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houseofzoey · 2 months

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What might a better version of this series look like? I don't think it needs to be 12 books long - not even close. I think, if we were to tighten things up, the series could look something like this:

Book 1:

This is essentially Marked, Betrayed, and Chosen condensed together.

The first act is Zoey being Marked, arriving at the HoN, meeting all the important players, and starting to see the core pieces of the plot: Aphrodite's corruption as leader of the DD, Neferet hiding something, undead fledgling sightings, and trying to date two guys at once without them finding out (Loren can be completely omitted).

The middle chunk of the book would be Zoey navigating the discovery of her affinities, trying to oust Aphrodite from the DD, and Stevie Rae's sudden death. When Aphrodite has a vision implicating Neferet, Neferet declares her visions false and plays at the idea that she has been listening to Zoey's accusations all along, even though she plainly hasn't. Aphrodite reluctantly turns to Zoey, since her vision involved Neferet resurrecting Stevie Rae. Her description of undead Stevie Rae matches the other undead sightings Zoey has experienced, and the two realize that no one else will believe them unless they find proof.

When Heath gets taken, Zoey is able to trace him through their Imprint, leads her friends to where the undead fledglings are hiding without explaining what they're doing, and realizes too late that a bunch of lies and secrets are about to converge in a way that looks bad on her: cheating on her boyfriends, not disclosing the sightings of undead fledglings, secretly working with Aphrodite after ousting her, and knowing Stevie Rae is alive. They're able to heal Stevie Rae through circle magic and a (willing, intentional) sacrifice from Aphrodite, but Zoey loses both her boyfriends and the trust of all but Aphrodite and Stevie Rae in the process.

Book 2

A condensed version of Untamed and Hunted.

Zoey actually works to make reparations with her friends. Trust and honesty would be a throughline in the book.

She meets Stark, knows him for a few days, and part of the reason she becomes so attached to him so quickly is because she's lonely after losing her boyfriends and the trust of her friends. This is compounded by Aphrodite not being campus after losing her Marks and Stevie Rae not being on campus because she's still supposed to be dead and they don't want Neferet finding out what they did. This closeness makes it actually devastating when dies.

The ravens on campus are becoming increasingly volatile and vocal, Aphrodite has her vision, they learn who Kalona is and that he's on the path to being freed. (I would argue that Kalona and his attachment to ravens could be maintained, but there's no need to root it in bastardized Cherokee mythology and history. Like, just change his name.) There could also be something about the ritual to free him almost failing because Stevie Rae is herself again and refuses to obey Neferet, but Stark's magical aim means she can't actually hide or flee.

When Kalona is freed, Zoey and co. flee to safety in the tunnels where they recently found Stevie Rae. Zoey brings Heath with them because, boyfriend or not, she can't risk him getting hurt. However, their stay is brief, as Zoey realizes that they abandoned everyone else on campus to endure whatever hell awaits them. Zoey returns to campus of her own volition and works to save Stark like she saved Stevie Rae, and to banish Kalona and Neferet. Her determination to protect others at her own risk is what finally wins her friends completely back to her side.

When Neferet commands Stark to shoot Zoey's heart, he non-lethally shoots Heath. Though the wound is not immediately deadly, he is still bleeding heavily, and they can't reach the hospital because of the ice storm, so Zoey closes the wound with her saliva. That small taste of his blood reforms their Imprint.

Book 3

A condensed version of Tempted and Burned.

Zoey learns that Neferet had already been speaking of heading to Capri before she was banished, so she and several members of her circle head there in hopes of preventing her from swaying the High Council. Stevie Rae goes with them in this version, and Kalona has summoned some of his strongest Raven Mockers to his side in secret, including Rephaim.

Stark doesn't want Zoey to leave and tries to swear an Oath to her, but she doesn't immediately accept it because she's still torn about him shooting Heath even if it was to save her, plus her reformed Imprint makes her feel like she shouldn't entertain anymore intense, magical bonds with other guys right now. She has learned her lesson about cheating. Seeing two people at once is a serious commitment that needs to be considered and talked out carefully, which they don't have time for. Stark instead swears to wait for her as long as she needs, a binding oath in its own right because of the intent behind it.

Heath goes with Zoey because their Imprint means both will experience intense emotional distress and psychic pain from being so far apart, and Zoey needs all her faculties when facing Neferet, Kalona, and the High Council.

The turning point in this book would be Kalona killing Heath and Zoey's soul shattering in grief. Neferet is triumphant and quickly moves in as High Priestess to tend to Zoey's body, returning her to Tulsa (the banishment spell is broken because Zoey shattered) and holding her in guarded isolation where her friends can't reach her. Kalona, meanwhile, feels unexpected grief at her pseudo-death, partly because of his attachment to the woman she is reincarnated from and partly because of the truths she spoke when he invaded her dreams. His loyalty to Neferet and Darkness begins to waver, though he continues to guard Zoey's body.

Stark feels Zoey shatter because it breaks the oath he swore to her, and makes it his mission to get her body free from Kalona and the Raven Mockers (whose true forms are hidden by a glamour cast by Neferet), which is part of how he proves himself truly on the side of good. As Stark repeatedly fights and falls, Kalona spares him, feeling an old mercy return as he recognizes some of his former ruthless loyalty to Nyx in Stark's determination to get to Zoey.

