hello willow ! I saw that there are tags for past rape and sexual abuse on ptmy, and I understand if u dont wanna spoil anything (if so no need to answer this!) but i was just wondering if it would pertain to reader or to touya ??

i love ur fics so much !!

hello dearest ✨️

i — originally wasn't sure if this was a spoiler or not, but i'm going to answer it anyway; nothing is ever specifically detailed or mentioned, and it's not one certain event either, but, in ptmy, touya has never had a completely consensual sexual experience in his life. all that he knows about it, all he's ever experienced, all he understands of it, has no basis regarding a 'i'm doing this because i want to do this with you' mindset — which is sad !! but it comes from both viewing it in his childhood (however that manifested between rei and enji) as well as how he survived, alone, as a young man, on the streets while growing up.

ty for reading my things, and for the question !!

And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.

As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.

annabeth "my grand plan is that i will be remembered/and someday soon someone will notice me" chase

vs

percy "i swear i swear that im a good kid. all i need is one last chance to prove im good enough for someone" jackson

Shigure's relationship with Kyo drives me crazy. he doesn't hate Kyo in the slightest - in fact, he pities Kyo, and not in the condescending "oh you poor little boy, cursed to be a horrible, disgusting monster" sort of way that everyone else does. Shigure pities Kyo for the reason he should be pitied: he's just a kid caught up in a system so inhumane it can't possibly be survived without some seriously unhealthy coping mechanisms.

and it drives me crazy because - listen, Shigure is the only zodiac member who's emotionally aware enough to see the other zodiac members as exactly what they are. he knows Yuki is a severely traumatized kid who projects all of his self-hatred on a single convenient target. he knows Akito is really a scared little girl with a raging god complex (literally) and no concept of a healthy relationship. and he knows Kyo is a regular-ass human being who doesn't deserve to be locked up for the rest of his life just because some arbitrary system says so. he KNOWS it's stupid. he KNOWS it's ridiculous and unfair. and he has to share a house with Kyo knowing that Kyo is living with a sword over his head, hating himself and hating others in perfect tandem because he has no other way of coping with the insane amounts of negativity he's had to deal with his entire life.

but the thing about Shigure is that he KNOWS all of this, and the same time he doesn't really CARE. he feels sorry for Kyo, but an apathetic sort of pity, a disinterested "this is how it is. such a shame." sort of pity. in some ways he's worse than the other zodiacs because he DOES see Kyo as a person, someone he likes being around even, but he still considers Kyo below his attention because all his focus is on Akito and breaking the curse. and sure, once the curse is broken Kyo will theoretically be set free with the rest of them, but that's more of a coincidental side effect than anything. despite being in a much more dangerous and precarious mental space AND comfortably in Shigure's reach, Kyo is about as much a priority for Shigure as Ritsu or Momiji.

and it drives me CRAZY because i think Shigure does start actively caring about Kyo as the series goes on, but it's hard to tell when that happens and to what extent. when Kazuma told Shigure he planned to reveal Kyo's true form and Shigure said he was going too far - whose sake was it for? was Shigure trying to protect Kyo, who would be hideously traumatized/emotionally scarred by such a cruel betrayal? was he trying to protect Kyo and Tohru's relationship, which was still formulating and might, under such severe testing, ultimately end up damaged beyond repair? was he only trying to protect Tohru, who wasn't ready to be burdened by such a horrible aspect of the curse so soon, or perhaps simply didn't deserve it? or was it all for the sake of himself, trying to protect his still-forming plans of using Tohru's positive effect on the Sohmas to break the curse?

Shigure cares about Kyo, but they're not close and Kyo clearly isn't a priority. he treats Kyo like a person - offering him genuine advice, teasing him like he teases anyone else, even speaking up on his behalf once or twice - and yet he's too entrenched in the long game to spare much active interest in Kyo. for a very long time, he doesn't care about Kyo the way he cares about Yuki or Tohru, and it's never made clear when exactly that changed. and the thing that gets me about this whole situation is that right from the start, Shigure is in a position where he can meet Kyo at his level - as equals, just one human being to another - but he doesn't, because Shigure is a chessmaster, Shigure is someone who observes and calculates, Shigure never steps in unless one of his chess pieces makes a wrong move and he absolutely has to.

it drives me crazy. Shigure drives me crazy. this series drives me so so crazy.

