#back on my dog motif bullshit
Text
I CANT FORGIVE YOU
NO MATTER WHAT I DO
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
man i was reading the lyrics to moonlight and i think i'm going to fall down a flight of stairs
That spotlight is shining on me
Your back turned, you are once more getting further from my reach
I could never become anything like you
As if trying to chase after the moon
POINTS at toya's damn gray jacket. der Mond - the moon. i physically cannot shut up about akito and toya's sun and moon motifs because colorful palette won't shut up about them either. this bit so perfectly reflects the way akito views their relationship, which is a view born from the way he perceives himself.
akito's self-image is interesting because it's not as simple as "oh he's self-conscious." because like. he's not. unlike his sister, he didn't violently reject his father's mantras about Nautral Talent and Not Being Good Enough and You Will Be Left Behind, You Will Suffer, I'm Protecting You. ena opposes the "lessons" their father tried to teach and is left desperately seeking validation; justification that she's right, he's wrong, she's good enough, she has the natural talent, she's fine. akito, however, just internalized this shit. and he internalized it in a really interesting way.
he has completely accepted the (subjective) fact that he doesn't have the ~Natural Talent~ that arata, an, kohane, and toya (just to name a few) do. this is not a thing for him to agonize over. he doesn't have time to agonize over it; he has to work fifteen times as hard to keep up. he quit soccer because he realized that he would never be able to catch up with the kids who took the sport seriously and dreamed of being professionals one day. they were all already so far ahead of him, having shaped their entire lives around soccer. he realized then that if he wants to do anything, he has to put his very SOUL into it from the first step or he'll never, ever make anything of himself. everyone will leave him behind. he can't do anything for fun; he's not good enough. just like dear old dad said.
it does his character a major injustice to simplify this mindset into just being "insecure." because he's not. he is very, incredibly, unhealthily secure. in his eyes, this is just the undeniable truth of the world. he's not good enough, he's not a good person, he lacks the innate talents so many others are born with - so he'll just have to work harder and harder and harder than anyone else. but he doesn't just give up on everything forever, which is typically the behavior this kind of mindset lends itself to. he sees this as a challenge. he runs on sheer determination and spite. he doesn't inherently have a place in this world (a place at toya's side COUGHS) but by god is he going to forcefully carve one out for himself, even if it means he never gets a day of rest in his life.
he had that breakdown in stray BAD DOG not because arata made him feel insecure, but because arata forced him to confront something he was trying not to confront (which was odd for him, because he's incredibly emotionally intelligent for his age and he doesn't let shit stew like that; he doesn't let others stew in their bullshit either, as we see with him and an in singing in sync. he's very much about immediate recognition and resolving the heart of the issue. i suspect he procrastinated here because he just felt so happy with the formation of vivid BAD SQUAD, and he really didn't want to acknowledge the existence of this ugly thing growing deep inside him and ruin that happiness): the fear that he's lagging behind his bandmates - toya especially. that he had grown complacent and forgot that his growth as a musician is minute compared to what everyone else's. which leads me back to the aforementioned lyrics -
i don't believe akito is jealous of toya in any way. that would require insecurity, and once again, akito isn't insecure. he is firm and unwavering. he is vivid BAD SQUAD's "rock" for a reason. but there is one thing that causes him a whole lot of pain, and that is the fact that he feels he will always be chasing after toya, fingertips just barely brushing against the success that comes so naturally and so beautifully to his partner. the sun and the moon are inextricably connected, but they do an odd sort of dance, don't they? they cannot exist in the same sky (shut up work with me on a figurative poetic sense here <3). do you ever wonder how the sun must feel? it sinks beneath the horizon, hoping to finally grasp that wonderful silver light, even if for just a second, only for the moon to spin out of reach and dazzle the whole sky, getting further and further away as the seasons change.
(but of course, how does the moon feel, then? and akito... you're so silly. the moon is only able to find its light thanks to the sun's warmth. it reflects all the love the sun has given it.)
so obviously toya fucking adores akito and is very much by his side no matter what happens as they grow up, and akito will get this through his thick skull one day. One Day 😐 but there's another handful of lyrics in moonlight that really stand out to me for the light they shed on akito's thoughts and perspectives:
We continued to have dull dreams
We, who imitated to find our paths
Even if it's trash, even if it's rags
...
I couldn't even see my dull dreams anymore
Still, I continued to chase them
Even if it's all fake, even if it's all real
Looking back, they're just there
Those blurry memories of mine
Irony, now reduced to waste
I tried to break free from cliché, yet...
"Another rehash of someone else's work?"
...
Time pases, time passes,
Don't avert your eyes when we turn back and look
We, who imitated to find our paths
Even if it's trash, even if it's rags
What lies past the endless dream I chase
Is my own light, shining forever
these lyrics fascinate me. because what is akito's (what is vivid BAD SQUAD's) dream? to surpass RAD WEEKEND. and these lyrics tell us that... akito, deep down, understands the ultimate fruitlessness of that dream. "we, who imitated to find our paths" - the desire to do something better than RAD WEEKEND was integral for the formation of vivid BAD SQUAD and does lay the foundations for who they all are now. but when you confine yourself to standards set by people who are not you and never will be you, the only thing you accomplish is squandering your own growth.
i'm telling you right now: they can't surpass RAD WEEKEND. it's not a lack of skill; it's not a lack of drive. but nothing they do will ever be like what ken and his groupmates did. as long as that is the metric they judge themselves by, and let OTHERS judge them by, they will only pale in comparison - another rehash of someone else's work, yeah? and i think akito is the closest to understanding that but his stubbornness is in the way.
unless they let themselves exist freely and pursue their own unique legacy, they'll be stuck chasing after this dull (unoriginal) dream. nothing they do will ever be worthy of RAD WEEKEND's status. i mean hell, what was it that ken said to akito? oh yeah:
essentially: RAD WEEKEND was nothing more than a concert put on by a passionate handful of individuals, and, sure. it was amazing. a real demonstration of what people can do with music and performing. but humans are suckers for nostalgia and romanticizing the past; it was just a concert. i think ken was trying to tell akito that they're overthinking and overdoing it. they need to dial it back, let themselves be kids and grow up and do stupid shit and experience life, and just have fun with their music first and foremost. they don't need to fill in the shapes of someone else's footsteps to lead fulfilling lives. they can go their own path.
but i don't think ken needed to tell akito this. akito knows already. it just goes so far against everything he's been taught all his life. he's resisting this next (still subjective, admittedly) fact. next to an, akito is the Loudest about surpassing RAD WEEKEND and i believe at least 3/4ths of his vehemence about it is to compensate for the deep-set feeling that this isn't the way to lead their lives. if they keep going the way they are, they'll be stuck in a dissatisfied loop, leading to depression and possibly even causing hatred of the music they love so fucking much. and like, okay, hypothetically let's say that they do 100% "surpass" RAD WEEKEND - whatever the hell that truly entails (seriously can anyone tell me what that would truly and honestly entail. yeah that's what i thought). ...what's next? not one of them has put thought into what their lives will look like beyond this One Thing, and should they ever achieve that One Thing or realize that it's actually unattainable, they'll end up lost and confused. it's a recipe for the ultimate identity crisis for all 4 of them. and akito knows and understands this, but he won't admit it. not yet, not quite. he's brute forced his way through so much of life already. why not this, too?
but... he'll get there. and so will the others. kids always do. they'll be alright.
#project sekai#akito shinonome#akitoya#vivid bad squad#colorful stage#prsk#long post#if you were wondering about the direction i chose to take VBS in my Future of SEKAI au then well. here's your explanation.#been rotating akito in my head ALL DAY because of the new lim cards :/
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
songs that mean something @ IU Bloomington 2/29/24
notes from my talk at Black Metal is for Everyone. yes I know LI is not black metal. I also don't care! get off my dick :)
IF THE POISON WON’T TAKE YOU MY DOGS WILL
Condensing everything I love about Kristin Hayter into 5 minutes.
Quotes by Kristin Hayter herself come from 4 interviews – 1 following the release of All Bitches Die (2017), 2 following CALIGULA (2019) and a Reddit AMA after Sinner Get Ready (2020); Hayter refers to these works as a trilogy, and I’m thinking of all three while I talk about this song off CALIGULA. Hayter has since completed the Lingua Ignota project and now makes music under her given name.
What’s important to me about Lingua Ignota/Kristen Hayter are her ideas of female ecstatic/religious speech/glossolalia (speaking in tongues) paired with what she has to say about “darkness,” trauma, and extreme music.
Hayter describes the idea that “there is something intrinsically feminine about oracular or ecstatic experience.” My academic work has to do with ways that the marginalized interject themselves into unwelcome space, sometimes through invoking Satan or dark powers; I see female mystics in a similar vein, but on the side of lightness.
Lingua Ignota means “unconstructed/unknown language,” an alphabet attributed to medieval mystic/composer/oracle Hildegaard von Bingen, one of Hayter’s influences.
“Poison” is “meant to evoke the ambience of the Jonestown death tapes,” Hayter is directly quoting Jim Jones in the line “I am the best friend you’ll ever have” – this is something she does throughout her work. On Sinner Get Ready she quotes Jimmy Swaggart, a televangelical involved in some public sex scandals and defrocked.
Aileen Wuornos was “one of the world-building motifs” of Hayter’s work. Although she is commonly referred to as one of the only female “serial killers,” Wuornos herself alleged that her actions were self-defense; the men she murdered had raped or attempted to rape her. Hayter's choice to sample Wuornos on her first album All Bitches Die was a reaction to male extreme metal musicians sampling [male] serial killers as a signpost for “evilness;” Hayter feels that this is overused in the genre to the point of banality. Further, these men are playacting in Hayter’s opinion; they aren’t actually familiar with human cruelty in a real sense. She is interested in “flipping the paradigm” of extreme music, to instead make heavy music for people “upon whom dark shit has actually been visited” - people who, like Wuornos, might have considered homicide as a survival mechanism.
“Poison” opens with “Kyrie eleison,” literally, “Lord, have mercy.” One of the notable times this phrase appears in the Bible is in the story of the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21); she asks Jesus for mercy and he is so moved by her faith that he heals her possessed daughter. The mercy of Jesus/God for the faithful and specifically female divine retribution appears throughout Hayter’s work; I had a hard time choosing between this song and “I Who Bend the Tall Grasses,” which is a song in which Hayter herself demands God kill her abuser, hissing “I’m not asking.”
Kyrie eleison is also often the first sung prayer of the traditional Latin Catholic Mass; Hayter referred to CALIGULA as “golden Catholic bullshit” - Sinner Get Ready is more Appalachian evangelical, experimenting with Christian/Catholic faith in its varied forms.
“Abandon your body/make worthless your body” I’m really interested in the idea of rebellion through deliberate warning symbolism or deliberate ugliness – like Britney Spears shaving her head in 2007, what we as the traumatized can do to take power back or break rules, transcending your body as a definition of yourself, making your body “worthless” to those who might use it to hurt (or define) you.
Hayter describes going “from situations where I was being totally controlled to total autonomy, and it seems crazy but thinking about stuff like — what colors do I like? What clothes can I wear? Has been pretty huge for me." - ideas of self-reclamation, making one’s body worthless to anyone but the person inhabiting it.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last thought on Mossflower before I move on, it's honestly fascinating to come back to the early books and see just how much BJ was just. throwing stuff at the wall at the beginning of the series. Like obviously Redwall has its beavers and its dog mentions and its horse-drawn haycarts, but in Mossflower we get our first glimpse of Salamandastron and wow that shit's kind of weird. It has a dragon motif for some reason! Bloodwrath isn't a thing yet! The Badger Lord is still the lone bulwark protecting the mainland from seafaring threats, but instead of the militaristic fighting force of the Long Patrol we see in later books, Boar has like, ten dudes! Two of them are kids! I guess the initial idea was that the Badger Lord is supposed to be a one-man army against all comers and the hares were just kind of extras? Which, fair, they're unstoppable juggernauts throughout the series, but Boar beefs it in the first and only real fight we see him in.
Speaking of, that final battle against Ripfang was bullshit. Literally eleven guys against a literal army, no strategy in sight. Gee Boar maybe your death wouldn't have been foretold if you exercised some brainier tactics than "walk out the front door and into the waiting army of pirates that are specifically here to kill you".
It's also bullshit that Martin didn't get to attend Gonff and Columbine's wedding. He was unconscious for a few weeks at most and they knew he was gonna pull through, there's no reason why his best friend couldn't have waited for him to wake up instead of springing "hey bud thanks for saving my homeland, I just celebrated a supremely important life event without you, welcome back to the world of the living!" I like Gonff but I'm genuinely offended on Martin's behalf.
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/master-xochimilli/734242375529070592/i-think-more-fellow-doms-should-make-pathetic
daniel with johnny
So damn right. Daniel is NOT going to hold back a single fucking noise when after all the fighting and bullshit, he finally has the boy of his nightmares splayed out for him to devour and bruise and fuck into tears until the fire in his eyes is dulled and glazed—THAT’S how good he dicks him.
Johnny’s like a goddam furnace inside, tight as a Chinese finger trap and so breedable it drives Daniel nuts. He gets into a damn frenzy needing to fill Johnny up until he’s spilling then force his cum as deep as it will go with his thick dick until he’s sure that if Johnny could, he would be 1000% pregnant.
No way he’s gonna hold back his own worrisome whimpering when it feels so right. Like everything they had ever done had been to lead them there, close as can be and connected in that exact way—It’s like he doesn’t have to worry about anything when he has Johnny yowling like a cat in heat, which is funny because Johnny always jokes him about sounding like a hurt dog (can’t let go of the kitty/lamb and puppy motif sorry.)
But he isn’t taunting him when Daniel is drilling him so violently he’s scared for his insides–when Daniel’s sticking his fingers down his throat like it’s just another thing to fuck and watching him with distinct satisfaction and cute moans leaving him. When Daniel’s holding him down on the mat grinding in deep.