Where Stark resorts to repeatedly fighting and almost getting killed by an immortal, Stevie Rae tries to appeal to the hearts of the Raven Mockers. Rephaim is the only one swayed. He finds himself intrigued by Stevie Rae and increasingly looking forward to their conversations.

In the meantime, Zoey has been trapped in the Otherworld, chasing Heath's fleeting presence while fighting the disparate pieces of herself and contending with Darkness trying to corrupt her grief into malice. No one enters the Otherworld to save her; Zoey has to learn to accept her grief and all her broken pieces before she is whole enough to see Heath and say goodbye.

She returns to her body, and Neferet is primed and ready to murder her with her own bare hands. Kalona and Rephaim, however, have been brought to a precipice, and they both make their turn at the same time, fighting together to protect Zoey. Neferet is forced to flee.

Book 4

A condensed version of Revealed and Redeemed. Awakened, Destined, and Hidden can be completely cut because Jack doesn't need to die and Aurox is a completely superfluous character.

Furious that Zoey survived and Kalona betrayed her, Neferet lets go of all restraint, murdering an entire church congregation in the White Bull's name. The volume and holiness of this sacrifice of innocents is enough that the White Bull grants her temporary, conditional immortality: She needs to keep innocent blood flowing in his name. Neferet accepts these terms, but is also reticent to remain under his control. She knows there is more than one way to be a goddess, and that true worship will grant her power and immortality in her own right. Thus, she takes over the Mayo, shrouds it in impenetrable protection, and balances routine sacrifices to keep her current power and psychological manipulation to craft hostages into worshippers.

Thanatos feels the disturbance of mass death as a sacrifice to Darkness and rushes to Tulsa, bringing with her an ancient artifact from a sorely missed old friend named Sgiach: the Seer Stone. The stone will allow Zoey to wield Old Magick, but it also has a connection to Nyx's realm and the Otherworld. While trying to learn how to use it, Zoey discovers that she can see glimpses of Heath's spirit watching over her. Though she has accepted her grief, she still hasn't moved past it, and grows desperate to see Heath in whatever way she can. She starts using the Seer Stone obsessively, making demands of it instead of allowing it to show her the natural flow of energies and spirits, and the intensity of her grief and misuse of the stone leads to her downward spiral and slow corruption. She starts going to places where she and Heath used to spend a lot of time, hoping it will make his presence more potent. When she's interrupted by two humans and loses her connection with his spirit, Zoey lashes out, and the Seer Stone responds, making her magic far more volatile. Zoey immediately calls an ambulance and surrenders herself to the police.

Kalona recognizes this corruption for what it is and intervenes, persuading Zoey that if he can turn from the draw of Darkness after centuries, then she can resist the allure of grief and Old Magick. Zoey reluctantly agrees, but wants time away from the Seer Stone so she can feel like herself again.

Stark tells her he was afraid he would lose her again, and offers her his Oath. She accepts.

They work in earnest to find a way to stop Neferet, and Zoey tentatively begins dipping her toes into Old Magick again, always with supervision of someone she trusts. Before they have anything figured out with confidence, however, Neferet descends on the HoN, intent on killing Zoey once and for all. During the fight, they quickly discover that Neferet is unkillable because of the constant, feverish worship of her hostages. Kalona knows the only way to stop an immortal, and offers himself up as bait. Zoey realizes what he's doing. Kalona drags Neferet back into the broken tree that covered his earthly prison, and Zoey invokes Old Magick to bind them there indefinitely. Kalona's body remains trapped but his spirit ascends, reuniting with Nyx; Zoey and all her friends complete the Change; and Rephaim is granted a human body by Nyx.

Fin.

Now, my version is still kind of a mess because I'm trying to stay reasonably true to the source material. But I think even this rough rearrangement is leaps and bounds better than what we actually got. It honestly is pretty upsetting how much wasted potential this series has.

#house of zoey #redeemed #final thoughts

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houseofzoey · 2 months

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Overall Thoughts on the House of Night Series

By my standards, this series failed in basically every way possible - except monetary success.

The characters are poorly developed, the majority of them fulfilling shallow archetypes or offensive stereotypes with minimal nuance or meaningful exploration. This is true even of major characters, particularly Damien, Stevie Rae, Shaunee, and even Aphrodite.

Much as Aphrodite is beloved by haters and fans alike for her hardships and ability to actually tell off Zoey on occasion, she's ultimately just the lovable bitch/mean-girl-turned-best-friend trope and sees little thoughtful development. We're told that she changes, such as when she declares that she doesn't want to be like her mother and opts not to mix Xanax and wine - but then she's back to the same "substance abuse for laughs" shtick in the next book. Aphrodite's only actual, consistent change is that she stops hating Zoey and considers her a close friend. But otherwise? She's still a quintessential mean girl. She insults people for how they dress, looks down on the poor, bickers and picks fights with everyone, and - oh yeah - is racist, ableist, and queerphobic. Because it's "funny".

Personally? I think Aphrodite is one of the most despisable characters in the series, specifically because a) she has all the makings of a great character with huge potential for complexity and development, b) we're told she goes through incredible growth and change without really being shown it, and c) she's a raging bigot and that's meant to be funny/charming.

