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kusagrasskusa · 3 years

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Hanzo Hisashi X Innocent! Reader

Thank you EzraPFoxglove01for requesting this adorable thing! I sorta changed a lot you asked for by making it go into depth, and it ended up being the longest story I've ever written lol. So I'm definitely gonna add a shorter, more cutesy version of this story soon.

Change her outfit all you wish; it doesn't have a big part in the story at all. Though due to where she lives, it sorta makes sense for traditional Japanese wear to be her attire. And this is the kimono I have in mind, but change whatever :D To be honest, it makes sense to change the look to be more suitable for fighting while still maintaining an innocent, feminine character.

Word Count: 6733

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"Hay....ya!" A feminine voice yelled out as she kicked a large hole into a tree. She didn't really have an specific training area so she often kicked and punched holes into tough looking trees, which proven to be as affective as training dummies and whatnot. She pulled away from the tree with a large smile on her innocent features.

She held her arms up to her chest with clinched fists. "Alright! Just 113 more to go," she reminded herself as she prepared for another kick. Yet just before she kicked the tree, she heard rustling in the bushes surrounding her.

She paused and looked around her everywhere. The wind began to blow which made it hard to hear whoever or whatever move again as the wind blew the all the bushes. She made a pouty face and walked over to where she heard the noise the first time. She had a bag that wrapped around her colorful kimono that contained kunai knives, and she pulled one out just in case. To be honest, with her small, airhead, and pouty form, she was the least intimidating person most people could ever see. And her small, F/C kimono with cherry trees on it added onto it.

The wind slowed down for a second and in that time, rustling in the bushes was heard again, where it did last time. "Huh?" She hummed as she slowly and cautiously opened up the bushes. "W-Who's there!" She yelled nervously as she parted the bushes completely. "Ahhh!" She screamed as she stepped back, tripping on whatever she stepped on. A baby bunny jumped on top of her from the bushes, it's guinea pig looking face staring boldly at her. Fuck it was frightening for a bunny to withhold so much toughness and boldness.

She whined as she pulled the bunny of her, causing it to run away quickly. She stumbled to her feet, barely managing to maintain her own balance for a moment. She watched the bunny hop away into the forest as she calmed her nerves. Once it disappeared, she sighed and opened her bag to put away her knife. Yet the sound of a voice behind her caused her to throw it towards the voice with perfect aim and fast speed. Yet as she turned around, she saw her kunai knife had been frozen but it wasn't frozen quick enough to prevent the one and only Kuai Liang from behind cut a little.

"Good aim," the Sub Zero complimented in his deep and husky voice, a smirk on his face. He pulled the kunai from the ice prison it was it and tossed it towards Y/N. Y/N's innocent E/C eyes widened as she gasped.

"Liang!" She ran towards him to hug him– but no, we can't have that without her tripping halfway. "Oof!" She hit the ground hard and whined as she slowly stood back up. She had cut her face on a rock but that wasn't good enough for her to not want to hug him just as hard. So once she stood up, she lunged at him and hugged him so incredibly hard. "I missed you! How are you!"

Kuai chuckled as he softly wrapped his arms around her. "I see you haven't changed one bit, dear friend." It's true that the two of them are close friends; although they don't have any fundamental qualities in common, they managed to meet one day and their opposite personalities captured each other's interest. And so here they are, together after departed months back. Right after Sub Zero and others were free from Quan Chi, the two got close again and only had a couple weeks to get close again before Kuai had to leave. Finally, months later, they're together again!

"I've been just fine, L/N. How about yourself?" He asked as he pulled his arms down. As expected, Y/N didn't let go and continued to sway back and forth.

"Oh, I've been good! Sorta lonely, yeah but I met this one guy! He leads an entire clan that let me in!" Y/N sweet voice called out in reply, her eyes twinkling. "I don't see him often but we've been talking a lot more recently. He's really nice...like a big, strong, teddy bear, hehe," she giggled as her legs went limp. Kuai chuckled at her dramatic description and pat her head; pushing the person she's talking about to the back of his mind. She got back on her feet again and pulled away from him. "Sooooo...do you have any combat stories to share? An adventure?"

Kuai shook his head. "Unfortunately nothing to tell now, but soon," he spoke as he looked up at the bright blue sky. It was maybe 8 in the morning at the time. Y/N held her arms in front of her as she swayed back and forth as her head tilted in confusion.

"Okay...Oh! There's flowers growing around here and I want you to see it. They're so pretty- and pink," She emphasized as she took Kuai's hand and pulled him to a nearby pond. The trees surrounding the pond were waves with red and pink flowers ground from them. It's hard to tell, but in the distant was a village. And jn that village was, drum roll please, Hanzo Hizashi himself. As the two friends spoke about the scenery, Hanzo had just gotten ready for a day of training.

As he stepped outside, he took a deep breath and examined the place surrounding him. The birds were singing, the soft winds brushing past the trees and plants, the warm sun and clear skies. The sound of children playing can be heard from the background. It was pure bliss really. Yet even so, he had an uneasy feeling wash over him. The feeling that there could possibly be an unwanted visitor.

Hanzo walked closed the door behind him and walked out. He took his time going from his home to a place a little outside of the village; a more personalized dojo. It contained dummies and targets designed for his spear and fire. The little dojo was little ways across a pond near the village so that's where he was headed.

"And that's why that's my favorite color," Y/N said as she finished her story. Kuai Liang, to be honest, wasn't paying attention to her at all and simply nodded. She smiled at his politeness to at least pretend to acknowledge what she's saying; Y/N knows she can get really immature sometimes and right now really isn't her best moment. "Eheh, so what do you want to do?"

Kuai looked over at her with a soft smile on his features. He really was such a peaceful man at heart. "I believe I saw a few rare ducks fly into the pond. Would you like to go see them?"

"You're not going anywhere."

Y/N sharply turned her head towards the pissed looking man walking towards the duo and gasped. She stood up, saying, "Kuai, this is the man that let me into his village! Hey Hanzo, this is Kuai‐"

"He already knows who I am," Kuai cut her off coldly and stood up. "Hanzo, I mean you no harm; had I known this was your territory, I would not have come." Hanzo pulled a sword from his back and held it up in a firey fists once he got close to them. Y/N stared idlely at them with growing anxiety. The two picked up on that quickly, making Kuai speak up again before Hanzo could. "The girl does not know of our rivalry. Don't punish her for my mistake, Hanzo‐"

"Do no speak to me like that. Leave at once!" Hanzo may be alive, but that doesn't mean he can't revert his voice back to his hellish Scorpion one. Kuai took a few steps back before turning around and disappearing. Hanzo and Y/N watched the whole way through in complete silence. Once Kuai was gone, they silence broke.

"I–"

"And you," Hanzo walked up to her and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. "Exactly what made you think bringing a guest without permission was anywhere near exceptable? You endanger every one of us at this village that way." Y/N could feel his fire-hot breath against her as he spoke. A shiver fell down her spine as looked him right in the eye. She didn't respond, but rather bow her head. Hanzo scoffed, flames igniting from his fist that began to burn her clothes, making her whimper beneath him. She felt the flames heating up her neck, which made her whimper more as the pain wasn't something she was exposed to often. "Part of me wants to kill you right now. You are very lucky to have caught me in a better light."

Hanzo let go of her, stepping away. Y/N bowed her full body lowly, hands to her knees. "I'm deeply sorry sir, I really am. I promise I will never bring another guest again. I knew not of Kuai and your's relationship and if I had known when I met him in the woods a little bit ago, I would have got him to leave. It was foolish of me to have not stayed in the village and possibly risks a bloody situation. For that, I am sorry." As Y/N finished, she heard nothing but the sound of a sword being put away.

"As long as this never happens again, L/N," he spoke coldly. "I forgive you. You may continue what you were doing before he arrived here."

"Thank you so much, sir!" Y/N called out happily as she stood up straight with a smile on her face. "I promise you won't regret it!" Hanzo remained quiet and simply glanced down instead. A more calm and positive feeling took over his previous anger quickly, leaving behind a little bit of confusion. Y/N took a few steps back over to where that tree she was kicking earlier was before Hanzo spoke up again.

"I apologize for being so harsh, as well. You said you met you here; was this planned?" He asked her as he his fists were undone. Y/N shook her head when she turned back towards him. Hanzo examined her face for a moment before sighing, then a smile grew on his face. "Very well. I appreciate your honesty. Actually, would you care to join me for tea later? As leader of this clan, it feels right for me to know all my people, whether they are a weary traveler or blood."

"Of course I would," she said softly. "What time?"

"Tomorrow at dawn."

"So be it." And with that, Hanzo began to walk towards his dojo and Y/N walked towards her special tree. The two of them had that tea on their minds as they practiced whatever it is they were practicing. How would it turn out? Would Y/N innocent immaturity get her in trouble? Would Hanzo appear too serious? Will they make up and gain trust? Maybe something else? We'll see in the next paragraph.

Time flies by quickly when you're having a good time, and for Hanzo, he was quite happy about the thought of getting to know Y/N more. And also to learn more of her relations with Kuai. As for Y/N, she was nervous as all hell since she knows she can be a handful sometimes. To be honest, a simple deep breath was able to calm her down and bring the adult side out of her. So here she was now, looking at herself in the mirror of her guest cabin and taking deep breaths to calm her nerves.

"You got this Y/N," she told herself as she took her final deep breath. The kimono she was wearing was different as it was longer and above the wrists, meaning she was unmarried. It still had a pretty design on it, with the colors overall being F/C, pink, yellow, and blue. The had her H/C hair up in a bun with two strands falling over her shoulders. She had a pin that kept her hair up with a beautiful flower attached to it. To contribute to her Japanese asthetic, she had a folded fan that was black with red cherry trees designs in it in her hand.

She smiled at herself in the mirror one more time before she turned to face the door. She slid open the door to the guest home and put on her shoes before walking outside. She closed the door and prepared to head off the selected location. On the other hand, Hanzo was sure to be formal as well.

He wore a montsuki, which is a formal black kimono worn over a white under-kimono and hakama, which are traditional Japanese trousers. It was common for samurais to wear this underneath their armor, so it suited him well. After all, he was both ninja and samurai; he kept his hair in a man manbun as well. He was very good at maintaining a formal way of speaking and acting, yet he knew Y/N isn't all that. Someone as free spirited and naive really isn't all that capable of it, in his mind.

He was sitting down in a chabudai; one of those short legged tables that have cushions to sit on your knees on rather than to sit on chairs. At the moment, in another room of his lonely home, was a kettle that was boiling water. Authoress is not a Japanese fanatic who knows Japanese and is basing these designs of real Samurai and Wife dolls by their bed, I swear. It was perhaps halfway done by the time he heard a voice call from the outside of the front door; "Hello, it's Y/N. May I come in?"

Hanzo smiled softly to himself as he stood up and walked over to the door, sliding it open. To say he was shocked to see the free spirited girl in such a good-mannered attire was an understatement. "You look lovely tonight," he stated as he looked Y/N head to toe. On Y/N's side, she noticeably blushed and gave him a sweet look.

"You look lovely as well, truly."

Hanzo raised a brow and stepped aside for Y/N to step inside. And rather than her normal fast walk with swaying arms side to side, she slowly walked in with her hands held together in front of her. "I haven't yet seen this side of you, Miss L/N. I am a proper kind of person so don't think I won't hold it against you if you act unmannerly," he teased as Y/N giggled to herself and took her shoes off at the front door.

"I thought that maybe I should act a bit more, I guess, fancy in order to match you. As long as you don't believe in the whole women are beneath us bigger men and shouldn't talk unless spoken to thing, then this shouldn't be too hard, hehehe," Y/N said as she was lead to the chabudai by Hanzo. She sat down on her knees on side and he on the other.

"Of course I would not act on such a thing. We are all human with equal rights," Hanzo replied as he sat his hands in his lap. His looked down at Y/N'a hands, which were on the table, before shooting her a look that told her that she was doing something wrong. Y/N hummed in confusion before gasping lightly. She put her hands in her lap and smiled innocently, creating a chuckle from Hanzo.

Come to think of it, the hone hasn't yet been described. It's easy to imagine the paper and wood that made up the walls and doors, and the warm light that shun over the two people. The carvings on the wood above them and around them, the large pot with a bonsai in it in the corner of the room. The little wooden seats with drawers distilled in them built into the walls of the home. The wooden tables with traditional statues and little plants in pots across the home. The sword holder near the front door, the mats across the floor to give the unique taste. In the kitchen had built in furnaces where people would burn a fire in the wholes on the bottom and put cooking appliances and kyūsus on top of it. If you don't want to imagine that, here's something help.

"Have you ever studied Japanese arts? Surely you must have had some experience in a place like this, or perhaps a friend to lecture you on what to do," Hanzo explained his thought process as he looked interestingly at the smaller girl.

"Actually, I had Kuai teach me a lot about Chinese culture. But when I met a swordsman named Kenshi, I learned more of Japanese tradition. I may not be the best, but I tried to use my knowledge of both cultures to act as good as possible! Um, I mean," she paused as her face lit up red. "To act as good as possible." She but the inside of her lip nervously as she grew more and more embarrassed of her voice level as she spoke. Hanzo chuckled.

"I'm glad I invited you here. You are very knowledgeable it seems. Plus quite entertaining," he complimented. The kyūsu began to steam loudly, meaning it was finished. Hanzo glanced over to the kitchen.

"Heh, I wouldn't say knowledgeable," Y/N replied, "but thank you." Hanzo stood up, nodding his head towards her as he walked put of the room.

"I apologize but the tea must be attended to. I will be back in a few moments," Hanzo explained before he disappeared behind a wall. Y/N nodded in understandment and began to fight with her hair, kimono ends, fingers, and whatever else she could once he walked out. When Hanzo walked into the kitchen, he felt heat rise to his face. He leaned onto a little table with his hand on it to keep his steady and his other hand over his chest. Oh kami, he thought, she gets cuter each time I see her. Whether she's trying to be like me but failing miserably or being her bubbly self does not matter; she is perfect.

He did his best to calm his nerves before grabbing the kettle from the furnace and grabbing a kyūsu, an appliance for making tea, and slowly pouring hot water into it. He made a kind of sweet green tea, one that many foreigners don't know about, called Sencha. It has to be made with the coolest kind of hot water, basically, otherwise it will turn bitter. He made sure the watch it carefully for about half a minute before grabbing two cups and pouring the tea. He then picked up the two cups and headed back to the chabudai. Yet before he got to the room, he paused.

A feminine voice sung a soft song as she waited for Hanzo to return. Hanzo felt his cheeks heat up again and his chest felt warm. He could recall this feeling but from where he first felt it is unknown to him. The ready may be able to assume that he was thinking of his first love, his wife, and how he felt when he fell in love with her. But that idea hadn't even crossed his mind as he felt there was no way he could ever feel such an extreme emotion towards anyone else. And marriage isn't even a question since she isn't from the clan. He took a deep breath before walking back into the room.

Y/N stopped singing and she smiled widely as she saw him. "Hey Hanzo! Or, um, sorry, haha. The tea smells very nice," she complimented as she gripped the sides of the cup with her little fingers. Yeah, there was definitely a way he could feel such an extreme emotions towards anyone else. Hanzo sat down on his knees on the other side of her, mumbling a quick thank you to Y/N and a thank you to the Gods' gift of tonight. And in his mind, a thank you for what to him felt like a gift from the Gods' to end his grief from his early wife.

"Mm! This is really good!" Y/N gasped after tasting it. "This is the best tea I've ever had!" Her eyes were wide in awe and her expression showing her impressment. Hanzo chuckled at her adorable reaction as he took a sip of his wom drink. It's been maybe 8 minutes since Y/N got there and she already forgot to remain all traditional and civil. It was adorable to him; she was so precious really.

And throughout the night, the two of them talked and laughed and jokes and got close. They remained at the chabudai most of the night, aside from when Y/N asked for a tour. She adored the bonsais, scenery that can be seen from outside the window, paintings around the home, and everything. She was so naive but to Hanzo, that wasn't particularly a bad thing. It made her all the more fun to be around. And because of how great of a night they were having, they even agreed to meet up the next day.

"Excuse me, Miss Y/N," Hanzo said as he stood up from the chabudai. "I will be back in one moment. Please help yourself to more tea if you'd like."

"I will," Y/N responded sweetly. Oh, on a side note, Y/N completely forgot about the traditional thing completely so don't expect her to stay put in the few minutes Hanzo was gone. Actually, by the time Hanzo came back, Y/N had her head in her arms on the table her body slowly rising and falling with the rhythm of her breaths. Hanzo couldn't help but find himself smiling down at her. He got that warm feeling in his chest again though it was different this time. It wasn't as unfamiliar as before. He knew what it was; it was love slowly blossoming.

He sighed softly before picking up the sleeping girl's tired form and carrying her against his chest. She shifted a little bit in his grasp and ended up being hudled against him more, making that warn feeling in Hanzo's chest grow more. Such a sweet, innocent creature. He slid open his door and brought her back to her guest home, where he laid her in bed and brought her hair down from its updo in order for it to not be as bad of a mess tomorrow. He kissed her forehead and then left to sleep in his own bed until the next morning.

The next day was the same as the previous. And then the day after that, and the day after that day, and so forth. But one day was a particularly cold day and a cold blanket of snow began to cover the land. Y/N was at Hanzo's place, watching the snow fall through an open window with her E/C eyes wide in amazement at the beauty. Hanzo was standing behind her with two cups of tea in his hand.

"Would you care for a drink?" He asked, making Y/N turn around.

"Thank you, Hanzo!" She said as she took the drink from him and took a big sip. It tasted sweet, as it was the tea she had when she came over for the first time. "Say, I sorta wish we could have gone outside today. I noticed that you like to fight in that place by the pond a lot; which is really great to watch! You're so strong, hehe. But you've never actually seen me fight before," she explained right before she took a sip of tea. "Y'know, I'm painfully aware that people view me as an immature, innocent, naive girl who isn't the most aware of her surroundings. But I think you'll be impressed to see what I can do," she said confidently as she hummed.