He knows Johnny wants him to make noise—he’s a fiend for praise and noise might as well be. Making Daniel cry out by squeezing his cunt hole around him instead of punching him. Hurt him with pleasure. It makes him even more desperate to make the blonde finish as many times as he can.
(He’s still pathetic with the sounds when Johnny’s restraining him down and riding him like he’s his favorite dildo, crushing his hips with all that weight in the perfect amount of too much—bouncing so hard his strong thighs make a slapping noise on every down so loud you’d wince hearing it and clawing his nails down Daniel’s flat chest to ensure everyone would know some feisty bitch got to him. Using him to abuse his hole until they’re both clutching each other for dear consciousness like they can’t just stop.)
They just have REALLY loud sex. This is why they cannot live in an apartment.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's funny writing romance for two very different stoic army couple pairings.
One I can always fall back on "well their whole thing is devouring as devotion, cannibalism as love, dog motif, violence as foreplay, etc."
The other pair are just relatively "normal" (still war criminals just of a different flavor) and thus my brain falls into the tar pit of "He would not fucking say that". Goddamn stupid British stiff upper lip bullshit is killing me over here lol
it's so much easier writing obsessed little freaks
#skelly speaks#back to the mines for me aka watching video game cut scenes to get the voice right#ship: the wolf and the wildcat#ship: you are the sword to my shield
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
SDV Character Inspos
SO there was this prompt about character inspos in this SDV server im in and i guess im just in the mood to talk about why i chose the inspo i did LOL LONG POST! will add some other characters later since they're based off more general concepts and not actual characters LOL
Rosario -
1. Zhao Tianyou (y:lad) - literally his voice claim and everything. based alot of him off this guy from his teasing personality and the way he Gets Serious when it comes to people close to him
2. Shun Akiama (Yakuza 4) - Big personality contributor! he's flirty, smart but acts like a dumbass, and like. the perfect amount of sleezy that it comes off as charming LOL
3. Kogitsunemaru (Touken Ranbu) - based the whole white hair, fox motif off this guy. also he's cheeky so what a surprise
4. Geralt of Rivia (Witcher 3) - Less so the character and more so his occupation and world. I yoinked alot of the worldbuilding from the game and yeeted it into my stardew world LOL
5. Majima Goro (Yakuza Kiwami) - its the "he's crazy but one thing is for sure he's loyal as a dog" for me. also the "goating you into fights as a way of flirting" also the whole, living freely and fuck all the bullshit kind of thing. living for yourself and for your best.
6. Luka Redgrave (Bayonetta) - pathetic flirty little shit
7. Dante (DMC: Devil May Cry) - mostly an influence from one of my best friends irl, the badass fuck boy with an attitude i loved, also he's fucking metal i love him
8. Loki Laufeyson (MCU) - a trickster type cocky little shit that gets misunderstood, also enjoying the chaos. and the bisxuality.
9. Vampire Cookie (cookie run) - ...... the hair.
Luz -
Lady Demitrescu (RE: Village) - tall vampire lader that could crush me without a second thought and long extendable nails haw yee
Nezuko Kamado (Demon Slayer) - sister to the MC, unwilling transformation into supernatural creature, struggles to reign in new instincts to prey on humans, cool fire powers that come with cryptid-hood
Olivier Armstrong (Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood) - shes hot, strong and can kill me
Luisa Madrigal (Enchanto) - shes hot, strong, and can kill me (but she wouldn't) also body type inspo
Jeanne (Bayonetta) - compared to bayonetta (rosario)'s outright flirt-teasing, jeanne (luz) tends to be a little meaner with her goading. also oooo shes hot strong and can kill me (i swear im biromantic)
Rouge -
1. Mirei Park (Yakuza 5) - face claim and also a big personality contributor. manipulative but in a way she wants the best for you, harsh but also for the same reason, intimidating, head strong, reliable, and has gone through way too much shit
2. Kiryu Kazuma (Yakuza) - big family woman like him and is super-unnaturally strong and durable. has his strength and everything. also an orphan that grew up with other orphans, and took care of them.
3. Nishikiyama Akira (Yakuza) - bad bitch honestly LMFAOJFOSDIF no i mean like there was a turning point in Rouge's life where she couldn't go back to what things were, and she fully committed herself to the underworld....
4. Osamu Kashiwagi (Yakuza) - Scars
5. Mine Yoshitaka (Yakuza 4) - yoinked the gayness and last name from this one
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Donbura ko, donbura ko, DON DON!
Yurari yurete
Mesazu wa donna Happy End?
Just like this morning's Geats recap, this is very late, but hey! We have two episodes! That means you get to have me for even longer! Ain't that swell?
So, I think I should note that I'm very excited for what's gonna happen in the series going forward. We're past the recap, just about everybody who'd be a main character is here and accounted for, and of course, we have a couple dozen episodes of content left to witness and discover.
So... how about them Spoilers, I guess?
-Last time, we had a big battle after the finale of Avataro Sentai Donbrothers! Today, we continue with Avataro Sentai Donbrothers!
-"Don Momotaro... my dreams are finally coming true. I have been talking about you all the time with my besties Sononi and Sonoza over the landline. I even curl my hair with my fingers as humans are wont to do."
-"Sonoi... why can't we just be normal boyfriends? :("
-Ooooooooh, the tension...
-How the fuck did we get here, huh?
-Donbrothers Pool Party Pog
-Kaleidoscopic indeed, Shinichi
-Aw man, Kaito doesn't get to join?
-Donbura Dive
-SONOI
-Ah fuck, we're dueling.
-Out of the blue? I mean, he did just get out of the pool Tsuyoshi.
-Oooooooh, flowers...
-...please tell me that's a totally different set of nigh identical clothes.
-"I'm setting up my symbolism, Sonoza."
-Ohhhh shit, Sonoi's just that good huh
-This is more speed training, huh?
-Don Momotaro training arc?
-"My strength... is painful strength..."
-I love this spider lily symbolism so much.
-Daaaaaaaaamn, got the intersections down.
-"Come back, Sonoi!"
-Haruka why are you so excited about this?
-This episode's going pretty fast, huh?
-They be fighting.
-"Hey God, do me a favor and help Momoi-san win?"
-Kaito Goshikida: :^)
-Tumbleweeds.
-Jesus Christ Sonoi are you standing in the middle of a tornado?
-Spilled all over him.
-TAROU
-Doesn't even take a day off work for his boyfriend.
-He fucking teleported into the driver seat
-I like this jazzy rendition of the theme, it's pretty nice
-Oh c'mon, don't be mean to the delivery man!
-Oh, you're that lady! From the episode where Tarou fucking died!
-SONOI HJHKJ
-"Desperate times call for desperate measures."
-I really like this lady's tiger shirt though, it's pretty epic.
-"You wanna go eat some oden?"
-Dom Perignon! You've been having that, huh?
-...what a lovely backdrop for a battle.
-Nooooooooooooo D:
-"No dying for anybody today!"
-Aaaaaand the moon motif!
-"Nope. They're fightin'."
-...how do you know, that, huh Kaito?
-Jirou with the interruption!
-Oh hey, Murasame-kun!
-What's up?
-"NO MURASAME, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND"
-AND THE FUCKING NINJA GUY'S BACK TOO
-Ohhhhh, he's back!
-Guess being one Hitotsu-ki type doesn't disqualify you from becoming another.
-What a chaotic battle this has become!
-I wanna know what's happening too, Tsubasa!
-THE JUTO HAVE COME
-Jesus Christ, is EVERYONE here?
-MANY HERE
-FUCKING SEYAMA
-(Not-so)-Friendly fire!
-Y'know, they're real good teammates, holding off all these dudes just so their leaders can have their date.
-They're patching each other up, I'm :sob:
-"My simile was cooler."
-So... that Don Clan created those guys, huh?
-I wonder... are they cut from the same cloth as the Donbrothers?
-"I AM SICK OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT IT'S MORBIN TIME"
-Good job, Murasame!
-Everybody just straight up dipped gkhj
-Oh hey, we're finally doing it double mecha style!
-Ohhhhhhhh, you fuckers it's their song!
-Finally we're having a proper duel between men.
-.
-Holy shit, Momoi.
-Sonoi...
-He got what he wanted, I suppose.
-Yeah, take him home Murasame-kun.
-Wow, we're having a wacky art heist next episode, huh?
-Next episode!
-Tsubasa! Dog thievin'!
-Man, Inoue really likes In Medias Res right now, huh?
-Cops. Of course.
-Oh, who might you be Miss?
-Oh shit, Sayama quit.
-That's nice, I guess.
-Mizuho, huh?
-T
-Tutelage
-She's really willing to pay.
-Ah.
-Wanna be a phantom thief, huh? Like the ones everybody talks about?
-"This only happens on TV shows and video games nobody shuts the fuck up about!"
-SHE WROTE HER FUCKING NAME ON IT
-GIRL WHAT
-A priceless piece of work for the Hitotsu-ki.
-She's hesitating :o
-Aota Takeo...
-We don't even know where it is, huh?
-Damn, girl!
-Put up for auction?
-Rich girl~!
-"Himitsu".
-"Go to the auction and win this for me. I will have it look fantastic."
-Oh come on, you didn't even get Tsubasa a pair of shades and a change of clothes? That seems like it'd be helpful.
-Oh, Tsuyoshi~! You're here for a big score, huh?
-There it is.
Shinichi: "Now there's a pretty picture"
Haruka: "I'm sure you'd say the same thing if the guy painted himself, huh?"
-3 million yen!
-4.5 million!
-5 million!
-5.5 million!
-Guess she was a
-6.5 million!
-6.7 Million!
-"First time I've modeled... for a second time!"
-Whoaaaaa, hey, bondage?
-8 million!
-KIBIDANGO
-This is quite the tale.
-TSUYOSHI
-GOSEN
-HOLY SHIT 50 MILLION
-Sano-sama.
-This man's gonna die.
-HOLY SHIT SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO FAKE IT
-A copy!?
-That man.
-The apprentice.
-Protecc the painting
-Stealing the true painting.
-Lying son of a bitch.
-Hey, back off buddy.
-Goddammit Haruka.
-Naptime.
-"The dog!"
-Aaaaaaaand, here he comes!
-Doggy too strong!
-Automatic doors. The bane of every busy man.
"Bird catch!"
-Jirou here!
-Jirou feral.
-His eyes glowed purple there, huh?
-Here we go!
-We're becoming all the way one!
-Dai Gattai!
-Toradora Onitaijin!
-The fireworks are a booming!
-Hahaha! Sally forth!
-Donbrothers Fantasia!
-Transcendent win for the ages!
-Gotta burn it, huh?
-Man...
-Tsubasa cares so much about that love, huh?
-"WE GOT IT"
-ghjluio'pj
-Ohhhhh, Murasame-san...
-Ah, I see... so he's well and truly gone, hmm?
-The Ideon warrior known as Sonoi has perished from his duel with Don Momotaro. I suppose time will tell how Sononi and Sonoza will process this loss.
-Right, I'm... almost done with my catch up. I'll just need time to decompress, have dinner, and then we'll check in on our friends in Oishi-na Town. Together. Like we used to :)
-Right, see you tonight then, I suppose
#avataro sentai donbrothers#super sentai#donbrothers#don! don! it's a full-force peachy festival!#donbrothers spoilers
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
yohan + physical tough + trauma response
disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.
also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.
so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.
so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.
yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.
episode one
the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.
later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.
next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.
i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:
yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.
if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.
we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.
the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.
and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.
him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.
episode two
we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.
later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.
okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.
so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.
of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.
yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.
anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.
and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.
with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.
so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.
then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?
episode three
yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.
and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.
and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.
and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.
and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.
it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.
episode four
i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.
this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.
what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.
after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).
basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.
then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.
tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.
yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.
later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.
but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.
to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.
i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.
so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:
because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.
and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.
and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.
and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?
the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.
and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.
you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.
episode six
so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.
after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.
additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.
the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.
and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.
the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.
because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.
but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.
but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.
to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.
but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.
episode seven
the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.
and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.
episode eight
the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.
we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.
and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.
additional thoughts
i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.
the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.
yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes
day flings
he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex
inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself
he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason
and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:
i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.
yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.
lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.
“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).
“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).
“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”
yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.
yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.
and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.
and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lore/Meta Analysis Time
So, after watching all four of today’s streams, I’m left wondering and theorizing about a few things. Mainly, why make the choice to have c!Dream fake an escape? Why not, a) go through with it, or b) leave off on c!Techno escaping back to the Syndicate HQ?
Personally, I think that the whole point was to get the audience familiarized with the protocols of what would happen if c!Dream escapes -- like what the alarm sounds like for example, as Quackity continuously brought up Sam’s alarm even outside of complaining about the volume -- that way when c!Dream does escape -- whether or not c!Techno breaks him out -- there will be doubt about it, and the audience will have context needed to make the moment more impactful.
I think it was smart to tease the escape, that way the audience knows what an actual escape will look like and that way the prison arc is pushed back into relevancy after three months of no lore. It’s a brilliant segway on the cc’s part to get things heating up again without chucking a huge escape on an audience who has been in a lore drought for so long, and it also opened up a lot of possibilities for future lore for many characters. As of right now, c!Dream’s escape might stay limited to the Las Nevadas crew, or the news might just spread to others if c!Sam keeps his word not to spill about c!Dream’s actual whereabouts, which can pull in other characters like Tommy, Ranboo, Wilbur, and hopefully also people like Niki and Eret and Sapnap who haven’t really dipped into the prison arc at all (and I know cc!Eret wanted back into lore and this could be a good opportunity!)