I've talked at length about how Zoey, Kalona, and Neferet are giant disappointments as characters, so I won't harp on that here. The main takeaway is that P.C. Cast doesn't know how to establish interesting, nuanced characters, and she certainly has no idea how to develop the cardboard cutouts she does introduce.

It doesn't help that this series has so many characters. A lot of them introduced once and then promptly forgotten. Remember Hannah Honeyyeager? Red? Montoya? Ant? Enyo? Sappho? Kaci Crump? Yeah, I don't blame you if you can't recall more than one detail about any of these characters - if you can even remember anything about them at all.

I can understand wanting to make the series feel well-populated, seeing as it is set in a school in a major city. But there are ways to do that without it feeling like the author just picks fifteen names out of a hat at the beginning of each book and throws them into the text at random intervals. The end result is that the HoN doesn't feel well-populated; it feels cluttered.

The overabundance of meaningless characters leads to other problems, too. Namely... well, names. One great example of this is Shaunee Cole having a thing for Cole Clifton. That's ridiculous, especially because no one ever comments on it, despite this being the exact sort of oddity that these characters would banter about for at least a page. P.C. Cast just didn’t notice she did that. There's plenty of other examples of identical or extremely similar names throughout the series, such as:

Zoey's brother Kevin and Detective Kevin Marx

Erik and Erin

Neferet the person and Nefertiti the cat

Shaylin and Shaunee

Drew (human) and Drew (fledgling)

Kaci Crump, Cassie Kramme, Casey Young, and Kacie Lockwood (from the Other World spinoff)

Even Damien and Darius are a bit close. The author mixed up their names in narration at one point, and it was never caught during the editing process.

(It's also worth noting that P.C. and Kristin have stated that, if the HoN TV show ever comes to fruition, Shaunee and Erin's names will be changed to Monique and Misty.* Monique is already the name of a Priestess working under Damien at the NYHoN in Loved.)

This is only made more absurd when you remember that every single fledgling and vampyre - all these people who got Marked as teenagers - have complete freedom to change their name to whatever they want. Why are there three fledglings named some variation of Cassie (only Casey is human)? Where are all the kids naming themselves Destiny and Ebony and Serendipity? Why aren't more kids named after their favourite celebrities or characters? You're telling me not a single teenage boy named himself Mike Hawk? Where are the kids who gave themselves four middle names because it sounds fancy, or who made their initials into an acronym?

The number of characters who did something like this is very small: Aphrodite, Jack Twist, James Stark, Venus, and Thor are the only ones I can immediately think of. Frankly, that's absurd.

I know exactly why it's Iike that, though. PC Cast isn't thinking about world-building and internal logic when she names her characters. Instead, she regularly names her characters after real people she knows. Here is a non-exhaustive list of such names:

Shaunee Cole

Erin Bates

Damien Maslin (specifically the last name)

Seoras

Cassie Kramme**

Chera Kimiko

Adam Paluka

Mr. Shaddox

Bryan "Dragon" Lankford

Anastasia Lankford

(On a somewhat related note, both P.C. and Kristin both have multiple self-inserts throughout the original and spinoff series. For P.C., it's Sgiach and Tina. For Kristin, it's Zoey and Kacie. This is mostly harmless - except Tina. Tina is literary brown face, because the white author made her self-insert indigenous, specifically Creek. Otherwise, these self-inserts just end up glorified and coddled.)

This kind of offhandedness and carelessness with world-building plagues the series. It's why historical figures are casually mentioned to be vampyres with no thought to how that would actually impact history. It's why the author says, "yeah, all the best actors and singers are vampyres" but then never considers how different media would look if all the most famous entertainers were nocturnal and allergic to the sun. It's why only a handful of countries have large vampyre populations and many of them (such as Italy and Greece) are known to be incredibly sunny and have long days and long summers, while places like Canada are far less populated despite vampyres being minimally affected by the cold. It's why there's 25 HoNs in the world, seven of which are in the US, while only three are in Asia, one is in Africa, and there are none mentioned in Russia or South America. It's why there's only one HoN in Canada despite it being an enormous country that is difficult to travel because of terrain (mountains, wetlands, tundra), weather, and sheer size.

And the thing is, I can excuse Rule of Cool world-building, or world-building that is shallow/poorly thought out. But the execution and context matter. All throughout the text, there's this very clear vibe that the author thinks she has built this incredibly rich, detailed world that is well-researched and grounded in reality while still being fantastical. In reality, the world-building is about as deep and sturdy as a list of bullet points on a wet napkin: It's not detailed, half of it is unintelligible, and it's gonna fall apart if you put even the slightest pressure on it.

I think a great demonstration of both poorly thought out world-building and poorly developed characters is Nyx. She is a loving goddess who prizes free will and thus operates under the principle of non-interference - but she spent eons gaslighting Kalona and all of vampyre society; regularly pops in to give special powers, helpful hints, or immediate solutions to specific fledglings/vampyres if she likes them enough; openly plays favourites; and gives fledglings extremely cruel, painful, or confusing gifts with no explanation as to why said gifts work the way they do. Why is Stark able to accidentally kill someone because of a metaphor he didn't intend to use? Why do visions cause Aphrodite's eyes to bleed? It's also fundamentally unclear what she wants at numerous points throughout the series.

