MY STUCKY FEELINGS FUCK

me when i have a crush on a boy: don't tell anyone i like him... maybe if i never look at a picture of him god won't know that i want to have his babies

me when i have a crush on a girl: LOOK AT HER. LOOK AT MY WIFE. CAN SHE STEP ON ME?? I NEED HER TO GET ON OVER HERE WITH THEM TIDDIES AND SHOW ME WHOS BOSS. WOO! LET'S GO. I LOVE HER. I'M'A GO SHOUT THIS SHIT FROM THE ROOFTOPS NOW

Some spoiler-free considerations on Captain Marvel:

- how can i put it kindly... straight white male critics who are giving bad reviews can suck a big dick -  carol danvers top meeeeee i beg you - ok ok, on a more serious note: the movie is actually good! it’s not groundbreaking and you know what? it doesn’t have to be revolutionary to be GOOD - Carol Danvers is everything and I mean it. she’s such a well-rounded, complex character. The thing I loved the most about her is that she is FUNNY, like genuinely funny, with her witty comebacks and sarcastic remarks. This may sound silly to you, but truth is that “badass” female characters often are just... that. Like if you are a woman and are badass and strong and your main job is to kick ass, then you can’t be ANYTHING other than that, you can’t be funny or emotional or sensitive. well SCREW THAT, carol danvers is all of the above and to me that was fresh and needed - and talking about being sensitive... the first thing you hear in the movie is jude law’s character reminding carol that she has to let go of her emotions to be really strong, because emotions are weakness (you know, same old shit women constantly have to put up with: ew if you’re sensitive you cannot be in a position of power! fuck that). so carol reminds all little girls out there that being human and having empathy is not a weakness at all! thanks carol we love you, LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK - does it convey a feminist message? it does, of course, but it doesn’t feel forced or anything: it’s all very smooth and plot-related, the film never gets preachy - which was my biggest worry, i’ll be honest with you! considering the marketing campaign (HER/hero, the release on 8 march...), i mean. as a feminist, i was extremely satisfied and just... happy, you know? because carol is relatable and there are two specific scenes with two powerful quotes that perfectly fit into the narrative and the plot and yet will really resonate with the female audiences. Like... they really make you say “wow carol, SAME” - it’s not too nostalgia-packed! it’s set in the 90s but, again, everything is smooth, the 90s references do not feel forced or anything (and a few times they serve comedic purposes) - brie larson is BRILLIANT and samuel l. jackson is RIDICULOUOSLY GOOD. together they are the ultimate buddy cop movie goal. - GOOSE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME I LOVE THAT CAT I LOVE HER - IT’S A GIRL!!!! - there is no love story! T H A N K Y O U - but there is a beautiful friendship between carol and maria rambeau (a wonderful lashana lynch) - the only downside is that we don’t get to really see their backstory, which makes their reunion a bit anticlimatic maybe, but that solely depends on the movies’ structure - there are TWO end-credit scenes! the first one is a BIG ONE that’s basically an Avengers: endgame sneak peek so be sure to stay seated until the end of the credits!

as usual: feel free to ask me anything (i’ll try and  not be too spoily, i promise ♥)

my non-spoily thoughts on mr. avengers and his newest adventures

And I did sleep on it before yelling this time!

It’s better than Infinity War, if only by virtue of telling a complete story. It also desperately depends on it in order to make sense, and for obvious reasons. Your mileage may vary wildly but will ultimately fall back on whether or not you were always onboard with the longform storytelling model to begin with.

I never was, always thought it stifled the historical depth and potential for cinematic dramatization in order to service stakes that were not baked in the plots of individual movies (I know this is an Old Take, but I truly believe it holds merit). However, it did have that unintended effect of creating diamonds under pressure whenever they brought in genuinely driven and smart directors and let them play within those constraints, and that will remain my greatest argument in favor of all this.

Which is also why I’m hesitant of piling on the Russos too hard for their ongoing tendency to methodically walk back character arcs (which is bad) or pick them up from a decade ago in order to sidestep the stagnant wheel-spinning of most phase 2-3 films (which is good). They had their work cut out for them here, and they decided to lean hard into indulgent narratives. Which is always something I whine about ad nauseam, but I’m a bit tired of going down that rabbit hole again for this fucking behemoth.