Bouncing off that, I think it’s super interesting that c!Dream does not want c!Quackity to know he is alive and contained. While he says he is afraid of c!Quackity killing him, I doubt that’s why. I think that c!Dream knows how to play to c!Sam’s weaknesses a lot better than he does c!Quackity. c!Quackity is much more resistant to c!Dream’s tactics, or at least better at recognizing them. He also has less weaknesses that c!Dream can exploit verbally, whereas c!Sam has made it clear that he still harnesses a lot of guilt and anger about c!Tommy and what c!Dream did to him. c!Quackity has also exploited this guilt before to manipulate c!Sam into letting him bring weapons into the prison -- it works well. With c!Sam isolated away from c!Quackity’s influence, he is much easier for c!Dream to manipulate, and he might even start falling back into his previous, more detached Warden persona, which would be even better for c!Dream. With c!Quackity out of the picture, c!Sam has succeeded in isolating himself both to c!Dream and also to the responsibility of keeping c!Dream in check. While his resilience seems strong so far, likely fueled by anger about c!Tommy, only time can tell whether or not that will hold true.
But what does c!Dream want from c!Sam in that scenario? I think it’s literally to go to the courtyard like he asked. He pitched it in a way that made it seem like he was yearning for the sun again, and he exaggerated the isolation by bringing up the other inhumane protocols of the prison like the food of choice. While c!Sam called him on his bullshit, c!Dream admitted that he didn’t think he’d end up in the cell, which I think is true. I think that he predicted he might need to get out of the prison somehow, but not that he’d end up in the maximum security cell, and that that failsafe is planted in the courtyard that c!Sam shut down because of a vague “security issue.” We also know that c!Dream left c!Techno coordinates that lead to a chest containing blueprints and a note. These are likely c!Dream’s original blueprints, as this stream it was stressed about c!Dream’s immense involvement in designing the prison. And it likely contains an escape route linked to the courtyard, or something of the other. I doubt it’d be something like a stasis chamber, as that’d be kind of lazy. Not to mention that that would also eliminate the use of actual blueprints. If c!Techno goes forward with busting c!Dream out, I think it’ll be after c!Dream whittles down c!Sam’s resilience and pleads his way into the courtyard somehow. It’s simply been teased too much both on Twitter, by c!Quackity as he tried to get out of the prison, and c!Dream himself. I’m willing to bet that c!Dream either called in his favor, or exploited c!Techno’s firm belief in absolute reciprocity in order to get c!Techno to break him out, as the favor was mentioned by either c!Sam or c!Quackity (can’t remember.)
And then let’s move onto to c!Quackity, who’s dead set on c!Dream going after Las Nevadas once he’s out. And while I have no doubt that that is one of c!Dream’s priorities -- he is very good at exploiting specific weaknesses, and he knows that c!Quackity has lost basically every home he’s ever had -- I think that c!Quackity’s paranoia was a massive red herring as to what c!Dream actually will make his first priority. cc!Sam mentioned that Logstedshire would become plot-relevant again, and c!Tommy was brought up a lot during the stream, and so I think that while the narrative may paint it in a way that seems like c!Dream and c!Quackity are going to have some sort of war (or battle, if c!Quackity’s “battle log” is any indication), I think that that is just smoke and mirrors for the actual outcome. I have no doubt that c!Tommy is definitely about to be targeted, especially as c!Sam continues to bring up c!Dream’s treatment of c!Tommy, which he can likely spin into c!Tommy’s fault for him being subject to that in the first place. This would likely drag c!Wilbur back into the mix if c!Dream goes after c!Tommy, because the whole “Dream is my hero thing” has been set up to get challenged, and without c!Tommy blantantly dropping the details of exile onto c!Wilbur, I can’t see what would be a better challenge then c!Dream literally being out and c!Wilbur having to deal with that as well.
But yeah, this is basically my predictions as to where the SMP is going from here, at least involving Las Nevadas and the prison arc. Hopefully we’ll see many other arcs and characters get intertwined with this. It’d be a cool parallel to the end of the Disc War finale, and hopefully the Syndicate won’t erase all of the characters’ development in order to make it some epic Dream & Syndicate vs. Tommy, Las Nevadas, and etc. It would be cool though for c!Phil and c!Techno to go through with breaking c!Dream out and then regretting or seeing why they definitely shouldn’t have done that. Maybe we can even have some Bedrock Bros content since there have been tons of parallels and contrasts with c!Techno being imprisoned with c!Dream and c!Tommy being imprisoned with c!Dream (like the dog, for example. Also the motif of hope being inside of Pandora’s vault/box). Also please give us some exile arc details reveal or Dream’s mega evil plan for server control reveal (to Techno + Syndicate specifically) because I have wanted this for monthssss. c!Techno you want to realize that c!Dream literally wanted to take Carl from you soooooo bad.
TL;DR: This lore stream was epic and I think it’s a huge setup for some other major events and it also gave us so much character insight that I am actually vibrating with theory overload as I write this.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yancy x Illinois - First Impressions Aren’t Always the Best
I decided to try properly writing Yanois, just to see how I’d manage it. After rewatching Illinois’ scenes, I think he would get on the nerves of the Yancy I write at first.
Word Count 2,122
(Read more because Illinois talks so much...)
-
Happy Trails Penitentiary was renowned for its rehabilitation initiatives. They had a wide variety of classes and visitors to help prisoners. Educational courses, chances to learn new skills, pen pal projects. Many prisoners would never have the opportunity for such experiences, and it was an integral part of helping them prepare for a better life outside of prison when their sentence was finished.
There was one visitor that most prisoners in Yancy’s ‘Gang’ adored. His name was Illinois, a renowned adventurer and archaeologist. Between his job in the university and research trips, he only had time to visit once every few months. It worked in his favour, as those that wanted to visit were able to to hear the various stories that Illinois was more than happy to tell. Not only that, it would encourage the small ‘fan club’ among the younger prisoners.
It was one of the few events that Yancy avoided. Something about Illinois rubbed him the wrong way. He was so arrogant and cocky, acting like the world revolved around him. It wasn’t an act, either. Yancy had spotted Illinois speaking to the Warden on his first visit two years earlier, and he acted the exact same way as he did in the talk that happened that day. After that, Yancy decided he didn’t want anything to do with the adventurer. But if Illinois were to ever become an inmate? Yancy would make sure Illinois had the snot beaten out of him within the first week.
Unfortunately, a lot of the Gang were of the opposite view, especially those around Yancy’s age. To them, Illinois walked straight out of an adventure movie and lived the ideal life. What prisoner didn’t dream of going exploring in uncharted territories? It meant that they would frequently share Illinois’ tales in rec yard when he came to visit. Yancy would roll his eyes, but keep quiet. Let them have their fun.
Today was the day that Illinois visited the prison. It had been over three months since the last visit, so there was an excited buzz among individuals in the Gang. Yancy spent the morning bracing himself. There was a talk after lunch that the others would go to, which would mean the rest of the afternoon and evening would be nothing but historical chatter and “Illinois is so cool!”. He would grumble, but he would keep that to himself. It wasn’t fair to deflate their excitement. He went to the library, found some random book and focused on that for the day. Then, once they had their excitement, it would die down and Yancy could enjoy more casual conversation.
Which was the plan… Until Bam-Bam pleaded for him to go to the last talk of the day. It turned out that his shift clashed with the talk everyone else they knew went to, and he didn’t want to go alone. Begrudgingly, Yancy closed the book, returned it to the shelf, and followed Bam-Bam. A flaw of being a loyal friend was knowing when to swallow your pride and do something you would rather not do.
-
When you go to something with low expectations, it can be incredibly difficult to feel the time was used in a worthwhile manner. Some might have memories of a teacher they hated, or a family gathering they had been dreading. This was a similar position to what Yancy found himself in. One of the ‘classrooms’ had been adjusted slightly to allow various displays to take center stage, with the chairs in neat rows in front of it. Bam-Bam and Yancy claimed two seats at the back, allowing the greaser to slouch in the chair with his arms crossed. Then, once more prisoners had arrived, the talk began.
On and on Illinois went, droning endlessly in that slow drawl. Yancy wished he had a TV remote to speed up the talking a fraction. Was Illinois focused on making sure everyone could understand him, or did he want to prolong the joy of hearing himself talk? It might have been more tolerable if Bam-Bam wasn’t genuinely engrossed in the lecture. They could have made amusing comments throughout. Instead, Yancy was stuck. Sure, history was interesting, but Illinois really drove home the stereotype of boring history teachers. The ‘adventures’ even sounded cliché and fake. Maybe he should have taken the book with him after all...
A painfully slow half hour passed. Once the talk was over, Illinois would literally open the floor to the other prisoners. The chairs would be pushed aside and those that wanted to look at the items Illinois brought were welcome to do so. Yancy was dragged along to view the pieces. Most of the articles were dated to be approximately eight thousand years old. What caught Bam-Bam’s attention was a stone carving that vaguely resembled a cat.
“Ahhh, I see the ‘White Jaguar’ has caught your attention.” Yancy had to repress a shudder at the smooth voice interrupting their own questions back and forth. Illinois stepped over, resting an arm against the perspex container. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she? A miracle we even found her in the first place. She was why I wasn’t able to visit like I said I would last month.” Bam-Bam’s eager question had Illinois chuckle and shake his hand dismissively. “Oh, I’m sure you two gentlemen have much better things to do than hear about how I nearly lost my right hand in my most recent adventure.” When Bam-Bam insisted otherwise, Illinois smirked (and Yancy nearly gagged).
“If you insist. While on our recent dig, I noticed one of the ruins had a floor panel that looked a little different from the rest. It took a little persuasion, but I got that pesky stone up. There, sprawled out before me, was a staircase leading down into the earth. I picked up one of the torches and made my way down. Slowly, I delved deeper into the darkness. One step gave way under me to set off a series of poison-dipped darts, but I was able to dodge them all without breaking a sweat.” Illinois continued, dramatically regaling every single trap that he encountered until he found the White Jaguar. When taking everything around it, he surmised that the owner of the house had been a thief. The jaguar motif was familiar, as he had noticed something similar in a nearby cave that had been repurposed at the time as a sacred spot.
“- Now, this heart of this cave was still guarded by ancient jaguar spirits. They rattled the large statues as I approached, obviously sensing the treasure I carried. In the middle, there was a jaguar’s head carved out of stone. Its jaw was open wide and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was just the right spot for this precious lady. But then, skeletons of what I assume were magic users from an era long gone by pounced and tried to wrestle the statue off me, but I was too fast for them. At last, I reached the carved head, put the White Jaguar in the mouth… and the stone head moved, trapping my arm in a ferocious bite!” He gestured to the cloth wrapped around his right wrist. It was unwrapped just enough to show the healing bite marks. “It had the strength to bite it clean off, but relented when it realised what I had done by offering my arm as blood payment to return -”
“Wait wait wait.” Yancy’s interruption had Bam-Bam elbow him, but it didn’t stop the objection. “That can’t be right. If youse managed to bring this back to where it’s meant to be, why the fuck is it here?”
“An excellent question. This is my recreation of it. I am no thief. I return artefacts to where they belong. Archaeology has a rotten connection with thievery, and I try to rectify the mistakes of my predecessors.”
“So then this entire thing could be bullshit!” Yancy scoffed. “Bam-Bam, this guy just got bitten by someone’s dog and has made this pile of baloney to hide that.”
“Are you accusing me of being a liar?”
“Well, I ain’t calling you a ‘truther’, that’s for sure!”
Yancy was ready for a proper argument. In fact, he was hoping for one. Instead… Illinois laughed, and it wasn’t that typical ‘cocky chuckle’. It was a bright, genuine laugh. He could almost see Bam-Bam go starry-eyed at such a rare moment. Typical Yancy. Getting more attention from Illinois when he wanted to rile him up.
“I suppose it all does sound rather suspicious when you put it that way. Let me show you something.” Illinois gestured for the pair to follow him toward a display of photographs. Instead of pointing to these, he instead reached for his briefcase. A small photo album was pulled out. Yancy noticed that it was dated three months prior. While Illinois flipped through it, both prisoners could see what looked like an area that had been dug up. It matched the pictures in front of them of an excavation site. At last, Illinois found what he was looking for.
“One Guardian Jaguar, complete with the White Jaguar in its mouth. As you can see, the teeth have fresh blood on them. It was an… Oddly tranquil sight, despite the unfortunate situation.”
“So then why act like these are the real deal? People just take youse’s word for it?”
“Normally those that attend my talks know that what I show are my artistic recreations for purely educational purposes. I suppose I do take for granted that those who attend here are invested regulars.” Illinois gave a small shrug. “It’s an easy mistake to forget to remind people who might be new to my talks. I’m sorry if you thought I was a fraud, but I am the real deal. Too good to be true, yet here I am.”
“Yeah yeah, ‘sucks that I’m perfect as shit’, I get it. Least you knows not to make that mistake again.” Yancy rocked back on his heel with the intention of turning and walking away.
“Now now. I can’t let you walk off like that. Take this.” Another item was pulled out of his briefcase. “I made this smaller model of the White Jaguar as a ‘first draft’. I was intending on using it as motivation to my first-year students but… I think it should stay here with you.” Illinois took the opportunity to reach for Yancy’s hand. The small clay model was gently placed in it before Illinois curled Yancy’s fingers over it to keep it in place. His hands stayed where they were as he continued, “We think the White Jaguar was a symbol of good fortune. Perhaps it might bring you some good luck.” He smiled at Yancy, only to have the moment broken by the guard announcing that there were five minutes before the prisoners had to return to their cells for the afternoon count. Yancy took the chance to quickly leave the room without as much as a ‘goodbye’. At least his friend, who introduced himself as Bam-Bam, quickly thanked Illinois before darting out.
A few more questions were asked of him by other prisoners and curious staff; and then it was time to tidy up to bring everything back to the university. It was only when he reached the White Jaguar model did Illinois hesitate. There was something about that abrasive prisoner he couldn’t put his finger on. Was it because he seemed uninterested in the adventurer? Or was there something else? It was a rare moment that Illinois wished he’d had an excuse to chat to the prisoner longer. Maybe not here, but somewhere quieter. Just the two of them.