Much of Neferet's descent into evil and success in committing horrific atrocities comes down to the fact that a) Nyx decided that this was the situation in which she wasn't going to give Zoey or anyone else clear warnings or visions about specifically what Neferet was doing, and b) she refused to rescind any of Neferet's gifts, even when she was using them to hurt people and create undead abominations, and had completely turned her back on Nyx in favour of Darkness.

(This is only compounded by the events of the Other World spinoff, wherein Nyx responds to OG Neferet's crimes by erasing her soul from existence so she can never reincarnate or be resurrected. So, I guess she can interfere where she sees fit? She also reduces Other Neferet and a bunch of her soldiers to children so they can have a second chance [horrifying], and causes a bunch of people to instantly complete the Change - including Other Lynette, who was a human. That seems like a lot of very direct interference.)

I also need to acknowledge how absolutely nonsensical the plot of this series is. Like, even just looking at the (intended) core premise of each book, it's all over the place.

Marked: Zoey is Marked and must learn to navigate her new life as a fledgling, which includes discovering she is the Chosen One and ousting mean girl Aphrodite from her position as glorified Student Council President.

Betrayed: Neferet is acting suspicious, which includes accusing Aphrodite of lying about her visions, and being connected to undead fledglings Zoey has spotted around campus.

Chosen: Zoey must heal undead Stevie Rae while also juggling three boyfriends and lying to her friends about all of it.

Untamed: Creepy ravens are all over campus. Aphrodite gets a vision that reveals these are Raven Mockers and Neferet intends to free Kalona from his earthly prison.

Hunted: Kalona and Neferet have brainwashed pretty much everyone at the Tulsa HoN. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to break the spell or get rid of them.

Tempted: After being banished from Tulsa and unable to continue their reign over the HoN, Kalona and Neferet tell the High Council that they are Erebus and Nyx incarnate, and thus Neferet should be the new High Priestess of all vampyres. Zoey goes to the High Council to say they're lying.

Burned: Zoey is shattered in the Otherworld and everyone is trying to save her.

Awakened: Neferet murders Jack so Zoey will stop frolicking on the Isle of Skye and return to Tulsa. Once Zoey returns, Neferet pretends she's a good guy and asks for her forgiveness.

Destined: Zoey's mother had been ritually sacrificed by Neferet to create a living weapon, so Zoey and co. perform a reveal ritual to show how Zoey's mother was murdered.

Hidden: After being shunned by the High Council, Neferet kidnaps Zoey's grandma as vengeance. Neferet is also working a smear campaign against the HoN on local news, which Zoey and co. counteract by doing an interview badmouthing Neferet and announcing an open house on campus.

Revealed: Neferet murders the mayor outside the gates of the HoN, so the school is on lockdown until they can prove that no one living/working there killed him. The Seer Stone is making Zoey increasingly short-tempered and violent.

Redeemed: Neferet takes over a fancy hotel and declares all the hostages her worshippers. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to use Old Magick to stop an immortal without it making Zoey go mad.

Does any of that seem like a logical progression/escalation of events? This isn't even touching on all the random boy drama, abandoned subplots, or nonsensical digressions that only serve to pad the text.

What the author seemingly intended to craft was a Chosen One coming-of-age narrative about a young girl who always felt out of place finding belonging at the HoN while navigating romantic relationships, learning to be a leader, and joining the battle against Darkness.

What we got was a spoiled, selfish brat who complains about every privilege and inconvenience that falls into her lap, who refuses to do anything hard or unpleasant to the point that she repeatedly cheats and leads on her boyfriends, who never takes initiative, and who largely has her problems solved by her subservient friends or a literal goddess.

But it shouldn't be surprising that the plot is all over the place and fails to fulfill the intended themes/messages of the series, because information about P.C. Cast's writing process for the series is also quite inconsistent. Originally, the series was only meant to be a trilogy, but got picked up for more books. However, in a Reddit AMA***, Kristin Cast claims:

We plotted out the story arch, and it naturally ended with twelve books. We also had a per book word count we had to follow, which is why our books aren't as long as other YA novels. However, I don't think anything was rushed. It was all planned from the beginning, and was executed amazingly!

But in several interviews (can only find a couple**** because they were audio/video, not text), P.C. Cast has referenced going rogue - meaning she deviated from the outline. Stark was meant to be Stevie Rae's love interest, Rephaim was supposed to die when Stevie Rae found him, etc. These represent HUGE alterations to the plot, so obviously the whole plot couldn't have been planned from the beginning, nor could everything be executed as intended.

P.C. Cast has also stated that she hates outlining, but Kristin makes her do a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline when they actually co-write. When P.C. writes solo, she knows the beginning, the end, and a bunch of pieces in the middle, and then figures it out from there (which sounds like a plantser style). Given that Kristin wasn't involved in the planning process - she didn't even look at the outlines of the original series because, as an editor, she wanted completely fresh eyes for the text - she couldn't have been the one pushing for a thorough outline of the whole series before P.C. began writing.

And that's not even getting into the fact that P.C. has stated the series was originally planned as a trilogy, which is evident from how the first three books were written. She couldn't have planned a twelve book series because she had no reason to assume she would be able to publish more than three books.

I wish I had a more satisfying conclusion to offer here, but... that's kind of the problem with talking about this series. The problems both span so wide and run so deep that it feels impossible to actually cover everything. I've made tens of thousands of posts - including in-depth analyses of plot, character, world-building, and writing - for every single book in this series, and I still feel like I haven't covered everything.