Hanzo took a sip from his tea and nodded. "Perhaps. When it gets warmer out, I'd love to watch what you can do," he replied with an extra caring tone with his voice. He caught onto his tone quickly and blushed a little bit. "But there is something we can do outside," he started.

"What is it?" Y/N asked, standing up.

"Well, there's a hotspring nearby. We can swim in there if you'd like. However be sure to dress in something not too revealing if you would like to."

"There is? I'd love to!" She exclaimed as she bounced up and down. "I'll dmgi get dressed now," she eagered on as she put her shoes back on before leaving. Hanzo grabbed her up of tea and brought it to the kitchen. It's a shape it would go to waste, but he can always make more. He returned to his bedroom to grab something to put on while swimming but please, just imagine what he'd wear to swim. Traditional swimwear is too nasty to be used in this book, but swimming trunks are too modern. As for Y/N, considering she never had a particular home or culture, it made sense for her to just wear a full body suit she could have gotten from anywhere in Earthrealm.

Of course, the both of them were sure to bathe before hopping into the hot spring. Well, Hanzo slowly got in whereas Y/N jumped in without any care. It was warm, shocker there.

"Ahh...Thank the Elder Gods for getting me here before I froze to death," Y/N shuddered as chills ran up her spine. Though those chills were disappearing as the warmth of the hot spring washer over her soon enough. Hanzo rested his body against the large rocks around the hot spring and found a seat-like area. Y/N swam around happily and sung to herself.

Oh, one thing worth mentioning for the sake of the next paragraph is that Y/N had a necklace around her neck. Hanzo had never noticed it before as it was always under her kimono or shirt. However that necklace had a great significance go it; she was told that with that necklace, she would be able to find her parents who seemed to have lost her at birth. That necklace was the only thing that remained of them and hopefully destiny was kind enough to help her find her parents.

"Kyaa–" shrieked as a splashing sound was heard. Hanzo stopped daydreaming and looked over at Y/N, who's hair covered he face and arm frantically tried to keep her body floating. She quickly pushed her hair out of her face and whined over and over again worried. Hanzo instinctively swam over there as fast as possible, grabbing ahold of her gently yet sturdy. "Where is it!" She cried out, feeling her body and looking around the waters.

"Where is what?" Hanzo asked in his husky voice that was now in a confused tone.

"My necklace! I can't find my necklace!" She replied worriedly, tears swelling in her eyes. Hanzo looked at the tears forming and felt his whole body shiver woman's his heart drop. "I can't see it anywhere!" Hanzo began to swim towards the rock formation he was against earlier, making Y/N cry out, "wait!"

"Y/N," Hanzo sternly spoke. "I will find your necklace and return it. Worry not, please, dear friend," he reassured, taking her hand in his. She shook nervously and wiped her tears. Slowly, she nodded which told Hanzo he could swim away now. And so he did; he headed towards the stop where she cried out and with one deep breath, he went underwater. He had to hold his nose for warm waters were very dangerous to go under as dangerous fungi grow in hot waters. Yet even so, he swam to the bottom of the hot spring using one hand to stir around to look for the necklace.

Y/N waited on the rocks, sniffing and whimpering. She hasn't told Hanzo the origin of the necklace, but he could tell it was important to her. When she was little, she was handed the necklace and was told it would help her find her missing mother as long as she stayed pure. What that means is that Y/N had to remain free from murder, theft, and other ways of sin. Not only that, but she could not ever preform certain adult actions as then she would never find her parents (I say that because Y/N never had a parent figure to teach her what nono stuff is), which is her number one goal in life. She grew up going from city to city, state to state, country to country, and even had been in Outworld before. She grew up with so many cultures and had never found someone that was like her in any way. It felt like she didn't have an identity as she had nothing to trace her orgins to.

Splash! Hanzo took a deep breath of air as he finally reached the surface again, with a silver necklace with a S/F/C gem inside it that's carved to show an unknown design. "Is this your necklace?" He asked as he held it up. Y/N gasped, lunging back into the water and swimming towards Hanzo. Once she got up to him, she wrapped her arms around his muscular figure and cried.

"You found it! Thank you so much!" She cried out happily, pressing her body against him. Hanzo blushed at the sudden affection and slipped the necklace back onto her. He adjusted the back of of it so it wouldn't fall off her so easily again. "I love Hanzo... You're the best friend I've ever had... I really mean it," she whimpered out. Hanzo began to swim towards the rock formation again and once he did, Y/N let go of him.

"I appreciate it, Y/N. I love you as well, you're the closest friend I've ever had," he said back to her with a warm smile on his features. Y/N smiled back at him before examining her unharmed necklace.

"Hmm... Ever since I could remember, I would move from every country in the world to another. I've been to Paris, Beijing, New York, London, Los Angeles, a few different places in Mexico and Colombia, Holland, Tokyo, Osaka, and many more. I was carried from place to place by various of adoptive mothers, and each of them left a bit of their culture and identity with me by the time I left.

"But I had one that was a fortune teller and psychic. She was incapable kf having kids and didn't want to go through the trouble of raising one, so she took me, an 11 year old girl. She gasped when she saw me and took me in immediately. Before I left her, she gave me this necklace. "Y/N," she said, "you have the potential to see your real parents again. Train, grow stronger, read, grow smarter, listen, grow wiser. Stray away from the evil in the world and remain pure from your soul to your body. This is how you'll find your mother.""

Y/N paused and looked up at the larger male. He seemed intrigued with her story and made sure to listen carefully to her every word. So she continued, "as I grew older and began to travel on my own, I thought of her words every single hour of every day. I had no reason to live as I ever did was travel and meet new people, only to leave and never see them again. Just knowing who I really was became my only reason for existing. To this day, I bet the relief of meeting my real mom will feel like being deaf and hearing music, or being blind and seeing color, or being able to walk again after being paralyzed. But now," she paused.

Y/N smiled and looked up at Hanzo. "It's strange to feel so in place, so correct. I-I know I never felt this way about any place before! But I really think that as long as you're around, my chances of meeting my mom are good! Just being with you gives me hope for the next day, truly. It's like being with you is my reason to exist."

Hanzo closed his eyes and smiled back at her. He wrapped his arms around and embraced her warmly, his head being filled with nothing but pure bliss. Y/N hugged back tightly, feeling just as happy as he is right now.

And just as soon as it came, the day was over and the two had to return home and sleep. But this particular night, their dreams were better than usual. And two days later, the snow had cleared up and the ground was dry! That meant Y/N could go train today! Unfortunately, with her absent-mindedness, she forgot she wanted Hanzo to watch her so she remained in private as she kicked thicc ass trees down in two strong kicks and crushed stones into bits by simply punching it once.

"Hai...ya!" She called out as she forcefully brought her first to a stone celler that was abandoned randomly in the woods. But hey, no one was using it, so who's gonna cry about it being broken? The impact of her punch brought a giant circular impact onto the wall, and bits and pieces of it fell down. "Hehehe! 22 more to go!" She thought out loud as she pulled her fist back again. She wasn't alone in these woods, no, as there was a particular ninja/samurai person thing, idk, watching from the nearby bush. Not to be creepy of course! He was on his way to his dojo but heard noises, and discovered it was her after checking it out.

And d a m n. If Y/N saw his shocked face the first time he saw her punch the wall with that much force and endurance, she would laugh and tease him about it for a long time. He didn't expect her to be so quick in her movements and to cause such force. Like, a short little bebe in a pink, cutesy kimono with cherry blossoms being able to cause a fucking massacre to the wall? How could you blame him?

"Hmm... that reminds me!" Y/N exclaimed as she spun around to look at Hanzo. "I told you that you should watch me train! Is that what you were doing?"

Hanzo blushed heavily and was unfortunately incapable of hiding it in the direct daylight. "Indeed, Y/N. This is truly a wonderful sight to see," he replied as he looked away for a moment. Y/N gasped and ran towards him. He took a few steps back when he noticed how close she gotten, which caused him to get a little bit more flustered.

"You're sick? You're face is all red, Y/N whined as she pulled Hanzo closer. "You should be inside, mister, getting better! Not out here watching me fight when it's colder out here! Let's go bring you inside," he said as she grabbed his muscular arm and held it close. She turned towards the village of the Shirai Ryu and began walking towards it, pulling Hanzo along. How bold.

Hanzo but his bottom lightly and remained as flustered as before. "There really is no need, Y/N," he replied back.

"You're being quite irresponsible for a ninja, y'know," Y/N replied as she continued to walk him home. Hanzo sighed and just let her pull him along. He knew she would question him if he told her he wasn't sick so he choose into except it.

"Thank you for your concern," he replied lowly. Y/N giggled proudly and nodded.

"The best for you!" They arrived to the pathways of the village and began their walk. There was a few pedestrians walking by, including a dad and daughter and a separate woman. "I'll make you some tea and you can go to bed, okay?" Hanzo nodded, smirking to himself about how funny the situation really is.

"How caring," Hanzo spoke as they arrived at his home. The got inside and took their shoes off at the front door.

"Of course," she replied before heading towards the kitchen to make tea. Hanzo wasn't sick but he's been tired lately and what's wrong with sleeping in for one day? When he got the tea, it no doubt tasted way too bitter as Y/N doesn't really know what she's doing to be honest. But hey, it's the thought that counts.

Hanzo lied in bed, with an empty cup by his side and an small girl on the other. She sat on the bed, talking to him quietly about a bunch of random things until she said something strange. "To be honest, I know this is weird, but it almost feels like we're married sometimes. I mean, we're together all the time and have a very close friendship. You let me drag you in here and give you bitter tea even though you didn't want to. That's really nice, hehe," she giggled as she looked over at Hanzo. Her eyes shun something different from simply joy this time. Instead, it showed rather care. And potentially something more.

Hanzo felt a shiver go down his spine as he looked deep into Y/N's eyes. Emhe had to examine them to ensure that he wasn't just crazy or actually sick, but no, it looked like she really did care about him more than a friend. After all these months, it was officially, wasn't it? It was mutual. Hanzo smiled as he sat up on the bed. Y/N's cheeks lit up a little bit as he stared down at her with that look.

"Sometimes it really does feel like that, does it not? I can see as a good pair to be truthful. What about you?" Hanzo asked softly. Y/N cheeks flushed pink and her expression softened.

"I agree, definitely. I mean, how can I not, heh heh. You've been there from the very beginning and I've always seen you as this big, strong teddy bear of sorta. So sweet, so nice, so caring," she replied. Hanzo leaned in, making Y/N want to lean in too. And slowly, the pair came together and finally...they kissed. It was soft, tender, and it felt like it was meant to happen. Y/N's face turned red and Hanzo's tense emotions he felt disappeared immediately.

Heh, you know what? To be honest, they lady next door was known to be crazy about losing her baby girl a very long time ago. They had matching necklaces that were bought from a village far away from their's years ago when the Shirai Ryu was attacked by Quan Chi's forces. She escaped and went into hiding, and then found a man to marry to. Her child was named Y/N L/N, and whether she's not fully Japanese or fully related into the Japanese clan, she is blood and therefore she is capable of being the love of Hanzo Hisashi. Maybe the two of them will meet some day, huh?

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk x reader #mk9 #mk11 #mk10 #mkx mortal kombat x #mkx #mkxl #scorpion #scorpion x reader #innocent reader #hanzo x reader #hanzo hisashi #hanzo hisashi x reader

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lordxgrinnyxboy · 4 years

Text

rewatching tgm, wifi being useless edition 2/?

every time i hear puppet!Dea say “when a story is raw and real” i see Mr. Gordon Ramsey memes, they just scroll across my vision and there’s nothing i can do to stop it u-u

ngl im kinda in love with Mojo Puppeteer

the foot shimmy during this scene, like right as Ursus gets up off the floor Gwyn/Mr. Maskell does this little ankle squirm. u-u

foreaaaaaaaaaarmmmmssssss

love how mr maskell doesn't emote w/his face while puppeteering but ms. brisson's just facially so into this performance and honestly so's ms. onitiri

also love all the different bits of ribbon and such puppet!Dea’s hair is made of. several different textures in there

kay but the way he makes the prince puppet kinda bounce in place as he sings “only those three words could ever free me from the curse” it just makes it look like the prince is kindof adorably excited about this

im just now realizing that one part of the puppet is supposed to be the prince’s mouth and not his chin or something.

Dea’s soft “oh” when their hands touch

foreaaaaaarmsssss

Gwynlit always looks so shook as they step back from each other after the aging up sequence like he’s full dear-in-headlights (i know it’s ‘deer’ in headlights but he is Dear to Me so)

and really so is Dea for a second there

oh god her look of alarm changes to a smile the second Gwyn starts singing. i need a minute.

i love these two so much

the harmony will never not end my life why is it so powerful

idk what they put in this song but every single time my aroace self is like “shfjshfsj play this at my wedding” and then i have to be like “wait.”

Dea’s adorable and i hope she knows how adorable she is

im cry they’re so cute they’re so cute i love these two

Quake is on it about letting ppl know entertainment’s cancelled due to the king dying Quake is ready Quake loves her job so much

oh so the barrels are just there for Dirry-Moir and Osric to have somewhere to sit while Ursus tells the story okay

wait how quick did dude just throw on his Clarence costume and climb in the coffin that was. super duper fast

he’s literally offscreen for 24 seconds and managed to

holy cats how does he do it

wait also mojo tho. mojo had to put on his priest costume

wait also Osric and Dirry-Moir had to put on their Lord attire

and they say movies are supposed to be magic

just continuing to absolutely love every character played by ms. obianyo

love how they just. have trombones. 10/10

i mean i guess the costume changes aren’t super complicated like throw on a robe and a wig but STILL within 24 seconds? i think it’s impressive

oh hey jojo-as-a-random-lord is also here

ohhhhh is that why Jojo’s costume is Like That then? to make it easier to switch characters real fast? but no actually???

the hats on the lords tho. we’ve got Fish Lord, Bunny Lord,,, maybe some kind of Bird or Chicken Lord...

so it’s a Pig’s Foot that killed Clarence and the name of the holy relic translates to like, “pig’s flower” ...thematic....dots.......

oop there’s Only a Clown

ngl i kinda love Archbishop Kupsak. a weird dude.

would love to know why Angelica thought she needed to ‘make a law’ regarding traitors being brought to justice. just curious about her thought-process. heck she could probably have her own musical.

WAIT MS OBIANYO PLAYS THE TROMBONE. SICK.

wait hey, hey. hey. petition for ms. obianyo to play a FATE.

oh god it’s my least favorite scene

skip? no...but? no u-u

jojo apologize to the trash clown

scene too stressful

genuinely have no thoughts, head completely empty

CART SCENE CART SCENE CART SCENE

is that a bowl and spoon on th-

separate post separate post gentlefolks of the jury i

jaw twitch

okay but Dea gets this Look when Gwyn asks Ursus “who did this to me” she looks a little Surprised

does not react however to “who carved me into this freak”

the hand flex as Gwyn walks away from Ursus after Ursus Won’t Let Him Talk

oh Osric you absolute delight

beauty and the beast ii destroys me every time gwyn’s just steadily wilting but trying to hold on but he can’t and Dea’s so supportive

would love to know what Ursus’ take on all this would’ve been if he hadn’t been involved. like would he still be hell-bent on not letting Gwyn remember or would he have been more chill about letting Gwyn make that decision for himself

like on the one hand i can see why Ursus would think that maybe Gwyn would be better off not remembering, but also making him forget clearly didn’t actually help him suffer any less, it just gave him a different kind of suffering. He’s wrung-out tormented and Ursus can’t/won’t help him because of the potential repercussions of Gwyn learning the truth. which do include some Worst Timeline options for how that could go but. also include a few Gwyn’s Able To Move On And Live Well, With Or Without Ursus options so.

idk i just feel like after a certain point of seeing how Gwyn’s basically falling apart over all this Ursus really should’ve considered having that difficult Discussion bc that boy was Not getting better on Ursus’ Plan A

also the whole dismissively invalidating ur kid’s struggle is not a good look Ursus

i love him and absolutely believe he is definitely Trying His Best but he’s #Problematic_Dad for sure

that bit where Ursus notices Josiana as if for the first time and does that little bow to her oh my goodness XD

also him just trying so hard to keep it together in the lead-up to Born Broken. debating whether Ursus sticking his head through the curtain is the funniest part of this show. probably not but it’s real close

Dea’s so pretty and i love her outfit u-u

and her blue makeup

and her lovely lovely eyes like wow she’s Perfect

this girl is in her element and im fully convinced that in the version of events where Gwyn and Dea stay on as Lord and Lady Dea does some addressing of parliament or whatever, has speaking engagements, she’s all kinds of involved.

there’s tears in Ursus’ eyes during this bit and i don’t agree w/him but i do feel bad for him. he does want to do right by these kids but he’s just...it’s not working out for him because he can’t have it both ways.

i mean genuinely tho Ursus is so desperate to forget/bury/escape/move on from the past but in adopting Gwyn and trying to be a family and a fresh start for him...that shut down any chance of that actually happening.

no but fr Ursus’ face when Dea says “it doesn’t keep us safe, Father, it turns us against you” which is like. probably the exact thing he’s afraid of happening if they ever learn the truth.

*strums lyre* it’s a sad tale, it’s a tragedy!

Musical Ursus is fully a good dude who did one Stupid Thing and spent the rest of his life trying to control the damage only to make it Worse and then he died and i’m so! 😭

at the end of the second 30minutes but im keep going

Dea and Gwyn are holding hands so intently im feeling feelings about

harmonyyyyyyyy

ngl though i wonder if given Ursus’ “dear god, you pick your moments” and “who did what to you” if maybe this is something that’s just been festering and hasn’t been verbally brought up until the show’s events

“What do you want?! BLOOD?!” i mean u did script him as saying he wants to kill a man

“I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” i mean technically that’s true bc technically Gwyn does know, he just doesn’t remember, which is pretty much the same as not knowing but ayyyyyyyyyy

would love to know what Ursus thought was coming when Gwyn said “I can only tell them what I know I am” like

wait no but “I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” being followed by “I can only tell them what I know I am” idk how to say but oh heck oh heck oh heck heck oh no.

but yeah Ursus’ little glances at Gwyn and then the Turn as Gwyn starts to sing. i just wonder what Ursus is thinking just then

ohhhhhhhhh wait a minute now. stars stripped from the sky. the play on the lyrics from within Ursus’ show. the conversation they just had. is Freak Show (partially?) a vaguepost at Ursus 👀

no but the Wiggle before that next to last “watch me smile” tho

needs the backbend 🍹

hello Puppet Helmet Thing. i’ve developed a fondness for you, you unexplained and kind of weird yet near-infinitely interpretable element of the show.

and cutting here for length uwu

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writethehousedown · 4 years

Text

Here Comes the Sun 3/7 (Branjie) -- athena2

Day 3, Puddle: Vanessa has a run-in with a giant puddle that brings Brooke a little closer to her heart.

