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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

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Requests (5/8/2021)

Hi lovelies! I just filled up the queue through May but I have a LOT of requests left. So I’m posting the remaining requests below! If you see your request here that means it’ll be posted in June at the earliest. If you don’t see your request it means it’s probably going to be posted in May (although I did delete two messages that weren’t “requests” as much as “demands”, messages that said, “Do this,” or, “Make that,” which I don’t respond to). There are some requests I addressed in a post on April 27th though that won’t be posted until June also so be sure to check that out. Thanks for the support lovelies! Hope you like what’s to cum. ;)

Anonymous said:

Could u do emma stone from amazing spider man i like her look from the 2nd one but its fine whichever u use

Yep! Second one it is. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi was wondering if you could do a caption of a superhero that is captured by their villain and turned into an evil hench woman thought about anne hathaway as cat woman if you could thanks love your captions btw

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption where a white guy gets turned into Kerry Washington. And becomes addicted to sleeping with black men? I was thinking of using the scene from little man where shes in bed after a night of "doing it". Can that be done or is that too graphic of a description?

I don’t think it’s too graphic? I’ve never seen Little Man (idk what it is tbh) but I googled “Kerry Washington Little Man” & found a pic I think works so I can do this.

Anonymous said:

I don't remember if I requested this already or not but could you do one of Haley atwell from captain america I was thinking like a super soldier test turns a guy into her but he then finds out that was the plan that the government wanted to make super sissies instead

You did not request it and I can do it!

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do a caption using Betsy brandt? Shes the aunt from breaking bad incase you didnt know I just think shes beautiful and hope you could do a caption for her idk what about maybe something about milfs thatd be good ig whatever you decide anyways thanks

I DO know who that is! And there have been quite a few MILF requests (as you’ll see) so all you MILF lovers will be happy going forward. :)

Anonymous said:

Hello first off big fan 2nd off im sorry if this is too much but I have abit of a list for ya if u can do these thats great if not its ok just sorry i know its alot. Emma thompson(saving mr banks) Sean young, (ace venture) Rhea Pearlman, ( matilda) Christina agulara( burlesque) sigourney weaver, (alien or ghostbusters) emma stone (cruela) thank u there will be a part 2

Heres part 2 its just ones I dont really have any specific thing in mind. Tia and Tamara. Idna menzel. Adele. Bonnie Tyler. Ruby rose. Sarah chalke. Kristen schaal. Melissa McCarthy. Megan trainer. Elizabeth gillies. Like i said if u can great if not thats alright atleast u'll have some stocked up for a rainy day thanks again and sorry again

Hello im the one who gave the list of requests sorry once again I just wanted to further explain one of them the christina Aguilera from burlesque one to be specific I would like the one where she is wearing the bowler hat with the loose frizz curls thats the only one I can think of to elaborate on the rest are up to u thanks again sorry again

Ok so this is A LOT of requests and in the future I would like to ask people to limit their requests to three celebs at a time, but I’ve never said that before so it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested all these. So yes I can do these requests. The only one I won’t do is Sean Young from Ace Ventura because her character in Ace Ventura is really really transphobic (or, more specifically, how that character is written). And I can do that specific Christina Aguilera one. Also since this IS so many requests I’ll probably be sprinkling them in through instead of doing them all at once, & I already wrote an Elizabeth Gillies one coming out towards the end of May.

Anonymous said:

If possible could you do Elizabeth perkins as Wilma Flintstone I had the idea of it litterally being set in cave man times and depicting the forat instance of feminization, the first sissy, being of a weaker evolution and stuff causing the tribe to pick him as the tribes cave sissy

Oooo, sounds fun. Totally!

Anonymous said:

Could you do Marissa tomei? Was thinking hero type story by night hes a crime fighing vigilante by day She is a stay at home sissy wife waiting for hubby to get home to pleasure him

I can do this!

Anonymous said:

Could you try making one where a boy who’s always been short his entire life gets feminized by his friend? I was thinking someone like Skai Jackson would be great for this

Sure thing! I found one of Skai where she’s of age so I’ll use that. :) (I won’t use a GIF of here her though since most of them are from Jessie when she’s under 18)

Anonymous said:

I was wondering if you could do one about a college professor named Peter whose autocloset gets hacked by his students. They transform and feminize him into a sexy latina milf so they have someone sexy to look at during class. Actress of your choice, someone over 30 please.

Oooo, I’ve got the perfect celeb for this. ;)

Anonymous said:

Hi I actually have 3 u may have done them before but if u can thatd be great. 1 Natalie Portman (V for vendetta ) the little girl outfit with the pigtails I was thinking like a lost bet. 2 P!nk (beautiful trauma) the house wife look is so good. 3 Elizabeth olsen (wandavision) when shes in the bed wearing her costume like a morning after thing. Thats all like I said if u can thank u love ur captions

Ah gotcha. I can do these!

Anonymous said:

Hi id like to start off by saying i love your captions. Was wondering if you could do one of Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona flowers when she had Green hair as far as the story I dont really have anything other than green being the guys fav color idk hopefully you can do something with that anyways thank you for your time have a good one

I can work with this. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey I have a specific scene in mind its of kaley cuoco when she was on the big bang theory I dont remember the episode but its where shes sitting on the couch when her BF walks in and shes dressed in this purple lingerie and shes got her hair up its beautiful I was thinking if u could do a caption on that? Maybe like a roommates thing sorry I dont have enough info on the scene

I’VE HAD THIS IMAGE FOR SO LONG BUT COULDN’T THINK OF A STORY SO YES I CAN DO THIS! :D

Anonymous said:

Could u ro Lindsay sloane from bring it on I had to look up the name I just remember her as "Big red" what they called her in the movie

Yep! I love Bring it On. :)

Anonymous said:

Omg i love the Alex kingston caption u did recently whenever u get a chance could u do more River song captions also the billie piper one again whenever u get the chance

You got it. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok if you could i have an idea for a caption of a guy who wants to be internet famous but cant cut it as a guy so he pretends to be a lady on an onlyfans but doesnt show off anything too much then he gets surprised by his Male roommate who found out and his roommate blackmails him into making more "Private" videos to get cash I was thinking using meg turney if u could thanks

Sounds fun. Sure thing! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello I know you mightve done this one already but the one of Katy Perry from "Hey hey hey" music vid could u do another one from that still her with the blonde hair but when shes just waking up instead thank you

You bet!

Anonymous said:

I know you got alot of requests lately but if you dont mind one more could you do Drew Barrymore from Batman forever?

I had to double check how old she was in that but yes! I can do this. :)

Anonymous said:

I know I probably wont see this for awhile but if u could can u do a caption of debby ryan from jessie where she is dressed like a little kid and has her hair in pigtails? I was thinking like a babysitting gig gone wrong for the story like dress up goes too far or something anyawys thank u

Do you know what episode that’s from? I found the image and I think it looks great but I just want to make 100% sure that Jessie was an adult when she made it. If you know the episode feel free to message me & I can go ahead with it. :)

Anonymous said:

I have 3 if u could do them 1. Zazie beets 2. Zendaya 3. Tessa Thompson. Thats all thanks

I actually have Zazie Beets and Zendaya caps coming up before May ends, but you’ll get the Tessa Thompson one in June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do another caption tor jenna fischer from the office please?

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a cap where a teacher named Peter gets feminized into a latina housewife and use Marisol Nichols from Riverdale? Can't ignore the MILFs.

Damn right you can’t! I’ll be sure to do this. :)

Anonymous said:

Addison Rae or Ariana Grande please

I’ll do both! :)

@tammyboy25 said:

Hi there! I was wondering if you could please do one where a sister or best girlfriend guilt trips a boy into being their maid of honor for her wedding? Bachelorette party, Dress shopping, getting their hair done, dancing with other boys at the reception are some ideas I had. Thank you so much either way!!!

Ooooo I love this! You got it sweetie. :)

Anonymous said:

Wow, I really loved the "From the Amazons" caption you did with Wonder Woman! Could you do something similar with a guy named Rene put into the body of a sluttfied superheroine? Maybe Scarlet Witch/Wanda? Thanks!

“From the Amazons” has been getting a lot of love so thanks everyone! I can totally do this with an Elizabeth Olsen pic. :)

Anonymous said:

I'm not sure if youve seen falcon and the winter soldier yet but Erin kellyman who plays kharli in that is a relatively new actress so I could understand if you dont know her but if you do could you make a caption for her? Thank you

I actually do know who she is! I saw her in “Falcon & Winter Soldier” and Solo so I can totally do a cap with her. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi, yesterday I said how much I loved that Wonder Woman caption you did with Gakl Gadot. And I've since discovered the manips made by Saturdays24. My name is Rene, and I'd loved to be turned into a girl in one of his pics, particularly Taylor Swift! Thanks!

Sure thing! @saturdays24 gave me permission to use their stuff a few years ago so I can do any caps with their manips. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you please do Priyanka Chopra captions

Sure!

Anonymous said:

Can you do Lala Anthony captions. I am a big fan of her

Totally! (For some reason I can’t find a good GIF of her though)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a cap with the new Billie Eilish Vogue Pics? That would be so so amazing.

Anonymous said:

billie eilish or addison rae?

Anonymous said:

Hi I remember someone else asking for a billie eilish caption since she was of age now but it was still too recent to have any pics of her at the right age well now shes 19 and I just saw she was on the cover of vogue afew days ago ....would that work?

Don’t worry, a Billie Eilish cap from British Vogue is on the way! She is an adult now & so I can make caps with her. :) (Also to the person who asked about Addison Rae, like I said earlier I’ll make one for her too. :D)

Anonymous said:

I really liked ur newest caption of Kelly lebrock as a boss being spotted enfemme I was wondering if u could do a follow up to that one? Maybe with her from woman in red. Id just like to see the coworker confront the boss

I like that idea! Totally. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption with Jhene Aiko or Jenna Ortega? They’re both similar to me in body build so it would be pretty amazing to see them in a caption.

Jhene Aiko yes. Jenna Ortega MAYBE. Jenna Ortega only JUST turned 18 and that was during the COVID-19 pandemic so there aren’t going to be a lot of projects where she’s an adult to pull from. So if I can find something maybe otherwise you might just have to wait a bit. Sorry if that’s a bummer. :/

Anonymous said:

Can you do Nikita Dragun captions please?

I’ve no idea who this is, sorry.

Anonymous said:

Idk if u know the band pentatonix or not but if u do could u do a caption for Kirstin Maldonado they just came out with a music video for 90s medley and she is gorgeous in it much appreciated :)

I’ve actually done some Kristin Maldonado caps already so I can totally do another. :)

#Requests #Not a Caption

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houseofzoey · 4 years

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Plot

The central conflict of this book relates to Zoey’s mother’s death and the mystery of Aurox. It’s stated multiple times that a powerful sacrifice would be needed to create a creature like him, and Linda was murdered not long before he first showed up at school. Therefore, Zoey and co. are pretty sure Neferet is behind Linda’s murder, but they need to find a way to prove it.

However, as is often the case with this series, very little time is actually spent working toward this goal, or even really discussing it. I mean, absolutely nothing is done about Aurox until the very end, and Zoey has a very easy way to figure out what he is. Her seer stone heats up every time she sees him, so, logically, she just needs to look through it to see what kind of old magick was used in creating him. But that would hugely advance a major plot point faster than the author wants, so of course it doesn’t happen.

