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thespianbooks · 3 years

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A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 20//

Masterlist

tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

Posting a little earlier because last week I posted a little later than I meant to 😅

XXX

"Eris is High Lord of the Autumn Court?" Mor asked carefully, her warm eyes widened in subtle horror.

In the weeks that followed the news of the civil unrest taking place in Autumn, all the courts of Prythian had been on a collective edge. As our spymaster indicated in his reports, Eris indeed sent letters to every court—asking for aid in the fight against his father, and almost every one had begrudgingly sent a small contingency of their armies; Kallias being the only one to outright refuse. After bearing witness firsthand to Beron's insolence at the summit, they all were hesitant to trust that Eris would be any better—especially Kallias, whose heavily pregnant mate had been targeted by the older male. They were surprised, however, to see the legion of Illyrians that Cassian sent; realizing later that we were retaliating directly against Beron for not only his assault against me at the summit, but for his attack on Velaris as well. They also knew of the tenuous alliance Rhys and I had with Eris for his help during the war, and one-by-one they offered their support for the male in a fortnight.

Azriel nodded in response to Mor, taking a subtle step closer as she loosed a shaky breath. After meeting with his brothers, Rhys had called for the rest of us to gather in the library in order to disclose the information they received earlier this morning—that Eris had beaten his father and was crowned as the new High Lord of Autumn, while his despicable father rotted in their prison, for now.

"What now?" I asked as Mor remained speechless, her eyes still darting from side to side as she processed the news.

The last decade of peace hadn't lessened the hatred she bore towards the Autumn male, and I understood how it must've felt to learn that the male who caused her unbearable pain—had left her for dead, was now elevated to a high position of power.

"Now that bastard keeps a leash on Keir, until we and the other courts can pull back our forces and recuperate before tackling our next issue." Rhysand answered, keeping a watchful eye on his cousin.

"How long will that take?" Amren asked from her seat next to Mor, subtly moving closer and offering the blonde her glass of wine.

"Two or three weeks, give or take." Cassian responded as Mor took that glass and gulped down the remainder of its contents.

"How exactly will he do that?" Elain asked timidly, she hadn't been very involved in the meetings where we developed our plan of action—the war with Hybern still too fresh in her memory for her to actively participate as she had back then. She was finally in a good place, nearly recovered mentally, and talks of going to war again only gave her painful reminders of what she had lost then.

I placed a hand over hers gently. "Rhys has been writing back and forth with Eris over the last two weeks. Once he started gaining an advantage over his father, Eris received a letter from Keir offering to create an alliance," I explained.

"You mean renew an alliance," Mor said bitterly as she stood and crossed over to the set of windows, hands on her hips.

I frowned, sharing a look with Rhysand. "But Eris is our ally in this coup. I have already instructed him to keep Keir sidetracked with false promises of a treaty while we work together with the other courts and replenish our armies," he reassured.

"You really think we can trust him?" Mor asked, turning back to face us. "He's been biding his time until he could win his father's throne, using us as leverage, how do we know he'll keep his word now that he has it?"

"He is ruthless, cousin, there's no doubt about that. He also knows that he would be at a severe disadvantage if he paired with Keir in the coup. His court just underwent a civil war, it is in shambles and he now has to navigate how to deal with his father's supporters and piece his court back together. Partnering with Keir would be disastrous and result in his court falling apart completely," Rhys explained calmly.

"If for some batshit crazy reason he does decide to side with Keir, we outnumber them now." Cassian added. "With the other courts on our side, they can't win."

Mor still looked unconvinced as she turned back to the window without another word. I saw Azriel watching her, a flicker of yearning in those hazel eyes, but he looked away as Elain spoke up again.

"Is there any news of Vassa…?" She asked quietly.

"She was recovered and returned to her home in the Mortal Lands, by Lucien." He answered her just as softly.

A pall of silence fell over us—Mor's rage continued to simmer as she stared out the window; while my sister and the shadowsinger exchanged a prolonged look before she finally looked down at her lap. Whether or not she acknowledged the fact that it was her mate that rescued the mortal queen, or whether or not she cared, I could only guess.

Rhys cleared his throat. "In the meantime, we keep waiting while Eris keeps Keir distracted. During that time, the other courts will be steadily sending their forces until those who fought in Autumn are recovered and can accompany the rest. If all goes according to plan, we have approximately two weeks until we're hosting the other courts and High Lords," he continued.

"Where are we going to host five High Lords, their entourages, and armies? We can't use the palace above the Court of Nightmares, Keir will know." I asked, bewildered.