Thank you to Writ for betaing! I’d appreciate any feedback you have!

Lunch with Brooke. She’s going to have lunch with Brooke.

Vanessa takes a little extra care with her outfit this morning, whipping out a black dress with red and purple flowers–it is spring, after all, even if the weather doesn’t want to cooperate–and hits her hair with enough spray to hold even if the rain returns. She goes with her black flats, because she likes being small next to Brooke, so small she could just nestle against her, so small that Brooke leans down ever so slightly to make sure Vanessa hears her when she talks.

The sun hesitantly peeks out between the clouds, and Vanessa feels in each step that today is going to be a good day. She’s having lunch with Brooke. She finished her giant guinea pig craft, a sturdy foam board and fake fur recreation of Bertha, ready for the class to burst into oohs and aahs when they saw it. She forgets about the massive crater in the sidewalk that sends at least a dozen kids to the nurse with scrapes each year, that the school board has been promising to fix since the dawn of time. Pain in her knees means they broke her fall, and she’s so focused on holding onto the real Bertha in her carrying case that the craft guinea pig flies out of her grasp and slams into a puddle big enough to swim in with a loud splat.

For a minute she stays on the ground, resisting the urge to cry as dirty puddle water soaks the foam. It’s stupid, really, to be near tears over a craft project, but she spent most of the night on it, laying down fake fur with all the care she gives to real Bertha, and she just wanted it to be perfect.

“Vanessa, are you okay?”

Cool hands help her up, and Vanessa knows from the long, pale fingers–fingers skilled enough to cut out delicate snowflakes other teachers wouldn’t even attempt, including coveted Baby Yoda ones last winter–that the hands belong to Brooke.

Vanessa blinks away her daze as she stands. “I-I’m okay.”

“Your knees are a little scraped. The crater strikes again.”

Vanessa looks around Brooke’s shoulder into the puddle, heart sinking as she pulls out the craft. The entire thing is soaked with dirty gray water, fake fur clumped and tangled.

“I guess that’s the end of that,” she mutters.

“I’m sorry, Vanessa.” Brooke’s voice is so sincere it makes Vanessa shiver. “It’s Bertha, right?”

“It was. I was gonna have the kids make little ones and put them around her, like her babies. I guess I’ll have to do it another day.”

Brooke nods. “Why don’t we go inside? You can come in my room and I’ll fix up your knees. I have Batman Band-Aids,” she tempts.

Vanessa smiles despite herself. “Say no more.”

—

Vanessa perches herself on Brooke’s desk, which is much cleaner than hers. There’s neatly labelled trays for different papers, bins for markers and scissors, and a Totoro mug for pens and pencils. Vanessa hasn’t gotten a good look at Brooke’s classroom with its new spring decorations, and the bright colors keep her head spinning around while Brooke rubs cream on her knees. (Vanessa could have done it herself, really, but Brooke had offered in a nervous tone, desperate to help, and Vanessa agreed, touched by how much she wanted to help and unable to resist having Brooke’s hands touch her skin).

Bright green stems stretch up the classroom door, ending in tiny tulips and daffodils that each bear a student’s name. The walls are a construction paper animal kingdom come to life: white bunnies with cotton-ball tails hop around after carrots, yellow chicks splash water at each other, and red birds fly toward the ceiling (as high as they can go while still adhering to fire codes).

“Tell me you didn’t even need a ladder to hang those birds,” Vanessa teases.

Brooke applies the last Band-Aid, her hands soft and gentle. “I didn’t,” she admits, blush creeping into her cheeks. God, she’s adorable.

“I’m assuming you have some trouble hanging things up?” Brooke prompts with a grin.

Vanessa just sighs. “You know those warning signs saying not to stand on a stack of chairs, and you think, ‘what idiot would stand on a stack of chairs’?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m the idiot.” Vanessa cackles. “Tried to put my little alphabet signs over the chalkboard and went down like an avalanche. I was coughing up chalk dust for a month.”

Brooke bites her lip, like she’s afraid it would be rude to laugh, but when Vanessa starts, to let her know it’s okay, Brooke snorts so fiercely it makes Vanessa laugh even harder.

“I’m sorry,” Brooke gasps between snorts, “but that’s hilarious. You know, if you need anything hung up, just ask me.”

“I’ll do that.” Vanessa flexes her knees, now tricked out with the Dark Knight. “You’re a Band-Aid pro, by the way. My knees feel a lot better.”

“Good.” Brooke smiles. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“See you at lunch.”

It’s almost enough to make Vanessa forget about her ruined craft project.

—

Brooke’s kids are in art class with Miss Scarlet for the next 45 minutes, and she gets to work on her surprise for Vanessa.

There’s no template big enough, which means she’ll have to draw a giant guinea pig freehand. Vanessa’s much better at drawing than Brooke, that’s for sure. She usually goes for the trace-and-cut-out method, but Vanessa can actually draw. Sometimes Brooke watches her sketch during lunch, her tongue sticking out slightly, brown eyes narrowed in focus, and Brooke forgets all about her own sandwich, filling her body with nothing but Vanessa.

After ten guinea pig drawing tutorials and five unsuccessful attempts, Brooke spreads the successful poster board out on her long student tables.

She glues white fake fur over the whole thing, adding little brown spots and googly-eye stickers and a pink nose until it looks like Bertha. It’s not as good as Vanessa’s, looking a bit like a potato with legs, but Brooke hopes Vanessa will understand that she wanted to help, wanted to cheer her up after this morning.

When it’s lunch time, she tucks the board under her arm and knocks on Vanessa’s door.

“Brooke?” Vanessa’s eyes drift to the board and narrow in confusion.

“I made you a new guinea pig,” Brooke explains, showing Vanessa the board. “You were so upset about it, and I just…I wanted to help. I hope that’s okay.”

Vanessa’s hand goes to her mouth, and Brooke’s stomach writhes, certain she’s ruined things. She should have never done this, Vanessa hates her—

“Brooke, this is amazing!”

“You like it?”

“I really do. Thank you.” Her fingers brush against Brooke’s as she takes it, and Brooke’s body rushes with warmth.

“Lunch?” She offers.

Vanessa nods.

—-

Brooke hears some of the other teachers talking about the weather forecast, and the idea pops into her head. Something about Vanessa makes her want to be brave, want to take a chance like Nina always encourages. Brooke takes a deep breath and speaks before she loses her nerve.

“I was thinking, um, it’s supposed to be sunny tomorrow. Maybe we could take our kids out for a little picnic lunch?”

Vanessa’s eyes light up, so bright Brooke almost melts at how adorable Vanessa is, especially when she claps her hands and grins.

“I love that, Brooke! Let’s do it.” Her eyes take on a mischievous gleam. “What if me and you make lunch for each other?”

Brooke doesn’t stray too much in her food choices–mostly salads and sandwiches, leftovers of what she made for dinner. She likes routine, likes packing her lunch and knowing exactly what she’ll eat. But something about the prospect of Vanessa choosing things for her, taking the time to pick out what she thinks Brooke will like and packing it all up, makes her think a break from routine might be okay.

“Okay,” Brooke agrees. “Do you have any allergies I should know about? Picky about anything?”

“Ooh, I used to be picky like you wouldn’t believe. Survived a whole year on basically mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and tortillas when I was four.” Vanessa laughs. “I’m not that picky anymore. No allergies either. PB and J, deli stuff, whatever. Just don’t feed me any broccoli.”

Brooke snorts. “I wouldn’t serve broccoli to my worst enemy. I don’t have any food allergies either.”

Vanessa reaches out her hand. “It’s a picnic date then.”

Brooke shakes it, Vanessa’s skin soft and smooth and warm, sending courage through Brooke’s heart. “It’s a date.”

Tags: rpdr fanfiction, branjie, brooke lynn hytes, vanessa vanjie mateo, athena2, here comes the sun, lesbian au, spring fling 2020, day 3: puddle

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #athena2 #here comes the sun #lesbian au #spring fling week 2020 #day 3: puddle #submission

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clembarbarossa · 5 years

Text

Rest and Peace I

The life of an Assassin is one of constant toil, emotional duress and gruesome murders. So, I thought it would be nice to give them rest. Nice days to recover and do what they enjoy at least, amongst their loved ones.

Hey everyone! I started I series of fics whose theme is going to be the Assassins (and some Templar) depicted in peaceful moments, often with love and intimacy, because they deserve it.

My first fic feature Ratonhnhaké:ton, along with some Homesteaders, and is dedicated to my good friend @jiruchan! Enjoy!

There is some Kanienké’ha in this fic too. Feel free to correct me if I messed things up.

You may read it here on Ao3 too.

________________________________________________________________

August was coming to an end. The air was still warm, the smouldering summer heat under which Warren and Prudence had to toll wasn’t entirely gone. The year was good, the harvest bountiful thanks to the rich soil of the homestead. His carriage filled with caskets of corn, bags of wheat and vegetables, Warren went to Boston to sell their crops.

Still, Prudence had her hands full. Pigs, Cows, Sheep and Poultry to tend to, and so many vegetables yet to pick, and the most delicate task of all: Hunter.

The boy was no longer a baby she could strap to her back while working. At four years of age, he was as swift and lively as the bunnies that constantly tried to nibble at their pumpkins. Prudence was even more worried that he apparently inherited her restlessness. Since her pregnancy and eventful delivery, she toned down her escapades in the wilderness: she felt like her poor Warren’s heart shouldn’t be furthermore mistreated and brave Connor couldn’t be around every time to save her from bears or impatient babies. Speaking of the wolf…

Ratonhnhaké:ton was peacefully walking down the path bordering the farm. Going to Myriam cabin, no doubt to plan their next delivery of fresh furs. What intrigued Prudence was that the young man wasn’t wearing his heavy hooded coat, even he had to adapt to the heat after all. Even more unusual was the absence of any of his weapons, no bow nor guns and neither tomahawk at his sides. Only his peculiar leather bracers remained.

“Conno’!” Young Hunter had spotted Ratonhnhaké:ton too, and rushed to his side with his usual recklessness. The balance of four years olds being what it is, he tripped a first time, and a second that made him land flat on the ground. The boy began to wail a mere two second after and Prudence could not refrain a chuckle, her son certainly had had worse stunts. Connor picked him up and brushed the dirt off with his hand.

“Hello Connor, what deadly injury has my child sustained?” she jokingly asked.

“Nothing worth bothering Dr White,” he softly replied, as Hunter stopped crying “this case seems beyond saving, I am afraid…”

Prudence laughed at Connor’s unexpected joke; the humour was lost to Hunter who whined and clang to the young man. The usually touch-adverse Connor welcomed the toddler’s embrace and picked him up in his arms as he got up.

“You were up to discuss furs and pelts with Myriam, I wager?”

“Yes. Ellen is expecting a big commission from Boston and needed material, it will be easier to do if we team up.”

“Indeed. Now sweetheart,” she turned to her son, “Connor has business to do, you heard, so you better leave him be…”

Hunter yelped a defiant “No!” and clang harder to Connor when his mother attempted to grab him. The frown she made reminded Connor of how his own mother reacted to him misbehaving; she shifted her tone accordingly:

“Oh no, you son of mine, you do not talk back to me.” Prudence growled without raising her usually gentle voice, “no one has time for a tantrum here, not Connor and certainly not me.” Hunter made a sad put and started to loosen his grip on Connor when the man spoke:

“I do not mind if he stays with me, Prudence. You look like you have much to do and I am not that busy myself.”

Prudence was taken aback by her friend’s proposal, but she had to admit it was a tempting one; she could finish her work much earlier without her toddler scampering around.

“Aw that’s awfully nice of you Connor, but you are like Warren you spoil him too much, he’s going to turn rotten!” Hunter stuck his tongue out at his mother who playfully flicked him on the nose, the toddler giggled.

“Sorry for that”, Connor said with a smile.

“Don’t apologise for bein’ nice. And thank you, I could use this help, I trust you with him more than Terry’s boys.”

Connor chuckled, Malcolm and Angus were rowdy kids and their last attempt at babysitting nearly ended in disaster. Thankfully, Norris saw them in his mine before lighting his charge’s fuse.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

One of the first things Hunter told Connor when he started to talk was for asking him why he is so tall. The adults around laughed at the young boy’s questions. Prudence didn’t miss the occasion and proclaimed that Connor became so tall because he wasn’t fussing when eating his soup, unlike a certain someone. Oliver thought more likely that the robust and meaty native diet was to thanks for that and Lyle White pondered if the fresh air of the Kanien’ké valley, free of the towns’ miasma, was responsible. Connor had no answers, although his parents were certainly not short. The memories of both Kaniehtí:io and Haytham made him fell silent for the rest of the evening.

Now, Connor long legs and usual fast paced walk rapidly proved way too quick for little Hunter who scrambled behind him.

“Conno’… Conno’!” The young man turned to face his charge, Hunter’s face clearly showed his frustration as he approached, “you too fast… I can’t follow you…”

“You are right, Hunter. My apologies.” Ratonhnhaké:ton softly replied, he extended his hand to the boy who eagerly took it.

For the rest of the walk, Connor had to lean and adjust his pace to Hunter’s. He didn’t mind as the child was extremely happy that way. He was hopping alongside his friend on the forest path and pointing at the birds while making joyful noises. Connor was used of this now, and resisted the urge to chide him for what would be seen as awfully rude amongst his people. He caught sight of a Northern Cardinal, all crimson, singing on a branch. “Look Connor, all the pretty feathers! Do you use its feather for your hair?”, the boy asked.

“We do not. We use Eagle’s feathers.”

“Oh. And why do you use feathers?”.

Connor pondered the question and the best way to answer it to the boy. It was not often that Colonists asked him questions about his culture, even amongst his Assassin brethren. “We use it to celebrate, to show our feats to our people and our origin too.”

“Origin?”

“Well... I am from the Kanien’kehá:ka nation, or… Mohawk as some say. If I want to show it to the people of other tribes, I will have to put three eagle’s feathers in my hair.”

“Oh!” Hunter showed a great deal of interest that surprised Connor, “and why don’t you do it now then?”

“I… I am not… It will not fit with my hood.”

“Aw… to bad, because I think it’s pretty!”

“Yes. And we use feather to make things pretty too.” Hunter giggled.

As they were nearing Myriam’s cabin, Connor spotted an Owl that Hunter didn’t see. He kneeled beside the boy and pointed at it with is lips, in native fashion. “Look here: tsihstekeri.”

“What!?” The toddler’s shout startled the bird of prey who angrily stared at them both.

“Tsihstekeri,” repeated Connor, “That’s how my people call the owls.”

“Wah! And how you call eagles?”

“Akweks.” Ratonhnhaké:ton replied.

Connor was baffled but endeared by Hunter’s awe. To a four years old boy still struggling with English, the idea that things could be named in a whole different language was a constant source of amazement. When they reached Myriam’s cabin, Connor smiled and said “Iontó:rats.”

“Hello to you too, Connor.” Myriam absentmindedly replied; she was sharpening the knife Norris once gifted her. “Kwey[1]! That’s how you say it too, right?”

That word was familiar to Ratonhnhaké:ton, it was the first that sprung out of the lips of the tribes north and south of the Great Lakes and the Great Walking River[2] when they meet each other.

“This is a greeting we use amongst many people, though my brethren usually say Shé:kon, to greet one another.”

“Then what did you say, just now?”, Myriam stood up, “I hope you weren’t calling me names”, she jokingly added.

“Conno’ is teaching me words!”, Hunter suddenly shouted.

“Yes, Iontó:rats means ‘Huntress’.”

“Oh well, ‘Yon-do-rads’? That’s nice to know. And how would you call a little hunter like we have here?”, she said while smiling at Hunter.

“Rató:rats.”, he replied, while smiling at his young charge who beamed back.

Connor and Myriam started discussing their upcoming tasks: on which ground to hunt and which to lay traps, where to find the best furs for Ellen. Hunter quickly bore of this conversation and began to wander around the Huntress’s cabin. The sight of dead trapped rabbits and drying furs didn’t faze the little farm boy much, he was used to it, watching his father kill pigs and poultry then playing in the feathers his mother plucked. The traps aligned by the door caught his eyes however. While the snares where not much to look at, the wolf and bear traps, with their sharp teeth, inspired him a morbid curiosity…

“Do not touch that, Hunter!”

Connor’s shout snapped him out of his little examination, his fingers already too close to the rusty maws, thankfully closed.

“Oh, you need to keep an eye on that one, remind me of someone…” snickered Myriam.

“Indeed” Connor beckoned Hunter to approach, as the toddler came closer, pouting all the way, he took his hand in his own, “There are things you should not touch, little one,” he lightly squeezed his fingers to make his point, “those could easily hurt you if you are not careful. Do you understand?”

Hunter nodded and looked away, a bit upset by the lecture, Connor elected not to mind that. Myriam laughed as she stood up.

“Well, I’m not in a hurry to get one of my own. It’d be complicated to have another baby around.”

“I’m not a baby…” muttered Hunter and Myriam laughed again, tried to gently poke his puffed cheeks only for the boy to whine and hide behind Connor’s broad back.

“You and Norris aren’t planning to have one?”

“Well, he’d like too, and I’m not really against it, but you know how I feel about the whole housewife business.”

“I do,” Connor smiled, “and the trees remember too.”

“Oh please,” Myriam rolled her eyes, “Don’t bring this up, I panicked and nearly ruined my dress in this damn river.”