Huh… Was this what an attraction felt like? He joked about others falling in love with him so often, he wasn’t sure if this was payback for never returning interest in others. He was drawn toward a prisoner that seemed keen to dismiss his hard work and reputation. And worse! Illinois didn’t even know his name!
Then again… A good adventurer always loves the thrill of a mystery. Maybe he could try and find that prisoner next time he visited. Now that the university was open again, he’d be able to drop by more frequently…
--
For what it was worth, Yancy also had a mystery on his hands.
Namely, how to get away from Bam-Bam - who would not SHUT UP about their prolonged conversation with Illinois - and half the gang - who were incredibly jealous Yancy got a gift from the Illinois!
He dropped his head against the chow hall table with a low ‘thunk’. This was the opposite of getting the others to stop talking about Illinois around him!
#writersofmark#yancy#illinois ahwm#yanois#markiplier egos#(read-more is for tidiness! :D )#dramatic prisoner (Yancy)#cocky adventurer (Illinois)
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
Marrow! :D
Send me a RWBY character and I’ll tell you:
Marrow Amin
My top three ships for the character
Adam/Marrow (bulldogs), Weiss/Marrow (huskies), Marrow/Ruby (dog biscuits)
My three least favorite ships for the character
May/Marrow (Marrowgold), Nora/Marrow (Helheim Hounds), Blake/Marrow (Lone Wolf)
My biggest criticism for the character
‘Poor uwu Marrow baby needs to be redeemed from the evil Atlas military-’ NO. BULLSHIT. FUCK THAT.
Also, Marrow being like ‘they’re just kids they shouldn’t be on the battlefield sadface’ then don’t stand there looking sad about it and kill Grimm! Eejit!
My favorite thing about the character
He flips! I love his flips! Flipping everywhere and throwing his boomerang, good on him. His balance is good and he deserves more flips.
A headcanon I have about them
Tattoos. Marrow designs his own tattoos and then gets them, he uses them to memorialise important positve milestones. A constellation on his back for getting accepted into Atlas Academy, a wave pattern on the side of his neck for graduating with honours, a beowulf skull on his shoulder for becoming an Ace-Op, a few others here and there, small ones for smaller victories.
What I would change about them if I was making a re-write
oh definitely would change the fact that he’s a massive dog joke. I’d first have him acknowledge the microagressions that keep getting shot at him, I’d at least change his allusion, maybe change his weapon name, give him character beyond ‘dog joke’
What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it
I think it’s dumb! :)
Again, it’s all a big dog joke with Marrow. He’s a dog-based fable, haha. And also, the dog and the reflection doesn’t really fit him. What would I change it to though? Hm, that’s a tough one. Again, the whole ‘fact that he’s a dog’ means that if you want to escape that you’d have to give up on some of the more common ideas in fae mythology of the Black Dog motif or the Cù-sìth, but neither of those really work for Marrow anyway, they’d only work because ‘dog’.
So as of right now, I don’t yet have a proper allusion for Marrow. I’m leaning, possibly, towards Knockers from Celtic (or general European) mythology (Tommyknockers in the US, iirc), which are not to be confused with Coblynau who are also mine spirits. But then, it might also be fun to look at possibly having him tie more to an idea of the Wild Hunt. I’m still workshopping it, basically.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicio 11/?
Part 10
Gerry gives a dry, humorless snort as he sits up on the chair, and Jon lets go of his face to give him more movement. "It's- she was fond of me, she says." Jon stiffens, when Gerry's forehead lands softy on his stomach. "Where was that when she was making my page?"
"...I don't know." Jon whispers, bringing his arms to rest across Gerry's shoulders. "I- there are a lot of things I don't understand about her."
Gerry's arms tighten around his waist. "Of course. Night and day." His voice is muffled against Jon's sweatert, his breath filtering through the fabric, searing hot against Jon's skin.
"You loved her." Jon says, not really asking what he already knows.
"It didn't matter, in the end." Gerry snorts again. It sounds like it did. Like it does.
XI
The fact that the Institute building is so beautiful when it holds so much horror is both very fitting and very jarring, Georgie thinks.
Once you know what you're looking for, you can see the subtle eyes carved amongst the leafy motifs wrapping around the exterior pillars, and the unnerving gaze of the rounded window above the double oak doors.
She doesn't go too close despite the pouring rain, preferring instead to lean against a lamppost across the street and text Melanie that she's already there. This is how she gets a first row seat, partly hidden behind her large umbrella, when Jonathan Sims comes down the street towards this terrible place.
With him is a man she's heard plenty about, tall and broad-shouldered, with long black hair and blue-green eyes. The hand he's not using to hold an umbrella above their heads is deep inside the pocket of Jon's coat, along with his own; Jon is leaning against his arm in that way Georgie knows means he wants you to hold him closer.
That last thought draws a sigh out of her, as the two men draw closer to the Institute. Jon has always been a complicated subject, but he's so much more so lately. Georgie loves him, but she's also terribly aware that every time she allows herself to care, she comes out burned. Just earlier this year she had to sit by his bedside wondering if he would ever wake up again, and if it would really be better if he did.
They seem to be saying goodbye now, and Georgie can feel the tension from here. Jon is tilting his chin up and slightly to the side, but also leaning slightly away from the man, who's leaning towards Jon, but retreats after a moment, taking a deep breath. Jon lets their hands fall apart as he climbs the steps towards the Institute. The man watches him disappear behind the door, and Georgie starts crossing the street.
"Hey." The man doesn't flinch at her voice, and Georgie wonders if he knew she was watching. "You're Jon's Gerry, right?"
The man snorts with a hint of resigned humor. "Yeah. I guess that's the only of putting it. You're Georgie?"
"The very one." Georgie nods. "Melanie has told me about you."
"Has she? I'm almost afraid to ask." Gerry smiles at the name, and Georgie finds herself mirroring it. "You look well. Jon will be happy to know."
Georgie sighs. "Actually... please don't tell him you saw me."
"Oh?" Gerry arches an eyebrow.
"I don't- we're not really talking anymore." Georgie shrugs. It's painful to say aloud, because Jon grows on you, with his rare smiles and his quiet gestures of love. Every time she lets him back in, it's a battle to rip him out.
"Huh. I thought he'd stayed with you last year while-"
"While the police looked for him, yes." Georgie crosses her free arm over her chest.
"That's... you do know he didn't do it, don't you?" Gerry frowns.
"Wouldn't have let him into my house if I didn't believe him. I just-" Georgie's gaze drifts towards the Institute. While it -like anything else, really- doesn't inspire any fear in her, she can hardly ignore what she knows about it. "I don't really approve of his decision to stay involved in all of this."
Before her, Gerry stiffens. "Excuse me, his what?" His eyes harden.
Georgie scoffs. "I'm not sure how long you've been here for, but Jon is very self destructive."
"Oh no, trust me, I know." The man shakes his head, and Georgie knows there's a story there. "But calling it his 'decision' is-"
"Listen, I'm not interested in discussing it," Georgie says, shaking her head. "I saw Jon recording his creepy stories even when he didn't have to, when I asked him to stop, and now Melanie's trapped here because-"
"Because you brought her here," the man snarls, and Georgie freezes.
"Excuse me?" she asks, her voice low and dangerous.
"Wasn't it you who told her where to give her statement? You're flinging a lot of bullshit accusations around for someone who doesn't even know-"
"Georgie?" Melanie's voice drips down on them colder than any rain could be. "Gerry? What's going on?"
Gerry's face does soften when he looks at Melanie, who descends the stairs and slips her hand into Georgie's like a reverse of the scene she just witnessed from across the street.
"Nothing. You should talk to her." He turns around then, and starts the walk back up the street, without a single look back.
"...What happened?" Melanie asks, squeezing her hand and looking up at her with a frown.
Georgie forces her body to relax, the man's last accusation still echoing in her mind. She looks back at Melanie, taking in the worried curve of her brows, the raindrops shimmering in her hair, the bags under her eyes from the nightmares. She loves her, Georgie thinks, she has for a while. Was this really all her fault?
"Melanie?"
"Yes?"
Georgie knows, really, that it is her ignorance as well as her lack of fear that has kept her somewhat safe from this world her loved ones move in; it's becoming increasingly difficult though, to stay that way. "I need you to tell me everything."
--------------------
"What are you thinking?" Melanie asks, reaching a hand to intertwine their fingers together. "It's a lot to take in."
"It's true." Georgie looks down at her cold, untouched meal, replaying Melanie's story in her mind. "If I hadn't suggested you give Jon your statement-"
"Elias would have found me some other way," Melanie says immediately. "I- it's not even like I was marked already when I first came to the Institute. I think what really matters is that I came back, once I was. It's- really, nobody forced me to go around looking for more ghosts, Georgie. I just had to know. The Eye... it really is subtle."
Georgie runs a hand through her hair. This is- all of this, it's too much. "Is there really no way to stop it?"
Melanie pokes at her own half-eaten panini. "Not- I mean, I'm not controlled by the Slaughter anymore. But I signed the contract. That's- as far as we know, we're trapped in there. Jon says he and Daisy sort of were human again when they were in the coffin, but that's another dimension. I don't think there's a way to break it, not while we're alive."
She mulls this over for a moment. So... so Jon wasn't just being difficult when he said he couldn't stop recording the statements, or when he got his hand burnt. He- it's like all the frustration she's been harboring towards him the past year has congealed into a viscous, disgusting knot at the bottom of her stomach.
'You don't even have the credentials to be the head archivist', Georgie had said. It's terrible to know that that's probably the reason why Jon was offered the job in the first place. Jon, who's always doubted himself, and overcompensates by throwing himself head-first into things. Almost too easy, like throwing a stray dog a sausage stuffed with crushed glass, and watching it die painfully because it gave in to the need to eat.
"You don't have to just... like him again, you know?" Melanie reaches out to lay her hand on Georgie's. "I don't. I just- this is Elias' game."
And yet the only thought in Georgie's mind is that she left the hospital room without saying goodbye, and the dozens of unread texts and ignored calls in her phone. The fact that they stopped coming, when it became clear they weren't well-received.
"I- let's talk of something else, please," Georgie mutters, nearly begs. Were the nights on her sofa the last peaceful rest Jon had? "Did- did I show you this picture of-"
"Georgie, you're shaking-" Melanie mutters, and Georgie's voice cracks. "I- tell me what's wrong. Please."
But she can't, can she? Distancing from Jon was the right decision, even he probably agrees with that. Still, Georgie can't get rid of the feeling that Jon was reaching out a hand while he drowned, and she just watched him go under.
"I just- I need a moment. Please."
She doesn't look up when Melanie moves her chair beside her, but Georgie does lean into her embrace. This at least she's sure of.
"All the time you need." Melanie says, patient in a way Georgie knows is non-existent with anyone else. "I'm here."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Everything feels different about statements, lately.
The ones at the Institute never feel like the ones he gets fresh off the source, of course, but even reading those old stale ones, or listening to Gertrude's recordings, bring forth a barrage of information that leaves Jon feeling as though he just finished a well-seasoned meal.
Exactly ninety-eight prisoners were 'freed' from the Japanese encampment by the Nemesis. A hundred and twenty two Japanese soldiers killed each other to the beat of the drums, and some of their hearts were still beating as their recently liberated prisoners stepped over their bodies to go meet the boats at the shore.
Leonard Holden's last thought, as he twisted Milton Gallagher's neck, was that the commander officer was right, and this was really just like killing chickens back at the farm. When the bayonet first stabbed into his back, he let out not a scream of fear, but the bestial bray of a pig after you slit its throat. He never stopped tapping his feet to the Piper's music.
He barely registers the sound of his door opening and closing, his eyes focused -but unseeing- on the tape recorder on the desk.
As Gertrude moves on with her suppositions, Jon can See the Spider's webs all over the Nemesis, obscuring it from those who could have fed more violence into its fire.
"Doesn't help with the Unknowing, though," Gertrude says, and Jon gives a bitter smile, leaning back against the wide, warm hand that comes to rest at his nape.
"I don't suppose it would." Jon brings a hand of his own to cup the back of his neck, and Gerry intertwines their fingers together.
"Dekker always did have fun ideas," Gerry chuckles.
"Gerard may have a connection to the Eye, but I'm not sure it's enough... besides, I must admit I've grown fond of the boy."
Oh shit.
Jon scrambles to stop the tape, but Gerry reaches it first, and puts his weight on Jon's shoulder to keep him from getting up.
"Gerry, don't-"
"I do wonder sometimes, if I should tell him about Eric. He might decide to follow in his father's footsteps, but it's not like it did Eric any good in the end... Anyway, point is..." Gertrude continues to ramble on, but Jon couldn't care less about what else she has to say as he pushes his chair back. Gerry's grip on his shoulder has grown lax, as he stares at the tape recorder in his hand with a raised eyebrow.
"Gerry-"
"What does she mean, my father's footsteps?" Gerry's eyes, confused and hurt, fix on his when Jon climbs to his feet. "Jon?"
"I- I don't know." Jon closes his eyes, but the Watcher won't volunteer any information. He digs harder, but is only shoved back with the same ferocity with which knowledge is forced into his head. "Gerry I- oh!"
When he parts his eyelids again, twin streams of ink are flowing down from Gerry's nostrils, and Jon wipes at them with his sleeve.
"Your shirt-"
"Stop it," Jon snaps. "What makes you think it will let you Know, if it won't let me? Sit- just stay still already!" he bats away at Gerry's hand, pulling and pushing at him until Gerry's sitting on his chair and Jon stands between his legs, dabbing at the still flowing ink. "Stop trying to-"
"Jon, I can't!" Gerry snaps, wrapping a hand around each of Jon's wrists to pull them away from his face. "Do you even- what does she mean?!"
