Apart from me being absolutely dead inside and burnt out ,,, I literally graduate uni this month WTF!!!!!

windows updated and broke something and i seem to be the only person on planet earth with this problem

the screen snip button no longer works from the action centre. i can open it with shift+win+s. i can open the app directly from the start menu. clicking the button in the action centre does nothing

@bill what the FUCK did you do this time

all of the internet "here's how to fix your action center not opening!" no it's opening fine it's the screenshot button inside the action centre specifically that's not working. "screen snip missing from action center" no it's there i just can't open it. "screen snip won't open by shift-win-s shortcut" still no! still not the problem!

Potato leek soup and some honey whole wheat bread from yesterday.

when I was 12 I was sick and missed a science test. when I was back at school the teacher told me I could make it up after class but it completely slipped my mind and I went home on the bus

the next day I went to the teacher to apologize and tell her I could stay after that day if it was still okay and before I could she was like “You saw the zero in the grade book” in such a matter of fact way

I, in fact, had not looked at the grade book?? I had no idea that she’d put a zero in for my test. I was just a distractible kid with undiagnosed ADHD who… forgot to stay after school because my usual routine was to get on the bus

I didn’t say that of course. I just nodded in absolute befuddlement and then stayed to take my test that day

I’m much older than 12 now but I still remember my confusion and shame and the bolt of momentary panic before she told me she would let me do the test and I’m like. idk. it kind of stuck with me. I was 12. I was a pretty good student otherwise, yeah distractible but in a quiet “doodle on every paper near me” and “has two to three books on hand at any given time so I don’t get bored” kind of way.

I think even after all these years I still don’t understand why she felt like she had to scare me

why'd my adderall xr kick in so late I fell asleep after an hour and woke up feeling it after a 2 hour nap 😑 jm wasting it by being asleep the first half.. I do love waking up feeling rested and not confused at least but come on

do you guys ever have moments where you're genuinely confused about how you got to the place where you are

i did something and i didn't know what would happen but god i just feel fucking neutral. Anyways i think i have a disorder or smth why dont i feel emotions like a normal damn person

First experiment with Rebelle! Got it while it was on that ten dollar sale, but hadn't touched it since then.

I had resolved to not draw the Acts characters in color so I could keep them abstract in my mind, but decided to allow it just this once. I enjoyed pretending this could be a portrait of Hunter that would exist in-universe.

I spent a day learning how to knit and purl on straight needles and then decided the next thing I should learn is magic loop socks. it's going surprisingly well.

Can't tell if I'm just tired from work, or just tired of almost everything in general

i feel like ive been dealing w some sort of schizophrenia since at least 2018 but i have not been diagnosed yet because NO ONE believes me. ppl still have this insane image of schizos like i feel like i will not ever get a diagnosis until i start screaming and biting people!!!!! i feel weird all the time but im not aggressive because im fucking depressed!!!!!!!! i have no will to live!!!!!!!!! i have no strength to harm myself or others!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to be treated normally but at the same time i wish people were aware that my mind does not work normally neither does my body or me!! treat me gently but dont walk on eggshells around me and be aware that i don't function as common adult!!!!

lays down. why am I like this

Man. my therapy appointment made me feel bad today bc we did not have enough time to cover everything and also i said some stuff that was a little too real and a little too unpolished and she wrote about 10× as many notes as usual. :( thank god we're on weekly appointments now, i need to go back asap.

Dehydrated...

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idk i wouldn’t even say that im a people pleaser (anymore) in the sense that my survival relies on the people around me likes me, but now i just run off the idea that i will be shunned from society forever if i can’t find the person i used to be because everyone really seemed to like that guy—bc i curated it to be that way. and now i find that i don’t care much abt other people i like going home on time and not staying after ‘just in case’ they need more help i don’t want to give my time away and i don’t answer texts that make me feel drained just from reading and im losing the will to say things to people that they want to hear….and that’s the part that’s making it really hard to function in normal life settings. 1) i don’t want to converse i want to go home and 2) in a conversation i don’t know what it is that strangers want to hear anymore…i only know they want someone to agree with them on all counts which sure i can do that but that’s why i don’t know how to connect myself to another person to begin with only how they can connect themselves to me. like ah ofc my childhood has negatively affected my ability to connect to others i can’t trust them can’t talk abt myself and now i don’t even want to communicate w em it’s all so annoying