Dance Marathon Episode-Part 9-The Bloody Finale. RIP Shane.

Now I know my readers have lost untold hours of sleep pondering the origin of all this Shane is Dead nonsense. Fret no more, my 4-6 regular readers. Fret no more. After her public dumping for the ages, Rory retreats to Money Laundering Bridge, where the soon to be homocidal maniac follows close behind (Shane's current whereabouts are unclear, but he won't let her get too far). A brief, gloomy conversation between Jess and Rory ensues, where it is established that Jess and Rory Like-Like each other and are comitting to not knowing a moment of peace or sexual intercourse for the next 6-8 months. Yippee. So, we are to believe that the thing that needs "taking care of" is presumably, ending his "relationship" with Shane. But a normal, not-murderer person could have said something like "I have to go talk to Shane." Or he would have not said anything to Rory because Shane was not even his girlfriend anyway, so who gives a crap? If we have just established that Rory and Jess have decided to make a go of this thing, it's a given that Shane is history. She's off like a prom dress. So why did he have to say it like that? What, exactly, has to be "taken care of"? You know what kind of people say things like that? People who are in the mob, before they erase someone. (but instead of "sleeping with the fishes", Shane will be sleeping with the swans.) On top of that, why are you using that absolutely bone-chilling tone of voice? And such a creepy Okuh, too. That's an okuh that will make your blood run cold. Also, that creepy way he's staring at Rory, like he's contemplating evil. You can see it in his eyes that the evil gears are turning in his evil brain. How convenient that after he says this Ms. Campbell is never seen or heard from again. RUN SHANE! RUN! Run as fast as your slutty little legs can carry you!

Shane Campbell B. 198? D. 2002 Shane Campbell was born sometime in the mid 80s to Mr. and Mrs. Campbell, who were those really cool kinda parents who let their daughter have boys in her bedroom and said things like "drinking is okay as long as you do it in the house". Until her untimely death, Ms. Campbell was employed by Stars Hollow Beauty Supply. She prided herself on being gainfully employed and sex-positive and being the creator of new words such as "bloaty". She was educated in the Stars Hollow school system, causing some of her detractors to believe that Ms Campbell did not know how ice was made. She had plans to attend cosmetology school and looked forward to a career in the beauty industry where she would have made more money and met way cooler people and had a lot more sex than other people who went to Yale instead. We will miss her spicy customer service, off the shoulder tops, low rise jeans, and love of tonsil hockey. RIP. I will remember you, will you remember me, don't your let your life pass you by...weep not for the memories... Jess departs the lake to locate his victim and comitt certain felonies and busy himself with cleaning up bodily remains. As she posed no real threat to his relationship with Rory, his motive for Taking Care of Shane remains unclear. He is just a blood thirsty maniac. God forbid a boy finds a hobby, right? He has a long night ahead of him. Rory and Lorelai return to the dance a few moments apart, where Rory's absence has disqualifed them and Kirk wins. Rory cries into Lorelai's arms over the loss of Butthead and the gaining of Jess The Mess. As Kirk circles the gym with his trophy, the Rocky theme song plays, which drowns out Shane's screams of terror from behind the school. With the same superpower that he utilized to abscond with 500 baseballs, Jess manages to drag Shane's lifeless body from the school and back to the lake and feeds her to the swans. The end.

it feels so right to be back on tumblr. familiar. comfortable. easy. homely. snug. fresh never frozen. have it your way. think outside the bun. im lovin it.

i have been laughing about this to myself all day

Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!

I made this low-quality meme and I literally can't stop laughing 😭😭

ff7 but sephiroths widows peak gets taller everytime he shows up

🐕‍🦺for the summary

A drunken game of Twister somehow lands Marinette in Adrien's bed. And there's cuddling. The sort that feels like maybe it's leading to something a little less than platonic. So when an Akuma interrupts the fun, Marinette is NOT about to let Hawk Moth win. Not tonight. This would have been a lot easier if she'd remembered to transform.

"Come on, Adrien." She yanked his hand harder as they raced down the stairs. This would have been so much easier if she could just carry him, but superpowers or not, she didn't exactly trust her coordination right now. "We just need to get to the--fuck!"

Skidding to a stop on the landing between the second floor and the lobby, Marinette stared in horror at the purple smoke that was already creeping through the cracks around the door below. They'd been too slow. It was time for plan B.

Letting go of Adrien's hand (regretfully), she reached for the yo-yo hooked to her--wait. why was it in a pocket? Why did her suit have pockets?

Well, probably for the same reason her transformation had given her a fuzzy onesie and slippers in the place of her usual transformation. Tikki must have been affected by her drunkenness.

None of that mattered so long as she could still do her job and get Adrien to safety. Smoke was quickly filling the landing below, but it hadn't yet reached the hole in the middle of the staircase, which extended to the parking lot floors below. All they had to do was drop down there and they'd be able to find a new exit.

Marinette tossed her yo-yo towards the bannister, frowning as she watched it in midflight. Even her weapon didn't look the way it usually did. It was red, sure. But it lacked its usual spots. And as for ease of handling...it crashed to the floor half a metre away from its destination.

Ugh. Apparently she was going to have to do this the hard way. She bent down to pick up the yo-yo, and was about manually wrap it around the bannister when Adrien grabbed her wrist.

"Marinette, I'm not sure--" Adrien broke off when she whirrled around to face him.

"Adrien, I know you're scared."

"Oh. I'm not actually--"

"But you have nothing to worry about. You're safe with me." She stepped closer, raising a hand to cup his cheek. She had to keep herself from licking her lips at the tiny gasp he let out. There would be time to explore whatever that meant later. "You're always safe with me."

His gaze softened, and he gave a small chuckle. "And normally, I wouldn't doubt that. But..."

Marinette dropped her hand, frowning. Why was there a but? She was freaking Ladybug! And even if she weren't, she'd still find his lack of faith insulting.

He certainly hadn't looked at her that way earlier, when she'd had to crawl underneath him to place her right hand on green.

...

thanks for the ask!! 💜

EGG ATTACK!!!

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🐣🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

I'm gonna have to read so many bedtime stories nooooooooo

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

girls will literally be happy until their brain randomly convinces them that all their friends hate them because someone's text was a little TOO serious sounding which means they find you ugly and stupid and hate you with a burning passion

catholic moment

finally watching the interview with the vampire show as i have been thinking about doing for several months and. boy. that lestat sure can lestat!

not me purposefully getting off my face drunk just to write this house party chapter realistically. downing another can solely for research purposes.

actually, have i talked about my transmasc butch lesbian penny headcanon yet? bc i need ya'll to play in this space with me right now.

the way the stream began with him being the cutest little sleepy ouppy ever and then he showed drake’s penis on youtube like 4 times