"Gerry, I don't know." Slowly, very slowly, Jon moves his hands to cup Gerry's face; his eyes are still unfocused, his breathing wild, and the ink is starting to run down his neck. "Please stop. You're hurting yourself." Jon's voice is very nearly begging, but he couldn't care less because Gerry's eyes finally focus on him.
Gerry lets go of his wrists, and Jon's heart skips a beat when his hands come to rest at Jon's hips almost tentatively.
"Doesn't-" Gerry starts, then clears his throat when his voice comes out hoarse and rough. "It's not fun when it's someone else, huh?" he asks, his breathing still coming in long, shaky pulls.
"I- I suppose it's not." Jon slides his thumb over Gerry's cheekbone in an awkward gesture that he hopes transmits comfort. "Are you alright?"
Gerry gives a dry, humorless snort as he sits up on the chair, and Jon lets go of his face to give him more movement. "It's- she was fond of me, she says." Jon stiffens, when Gerry's forehead lands softy on his stomach. "Where was that when she was making my page?"
"...I don't know." Jon whispers, bringing his arms to rest across Gerry's shoulders. "I- there are a lot of things I don't understand about her."
Gerry's arms tighten around his waist. "Of course. Night and day." His voice is muffled against Jon's sweatert, his breath filtering through the fabric, searing hot against Jon's skin.
"You loved her." Jon says, not really asking what he already knows.
"It didn't matter, in the end." Gerry snorts again. It sounds like it did. Like it does.
Jon digs a hand in Gerry's hair at the base of his neck, a mirror of the gesture Gerry uses on him all the time.
"I think it matters. I- I don't think Gertrude could afford to care, Gerry, but these recordings- they were for her." She couldn't have expected anyone would find them in her mess of an Archive, for sure. "She cared for you."
Gerry flinches like the words are yet another blow, and Jon tightens his grip on him, this man who only ever wanted to do good with his life, and who was hurt in return every time.
This man who is his now, something dark and slithery whispers at the back of Jon's mind, to correct the damage, to protect and comfort, if only he was powerful enough.
It's really hard to ignore the Beholding, when it speaks Jon's thoughts aloud.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin waits until the woman leaves, before he heaves a long, tired sigh.
This is... Less than ideal. He gives the whirring tape recorder an accusing glare and a shake of his head.
"Don't just 'brrrrr' at me. What are you doing, Jon?" he snaps. "Are you just- preying on people now? What am I supposed to do with this?!" He can't give it to Basira or Melanie, they'll kill him before they give him a chance to explain. Martin runs a hand through his hair.
There is someone else isn't it?
It's a dreadful thought, but after talking to the- to Jon's victim, he feels human enough to realize it's the Lonely feeling it, not him. Gerard is... whatever he is, he's helping. With Jon.
Martin pockets the tape recorder, and locks the door to Peter's office before starting down the corridor. It's relatively easy to follow in the specific direction the Lonely doesn't want him to go, but Martin feels another, lighter pull against his destination that he suspects might be the Eye.
"Of course you'd prefer him to keep doing it, wouldn't you?" Martin grumbles, glaring at one of the carved eyes in the masonry. "Well-"
"Are you talking to yourself?"
"Jesus!" Martin flinches, turning in time to see a smug smirk spread over Gerard's lips. "Could you stop doing that?!"
Gerard lifts both hands in surrender, his smirk still there and not apologetic in the least. "Sorry, sorry. It works just fine to get a bit of color back into you, though."
Martin huffs. "Well, don't. Anyways, I was looking for you."
"You were?" Gerard raises an eyebrow. "Got another Extinction statement?"
"No, actually..." and now that Martin has him before him, he's not really sure of how to put this into words. "Its- Jon has been taking statements," he says, shoving the tape in his direction. That's probably easy enough to understand right?
"O...kay? That's his job, isn't it?" Gerard does take the tape, but he's still giving Martin a quizzical look.
"No, I- he's- Gerard, he's been looking for statements. From people who don't come to the Institute to give them." And that's when he seems to catch on, because he grimaces, and lets out a low whistle. Martin nods. "A woman came to my office today, he- I think he compelled her."
Gerard looks down at the tape in his hand, the slightest curl of distaste at his lips. "How did she look? Was she...?"
Martin sighs again. "Said she's been having nightmares."
"Yeah..." Gerard shakes his head slowly. "That tracks."
"I just thought... he'll listen to you," Martin says, every word a little sting in his chest.
"He'd listen to you too," Gerard frowns, "I know you don't want to talk to him because of your isolation thing, but I think it would be better-"
"He loves you," Martin says simply. Like ripping a bandaid, if ripping a bandaid felt like tearing your skin off. He misses the numbness of the Lonely a little, but it's very unlikely he'd be able to call on it right now, not with Gerard right here.
"Whoa!" Gerard's eyebrows shoot up again, and a nervous chuckle escapes his lips as if it's been punched out of him. Martin doesn't miss the color rising on his face, and his lips twitch. "That's- you don't know that."
Martin rolls his eyes. "Gerard-"
"Actually, can you not... call me that?" Gerard interrupts. "It gets on my nerves. Just... Gerry's fine, alright?"
"Oh." Martin blinks. "Okay? What does that have to do with this?"
"Nothing. I just- listen, I've spent every single moment since I was brought back to life hearing about how bad Jon has it for you." Gerry pockets the tape recorder, and Martin wonders if it's really alright, that they went from talking about Jon's victims straight to discussing which one he's in love with. Maybe Peter wasn't that far off when he called the Archives a soap opera. "And it's very frustrating when you keep being as obtuse as possible about it."
"I can't exactly do anything about that, can I?" Martin rolls his eyes. "I'm supposed to be isolating myself to- to save humanity or something, and like we established before, he has you, so-"
"There's more than one way to do these things, you know?" Gerry speaks over him, and Martin has to stop on his tirade due to choking on absolutely nothing. Gerry pats him on the back, and Martin bats his hand away, face burning.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Martin asks.
Gerry groans. "You're impossible. I'll talk to him."
He stomps down the stairs to the Archives, and Martin stays there, mortified, confused and a bit exasperated, which is apparently becoming his usual state after any interaction with Gerry.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"I know you've been feeding." Gerry says once they've sat down at the café, because there is probably not a good way to tell the man you're in love with that the man he is in love with had to come to you so you'd ask him to stop feeding on the fear of innocents.
Across the table, Jon pales immediately. "I- how?" he stutters out, and Gerry wants more than anything to reach over and lay a hand on his to reassure him, but there are things that must be said first. "Who told you?"
"Martin did. He... there was a tape. Apparently someone came in to complain." Gerry reaches inside his jacket, only to find that the pocket is... empty. "Huh. Wait."
He pats the other pockets, as well as the ones on his jeans just in case, but the tape is just gone. Gerry frowns, confused, until the very clear memory of a yellow door at the bottom of a drawer pops up in his mind, and he groans.
"Why- what would Helen want that tape for?" Jon asks, and Gerry frowns at him when his eyes start to give off the faintest green glow.
"Don't do that. That's exactly why we're here, Jon."
"I- yes. Sorry." Jon sheepishly lowers his gaze to the table. "I... know. I know I shouldn't have done it," Jon sighs. "I just..." his elbows come to rest on the table, and he buries his face in his hands. He looks... small.
There are places of power, for people aligned with the Entities. Mooreland Manor for the Lukases, Ny-Alesünd for the Dark's freaks, and Gerry can't even think about Hilltop Road without getting a headache.
The Archives are like that for Beholders; Elias is never as powerful as he is when sitting behind his desk, but Martin put him in jail and that means Jon is the biggest dog at the Archives now. Here at the little coffeeshop, however, apologizing for his very existence, Jon has never looked more frail. It's a relief, really. He doesn't know what he'd have done if Jon had reacted differently.
It means he's still Jon, even after all that's happened.
When Gerry reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder, he's half afraid Jon will crumble to pieces under his fingers. Instead, the man's desperate gaze is aimed straight at him, and Gerry's relieved to notice it's not the bright green of the Archivist's eyes, but the sweet dark brown that looks at him over the edges of books at home.
"I don't know how to stop it. I don't even know why I'm doing it. It's- I don't want to hurt people." Jon says in the strained tone of a confession. "I- before the coffin, I knew I would need the strength, it was for Daisy. But after that I've just- it even made the statements a bit better, because I can Know more things about them-"
"Makes sense. Feeding regularly would make you more powerful." Gerry observes. Jon flinches back like the words had been a strike, and Gerry gives him a sympathetic shrug. "It's what you're doing; it's what Avatars do. At least people survive when you feed from them."
"That's... not helping." Jon's face looks pinched.
"No. I don't suppose it is." Gerry squeezes at his shoulder.
"I just- maybe I can live off of statements alone from now on. It's- they don't really.... but it's better, isn't it?" Jon asks, with the same fervor of a child insisting they can fix the toy they just broke.
"You don't have to stop." Jon's eyes widen at his words, narrowing in suspicion just a moment later. Gerry rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes. You do have to stop feeding off of innocent people, that's not debatable. I wouldn't let you, either. It will only make you change faster, and I'd like to think that's not what you want."
"Of course not!" Jon snaps, shrugging Gerry's hand off his shoulder with an indignant huff. "I don't- that's the opposite of what I want!"
"Mhm. Thought so." Gerry nods. "Feed from willing people, then. People who won't be afraid of you." Jon's face is still fairly flushed after his little outburst, and Gerry has the sudden, very distracting thought that he would very much like to kiss him. But he's got a purpose, at least for now, and most importantly, he doubts it's the purpose the Eye had for him. "Feed yourself, not the Watcher."
"I don't- is that how it works?" Jon frowns.
"Maybe? It can't hurt."
"That's- I don't think people like that exist, Gerry. Should I only take statements from Institute employees now? Basira won't hear of it, and I won't ask Daisy or Melanie. I'm not going to-"
"Well no, not them." Gerry feels a smile tugging at his lips. Jon is ridiculously blind sometimes, for someone on the cusp of becoming quasi-omniscient. "Start me off, come on"
"...What?" Jon asks, and Gerry doesn't bother holding his grin back. "Gerry, what on Earth are you-"
"Yeah. You know...." Gerry schools his face into stern determination and forces his voice into a deep, affected accent. "Statement of Gerry Keay, regarding-"
"Are you crazy?!" Jon snaps. Gerry doesn't miss the new hungry, predatory gleam in his eyes. Maybe if Gertrude had reached this stage of becoming the Archivist, Gerry would've had an easier time mistrusting her; but then again he's literally just offered himself up as a meal for Jon, so maybe his self-preservation instinct is just not great. "I'm not going to take a statement from you!"
"Why not? I've got them in spades." Gerry shrugs.
"Haven't you heard what happens to my statement givers?!" Jon insists, but Gerry can see his hands shaking, white-knuckled around the edge of the table. A dog before a steak that he knows he's not allowed to have.
Gerry chuckles. "I have nightmares all the time, Jon. This would just be choosing which episode I get to watch. And honestly? Having you there will add a bit of novelty, if you ask me."
"Novel- are you mad?" Jon is shaking. Gerry wants to hold him close and whisper in his ear about the time he set a Vast avatar on fire. "Gerry, you don't want me in your dreams, trust me."
Gerry leans an elbow on the table, resting his chin on his hand with a smile. "Maybe I do, you don't know that."
"Gerry!" The result is just as he expected, Jon goes red from neck to hairline, and Gerry gives him a wink. "I- that's-"
"Oh my God, he's flirting with you, you absolute moron," comes a new voice from somewhere next to their table. "No wonder you never noticed Martin wanted your sorry ass."
Gerry turns to face the newcomer, and his mind flares with alarms when his eyes land on the man's and the only thing he can see is fire. He was marked by the Stranger once, and the Eye as well; both marks have been burned away though, and they remain in his soul only as a reminder, with no real pull over him.
"Coffeeshop date and everything, statement included? You're getting lucky, Boss." The man speaks again, fixing Jon with an amused smirk, like this is a shared joke between them. Gerry can feel the temperature rise around them however, and see the barely concealed anger in his eyes.
It's not a look Gerry specially likes on a Desolation avatar looking at his Archivist.
Jon's face that was so flushed with color just a minute ago has gone pale, and Gerry tenses in preparation for a fight.
"... Tim?" Jon's voice is soft, almost... hopeful. After a moment though, his brow furrows, and his next words are grave and laced with a compulsion so heavy Gerry can taste the resentment as the words flow into his core. "Are you the real Timothy Stoker?"
The man's face contracts into a bitter mask as the compulsion washes over him. His body stiffens and his shoulders tense as he tries to resist the pull, but he fails, of course.
"Thought I'd hate it less now, but it's still the fucking worst." The man rolls his eyes, letting out a huff of steam. "I am. At least as much as you're, you know... you."
"The Desolation claimed you-" Jon doesn't really ask now. "At the Unknowing?"
"Big fan of my work, it looks like." Tim shrugs. "They buried my remains you know? The Desolation turned the whole grave into a cremation chamber for me to wake up. Climbed out just like that; I think I'm made of ash now."
And… yeah, that would explain the random fires they've been hearing about.
"So- so you're..." Jon starts, stops and clears his throat. "You're what, an avatar now? You're lik-"
"Boss, if you say 'like me' I'm going to punch you," the man interrupts him, and Jon's face tightens in pained recognition, like the threat of violence is much more credible as a confirmation of this man's identity than a compelled confession.
Maybe it is, and Gerry feels a burst of unreasonable irritation at the way Jon looks at his former assistant like he's both a ghost and a miracle, when Tim looks at Jon like he's a bug he'd like to step on.
"Tim... why are you here?" Jon asks. The compulsion is subtler this time, but still there.
"Honestly?" Tim asks, like he has any other choice. "I'm not sure. When I woke up, I wanted to see how the others were. Martin at least. Melanie, maybe. And..." he purses his lips, but doesn't manage to keep the rest of the words in. "I wanted to hurt you, if you were still alive."