*Discussed here, around 17:00

**Google searches show this is a real person who attended the same school PC taught at

***Reddit AMA

****PC Cast interview, q&a

#house of zoey #redeemed #final thoughts

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houseofzoey · 2 months

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Writing:

Looking back through the writing in Redeemed makes me wish I had tallied typos for the previous books, because my god are there a lot in this book.

Like, here's a non-exhaustive list:

Chapter 3: so instead of do

Chapter 5: checks instead of cheeks, "hit the each"

Chapter 7: Mogan le Fay

Chapter 9: "sat stared at", sooths instead of soothes, globs instead of globes

Chapter 12: secrete instead of secret, Priestess instead of priestesses

Chapter 16: "focused them on her will", "raised in battle stance"

Chapter 18: posses instead of possess

Chapter 21: "a bright as"

Chapter 22: Suzanne becoming Suzanna

Chapter 24: finale instead of final, lose instead of loose

Chapter 26: arch instead of arc, merefolk, inhumane instead of inhuman

And that's still not including all the examples of the author just... not knowing what words mean. Again, the best way to convey the scale of this problem is with a list:

Chapter 4: Dressing gown is compared to an outfit befitting a silver screen diva

Chapter 5: Circular drive for a drop-off zone by the curb

Chapter 7: cordially when Lenobia is more likely just being polite

Chapter 9: thee (singular) used in place of you (plural)

Chapter 11: politically correct. Specifically, saying it's not politically correct for religious leaders to guide humans on seeking sanctuary at the HoN.

Chapter 16: The sun just set, but it's not dark yet

Chapter 17: Damocles is the name of the king, not the sword

Chapter 17: gloaming is not a verb

Chapter 18: Superconductor does not describe something that amplifies fire/heat

Chapter 19: coitus interruptus means pulling out, not interrupting someone having sex

Chapter 20: impending thunderstorm when the storm is already very much present and active

Chapter 21: "Behind the ground"

Chapter 22: crawled to describe the movement of snakes

Chapter 23: awe-inspiring and awesome mean the same thing

Chapter 23: politically correct. Specifically, saying it is politically correct to want white men to broaden their horizons by dating black women, especially if they look hot together

Chapter 26: the end means the book is over, not 16 pages left to go

Afterward vs afterword

Afterward: North America is a continent, not a country

Afterward: fledge means "capable of flight", not "mature enough to leave the nest"

There's also just a ton of scattered little problems. PC Cast continues to struggle with punctuation. Use of italics and formatting for flashbacks, internal monologue, and dialogue with dead/non-Earthly entities is wildly inconsistent. There are multiple instances of Earth not being capitalized when referring to the planet, and at least one instance where it is capitalized when talking about the element. One of Zoey's sections inexplicably starts in third person POV before shifting to the usual first person, and one of Aphrodite's sections briefly switches to Zoey's POV.

And there are so many poems. So, so many poems, almost all of them terribly constructed. This includes a haiku that is 7-5-7 instead of 5-7-5, a couplet with uneven meter, and one poem where the final line is just as long the entire first stanza. I honestly think PC Cast gets worse at poetry the more she writes it.

The only real growth we've seen in the writing for this twelve book series is fewer pointless parenthetical asides, and Zoey being less bigoted/judgemental in her narration. Otherwise? P.C. Cast replicates the same issues in her writing again and again and again.

#house of zoey #redeemed #final thoughts

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houseofzoey · 2 months

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World-Building

This is the first book in which we officially meet Death as a separate entity from Nyx. We still know NOTHING about her. What does she look like? Can she, like Nyx, alter her image to suit whoever she is appearing before? What is her actual role? Thanatos' death is the only time we've seen Death escort someone to the afterlife, and the process is also wildly different - Thanatos doesn't leave a body behind. So did Thanatos go somewhere different than Nyx' Realm, where it's already been well-established that you can't bring your physical body? Also, who aside from Thanatos knows of Death? Does she have worshippers? What does that worship look like?

This leads to questions about Nyxism as a pantheon. Like, first of all, is it a pantheon? Obviously Death exists as a separate godly entity, but we have no idea what her role is in the broader cosmology or if she's even worshipped. Are there other, non-Nyx deities aside from Death? Are these deities known and worshipped? Because up until Death was introduced, every goddess or revered female figure from other religions was actually just Nyx in another guise. So why is Death different? And are there any other deities distinct from Nyx? If there are, they must not be particularly well-known, important, or worshipped, because we've never heard of them.

What is the point of Thanatos' affinity? We see numerous deaths that she isn't present for, and as far as we know, those spirits make their way to the Otherworld unassisted. We also know that Zoey can perform the exact same duty by casting a circle. So what exactly is the point of having a "High Priestess of Death", and why does everyone treat it like a big deal?

Kalona says there are different realms. What are they? Where are they? How does this work? How can Kalona move from one realm to the next? Does Nyx have power over all these realms? Are these different layers of the same reality, or completely different dimensions of existence?