They both laughed while Hunter side-eyed them.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Ratonhnhaké:ton and Hunter were back into the wilds, the adults assigned each other places were to lay traps. Once again, Connor was carrying Hunter on his shoulders, to protect him from the bushes and vines. Hunter was lazily resting on Connor’s head, humming a little tune while playing with his braids. Connor didn’t mind and was looking for good spots for trapping foxes. Since he was in charge of Hunter, both he and Myriam thought it wiser that she takes care of the wolves and their pelts.

Finding a good place, he crouches to lay his snare and place some bait. Hunter tighten his grip on Connor’s head and giggles as these movements make him rock back and forth. Connor playfully moves his shoulders to humour the child some more. Hunter’s laughter of delight echoes under the trees and scare off numerous birds.

“Ush, Hunter, look.” Connor pointed toward the edge of the forest, by a clearance bathed in sunlight, first with his lips, then with his hands when Hunter didn’t understand. “Over there, quietly…”

The boy squinted in this direction then gasped.

“A doe!” His whisper barely concealed his excitement.

“Yes. Oskenón:ton. Keep looking, under her belly.” Hunter focused, and saw a small creature peeking under the deer, similar but smaller with a constellation of white spots on its back.

“Her baby!”, this time Hunter wasn’t as discreet and shouted. The doe stiffened and raised her head, sniffing the air, her ears twisting in all direction, searching for any trace of danger. Hunter realised his mistake and covered his mouth with his hands.

“You need to be careful, Hunter,” whispered Connor, “Do not make any noise, lest you want to startle the animals.”

The doe hopped back in the thick of the woods, her progeny right after her.

“Aw no~” Hunter pouted, disappointment clear in his voice,

“You will have other chances. Just remember to be silent, alright.” Ratonhnhaké:ton felt the boy’s nodding and resumed walking.

“Conno~?”

“Hum?”

“I’m hungry…”

“Is that so? Hum…” Connor thought of an answer as Hunter was starting to squirm, he remembered a place where blackberry brambles were growing and probably bear fruits this time of year, it would be a good trapping ground too. “Do you like blackberries, Hunter?”

“I do! I do!”, the boy shouted in excitation and trampled his legs on Connor’s torso. “Let’s go pick bwackberries, Conno’!”

The young man laughed at the sound of his charge’s childish slurs and enthusiasm and sprung forward.

Despite Connor’s firm grip on the boy’s legs, he did bounce quite a bit on his shoulders. Hunter’s laughter and encouragement to go faster made him increase his pace. A soft wind began to blow, ruffling the leaves and the grass, cooling both of their faces. Hunter laughed even more and raised his arms to try and catch the leaves blown away. Connor kept his fast pace and the speed made forest around them blur in shades of green and brown.

As they were nearing the brambles, Connor slowed down but kept skipping to humour the child. Even amongst Hunter’s giggles, he could distinctly hear a ruffle in the bushes that was way too loud to be of a hare, and far too near to be on an animal anyway. He came to an abrupt stop and gently placed in index on Hunter’s lips to advise him silence, the boy gasped and froze, taking this as a new game or the chance to see another creature.

As they stood silent and listening, the ruffling increased.

“Shit!”

“Oh! That’s not an animal!” exclaimed Hunter, “Hey! Your mommy will wash your mouth with a soap if you swear!”

“Don’t tell Ellen, then!” a girlish voice replied beyond the brambles. Connor recognised it as Maria’s. He couldn’t see the girl yet but heard her struggling in the bushes.

“We will not, Maria. But what are you doing?” As he said that, Connor was approaching and saw the teenage girl, her dress tangled in the brambles and stained by blackberries. She looked up with a mixed expression of contrition and anger, somewhat softened by the sight of little Hunter perched atop Connor’s shoulders.

“I was just strolling around. Something startled me and… Mom is going to kill me.” She said looking at the disaster brought on her dress.

“She certainly will not,” Connor reassured her, “but she will probably want you to fix your dress.”

“Same thing! I hate doing it, I don’t wanna become a seamstress, damn it!”

“You should not swear in front of Hunter.”, Connor warned as he was getting the boy off his shoulders.

“Right,” she sniffled, “Sorry, I… I have been trapped here for a quarter of an hour at least…”

“Conno’ and I we saw a lot of birds,” exclaimed Hunter, running toward her, “and a doe and her baby!”

“Ah… I that so?”, Maria replied with a grimace, trying to be somewhat amiable to the toddler.

“Yes!” He lowered his voice, “and Conno’ he told me to be quiet because… because we shouldn’t scare the mommy with her baby!” He exclaimed anew, forgetting his caretaker’s advice.

“Her fawn, Hunter.” Connor softly corrected him as he started to help Maria getting untangled.

“Fawn!” Hunter joyfully repeated, “We saw a doe and her fawn, Maria!”

“You two are lucky, then… The only thing I saw was a go… a cursed wolverine. Foul beast snarled at me, that’s why I ran and got caught here.”

“You did well,” replied Connor, “better getting caught in a thicket than treading on the ferocious Tsikenekerehetshotáhrhon.”

“The what?!?” Exclaimed Maria.

“Conno’ is teaching me animal names in his language.” Answered Hunter, “An eagle you call it ‘Ag-wek’!”

“Oh. That’s nice…” Hunter proudly beamed at her. “I think you’ll have to cut some of it Connor, it’d be too tattered even if you get it out anyway… And I forgot my knife…”

“It looks like you are right…” Connor glanced at Hunter to check where he was looking; luckily, he was already picking and savouring the blackberries. Connor swiftly detached is left hidden blade to cut Maria free of the thorns. She stumbled out the way and stretched her legs, enjoying her new freedom.

“Ah, thank you Connor! You must have magical power, always here to save people when needed!”

“I wish it was true, Maria,” sadly replied Connor, he handed her the ragged piece of cloth he just got out of the bramble.

“Maria! Say “Aaah”!”, Maria looked down to see Hunter presenting a blackberry for her to pick, the boy already had purple juice all over his mouth. She got the fruit with her mouth and smothered Hunter’s giggles with her new rag.

<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Once the trio had their fill of blackberries, or “Teiote’nenhrà:kton” as Ratonhnhaké:ton taught them, they got to rest at the edge of a clearing. Hunter was running around after the butterflies, observing the various insects frolicking in the grass. Maria lent him her mop cap to shelter his head from the sun. It made him look rather odd, and her quite improper by colonial standard, with her brown locks free on her back, but neither of them cared, and neither did Connor.

They were both sitting in the shade of a great oak, keeping an eye on the kid, a small mount of berries on a leather piece between them from which Maria regularly picked. Her chin was resting on her knees and her hands were buried in her dress. Connor was more relaxed; his legs were stretched in front of him and he was resting on his elbows. He didn’t get to place a lot of snares but that was something he could always do latter, with a more proper equipment this time.

“I should do like Myriam and wear trousers when I go for a walk”, Maria suddenly muttered.

“That would be more convenient indeed.” Replied Connor, “You said you don’t like sewing, but couldn’t you make yourself a pair?”

Maria frowned and half buried her face behind her knees, “I asked Mom… she said it wasn’t proper, quoted a part of the Bible that said it was an ‘abomination’,” Maria snorted of frustration, “and made me read ten pages of it!”.

“I see.” Connor understood the teenager frustration, colonial women had to put up with a lot of constraints while those of his people were the one running the show. His own reading of the Bible was motivated by his desire to better understand colonial society. While he managed to chew through the Genesis and Exodus, wondering all the way which parts were true, which were fictions and how many pieces of Eden were involved, the following books infuriated him with their nonsensical rules. He gave up and Father Timothy had the kindness to explain the rest to him. “I hope she doesn’t say that about Myriam.”

“No. I brought her up actually, and she said that Myriam wear pants because of her trade and that – unlike me – she’s an adult.”

“Eh, she has a point.”

“Still, it’s unfair. I don’t mind dresses, but what’s the point of letting me explore if I have to keep it?”

“You really do like the wilderness around here, do you?”, Connor asked. He saw a glimmer in Maria’s eyes before she answered.

“Yes! I love it here! Everything is beautiful, it’s quiet, I discover new things every week, I doesn’t stink, and the people are nice. It’s not like in New-York…”, her demeanour suddenly darkened, “When this piece of trash was beating Mom again, I was asking for help to everyone… The neighbours, the guards, nobody answered… If you didn’t happen to be here…”

“I was. And I would do it again anytime, Maria.” Connor comforted her, “As will everyone in the homestead.”

“I know. That’s why I like it here.” She said with a smile. Connor smiled as well; it was during these moments that he knew everything he was doing wasn’t in vain. That he was actually able to help people be safe and happy. They both stayed silent a little while until Hunter ran toward them.

“Conno’!! Maria! Look what I got! Look!” The overexcited toddler opened his hands to reveal a massive spotted beetle with a pair of horns on its head[3].

“That is a good catch, Hunter.” Connor said, “Well done.”

“Looks like a Rhinoceros…” Maria mumbled.

“A what?” Hunter asked.

“Rhi-no-ce-ros. It’s a giant beasty from Africa with two horns on its head, like your bug here. I’m sure Connor has heard of it.”

“I did not. You seem really knowledgeable on the matter, Maria.”

The young girl struggled a bit to refrain a smile of pride, “I have a book with a lot of engravings of animals from all around the world, some of them reaaally weird. I got it at school because of my good grades.” She noticed the gleam of expectation in Hunter’s big eyes, “I’ll show it to you, if you want”

The toddler beamed at the proposal and voiced his approval of the idea. It was at this moment that the beetle decided it had enough of his handling and flew off his hands. The young boy tried to catch it without any success.

“Ah no! It was gift for Mommy!”

“Living beings are no gift, Hunter. Especially wild animals, that’s why it got away, you cannot deprive it of its freedom.” Connor lectured him.

“And I don’t think Prudence would like this kind of gift anyway,” snarked Maria, “You should get her a bouquet instead, there’s plenty for it in this meadow.”

Hunter instantly got his smile back and ran away in the grass to pick flowers. Connor chuckled, memories came back of an adventure where a flowery gift was less appreciated, but Prudence would like it no doupt.

“So, you were good at school, a pity there isn’t any here.”

“Oh, I had time to learn a lot. And Father Timothy keeps teaching me about a lot of things, not just the Bible. And he’s waaay nicer than the Pastor’s wife who was teaching us back in New York.”

“Good to hear. And… do you know what you want to do later?”

“I already work with Mom, and she wants me to take over after her.” She buried her face between her knees again, “And I don’t want to be a seamstress. I think that I want to see more of the world and help people, like you do.”

Connor’s back stiffened. It wasn’t an answer he was expecting, part of him felt pride and approval, but he also felt fear, for his path was hard, dangerous, and thankless. For his brothers and sisters, being an Assassin was their choice. On the contrary, it was something destiny, or dreadful spirits, threw at him and he embraced it without fully realising the implications at first and he had to learn the hard way. He wasn’t one to turn down expectations and potential recruits, but dragging a young girl into his world was the last thing he wanted, especially the daughter of a friend.

“I just help people I encounter.” Connor tried to divert the subject, “It is just something anyone would do, and should do.”

“Ah! You’re humble but you won’t fool me. No ordinary hunter would go around with a frigate, and with those knives inside your wrists”, she glanced at Connor’s hidden blades’ bracers, “Achilles and you were working for people like Tallmadge, right? Helping the Patriots during the war?”

“You… Let’s say that you are not far from the truth.” Connor was impressed by the girl’s deductions and relieved that her conclusion was wrong while still plausible.

“Humpf! You can’t hide it from me,” she said with a mischievous smile, “Once I manage to make a pair of pants under Mom’s nose, you’ll have to teach me how to run in the trees like you do.”

Connor chuckled, “Why not? Myriam could give you some lessons as well.”

Maria brought her legs closer to her body, but Connor could clearly see her wide and proud smile.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

As the afternoon was ending, the trio made its way back to the village. Hunter was holding Maria’s hand and his flowers in the other, hopping and humming a tune. Ratonhnhaké:ton was walking besides them, holding a generous bounty of berries in a bag. As they were approaching Ellen and Maria’s house, the girl made a stop.

“Mom is going to scold me for the dress…”

“Probably, but she will also be glad to see you safe and sound. Trying to hide the truth from her is a bad idea, she will know in a way or another.”

“Right…” Maria sighed and went along with Hunter as the boy was pulling her hand.

Maria’s fears were only partially true: Ellen clearly wasn’t happy with the dress but her anger was alleviated by the offering of blackberries, the fact that Maria had to run from a wolverine and the laugh she had when she noticed Hunter still wearing her daughter’s mop cap.

Before they left, she offered a red ribbon to properly hold Hunter’s bouquet, and quickly re-arranged the flowers to better suit Prudence’s tastes despite the boy’s protests when she left the dandelions out.

After proper good-byes, and Maria’s renewal of her promise to show her book to Hunter, they left for the farm. Connor indulged Hunter with another ride on his shoulder. The toddler was overjoyed when Connor crossed the river by doing some free-running on a log instead of the bridge.

When they reached the farm, Prudence was resting under the porch, Connor let go of Hunter and the child ran to his mother.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look what I got you!”

“You what? Oh!” Prudence laughed when her son shoved the flowers under her nose to give her a good look of it. “Thank you, my son, I like your flowers very much.”

“Maria told me to do it and Ellen gave me the ribbon. Do they smell good?” the boy asked. His mother took the bouquet a smelled it, she did it noisily on purpose before giving her verdict.

“They smell wonderful, Hunter.” He beamed and Prudence embraced her son as thanks. This view brought a smile to Connor, he was happy to see that some were able to freely enjoy what was taken from him.

“Well now I’ll have to put them in a vase.” She said while standing up, “A thousand thanks to you Connor, for taking care of my son. I hope he wasn’t too much to handle and that he didn’t prevent you from doing your work.”

“Your son behaved splendidly, Prudence. And don’t worry, none of my tasks had any urgency. I’ll leave you two be for now to attend to it.”

“Wait!” Hunter yelped as Connor was leaving. The toddler ran to the man to hug him. Connor smiled and accepted his embrace.

“Good bye, Conno’. I’ll get to spend time with you again and you’ll teach me other words, right?”

“Right.” Connor smiled, “As soon as I can. Goodbye for now, Rató:rats.” Hunter laughed.

After really leaving and waving back, Connor was left by himself again. The Sun was starting to set and the warm evening light was bathing the trees and meadows. Musty smells of flowers, earth, evergreens and berries were filling the air. Insects and birds were chirping, only interrupted by the occasional breeze that contrasted nicely with the warmth of late August’s weather.

As he came into view of the Manor, Ratonhnhaké:ton realised – with a pinch of sadness to his heart – that it was the first time in months that he had such a nice and quiet time. He probably won’t get another moment like it anytime soon, but such was his work as an Assassin. After all, it was the joy and relief he could bring to others and the promise of such times that made it worth it.

Clearing the clouds of sadness off his mind, like he already did so many times before, and armed with a new resolve, he prepared himself to gear up again.

End notes :

[1] Algonquin for “Hello”, it became a word for salute in many north-eastern languages.

[2] The Saint-Lawrence river

[3] Eastern Hercules Beetle (Dynastes tityus). It looks like a beige Rhinoceros beetle, with black spots.

#Mes Bafouilles #Ratonhnhaké:ton #Connor Kenway #Fanfiction #Assassin's Creed #Kids #Hunter #Maria #Prudence #Ellen #Myriam #Rest and Peace

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dogrocks · 6 years

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i’m gonna vent because i’m angry and i don’t like twitter anymore

for our human-animal interaction assignment (that’s due in next week) we had to train an animal the college has, and we could pick any animal that’s trainable such as a guinea pig, rabbit, marmoset, rat. some girl got ambitious and tried to see if she could train a lizard but it wasn’t to an avail. we were also given the option to use a dog because most of our teachers have one that they can bring in.

there are only 5 of us in this class, and we were able to choose the animals we could train. even though the college has multiple rabbits, we could only train the two younger ones they had (probably because the other ones were too old?? idk) so that means only two of us can use the rabbits. we had to train on our own, no pairs or anything. i decided to take one bunny, and another girl takes the other. i was only going to train it to do something simple; touch this thing and get a treat.

but this fucking girl right. she had initially wanted to train a guinea pig, the college has 6 guinea pigs in total, and for some whatever reason, she decides after one failed training attempt with one fucking guinea pig to choose a different animal. and get this, she wanted to train a rabbit instead, even though the only rabbits we were allowed to train were taken, and she could have easily gone for another animal like a rat or a marmoset, or better go for a different guinea pig. we had plenty of time to see if we really wanted to choose our animals. and of course she chooses my bunny, and we had to work together. on this training assignment. that we were supposed to do on our own. so now this poor rabbit has to learn two things at once.

prior to the training i did not like this girl for my own reasons (treated me like shit and said mean things, and was also annoying in class) but i thought “hey okay, maybe i can learn to at least tolerate her? i know she was mean to me but hey i wanna be the bigger person here”. so i grinned and beared it, even though this training is going to have way more hassle now.

but not even a few weeks into taking turns in training this rabbit, the girl starts complaining on how this tiny baby rabbit wasn’t doing what she wanted (which was way more complicated than what i wanted it to do) and complaining like ohhhh we’re not going to pass this assignment (bitch who’s saying we). i was like shut up oh my god just let him do this thing. i get that he’s not a dog and training him will be more difficult but see that’s the thing: he’s not a dog, he’s a bunny. he’s a social prey animal that just wants to hide in a safe environment. he was going to be harder to work with than a dog, and no doubt the poor thing was getting overwhelmed by getting trained by two people at the same time, one of them whom was trying to train it to do something complicated and yelling at it for not doing what she wanted. it wasn’t doing much for me either, but i was patient with it. i understood that it was probably overwhelmed, and i never once yelled at it for just doing its own thing. i just wanted it to feel safe.

i definitely would have changed animals if i were given the chance, but by the time i had to be paired with her i had already confirmed with my teacher that i wanted to train this rabbit, had figured out what i wanted to train it to do, and had started doing the training plans, so i was in too deep to back out. also you would most successfully train your animal if you were to do it every day. we were only allowed to do this once a week, at a 6 week period. even the teacher had to remind her of this, amidst all of her complaining.

but the shittiest thing was, in order to get a distinction (which is like an A) in this assignment, you have to actually have the animal trained. and of course the rabbit wasn’t trained so i couldn’t get the full mark. eventually at the end the girl gives in and goes to train one of the newer rabbits which made me think why didn’t you do that in the first place. i was also given the option to change my animal but i was like no? i didn’t want to give up just because the bunny was simply overwhelmed by two people. i figured that now only i am training it, it would be more focused. but alas it was too late.

so now neither of us can get the full marks in that assignment because the mean girl was also a complete buffoon, and the teacher seemed to forget about her own assignment on how we were supposed to do this on our own for obvious reasons. it would have burnt less if i was actually doing the whole thing on my own anyway, because at least i would have learnt something and the rabbit probably would have felt more comfortable with being around people. but after all this it probably just feels confused and inundated.

the other shitty thing is i actually want to complain to my teacher about this because it just seems unprincipled to not give the girl an option to train another animal, and pair us up and expect both of us to train the animal. but i don’t think i will ever get the chance to since we don’t have 1-1 meetings anymore and i just want to get out of this college by june with decent qualifications that will warrant me to work with pigs or whatever. but this assignment has basically given me the bird over and over and i’m going to be forever salty about the whole thing.