"We'll host them here, in Velaris," Rhys answered with a rouge smirk.

"And their armies will camp out in the Northern Forests of the Illyrian Steppes," Cassian finished, crossing his arms over his broad chest with a crooked grin of his own. "We'll give them a little taste of what it's like in those mountains."

"What if Kallon gets reports of those gathered armies? He'll alert Keir," I challenged.

Rhys placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "They'll be stationed outside of Windhaven camp. Kallon is too busy rallying his rebels to bother checking in on his rival camp. We'll be setting up wards to shield them once they've become large enough; the other High Lords and I will take turns keeping them up."

I squeezed his hand back, leaning back against the cushion of my chair and running a free hand over my belly. Madja continued to assure Rhys and I that our son was growing at the expected rate and remained perfectly healthy. My recovery continued to improve, and the healer had alleviated some of the conditions for my confinement. I was now allowed out of bed for short walks around the estate; I could also paint and tend to some of my duties as High Lady, like writing letters and sorting through reports, but needed to maintain a light and easy schedule—nothing involving anything too strenuous. Since I was on the cusp of entering the last stage of pregnancy, only a few short months away from giving birth, she advised that I remain in the estate until my time came—when my period of nesting began, and Rhys would whisk me away to the Cabin in preparation for the birth of our son.

"Will there be fighting?" Nesta asked.

She stood beside Cassian; hands neatly folded in front of her as she turned a raised chin to the male. Though I couldn't see it, I knew the memories that flashed behind her fierce grey-blue eyes—of Cassian on the battlefield during the war; of the injuries he sustained.

"It's doubtful," Rhys replied for the commander. "We outnumber his Darkbringers and rogue Illyrians six-to-one. Once he and Kallon get word of the troops gathered in the Steppes, they'll come to meet us with their own. If they're smart, they'll realize sooner rather than later how ill-fated their cause has become and surrender."

Mor scoffed from her place at the window. "Like hell they will. You know that bastard won't go down without a fight."

"Then there will be a slaughter. Either way, they lose." Rhys said easily. "They'll be reminded of why previous coup attempts have been thwarted, and the Illyrians will be put in their place once again. As for Keir," he shared a meaningful look with his cousin as citrine and amethyst clashed. I pictured the paints I would use, emphasizing just the shape and fierceness of that shared look.

"So...we have nothing to worry about?" Elain asked hesitantly.

I took her hand again, "We're safe Elain. With our allies and this plan, the coup will fail. This confrontation is nothing like how it was with Hybern."

She nodded, her tense shoulders easing a bit. Amren crossed one leg over the other as a crooked grin lined her lips. "At least this time I won't be needing to sacrifice my life for you lot."

"We could always add you to the front lines. They don't know you don't have any powers; we could just use you to intimidate them to death," Cassian quipped.

"She's far too small for that," Azriel added.

Cassian roared in laughter as Amren glared at the spymaster. I half-heartedly laughed, noting the edge that lingered between my mate and his cousin; until Mor turned away and walked out of the library.

Is she okay? I asked through the bond.

As okay as she can be. She hates that Eris is High Lord, but I just informed her that I will be turning her wretched father over to her after this coup is over

Did that help?

Not as much as I would have hoped

Let me go talk to her. It's been a while since we've talked alone, maybe I can help her sort through her feelings.

Rhys only nodded in response before crossing over to stand in front of me and helped ease me to my feet. Despite my remarkable recovery, my growing belly still made my movements slower and slower. I was also beginning to notice that my balance was growing increasingly skewed but blamed it on the bed rest for now. The others hardly noticed as he escorted me to the door; their continued conversations and my departure a subtle indication that our meeting was over.

"How are you feeling?" Rhys asked once we were in the hallway, wrapping an arm around my waist as we walked.

"I'm fine. It's been nice to walk around again, even if I'm stuck indoors for now," I said.

A small frown came to his face and I quickly realized how my words sounded. The last time I had been confined inside an estate…

"It's not the same," I quickly amended. "I'm doing it for our little Bash," I said while rubbing my stomach for emphasis. "For both of our health. You're not locking me away and forbidding me from entering the city."

He took my hand in his free one, bringing it to his lips. "Never," he said. "Maybe in another couple of weeks Madga will deem it safe for us to resume our walks out along the Sidra. We'll get to enjoy the weather while it's still warm."

I smiled. "After this coup is over, and those responsible are taken care of, we'll get to enjoy it. We'll get to enjoy this," I said as I looked down at my middle.

