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the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

everyday at work i hear something that makes me want to strangle rich people even more

love being 25 and not knowing how to socialize bc i’m autistic and off putting and cringe so no one wanted to talk to me/wanted to be my friend growing up so now i’m an adult with very few friends or ppl i talk to on a regular basis bc i never learned how to socialize or text properly bc no one taught me how

//my favorite thing lately has been scrubbing the internet for decades old samurai jack edits and amvs and watching them. there’s so much love for samurai jack in them, faith that he would be back to finish his tale one day, and it fits perfectly with the time it came out lol. the edits aren’t as great as they would be with technology nowadays and the music is often linkin park but there’s always an open love for Jack and the series in there. and there’s something about seeing people love Jack even when it’s not at it’s most angsty, when it’s just seasons 1-4, without the novelty, without anything else to focus on but what makes Jack Jack.

AUDITIONS!!!!

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

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when i click on nagito to talk to him i’m actually giving him a little kiss bc i love him and also as an apology bc the writers screwed him over

sorry but i still think it is so so crazy and insane to look at a child—ANY child, any teenager, ANYONE, but especially CHILDREN—and hit them. as a punishment or warning or whatever. that is so crazy to me. how could you ever look at a child and bring yourself to hurt them in any way shape or form??????????? that’s insane to me.

asjfbcdndbd

“well that depends on how much hope there is”

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i finished playing totk i did every side quest & adventure all the shrines went to all the caves mapped out all of the depths filled out the whole compendium and i can def say that it has beaten out botw as my favorite game ever bc it is literally botw but like 10x better lol. i would lump them in together as number 1 though just to make it easier if i was going to make a list. but anyway i started playing dark souls 2 and here is the thing…..is it easier than dark souls yes i can tell it is for sure bc i died WAY more in dark souls at this stage & i also just defeated the first boss w/o dying lmao. BUT. the fact that your heath bar goes down 5% every time you die is the most insidious game mechanic i have ever seen…..like oh you’re dying a lot? now you’ll die more bc you have less health 😊 esp in a game part of a series as notoriously hard as dark souls…..like it genuinely makes me kind of mad fr that they did that like was it necessary? was it kind?

I’m doing everything wrong and bad always, ugh