#it's not a vague #well it kinda is but it's a real life situation #i'm so mad #meows #i think the only way i could voice this to my teacher was if i was passive aggressive in my conclusion #how does this sound #'it didn't succeed because it was probably too overwhelmed even though we were supposed to train on our own'#'and the stupid bitch i was working with had an option to pick a different animal'

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thegreenwolf · 7 years

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In yesterday’s post I talked about how our lack of nature literacy can be deadly to animals. It’s the latest in a series of posts I’ve made concerning anthropocentrism, or putting humans at the center of everything rather than as part of a vibrant global community. Coincidentally, not long after I made that post, I reblogged a post on Tumblr concerning the problem with “rescuing” baby animals that aren’t actually abandoned. I observed that many baby animals never survive their first year, and it’s nature’s way for them to become food for other animals that do end up surviving to adulthood. Considering that not all wildlife does well in rehabilitation centers, even when cared for by professionals, I consider it a better idea to leave young, injured or ill animals out in nature where they’ll feed others.

I know it sounds cruel, especially coming from someone who does very much appreciate the other species on this planet. When we’re faced with a tiny, fuzzy, cute little baby bunny, we often want to do everything in our power to save it. We want there to be a happy ending for this creature that has intersected with our lives. And there’s nothing wrong with having that sort of compassion for another living being; truth be told, compassion’s been a little thin on the ground.

But predators get short shrift. It starts from young childhood, where we’re fed stories and cartoons with predatory animals being the Bad Guys, and their hapless victims–who invariably come out on top–are prey animals, bunnies and ducks and pigs and mice. This bias can last a lifetime. In his seminal work, Of Wolves and Men, Barry Holstun Lopez examines in detail the reasons many human cultures, particularly European and American, have so badly persecuted gray wolves. It is impossible to boil down his invaluable observations in just a few sentences, but this quote, from page 140, says a lot:

The hatred [of wolves] has religious roots: the wolf was the Devil in disguise. And it has secular roots: wolves killed stock and made men poor. At a more general level it had to do, historically, with feelings about wilderness. What men said about the one, they generally meant about the other. To celebrate wilderness was to celebrate the wolf; to want an end to wilderness and all it stood for was to want the wolf’s head.

Look at the animals that we try to protect in our suburban lawns and urban gardens: baby bunnies, baby deer, baby birds. These are the animals who have wound their way around our human-dominated landscapes without doing too much trouble. Sure, they might get into the lettuce and dig up the carrots, but you don’t need to fear for your life if a few does are grazing in your yard early in the morning.

Contrast what happens if there’s an alleged mountain lion sighting on the fringes of a neighborhood that has recently chewed up wildlife habitat. People are frantic, telling their children not to leave the yard and keeping housepets indoors. Missives go out telling people how to protect themselves against cougar attacks. The local game officials get calls from people wanting the “threat exterminated”. And plans to reintroduce large predators from areas where they’ve been extirpated are met with similar resistance out of fear of what could possibly happen.

We don’t even consider the needs of smaller predators. Foxes, weasels, hawks and other smaller predatory critters are better able to adapt to human encroachment on wilderness than their larger counterparts like bears and lynx. But we humans manage to find all sorts of ways to interfere with their livelihoods, from removing hiding places and den sites, to poisoning their rat and mouse prey with anticoagulant poisons that kill the predator hapless enough to eat the poisoned prey. And we further cause problems when we take away injured, ill, or merely poorly hidden baby animals that represent an easy meal.

That “easy meal” is important, especially in spring. Rabbits and deer aren’t the only ones raising young. So are foxes, coyotes, hawks, bobcats and other hunters. And while the babies are too young to hunt for themselves, it’s up to the adults to feed not only themselves but their entire brood as well. The less energy and time a predator has to invest in finding food and bringing to back to the den or nest, the more food they can collect, and the more likely it is that at least some of their young will survive to adulthood. Nests of baby rabbits in the grass, a fawn tucked away under a bush, a baby bird that’s fallen out of the nest–these all represent quick sources of nourishment with low risk and high return.

Moreover, not every baby animal taken in to a rehab facility will survive. My first job out of college was working at a veterinary clinic that treated both domestic and wild animals (with the necessary permits, of course.) While baby birds did fairly well, simply wanting someone to feed them every hour or so, baby rabbits fared much more poorly. Wild rabbits are very easily stressed out by humans, and even the process of feeding them with eyedroppers could be too much for them to handle. And if an animal dies in a rehab facility, its remains are likely to either be thrown out or buried; either way, out of reach of predators that could really use the calories.

So this spring, if you happen across a nest of baby bunnies or a fallen fledgling, I suggest leaving them exactly where they are. Either they’ll be rescued by their parents, figuring things out on their own if they’re old enough, or they’ll feed the next generation of foxes and other predatory critters. If you’re going to appreciate nature, appreciate ALL of it, not just the cute, fuzzy, human-friendly portions thereof. Nature’s cycles developed long before we began messing with them, and even our well-intended actions can cause more harm than good.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider picking up a copy of my book Nature Spirituality From the Ground Up, which weaves together natural history and pagan spirituality.

#wildlife #animals #nature #ecology #environment #mine

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madness-of-void · 7 years

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Little Distraction

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Theme: Kids

Based on this post

The thing about accepting a date from some dude that sat next to you in your advanced photography class just because he was cute was...well...

It was a bad idea.

Stiles could tell that all the dude wanted was to get in his pants. Bad. Add a notch to that belt above the fornication bed. Not that he minded. Stiles hadn't been laid in a few years. He was quite surprised by his ability to ignore his libido and breeze by classes like it was nothing.

But he did miss sex. Sorta. He didn't need it, per se. He could live without it. And besides, he liked getting to know people before he decided to share something completely intimate with them.

But this guy, this incredibly cute dude in his advanced photography class, with the dimples and curly red hair and pretty blue eyes, just...no. Nothing fun about him. All he had going for him was the looks. Now, if his efforts were more focused on trying to engage Stiles in some type of interesting conversation rather than attempting to give him a boner from under the table in a fucking public place...

Out of all the first dates Stiles had ever been on, this one had to be the worst.

He had no idea how to get out of this uncomfortable situation. Not a single clue. Sure, he could tell the guy to go have intercourse with a cactus, but he has calmed down a lot since his high school days. He wasn't as much of an ass as he used to be. Though he was definitely considering it. Wasn't like the dude didn't deserve it.

Thankfully, a blessing in disguise showed up.

And what was said blessing?

A baby.

An adorable, rosy cheeked, olive skinned, tousled black haired, stunning golden-green eyed, Gameboy onesie wearing baby.

Instantly, Stiles forgot all about his terrible date. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

Now, Stiles adored babies. They were just so small and cute and innocent and sweet – how could anyone hate them?! His eyes focused with intense joy on the little tyke, even when the father (at least he thinks it is the father) got in the way briefly. All he saw of the maybe dad was the back of his head, which was the same black as the baby, and the fact that the guy was made of muscle. Other than that, the world revolved around the bouncing baby boy in the highchair.

“Oh my god...so cute...” he whispered, leaning in closer.

“I am?” his date asked, a smirk forming.

“Shhhh! Shut up! I'm gonna talk to the little guy.”

“Uhhhh...”

Stiles waved at the baby, grinning like an absolute idiot. “Hello! Hi! Hi there!”

His date proceeded to look even more confused than he was already. Not like Stiles cared. There was a baby behind his date. And Stiles would not be distracted from a baby!

The baby stared back at Stiles, brows furrowed deeply. It was too damn cute! Ugh! Stiles wanted one! He started making faces, ignoring what was likely words of annoyance from his date. He blew up his cheeks, crossed his eyes, and stuck out his tongue.

To his delight, the little tyke squealed happily. Loudly.

Score one for the Stiles!

He started to play peek-a-boo, a classic hit for babies. And, as expected, the little guy loved it. Laughed hysterically! Stiles could feel his chest swell with joy. With pride. This had to be the best thing in creation! Almost better than curly fires! (Which was saying something, because nothing was better than a good batch of curly fries.)

Eventually, the little shrieks of pure, awesome joy pulled the supposed father's attention away from the menu and towards what was making his boy so noisy. Which was when Stiles became slightly distracted. Wasn't hard. Baby daddy was just...just so...unfairly pretty. He could see where the squealing tyke got all his good looks from. Every. Last. Bit. Of. Them.

“I think your date left...” the guy said in a surprisingly soft voice.

Stiles allowed his attention to be pulled away, finding that, in fact, his date had left him. He shrugged, sputtering with no cares to give. Dude's loss. Babies were a godsend!

“He was only in it for the bedroom game, anyway.” he snorted.

The pretty man's face fell, like he felt it was all his fault somehow that Stiles had lost his date.

“No no no no!” He hurried over to the chair his date once occupied, sitting in it backwards and motioning towards the still giggling baby. “It's totally cool, man. The kid is way better of a conversationalist!”

The guy snorted, a smile forming. (Revealing the most adorable bunny teeth, holy hell.) “Thanks, I guess. Sirius is pretty smart for his age.” He turned to the baby, that smile growing as he ran his fingers through the thick mop of black on the child's head. “Aren't you?”

The little guy, Sirius, beamed at him. All gums. All cute.

Stiles held back all the fanboying he wanted to do. Held it in very tight. Because he didn't need to lose his cool now. Later in his dorm would be a-okay! Now? Nope!

“Sirius, huh? Like...Sirius Black? Or like the star?”

Pretty guy's ears went bright red and he flinched lightly. “Um...both?”

“That's awesome, man. He's gonna be the coolest kid in school.” Stiles leaned in a little closer, careful to keep the legs of the chair not too far off the ground. “Isn't that right, little dude?”

Sirius garbled, still all gums smiling. Goddamn...so friggin' cute!

“Derek.”

“H-h-huh?”

“My name?”

“Oh! Oh, dude! Okay! Cool! Uh, I'm Stiles.”

“What kind of name is Stiles?”

“A much safer one than my real name. Trust me. I think only my mom and babcia could say it without tripping.”

“Ah. Polish, I presume?”

Stiles flailed, nearly falling forward. Crisis was adverted, thanks to Mr. Derek. But little Sirius thought it was funny as hell. So...score two for the Stiles.

“You, uh...you know Polish?”

“I know a lot of languages.”

“Oh wow. Neat. I know, like, the bare minimum of Spanish and Polish. Yeah...I've never been real good at learning languages. Though I'm taking sign language at school right now. Doing pretty good in that.”

“School?”

“Don't freak. I'm over twenty-one.”

Derek hummed, looking thoughtful. “What are you going to school for?”

“Photography. With a minor in criminal psychology.”

“Sounds like a tough load.”

“Eh. I like it. I'm being challenged, and I'm also challenging my professors.” Stiles held a finger out for Sirius, scrunching his face up as he grinned. “They're not as good at conversations as you are, little dude.”

Sirius screeched giddily, taking Stiles' finger and attempted to place it in his mouth. Stiles laughed, tempted to lean forward to let the baby nom on his finger. But he knew what would happen if he tried, so he just watched as Sirius fruitlessly tried to pull him towards the mouth.

“He's usually shy...” Derek confessed quietly.

“Wha? Really? He seems like a totally bubbly kid.”

“No. He's...pretty shy. Usually cries when people talk to him.”

“Huh. Guess that means I'm special. But not as special as you, Sirius! Man...someone needs to get you a wand.”

At that, Derek chuckled, ducking his head in order to hide his smile. Score three for the Stiles? Score three for the Stiles!

“So...he yours?”

Derek nodded, a fond gaze directed to Sirius followed. “Yeah. All mine.”

“Where's his mom?”

“In prison. Where she belongs.”

“Ouch. Well, if that's where she belongs, then good. Sirius here doesn't need that kind of bad influence.”

Derek gave Stiles this look. A look that questioned why Stiles didn't ask about his son's mother. Or at least any further. And Stiles wanted to. He really did. But he felt like this was one of those times he needed to put a cap on his overwhelming curiosity. Especially with something that sounded this serious.

“So, how old is the future badass wizard?” he asked, changing the topic quickly.

Tension bled out of Derek, and he smiled as bright as the sun. “He's about five months.”

“Wow! Five months!” Stiles brought his attention back to Sirius, who was staring at him like he was waiting to have the attention returned. “You're such a big boy! Pretty soon, you'll be driving and picking up chicks! Or dudes!”

Sirius giggled, leaning forward in the highchair and slamming his hands down repeatedly.

“Or maybe just collect dogs and cats. Or birds and lizards. Or hamsters and fish. Or rats and guinea pigs. Sometimes pets are way better.”

Sirius giggled more, a little drool slipping out of his gummy smile. Stiles laughed at that, taking a napkin from his table and wiping up the dribble.

“You're really good with kids.” noted Derek.

“Yeah, well, I love them. They're cute. I mean, they can be nightmares, but I still love them.”

“Most people your age don't think like that.”

“Most people my age aren't as intelligent and ambitious as I am. I really fit my Slytherin traits. Minus the shrewd part. I don't even know how to be shrewd. Or maybe I am and don't realize it.”

“Slytherin, huh?” Derek leaned back in his seat, smirking. “Hufflepuff.”

“Dude! No way! You heard that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs are supposed to be the best of friends?!”

“I've heard.”

“Slytherpuffs for the win! Or, as my mom likes to call them, Honey Snakes.”

At this, Derek let out a loud, sunshine laugh. Made Stiles' heart swoop right into his gut. Especially when Sirius joined in, sounding hysterical and gripping at the highchair.

Stiles, for lack of a better term, might be fucked.

~+~

Apparently, Stiles was still a sucker for hot advanced photography class peer. Maybe it was because Sirius' inhumanly pretty father was far out of his league. Like, beyond out of it. So out of it that even if Stiles waltzed right up to him with every quote of love he could muster, and every promise of happiness, and confessing his undying affection for little Sirius...he would still be way bellow the bar of what was in Derek's league.

Which is why Stiles was stupid enough to accept a do-over date with his classmate.

Which he regretted almost five seconds in.

His date thought that rock climbing at the state park was a great idea for a make-up date. A superb idea, actually. Because he would not shut up about it the entire ten minutes it took to drive there. And once they were scaling the wall, Stiles huffing and puffing and swearing profusely under his breath, his date had the gall to invite him for Netflix and Chill after a few rounds on the wall.

Mr. Nice I'll Give You A Second Chance Guy went right over the edge of the wall, and became a splat of goop on the ground.

“Are you serious right now?” Stiles spat, gripping tightly at the colorful and fake rocks.

“What?” his date asked dumbly.

“Netflix and Chill? Really?”

“Well yeah. Do you not like the idea?”

“I would...if it was actually watching Netflix and chilling out on the couch with snacks! Not you, again, trying to get into my fucking pants!”

“Hey!” called the person in charge of the wall from bellow. “There are kids here!”

Stiles glanced down, so not in the mood for any of this shit. “Bite my ass!”

The coordinator, or whatever he was called, gawked at him in horror, while those around him either scowled or snickered. Stiles' date scoffed above him.

“What the hell's wrong with you, dude?”

Stiles opened his mouth to answer, to hiss and curse at this bastard for making him think that he was actually going out with Stiles for more than just sex. Scream it to the heavens so everybody knew what this dick was all about.

But a blessing came.

And that blessing was Derek, walking a bike next to the wall, wearing bike shorts and a tight fitting tank. He was a marvelous site to see from where Stiles was. But nothing could compare to seeing little Sirius. Who was sitting in a neon blue bike carseat, wearing baby sunglasses in the shape of a wolf and a snapsuit that covered up his sensitive arms and legs. And...

“OH MY GOD! HE HAS A TINY BIKE HELMET!”

Of course that caught the attention of everyone nearby. And Sirius noticed him before Derek did. That loud squawk of joy proved it. Derek looked up at the wall, immediately breaking out into a knee destroying grin. He waved at Stiles, while his son smacked his knees repeatedly in excitement. Stiles, the best he could, waved back enthusiastically. Almost fell off the damn wall.

He was certain his date was saying something. Probably along the lines of how Stiles was being distracted by a baby again. But, alas, Stiles was distracted by little Sirius. Again. So, in order to make sure he didn't cause bodily harm to himself, he reclined down the wall. Nearly tripped over himself as he tried to get the equipment off, ecstatic to see Sirius and Derek again.

Especially since he had been thinking about them for days.

Once free, he raced over to them, instantly gripping the sides of the carseat and making noises at Sirius. The tyke screeched happily, keeping his shaking fists close to him. Stiles stuck his tongue out, blowing raspberries. Sirius did the same back.

“Fancy seeing you here.” teased Derek fondly.

Stiles snorted, smirking at the single father. “I'm starting to wonder if you have Stiles Is Having A Bad Date I Must Intervene With My Child senses.”

Derek quirked his brows up, saying a lot more than his words did. “Bad date?”