If love is antithetical to evil, the power of love can defeat evil, and Darkness is the embodiment of evil, how is Neferet's relationship with her tendrils possible? Neferet loves them as a mother loves her children, and the tendrils love her in return. Neferet is evil and the tendrils are Darkness. By the logic and philosophy of this series, they shouldn't be capable of love. Or is it only romantic love that's so powerful and important? If that's the case, then the arc words of "love, always love" as part of Nyxist philosophy takes on a different meaning. It also indicates that Nyx loving vampyres as her children is not so powerful or meaningful, if familial love is indeed a lesser force than romantic love.

Why was Lynette able to pass through the protection spell to enter the Mayo? She was returning to the Mayo with the specific intent of serving Neferet, aiding her in committing horrific acts of violence and supporting her reign of terror to avoid being possessed. That's ill intent through and through.

When Neferet tried commanding Darkness to kill Zoey in Destined, she needed a sacrifice of equal value to a High Priestess. Neferet provides no such sacrifice in the climax; all the people she killed in the Mayo were to strengthen herself and her tendrils so they could break through the protection spell. So how was Neferet able to command Darkness to attack Zoey directly with intent to kill?

Why would breaking the circle kill Zoey? That's never been a risk before. It's not even if the circle is broken while she's casting a specific spell - just having the circle set at all while confronting Neferet could mean she dies if it's broken.

Because Stark is Zoey's Warrior, Thanatos can't give him orders, despite her being in a position of authority over Zoey. Why can't Thanatos order Zoey around on matters pertaining to her Warrior? Given the importance of Priestesses having Oath Sworn Warriors, how large a portion of the Sons of Erebus is answering to lesser Priestesses instead of the school's High Priestess or Sword Master? How does this work when there is actual conflict and the Warriors need to step up to defend their grounds or fight off a threat?

How does the power of the land boost a protective spell based in fire? Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be boosted by the sun? That would certainly create an interesting obstacle and greater sense of tension around casting and maintaining the spell.

Because Zoey is Cherokee and the reincarnation of A-ya, she is the embodiment of Oklahoma earth and its Old Magick... despite Cherokee not being indigenous to Oklahoma. Moreover, Cherokee people did not historically abide by contemporary state boundaries, so the concept of a Cherokee person being the embodiment of a specific state's earth is absolute nonsense. It also doesn't really matter to the climax. Zoey calls upon the elements (her actual affinity), the Great Earth Mother (Nyx), and Old Magick (a nonsentient force that she can tap into with the Seer Stone) to push Neferet into the grotto. There's no reason for her to call on her Cherokee heritage to do so - literally none of this magic is related to the Cherokee.

#final thoughts #redeemed #house of zoey

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houseofzoey · 2 months

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Plot

Redeemed centers on Zoey learning to control Old Magick so she can defeat Neferet, while Neferet rules over the Mayo as a Dark Goddess and sets her sights on controlling Tulsa as a whole.

Well, in theory.

In reality, Zoey did absolutely nothing of import this entire book. I've covered this in the Characters section of my final thoughts for this book, but it bears repeating. Zoey did nothing. She didn't make any effort to learn how to wield Old Magick. She didn't come up with the plan to defeat Neferet. She didn't even really fight Neferet or Darkness in the climax. She didn't contribute to the sacrifice to entomb Neferet. Zoey. Did. Nothing.

Neferet also did little of importance. She took over the Mayo and then just sort of... hung out. Demanded entertainment. Drank wine. Murdered people for a protection spell.

So what this book is actually about is two opposed groups in holding patterns, waiting for the other to strike while monologuing about how they're totally gonna defeat their enemy. That's the climactic conclusion to this twelve book series.

Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised.

Day One: Chapter 1, Chapter 3 (Sunday)

Day Two: Chapter 2, Chapter 4-Chapter 11 (Monday)

Day Three: Chapter 12-Chapter 23 (Tuesday)

Day Four: Chapter 24-Chapter 26 (Wednesday)

Day???: Afterward

I feel like I should have a lot more to say about the final installment in a 12-part series, but... I really don't. It was all the same bullshit and padding that the series has retread again and again and again.

#final thoughts #redeemed #house of zoey

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houseofzoey · 2 months

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Characters

Zoey

Zoey really, truly did nothing and learned nothing in this book.

She never actually atoned for her violent assault of two homeless men, nor did she recognize her pattern of violence and using power as a means of control throughout the series. In fact, she still sees the men as in the wrong, and only thinks she should have called the cops instead of assaulting them.

She still never takes meaningful action against bigotry within her circle, most notably with Aphrodite's ableism and queerphobic comments. Bear in mind that Zoey has threatened or punished friends when they irritated her or spoke out of turn in the past, but with Aphrodite, the most she does it tell Aphrodite she's being mean and then move on. Worse, Zoey herself joins Aphrodite in racially insensitive conversation about Kramisha, and the two make racist and exotifying comments about Shaunee. Bigotry and dehumanization contributed to her assault of two men at the end of Revealed, just as they contributed to her assault of two men in Chosen. Nothing has changed.

Zoey continued to have the exact same conflict with Aurox right up until the climax. This includes her continually putting her foot in her mouth and making him feel uncomfortable and unwanted because he isn't Heath.

Zoey didn't save a single hostage, nor did she ever try. Instead, she helped cast a spell that trapped Neferet in the Mayo (a plan she didn't come up with, nor did she lead the circle or help maintain the spell). There was no attempt to tunnel under the Mayo to sneak out hostages. There was no attempt to take down the curtain of Darkness to free hostages. There was no protection cast on the hostages within the Mayo so they would be safe from Neferet. Zoey abandoned them all to death.