Instead, we have a weird half-conflict with Zoey and Stark because Kalona invading Stark’s dreams is making him sleep deprived and grumpy, but this is ended unceremoniously and nothing actually comes of it. We have Stevie Rae and Rephaim regularly arguing about a) him longing to reconnect with his father, and b) her wanting him to stay with her when he turns into a bird. Again, nothing really comes of this. We have the Twins’ falling out, which comes out of nowhere, is way-overemphasized considering how little presence they’ve had in the last several books, and – oh yeah – accomplishes nothing.

There are other, scattered little conflicts, too, like Lenobia and Travis’ romance subplot that takes up far too much room in this book considering how little reason I have to care about it, or the rogue red fledglings showing up at school, or Rephaim and Dallas butting heads over Stevie Rae, etc.

Rather than all these different conflicts making the book feel complicated, or creating the impression that the characters are overwhelmed, all this does is distract from the one conflict that actually matters. Because nothing really comes out of these other conflicts, they essentially amount to padding and filler. It’s only there because the author wanted the book to be longer than 50 pages.

Day One: Chapter 2 – Chapter 12 (Thursday) I’m starting at chapter two because the prologue and chapter one were technically the day before, but aren’t super important to the timeline of the book, particularly as it pertains to the ritual at the end. Basically, in those chapters, we learn that Kalona is still influencing Stark through his dreams but Zoey doesn’t actually do anything about it, and we learn a little bit about what Aurox is and is capable of.

We start with ableism and too much dialogue before Zoey and co. load onto the minibus to head to school, there’s some conversation about grief between her and Damien, and then we start the school day. Zoey, Stevie Rae, Kramisha, Erik, Dragon, Lenobia, and Neferet have a Skype meeting with Duantia. This goes on far too long and basically confirms that, yes, they can treat the tunnels as a separate dorm from the Tulsa House of Night, but Neferet is still their High Priestess – except no, she’s not, at least not for red fledglings, because Stevie Rae is their High Priestess despite not actually running a school or having any valid reason to hold that level of power.

Scattered throughout is a chapter with Kalona and a chapter with Rephaim. Kalona is upset about Rephaim turning from him and orders some of the other Raven Mockers to go ask Rephaim to spy for him. Rephaim, meanwhile, is dealing with bullying and jealousy from Dallas. Damien is showing him around to classes, and they quickly decide that he should sit out his fourth hour fencing class because Dragon would not be happy to see him. While Rephaim is hanging out in a courtyard, his brothers show up.

Now, this is where the timeline gets screwy, because Zoey and Stevie Rae leave the Council Meeting at the beginning of second hour, but somehow they hear the fight that breaks out when Dragon sees Rephaim talking with Raven Mockers. There’s a confrontation, Neferet shows up with Aurox, who transforms and kills one of the Raven Mockers, and Stevie Rae uses her affinity to protect Rephaim without ever actually manipulating the earth because Wasted Potential is this series’ true name. They all argue ineffectually for a while about why Rephaim was speaking with Raven Mockers and what the hell Aurox is, including Zoey feeling her seer stone heat up but failing to even try to look through it.

We then get a single, tedious chapter from Erik’s perspective. He’s a Tracker. He Tracks and Marks Shaylin. She’s blind, but then she’s not because vampyrism. Also, she’s Marked red and that’s concerning. She confuses Erik by talking about auras. The end.

Back with Zoey in the stables, Lenobia reassures her that it’s totally fine to not look at Aurox through the seer stone because that makes her uncomfortable. Also, Stark being briefly possessed is definitely not worth worrying about. Then we meet Travis, the new human stablehand that Neferet has hired for Lenobia. There is much tittering about how hot he is, though the author very confusingly insists on comparing him to Sam Elliott. There is tension between him and Lenobia, but she decides to be courteous to him to thwart Neferet’s dastardly plan of creating mild confusion and irritation – sorry, I mean “chaos”.

Damien shows up to tell Zoey that her Grandma is there and looks like she’s been crying. We get confirmation that Zoey’s mom has been murdered. For some reason, the police assume it was drug addicts looking for quick money, despite the body being entirely drained of blood. After completely mistranslating a bunch of Cherokee words, they agree to perform a cleansing ritual at Grandma’s farm once she has completed her own seven days of mourning.

There’s a scene with Aurox and Zoey. He randomly has Kleenex because he is Heath and ~*symbolism*~. Zoey’s emotions stay with him, which is weird.

Zoey meets Shaylin, who reveals she can see auras in the most confusing way possible. Damien concludes this is probably True Sight, and almost immediately after their introduction, Neferet shows up. Shaylin pretends to faint. There’s some arguing, but because Shaylin is Marked red, she goes to the tunnels with Zoey and co. instead of staying at the school under Neferet’s sway. After Neferet leaves, Shaylin basically says her aura looks like pure evil.

(This is also about where we derail into an infuriating and unnecessary rant about the author’s – sorry, Aphrodite’s – right to say ableist slurs.)

We cut to Kalona. He learns that Rephaim is human now and Aurox killed one of his sons. He decides to seek out Rephaim in the interest of working against Neferet, their common enemy.

We cut to Rephaim. He and Stevie Rae argue because she wants him to stay with her when he turns into a bird, but he says being a raven makes him a dangerous beast. Sure. Right. Also, Stevie Rae tries to convince him to stop holding out hope for his father because he’s a bad parent.

Zoey and co. talk about True Sight. And then they argue about if they can still trust Rephaim after seeing him talking with Raven Mockers. Nothing comes of any of this. They all go to bed.

We have a pointless chapter with Lenobia and Travis.

We then cut to Aurox. He and Neferet go into the basement of Will Rogers High School in a needlessly complicated and drawn out scene. They find the rogue red fledglings and convince them to come back to the House of Night, largely because they’ll all die if they aren’t around adult vampyres – never mind that Dallas is an adult and there aren’t that many of them.

Day Two: Chapter 13 - Chapter 16 (Friday) Stark has a dream about Zoey dying. The narration makes it seem like it’s not from Nyx, but nothing comes of it, so… I have no clue what it was supposed to accomplish.

They arrive at the school. The bus full of rogue red fledglings is already there. Requisite but pointless drama. Then, as everyone is heading into the school, Rephaim pulls Zoey aside and tells her he can feel Kalona calling to him. They go meet with Kalona, talk for far too long to basically conclude that he wants a truce so he can help them defeat Neferet.

Zoey skips class because she’s stressed, then spends several pages recapping events to herself. She has another conversation with Aurox, which is interrupted by Stark. She tries to talk to Stark about Aurox, but then they’re interrupted by Thanatos, who tells them that she has a new class for special students that will take over her first hour slot, effectively saving Zoey from ever attending class with Neferet as her professor. Can’t have Zoey dealing with discomfort!

They eat lunch and talk about daddy issues. This is where we learn that, suddenly, Shaunee also has a tumultuous relationship with her father. We thus start the Twins’ conflict.

There’s a short and pointless scene with Lenobia in the stables.

Back at the tunnels, Kramisha reveals her new poem. They speculate about what it means for a while but ultimately come to no useful conclusions. They once again argue about if Rephaim can be trusted, which – again – leads to no meaningful changes or developments. Aphrodite makes a rude comment when Rephaim leaves to go turn into a bird, and Stevie Rae runs out of the room crying. Zoey goes to comfort her. Then Zoey goes to be and uses spirit to calm Stark’s dreams.

Kalona is watching Stark’s dream, which is cringey and pointless, but seems to be the last time Kalona ever uses this connection to Stark in this way.

Day Three: Chapter 17 (Saturday) Shaunee refuses to go shopping with Kramisha, Aphrodite, and Erin on the excuse that she is sick, which causes tension between her and Erin. Shaunee reflects on feeling neglected and abandoned by her father. Kalona shows up and they talk. Shaunee is sympathetic to his efforts to reconnect with Rephaim, so she gives him her cell phone.

We then cut to Shaunee telling the group about this. Tensions boil over between her and Erin. They officially have a falling out.

Day Four: Chapter 18 (Sunday) While Zoey and Aphrodite are sitting outside the depot chatting about recent events, Thanatos shows up. She waxes poetic about train stations for a needlessly long time. Then she announces that she’s buying the depot in their name (even though Duantia had already declared the High Council was going to do this), and then explains that she wants to uncover the truth about Neferet, which is further cemented when Zoey says she believes Neferet has taken the white bull as her Consort.

We have a scene where Aurox attempts to rape Becca and is only stopped by Dragon showing up. Dragon tells Becca to stop freaking out and walk away gracefully if she’s not interested. Aurox and Dragon talk, and Aurox says Zoey isn’t mean like Becca.

Day Five: Chapter 19 – Chapter 24 (Monday) Zoey and co. attend their first class with Thanatos. Nothing really happens except that Thanatos threatens bodily harm against Dallas, not because he’s a bigot, but because he’s a bigot in her classroom. Everyone writes down questions they would like to have answered and Zoey shows complete and utter disregard for her friends’ privacy by trying to peek at them.

After class, Dallas and Rephaim have a confrontation in the hallway. Or possibly the courtyard. The scene can’t make up its mind. Dragon breaks up the fight, but still doesn’t like Rephaim, so there’s a bunch of yelling and arguing about that. The chapter ends with Thanatos, Zoey, and Stark talking about their fear that Dragon might turn over to Darkness.

We have a chapter with Lenobia. She and Travis are still flirting and I still don’t care. They kiss, then she rejects him and runs away to cry in her room. I still don’t care.

Over with Neferet, she narrates about all the “chaos” she is causing and is very smug about it. Then she sees Zoey and Shaunee talking outside. She tries to call on Darkness to break a tree branch and kill Zoey, but Darkness – which killed Jack and Shekinah without additional sacrifice – refuses to kill Zoey because she’s a High Priestess and demands a powerful sacrifice. So Neferet asks Darkness to break the tree and bruise Zoey. Aurox rushing in to save her is written off as the white bull interceding for Reasons.

We get the same incident from Zoey’s perspective. Aurox gives off the same heat as the seer stone because… sure?

Zoey skips class again and runs into Thanatos, who asks her if she will talk about her mother’s death in front of an entire class of her peers. Thanatos also asks for Grandma’s phone number so she can talk to her about Linda’s death. Oh, and apparently Thanatos can see Darkness and Light, but has kept this a complete secret because apparently it won’t accomplish anything because the High Council is uselss. Also, Zoey is now being compared to Frodo.

On the bus home, everyone discusses whether or not the wind felt unnatural that day, and then Aphrodite has a vision. Too much time is spent discussing ordering pizza as a distraction. Finally, we get to Aphrodite in her room after the vision, which is followed by her rehashing the vision in a completely disjointed, poorly prioritized, and way too dragged out fashion. The conclusion is that Rephaim cannot attend the cleansing ritual at Grandma’s farm or he’ll die. Naturally, Stevie Rae and Rephaim show up to say that no, actually, Rephaim will still be attending that ritual, because logic and survival is for chumps.

Neferet and the bull spy on Kalona and conclude that his attachment to Rephaim is a big weakness.