And generally with ensemble movies, I can honestly think of no better approach; they could maybe exercise their voice more and create an ethos and dramatized message for the film to rally around, but it obviously proved too difficult in a space motivated by Infinity War’s soulless springboard. So as far as the fixing of a self-made mess goes, the Russos pull off a surprisingly intricate tapestry of character-driven moments filled to the brim with good-natured fan service. They grab what seems to be the entire lineup of the 20-something strong MCU bonanza by the collar and violently shake it until every possible wish-fulfillment tumbles out with surprisingly earned intent. It is an absolute joy for a Marvel fan to watch.

Which is to say, Endgame is Marvel’s answer to whether or not this type of approach is feasible at all, and it banks on fans’ investment into the franchise in order to land most of its heavy-hitting moments. Conversely, it is an absolutely worthless mess of confusion for anyone else who goes in fresh, but the factor of that risk is effectively wiped clean in face of over 1 billion dollars in revenue for the world’s largest media corporation. 

I know this is a complicated reaction, but it’s for what remains a complicated endeavor in a context that is maybe a bit dangerus for setting precedents. But the simpler truth is that Endgame is an incredibly fun watch, and, unlike its predecessor, goes and puts an actual lid on things with a much livelier spring in its step.

hey flowwelers my avengers spoilies tag gonna be #endgame spoilers PLEASE BLOCK IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YET!!! THANK!

omglikewhoactuallycares replied to your post “when is an appropriate time to start reblogging endgame spoilies and...”

Pls don’t

imma hold off for a bit longer but i’m also tagging things so u can blacklist it (tagging with marvel, endgame spoilers, avengers endgame)

@irnwoman replied to your post: @irnwoman replied to your post: ...

i love you but WHY !!! WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS

because...i hate myself?

Thoughts On Avengers: Endgame (With Spoily Spoilers)

Thoughts On Avengers: Endgame (With Spoily Spoilers)

No joke, Enthusiasts.

Gonna spoil the shit out of this movie.

Avengers: Engarde! will be more spoiled than a gas station oyster po’boy left out in the sun and coughed on by Magic Johnson.

More spoiled than Ivanka.

More spoiled than my tum-tum after eating two pounds of popcorn, and it’s not like I didn’t know what was going to happen: every time I go to the pictures, I buy the Super Duper Jumbo…

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the russos: yeah a character in a4 will be gay in canon

me, after seeing it: wHICH ONE BITHES?!?!? WHICH FUCKING ONE

things that made me screech in the theater (big spoilies btw)

big time spolies yall

big spoilies

is this enough space for warning

ik i can put shit under the cut but i Dont Feel Like It

here goes:

morgan stark

v a l k y r i e (god im so gay)

cAROLS HAIR CUT OH MY- (did i mentoon how gay i am)

steve in his tight ass shirts

korg wearing one of taika’s shirts

cassie!!!

tony. just. everything about tony

“hail hydra.”

“thats america’s ass alright”

“howard. howard potts”

there’s a bunch of stuff in the middle here that i dont remember bc im still fucking Reeling

STEVE!!! IS WORTHY!!! OF MJOLNIR HELL YES BABES

THAT BIG THING AT THE END!!! WHEN EVERONE SHOWED UP!!! I WAS SQUEALING OH MY GOD!!! (the entire theater was clapping omfg)

“avengers. assemble”

P E P P E R

P E T E R!!! PETER MY BABYYYYYYY

b u c k y

valkyrie on the pegasus hell yeah babey

when!!! all my badass ladies!!!! showed up!!! to back up carol!!! hell fuckin yeah!!!

“you’re takin all the stupid with you” (*cries*)

sam!!!! as captain america!!!

ok now time for the “things that made shereen wanna cry” section:

“i love you three thousand”

“i am iron man” (i think someone stabbed me at that part ngl)

peter n tony hhhhhhh fuck

pepper n tony

the funeral oh my fucking g o d

HARLEY!!!

“i want a cheeseburger”

literally everything after tony did the yknowwhat

WHEN PETER!!! AND NED!!! DID THEIR THING!!! i,,,,fuck

just literally the whole fucking movie

ALSO

the endcredits??? for the origional six??? dead. im so dead

when rdj’s showed up everyone started clapping and cheering i stan One (1) man

ANYONE WHO HAS SEEN A4 MESSAGE ME I NEED TO S C R E A M

fuckfuckfuckcuckcuckcukccuxju im such a mess fickuxufkcufjcucjcjjc hLEP ME

can i just say: steve in this movie was a fuckin savage i love him in this sm

so fuckin much