Rhys's eyes softened as his gaze moved to my stomach, and I felt our son stretch in my belly. We stopped short of Mor's room and he pressed a kiss to my brow, his hands holding either side of my swollen abdomen. "Yes, we will."

I breathed in his scent and sighed lightly before pulling him in for a quick kiss. "You go take care of business. I'll talk to Mor and spend the day with her."

He nodded before taking a step back, "I'll be in my office if you need me."

"I'll be fine," I reminded him.

He smirked and kissed my belly goodbye before winnowing away. I took in another inhale before I stepped around the corner and approached Mor's door. Before I could knock, however, the door swung open with the blonde on the other side of it. She ushered me inside wordlessly and I followed suit, walking into her suite.

"You didn't need to come check on me," she said as she closed the door behind me.

"I figured you needed someone to talk to after hearing the news," I said as I worked to lower myself on the plush settee in the center of her room.

She sighed and plopped herself onto the seat beside me, helping me down and stared at her feet. "I knew it was bound to happen someday, especially after the deal Rhys made with him, but…" she trailed off.

"But it's different actually seeing it become a reality," I affirmed and touched her shoulder gently.

"I know, and you're completely entitled to your feelings. After everything that's happened, on top of this coup orchestrated by Keir," I shook my head and squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry Mor."

She continued to stare at the ground until her dark-honeyed eyes finally met mine. "I'm well over five-hundred centuries old, and yet any knowledge of the two of them working together—even under a guise for our sake just…" she shook her head, truly unable to voice the rage boiling underneath her skin, her elegant fingers curling into fists.

I touched one of those fists, levelling my gaze with hers. "Mor, I promise you, if Eris so much as looks at us the wrong way, we'll take care of him. The last thing we do is trust him, and I know Rhys wouldn't hesitate to rip him to shreds if he tries anything like his father did." I promised.

The corner of her mouth twitched upward slightly, and she sighed. "I know the alliance is necessary. I'm just not happy about it," she lamented.

"Neither am I," I assured, and she dipped her head in approval before uncurling her hands and bringing one to touch my stomach gently.

"How is he?" she asked.

Ever since revealing to my sisters that I was expecting a boy, the news hadn't remained a secret for long. Elain had been so delighted and shared the news with Mor and Amren during dinner that same night; Cassian then boasting that he had known for some time, which launched into a debate with the entire inner circle. I then sheepishly promised Rhysand that I wouldn't reveal our son's name until after his birth.

"He's good, moving a lot right now," I answered and smiled at feeling a kick. "Feel that?"

Mor's widened grin was answer enough as she continued to stroke my belly, encouraging my son to kick more and laughed as he responded to her movements and words.

"How does it feel for you?" She asked.

I shrugged. "It's hard to describe, the more he grows the different it feels. Viviane once told me that once I reach the end stages, I'll start to feel feet, fists, and elbows in there."

Mor cringed. "Does it hurt at all?"

I shook my head. "I think he's still too small. His movements are noticeable but not painful."

She nodded and studied my belly for a silent minute, caressing it lightly. "I can't wait for all of this to be over so we can turn all the attention on you, little one. Auntie Mor already has so many presents for you," she cooed.

I blinked, "Presents?"

She grinned mischievously, "Wanna see?"

I nodded with a laugh, but as she got up and crossed over to her enormous closet, a knock came at her door. Raising a brow, she walked over and opened it; a sentry waiting outside of it before she allowed him in.

"Pardon me, milady, but Lucien Vanserra is here to see you," the sentry informed me, albeit a bit hesitant.

I balked at him. "Here on the grounds?" I asked to confirm.

Lucien was about the only male welcomed in and out of Velaris; due to his connection with Elain, and his desire to be closer from time-to-time after the war, he had his own apartment in the city. However, since constructing the estate, he only visited on a few occasions.

The sentry nodded, "Yes. He arrived moments ago, insisting on an audience with you. Lord Rhysand greeted him, but he still maintains in meeting with you alone."

I paused to think. Knowing my mate, he was leaving the decision to me. "Is he alright?" I asked cautiously. "He isn't hurt, is he?"

The sentry shook his head. "He seems well, but unyielding."

"Maybe it has something to do with his swine of a brother," Mor offered. "I'll go with you. If he's angry, the last thing we want is for him to lash out at you in your condition."

"Lucien wouldn't hurt me Mor. If anything, he's probably hurting too. I have a feeling something else has happened," I said before motioning her to help me stand.