If megumi asked uzhsjdhshd omg I totally see it tbh him wanting you, but I don't think megumi would ever ask yuuji to share you, in any type of way at all. (not trying to push my own hc here!!) I feel like yuuji himself would be the one asking megumi. Yuuji knows that he's yours just as much as he knows you're his. And he loves you too much, a lot, it's purest type of love he has ever felt for anyone. And megumi is his best friend, he loves him just as much, right? Yes, not the same love between you and him ofc but yes. And I have no idea what they were doing but yuuji's just says, kind of out of the blue, that he'd let megumi fuck you. The reason being exactly cause he knows you're his, and you're just so so good that he needs to have someone to talk to (about you and always so respectfully) and who better that his best friend?

you’re opening the pandora’s box that is itfs + reader…. god….. 

okok i agree. if you’re dating yuuji, megumi would never ask, yuuji would be the one to bring all three of you together. definitely because he loves you and you’re his, and he loves megumi too, so it just makes sense that his two favorite people also get to have each other—but also, yuuji can tell megumi likes you, and he can tell you think megumi is attractive and since yuuji’s so nice, what kinder thing to do than to set you two up so he can watch (: he definitely enjoys being the mediator, also enjoys the somewhat awkward air between you and megumi, how yeah, maybe it’s a little taboo that the two of you are about to make out while you’re boyfriend watches, but yuuji likes that too… also he likes knowing that you both like him. like how lucky is he that his best friend and his girlfriend adore him so much :(( you two together makes so much sense in his head, because he talks to megumi about you, and he talks to you about megumi, and now, he can just pour all his love for both of you out at the same time

but also…. i’d like to think that yuuji’s maybe not so nice when it’s the other way around—when he and megumi get together first, and you’re megumi’s best friend. he’s not mean, but he does like to tease... how naughty of megumi to ask out yuuji knowing he’s still got a crush on you, and god does yuuji like to tease him about it :/ jerks him off and taunts about how he knows megumi’s dirty little secret—that he’s in love with his best friend and fantasizes not just about having you, but about watching his own boyfriend fuck you too… 

yuuji knows megumi would take his feelings for you to the grave if he could (he’d have done the same with his feelings for yuuji if yuuji wasn’t the one to ask him out), but where’s the fun in that! you and megumi are sooo cute together after all, so yuuji doesn’t mind trying to get you two to confess to each other too. uses his proximity to megumi to get closer to you, takes advantage of his bubbly disposition to be physically affectionate with you, uses megumi’s feelings to his advantage to tease, to wink, to smirk whenever you and yuuji hug a little longer, when he texts megumi that he’s meeting up with you for lunch, when he gives you his jacket and doesn’t ask for it back… there’s so much fun in watching megumi blush and whine and get off at the thought of his best friend and his boyfriend together. and the thing is, yuuji genuinely does like you, too, he sees what megumi sees in you, and he thinks megumi is crazy to have not asked you out before, but he supposes everything happens for a reason, because now, this way, yuuji gets to be there and watch it all happen under his guidance. there’s something about the power, about being the bridge between you two even though you and megumi have known each other for much longer, about being in control of a dynamic that could have, but wouldn’t exist without him…

I CAN'T believe there is no amnesia radioapple fic.