Stevie Rae and Rephaim discuss the same BS about Kalona again, but also argue about him attending the ritual. They conclude that he is, in fact, still going to the ritual, and also Stevie Rae says she will stop pestering him about how his dad is evil and he should stop trying to repair their relationship.

We get the scene Neferet witnessed, but from Kalona’s perspective. He realizes Neferet is watching him. Concerned for Rephaim, he flies to the depot, where he sees Rephaim transform into a bird and gets mad at Nyx for still punishing Rephaim despite supposedly forgiving him.

Day Six: Chapter 25 - Chapter 29 (Tuesday) Zoey talks to the special class about her mom’s death, which includes digressions into Islamophobia and gay stereotypes. Then Thanatos announces – in front of the entire class, including Aurox – that Zoey and co. will be helping her perform a ritual to reveal who killed Zoey’s mother at her Grandma’s farm and that they leave right after class. Naturally, Aurox goes and tells Neferet, who tells him to follow them and interfere so that the ritual can’t be completed (but not to kill a High Priestess, because we can’t have actual threats or tension for the main character). Dragon also finds out what they’re doing because he sees everyone heading in the same direction despite having different classes, and also because Thanatos cannot understand the concept of “don’t tell Dragon because he might be the one who murders Rephaim.”

We spend a very long time on exposition and set up for the ritual, including heavy emphasis on how important it is that it be performed on the fifth night – which is unfortunate, since this is canonically the sixth night in the timeline. There’s also some serious research failure regarding Grandma’s dress, and for some reason Grandma is representing spirit in this ritual despite not having an affinity for it. Everything in the ritual is going fine until – shock horror – Aurox shows up! Because Thanatos announced their plans in front of him. Darkness has forced him to take on his bull form, he charges Rephaim, but Dragon shows up and defends Rephaim, completely countering literally everything that was built up about his motivations and regrets thus far.

They complete the ritual, witness Linda’s death, but can’t close the circle because Thanatos left out one very small detail: The ritual needs a death sacrifice to be ended. ‘Cause, you know, that’s not an incredibly sinister or disturbing thing to avoid telling a bunch of kids until the last minute.

But this story is built on convenience and contrivance, so Dragon is killed by Aurox, ending the ritual while allowing our main characters to survive and keep a clean conscience. Zoey finally looks at Aurox through the seer stone, realizes he’s Heath, and uses earth (sorry, a “green glow”) to prevent Darius and Stark from killing him. Aurox runs off. Everyone sees Dragon’s spirit reunite with Anastasia. Yay, happiness.

But Rephaim is badly injured. Kalona, who Stevie Rae had called on her cell phone during the climax, has shown up and is distraught that Rephaim is dying. So he cries and tells Rephaim he loves him, asking Nyx to spare him. One or all of these things – it’s not clear – heal Rephaim.

Thanatos declares she is the new High Priestess of Tulsa, ‘cause I guess she can do that and doesn’t, like, have responsibilities she needs to get back to in Italy. For unknown reasons, Kalona swears a Warrior’s Oath to her and says he will be the school’s new Sword Master.

#final thoughts #destined #house of zoey

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ohwaitwhatdamn · 3 years

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Here’s a song for you… Bad Mind by Erin Rae

#Spotify

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olreid · 5 years

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betty cooper, riverdale

bad mind / erin rae

femininity and domination: studies in the phenomenology of oppression / sandra lee bartky

the glass essay / anne carson

trauma & recovery / judith herman

in memory of satan / the mountain goats

#betty cooper my murder gf #riverdale syllabus #camp is a state of mind #RIVERDALE

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totalvibration · 5 years

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2018 dropped a bomb on me (love)

Here are the albums released in the year of our Lord 2018 that I thought were pretty neat, unranked and arbitrarily capped at what I could fit on two pages of spiral notebook paper and a sticky note. (Links to Bandcamp where available.) Also, this is an unsequenced playlist of various music offerings that I also thought were pretty neat.

Roy Montgomery, Suffuse

Bad Moves, Tell No One

Kacey Musgraves, Golden Hour

Turnstile, Time & Space

Marbled Eye, Leisure

Low, Double Negative

The HIRS Collective, Friends. Lovers. Favorites.

Kali Uchis, Isolation

Thou, Magus

Kadhja Bonet, Childqueen

The Glands, Double Coda

Ben LaMar Gay, Downtown Castles Can Never Block the Sun

Rosalía, El Mal Querer

Dark Thoughts, At Work

Tierra Whack, Whack World

The Ophelias, Almost

Mid-Air Thief, Crumbling

Sunwatchers, II

The Rock*A*Teens, Sixth House

Jorja Smith, Lost & Found

Balún, Prisma Tropical

Mike Shiflet, Tetracosa

Maxine Funke, Silk

Salad Boys, This Is Glue

Now, Now, Saved

Neneh Cherry, Broken Politics

Bégayer, Terrain à mire . Une maison rétive . Contrainte par le toit

Lonely Leary, Through The Park, Almost There

Chris Corsano & Bill Orcutt, Brace Up!

Cold Leather, Smart Moves

Kate Carr, the thing itself and not the myth

Heather Leigh, Throne

Messa, Feast for Water

Chapel of Disease, And As We Have Seen the Storm

Rosali, Trouble Anyway

Long Hots, Monday Night Raw

This White Light, Demo

Kali Malone, Cast of Mind

David Garland, Verdancy

Nathan Bowles, Plainly Mistaken

The Beths, Future Me Hates Me

Anna St. Louis, If Only There Was A River

Hank Wood & the Hammerheads, S/T

Portrayal of Guilt, Let Pain Be Your Guide

YOB, Our Raw Heart

Erin Rae, Putting On Airs

Reissues and archival releases:

High Rise, II

Deben Bhattacharya, Paris to Calcutta: Men and Music on the Desert Road

Julie Doiron, Désormais + Heart And Crime

No Trend, You Deserve Your Life

Franco Battiato, Clic

The Contemporary Jazz Quintet, Location

Sleepyhead, Future Exhibit Goes Here

Ragnar Johnson- Crying Bamboos: Ceremonial Flute Music from New Guinea Madang

#2018 in music

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transfemininomenon · 2 years

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erin rae's "bad mind" truly is just. the only song

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bifurious-rex · 2 years

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52, 45, 31

52: Wait a Minute! by Willow

45: Bad Mind by Erin Rae

31: Mad World by Tears for Fears

#lol.....hi tears for fears whats up besties.#ask #spotify wrapped #willow #erin rae #tears for fears

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skylightbooks · 6 years

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Late last night we gathered all of the new books that we carry that contain lists of

radical/difficult/legendary/badass/bold/brave/bad

girls/women/ladies/leaders/rebels/princesses/goddesses/feminists/heroines

and created a word cloud of all the names that occur in these books. Here it is in long form:

A'isha bint abi Bakr Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer Abigail Adams Ada Blackjack Ada Lovelace (appears 4 times) Adina De Zavala Aditi Aelfthryth Aethelflaed Agatha Christie Agnodice (appears 3 times) Agontime and the Dahomey Amazons Aine Aisholpan Nurgaiv Ala Alek Wek Alexandra Kollontai Alexis Smith Alfhild (appears 2 times) Alfonsina Strada Alia Muhammad Baker Alice Ball (appears 3 times) Alice Clement Alice Guy-Blache Alice Paul Alicia Alonso Alma Woodsey Thomas Althea Gibson Amal Clooney Amalia Eriksson Amanda Stenberg Amaterasu Amba/Sikhandi Ameenah Gurib-Fakim Amelia Earhart (appears 4 times) Amna Al Haddad Amy Poehler (appears 2 times) Amy Winehouse Ana Lezama de Urinza Ana Nzinga Anais Nin Andamana Andree Peel Angela Davis (appears 3 times) Angela Merkel (appears 2 times) Angela Morley Angela Zhang Angelina Jolie Anita Garibaldi (appears 3 times) Anita Roddick Ann Hamilton Ann Makosinski Anna Atkins Anna May Wong Anna Nicole Smith Anna of Saxony Anna Olga Albertina Brown Anna Politkovskaya Anna Wintour Anna-Marie McLemore Anne Bonny Anne Hutchinson Anne Lister Annette Kellerman (appears 3 times) Annie "Londonderry" Cohen Kopchovsky Annie Edson Taylor Annie Edson Taylor Annie Jump Cannon (appears 3 times) Annie Oakley (appears 2 times) Annie Smith Peck Aphra Behn Aphrodite Arawelo Aretha Franklin Artemis Artemisia Gentileschi (appears 4 times) Artemisis I of Caria Ashley Fiolek Astrid Lindgren Athena Aud the Deep-Minded Audre Lorde Audrey Hepburn Augusta Savage Aung San Suu Kyi (appears 2 times) Azucena Villaflor Babe Zaharias Barbara Bloom Barbara Hillary Barbara Walters Bast Bastardilla Beatrice Ayettey Beatrice Potter Webb Beatrice Vio Beatrix Potter Beatrix Potter Belle Boyd Belva Lockwood Benten Bessie Coleman (appears 2 times) Bessie Stringfield Bettie Page Betty Davis Betty Friedan Beyonce (appears 3 times) Billie Holiday Billie Jean King (appears 3 times) Birute Mary Galdikis Black Mambas Blakissa Chaibou Bonnie Parker Boudicca (appears 3 times) Brenda Chapman Brenda Milner Bridget Riley Brie Larson Brigid of Kildare Brigit Britney Spears Bronte Sisters Buffalo Calf Road Woman (appears 2 times) Buffy Sainte-Marie Calafia Caraboo Carly Rae Jepsen Carmen Amaya Carmen Miranda Carol Burnett Caroline of Brunswick-Wolfenbuttel Carrie Bradshaw Carrie Fisher (appears 2 times) Caterina Sforza Catherine Radziwill Catherine the Great (appears 3 times) Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin Celia Cruz Chalchiuhtlicue Chang-o Charlotte E Ray Charlotte of Belgium Charlotte of Prussia Cher Cheryl Bridges Chien-Shiung Wu Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (appears 3 times) Chiyome Mochizuki Cholita Climbers Chrissy Teigen Christina Christina of Sweden Christine de Pizan Christine Jorgensen (appears 2 times) Clara Rockmore Clara Schumann Clara Ward Claudia Ruggerini Clelia Duel Mosher Clemantine Wamariya Clementine Delait Cleopatra (appears 3 times) Coccinelle Coco Chanel (appears 2 times) Constance Markievicz Cora Coralina Coretta Scott King Corrie Ten Boom Courtney Love Coy Mathis Creiddylad Daenerys Targaryen Dahlia Adler Daisy Kadibill Dame Katerina Te Heikoko Mataira Delia Akeley Demeter Dhat al-Himma Dhonielle Clayton Diana Nyad Diana Ross Diana Vreeland (appears 2 times) Dixie Chicks Dolly Parton (appears 2 times) Dolores Huerta Dominique Dawes Dona Ana Lezama de Urinza and Dona Eustaquia de Sonza Dorothy Arzner Dorothy Dandridge Dorothy Thompson Dorothy Vaughan Dr. Eugenie Clark Dr. Jane Goodall (appears 3 times) Durga Edie Sedgwick Edith Garrud Edith Head Edith Wharton Edmonia Lewis Eleanor of Aquitaine Eleanor Roosevelt (appears 3 times) Elena Cornaro Piscopia Elena Piscopia Elinor Smith Elisabeth Bathory Elisabeth of Austria Elizabeth Bisland Elizabeth Blackwell Elizabeth Cady Stanton Elizabeth Hart Elizabeth I (appears 3 times) Elizabeth Murray Elizabeth Peyton Elizabeth Taylor Elizabeth Warren Elizabeth Zimmermann Elizsabeth Vigee-Lebrun Ella Baker Ella Fitzgerald Ella Hattan Elle Fanning Ellen Degeneres Elsa Schiaparelli Elvira de la Fuente Chaudoir Emily Warren Roebling Emma "Grandma" Gatewood Emma Goldman (appears 2 times) Emma Watson (appears 2 times) Emmeline Pankhurst (appears 3 times) Emmy Noether (appears 3 times) Empress Myeongseong Empress Theodora (appears 2 times) Empress Wu Zetian (appears 2 times) Empress Xi Ling Shi Enheduanna Eniac Programmers Eos Erin Bowman Estanatlehi Ethel Payne Eufrosina Cruz Eustaquia de Souza Eva Peron (appears 3 times) Fadumo Dayib Faith Bandler Fannie Farmer (appears 2 times) Fanny Blankers-Koen Fanny Bullock Workman Fanny Cochrane Smith Fanny Mendelssohn Fatima al-Fihri (appears 3 times) Fe Del Mundo Ferminia Sarras Fiona Banner Fiona Rae Florence Chadwick (appears 2 times) Florence Griffith-Joyner (appears 2 times) Florence Nightingale (appears 4 times) Frances E. W. Harper Frances Glessner Lee Frances Moore Lappe Franziska Freya Frida Kahlo (appears 7 times) Friederike Mandelbaum Funmilayo Ransome Kuti (appears 2 times) Gabriela Brimmer Gabriela Mistral Gae Aulenti Gaia George Sand Georgia "Tiny" Broadwick Georgia O'Keefe (appears 3 times) Gertrude Bell Gerty Cori Gilda Radner Girogina Reid Giusi Nicolini Gladys Bentley Gloria Steinem (appears 3 times) Gloria von Thurn Grace "Granuaile" O'Malley Grace Hopper Grace Jones Grace O'Malley (appears 3 times) Gracia Mendes Nasi Gracie Fields Grimke Sisters Guerrilla Girls Gurinder Chadha Gwen Ifill Gwendolyn Brooks (appears 2 times) Gypsy Rose Lee Hannah Arendt Harriet Beecher Stowe Harriet Tubman (appears 6 times) Hathor Hatshepsut (appears 7 times) Hazel Scott Hecate Hedy Lamarr (appears 5 times) Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Hel Helen Gibson Helen Gurley Brown (appears 2 times) Helen Keller (appears 2 times) Hildegard von Bingen Hillary Rodham Clinton (appears 2 times) Hina Hortense Mancini Hortensia Hsi Wang Mu Huma Abedin Hung Liu Hypatia (appears 4 times) Iara Ida B. Wells (appears 3 times) Ida Lewis Imogen Cunningham Irena Sendler (appears 3 times) Irena Sendlerowa Irene Joliot-Curie Isabel Allende Isabella of France Isabella Stewart Gardner Isadora Duncan (appears 2 times) Isis Iva Toguri D'Aquino Ixchel J.K. Rowling (appears 3 times) Jackie Mitchell Jacqueline and Eileen Nearne Jacquotte Delahaye Jane Austen (appears 2 times) Jane Dieulafoy Jane Mecom Jang-geum Janis Joplin Jayaben Desai Jean Batten Jean Macnamara Jeanne Baret (appears 3 times) Jeanne De Belleville Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Steinkamp Jenny Lewis Jesselyn Radack Jessica Spotswood Jessica Watson Jezebel Jill Tarter Jind Kaur Jingu Joan Bamford Fletcher Joan Beauchamp Procter Joan Jett (appears 2 times) Joan Mitchell Joan of Arc (appears 3 times) Jodie Foster Johanna July Johanna Nordblad Josefina "Joey" Guerrero Josephina van Gorkum Josephine Baker (appears 7 times) Jovita Idar (appears 2 times) Juana Azurduy Judit Polgar Judy Blume Julia Child (appears 2 times) Julia de Burgos Julie "La Maupin" d'Abigny (appears 3 times) Julie Dash Juliette Gordon Low Junko Tabei (appears 4 times) Justa Grata Honoria Ka'ahumanu Kali Kalpana Chawla Karen Carson Kasha Jacqueline Nabagesera Kat Von D Kate Bornstein Kate Sheppard Kate Warne Katherine Hepburn Katherine Johnson (appears 2 times) Kathrine Switzer Katia Krafft (appears 2 times) Katie Sandwina Kay Thompson Keiko Fukuda Keumalahayati Kharboucha Khawlah bint al-Azwar Khayzuran Khoudia Diop Khutulun (appears 5 times) Kim Kardashian King Christina of Sweden Kosem Sultan Kristen Stewart Kristin Wig Kuan Yin Kumander Liwayway Kurmanjan Dtaka Lady Godiva Lady Margaret Cavendish Laka Lakshmibai, Rani of Jhansi (appears 5 times) Lana Del Rey Las Mariposas Laskarina Bouboulina (appears 2 times) Laura Redden Searing Lauren Potter Laverne Cox (appears 2 times) Lee Miller Lella Lombardi Lena Dunham Leo Salonga Leymah Gbowee (appears 2 times) Libby Riddles Lieu Hanh Lil Kim Lili'uokalani Lilian Bland (appears 3 times) Lilith Lillian Boyer Lillian Leitzel Lillian Ngoyi Lillian Riggs Lindsay Lohan Liv Arensen and Ann Bancroft Lorde Lorena Ochoa Lorna Simpson Lorraine Hansberry Lotfia El Nadi Louisa Atkinson Louise Mack Lowri Morgan Lozen (appears 3 times) Lucille Ball Lucrezia Lucy Hicks Anderson Lucy Parsons Luisa Moreno Luo Dengping Lyda Conley Lynda Benglis Ma'at Mackenzi Lee Madam C.J. Walker (appears 3 times) Madame Saqui Madia Comaneci Madonna (appears 3 times) Madres de Plaza de Mayo Mae C. Jemison Mae Emmeline Wirth Mae Jemison (appears 3 times) Mae West Mahalia Jackson Mai Bhago Malala Yousafzai (appears 7 times) Malinche (appears 2 times) Mamie Phipps Clark Manal al-Sharif Marcelite Harris Margaret Margaret "Molly" Tobin Brown Margaret Bourke-White Margaret Cho Margaret Hamilton (appears 2 times) Margaret Hardenbroeck Philipse Margaret Sanger Margaret Thatcher (appears 2 times) Margery Kempe Margherita Hack Marguerite de la Rocque Maria Callas Maria Mitchell Maria Montessori (appears 2 times) Maria Reiche Maria Sibylla Merian Maria Tallchief Maria Vieira da Silva Mariah Carey Marian Anderson Marie Antoinette Marie Chauvet Marie Curie (appears 5 times) Marie Duval Marie Mancini Marie Marvingt Marie Tharp Marieke Nijkamp Marina Abramovic Mariya Oktyabrskaya (appears 2 times) Marjana Marlene Sanders Marta Marta Vieira da Silva Martha Gelhorn Martha Graham Mary Anning (appears 5 times) Mary Blair Mary Bowser (appears 3 times) Mary Edwards Walker (appears 2 times) Mary Eliza Mahoney Mary Fields (appears 2 times) Mary Heilmann Mary Jackson (appears 2 times) Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Mary Kingsley Mary Kom Mary Lacy Mary Lillian Ellison Mary Pickford Mary Quant Mary Seacole (appears 3 times) Mary Shelley Mary Wollstonecraft (appears 2 times) Maryam Mirzakhani Mata Hari (appears 3 times) Matilda of Canossa Matilda of Tuscany Matilde Montoya Maud Stevens Wagner Maya Angelou (appears 4 times) Maya Gabeira Maya Lin (appears 2 times) Mazu Meg Medina Megan Shepherd Melba Liston Mercedes de Acosta Merritt Moore Meryl Streep Micaela Bastidas Michaela Deprince Michelle Fierro Michelle Obama (appears 3 times) Mildred Burke Miley Cyrus Millo Castro Zaldarriaga Mina Hubbard Minnie Spotted Wolf Mirabal Sisters (appear 2 times) Miriam Makeba (appears 3 times) Missy Elliot Misty Copeland Mochizuki Chiyome Moll Cutpurse Molly Kelly Molly Williams Moremi Ajasoro Murasaki Shikibu (appears 3 times) Nadia Murad Nadine Gordimer Nakano Takeko Nana Asma'u (appears 2 times) Nancy Rubins Nancy Wake (appears 2 times) Naomi Campbell Naziq al-Abid Neerja Bhanot Nefertiti Nell Gwyn Nellie Bly (appears 8 times) Nettie Stevens (appears 2 times) Nichelle Nichols Nicki Minaj Nicole Richie Nina Simone (appears 2 times) Njinga of Angola Njinga of Ndongo Noor Inayat Khan (appears 3 times) Nora Ephron (appears 3 times) Norma Shearer North West Nuwa Nwanyeruwa (appears 2 times) Nyai Loro Kidul Nzinga Nzinga Mbande Octavia E Butler Odetta Olga of Kiev (appears 2 times) Olivia Benson Olympe de Gouges Oprah Winfrey (appears 5 times) Osh-Tisch Oshun Oya Pancho Barnes Paris Hilton Parvati Patti Smith (appears 2 times) Pauline Bonaparte Pauline Leon Peggy Guggenheim (appears 2 times) Pele Petra "Pedro" Herrera Phillis Wheatley Phoolan Devi Phyllis Diller Phyllis Wheatley Pia Fries Pingyang Policarpa "La Pola" Salavarrieta Policarpa Salavarrieta (appears 2 times) Poly Styrene Poorna Malavath Pope Joan Portia De Rossi and Ellen Degeneres Princess Caraboo Princess Diana Princess Sophia Duleep Singh Psyche Pura Belpre Qiu Jin (appears 3 times) Queen Arawelo Queen Bessie Coleman Queen Lili'uokalani (appears 2 times) Queen Nanny of the Maroons (appears 4 times) Quintreman Sisters Rachel Carson (appears 4 times) Rachel Maddow Raden Ajeng Kartini Ran Rani Chennamma Rani Lakshmibai Rani of Jhansi Raven Wilkinson Rebecca Lee Crumpler Rhiannon Rigoberta Menchu Tum Rihanna Rita Levi Montalcini (appears 2 times) Robina Muqimyar Roni Horn Rosa Luxemburg Rosa Parks (appears 4 times) Rosalind Franklin Rosaly Lopes Rose Fortune Rowan Blanchard Roxolana Ruby Nell Bridges (appears 3 times) Rukmini Devi Arundale Rupaul Ruth Bader Ginsburg (appears 3 times) Ruth Harkness Ruth Westheimer Rywka Lipszyc Sadako Sasaki Sally Ride Samantha Christoforetti Sappho (appears 3 times) Sara Farizan Sara Seager Sarah Breedlove Sarah Charlesworth Sarah Winnemucca Saraswati Sarinya Srisakul Sarojini Naidu Sarvenaz Tash Sayyida al-Hurra (appears 2 times) Sekhmet Selda Bagcan Selena Seondeok of Silla (appears 2 times) Serafina Battaglia Serena Williams (appears 4 times) Shajar al-Durr Shamsia Hassani Sharon Ellis Sheryl Crow Sheryl Sandberg Shirely Chisolm (appears 2 times) Shirley Muldowney Shonda Rhimes (appears 2 times) Simone Biles (appears 2 times) Simone de Beauvoir Simone Veil Sister Corita Kent Sita Sky Brown Sofia Ionescu Sofia Perovskaya Sofka Dolgorouky Sojourner Truth (appears 5 times) Solange Sonia Sotomayor (appears 2 times) Sonita Alizadeh (appears 2 times) Sophia Dorothea Sophia Loren Sophie Blanchard Sophie Scholl (appears 3 times) Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz (appears 2 times) Sorghaghtani Beki Spider Woman Stacey Lee Stagecoach Mary Fields (appears 2 times) Steffi Graf Stephanie Kwolek Stephanie von Hohenlohe Stevie Nicks Subh Susa La Flesche Picotte Susan B. Anthony Susan La Flesche Picotte Sybil Ludington (appears 3 times) Sybilla Masters Sylvia Earle (appears 3 times) Tallulah Bankhead Tamara de Lempicka Tara Tarabai Shinde Tatterhood Taylor Swift Te Puea Herangi (appears 2 times) Temple Grandin (appears 3 times) Teresita Fernandez Mirabal Sisters Muses Night Witches Shaggs Stateless Thea Foss Therese Clerc Tin Hinan Tina Fey (appears 2 times) TLC Tomoe Gozen (appears 2 times) Tomyris (appears 2 times) Tonya Harding Tove Jansson (appears 2 times) Troop 6000 Trung Sisters Trung Trac and Trung Nhi (appear 2 times together) Tyche Tyler Moore Tyra Banks Ulayya bint al-Mahdi Umm Kulthum Ursula K. LeGuin Ursula Nordstrom Valentina Tereshkova (appears 5 times) Valerie Thomas Vanessa Beecroft Venus Williams (appears 2 times) Victoria Beckham Vija Celmins Viola Davis Viola Desmond Violeta Parra Virginia Apgar Virginia Hall Virginia Woolf (appears 3 times) Vita Sackville-West Vivian Maier Wallada bint al-Mustakfi (appears 2 times) Wang Zhenyi (appears 2 times) Wangari Maathai (appears 3 times) Washington State Suffragists Whina Cooper Willow Smith Wilma Mankiller Wilma Rudolph (appears 3 times) Winona Ryder Wislawa Szymborska Wu Mei Wu Zetian (appears 3 times) Xian Zhang Xochiquetzal Xtabay Yaa Asantewaa (appears 3 times) Yael Yani Tseng Yayoi Kusama Yemoja Yennenga Yeonmi Park Ynes Mexia Yoko Ono Yoshiko Kawashima Yuri Kochiyama Yusra Mardini Zabel Yesayan Zaha Hadid (appears 2 times) Zenobia Zoe Kravitz Zora Neale Hurston (appears 2 times)