Gerry stiffens in his chair, ready to hop up as soon as the man moves too abruptly. Across him, Jon looks... resigned. Like he'd known the answer before he even asked the question.
"Ah. Yes I- I can believe that." Jon sighs. "Are you going to?"
"He can certainly try," Gerry responds before Tim can even open his mouth, because he's getting sick of seeing Jon grovel for this guy's abuse.
"Gerry-"
"I'm not a hunter, but I've put out some fires before." Gerry speaks over Jon this time, his eyes fixed on Tim. He makes sure to lean back on his chair, and leave his chest open. Show this man that whatever fear he came looking for, he's not going to find here. "Molina died just fine with a scalpel."
Tim frowns, and much to Gerry's displeasure, looks much more confused than he does concerned. Something seems to click in his mind, because his eyes go the size of saucers, and he whips around to face Jon again.
"Gerard Keay?! The Gerard Keay?" he asks, and now it's Gerry who's confused. How does- "You're getting your freak on with the angry goth that shows up in every other statement? Isn't he supposed to be dead?"
Oh.
"I don't think either of us have any right to criticize anyone for not staying dead." Jon frowns. Gerry feels his mouth dry up; that's not the part he expected Jon to take issue with. "Now answer the question, please."
"Oh? Why don't you try your thing again? Don't really want to know?" Tim arches an eyebrow in challenge.
Jon rolls his eyes. "I know what you think of me, Tim. I'm not going to-"
"You literally just did it."
"Because I didn't know if you were... something else!" Jon snaps "I wanted to know if you meant harm to anyone in the Arch-"
"Oh, so you're the watchdog now?" Tim takes another step towards the table, and Gerry's napkin begins to smoke. "You keep everyone safe, you protect them?" He asks. His words are laced with mockery, striking like a cracking whip.
"I try-" Jon stutters angrily, only to be interrupted once more.
"Well isn't that great? You're definitely good at that, Boss, it's not like you've gotten what? Four people killed already?" Tim snarls. Gerry puts his napkin out with a couple pats, but he finds himself realizing he's not too worried. Desolation avatars know how to destroy. Tim could probably send the entire shop up in flames so hot only he would survive it, but he clearly doesn't want to. "They must be so reassured that you're taking care of them, Martin must be over the-"
"Shut up!" Jon's voice cuts cleanly through Tim's, and Tim's mouth clicks closed as static builds up around them. "I'm- I tried Tim. I did- I am doing my best to fix what I did wrong. I'll be the first to admit I- I made mistakes. And I know you won't forgive me, but- but I'm done. I- I'm done with begging you. What was it that you told Elias while I was gone? Either kill me, or-"
"Or fuck off" Tim nods. His eyebrows are arched, and when he speaks again his voice carries a hint of reluctant admiration. "Grew a pair while I was away, huh? Bit too late. If you ask me."
"Tim-"
"Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'm not... I should hurt you." Tim shrugs. It's stilted, too tense when he's trying to look casual. "But I don't want to. I think that part died too. The real me, you know?"
Jon's face goes from closed off to hopeful so quickly Gerry cringes a little. Whoever this man was -is-, he's... important, for Jon. Whether he likes it or not.
"So you-"
"I don't want anything." Tim rolls his eyes. "Well that's a lie. I want to destroy things. See the world burn and all, you know the drill. But I don't- Just stay away from me, Jon."
Jon flinches at his name, almost as if 'Boss' had been a quirky nickname and not some sort of mockery. Gerry guesses it could have been, and the thought makes him like it even less.
"Those are some bold words, when you were the one that came in here." Gerry arches an eyebrow, his hand balled over the smouldering napkin.
Tim rolls his eyes. "I figured I'd decide whether or not I wanted to melt his face off when I saw him," he says. "Wouldn't get too close if I were you. People who care for him don't end well."
He walks away without waiting for a response, and the air around them begins to cool down immediately. Gerry watches his back until the coffeeshop's door closes behind him.
"Do you want me to go after him? I can- Jon?" whatever he was going to add fades from his mind when he looks back.
If Jon had looked sad when apologizing for feeding, now he looks... miserable.
Gerry knows all too well he's not built for comforting people. He can protect them alright, but there's a lack of action inherent to comfort that always manages to make him feel like he's doing everything wrong, like he should be doing something to fix the problem instead of just being there.
Maybe it should've been Martin who brought Jon here, Gerry thinks bitterly, because he would fight the world for Jon, but what good is it if he cannot make things right?
"... Do you want to talk?" he asks. That's how this is done right? Communication, catharsis, comfort. He can't fuck up a simple formula.
Jon looks up at him, a hand buried in his tangled mess of hair. His eyes are still shiny, but less with the thrill of a potential statement, and more with something Gerry doesn't want to even think about.
"Tim was my friend," Jon says, and he seems to grow even smaller as he talks. "He moved to the Archives for me."
"Jon..."
"Guess this is the best outcome there could've been. At least he's free now."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin notices the melted doorknob as soon as he walks up to his flat door. It's not a great sign, probably, but also not something he's really in the mood for dealing with after the day he's had.
The Lonely kept coming and going at random today, and the complete numbness of it coupled with the bursts of intense emotion when he found his mind clear of it were exhausting.
"Whoever's in there-" Martin calls as he pushes the door open, careful to not touch the still warm metal "-I'm really tired. Please just say what you want, and go?"
The flat is completely dark, and Martin's eyes latch on to the two burning embers that he guesses belong to whoever came to kill-
"Dear, sweet Martin, telling the entities to behave. Things really have changed, haven't they?"
The voice crashes against him like a wave, terrifyingly familiar and entirely too disorienting; Martin leans heavily on the table by the door, knocking his mother's picture back. The warmth and the slight hint of humor contrasting with the raw bite of the words.
"T- Tim?" Martin gathers himself enough to flick the lights on, and sure enough there's Timothy Stoker, leaning by the door to his kitchen.
He looks exactly like he did the day he left for the wax museum with Jon; the scars from the worms littering his skin, the artfully messed hair, the confident curve to his lips. The only difference is his eyes, two burning coals in the middle of the much beloved face.
"Surprise," Tim says, elongating the word so much Martin can see the sarcasm bleeding off of it. "Turns out my old flat is not mine anymore, who knew? I'm going to need a place to crash for a while."
"I don't- how are you here?" Martin asks, still holding to the table for the stability that seems to have fled his world so suddenly. "You were- we buried you! Is- is it really you?"
"I had my doubts." Tim shrugs, making no move to get closer. "But I said I was when Jon asked, and it's not like I can lie to him, so I-"
"Jo- you went looking for Jon?" Martin's heart skips a beat. That can't be a good thing, that- "did you hurt him?"
Tim laughs at that, long and loud and bitter in rivulets of steam that raise from his parted lips.
"I should've known. No, Martin, I didn't hurt Jon." He says, his voice curling venomously at the name. "I wanted to. I really did. But when I was there, I-" his mouth moves around half formed words that he can't seem to give voice to, and his eyes flare up bright enough that Martin sees the glow even with the lights on.
"You couldn't." Martin blurts out when the revelation strikes, and Tim flinches. "I- that's- not that that's a bad thing, but Tim-"
"He compelled me, you know?" Tim spits out. "At the Unknowing. I was going to give her the detonator, but then he asked me to look, and I was so angry at him that everything was clear for a moment. And I killed us."
Martin takes a small, careful step towards him.
"You saved the world, Tim."
And Tim looks up at him, with a humorless smile.
"All I wanted at that moment was to kill him, her, and me, Martin. And I couldn't even do that." He pushes sharply off the wall then, and Martin restrains the urge to move back. "And I had him there today, he was practically begging me to do it, and I couldn't- why couldn't I kill him, Martin?"
He looks... devastated. Like the only certainty he had was just ripped from him and shattered before his eyes, and Martin has a moment to consider just how sad it is, that Tim depended so much on his hatred for the man whose friendship he treasured once. This new world has made strangers out of them all, empty husks that feed on resentment while yearning for a past that won't come back.
Martin takes a step forward, and then another, and another, and he only remembers Jack Barnabas' statement by the time his arms are closing around Tim, but it doesn't do much to stop him. Tim is in need of a friend, and Martin -or whatever is left of him that Gerry has managed to wrestle out of the Lonely- is the only one left.
Tim's arms come to wrap around Martin's back roughly, almost violently- Martin guesses that's now just as much a part of Tim as anything else.
"You melted my doorknob," Martin mumbles into the hug.
Tim snorts, and just for a moment, everything is right.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ouch," Basira grunts, and Daisy flinches back like she's been burned.
"Did I bite you? I'm sorry, I-"
"No, stop." Basirs lays a hand down on her head to still her, and Daisy looks up. Basira's rubbing at her with a pained frown on her face. "Something just fell on me."
Daisy scowls, but a look around the room reveals they're alone. "What-" she catches the corner of something black and shiny poking from between the sheets. "Is that a tape recorder?"
Basira groans, and Daisy pats her thigh with a sympathetic smile.
"I'll ask Melanie to talk to Helen about timing."
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
BACK ALLEY SORCERY by Turner Odorizzi
There's nothing like getting that text at 11:30pm from your dealer. Unsolicited, he tells you "HMU. I got it." You know what 'it' is, because you asked him for it two nights ago. At the time, he told you "out, sry", and then to your roommates you said "Fuck. He just responded and he's out." Your roommates start to fight with passive-aggressive jabs that morph into screaming. All the way up the stairs, you could hear it outside.
But he's got it.
I'm at a bar with two shots in front of me, and the bartender snarls at me for taking my phone out as I was ordering. To satisfy him, I put it up and mumble a vague apology. I turn around to see that everyone else in here is under red lights, faces bathed in pale blood, behaving like there's a comfortable toxin drifting around. All sweating. I slug the two shots and leave the red babble into the back hallway where the bathroom is, but I apologize to the bartender for real before I leave.
He says he can meet me two blocks away in an hour.
That's a long time when you've started to become drunk. The first phase of it materializes convex feelings that flip a mental switch and turn you into a false prophet. I'm so transparent when drunk lately that it's become my default setting. I think I am a false prophet.
I often have these waking nightmares when I'm drunk, usually concerning the haphazard and brutal way the world maintains itself. Lately, they've become increasingly unreal.
I finally leave after debating, and as soon as I step out onto the street, I smell the falafel drifting out of that long white truck across the street. To my right, a homeless woman snaps at this girl's ankles while they're talking; the girl likely deserves to have been bit. She's what I would call a talker: one of those placating the downtrodden with a lousy quarter, iPhone in hand. These people on the streets are treated like a dogs, so it's only natural that they react as a dog would.
I digress.
There's an hour before my dealer can meet me, and now I'm thinking I could become a runner of his, you know? A loyal soldier.
A text comes in, but not from my dealer. I'm becoming angrier and spewing emotion like piss out of my eyes.
It reads: 'What r u doing? I'm downtown. Derek and I just picked up. Wanna join?'
She knows me well enough to know I'm getting drugs. It's got nothing to do with her. My anger is vitriol that's been forcibly caged, ready to gnash its teeth and make a feral attack, but I'm sure I'll be more kind when I'm high. By that point, I'll be knee deep in the oblivion I burn into my stomach, and less acquainted with how lucid and fractured all the days seem. Hopefully I'll be nicer then.
I text back: 'Yeah, maybe. Running errands first.'
Errands always means drugs in my world.
There's something unfair about being robbed of my self-image in a place so low-lit. How dare they take me for such a simple projection?
Goddamn, he should be here already.
He knows I'll linger on this stool until he strolls up, grinning like he's got a secret, however late or tempestuous he seems. I’m a cool condensation on a tall glass, just waiting like hell to fall.
But then he taps me on the shoulder. My mind snaps to attention, the neurons all firing with voracious action potentials, and it feels like a stroke but good and warm; my mouth is drowning in saliva. Finally, I can just feel serene and let the drug do its goddamn job.
"Come on. Hit the bathroom with me."
I trail him back to the bathroom, around the corner. He hands me the bag; I hand him the money in the same motion. We do a bump together and then I'm sent on my way to do my drugs in peace.
She texts again:
" At Carrie's. No cover tonight. Would love to see u."
I must be more drunk than I thought, because I don't remember getting here, or being checked for ID. I only remember getting this drunk. But here I am at Carrie's, the bar where she is and where she wants me to meet her. Here. What an absurd concept under the cover of night, blinded by the drugs and the drinks, especially since I could just as easily be there as here. Here or there? I'm already drunk, and I can't tell.
When I first see her, I'm stuck in the memory of our last encounter where, at the wrong moment, I wilted.
About a gram in with twelve drinks washing it down, I looked down to a flaccid dick. Hyper-flaccid. I was on my knees behind her, so she couldn't actually see, but she could definitely feel it. Trying to maneuver it then, in that faltered state, is like death throes in the aftermath of a waning battle, where she's standing there waiting on my surrender to it, because she's seen failing infantry before. She's waiting for me to run down the hill, pants hanging sloppily around my ankles, bellowing that I'm not dead yet.
It happened so quick and mutated to become furiously disappointing. Wilted flowers limp over the edge of the vase, unable to photosynthesize or cope. The question: Does she remember? I'll never let it go; my dick happens to be a good three quarters of my personality. I still remember what she said to me when I huffed and leapt off of the bed like some wounded coyote, to go out for a cigarette.
"Come on! Turner? It's fine, I swear! Please just come back to bed, you can smoke that in here, and we will just open the window. Please, you know it's not a big deal."
She kissed me, and I felt marginally better...but I had stumbled onto my curse.
She stroked the back of my neck while I laid horizontally across her lap. Scorched ego; Typical male bullshit. But that's what chaos looks like for me. Destruction is my motif.
In my head, my dick would never work again, for good or ill. It was permanently soft with embarrassment and inability and extraordinary self-loathing. Without that crucial three quarters, what am I?
He's nobody. He's faceless.