“Bad date.”

“Same guy?”

“Same guy.”

“Mmmm. Trying to make it up to him? Or is he trying to make it up to you?”

“Well, he was supposed to make it up to me. But then he offered Netflix and Chill. So...needless to say...bad date.”

“What's wrong with watching Netflix and relaxing on the couch or bed with snacks?”

Oh, pure innocence. This man just went up yet another level out of Stiles' league. “Unfortunately, the meaning doesn't translate to that anymore. It means Netflix and Sex, basically.”

Derek wrinkled his nose, as if someone had shoved something rotten in his face. “That doesn't make sense.”

“I know! Really sucks 'cause, dammit, I wanna actually Netflix and actually Chill!”

“Baaaaaaah!” Sirius interjected, now grabbing at one of Stiles' fingers and trying to insert it into his mouth.

“That's right, future wizard! It sucks!”

Sirius grunted, fighting hard to get that finger into his mouth. His father laughed lightly, shoving a binky into his mouth instead. Sirius didn't look the least bit amused, but he took it for what it was worth and just kept Stiles' finger captive. Not like Stiles minded. It kept him away from his very bad date.

“Well, if you want to leave, I was thinking about returning the rental and going out for lunch...” said Derek shyly, ears tinted pink.

Next to Sirius and all other babies in the universe, Stiles decided right there and then that Derek's ears going pink was the cutest thing ever created. So was the shyness. There was no reason for it, since the last time they saw each other they talked for hours on end while making faces and/or noises at the five month old. But it was endearing as hell. So, so endearing.

Stiles slumped dramatically, sighing with relief. “Oh my god, yes! Please take me away from here.”

The single father beamed, ducking his head slightly. “Your wish is my command.”

Oh yeah. Stiles was beyond screwed.

~+~

Life was unfair to him.

Just...so unfair.

Not only had Stiles not bumped into Sirius and Derek since the rock wall date (thank you midterms), but he was swindled into a third date with his classmate. How he was swindled? Oh, it was fairly easy. His so called friends wanted to do a group date, which Stiles agreed to. Group dates could be fun! But what he didn't know, until he arrived to the club with the other half of the group already waiting for them, was that advanced photography classmate was going to be there. And that his friends basically shoved Stiles at him.

He was getting new friends after this.

Fuck them. Fuck them hard. With a cactus.

The minute they entered the club, which was a poor place for a group date, by the way, Stiles stormed away from the group. Right to the bar. If he was going to be stuck here with these dillweeds, he was going to drink like it was going out of style. No dancing. No socializing. Just drinking till he felt wasted, then he was calling a cab to take his drunk ass home. He didn't trust what these assholes would do if he allowed them to 'take care of him' while drunk. Probably toss him over to advanced photography peer and allow him to do whatever he wanted to Stiles.

The very thought made Stiles sick to his stomach.

He made himself very cozy at the bar almost instantly, telling the bartender what was up. She gave him a look of pity, volunteering to call him a cab when she felt he had had enough and would escort him herself to the cab when it came. Even told the other bartenders that Stiles was going to be the only customer she would serve until he went home. That...had to be the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. He breathed out his thanks, to which earned him an adorable smile in return.

She was plain adorable, really. With her little Spirited Away dress and hair tied up into several braids.

(He wasn't going to flirt with her, though. She had a ring. He respected that kind of shit.)

As the night lagged on, he was fortunate that his 'date' barely bothered him. Just came over from time to time, asking if he was ready to dance yet. Each time, Stiles said no. And the bartender, who he learned was named Kira, would glare thunderbolts of death towards the dude. Advanced photography classmate would always huff and pout and stomp off, obviously not used to being told no at a club. But he should be used to Stiles blowing him off. This would be the third time now.

Sadly, Sirius or his dad weren't there to save him.

But Kira was! And Kira was super nice. And a great listener. Maybe a bit of an enabler whenever he would pour out poetry about Sirius and Derek. Especially when he lamented about the fact that he was not remotely close to Derek's league.

“I bet you are. I mean, he lets you near his kid. No guy, or girl, who has a kid would allow someone not in their league to be near their kid. Especially a five month old.”

At this point, Stiles was definitely a little spent. He was swaying slightly on the stool and smiling like a dope. “Really? You think tho?”

“Of course! That is such a young age for a child to be around a stranger. He must really trust you to have you around his son. Especially if the mother is behind bars.”

Huh...Stiles never really thought of that before. Maybe it was because he had only interacted with Sirius and Derek a few times, or his borderline crippling self-doubt, that made him feel that he was nowhere near Derek's league. Maybe he was in Derek's league. And that would mean he would be able to hang around Sirius and Derek all the time! Or, well, most of the time, but still a lot of the time!

Kira was definitely a horrid enabler.

“Okay, you know what?”

The new voice made Stiles groan, his rising happy mood flattening. He turned around to face his so-called date, sourness consuming his face. His date looked furious. Scary furious. For a split second, Stiles felt like he may be in danger. Even with Kira to back him up, who had told him that she used to be a Mixed Martial Arts competitor, he was spooked. He quickly tensed himself up, ready to fight back if he had to.

“What?” he spat back, defiance in his stare.

His 'date' grabbed him by the wrist, yanking him off the stool. Stiles near about screamed, startled by the strength. His heart sped up and all thought process went out the window. He could feel the alcohol lowering his abilities to stand straight and to think properly on how to respond.

He suddenly became incredibly terrified for his life.

“You are going to dance with me. And you're going to dance with me right now.”

The force behind the voice only made Stiles that much more scared. He pulled back, his panic fueling him now. Which was still spotty because of the alcohol.

“N-no!” he tried to say forcefully, but it more or less came out like a terrified child.

His 'date' yanked him again, trying to drag him to the dancing floor. Stiles screamed, attempting poorly to pull away. He could see Kira rushing up to him, ready to help with this assassin glare plastered in her dark eyes. He could also see a lot of other people starting to notice the commotion. So he screamed louder and fought harder, hoping that it would deter this creep and maybe Kira could avoid kicking anyone's ass.

Then, something happened that Stiles did not expect.

Just as Kira approached, fists poised to go, with this jerk raised his own fist to her...someone grabbed at his wrist, holding it in place.

And that person was Derek.

“H-hey! I know you!” Stiles' drunk mind supplied.

Derek gave him a terse smile before twisting advanced photography peer's arm behind his back. The guy cried out, clearly surprised and not happy.

“Hey! Get off me!”

“Let go of Stiles. Now.”

Derek's voice made Stiles' blood run cold. But it was also a bit of a turn on.

(Okay, he was drunk enough.)

Stiles' 'date' spat on Derek's face, which earned gasps from the small crowd that had accumulated around them. Somewhere from that crowd, a woman shouted, “Kick his ass, Der!” And, well, Derek obliged.

He took the creep's other wrist, twisting it away from Stiles and forced behind the back. Then, Derek kneed him in the gut. Advanced photography peer doubled over, swearing with venom. Again, Derek kneed him...right before he handed off the guy to Kira. And Kira went to town before tossing him over to the bouncers. Stiles' 'friends' raced off after the bouncers and his 'date', arguing that Kira and Derek were in the wrong.

Once it was all done, Stiles gawked at Derek like he was some sort of supernatural being. Which, to be honest, the dude had to be! He kept showing up whenever Stiles was having a bad time with his classmate! Maybe he had a sixth sense. A Stiles focused sixth sense.

“You okay?” Derek asked him, swimming in worry.

Stiles nodded, a little disoriented. “Where's your little guy?”

“Stiles...I can't take Sirius to a club.”

“I know..but where is he? I miss 'im.”

At this, Derek ducked his head to hide his smile. But Stiles saw it. There was no way that could be hidden from the Stiles!

“I'll call him a cab, Der.” offered Kira, patting the single father's shoulder.

“Waaaait...you know Derek?”

“I would hope so. I'm his sister-in-law.”

So that's why she was being an enabler! Sneaky sneaky lady. Like a fox.

“It's okay, Kira. I'll take him home. I'm the designated driver for Erica's bacherlorette party, anyway.”

“Is there enough room?”

“I drive a minivan.”

Kira nodded, the words 'good point' lingering in the air. “Well, I'll leave him to you, then.”

“Thanks, Kira.”

“Yeah! Thanks Kira! You're badass!” Stiles echoed, grinning like a dope again.

She bowed, smiling giddily as she pretty much skipped to the bar.

And that's all Stiles remembered. Besides the throwing up near Derek's shoes and passing out.

Next thing he knew, he was being woken up by baby babbles and a tiny hand touching his face. He groaned, trying to get himself put together before opening his eyes. Which was not happening. Not with a splitting headache and stomach flips.

“Sirius...you have to leave Stiles alone, champ.”

Wait...was that Derek's voice? Stiles opened his eyes, his sloppy mess of a self be damned, to see if he was having hallucinations of some kind. Nope. Not any hallucinations. That was Derek, looking so warm in his sweats and burgundy thumb hole sweater, crouching down to scoop up his son away from Stiles. Sirius squawked in protest, making grabby hands at Stiles. The farther he got away from Stiles, the louder Sirius got. Right until the point he started to wail.

“Shhh...Sirius...Stiles is sickie. We have to let him sleep.”

Sirius did not like the explanation, his wailing turning into infuriated cry-screams. Which hurt both Stiles' head and heart. He sat up, feeling dizzy and groggy. Derek noticed immediately that Stiles was awake, and looked ready to apologize for his son. But Stiles didn't let him. Just held out his arms – telling the father that Sirius was more than okay to be near him. Sirius got louder, almost flying out of Derek's hold in order to get to Stiles. Luckily, Derek was a bit more coordinated than that and passed off his son without a tumble.

The very second the little guy was in Stiles' arms, he smothered his face into his shoulder and calmed down. He sniffled here and there, accompanied by bitty hiccups. It was the cutest! It also made Stiles fall in love just a little bit more with this kid.

“He really likes you...” breathed Derek, face soft and vulnerable.

Stiles smiled, rocking the little guy back and forth carefully. “Yeah, well...I really like him. So...”

Derek nodded, looking that much more vulnerable.

Shockingly, Sirius fell asleep on Stiles, which meant that Stiles was not going anywhere. Might as well make some small talk.

“Um...so...this is your place.”

Derek flinched, guilt crossing into the vulnerable. “I...you...you said you didn't want to go back to your place. You were...worried about that guy attacking you in the middle of the night.”

“Mmm...makes sense. I mean...he did scare the hell out of me. I seriously thought he was going to hurt me. At least...I think so. A lot of last night is a blur. Guess that's what happens when you wallow your anger in booze.”

“That'll do it.”

A hesitant, awkward silence fell over them. Only Sirius' breathing filling the room. Then, Derek sat down beside them, staring fondly at his boy.

“He never does that with anyone except me. He won't even do that with his aunts, or his uncle, or my parents.”

“Really? Huh. Guess I'm special.”

“Guess so.”

The silence fell over them again, this time not so awkward. Still hesitant! But not awkward. Then, without any prompting, Derek started leaning in. Stiles leaned in as well. And, before they knew it, they were kissing. Not anything heated or passionate. Just...soft, gentle, sweet, quiet exploring. It was the best kiss Stiles had ever had. So much emotion...so much...trust. He felt like this was some type of honor and he had to respect it whole heartily.

And he would.

He definitely would.

As Derek pulled away, Stiles unconsciously chased. That earned him a kiss on the forehead and a hand running down his arm carefully. It was all so mind blowing. He was half certain that he was in some sort of dream. But Sirius shifting slightly in his hold told him that it wasn't. That it was all very real, and very amazing.

(Amazing was not a strong enough of a word, but that was the best he could think of.)

“Wow...” he whispered, staring deep into Derek's gaze.

Derek grinned like the sun, staring just as deeply into Stiles' eyes. “Yeah. Wow.”

“I, uh, you, you free Friday?”

“Well...I think I can work something out. I'll have to see if someone can watch Sirius for the night.”

“What? No! Bring him! I love star wizard!”

Derek gaped at him, stunned as all hell. “Are-are you sure?”

“Uh, yes? I know that dating you means dating your kid, in a way. And I would love to get to know you two better. Especially Sirius 'cause, no offense, I have fallen in love with your kid. Not in a creeper way! Just...y'know...”

“Stiles...I know what you mean. And thank you. For caring about my son.”

“Of course. I'm not a total douche.” He swallowed, laying back against the cushions. “Now...if you excuse me...I gotta try not to puke all over your kid...”

Derek rolled his eyes, patting his shoulder as he stood. “I'll get you some Coke and crackers.”

“Oh my god, you're a saint.”

“I do my best. And Stiles? Don't puke on my son.”

“I'll try.”

~+~

Their first official date was at the very restaurant they met at. And a lot of it was spent making Sirius giggle and squeal. They did learn some things about each other, but a lot of their attention was directed at Sirius.

The next time they went to that restaurant, it was for Sirius' second birthday. During that little party, Derek and Stiles' families teased them about being together for so long that Sirius was calling Stiles papa. Which wasn't a lie. No matter how many times they tried to correct Sirius, Sirius refused to call Stiles anything other than papa. So, with Sirius' help, Derek sought to fix it with a proposal.

It wasn't until Sirius' third birthday that they went to the restaurant again.

Their family and friends nearly took up the whole place in the celebration, filling the air with joyful noise. As they ate, Stiles announced that he had a very important question for the birthday boy and Derek. It became uncharacteristically quiet, everyone confused.

He didn't leave them in suspense long. That would be too cruel.

He got down on his knees, making it so Sirius was looking down on him. Then, he asked if it was okay if he adopted Sirius – become his official papa instead of step-papa.

“But you are my papa.” Sirius replied simply, like it was such a silly thing to think that Stiles was anything but.

The innocent response caused everyone to sob. Especially Derek, who was so overwhelmed with emotions that he could only nod his approval.

When they came again, Sirius bragged to anyone that would listen that his papa had adopted him and that his name was Sirius Stilinski-Hale.

Also that he was daddy's star and papa's wizard. Because, honestly, he was.

He really was.

#sterekbingo #sterekbingo2017 #sbkids #sterek #stiles x derek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #singledad!derek #college student!stiles #fluff #first meeting #meet-cute #stiles has some pretty bad dates #derek saves him #kira yukimura #she's at the end #brief violence #brief drinking

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years

Text

SSSS.Gridman 3 - 4 | Double Decker 5 - 6 | Golden Kamuy 15 - 16 | Zombieland Saga 4 - 5 | Merc Storia 3 - 4

Gridman 3

Samurai Calibur is literally what pulled me back into the show – after all, he’s an indicator that despite this show’s serious demeanour, it is campy at heart. So it’s great to see him have a big role, even if he has to look stupid to do so.

Uh…by the way, kaiju (Anti?). What’s so cool about Wolverine blades? I mean, Wolverine himself has healing factor to back that up, but you’re just a kaiju…

That star explosion! There’s the Trigger we know and love!

“A kaiju that eats breakfast with me.”

I always love how anime deal with isolation through framing and other visual techniques. In this case, it’s Utsumi and Rikka in two mirrors of different shapes.

“…over, right?” I thought, as Utsumi said, “…disbanded.” – Close enough.

Literally everyone in this show has blue eyes. It’s striking, but it’s a bit much…? I personally like a mix of eye colours for characters, especially those eyes which seem to have flecks of different colours in them. Not that I’ve ever had an excuse to give any character I’ve created eyes like that (since it’s easier to describe single-coloured eyes), but it would be nice to have an opportunity to. Update: Apparently it’s a homage to something. A Transformers thing, actually.

This ED…hmm, it kinda looks like the Sarazanmai ads I’ve seen around lately. Just without the stylised background people and with Akane and Rikka.

Double Decker 5

“The Derick Special!” – Welp, aside from forgetting the E in “potatoes”, they got the spelling right, LOL.

I wonder if Kirill’s sister looks anything like him?

…Hmm. I noticed the license plate on that blue car has BNY. Maybe it stands for “bunny” or “Barnaby”?

*Kirill headbutts Doug* - Well…uh, that’s one way to use your head…

“My first partner died.” – Wait, but if that’s (Doug’s first partner) not Derick…then who is it??? The one before Derick? Update: Yep, I was right.

I just realised the motorbike (? car?) Max rides has her name on the license plate. At least in the ED it does.

It seems like the next episode is a breather ep…hmm.

Golden Kamuy 15

Kibushi is number 8 on this page.

“Bat man”…? Like the superhero?

I can’t believe I actually don’t mind the Blingee fire at this moment in the season…urgh. Why did I just say that? I might regret it later…

Oh my gosh…woodcock birds are adorable!

Inkarmat likes Cikapasi’s cover story? Even the bit about…boob-grabbing…?

I like the technique where it appears Nagakura and Toshizou have deaged. It really gives the scene emotional impact and emphasises the fact this episode is called “Let’s Talk About the Past”.

Zombieland Saga 4

I always imagine Lily’s voice to be extremely high pitched. So high pitched, it’s almost silly…but maybe that’s just what happens when I turn off the volume and try to imagine their voices that way.

Chatsumi means “tea picking”. As in picking tea leaves.

Bikubiku just means Junko is trembling from fear. She probably has a fear of heights…

Hey wait, I thought slapping Saganship Z on people who aren’t zombies is called “administering medicine”…

The CGI…I don’t think it’s entirely hideous, but it’s still vaguely obvious.

Marutchi/Tamatchi -> Yes, it’s another Tamagotchi joke from Saki.

Merc Storia 3

Oh my goodness…this (the queen) is the fairy I got hyped for way back when this show first had its ED showcased! She’s basically the anime version of a Shirley Barber fairy! She’s gorgeous!

Princess, didn’t the tale of Excalibur teach you not to pull swords from stones?

There are a lot of princesses in this, to the point where it makes me feel like a kid again. Then again, all good anime makes me giggly like a kid. Not to mention this actually is aimed at kids…

Who’s a healer, Merc? Jamo? (Yeah, yeah, I’m kidding, but seriously, get Merc to do a better indication of who she’s talking about.)