#publishing #lists #women #ladies #girls #princesses #goddesses #daredevils #adventurers #broads #feminists #heroines #trailblazers

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phoenixtakaramono · 7 years

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Here is the complete list of songs of the personal story playlist that I use for writing inspiration on AO3 (Finders Keepers by PhoenixTakaramono). SUMMARY: By some miraculous twist of fate, Jack stumbles across an Atlas android hidden smack dab in Hyperion headquarters. Obviously, what is he going to do with it? Keep it for himself, of course, because as the saying goes, “Finders keepers, losers weepers.” What he didn’t anticipate was the clusterfuck he’d find himself in, when he discovers the valuable model he’d been hoarding has a hidden backstory. There is more than meets the eye.

1. Bunsen Burner // Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barry

2. Rachel’s Song // Vangelis

3. Emperor’s New Clothes // Panic! At the Disco

4. Something New // Secret Weapons

5. Give Me Something Good // Ryan Adams

6. Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful // Paloma Faith

7. Toes // Glass Animals

8. Space Junk // Wang Chung

9. A Gentle Awakening // JD McPherson

10. Check It Out // Oh the Larceny

11. The Bomb // Pigeon John

12. Breaking Down the Borders // Miracle Of Sound

13. King // ZAYDE WOLF

13A. Bring Out the Bad // RIVVRS

13B. Keeping Me Alive // Johnathan Roy

14. Miracle // The Score

15. Ima Robot // Greenback Boogie

16. Strange Kind of Woman // Deep Purple

17. I Know What I Am // Band of Skulls

18. Come Closer // Miles Kane

19. Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked // Cage the Elephant

20. 2-1 // Imogen Heap

21. God of a Girl // Georgi Kay

22. White Bird // KT Tunstall

23. When the Truth Hunts You Down // Sam Tinnesz

24. Me and Mine // The Brothers Bright

25. Future Starts Slow // The Kills

26. Human // Rag’n’Bone Man

27. Rage and Romance // Bressie

28. Sound of our Hearts // Compact Disco

29. Watch Me // The Phantoms

30. I’m a Wanted Man // Royal Deluxe

31. Black and Gold // Sam Sparro

32. Two Against One // Danger Mouse

32A. Movement // Hozier

33. No Place to Hide // Jace Everett

34. Fire // Delta Rae

35. Hellfire // Barns Courtney

36. Who Did That to You? // John Legend

37. Pork Soda // Glass Animals

38. Fashion // The Royal Concept

39. My Type // Saint Motel

40. Snap Out of It // Arctic Monkeys

41. Cage of Bones // Son Lux

42. Way Down We Go // Kaleo

43. House on a Hill // The Pretty Reckless

44. You Don’t Know Me // Son Lux

45. Daggers & Knives // Woodes

46. Hold On I’m Coming // Welshly Arms

47. Came a Long Way // Heartless Bastards

48. In My Mind // Georgi Kay

49. How Bad We Need Each Other // Marc Scibilia

50. Written in the Water // Gin Wigmore

51. Agnes // Glass Animals

52. Glitter & Gold // Barns Courtney

53. Legendary // Welshly Arms

54. Wicked Ones // Dorothy

55. The Place I Left Behind // The Deep Dark Woods

56. Suit // Boom! Bap! Pow!

57. How I Want Ya // Hudson Thames

58. I’m in Love // Farmdale

59. I Wanna be Yours // Arctic Monkeys

60. Weeds or Wishes // Erin & the Wildfire

61. Afterglow // Troy Baker

62. Seer // Motopony

63. Hollow // Beulah

64. Broken Bones // Kaleo

65. Meet Your Master // Nine Inch Nails

66. Supremacy // Muse

67. Marked Man // Mieka Pauley

68. Sorry I Stole Your Man // Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas

69. Tumbleweeds // Twin Bandit

70. Oh My Love // To Kill a King

71. Into the Jungle // X Ambassadors

72. Ready Set Let’s Go // Sam Tinnesz

73. Highway // Bleeker

74. Pressure and Time // Rival Sons

75. Raise Hell // Dorothy

76. What Makes a Good Man? // The Heavy

77. Put the Gun Down // ZZ Ward

78. Judgement Day // Stealth

79. Coming Down // Halsey

80. (I Just) Died in your Arms // BASTILLE

81. Never Tear Us Apart // Paloma Faith

82. Lay My Body Down // Rag’n’Bone Man

83. Bury Me Face Down // grandson

84. More Than This // Georgi Kay

85. Through the Valley // Shawn James

86. What We Lost in the Fire // Troy Baker

87. Blood on My Name // The Brothers Bright

88. Be Your Own God // Nightmare and the Cat

89. Don’t Mess With Me // Temposhark

90. Hipster Shakes // Black Pistol Fire

91. Angel of Small Death & the Codeine Scene // Hozier

92. To the Top // Twin Shadow

#phoenixtakaramono #tales from the borderlands #rhack #android!rhys #music #handsome jack #playlist #finders keepers #finders keepers playlist #the songs are being arranged on Playmoss #have the list for now #just in case #songs from Playmoss skip #or don't play

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whileiamdying · 5 years

Video

youtube

Watch Erin Rae play "Bad Mind", "Can't Cut Loose" and "Love Like Before" at the Tiny Desk. More from NPR Music: Tiny Desk Concerts: https://www.npr.org/tinydesk Twitter: https://twitter.com/nprmusic Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nprmusic Lars Gotrich | July 12, 2019 -- Every time I've seen Erin Rae live, she transforms her quiet storms into different hues of squalling introspection. Her performance at the Tiny Desk opens with a soft tide of ambient tones — both a way to ease into the song but also understand that life's unease is ever-present. Then a lilting acoustic melody introduces "Bad Mind," a stunning statement of identity from a Nashville singer-songwriter who shares the secrets we keep close. Erin Rae writes songs about letting go of lovers and thoughts that weigh you down, embracing contentment and recognizing the small moments that add up to the grand scheme. But more importantly her songs make you just sit in your thoughts for a tick longer. Putting On Airs, the album Erin Rae released last year, wraps these subtle shifts of folkloric psychedelia in deeply personal songwriting that hits hard two, three listens in. She's joined here by Jerry Bernhardt, a treasured collaborator and a guitarist who knows how to play decorative but unobtrusive figures. He and drummer Dom Billet both appear on Putting On Airs, taking those arrangements and stretching them out at the Tiny Desk with Mellotron/Rhodes piano player Ben Tanner and bassist Joe Garner. Inventive in these altered live versions, this Tiny Desk closes with "the summer jam," as Erin Rae jokingly calls "Love Like Before," offering another opportunity to reflect as you bop: "Been looking for something I can't track down / Love that I knew before." SET LIST "Bad Mind" "Can't Cut Loose" "Love Like Before" MUSICIANS Erin Rae: vocals, guitar; Ben Tanner: Fender Rhodes, Mellotron; Joe Garner: bass; Dom Billett: drums; Jerry Bernhardt: guitar CREDITS Producers: Lars Gotrich, Morgan Noelle Smith; Creative Director: Bob Boilen; Audio Engineers: Patrick Boyd, Josh Rogosin; Videographers: Morgan Noelle Smith, CJ Riculan, Kara Frame, Jeremiah Rhodes; Associate Producer: Bobby Carter; Production Assistant: Paul Georgoulis; Photo: Olivia Falcigno/NPR

#IFTTT #YouTube #NPR #in English

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madfatty · 7 years

Text

the space between - an mmfd fic #22

We find ourselves once again, standing on the front step of 18 Elm Park Road, Stamford, with a six pack of Breezers under our arm and swiping lip gloss from our teeth one last time. This one goes off-script which is not my usual way of doing things at all, but we do end up at the same place eventually, I’ve just chosen an alternate, and some might say arduous, road to get there. I couldn’t sustain the fluff levels of the last one but hopefully you’ll find one or two things to smile at. It’s me though, so you might have to work for them. ;)

I should warn you that my Fizzy love got the better of me and while this is indeed, as they all are and will ever be, about Rae and Finn, this is pretty much a blatant, bold-faced love letter to our Miss Izzy. Chloe however, does not fare as well. I hope you’re okay with that.

