starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world

sad! god made you in his image and thats why youve never been able to return a call

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

it’s because you’re always in that damn hole that resembles the grave but isn’t

Fig is currently dating a bird woman hybrid who is never not at least a little bit on fire and you are out here questioning her credentials?

Fig certified monster fucker?

FUCK THAT MEANS KIPPERCUNT ALSO SAW HOW THEY FIGHT CALL THE BITCH SAM REICH SHE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN BRENNAN!?

suggesting your friend group all kills each other and calling dibs on one of them is fucking iconic and also peak 17 year old behavior

wdym i didnt start highschool and immediately bond with 5 other chaotic but loveable misfits, where our curiosity leads us to uncovering secrets and eventually having to save the world multiple times and go through a collective mental breakdown junior year.

I've seen people say it before, but it still blows my mind that the only parents not in the Bad Parent polycule are the CANONICAL SWINGERS

rewatching dawn of justice and melting at how often the bad kids help each other . its everyone squaring up with kipperlilly when she comes for kristen, its them helping adaine get from 4 to an unnatural 20 with her hottie, its everyone showing up for riz' first game with the owlbears, its adaine shooting off chromatic orbs behind fig when she's rocking out, its them all lurking outside bobby dawn's office ready to POP off for kristen

And is that waify little idiot hiding behind you your boyfriend or are you being haunted by some sort of spectral ghool?

It’s been two years since the great gatsby entered the public domain and Netflix hasn’t even made a horrible miniseries adaptation where they are all hot and gay and racially diverse but in a totally hollow meaningless unsexy way. We used to live in society