We go upstairs to the balcony dance floor, one step and then two at a time. The staircase is made of new, stained wood steps. Reminds me that this is the point of the night where all highs coalesce and I am... boisterous.
Once we get a drink, she tells me she dropped her small bag of coke when we hugged by the downstairs bar. She must have lost some of it in the process, maybe all, because now she turns to me morose, verging on drug tears in the middle of the dance floor. She asks me if I had bought any from Stone earlier.
She leads me to the darkest stall in the most remote corner of the bathroom.
"Did you pick any up, baby?"
"I don't like it when you call me baby, so please don't. But yeah, I bought some. I met him at the bar, but I waited longer than I wanted to. I should've left."
"I'm glad you didn't. Can I have some, baby?"
Now she's doing it on purpose.
I'm already feeling the pretense to the emotional crash which is requisite in the valleys with uppers. It's fingering my spine, and my ass is cold.
That crash acts as a proving ground to see which drug users will spill over into the abyss.
We finish off what I had left, both of us licking the top of the container earnestly afterward. It's clean by the end.
My fugue state is resolute, allowing me to float through all of this as if it were a dream. But I have sparse hopes, and I want to cry. Badly. There is something welling up, and I need to cry.
"What did you just say?"
"What?"
"I'm asking you what you just fucking said, you drunk-ass."
She chuckles in between drinks.
"I don't...really know. It just feels like I really need to cry right now."
"Um...okay. Did I, like, do something to you?"
In moments like this, I wish there was more booze in the world than I could handle. Like so much booze, that it spews from and falls over the sides of all of those high rises downtown, raging throughout the city, happy to pick me up and transport me to some other place. A place where it's okay to be catatonically fucked up on a daily basis.
Meanwhile, the coke is really getting on top of me.
"No, I never said that. Look, it's not you, and honestly it has nothing to do with you. I just...I can't explain it. I feel gravity more than anyone should, I don't know. That seems like the best way to describe it."
She looks forward.
"It's ridiculous. Fucking tears."
"Well, do you want a hug or something? Or...maybe you need another drink?"
There's a tone in her voice that's covered in moss. Furtive, too. Judging by her oblique reaction, this is what nullifying the rules of engagement is like. Sensory destruction. I can feel that dogging me.
"No, just...never mind. I'm going outside, but I'll be back. I need a cigarette."
I won't see her again tonight, unless darker forces are at work.
Somewhere, in a grand tower with walls of cinder-colored brick, there's an aging wise man, with eyes like surreptitious black pearls, wearing what I could only describe as an onyx-colored warlock's cloak. The cloak trails behind him while he mans the strong brass bell at the top of the antechamber like a ringing monument. It chimes in step with those darker forces.
I sit down on the front steps of a hotel, searching my pockets for...no, there it is, my wallet. I am still me. How fucking disappointing after all the drugs, the alcohol, that some catalytic change didn't materialize. If only I could use alchemy to transmute myself into something productive, maybe someone or something else. As above, so below won't fucking cut it anymore. Those platitudes are hanging from that bell tower as shredded banners.
Can't the warlock hear me over that goddamn bell?
She's texting me again, realizing I'm not good on my word.
"WTF. Where did u go? Are u getting more? I'll pitch on it if you just meet me."
"Pls. Text back. I'm going to Line Bar. Meet me."
I can't help but wonder whether the beginning of hatred is always so subtle? I mean, is it always so...slippery? That I cannot exhale. She won't see me for the rest of the night, except as a useful vision of drugs but I'm just an outline there. A... falsehood. But that doesn't matter, because I would rather smoke on these steps in mute conversation with the warlock, listening carefully as he heaves back and forth, tugging the rope that bids the bell to toll.
Now It's clear that we're approaching the point in the night where the residual effects of all highs begin to wane and shrink up into themselves. They're dull, lanky fingers tickling the insides, fading quickly.
Fading toward an end.
The word of the hour is ‘terminate’. It comes from the Latin word terminus meaning border or end. We're approaching that end. Of everything: the night, the bell, the protective haze of the drugs and the booze. The warlock is shedding his cloak right there by the bell and watching it settle with the dust on the floor. He looks like me, but older, harder; He's just as close to total annihilation.
I don't hate her because I should, or because I have a rationale beyond self-loathing, or even because I'm some noble man saving her from my affliction. I look at her, or anyone, and it's easier to stomach while I'm drunk. Who can survive with that kind of doped up blanket? Better yet, who would want to?
It's getting colder as I sit here and suck down cigarettes all the way to the charred filter.
Wait.
If I'm right I think I... Do I hear...a bell? No, that's just the violent squeak of an Uber driver's horn. Couple the squeak with the image of two homeless and yellow-eyed men fighting nearby, and then you've got the whole picture. Now, one of the men’s knocked the fuck out on the sidewalk, breathing like he's smoking in his sleep.
The warlock whispers, "He's nobody. Now, grab the knife."
Drunkenness is making a hard comeback now. Confusion of...me? Am I not me? The most pressing concern I have is the warlock fading in and out of my vision. Who is he, and why does he keep prodding me to grab some presumably nonexistent knife?
It’s the drugs, I swear.
Am I swearing to the warlock? If so, that begs the question as to whether or not he can hear me.
Who am I?
Only after the haze has made its comeback do I realize I'm no longer on those steps but am walking in the direction opposite the bar where she implored me to meet her. While weaving through crowds and lines of people on the sidewalk, I see a couple standing on the precipice of the curb next to a mangled pile of scooters, fighting about something. They fight like good omens, and I can see...well...something about them. Maybe it's the brutish mannerisms of traitors and bullies.
The girl thrusts out her arms in a half-baked attempt to tell the guy to fuck off; she tells him to leave. Perhaps she doesn't want him to, but he does; he's frustrated, yelling 'fuck you' over and over, alternating between tripping on the curb and the street.
I’ve been there, in those shoes. I've been the brick wall of a person she collided with, only to remain solid and immovable.
I need another drink or to crash, whichever can make it first.
Another text. Two, actually.
"Fuck you. U said seee u later."
"Why di you leave?"
When I look up, I'm at some dive bar, but it's impossible to tell which one. There are old beer signs glowing all over, and everything has a thin, nostalgic dust covering it.
Would that I could feel sorry, but I'm too volatile now. There's a corrosive quality to these things I do. I bleach skin with every word and eat through the rest, like the worst dissolving agent ever conceived. Even then, I'll go on knowing its wrong and stand perfectly still.
My dick deserves to never work again. Perhaps I should take the knife the warlock keeps taunting me with - the short one I notice is sitting there on the bar mat - and turn myself into a eunuch, and then, after the dust has settled, I can take my severed dick and paste it up on the wall like some anti-trophy.
I could see that.
The bartender hands me the last shot of the night, and it tastes like nothing, feels like vapor and kicks me straight in the liver with a twelve-pound steel toe.
After some time, the bar staff ushers us out like drunken cattle, and everybody descends into their phones.
But something happens in that flood of people, among the fucked up din of their cries and slurred shouts. There are far too many people crying outside of the bars tonight, and it's shameful that I'm not even one of them. By the way, how do you cry? Can someone tell me, because I'm drawing a wide blank? What are the mechanisms and motions? If only I could give someone five dollars just so they would teach me how to cry, like an in-person tutorial.
In a bizarre twist, I've become a zealot for crying in the vicinity of bars tonight.
But the bells start again; I hear them ringing out, chime after full, throaty chime. Bells, like the fucking Edgar Allan Poe poem repeating 'the bells' line after line. The warlock has really dug in.
I can't keep ignoring him.
My phone buzzes, but it feels more neurotic and nagging every time it vibrates, and I can sense that neuroses summiting my spine, hovering there like a curse.
I slink down along the wall next to a cluster of dumpsters, the alcohol taking control of basic motor functions this time. I grab my phone with violence in mind.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP! GODDAMN, STOP! SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP."
I rear back and chuck it at the wall opposite me. It hits the brick with a plastic thud and shatters slovenly. I can hear all the words escaping from it into the air. It flashes and breathes with little electric impulses, the life finally going out as something shuffles up beside me.
"You asked it to shut the fuck up y'know. Bit dramatic, heh."
"What? Where the fuck did you come from?"
"I'm Lenny, yeah. Just sayin', yeah...it did what you asked."
"Yeah, okay. Thanks?"
He gazes down at me, fiddling with some glass thing between his fingers and tossing it from hand to hand. Crack pipe, is it? No. Maybe? Well, if it is, and If I ask him, he might toss some my way, which could be a great way to pass the time while I lose my mind up against this filthy alley wall. It will just be a small hit, you know, just enough to take me away for a second.
Before I can ask, something overtakes me. I can't tell if this man is real.
My vision is blinded by an esoteric haze, and I can't be sure Lenny isn't just a facsimile of something or someone I've encountered in my worst dreams, because he does look familiar. Maybe he's never touched a drug in his life. I envy him. He's scruffy, but smiling. I think it's me who is the junkie.
Even better, this could be the warlock passing himself off as a man living off the street, like a messiah.
The bells come back fuller, and they ring louder as I feel psychosis encroaching on me, daring me to go just one step further and fall over my edge, to cross that border and finally come to the crucial end. The last stage, and the whole world's a stage. What a stage this godforsaken alley will be when this is a play in some dinky theater.
Dong, Dong, Donggggggg.
"Hey man, let me ask you, you got a dollar?"
"No. Uh, No, man, I'm sorry. I don't have a phone either."
He grunts and whispers something about me lying, which I am. I'm a liar. Tonight is full of these strange thoughts and lies. How...fucked up am I, really? How much more miserable can I get? Those are the thematic concerns of my whole fucking life. Those studying me will have to accept my capricious self and take these fundamental themes with them, because there's nothing left: no cigarettes, no drugs, no real me.
In fact, I think this would be as good a place to die as any. Better here than someone else's bed; the light is good enough to show that I don't seem the kind of person who should die in an alley, adjacent to shit and sewer water.
The bells are ringing out across my mental landscape. I can't hear anything else, I can't feel anything but the warlock's gaze. He's not laughing, just looking down with placid eyes. What does he see?
I look at my reflection in the puddle where my dead phone lays. Is this me?
Smile.
There's always tomorrow.
Turner Odorizzi is an author that lives in Austin, Texas. He is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin's English and Creative Writing programs, in addition to being an intern for the Bat City Review. As of yet, he is previously unpublished.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
venusethereal replied to your post:
Did you really try to compare canonical gay POC...
White coded half Mexican Scott McCall(Delgado) who spent seasons making a cray amount of heart eyes at dudes
Scott McCall did not tackle and sniff Danny Mahealani, just to be called heterosexual! We must FIGHT. For his RIGHT. To sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff Danny!
Because of his aftershave. Not for like, weird werewolf reasons.
No but for real, headcanon that Danny outgrew his Armani cologne pretty much the second he started college, but whenever he goes home on break or to visit his family, he always packs a bottle to start wearing again while he’s in town. Because maybe at some point Scott will get the hint, that its all for yooooou.
I mean, it would help if Scott were privy to the knowledge that Danny only ever wears the cologne he associates with Scott liking it, like....when he’s home visiting and in town where Scott is. However, this is not a thing Scott could know, and Danny is dumb for not realizing that.
For although Danny is an expert hacker and smart enough to graduate early and have sound, rational, self-preserving instincts, he is Canonically Dumb about boys, the proof is endless.
1) He caved and let himself be talked into hacking stuff that could have gotten him arrested, for the low low price of Derek taking off his shirt. (He could have said no, not this one, who else you got.)
2) He easily forgave Scott for the kerfluffle at lacrosse practice, merely because Scott passed to him all game as his way of making up for it. (He could have demanded Scott take him to dinner if he really wanted to make up for it).
3) He tried to convince his date he had no idea why Scott dropped out of nowhere and insisted on dancing with him and pretending he was Danny’s date for a brief minute. (He could have dramatically said I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t be fair to you, to pretend my heart doesn’t truly lie with that masked mystery man. And his date then saying what are you talking about, he wasn’t masked and he wasn’t a mystery, that was Scott, he’s in our economics class. Forcing Danny to reply see, this is why we could never work. You have no appreciation for the theater).
4) He simply lay there and helpfully supplied the name of his cologne while Scott lay on top of him and sniffed him. (He could have rolled over on top of Scott and insisted on sniffing him because turnabout is fair play. Look, I’m trying to stick to a motif here, work with me).
5) He simply asked if his ex had been paralyzed by the kanima too, at the Jungle, when Scott asked if he was alright. (He could have said no, but if you hold my hand and come with me to the hospital, I really think that might help.)
6) He dated the Incorrect Alpha in Season 3. (He could have simply had patience and better taste, and waited for Scott to become an Alpha ten episodes later, rather than settling for Ethan the Blehribble.)
7) He at no point dated Scott McCall. (He could have simply said hey Scott, wanna go out with me, and Scott would have looked around in search of another Scott, realized Danny was talking about him, beamed and scuffed his foot whilst looking at the ground awkwardly because just because he’s accepted that he is in fact, The Hot Girl doesn’t mean he’s ever gonna manage to be GRACEFUL about accepting it, and then they would simply go on a date, and then another date, and then another, and at some point they would engage in Shenanigans, and the heartfelt exchange of Feelings and ultimately cohabitate and get gay-married and adopt 4.5 supernatural babies.
The .5 is an adorable puppy that they’re all PRETTY sure is actually a toddler shifter that shifted precociously and got trapped in that form and hasn’t figured out how to shift back yet, but on the other hand is also possibly just an adorable puppy, and Scott and Danny simply don’t care and he’s part of the family anyway and they’re all waiting for the day he potentially shifts and turns into another toddler terror, but Mason and Corey and Deaton are still working on figuring out definitively if he is perhaps just an adorable puppy destined to grow up to be an adorable dog, and Scott and Danny just shrug and say whatevs, its fine either way, he has his own room and bed to sleep on so they’re all set whether he ends up being a Real Live Boy, Gepetto, or just the most spoiled and doted on golden retriever in all the land).