I’ve quoted big Willy Shakespeare in this one, again, not my usual way of doing things but, you know, go with it if you can.

The title comes from the Dave Matthews Band song of the same name from the Everyday album. I think I may have used it before for something I wrote in a different fandom, proving that my laziness goes to the bone.

Once again and always, big massive ugly love to @how-ardently because she deserves it, and after my behaviour on this one, wads of stress money, quite frankly. Writing this has revealed to me something about myself that Erin must have known for ages now; I’m a huge drama queen. I have apologised profusely. How on earth do people write whole books?

Anyway, onwards and inwards (that one’s from the skinny one who plays Marnie in Girls.) Thanks for playing.

the space between

The pervading ooze of over-excited teenagers, spliff, nicotine and booze hangs in a dense low cloud just below the ceiling of all the downstairs rooms, lingers at the bottom of the stairs. It’s so thick she can taste it. She doesn’t know if it’s made its way upstairs but she can wait to find out. She can’t go back up there. Too afraid of who and what she’ll find. Embarrassed and confused, she couldn’t bring herself to go back to her room with all the others in there, scared they’d take the piss; her and Finn, what a joke. So she’d spent the rest of the night wandering aimlessly from room to room, a ghost at the feast. Everywhere there are groups of people she’s never met before, laughing and talking and totally unaware of her existence. It may be her house, but she feels like the intruder.

Even with her friends, she feels separate and strange. Something’s got hold of her tonight, something worrying and familiar and she can’t get past it. Danny’s in the dining room, chatting up Anna and making friends. Archie’s in the front room with Barney and Lizard. Archie’s been a bit besotted since Barney kissed him and they’ve been circling one another, using Lizard as a buffer. Still, Archie looks hopeful. Chop’s been pretty quiet since Izzy kissed him, he hasn’t really spoken to anyone for a while, and now he’s lying in front of the sideboard wrapped in Christmas lights, staring soulfully into space.

She’s not seen Izzy. Or Chloe. Or Finn. Maybe they’re upstairs. Maybe they’ve gone home. She hopes so.

Her act of teenage rebellion has worn her out. It’s late and there are too many people left in her tiny house. She has an overwhelming urge to stand at the front door and call “Time please,” and have them all shuffle out in a quiet and orderly line. Instead she resentfully gathers up all the glasses she can find and heads to the kitchen.

She needs tea and for everyone else to go home. She just wants her house back. She moves about the kitchen mechanically, filling the kettle and then the sink, dumping the dirty glasses into the steaming hot water. She rummages around in the back of the cupboard, pulling her favourite mug from its hiding place and settling in to wait for the kettle to boil.

She catches herself rearranging the fixings - tea, sugar, milk, spoon – in order of size, of application, of expiration date over and over on the worktop. She makes herself look out the window – are they… are those people fucking in her driveway? That’s all she needs, Mrs Dewhurst running over with a bucket of cold water and a policeman by the scruff of the neck with a full written report back to her mother about debauched goings-on in her absence.

She breathes deeply and lowers her hands into the scalding hot water, hissing in satisfaction and relief.

+++++

She hadn’t meant to, but with too many Breezers in her system and all the crying she’d done with Finn and the eternal frustration that was Chop, Izzy had passed out. Spin the bottle had been a complete waste of time, it hadn’t landed on her once and she didn’t want to think about what it meant that Chop was doing the spinning. Even at the end, when he’d finally kissed her and she showed him up, like he’d done to her at Rutlands, she hadn’t felt vindicated. She just felt lonely and confused. The sourness of the whole evening sits like acid in her belly.

She comes awake slowly, to some kind of noise. Her eyes are gummed shut and her tongue is thick with the sugar from the alcopops but there is definitely a noise. Her first thought is that Finn is crying again. He’d moved to the floor from the bed and fallen asleep on the beanbag. Izzy croaks his name. The noise gets louder; it’s wet and breathy, there’s a groan and it’s making her uncomfortable. Izzy finally prises her eyes open and she squints into the gloom.

The curtains are open and the combination of moonlight and streetlight lend themselves to Izzy being able to make him out lying not far from the edge of the bed. Finn’s shadow looks bigger than it should be. She calls again and she notices the shadow’s moving. There’s a girl, snaked around him, pinning him down. She’s got a handful of his hair, holding him still, her jaw working at his throat. His fingers are flexing at her hip, hitching her dress up high enough to reveal a skimpy pair of knickers. Izzy recognises the dress, if not the knickers.

She watches, horrified, as Chloe trails her other hand over the bare skin of his ribs down to boldly squeeze his cock over his jeans. Finn groans again.

“Oi! I’m in the bloody room, if you don’t mind!” Izzy yells and reaches to switch on the bedside lamp. Her voice sounds excessively loud in the dark and all three of them wince against the volume and the sudden brightness of the light. She’s even less happy now she can see them.

Finn’s discarded t shirt is pooled in a ball on the floor. His lips are swollen and Chloe’s mascara has smudged, the zipper of her dress is open all the way down to her navel. Finn tries to pull the edges of the dress closed before doing up his own fly. There’s no hiding the fact he’s hard.

“Sorry, Iz.” Finn mumbles into his lap. Embarrassed, he sits up quickly, having to push Chloe off of him to do so. Chloe rolls away, pissed off.

“I should bloody think so.”

He looks guiltily at Chloe and regretfully at Izzy. “Yeah. I’m gonna go…”

“Good idea,” Izzy grumps and watches him as he hastily heads for the door, hands over his crotch, his shirt forgotten. She turns her steely gaze on Chloe when he’s gone.

Chloe lounges back on her elbows, looking defiant and unrepentant. “Ta very much for that, Izzy. What do you think you were you playing at?”

“What was I playing at?”

“Finn’s a big boy Iz; he can do what he wants.”

“What he wants Chlo, or what you want?”

Chloe doesn’t answer. With a shimmy of her hips, she pulls her dress down to its proper length, such as it is, and pulls the zipper back up almost to where it started out the night. With a roll of her eyes she picks up Finn’s discarded t shirt and follows him out the door.

++++

She’s focused on the hypnotic slow-building bubble and hiss of the kettle working its way to the boil, so Rae doesn’t hear him coming.

“Hey,” he says to her back and his voice makes her jump, brings her back into the room where the radio’s on low and the sink is only half full. She recovers quickly though, and without looking up from her reddened hands she offers him a quiet “hey.”

She wants to look up. She wants to smile widely at him and ask about his night but she can’t. She regrets listening to Danny at all, because, surely there comes a point where the person you’re pushing away gets fed up and moves on?

And it is so hard to maintain. What is so bad about smiling when he smiles? It’s not an admission of anything deeper if she’s nice to him, she doesn’t lose anything by being kind. So she resolves to be both those things, promises herself to be friendlier - until she sees him or hears his voice, there’s a visceral, kneejerk response, overriding her heart and her head and all her good intentions. All her resolutions dissolve and she’s back to spiteful and ungracious. She doesn’t know if it’s still Danny’s voice she can hear or her own fear that’s driving it. No matter how much she wants to let all the bullshit go, she can’t bring herself to just let it be and let it happen. As in all things, she is her own worst enemy.

She keeps her eyes lowered as she feels him walking up behind her. She hears him pick up one of the glasses she must have washed from the draining board. He crowds her, his bare arm cutting across her vision as he reaches for the tap and her reaction is to shy away from him. She closes her eyes and counts under her breath to the sound of the sudden rush of running water filling the glass.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice becoming an echo as he takes a mouthful. It’s a harmless, silly question that shouldn’t bother her but it’s exactly the sort of thing that feeds her anger.

“Retiling the bathroom, obviously,” she spits, violently rolling her eyes.

“You don’t need to do that now. We’re going to clean up in the morning.”

“Oh, I hadn’t realised you were in charge.”

“We all decided last night that we’re staying, we wouldn’t leave you to clear up on your own. You’d have known that if you’d stuck around a little longer.” He mumbles into the rim of the glass as he takes another sip. He doesn’t bother to hide the bitter edge to his voice. So, he’s still pissed at her. She can’t really blame him, she supposes, but fuck if it doesn’t get her back up.

“No-one asked for your help, Finn. I can manage on my own.” She huffs, unable to stop herself.

“Jesus, Rae. I apologised for being a dick. I’m trying really hard, but every little thing still gets turned into an argument. Why is it still like this? Tell me how to fix it.” There’s something sitting along-side the usual annoyed tone he uses when he speaks to her. It’s that same slightly bewildered, slightly hurt voice he’d used in the cupboard earlier. The one that had her doubting the wisdom of heeding Danny’s dating advice, the one that made her momentarily brave enough to hazard a tentative statement of her own.

It’s the one that makes her soften now. What real harm can it do to be gentler with him?

Rae finally turns to face him, trying to fasten a smile to her lips, something warmer than she’s ever shown him before. He’s not his usual immaculately turned-out self. In fact, he’s decidedly rumpled. His overly fussed-over hair is sticking out at the back. He’s red eyed and red nosed and quiet. There’s an angry bruise beginning to purple the tender skin of his throat and a flaking smear of lip gloss rings his mouth and his normally pale skin is flushed; his face, his neck his chest, his… oh.

He’s not wearing a shirt.

He’s been fucking someone.

In her house.

Someone that isn’t her.

Fuck Danny Two Hats and his stupid advice and fuck her for ever listening to him. And double fuck Finn Nelson for fucking someone who isn’t her in her own house and flaunting it under her nose. She’s a little heartbroken and more than a little pissed off. She pushes down the heartbreak and focuses on the anger.

“Vampires, was it? Lose your shirt in the scuffle?” In her house. Which vampire? She can’t let herself think about it now. She can torture herself with those thoughts later. She needs for him to leave.

“What?”

She waves her hand in the general vicinity of his throat. He pokes experimentally at his neck and winces when he grazes over the bruise. He has the good grace to look embarrassed.

“Put a shirt on, would you? You’ll have someone’s eye out.” She barks and he immediately folds his arms self-consciously. It only serves to piss her off more. He’s obviously not shy if he’s going to fuck someone who isn’t her in her house. What on earth has he got to be bashful about?

“You can talk.” he mumbles. Even before he’s finished speaking, his eyes and mouth go wide, gaping, his face is incandescent.

They’re talking about bodies. Rae doesn’t talk about bodies, especially her own. She feels that if she doesn’t draw attention to it, then maybe no one will notice she has one. Rae’s own blush seeps into her hairline. She tries to turn it back around on him.

“I’m not the one who’s half naked.”

“Like that would matter.” He thinks he must be having an aneurysm. Where is this shit coming from? He’s spent most of his life like Silent Sam, couldn’t offer most people a complete sentence if they threatened him at gunpoint and now it seems he’s got lots to say about Rae’s tits. It’s like he can’t help himself. “I… I…” he stammers.

“Seriously, put your nipples away. And wipe your face.” She throws the tea towel that’s draped over her shoulder at him. He snatches it up quickly and ties it round his neck so it hangs like a bib down the front of him, swiping at his face with the bottom of it. He looks ridiculous. He looks like a confused little kid, trying to play at superheroes but not quite sure how the costume’s meant to go. It doesn’t help that there’s a cartoon giraffe eating cake with a monkey on it either.