Oh, how did I not think of this? Yuu’s name is Yuu because he’s you, geddit? The player character?...Okay, stop booing…

Seriously, all the fairies, regardless of their gender, are gorgeous…! Except the bartender and the butler. The bartender looks like Tank from Brave Beats and the butler’s just an old guy. The background characters are only decent looking, too, but I’m talking about (most of) the main characters here. The princess is kinda cute, but not enough to awaken a moe instinct in me, y’know?

I didn’t notice this until now, but Paristos has pointy ears…hmm.

Wait, that was a dude fairy??? The black one, i.e. “one that knows the land”??? Update: Sorry. I listened to his voice and then realised…that is a dude. Sorry. He even kind of sounds like Ume…Update 2: A-hah! That’s why The One That Knows the Land (that is literally what he’s credited as) sounded familiar. It was Junichi Suwabe! Update 3: His name is in the next ep, it’s Zephrodai.

SSSS.Gridman 4

I noticed Akane has a Surume card. It’s probably a pun on Suika (Watermelon) cards. Apparently the pun is that tapping the card on and off is like water swishing (sui sui), hence the name. Update: It would be also nice to say they were a pun on Hong Kong’s Octopus cards, but the visuals on the cards are all wrong…

See? They’re (Namiko and Hass) using their phones like normal kids. So why didn’t Rikka remember to use her phone last ep?

Rumour has it Borr is a dude, which makes the fact he’s questioning why girls like older guys make a lot more sense. Then again, you could just headcanon him as a lesbian instead. I’m not going to stop you from thinking that way if you do.

Honest to stars above, this feels like Kiznaiver Round 2. I didn’t mind Kiznaiver but though it could be better. The drama felt a little too…melodramatic, y’know?

See? This episode just proves Calibur is best boi…until further notice, when they introduce that other Neon Genesis bishonen for real.

So if Borr -> Buster Borr, Max -> Tracto Max and Samurai Calibur -> Calibur, then Sky Vitter…either Sky or Vit. I already know the answer is “Vit” because I saw it on the wiki, but it makes a bit more sense now. Anyways, I was wondering…what happened to the 3 dudes from Arcadia? Max is the strongest, eh? So many questions, not enough time, y’know???

Double Decker! 6

“Good Noodles”, LOL.

The line that appears when the subs say “Let’s take this to our car” actually says something along the lines of, “For the moment, let’s take this to our car, shall we?”

Interestingly, the word “guinea pig” (as in, the “we’re being tested on” sort) translates directly – you can read the word morumotto (guinea pig) in the text.

Maybe I’m not familiar with terms aside from keiji/keibu etc. for policemen, but I’ve never seen a policeman being referred to as “omeguri-san”…

If we’re talking about noticing things…a post for this episode already spoilt for me that “Kirill now has a brother”, although I don’t know whether that comment was made in jest/deception or not. Also, that “sister” sure didn’t have any…er, secondary reproductive characteristics on the torso, to put it lightly.

Reminder, dear cowatchers: Doug is…kind of…an asshole.

*Milla’s disappearance involves getting on one of those double decker buses you see around Lisvaletta* - Welp, that puts another meaning to the name “Double Decker”, eh?

Apple Bieber (LOL) is so tsundere when people actually call him “Doctor”, haha.

Holy sisters, Batman! Milla even sounds like a man. I may be terrible at identifying voice actors from their voices alone, but heck if I can’t tell this “Milla” is a man! (The voice of “Milla” sounds familiar…who is it, though? I’ll skip forward and check. Update: Okay, it’s a name I don’t recognise, but it is a dude! The VA’s name is Yuki Fujiwara. But now that that’s established…I like Valery (sic…?) already. He’s definitely my type~.)

Soooooooooo…yeah. Kirill really does have a brother. Sorry for the spoilers.

Golden Kamuy 16

…Wait, so he’s (Shiraishi) actually getting captured this time?

I find it interesting there is a Japanese equivalent to “Kamuy” which means “residence of the gods”, to translate it somewhat loosely.

Shiraishi had such stupid faces in everyone’s heads…LOL.

I find Tsurumi wearing a proper outfit coloured like the 7th division (albeit more Chinese-looking) kinda strange. Tsurumi suits red more, methinks.

Opium, eh? I assume this talk about poppies and England has something to do with the Opium Wars.

Arisaka’s probably as bad as Brook from One Piece…at least, when it comes to skull jokes in the OP manga. Or like a group of dads having a meeting.

Nikaidou’s so petty…LOL. But it is a good idea to weaponise a fake leg – I mean, Toshizou could have the same advantage if he put a sword in his cane…but I think Toshizou thinks too highly of his Izuminokami Kanesada to do such a thing.

I laughed pretty hard when I learnt Ogata is meant to be part of the 27th. Probably because it wasn’t much of a coincidence in the first place.

Zombieland Saga 5

Wowee, what just happened to Tatsumi’s leg??? “The second you let your guard down, it can all fall apart!” – I think he was talking more about his leg rather than competitive baseball…Update: I swore the ball went through his leg. If you didn’t interpret it the same way, then…sorry.

So I heard you like KFC. Well, we’ll just grab Saga’s equivalent to KFC so you can have chicken in your anime while you eat chicken…or something like that…?

Shouldn’t that be “principles of Drive-In Tori”?

The fish eyecatch seems to involve a Karatsu-kun-chi…according to the banner in the back.

Google Translate tells me “Bonjour, Saga jeune” means something to the effect of “Hello, Saga youngster.”

They really like their live-action segments on this show, huh?

Seriously, which of these girls does Ookoba-san remember??? Is he the driver from episode 1’s Truck-kun? Update: It’s Junko, so that makes sense. If it were Policeman A recognising Junko, Ai or Sakura…we’d be in trouble.

I forgot why they were panicking, but then I remembered…they didn’t have their makeup on. Ah.

Eh? You’re kidding…the Gatalympics is legit!

Yugiri literally poledanced on that rope! Yipe, that’s stiff competition…

What is Tae eating in these in-between scenes, anyway…?

I believe I cannnnnn…*music cuts immediately* Fall…So much for the “I Believe I Can Fly” parody…

Merc Storia 4

Gah, that necklace looks like a Sims gem…

Okay, if I figured out what the next country is it won’t be so interesting. It’s the “country of the clan of few people”.

You can see Salodeah in the ED…and Fruedling (sp???)…but there are some other characters you don’t see in these fairy episodes. Now I’d like to meet the lady riding the spider and the blonde guy (you see them in the same screenshot). You can also see the dog girl from the animal in the ED (I forgot her name though, LOL). I’d also like to see the angel country…

I just realised the next ep previews are called Merc Yokoku (Next Ep Preview) Storia…hmm.

#simulcast commentary #merc storia #merc storia: the apathetic boy and the girl in a bottle #zombieland saga #Merc Storia: Mukiryoku Shonen to Bin no Naka no Shoujo #Golden Kamuy #SSSS.Gridman #double decker #Double Decker! Doug and Kirill #Chesarka watches Merc Storia #Chesarka watches ZLS #Chesarka watches GK #Chesarka watches SSSS.Gridman #Chesarka watches Double Decker!

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roxysbeachlife · 6 years

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These Are the Strangest Laws in All 50 US States

Laws are usually passed for a reason. Too many car accidents? You probably need some traffic laws. Is a particular animal species dying out? Make it illegal to kill them. But because it’s often easier to pass a law than it is to remove it, some obsolete laws simply stand as evidence that something bizarre and horrible must have happened once upon a time. After all, how else do you explain a rule against catching fish in your mouth? There has got to be an amazing backstory behind that. Here are the weirdest, most hilarious laws in all 50 U.S. states.

lillitve / iStock / Getty Images Plus

The 50 Weirdest Laws

Alabama: Going to church? Take off that ridiculous fake mustache if you do — unless, of course, you don’t intend to cause laughter. In that case, it’s all good.

Alaska: In Fairbanks, Alaska, it’s illegal to serve alcohol to a moose. Which seems reasonable, but why did they have to make a law?

Arizona: Your donkey has to sleep somewhere, but it’s not allowed in the bathtub. This dates back to a tub-sleeping donkey who was washed away in a flood in 1924 (he survived, but they passed the law anyway).

Arkansas: You’ll need a permit to feed your garbage to any pigs you happen to meet out in the world. If they’re your own pigs, go for it.

California: If your frog dies during a frog-jumping competition, you’ll obviously be distraught. The good news is that it’s illegal for any of your rivals to eat your late amphibian.

Colorado: A porch might look inviting, but don’t put a couch out there. This law was put in place to prevent college students from lighting couch bonfires.

Connecticut: There’s not technically a law stating that pickles must be able to bounce in Connecticut, but a high-profile case of pickle fraud in 1948 revealed that the Food and Drug commissioner used the bounce test to test fake pickles.

Delaware: Cat shavers beware: You will not be able to sell your ill-gotten fur in the state of Delaware.

Florida: Most places, a “Beware of Dog” sign is just a fair warning and a crime deterrent. But in Florida, you can hang a “Bad Dog” sign in your yard and be absolved of any responsibility for canine attacks.

Georgia: Sort of like those Floridian dogs, Georgian llamas have carte blanche to wreak as much havoc as they care to. With very few exceptions, anyone who “engages in a llama activity” forfeits any liability on the part of the llama owner for injuries they might sustain as a result.

Hawaii: It might be a little unusual, but we’re going to come right out and say the Hawaiian laws against billboards are a pretty good idea. Nothing kills the tropical vibes like a gaudy advertisement.

Idaho: Again under the banner of laws we aren’t sure they needed to put into writing, Idaho wants you to know in no uncertain terms that cannibalism is against the law, except “under extreme life-threatening conditions as the only apparent means of survival.” Maybe it’s weirder that this is the only state that does outlaw it.

Illinois: Illinois is (mostly) landlocked, but it still has a problem with excessive fish and amphibian ownership. No one may own more than $600 worth of aquatic creatures — that’s about 75 salamanders, if you’re curious.

Indiana: In French Lick Springs, Indiana, a 1939 ordinance decreed that all black cats must wear bells on any Friday the 13th. It isn’t clear if the law is still on the books or not, but this might trump the time an Indiana man tried to legally redefine pi as 3.2.

Iowa: The pride of every Iowa State Fair is the one and only butter cow(and its attendant butter statues). So it’s not surprising that they take butter fraud very seriously. If you’re spreading margarine or oleo, you’d better not claim to have the real deal.

Kansas: Despite the fact that the law explicitly outlaws the throwing of snowballs, Topeka mayor Bill Bunten made international headlines in 2005 when he declared his intention to overthrow the ban in a hail of powdery projectiles.

Kentucky: Some places have a tradition of selling artificially dyed chicks and baby bunnies around Easter, but not Kentucky. At least, not if you’re selling less than six at a time.

Louisiana: When you’re down in the Big Easy, nothing hits the spot like a big bowl of jambalaya. Word to the wise, though: If prepared “in the traditional manner for public consumption,” the dish is not bound to follow certain sanitation codes.

Maine: If you’re playing beano in Maine (not that Beano; it’s a game not unlike bingo), you should feel free to take all of the bathroom breaks you need. The beano conductor will play your hand for you unless you’re playing high-stakes beano.

Maryland: Pottymouths should watch themselves the next time they’re on the Eastern seaboard. In Rockville, Maryland, they’ll face a $100 fine for cursing on a sidewalk or road.

Massachusetts: You know how everywhere “The Star-Spangled Banner” is played, a dance party breaks out? Not in Massachusetts, where it is strictly forbidden to dance to the national anthem.

Michigan: Some states put down strict laws about when and where you can sell alcoholic beverages and other controlled substances, but in Michigan, it’s cars that can’t be sold on Sundays.

Minnesota: It might sound like a lot of fun, but oiled-pig catching contests are absolutely not allowed in Minnesota. The same law outlaws turkey scrambles, when the unfortunate bird is thrown into the air and players rush to catch it.

Mississippi: Okay, this is a very bizarre law (and one made specifically to make a political point). In 2013, governor Phil Bryant signed into law a declaration that no one could ever restrict the size of a cup for sugary drinks.

Missouri: If a bull or ram of a certain age is able to roam free for three days or more, at least three townsfolk report it, and the owner does not claim it, then anyone can feel free to capture and castrate it without facing liability for damages.

Montana: Our favorite laws are the ones that offer a glimpse of what life was like in eras past. Apparently, in Montana’s past, train jackers stopping a locomotive with a herd of grazing animals was a major problem.

Nebraska: To be perfectly frank, this law seems illegal, immoral, and hard to enforce. But if you’re following the letter of the law, then anyone with a sexually transmitted disease is forbidden to get married.

Nevada: Back before we wrapped our minds around how dangerous radiation could be, every shoe store was outfitted with an X-ray-based fitting machine. But you won’t find any in Nevada — they’ve been outlawed since 1960.

New Hampshire: In New Hampshire, the seaweed that washes onshore can be collected and turned into fertilizer for a profit. But if you’re thinking of heading out to the beach in the early hours before the crowds, think again — you can’t collect seaweed at night.

New Jersey: Bulletproof vests are legal in New Jersey unless you’re wearing one while committing a crime. In other words, bank robbery is super illegal, but it’s even more illegal if you have body armor on.

New Mexico: Indecent exposure is illegal to some degree almost everywhere, but in New Mexico, the law specifically mentions every body part that counts as indecent — and if you want to walk around with your butt hanging out, then go right ahead.

New York: Despite facing many legal challenges since being written into law in 1845, New York’s regulations against wearing masks in public is still in place. You get special dispensation for costume parties.

North Carolina: Remember that episode of “The Simpsons” when Bart and Homer stole a bunch of grease from local kitchens? It might have been hilarious in cartoon form, but it was a serious problem in North Carolina until stricter penalties for grease theft were written into the books in 2012.

North Dakota: We couldn’t quite track down this law in the legislature, but it’s one of the most cited “weird laws” online: Allegedly, it’s illegal to lay down in public and fall asleep without taking your shoes off first.

Ohio: Despite what you might have read elsewhere, it is legal to get a fish drunk in Ohio. But don’t worry, these lawyers have plenty of other weird ordinances, like how you need a license to kill a fly within 160 feet of a church.

Oklahoma: Here’s a blast from the past. In Oklahoma, the Cold War is still being waged in a state statute that claims that “there exists an International Communist conspiracy which is committed to the overthrow of the government of the United States.”

Oregon: Apparently, at some point there was an issue with people heading into graveyards and cemeteries with a kind of deadly intent. In Oregon, it’s illegal to go hunting in a cemetery.

Pennsylvania: The world is full of laws that say you can’t buy, sell, or exchange a human being. But in Pennsylvania, they had to put the icing on the cake: You can’t barter with a baby. The “good” news? It’s only a misdemeanor.

Rhode Island: If you bite off the limb of a friend or family member, you could face between one and 20 years in jail — assuming you did so intentionally and with malice.

South Carolina: Pinball might not seem like the most serious offense the vice squad investigates, but you’ve got to be 18 or older to take a spin in the state of South Carolina.

South Dakota: The strangest law we could find in South Dakota was an ordinance allowing farmers to launch fireworks as pest control, but it was recently repealed. The strangest law we couldn’t find any confirmation for at all was the oddly specific forbiddance against threatening a pacifist to change their beliefs by challenging them to arm-wrestling.

Tennessee: You know how you and all your friends share one account for Netflix, HBO Go, and Hulu? Not if you live in Tennessee, you don’t.

Texas: Apparently, in order to run for political office without facing a religious test, a politician has to affirm their belief in a “Supreme Being.”Sounds just a smidge unconstitutional.

Utah: We’re not sure what was happening to bus drivers in Utah in 1999, but they apparently faced the not-insignificant threat of having things hurled at them at bus stops. Now, only security officers and officers of the peace are allowed to chuck stuff at buses.

Vermont: If you think you’re going to pass legislation outlawing the use of clotheslines in Vermont, then you’d better think twice. The solar powered dryers are here to stay.

Virginia: They say that Virginia is for lovers, but the law books don’t back that up. Fornication — that is, having sex outside of marriage — is illegal and punishable as a Class 4 misdemeanor.

Washington: In Skamania County, Washington, you could be in big trouble if you shoot a sasquatch. Not just because of the $1,000 fine levied by human officials, either — presumably, you’ll have to stand trial in sasquatch court as well.

West Virginia: West Virginia lawmakers have some very specific ideas about the right way to go hunting. For example, you’re not allowed to use drones or ferrets whether you’re hunting birds or anything else.

Wisconsin: Here’s a fun trick. Search for the phrase “highly pleasing” on the Wisconsin State Legislature website. You’ll find there are many types of Wisconsin cheeses that must meet that standard to bear the name — and this cheese-loving Wisconsinite agrees.

Wyoming: The next time you find yourself purchasing junk metals, rubber, rags, or paper in Wyoming, lean in to smell the peddler’s breath. You could be unknowingly committing the offense of buying junk from an intoxicated person.

Written by Reuben Westmaas

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josephkitchen0 · 6 years

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Do you Have a Minute?