In conclusion, Danny, whilst an excellent hacker, brilliant student, and master of the occult art of Avoiding Getting Dragged Into Beacon Hills’ Bullshit And Thus Staying Alive, Staying Alive....
Is Canonically Dumb and should be penalized accordingly, in the form of having seven (7) fics written about him and his poor decision making skills as evidenced by his lack of proactively wooing one Scott McCall.
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part 2
“It’s raining men (and women)”.... hallelujah? Or not, as the case may be.
(For those just joining us, part one is here)
I was kinda hoping they would run the credits after the title, but I guess filmmakers... don't do that anymore, because we all have short attention spans these days?? Some of that is George Lucas's fault, I know, but tbh I kinda enjoy the creative ways in which filmmakers USED that space occupied by the opening credits... like how The Karate Kid uses it for Daniel and Lucille's road trip between Jersey and California, how it establishes how many friends Daniel had, the importance of his bike, and the whole "putting the car in neutral" and rolling it to get the engine going AND the motif/promise of the pool... all in a minute or two. Magical. I kinda miss that compared to earlier films.
Anyway, highway at night in what the screen tells me is Mexico City 22 years later. Okay, then. There's ice... and then lightning crackling on the road edge, which can only mean one thing -- a visitor from the future!!
There's a woman making out with her boyfriend underneath the highway, and she says "Oh, my god," and the boyfriend thinks it's all his doing, LOL. Sorry, dude, not today.
THE SPHERE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY OVERPASS, HOLY FUCK, WHO SET THOSE COORDINATES?? It's a good thing the spheres destroy everything around them, or else this movie would be very, very short.
As it is, Grace falls naked from a great height, banging on supports as she goes down. Ow. Great way of showing she's not quite human.
Of course the watching girl goes over to help while her boyfriend sits there slack-jawed until she shames him into going along. They pick her up and carry her towards their car, only for the police to show up and demand to know what's going on. They think that they're drug dealers (?) and don't believe that she fell from a bridge.
"I love it when it rains naked ladies," says the cop, which is movie-speak for, "I'm an asshole about to get my ass kicked and the audience is going to cheer while it happens".
He grabs her, and Grace sees his gun, and goes for it. Yup, he's down. She's got some sort of augmented vision like the Terminator though anyone who's seen the trailer knows already she's on the side of good.
Grace takes out all the cops completely naked, and I love how this scene is filmed because it's so not focused on anything sexual and it's not sexualized at all, at least for the male gaze that I can tell. It's just... a naked woman kicking ass without obsessing over the fact that she's naked, and it's so goddamn refreshing.
The boyfriend thinks she's amazing. His girlfriend walks over and hugs him. Grace strides up to him and compares her bare foot to his boot. "Don't thank me yet," she says in a deadpan.
Cut to Grace wearing his clothes driving away in his car as the boyfriend stands around in his boxers and yells for her to go to hell. And I like this because it's so much more effective this way to leave the details in the reader's head and show us the results. The girlfriend steers him away, and he starts blaming her, for getting them involved in the first place. Fuck you, dude. I hope she dumps him that night, too.
Cut to Dani in the street somewhere, carrying flowers and chatting with a tamale vendor. We learn from this that she always has flowers -- an association with life and spirit, and not letting the grind get you down. I approve.
Dani has a brother, Diego, who wants to be a pop star, and a father whom she reminds to go to the doctor. Caretaker of the family! Of course they have a dog, named Taco. I'm sure this will be relevant later. I hope Taco survives. Diego tries to chat up a neighbor named Julia, and I'm sure this will all end tragically. I hope she survives.
Dani and Diego leave just in time... for another naked person to drop from the sky in a glowing electric sphere! What are the odd??!
Okay, I don't remember the spheres forming ice in previous films, but it's a cool detail that it makes all the laundry on the lines freeze and shatter... so it's gotta be SUPER COLD. Like, liquid-nitrogen levels of cold.
Like Grace's sphere, this one drops its inhabitant off in mid-air, but the Terminator is able to do a beautiful leap and land on his feet like a cat. He looks like a marble sculpture here - beautiful, smooth, polished, muscled grace. Hot damn. There is absolutely no emotion on his face as he stands up, and even without the music cues, you know right away something is wrong.
There's a woman staring at him when he turns around. And now he looks friendly... earnest, helpful. "Good morning," he says in Spanish as he reaches out to touch the jacket she has in her hand, and it spills up out of his skin HOLY FUCK THAT IS CREEPY AND AMAZING at the same time.
The woman FREAKS OUT and he SMILES at her ever so slightly, and--
Cut to a busy city street. Unlike the highway where Grace appeared, this in the middle of the city, with lots of apartment buildings and traffic. Dani and Diego are on a bus.
Cut to Dani's father answering a knock on the door while Taco the dog barks hysterically. I know, I know, I'm so sorry, Taco. There's the Terminator, and he's so charming and earnest in his plaid jacket, looking for Dani. He claims to be a friend. Her father is shocked. "That's strange. Her friends call her Dani..."
"Dani?" repeats the Terminator. "Yes, of course." AND HE SMILES... fuck. A TERMINATOR THAT CAN MIMIC HUMAN FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND SHOW EMOTIONS I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.
(but it actually makes PERFECT SENSE for reasons that will be explained later [kinda] in the film!!!!)
Cut to a factory. Arius Motors. Dani and Diego going in to work as cars swing by on the line. There are robot arms and it's all very timely and metaphorical. Somebody goes by on a bicycle INSIDE THE FACTORY and I have no idea how that works, but okay.
Diego's station has been replaced by "a new guy,"--an orange robot arm. Dani asks the supervisor what's going on and he says, "The future," and the manager wants to see Diego in his office. Dani goes in his place, the supervisor says no, Dani pulls out her hair tie, and goes anyway. THIS IS WHY SHE'S THE LEADER OF THE MOTHERFUCKING RESISTANCE, Y'ALL, she’s ALREADY taking no shit from robots.
Dani's father shows up at the factory claiming his kids forgot their lunch and can he come in? Poor dad is definitely dead. I hope Taco at least survived, but I doubt it. Meanwhile Grace is approaching and just leaps over the turnstile like it's no big deal and I LOVE IT. Then she follows a security guard into a corner and mugs him for his uniform and it's all so goddamn quick.
The security guard tells "Dad" that he can't come in without a helmet and vest, which is bullshit, because most of the employees don't wear them, but whatever. Grace keeps walking. How the fuck did she dress so fast, but she looks great. She's got a jacket awkwardly covering her gun, and it's not subtle, but no one seems to notice.
Dani is arguing with the boss, who is... American? At least he's speaking English. She's trying to keep her brother's job, but he's all "well, he's not as good as you are," and Dani is Not Having It. She threatens to tell them that machines are coming for ALL the jobs, and god, I love her so much because EVEN WITHOUT TERMINATORS MESSING UP HER LIFE, SHE WAS GONNA GO PLACES.
"Dad" goes to Dani's station and she isn't there, but he talks to Diego. (I don't know how he knows so much, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty.) The Terminator makes that lame excuse about bringing lunches, and Diego is confused, because Dani already took care of that--
Then Dani shows up and the lunch morphs into a gun, and I'm not sure how they did that, because wasn't the morphing stuff not supposed to MAKE GUNS--ok, maybe he took the security guard's gun and morphed the lunch OVER it as a cover with his polyalloy bits--but FUCK this dude is SCARY--and points the gun at Dani as she and Diego stare--only to have his head blown open as Grace fires.
Grace keeps shooting as Dani screams, and grabs Dani before she can get to "Dad". Grace is way better at explaining things than Kyle Reese: "That is NOT your father. That was a machine that sent here to kill you. " It helps that the Terminator has lots of metal bits exposed at this point, and rapidly shifting back to normal. Come with me or you're dead in the next thirty seconds!"
Dani doesn't buy this, but she runs as Grace shepherds both her and Diego away.
And that back arch as the Terminator sits up and regenerates back to his "original" persona--which, I'll note, he DIDN't steal from anyone in our present; it was the one he came with UNLIKE the T-1000 in T2--and it's scary as hell. And even watching him run, and leap--it's not human. It's a predator disguised in human form. Well done, filmmakers.
I like how they show Grace's augmented senses here, and how she has the extra warning to shove Dani and Diego out of the way when the Terminator goes flying for her. He slices her cap off with arms that are suddenly sword-knives, and she swings a mallet at him, knocking him flat--and flinging him into a wall when she hits him again. She is really fucking strong, and I've never seen a woman be this strong before and it's AMAZING.
She hits him on the head over and over again, and then he starts crawling up the mallet towards her and it's so creepy HOLY FUCK and then he sends her sprawling and pops the mallet back out of his head OH MY GOD.
Grace starts using a piece of car siding as shield because she lost her weapon, keeping herself between the Terminator and Dani at all times.
Diego crushes him with a machine--I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, FILMMAKERS, NICE CALLBACK. Unfortunately, it doesn't take, but it does give them some breathing room. Meanwhile, Grace is tired and out of breath, and visibly overheating. The perfect time to introduce herself to Dani!
Grace explains the situation on the run, and throws Diego into the truck they steal outside when he hesitates. I gotta hand it to her, she's doing this whole thing pretty well.
Diego sees her arm. "Are you a machine too?" "No I'm human, like you!" They don't believe her. "No, I'm augmented." THIS IS GOING TO BE A THEME, OH MY GOD. More on this later. Grace can argue with them AND hotwire the truck at the same time. #goals.
They bust out of the factory. The police immediately go after them, not sure how that worked, and Grace says "Oh, shit," seconds before the Terminator (now revealed as the Rev-9) busts through the wall with a truck and a... snowplow? I guess it's for moving stone and metal bits around the factory? Whatever. It's a lot. The police cars go flying.
Somehow Grace manages to drive AND explain backstory at the same time, which I admire, because I can barely talk and drive at the same time.
There's a lot of civilian casualties, mostly due to the Rev-9 snowplowing everything. They end up going backwards up the highway off-ramp and onto the highway. The Rev-9 busts through more things and loses the snowplow. It's a bad day to be driving in Mexico City, let's just say that much.
Grace gets the first "FUCK!" of the movie, as the check engine light of the truck comes on, so Dani gets to drive while Grace makes improvised weapons out of rebar. Oh, wait, Dani can't drive, so Diego gets to do it. (Hahaha, I guess Dani's going to learn how to drive soon because METAPHOR)
Graces eases off her jacket so she can blow off steam and leaps into the back of the truck, yelling for Dani to put her seatbelt on OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE. I love it.
She targets the Rev-9 and throws. He doesn't even flinch at the first one and catches the second one. She stabs him several times through and then he grabs the rebar and moves the polymetallic alloy portion of himself onto the front of the truck while the metallic Terminator skeleton drives.
[COMBINING THOSE TWO PARTS IS REALLY CREEPY AND ALSO THE BEST DECISION THEY COULD HAVE MADE 10/10 APPROVED]
It looks like the skeleton is laughing at Grace, but I think that's just his resting bitch face, lol.
Grace changes tactics and shoots for the tires. The Rev-9 jumps and throws a rebar back at her and Grace deflects it so it misses Dani. Then the truck is dragging the Rev-9's protoplasm while the other half crashes and Grace has to fend him off. Rev-9 takes this opportunity and slashes at the tires with his sword-hands. Grace kicks him off and he gets run over, but it won't take. Diego crashes the truck as the tire blows and Grace rolls and takes a bad fall onto the pavement. The Rev-9's skeleton crawls out of the flames.
DANI WORE HER SEATBELT SO SHE'S FINE WHILE DIEGO DIDN'T AND IS INJURED OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE THE DETAILS FUUUUUUCCCKKKK. Like, Grace knew Dani had to wear her seatbelt BECAUSE SHE'S FROM THE FUTURE AND OLDER!DANI TOLD HER TO DO IT! And younger!Dani DID IT! OH my GOD! (either that or they really are just that drift compatible)
Oh, no, Diego has rebar through him, he's not going to survive AAAAAAAAH no whhhhhhyyyyy
Meanwhile, some poor motorist tries to help the Rev-9 and is murdered for his troubles. sigh.
Grace has to pull Dani over the body of her dying brother seconds before the Rev-9 smashes into the car and everything explodes in fire. Dani tries to run to Diego and Grace holds her back. Grace makes Dani run.
All of the Rev-9's protoplasm is oozing back towards the skeleton in liquid dark smears on the ground and it's so creepy FUUUUCCKKKK
Oh god HE WALKS THROUGH THE METAL HIGHWAY GUARD LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL HOW CREEPY CAN YOU GET FUUUUCCKKK
And then the skeleton starts throwing rebar at them from the other SIDE fuuuuckk. this movie so isn't subtle, because there's the machine part and the human-looking part, and they're both working together as one, and this is a METAPHOR, we're meant to see the Rev-9 and Grace as FOILS to each other AAHHHHHH and the Rev-9 is also a SYMBOL OF WHAT HUMANITY CAN BECOME IF IT MELDS WITH AI, AHHHHHHH
Can I just note here that the skeleton part DOES NOT HAVE A ROUND HEAD THERE IS IN FACT A GAP WHERE ITS BRAIN SHOULD BE AAAAAAA
"When they start to kill me, run," Grace says to Dani. But... AN SUV pulls up, knocks the skeleton flat on its ass as the human part of the REV-9 just stares in dull, placid confusion.
next up: my fave returns!
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
as-edits
♡ Yeongwonhi ♡ After School~!
as-edits
♡ Yeongwonhi ♡ After School~!
cambridgedesignvector4
Untitled
scultune-blog
♯ᑌᑎᔕTOᑭᑭᗩᗷᒪᕮ♯
ninasmovingcastle
𝓃𝒾𝓃𝒶