“Thanks,” He smiles up at her. It’s small and grateful and she marvels at how easily he lets go of the anger. How eager he is for everything to be okay.

“Can I have one of those?” he asks, pointing at the forgotten tea things on the worktop. Just a second ago, she wasn’t anywhere near finished being angry with him, but she’s hit by a sudden wave of fatigue and just like that, she decides to let it go. She does, however, make a very big show of being put upon as she flicks the kettle back on and gets out another mug.

They are a collection of nervous tics in the silence that follows; a therapist’s wet dream. Both of them a compilation of biting cuticles, tapping fingers and tuneless humming. There are furtive looks at each other and much fidgeting with clothing. She’s anchored herself to the sink with a death grip. He’s hovering at a radius of four feet. It makes her feel claustrophobic.

“No point standing around.” She says finally. A little too loud. “You may as well sit.” She gestures to the breakfast bar at the other end of the kitchen.

“Are you going to…?”

“I have to be hostess…” she waves her hand at the kettle.

“Then it’s okay. I’m good here.” He says and leans back against the counter, randomly picks up the teaspoon from the bench. “Good party?” He asks, fiddling with the spoon.

“The house is still standing and no one called the cops so… I guess not.” It’s more a smirk than a smile, but it’s better than nothing.

“Did I hear right, that those three twats turned up?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“From Friday.”

Friday. She’d wanted to forget all about last Friday. Her tantrum and the dragging ache in her belly and the tidal wave of blood in her knickers and those fuckers catching her outside the chippy, but if she erased all that, she’d have to forget about how Finn had stepped in and stopped it and that was something she would never forget. She’d never seen anyone so angry. She watched the internal battle, the deliberate way he calmed himself. Watched the anger drain from his face, his body still tense, his fists still clenched but his voice almost normal when he asked if she was alright.

“Oh. Yeah.” she mutters. “Those guys.”

“Why didn’t you come get me?” he murmurs, and the hurt on his face stops her short. It feels like an accusation. The truth was he hadn’t even been one of her first ten thoughts. She was frozen in the moment and couldn’t think past getting them away from the house.

“There was no need. Danny had it sorted.” She finally stumbles out.

“Danny?”

“Yeah, Danny.”

“Oh. Right.” There’s an awkward moment of silence that follows, where he looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how to start. There have been a lot of moments like that lately and he’s never once said anything, so she’s not really expecting it when he does. “Rae, about last Friday…”

There’s a hollowness shading his big dark eyes and the set of his full wide mouth.

“What about it?” – please don’t ask me what they were saying please don’t ask me why I didn’t stand up for myself please please please.

She knew he’d heard them, he must have.

She’d been so careful to keep it all separate, the constant exhausting battle to hide her real life from her new friends, but now he’d seen it first-hand. She was able to pretend that it didn’t exist in front of the gang. If she was loud enough, if she was funny enough, she could distract them from the truth. She could hide the way she looked if she could hide the way other people treated her, but now he’d heard the ugly words used to describe her and now the ugly thoughts would fill his head; the blinders had come off and he would see her the way the rest of the world did and it would only be a matter of time until he let the others know. How could he not see her through their eyes now that the spell had been broken?

But then he’d done something so totally unexpected; he came to her rescue.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that. I don’t want you to think that I’m like that all the time. It’s just, I couldn’t let them… it weren’t right. I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

It had been a long time since he’d hit anyone. He’d come to learn, thanks to his dad and old George down at the gym that fighting was not the way to solve his problems. But when he’d seen her cornered by those bastards, he couldn’t help it. The look on her face had unsettled him. She’d been full of fire in the chippy, fierce and afraid of no one. She’d been something to behold, and then…

He hadn’t understood fully at the time what it meant, he only knew that whatever it was that had done that to her, he wanted to hurt it.

“You didn’t frighten me. Like I said, no one’s ever stood up for me before. I was surprised is all, that it was you.” Rae whispers.

He relaxes a little at that. Some of the tension visibly drops from his shoulders.

“Look,” he starts. His voice is low, and he has her full attention. “What you said in the cupboard, I don’t know what I’ve done… but we are friends, Rae. Well, I’m your friend. I’m always gonna stick up for you.”

It startles her when he pushes off from the counter, straight for her, and she steps aside hurriedly. He drops his empty glass into the cooling washing up water. “Now that you’ve got your head out of your arse. Mostly.” He murmurs over his shoulder as he returns to his spot leaning back against worktop.

Rae blinks rapidly, working her way through what he’s just said, then chokes back a laugh.

“Excuse me?” She reaches forward and flicks at his makeshift backwards cape. “You and your novelty tea towel can fuck off any time you like.” The fact that she’s smiling is a huge relief to him.

“Can’t. I’ve got tea coming.” He says, grinning madly. “Okay, so maybe I had my head up my arse a little bit too. Can we call a truce? Please?”

“Do I have to be nice to you?”

“Well,” he draws the word out. “Some of the time, at least. Birthdays and Christmas. ”

She screws her face up in pained deliberation and he takes great delight in mirroring her expression. “I guess so.” She says dryly.

He looks way too pleased with himself.

“Rae…” Finn starts, his smile beginning to wane.The kettle whistles for a second time.

Before he can finish the thought, Chloe emerges from the hallway. Rae feels every inch of the night hang heavy on her, stale and lank and grimy and Chloe steps into the light like she should be giving lessons in how to be a girl.

The second skin of her yellow dress hugs her gently around her hips, skims the flatness of her belly, and the smooth arc of her arse, its hem hitting her mid-thigh, highlighting the long expanse of well-toned, leg. Her zipper has artfully slipped to reveal the lace edge of her bra and curve of her breasts sitting high and firm above it. Her hair shimmers in the harsh light as does the perfectly applied lip gloss that matches the shade that still clings to the corners of Finn’s mouth.

Oh.

Rae feels all the air leave her body. Chloe arranges herself at Finn’s side, her hip jutting into his. He tenses and slides along the counter away from her, towards Rae who takes a step back herself. She pours all her attention into pouring tea.

“So this is where you got to. You forgot your shirt.” The shirt hangs from Chloe’s fingers between them like a challenge. “Though this is cute,” she smirks, her fingers tapping on his chest, “you should probably put it on,” she stage-whispers, her eyes raking over him appreciatively. “Rae’s not used to half-naked men, are you babe?”

“Thanks,” he mutters, taking the shirt and hastily slipping it over his head. He pulls the tea towel out from under it and twists it between nervous hands.

“We’re talking. Rae and me. Rae’s making tea.” He murmurs, deliberately moving away from the spot Chloe seems keen to pin him to. He remembers the spoon he’s been fidgeting with and offers it to Rae with a broad smile, an act of solidarity between them.

“Tea and a chat. Not exactly E’s and Whizz now, is it? I think it’s safe to say, our Rae’s no party girl.” Chloe turns to offer Rae a half smile. “God, you look done in, babe. Do you feel alright?”

With just a handful of words, Chloe reminds Rae of her place. All tonight’s anxieties are amplified. Deflated, Rae leaves the tea half done and moves towards the door.

“Actually Chlo, I’m not feeling the best. I’m going to turn in. You’re right to finish this, yeah Finn? Night.”

“Night babe,” Chloe purrs.

“Rae.” Finn calls after her.

“Night.” She calls back as she trudges through the toxic teenage haze on her way upstairs.

+++

She thought she wanted to be alone but when she’s sees Izzy lying on the bed, flicking through one of her romance novels, she’s glad for the company. Izzy looks up and smiles that warm Izzy smile and waves the book in front of her.

“This is well hot. Can I borrow it?” and she carefully dog-ears the page she was reading and sits up, putting the book aside. “So how are you gorgeous? How’s your night been?”

Difficult. Anxious. Disappointing. The boy I like likes someone else and I’m tired and sad. She doesn’t say any of it. What purpose would it serve? Instead, she takes a deep breath and slips on the mask for one more performance.

“It’s definitely been a night.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “You should see the mess downstairs. I’m not looking forward to that.”

“There’s plenty of time tomorrow. We’ll give you a hand, it’s already arranged…” Izzy chirps, waving her hand dismissively.

“So Finn said. That’s really nice of you all.”

“Pfft, nice. Of course we’re going to help. It’s what mates do.” Izzy shifts along the bed to make room for Rae.

“And what about you, Madam? How’d you fare?”

“I could use a cuddle,” Izzy whines, throwing her arms wide. “Know where I can get one?”

“I just might know someone.” Rae grins as she sits down next to Izzy and pulls her into a hug. “This isn’t ‘cause that book’s got you all revved up, is it?” she deadpans, pulling away to look Izzy in the face.

“You wish.”

“Pity,” Rae sighs, and they collapse against each other in a fit of giggles.

“You know what I really need? I need to play with someone’s hair. Lie down here for me Rae.” Izzy orders, patting her outstretched legs.

“Nah, thanks Izzy, I’m good.” It’s not an easy thing for Rae, to be touched. For such a long time it was a cruel thing, so she learned to avoid it. And now to be touched with such care, and so often, by these people who have taken her in is overwhelming. She can only handle it in small doses.

“Don’t ‘nah, Izzy’ me, Rae Earl. I’m a guest, you can’t say no to me.”

“Are you sure that book didn’t give you any ideas?”

“Oh, shut up and lie down.” Izzy bosses, as she takes Rae by the shoulders and guides her down to settle in her lap.

“You know if this gets pervy, Chop’ll want to watch.” Her joke earns her a light smack on the arm and a small huff of laughter that doesn’t go all the way to Izzy’s eyes. Rae can’t help think of Chop in his deep meditative state downstairs.

All Rae’s worries about crushing the tiny redhead vanish when Izzy’s slight fingers card slowly through her hair. Her muscles loosen and the anxiety falls away under Izzy’s soothing touch. It feels good. Rae remembers a better time, when she was little and her mum would hold her in her lap and stroke her hair. There’s a sudden pang in her chest and however pissed off she is with her for lying about her dad, she misses her mum.

“You have such pretty hair, Rae.” Izzy murmurs, wistfully. She seems to be enjoying the process almost as much as Rae, but there’s a far off look in her eyes, a soft melancholy that flattens her usual shine.

You sure you’re okay, Iz?” Rae rolls forward and props herself up on her elbows so she can look Izzy in the eye.

“Hmmm? Yeah. Just thinking about stuff.” She curls her palm around Rae’s shoulder. “Did Finn tell you? His Nan died.”

“What? No. He never said a word.”

“She’d been sick for a while. Finn and Mr Nelson were convinced she’d get better, she had before, so they just thought… but she took a turn for the worse tonight and like that, she was gone.” Izzy’s voice is thick with unshed tears. “It was very fast in the end but he feels bad he wasn’t there.” She swallows hard and sniffles.

“It was awful. I wanted to take him home but his dad was stuck at the hospital and Finn didn’t want to be by himself. I told him I’d stay with him but he didn’t want to go. I hope you don’t mind, we grabbed some beers and came up here to hide out. He was so sad. We cried for a bit and then we both got a little drunk and we cried some more, then I put him to bed and we fell asleep.”

“Poor Finn.” Rae says, her own eyes wet. He’s been going through all that, probably for as long as she’s known him and she’d been too caught up in her own stupid feelings to notice.

“When I woke up, Chloe was all over him.” Izzy says it quietly, but the sadness in her tone is replaced with steel.