The climax didn't even really involve Zoey's skills, power, or any of the lessons she supposedly learned. Zoey didn't come up with the plan to trap Neferet, didn't make the sacrifice to trap Neferet, never learned to properly wield Old Magick (nor did she make any attempt to study/practice it), and didn't use the elements to fight Darkness while waiting for Neferet to move into position. She doesn't even use her own affinities in the fight against Neferet, despite her incredible gifts being emphasized repeatedly throughout the series. Instead, she needs the power of the Fey to get her five steps closer to Neferet, sacrificing multiple sprites in the process (note that sprites are rare and arguably endangered).

The only thing she does is free Aurox' soul, and the only reason that's necessary is because he was the one to sacrifice himself to ultimately stop Neferet. Zoey didn't wield Old Magick through the Seer Stone to stop Neferet; Auorx did. Zoey is supposed to be the Chosen One, yet she did next to nothing in the fight against the main villain.

And none of this ever costs her anything! Heath's soul is freed from Aurox, meaning he can reincarnate again and find Zoey in another life. Aurox also spontaneously developed his own soul, which has also been freed, meaning he can also reincarnate and reunite with Zoey. Stark survived the battle. Zoey didn't have to sacrifice herself to trap Neferet. This all means that Zoey didn't actually sacrifice her true love, as the Fey demanded. Zoey didn't really have to wield Old Magick, and never faced the risk of being corrupted by it. Zoey doesn't even have to worry about, like, re-upping the spell every week or something. It's just done.

And there's such a missed opportunity here! One actually interesting, thematically consistent option for the conclusion of the series would've been Zoey replicating A-ya's actions against Kalona by luring Neferet into the grotto and then becoming trapped in there with her, using Old Magick to hold them both there forever. It would have required Zoey to actually put the world before herself and DO SOMETHING.

Neferet

What was the point of this villain?

First, she's secretly raising an undead army to wage war on humans. Then she wants to unleash Kalona to take over the HoN she's already in charge of. Then she wants to pose as Nyx Incarnate to take over the High Council and declare war in humans. Then she takes command of the HoN again so she can sow chaos. Then she wants to be a Goddess ruling a fancy hotel as her Temple, worshipped by humans and presenting herself as their protector.

Where is the logic in any of this? None of her schemes/ambitions ever meaningfully connect together, nor is there a sense of escalation. Halfway through the series, she was trying to take over the highest position of leadership in vampyre society so she could start a brutal vampyre-human war, and by the end of the series, she's complaining that the humans entertaining her in a hotel lobby aren't good dancers.

None of this even makes sense with her backstory. She was brutally raped by her father and saved when Nyx Marked her. Then she was routinely subject to hardships as a fledgling and vampyre, first because of how people used her for her mind reading (which also gave her disturbing insights into the thoughts of those around her), and later because Nyx gave her a healing affinity that was too little, too late when her beloved cat was killed. Neferet hates Nyx, and has every reason to - but she never does anything against Nyx. Not really.

Imagine if she created undead fledglings with the power of Darkness so that there would be a form of vampyre that existed outside of Nyx' power. Imagine if Nyx tried to strip Neferet of her power out of fear of her intentions, but that only sent her deeper into Darkness' embrace, where she had all the same affinities plus the threads of Darkness at her disposal. Imagine if she freed Kalona knowing that he had connections to Nyx, with the specific intent of using his knowledge, power, and betrayal to get to Nyx. Imagine if she forced humans to worship her because faith grants power to a deity, and the more people worship her (even if only out of fear), the stronger she becomes, and thus the more able she is to reach Nyx in her realm and confront her directly.

That would be actual escalation! Actual stakes! It would also make Nyx feel like more of a character, rather than a literal deus ex machina that shows up to praise and reward the protagonists from time to time.

Kalona

P.C. Cast has no idea how to write a redemption arc. If she did, Kalona's story would be wildly different.

What we got: A serial rapist, murderer, and enslaver who Fell to Earth to commit these atrocities because he was petty and jealous, thinking the woman he liked didn't love him/was involved with someone else. After inflicting atrocities on countless people for an unspecified number of years, he was magically imprisoned by A-ya and the Wise Women for about a thousand years. After Neferet frees him, he resumes his atrocities, mind controlling (see: enslaving) an entire HoN, attempting to seduce Zoey in her dreams and later vicariously having sex with her via his connection to Stark, aiding and abetting Stark in his sexual assaults, and murdering Heath and (temporarily) Stark. All of this is forgiven, though, because he decides to be a better father to one (1) of his dozens of sons, pledges himself to Thanatos and fights on the side of light for a few weeks, and impulsively sacrifices his life to save a single hostage with no means of a) stopping other hostages from being killed after he dies, and b) knowing if continuing to kill hostages will free Neferet, allowing her to wreak unspeakable violence on Tulsa as a whole. Kalona is rewarded for this by being allowed to remain eternally at Nyx' side as her lover and Warrior, and his black wings turned white.

What we could have had is... Well, there's a few options here.