Maybe a few minutes, actually. I have a story to share, and it's a long one, with lots of pictures, and best of all... for one family, a happy ending. This story begins with hot, dry days, with a wind blowing off of the dessert, through mountain passes, to the Pacific Ocean. This is the kind of wind that plays with fire, making embers and sparks jump and leap, sending up new flames, with billowing smoke, and all of it moves as fast as the wind itself. We were all watching reports of such wind, and fires, blowing and burning in Ventura, then Los Angeles. And then, much closer to home, we saw a dark plume of wind-driven smoke traveling from the east, moving toward the ocean. Fire. When I confirmed that it was near a friend's home, I started texting them. I wanted to be sure they'd seen reports, knew what was going on. Even a fire that is "far away," if it's east of your location when the Santa Ana winds are blowing, then it is too close for comfort. The more I thought about their situation, the more anxious I became, and in my messages I offered, We could house your critters if you have to evacuate. The Lilac Fire started small, but it grew fast, and vicious. And our friends, their pets, their home were in its path. Having been in their situation, I knew the fear, and the logistical load of getting everyone safe, especially scared pets, or big livestock. This offer to help them, felt like an easy choice to make... and while they suffered the angst and worry of what was coming for their home, we spent some days lending a hand, and enjoying some sweet, funny, dear pets. It's real nice to tell this story from today, because in the beginning it was sad, and scary, but spoiler alert... now we know everything turned out well for our friends, their home, and their little farm. Thursday night Bobbie came to the Bird House with Mabel, and Sammy the bunny, and two hens, Oink and Dot. We kept Mabel and Oink in their respective crates, and moved Dot into my old portable chicken cage, and we even had a bunny cage for Sammy. The wind was blowing fiercely. With flashlights in hand, and determined resolve, we made sure all of the animals were safe and secure that first night. It was a relief to greet our guests the next day. Here she is! Mabel, the mini-pig. Sammy lived on our porch, and he stayed about as calm and cool as any bunny could. Oink the chicken... she discovered our spoon tomatoes, and I think that made all the difference. Pretty Dot... we hope she remembers this adventure as a few odd days at camp. Cairo. Now, Cairo was just stunned. There's no other way to describe his bewildered expressions, and skittish antics. He watched Sammy bunny warily, and kept a wide space between himself and the flopsy fur boop. Also in shock... all of our chickens and both goats. Evidently, none of our critters can tell the difference between a little pig and a big bad wolf, and so they huddled in corners, with raised hackles and mournful expressions. (Are hackles only a dog thing? Our goats express both glee, and terror, with a ridge of raised hairs along the tops of their necks.) Meanwhile, Mabel cruised the entire yard, merrily, with all of the confidence and self-possessed equanimity of an Instagram celebrity (mae-mae_minipig). Friend was unfazed, and came around to see the new campers. I was just getting my head around making salads for Mabel, and keeping an eye on the sky and horizon for signs of new fires, when Maria brought me the Advent book, day 8. She's 100% flexible and understanding, and looking around at all we were managing, said brightly, "I had no idea we'd be doing this, now. We can do pie any time." I smiled, gratefully, and asked her to bring a pie crust out of our freezer. We might not ever get to it, but we stood a better chance of baking a pie if the crust were ready. Nothing much else, besides the usual laundry and school studies, were on our calendar, so these guests of ours had our full attention. We wanted them to feel welcome and happy. And we wanted our friends to have at least one part of their lives to give them some peace of mind... and to that end, I enjoyed sending them new pictures, so they could see all was well for Oink, Dot, Sammy, and Mabel. Evacuating is terribly stressful... you leave your home behind, taking as much with you as necessary or even possible, and still you have to go to work, and manage your affairs, while your home, and memories, stand in peril. Bobbie and Jesse had Leo and Bosco, their dogs, with them, and jobs to go to, and their son had his finals to complete. Everything we were doing felt easy, in comparison with what our friends were coping with. Bobbie took a break and came to see her pets, and to finally meet those goats! And would you believe? We baked a pie! The next day our Advent book had another lovely suggestion, and the calming winds put everyone in easier moods. And... word was getting out, about a certain little, pink, celebrity pig in our midst. We were getting calls and texts... Can we meet Mabel?? Mabel is so well socialized and smart. She knows some commands, like turn and reverse and stop. She'll do just about anything for a Cheerio... almost anything. Like any smart animal, she also has a mind of her own. When she discovered this back section of the yard, she never wanted to leave. Can you see our scaredy goats and nervous hens? They're all cowering from the little, pink pig rooting through the leaf pile. It took a lot of Cheerios to coax her out of there! The terror twins, Pepper and Pippi, take the prize for being totally chicken! As long as Mabel was in sight, they would not come down from their roost... not for breakfast, not for oats, not for nuthin'! Frankly, I am glad these two were humbled... they're mean and bossy, and deserve a good scare. Alex's friend, Max, and his mom, came in the morning to meet Mabel. Then Max and Alex went to check on horses, and to lend a hand there with other volunteers, and the many hundreds of evacuated horses and livestock. Alex and Max returned with two more visitors. Paul, Janece and Amira were over. Paul knew just the spot to get Mabel's hair happily raised. Amira and Mabel saw eye-to-eye, too. And just in time for dinner, Bex, Spencer and Simon came to meet Mabel, Oink, Dot, and Sammy. I really wish I had started a guest book for Mabel... a happy keepsake of all the new friends she's made. Maria has had uncanny timing. By day ten, I was ready for this... for lights, especially. Geoff was taking the day off, and with William, Alex, Max, and Maria, outdoor lights were hung all around our home, even Totoro got festive. Bobbie would send me texts, thanking me, and making helpful suggestions. The best one was about adding canned pumpkin to Mabel's meals. There may not be much that is as hilarious as Mabel eating her chow, with a bowl of water, and when I added the pumpkin it got ridiculous! There are videos on Instagram (chickenblogger). I recorded every meal for my own amusement, forever. And this is where we are getting to the happy ending, which is also a little sad, strangely. The only thing we could ask for was for the fire to be put down, for lives and homes to be spared. The losses were real and horrific, and we despaired over every report. But we were feeling connected and delighted with our guests, and it wasn't going to be easy to part with them. We rejoiced for our friends, when we learned the evacuation orders were lifted, that the Lilac Fire was contained, and we took longer, even more dear visits with our furry and feathered and hoofed visitors. Maria confided, "Mabel is fun, but, Mama, I love Sammy. I don't want Sammy to go." Can you guess what she's been asking for? Dear Santa... She's in love. Friend returned, again. Our blue bird of happiness seemed to appreciate we needed a little support. Thank you, Friend. I use the hashtag #littlefarm. Now that we've had an actual pig in our barn, I feel totes legit. Chickenblogger, and farmer. In the last decade we have come to know fire season... late summer into October, then November, now December. Any wildfire is bad, but California with its Santa Ana winds, and history of droughts, with it's canyons, and mixed topography is susceptible to fast moving fires with loads of fuel to keep it going, difficult terrain to manage, and for firefighters to cover. We all learn that when there is a Red Flag Warning any spark could become an inferno, and any wild fire will move, jumping across highways, traveling like a raging river up canyons, over ridges, pushed by wind gusts that can be as fast as 50 miles an hour. It means a small fire, in the far distance, can be forcing evacuations with only minutes to prepare. Red Flag Warnings mean the humidity is low, and the Santa Ana winds are blowing dry air from east to west, and any fire that is east of where you are could easily be dangerously close in no time at all. A Red Flag warning is serious, a Purple Flag warning... well, I'd never heard of such a thing, until last Thursday. It is the highest danger level, it meant single digit humidity and wind blowing at 80-100 miles per hour, with sustained winds of 20-45 miles per hour along the coast, and ninety mph wind gusts. During "fire season," which has practically become year-round, we take safety steps, and during Red Flag Warnings, we take extra precautions, like not mowing, or grilling. There are things we can do, and there is more we will learn to do, but it's not always in our power to control. Individually, we cannot manage every acre of dry brush, accidents, or any irresponsible acts. We can consider the bigger picture... our environment, changes in climate, how we want to care for our planet and resources with long term conservation and management in mind. There were some terrible losses in the Lilac Fire, as well as the Ventura and Los Angeles fires. We happened to get lucky, this time, and we will try to do more, to be better prepared for next time. I want to add some thoughts in reaction to negative comments I read regarding the deaths of horses in Bonsal, California. The deaths of those horses was awful, and will hopefully lead to improvements in how livestock and farms are set up, going forward, but if anyone thinks that people were 'indifferent' or in some way 'slacking'... well, those critics are ignorant, and cruel in their remarks. Ranch hands and jockeys had to remove over 500 horses from a wild fire that began and spread in less than an hour's span... that is an impossible thing to accomplish. With wind driven smoke, soot, embers, and flames coming at them, and very limited resources, the people on hand did all they could. Period. We all have a lot to do to keep tragedies like this from playing over, again, and again. Our planet is changing. I hope anyone that is criticizing or pointing fingers, will stop and consider that we are all capable of helping, of taking less, and giving more. I am deeply touched by the kindnesses offered, the bravery displayed, and the generosity shared by Californians during these tragic events. Do you Have a Minute? was originally posted by All About Chickens

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thecoroutfitters · 7 years

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Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

For a lot of us, companion animals are as much family as the people we don’t really want to see even on the holidays. For some of us, they are working partners, part of our mental well-being, and our therapy all rolled into one. While most of our companion animals are going to be cats and dogs, there are also birds, pigs, goats and even horses that fit the bill of a pet as opposed to solely being livestock. Livestock or pets, we took responsibility for a feeling creature’s life, and we owe it to them to take care of them.

That means adding to the long lists of things we need to do, buy and plan for should our worlds fall apart on either a small-scale or a large-scale.

I’ll mostly focus on the cats and dogs, but a lot will apply to anything, from ferrets to pot-bellied pigs.

Water for Mr. Whiskers

Just like people need food and water, so do our animals. Ferret to bunny, pony to puppy, if the animals dehydrate, we’re in a world of hurt.

Water is going to really be a biggie should the world or nation ever collapse. Try to monitor the water use in winter and in summer, or in high-activity seasons, so we keep at least a week or so on hand for them (ideally more).

With animals, we also have to remember that a lot of them pant. Whether it’s a stress action or cooling action, panting will dry them out and we’ll need to allot extra water for them.

It may be possible to do sub-cutaneous fluids for even very small livestock if it becomes necessary, but ideally, it’s not necessary. In an emergency, we’ll have to monitor our animals just like we do small children and seniors.

Bathing animals may take an even lower priority, but in that case, we may need to come up with a smell and-or pest plan.

Commercially Available Long-Storage Foods

Food might be simple, or it might be more complicated.

There are “normal” commercially available freeze-dried pet foods. There is no way I’d buy them. I’d be totally broke and then my beloved fur-balls would be in a shelter anyway.

There are long-term storage foods available in buckets. The Ready Store sells one, and MayDay makes another. One of the wholesale bulk warehouse stores sells a bucket of food for cats or dogs as well.

I consider them about on par with Ol’ Roy, on top of being expensive. I do have a couple of buckets of cat food (I really think they came from Costco) but I have every intention of using a Pearson Square to make it part of the protein component and it’s mostly there for helping to clean their teeth.

MRE Depot sells doggy biscuit treats and at one point sold those “quart” #2.5 cans of dog and cat food. However, MRE Depot tends to … think very highly of their products, and I have dogs who consider those single-serving cans.

Plus, again, this is not Blue Buffalo or Nutrish level dining here.

Therefore, I tend to avoid the commercial long-storage options. I either repackage, or I create “normal” food storage for my furry friends.

Repacking for Rufus & Rex

I pack Milky Bones and Alpo squares in mylar and oxygen absorbers, and in canning jars with oxygen absorbers. I keep in several bags of food that get rotated, even with the oil-rancidity risks of our hot Southern summers. (Wowser article that I ignore)

I have tried to repackage bagged pet food in Mylar with oxygen absorbers, but it tends to barely extend the life by 2-4 months – which is not overly worth it to me. In cooler climates, with fewer or smaller animals, it might be worth it to be able to open smaller increments.

Stocking Up for Socks & Spot

I could just buy cans of cat and dog food, but we rarely feed it. That means whole stacks of flats end up donated on a regular basis as it comes time to rotate, and the deductible barely dents replacement costs every year.

While I don’t mind giving some extra love to unwanted shelter animals, I need to be able to take care of mine.

Years ago when imported foods started making animals sick, I started making homemade food. There are a million and five recipes available, with the best options very home and animal-specific.

We had incredible results from it. The older dogs perked up, leaned down, tightened up, and played more. Periodic tummy sensitivities and Gassy Gus went away almost overnight. Attention, retention, and stamina went through the roof.

I no longer make all of our pet feed, but I do still make a portion of it and I tend to make extras of certain foods to add to the scraps our animals get.

For us, a casserole or soup worked best. I make up enormous kettles in one go, freeze a portion, and pull out three days’ worth at a time to defrost. It’s then as easy as scooping.

For an emergency, it won’t be quiet that easy, since I won’t have fridge and freezer space for the pets’ foods, but I will still be making them basically human foods.

Storage Foods for Pets

Powdered Eggs make up the backbone of the protein and fats that are stored for the dogs and cats. Commercially, they’re available as whole eggs or scrambled egg mix. They can also be dehydrated at home if inclined.

Oatmeal, barley, brown rice & white rice are my go-to feeds for the dogs, both in daily life and in the stored foods. The oatmeal especially is cheap, fast, and easy. The grains make for a decent calorie base and belly filler for dogs and rodents.

Potatoes are stocked for both the cats and the dogs, home-dehydrated as well as commercial buckets and #10 cans of slices, dices and grated shreds. I even can baked potato skins, although the cats won’t touch those. They’re full of good nutrients for the dogs.

Apples, Carrots & Sweet Potatoes are present for the cats and dogs, with the dogs a little heavier than the cats on the apples and sweet potatoes or sweet African yams. Again, I can dehydrate them at home, or buy them in affordable bulk to repackage or already set in cans and buckets. The veggies give the animals much-needed vitamins, just as they do us.

Peas are no longer part of my animal-diet plan. Some dogs handle them, some don’t. There are enough other options, I tend to just skip them now, but for years I included them.

Berries are fine for cats and dogs most of the time, but they tend to be expensive and human favorites so with the exception of copiously producing cranberry-equivalent bushes, I don’t allot many to the animals. Cats and dogs are less likely to eat the bitter berries than birds or ferrets.

Greens are dehydrated, purchased dehydrated, and grown in tin soup cans, small Dollar Tree cubes and planters, and outside. They’re also foraged wild. While the animals may not be super wild about them, and the greens should represent a smaller proportion of feed than even something like apples or carrots, they are another one that is stacked-legit with nutrients – especially the nutrients we’ll find lacking in lean animals and winter.

Boiled with something meaty or flat-fried or baked-and-chipped eggs, our cats, dogs, rats, and ferrets will dive on greens just as fast as they will a chunk of salmon jerky or broth from meat trimmings.

Milk gets stored as a calcium source and calorie boost. My animals handle whey milk and soy milk without any problems, so I can buy whatever’s cheapest at the time. Previous animals have handled raw milk and goat milk even if pasteurized was off the table.

Most long-storage milk is fat-free, so I have to be aware and get their fats in from something else.

When’s lunch?

Fish is a major part of my dogs’ and cats’ long-term food storage plan. For a few dollars a year, I can spend days in the sun collecting dozens and hundreds of pounds of feed for them. Skins and some of the organs we don’t even want help boost proteins and oils for the animals.

Especially important with cats, pressure canning or drying fish for storage creates something I can open or soak-and-simmer to create an enticing scent. If cats can’t smell food, they won’t eat.

Without a fishing license or with prohibitive keeper restrictions, tuna in oil and then tuna in water (which will last longer) can make somewhat less-expensive food-flavoring options. There are places that sell cod, shrimp, and salmon, but it tends to be freeze-dried and pretty pricey.

Repacking well-dried jerky-like treats to extend the storage life might be another option to consider to induce kitties to eat.

Peanut Butter Powder is also in my storage for the animals, but it’s there mainly to make them homemade doggy “biscotti” biscuits that will give them something to gnaw and help keep their teeth in better shape.

Wheat & corn are in my storage, but not for my animals. A lot of dogs and cats don’t actually process much corn, and some are sensitive to wheat. With potatoes, rice, and oats inexpensive and compact, I can easily avoid having wheat and corn be their base calories.

Transitioning Foods

Pets or people, we’ll want to plan transitions between foods – almost always. While some animals don’t need it, even transitions between types of kibble or canned foods should be done slowly.

You replace 1/10 to 1/4 the feed for 2-5 days, then another 1/10 or 1/4. If an emergency requires it, you can go ahead and skip to 50-50 blends or 70-30 new-old blends.

My preference is to have dry food as a finisher or by itself at least several times weekly, because it really is better on their teeth. When we transition to smokes and raw bones, we use a step process as well.

It’s my personal belief that because my animals do get scraps and leftovers, and do get trimmings and bones stewed for them, their guts stay ready to process more foods. Skipping a meal or a few days of their usual feeds doesn’t bother my animals’ stomachs at all.

Just like people, animals vary widely, so consult a vet and add those transitions slowly.

Goodies for Evac Kits

Red Cross and FEMA sites are happy to list out supplies to consider for our animals. Whether we’re evac’ing alone, with a cat, or with a trailer of six crated dogs, two goats and three horses, there are some goodies we might want to add to make everybody more comfortable, both during the trip and after.

Portable, battery-operated fans (blow into crates)

Misting systems/bottles

Umbrellas, portable pavilions (shade, rain coverage)

Animal entertainment

Spare towels

Tarps

Treats (even hooved livestock like treats, such as applesauce or sweet pellets)

Hoods

Fly screen/fly hoods/mesh, and-or tiki torches or various Off fan types (flies and mosquitoes are bears)

Pool mattresses (elevated bedding)

Nail trimmers & file (to save the air mattresses)

Garbage bags, kitty litter, shovels (waste cleanup)

Medications

Remember that cats, especially, can’t take a lot of human or dog medications. Those need to be sourced and stocked separately. There are, however, a lot of overlaps between species, fish to humans, pigs to dogs.

We have to research any meds our animals are on or can be anticipated to be on, just like with humans. Contraindication can delay recovery and set animals back if we combine the wrong things, or push them at the wrong intervals. Just like human meds, we’ll want to stock up on prescriptions and OTC drugs our animals have used in the past, or that we can anticipated them needing in the future.

Flea and tick preventatives, dewormers, heartworm preventative, mange washes, lice and flea dips, and ear cleaners are just a few of the things we might consider stocking up on.

Prepping for Furry Friends

There’s a lot to think about with our family disaster plans, big and small. Figuring out how we’re going to take care of our critters – pets or livestock or working animals – just adds to the headache. The moisture content in animal feeds and the expense of some types of feeds can make it seem impossible at first, but with some twitches, we can use standard, inexpensive storage foods to keep the animals fat and happy. There are also things like a water plan and sport umbrellas or mesh screens that will not only make us and animals happier, they can help reduce diseases, illness and heat stroke. It takes a little forethought, be we can absolutely prepare to keep our animals in personal crises or nation-altering events.

The post Prepping for Our Furry Friends – Stuff for Spot appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

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