“Izzy!”

“It’s true, Rae.”

“That doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t be telling me this. It’s none of my business.” If she were a better person, her reasons for not wanting to know what happened would be because it was none of her business but that’s not the reason and it’s one more thing she can torture herself with later.

“But it does. He’s her friend and she… it’s not right.”

“If it’s what they want…” It’s not how she really feels though. She feels sick. Yet again she loses out to Chloe and it just isn’t fair. Is there nothing that Rae wants that Chloe can’t have?

“That’s the thing, Rae. It’s not. Everyone knows that Finn…” Izzy stops abruptly, as if she’s said too much.

“Everyone knows that Finn what? I know fuck-all about Finn, other than he’d rather I wasn’t around.”

Rae knows that’s bullshit even before she’s finished saying it. It might have been true at one point in the very beginning, but not now. He keeps talking about them being friends and he must mean it if he keeps saying it. But, it was hard enough when she’d decided she’d like more than that, and now she knows that he’s been with Chloe, that he wants Chloe, she can’t stop the negative thoughts. If he and Chloe are going to be together then it might be easier if they weren’t friends. Rae doesn’t think she has that much pretend left in her.

“Don’t be thick, Rae. It really doesn’t suit you.” There’s a tick of annoyance in Izzy’s tone that she quickly reins in. She takes a breath. “Look, he’s sad and his heart hurts and he’s drunk and she took advantage. I’m just looking after him, like he would me.” She pulls Rae back down into her lap and continues to brush her fingers through her hair.

“He’s such a good person Rae. He’s kind and he’s sweet and he cares. I know you two got off on the wrong foot but he’s lovely Rae, if you’ll just give him the chance.”

“The two of you are close, I get that Iz, but it’s not the same thing for him and me. I don’t think it could be.” Rae protests gently.

“I admit he’s said some daft boy things and I’ve wanted to clip him ‘round the earhole a couple of times myself, but I think it’s just because you rattle him. He always talks about you. How funny you are, how clever. He’s always repeating stuff you say, and I’m like “Yeah Finn, I know, I was there.” Izzy laughs softly.

She’s still smiling when she shares this next bit of information, “Archie and I have got this bet going. Every time Finn starts a sentence with “Rae says,” or “Rae thinks,” Archie owes me 10p. I haven’t paid for a drink in the Swan for weeks now!”

Dear, sweet, misguided, got-the-wrong-end-of-the-stick Izzy, looking at life through her rose-tinted granny glasses and seeing nothing but sunshine and rainbows and feelings where there are none. Rae’s about to tell Izzy that she’s lovely but obviously delusional when there’s a tapping at the door. Finn’s head pokes sheepishly around the edge of it.

“Hiya,” he mumbles.

“Look Rae. Look who it is. It’s the lovely Finn. Hello lovely Finn, come sit with us.” Izzy beams, her fingers stilling in Rae’s hair. Rae sits up, reluctant to lose contact with Izzy’s comforting touch.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Never,” Izzy pats the bed next to her. “The more, the merrier,” He hesitates at the door, warily eyeing Rae. “Come on, come here. We’ve saved you a spot.”

“Are you sure? Are you feeling better, Rae?” Rae gives him a shy, short nod and a weak smile. It’s all the encouragement he needs and he crosses the room, to ease into Izzy’s side. They bob like boats on the shoreline, trying to get comfortable. Finn fusses with the neckline of his t shirt, tugging at it self-consciously in an attempt to hide the bruise on his neck. Izzy gently pulls his hand away, squeezes his fingers reassuringly.

“I’m sorry about before Iz, I didn’t…” he whispers, the puff of his breath a tickle in her ear.

She turns her face towards him with a finger to her lips, her eyes soft and forgiving. “Shh, quiet now. We’re having a moment.”

The three of them sit against the wall, a tryptic of teenage angst; interlocking pieces of the same beast. Finn’s head on Izzy’s shoulder, hers resting on top of his. Izzy’s arm slung possessively around Rae, Rae coiled tight into Izzy’s side.

“This is so lovely. Cuddling with two of my favourite people in the whole world.”

“Ha! Everyone’s your favourite.” Finn scoffs quietly.

“I don’t have that many! But the ranking changes with my mood, so watch it you or you’ll drop right out of the top five.”

“Who are you kidding? I’ll always be your number one.” Finn tickles her and Izzy giggles and there’s a sort of contained rolling about, save for the flailing arms, and Rae wriggles out of harm’s way. It continues until Izzy squeals a fervent ‘stop’ and he does. Its clear Izzy has him wrapped around her little finger and he’s more than happy to be there. They collapse into each other, breathless. It’s nice to watch him be light and playful with Izzy. Rae’s never seen that side of him before. The sweetness. She doesn’t hesitate to re-join them when Izzy pulls her back into their little pile without a word.

“So much for my moment,” Izzy groans. “Okay you two, let me up,” unravelling herself from their tangle of limbs, she scoots to the edge of the bed. “I better go check that awful boy hasn’t set fire to anything downstairs.”

“I should probably come with you…” Rae sighs.

“No. Stay. I can handle Chop. Besides, I need to talk to Chloe.” She stands, but before she can get too far, Finn moves forward, catching her hand and pulling her back.

“Fairy…” the word gets stuck in his throat and he hugs her tightly.

”Hey, it’s what we do, yeah?” Izzy’s arms fall easily around his shoulders. They nestle together for a moment, everyone else forgotten. Izzy has to peel him off her before she can leave the room. “Now, play nice.” She commands as she shuts the door behind her and just like that, they’re alone.

“Little Miss Fix-it.” Rae grins, nodding at the closed bedroom door.

“Bossy little thing, you mean.” Finn counters. “I do love her a lot, though.”

“And why wouldn’t you? She’s fucking amazing.”

“She really is.” He affirms softly. “She takes care of me.”

“She said the same about you.”

“Well, we’re friends. It’s what you do.” He looks up from his hands and shrugs, giving her a rueful smile. It seems to Rae that what Finn and Izzy share goes beyond any friendship Rae’s experienced. The twist of longing is sharp and quick.

“She said that too.”

“That’s because she steals all my best lines.” This smile is looser, more relaxed.

“Can I ask you something? Does she ever ask to play with your hair?”

“Why? What did she tell you?” He shifts uncomfortably, his eyes narrowed.

“Nothing. It’s just… she was pretty insistent. I wouldn’t want to cross her.” She looks at him conspiratorially. Smiling at him is getting easier.

“I’ve found life is much simpler if I pick my battles. Though she be but little, she is fierce.” Rae’s jaw drops and he can’t help but chuckle. “A little less shock please, if you don’t mind, Mae. You’re not the only one who’s ever cracked a book, you know.”

“Wow. Such hidden depths. I’m well impressed.” And there it is, a proper Rae-smile. He’d seen them before, but he’s never had one directed at him until now. Sometimes, when she’d let go and forgotten she didn’t like him that much, she’d let that wide lipped grin fall on him too, just for a moment, before she remembered who he was and shut it off. Now he’s got one all of his own.

“Relax brainbox, your crown is safe. I got miles to go before I catch up to you.” They laugh quietly together and the next silence is a little easier too.

She turns to look at him, a thought suddenly forming. “Is that why you call her fairy?”

“It started out as Titania, ’cause of the red hair and because she’s so tiny, but I had to stop when Chop kept shortening it to ‘Tits’.” Rae sputters and her eyes go wide. “I used to get a slap every time he said it. ME, not him. ‘That��s your fault, Finn Nelson.’” He mimics Izzy’s cranky voice. “Wasn’t fair.” The more Rae laughs the more animated Finn gets. “Fucking Chop. He’s got no clue about women.”

“He really hasn’t, has he? Poor Izzy.” They share a nod and a knowing look. Finn’s hand goes to his mouth unconsciously, and worries at his thumb. In the quiet that follows, his thoughts turn back to the night. All he’d really wanted was to forget about what was happening with his Nan and to make things up with Rae, but she’d been her normal prickly self and he’d had to get away. He regrets what happened with Chloe; too eager to feel something other than hurt, he’d reached out for something he didn’t want. There’s a sudden wave of guilt at his selfishness, he’s convinced because of it, he’s lost his grandmother. “Finn, Izzy told me about your Nan. I’m so sorry.” Rae’s voice pulls him from his thoughts.

“Thanks.” he says softly.

“Why didn’t you say something downstairs?”

“I was going to. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters. I’m so, so sorry Finn.” Instinctively, she reaches across the gap between them, stopping short of touching him. She doesn’t know if he’d want that. She’d given him such a hard time; when she thinks about her behaviour she’s mortified by how self-absorbed she really is. Why would anyone want her as a friend?

“Izzy was here.” He shrugs.

“She said you didn’t want to go home.” Rae shifts around to face him and their knees bump momentarily while she adjusts herself on the bed. Finn’s hand drops to rest on his knee, the skin around his thumbnail, red and bleeding.

“Dad was at the hospital with my Uncle Tony. Paperwork, arrangements… something. I should be with him I know, but I just can’t.” He looks up at her then, pale and lost, searching her face for a sign that he’s safe. The next words pour out of him fast and low “I… I don’t want to, I’m not ready, but I don’t want to be on my own. That’s horrible, isn’t it? I’m a horrible, selfish fuck.”

“Oh Finn, no. You’re not horrible and it’s not selfish.” She can’t help but cover his hand with her own now as she tries to reassure him. “You need to look after yourself so you can look after your dad. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. You’re welcome to stay here if you want.”

“I’d like that, Rae. Thanks.”

++++

She’s not asleep; her head is too all over the place. Her mum has been pretending to be her dad for years, she’s got a house full of strangers at a completely non-sanctioned sexy-party and Danny’d shown up, AWOL from the hospital, with tall tales of unbridled sexual abandon and pissing out her bathroom window. Now she’s lying in bed with the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen. As weird nights go, this will take some beating, and she’s been sectioned for almost killing herself. Accidentally.

He hadn’t wanted Rae to leave when she’d insisted that he get some sleep. Made her promise to stay right where she was, while he went and collected his sleeping bag from downstairs and hers from the airing cupboard and set them up on Rae’s bed. She said she’d sleep on the beanbag but he was adamant she didn’t.

She’d worried that they wouldn’t fit and he’d said nonsense, as he pressed himself further against the wall and waved his hand over the empty space beside him, look, plenty of room and he smiled up at her, and she couldn’t help it, she smiled back. Turned out there was plenty of room.

He’d talked all about his Nan and his dad, but balked at giving away too much information about his mum. Just that she’d left when he was small and he didn’t see her anymore. Rae didn’t push.

She told him about her mum and her illegal immigrant boyfriend being on the run in Tunisia and the crazy topless neighbour lady across the road, but mostly she just let him talk. Then she let him cry and when he’d finished crying, she let him hold her hand. Now he’s finally asleep, curled up on his side, snuffling gently into her hair, his lips just an inch from her skin. She could, if she wanted to, just lean over, just a smidge, and he’d be kissing her, but she doesn’t. If he’s ever going to kiss her, she wants it to be because he wants to.

She’s not asleep, but she pretends to be when Chloe sticks her head around the door and watches them for a long time.

#mmfd fic #madfatty spouts off #the space between #22 #i made this #writing

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