idk who needs to hear this but many high masking autistics don't want to be told they're good at masking or "no one can tell ur autistic" as a compliment bc it reinforces the need to mask in order to be accepted socially (of course there are exceptions to this and not all autistics will agree)

growing up i was told so many times "u do a great job at appearing 'normal'" and let me tell u that made me feel incredibly insecure of unmasking in public (i have also been told "ur autism is showing" as a way for someone to tell me that i should 'put the mask back on', which is also very hurtful)

to this day im scared that ppl will not like me if im more "visibly autistic" so i oftentimes mask more than i'd like (which leads to difficulty forming real connections as well as burn out and anxiety)

(it's also ableist to say that not seeming autistic is a good thing bc that implies that autism is an insult or something to be ashamed of)

I read the Introduction to Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price tonight

i finally feel heard:

Autistic Masking

Feeling very shy and finding it difficult to interact with others

Rehearsing conversations in your head

Watching others and reflecting the social behaviors

Desperately trying not to info-dump about your current hyper focus

Using scripts in conversation

Fighting the urge to stim

Hiding sensory discomfort

Making eye contact even though it's uncomfortable

The Autistic Teacher

Masking

one of the things i hate most about masking is that i’m giving out a false projection of myself to people that i desperately want to know the real me

it really is

i figured out why my autism is so low masking. I got super fucking lucky!

i was popular in primary school and didnt realise until afterward. i was in the top academic banded class with a big friend of 6 girls. One who is still my best friend to this day

I used to bark when i was in primary school, it helped me communicate. But my dear best friend just thought i was the coolest kid ever! I barked!! Thats soo cool!

shes honestly the reason im not high masking she just made me feel loved and accepted for who i was no matter who in the world was against me

we were together in school for the almost the entire 12 year experience, she only left me for a single year when i transferred schools one year, and she followed to mine the next year

Sadly i havent seen her in two years since we split ways for university as shes on the other side of the world. But ill see her again someday.

I know cause shes my best friend :)

Shout out to the autistics who struggle with imposter syndrome, who feel like no matter what they do they're not good enough or don't deserve validation or love. Shout out to the autistics who feel like they're trapped or stuck with their current living situation and would do anything to change it. Shout out to the autistics who are socially inept and are often called "rude", "annoying", or "inappropriate". Shout out to the autistics who mask by making themselves self-reserved because they think that people will like them more if they kept quiet. I know how you feel because I have been there, I still live in that reality, and that I am also still struggling with loving myself for who I am. It feels lonely not being able to connect with others who feel the same way that I do, so hopefully someone who is also experiencing these will see this and know that they're also not alone.

Valentino has something to say!!

"Lack of personality" in autism (spoiler: it's the masking)

[Large text: "Lack of personality" in autism (spoiler: it's the masking)]

I was scrolling through # autism questions and noticed a bunch of people asking stuff related to not being able to figure out their personality so I thought I'd share something I've realized some time ago.

My entire life, I always had this idea that my personality was just "too broad" to be normal, as in, I acted in completely different ways in different situations and with different people.

Of course, everyone tends to change their behavior a little when dealing with different people (you're not the same with your friends vs with your teachers or boss), but there's limits.

Being aware of this, one of the first conditions I looked into once I decided to start doing research on neurodivergence was DID — and, eventually, OSDD — but I quickly understood that wasn’t it.

(It was great doing that research though, because the idea media gave me (and most people) on """split personality""" has nothing to do with what DID and OSDD are. And they're very interesting conditions, so more knowledge for me!)

But if it wasn't an identity thing, then what was it?

It was masking.

Four years into research, one year as a self-diagnosed autistic, I realized the thing that made my personality so "broad" was just masking. And a year after that, I'm still certain that's the answer.

Because, my entire life, I've been changing myself to fit in with others, especially with neurotypicals.

While masking, you don't just "tone down" the very clear traits of your autism (or any other condition, by all means), you also copy other people's behaviors and personalities (usually subconsciously) so you don't seem like the "weird one".

I've been like a bloody mirror my whole life, and that's likely what others are struggling with when trying to figure out their personalities as well.

Hope this helped someone.

Growing up and experiencing a lot of ableism that led to me quickly learning to mask my autistic traits and develop severe social anxiety wasn’t great but what’s even worse is that it made me develop severe anxiety when OTHER people also don’t follow neurotypical roles in interactions. Like listen, I’m autistic, I don’t really know what I’m doing either but I’ve developed an intuitive sense of this is “wrong” or this is “right” in terms of expectations of interactions according to allistic’s based on configuring the data of my past experiences. I don’t know why it’s wrong or right. I don’t agree with it all the time. I don’t understand it. But my brain has organized allistics reactions to the point I can identify when something isn’t “right” and it makes me so anxious due to the ableism I’ve experienced. And since I’m obviously not gonna force anyone to mask (masking only made me develop a shit ton of anxiety). I just sit with this uncomfortable feeling that makes me sick sometimes and I feel like a shitty person.

Like I can’t even connect with most other autistics but I also can’t connect with allistics. I’m stuck in this inbetween and I hate it.

To my fellow autistic artists,

If you're dreading doing creative work today, it's likely that you're dreading the masking that comes with it.

Thinking of the audience's reaction, playing music to force a certain mood, being "on" all the time in your breaks, trying to stim to make yourself get back to work...

It's just as exhausting as social masking and inhibits your relationship with your craft!

You don't deserve to mask in your sacred alone time 💜

CREATE UNMASKED

Masking isn’t just appearing Neurotypical. It’s Projecting the Version of ourselves That Feels Safest In that Moment. In that environment

Emergent Divergence: The neurodivergent ramblings of David Gray-Hammond

awetistic things {580}

i can't enjoy my life while masking

Opinion on mask when autism or no mask when autism public space ? Squid mask but get bully for use AAC and have caretaker with Squid... Squid wonder what Squid do to bully self, Squid live Squid own business

Sorry for bad grammer, Squid currently use AAC now

Hey squid! I’ll answer the best I can.

I believe everyone should be able to unmask if they want to. I believe though that people should be aware what unmasking looks like, and how it will affect your life. Unmasking isn’t easy, and you have to relearn a lot of things. I don’t think people realize that when they go into their journey of unmasking and they get overwhelmed fast. Unmasking is more than just stimming visibly.

I personally don’t mask in public, or very little. It has caused a lot of issues, but I try my best to stay positive. I think people don’t realize what it’s like to be low masking, and I think they have a very narrow minded view of it. I’ve had people say I’m lucky for not masking. I’ve had people say that I’m privileged for not masking. It’s not a privilege. It’s not something I can control. I don’t want to experience the things I do.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing bullying, that’s not good at all and I’m truly sorry, you don’t deserve that. Using AAC in public is hard, and I hope it gets better for you.

I don’t have much else to say and I hope this answers your question. I tried my best? I think I understood correctly.

I hope you have a lovely day!

I painted these a month or two ago, but I wanted to share them with y'all.

They're monsters that are meant to represent different mental health struggles. Such as anxiety and masking (like, pretending to be one way to appeal to other people, or make them like you more. Very common for neurodivergent people)

I hope y'all like them