H O W

thinking about morty's stats and remembering back to when rick talked about "morty waves"

no wonder they "cancel out" because they're both so intelligent it's like trying to link two magnets together. they repel each other. like fucking duh we knew this already, but it's nice to see it confirmed to us in s7ep7

morty isn't dumb, he's just a different kind of intelligent that's on the same unique level as rick. what makes it doubly unique is that rick (or rick's in general) are unable to truly understand it so they brush it off/downplay it

i like to think that both morty and rick are coded to be autistic, and their special interests shown reveal that. rick's special interest is science and engineering, morty's is art. i'd like to think it's art since he loves video games and is naturally very creative. like yeah he's a 14/15 year old boy so obviously he loves video games but i mean it in the sense of how he appreciates them as an art form/story telling thing and not just something to play to pass the time

i love rewatching "rest and ricklaxation" because this is shown so clearly as rick is "creating a new element" and morty is practicing pottery

they're literally two sides of the same coin

a frequent visitor

A subtle way you can tell lestat is very selfish and ignorant about race, especially in ep 6 is that he said that they'd go to Argentina, a country which at the time was explicitly looking for white Europeans (including n*zis) to move there after spending decades pushing their black and Indigenous populations to the fringes of society to whiten up the country

i made a semi-facetious joke about kabru dungeon meshi but then it turned into a long ramble oops

kabru is so weirded out by laios' inscrutable vibes and lack of interest in other people (including kabru which he totally doesn't take personally or anything) that he immediately descends into paranoia and assumes malevolence

what i'm saying is laios is autistic rep, this we know, but kabru is also autistic rep, for equally traumatized autistic people who think their hard-learned mastery of people pleasing, social scripts and masking translates into unilateral skill at reading people of all types and assuming they are right on the money about it every time (**despite obvious cases of this not being true) and now call themselves Dark Empaths and have that one person who didn't wrong them but also didn't notice them or immediately become their friend and so said Empath is waiting desperately for another, actually valid reason to call them out and claim this weirdo was evil all along and be 'dealt with' and feel reassuring closure over not being able to connect with what is now clearly proven to be just an obvious error of a human, whatever that even means,

and tragically not grappling with the irony of this being the exact fate they've merely defensively trained their way out of facing at the hands of others

i say this as someone who likes kabru and think he and laios should kiss btw i just wanted to see how many people read all that and Flinched, happy tuesday

**something something:

Worthy Contrast i think, between A) kabru assuming average joe adventurers laios and falin are sinister people hiding something... after seeing their honest generosity be pretty blatantly taken advantage of, without them ever catching on or at least never causing a fuss, and kabru assuming laios could only ever be corrupted by the forces of the dungeon because laios doesn't care enough about people or what people think, which must mean he doesn't value human life enough to not do evil things one day

B) kabru having misguided trust for the town's literal crime lord, who he knows is a crime lord, entirely bc of how friendly the guy is and how clean and orderly he runs things (because it's functionally pragmatic to not be as evil as possible about it) and oohh they're so well acquainted! kabru knows he's a ultimately a good dude who'd do the right thing and care about the community whose seedy underbelly he oversees, and look at him, he even looks like santa claus...! after all the cordial interactions they've had, surely "leave money on the table to prevent a calamity that could leave hundreds dead" is a favor he won't mind kabru asking of him at all!

kabru said he wanted to see a mask fall,

he got exactly that

I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears

I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!

The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.

More:

Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.

Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)

Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.

Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.

Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.

The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.

They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.

And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.

I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.

hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

When will you update the fanfic whiskey in a teacup🙏 Its well missed

I'm surprised (in a super good, heartwarming way) that you guys still ask about it. It's been on hiatus for about 6 months now, and I'm really sorry for the delay.

I've been incredibly busy, but I'll try to find time to update it soon. The story has become more demanding than I originally expected, and I don't want to post just to "keep it going" with endless fillers that would detract from the story.

Mello is trying to reach his goal but is conflicted about his feelings for the reader, and she has her own challenges to overcome as well. They both need to resolve their individual issues to be together, and I want to execute this well. I aim to keep him as in-character as possible, which is really challenging in a romance story. I've accepted that the Mello I’ve developed might be a bit out of character, which leads to a lot of asks (that I frankly just delete bc ugh, get a life?) criticizing my portrayal, as if those commenters know him personally.

Anyway, my experience in the fandom has been mixed lately, which is unmotivating and mostly disappointing. But I appreciate your support and interest, and I hope to post the next chapter soon!

ily!!! take care 💜💜

blacked out and came to with a document full of macden

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?