Option 1: Make his backstory less horrific. Maybe in a parallel to Neferet, he Fell to Earth and forced people to worship him, and would punish them if they didn't worship passionately/convincingly enough. "Punish" meaning, like, destroying crops or causing floods or something. Bad, but not "serial rapist, enslaver, and murderer" levels of bad. The Wise Women magically imprison him, he's freed by Neferet, together they try to pick up where he left off. In this version, him focusing on being a better father and pledging himself in service to a mortal feels like he's becoming more grounded and less selfish compared to forcing people to worship him as a God.

Option 2: Kalona's backstory is just as awful, but his redemption plays out completely differently. He recognizes that Neferet is consumed by Darkness and hate in a way very reminiscent to his own path, and he realizes that she needs to be stopped the same way he was. He calls for the protection spell to be released, he lures Neferet to the grotto, he is the Old Magick sacrifice that seals her inside forever. And, I dunno, if you still wanna be generous and lean toward a happy ending, after 1000 years, the seal becomes permanent enough that Kalona's soul is freed and he has a chance to reunite with Nyx in the Otherworld, should she accept him.

Nyx

In this book, we learned that Nyx has been gaslighting Kalona for almost his entire existence. Everyone still calls her a loving goddess who never lies.

This makes every single sketchy or questionable thing pertaining to Nyx SO MUCH WORSE. I'm serious: Look back through all the questions I've raised about Nyx in previous Final Thoughts posts while bearing in mind that Nyx gaslit Kalona and all of vampyre society for eons. It is now irrefutably canon that Nyx played a ruthless, long-con mind game with the being she is supposed to be deeply in love with, and she genuinely believes this was for his own good. That makes her behaviour toward everyone in this series so much more sinister.

Aurox

Based on his role in planning Neferet's imprisonment and sacrificing himself in the climax, Aurox is meant to be a major character. But I can't really think of anything he actually contributed aside from those two things, which didn't come until the end.

It doesn't help that his role in the planning and imprisonment didn't feel earned or sensible. As I've already pointed out, Zoey and/or Kalona would be way more logical characters to have come up with the plan to imprison Neferet and sacrifice themselves to do so. Aurox was just kinda... there. It felt like the author was grasping for a way to remove him from the story because he was otherwise a loose end, and also to seal Neferet away with a "sacrifice" without Zoey actually losing anything too important (such as Stark or her own life/freedom).

Aurox' whole deal was that he didn't know who he was, what his purpose was, or if he could be a good person or a valuable person without the influence of Heath's soul. None of that is meaningfully addressed or resolved in this book. The best we get is a handwave at the very end: "Yeah, yeah, he totally has his own soul now and Nyx accepts him." It's a huge waste of potential.

Lynette

Lynette was supposed to be a super important new character who gave us insight into Neferet's machinations from the perspective of a victim. I'm supposed to sympathize for her, and fear for her, and feel for her becoming so entangled with Neferet that she goes back to her even after she escapes to safety.

Problem: She's a random woman I've been given no real reason to care about aside from, "Well, being a hostage sucks for anyone." It doesn't help that she's also kind of a shitty person who's openly fatphobic.

Her biggest plot contribution is telling Neferet the conversation she overheard between Zoey, Stevie Rae, and Aphrodite about the protection spell draining Thanatos, but that ultimately serves to make Neferet a less competent villain. Why would the once-High Priestess of this HoN not know the process and impact of a famous protection spell outlined in the Fledgling Handbook?

Everyone Else

Nicole appeared in a grand total of four chapters in Redeemed. Two of those chapters, she didn't even have dialogue. Queerphobic comments are made at her expense.

Kramisha appears in two chapters and is mentioned in three more. She contributes a prophetic poem that... actually, nothing is ever done with it. Racist comments are made at her expense.

Erik shows up, we're told that he's changed so much, he becomes Shaunee's boyfriend inexplicably.

Darius is a Warrior and dotes on Aphrodite.

Stevie Rae is part of Zoey's circle.

Damien is part of Zoey's circle and reads books. Queerphobic comments are made at his expense.

Shaunee is part of Zoey's circle and helps maintain the protection spell on Tulsa. She starts dating Erik. She is such a non-entity that the only people to cheer her on at the final assembly are cops. Racist comments are made at her expense.

Shaylin is part of Zoey's circle. She barely even uses her True Sight except for a couple offhand mentions of people's auras. Queerphobic comments are made at her expense.

Rephaim is Stevie Rae's boyfriend and he's sad when his dad dies.

Stark is Zoey's boyfriend and Warrior. She is willing to sacrifice him to stop Neferet. Doesn't actually have to, though.

Aphrodite has a vision warning Kalona that Neferet is gonna kill him. He gets killed anyway. She has no visions warning her about Neferet massacring hostages to create a curtain of Darkness, or about her massacring more hostages to destroy the protection spell and kill Thanatos, or about anything preventable, really. She continues to make ableist, racist, and queerphobic comments.

Grandma is wise and makes good food. She is also literally magical because she's Cherokee.

Thanatos does a big spell and dies. Her super cool death affinity is apparently also moot because Zoey can do the exact same thing by just casting a circle.

For how large this cast is, most of the characters are just kinda... there. They have no arcs, no goals, no personal stakes or fears or motives or anything. Despite ostensibly being major characters (or at least prominent recurring characters), they are all just accessories to more important players in the narrative - primarily Zoey.

#final thoughts #redeemed #house of zoey

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