I grunted a bit with effort as she helped me get to my feet, a little wearier than I had previously been. Mor frowned, "We can send for him after dinner, once you've gotten some food and rest."

"I'll meet him in the sitting room attached to my suite. I can rest there and talk with him, and I know you all won't be far," I insisted and linked my arm with hers.

"Tell Lucien I will meet him in my sitting room in five minutes," I said to the sentry, who bowed in response and left the room.

"Are you sure about this Feyre? If he upsets you and puts too much strain on you and the baby…" Mor began.

"It's all right Mor," I assured her as she escorted me out of her room. "I think it's Lucien's turn to vent to a friend about the new High Lord of Autumn."

Mor cringed, recalling the cruel revelation Eris had unleashed on his youngest brother at the summit months ago. Still, as she led me back to the sitting room adjoined to my suite, she waited with me for Lucien's arrival. Moments later, my disheveled friend strode in, his russet eye wide while the mechanical one whirring as he took us in. He didn't so much as look at Mor as he cautiously approached me.

"Did you know?" He asked me by way of greeting. "About Helion and my mother? About-" he began but cut himself off as he finally realized Mor was standing beside the chaise lounge I perched on.

I turned a look at her and she understood my request. "I'll be down the hall," she said before leaving us alone.

"Did you know about their affair? That Helion is my-" he cut himself off again, unable to say the words as he paced the room.

I only offered a small nod, watching him empathetically. "Yes," I said softly.

"When?" He asked, still pacing back and forth across the carpet. "When did you figure it out? Or who told you? Was it my father? I mean, was it-"

"I figured it out after I first met Helion; before the war with Hybern started and we all gathered for the first time at Thesan's palace. He told me the story of what happened to your mother, her sisters, and how he rescued her during the first war." I answered, interrupting his rambling questions.

He stopped pacing and faced me. "Did Rhysand know?"

I shook my head. "Not until I figured it out myself. I made the connection; Rhys didn't realize it until I did."

His arms grew slack at his sides. "So, it's not some well-known secret that all of Prythian knows about and just hid from me?"

"No Lucien, it-" I began but then he interrupted.

"So why didn't you tell me, Feyre?" He asked, both of his eyes wide and bewildered. "You've known all this time and you didn't think to tell me? I thought we were friends!"

I frowned as he snapped at me, my hormones surging and causing tears to well in my eyes. It must have been evident, because he sighed and took a mild step towards me before turning away and running both hands through his bright auburn hair with an exasperated sigh. I quickly put my emotions in check, not wanting my irrational mood swing to interrupt Lucien's moment.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"No, Lucien, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Honestly, I didn't think it was my place, and after what happened at the summit, I thought it was the last thing you wanted to hear." I explained.

He sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the ground. "My father...I mean, Beron, told me. When he attacked the Mortal Lands and took Vassa. He...claimed I was 'no son of his' and said I was nothing more than a Day Court bastard. I was shocked, and then he started the attack. I tried to fight him off, to protect Vassa, but then…" his voice faded as his eye turned hazy, the other whirring out of focus as he recalled whatever details that occurred that day.

I slowly offered my hand, still seated, and it took a minute before he registered my movement and took it. I motioned for him to sit beside me and he did, his shoulders slumped over slightly as an invisible weight pressed on them.

"When Eris was crowned, my fa...Beron, imprisoned; my mother summoned me back to the palace. She broke down and explained everything, told me of her relationship with Helion and that he was my biological father. She never told him," he went on, voice barely above a whisper.

"She loved him, Feyre, and her husband kept her there. Imprisoned to serve as Lady of the Autumn Court, even while she carried another male's child," he pressed a palm onto his good eye, massaging the stress from it.

I placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly. "How is she?"

He sighed. "Relieved. Eris is granting her a separation from Beron before he...finds a way to deal with him, but when she told me about Helion, she seemed...broken." He met my gaze again,

"You were almost her. All those years ago with Tamlin, when I didn't do anything to stop it. I almost let what happened to my mother happen to you," he said, a subtle horror laced in his voice.

"What happened to your mother wasn't your fault, Lucien." I said, moving my hand from his shoulder to his hand.

"I knew. A part of me knew she wasn't happy with my father," he cringed. "Beron. Yet I didn't try to take her away. I didn't do anything, and neither did Helion."

I sighed and moved a little closer to him. "Lucien, there was nothing you could have done. Beron had complete control over her. Even if you could, she probably wouldn't have left for fear of him and what he might do."

"But that's the point, I could have," he jumped back to his feet, pacing again. "I could have done something for her, for you, and I didn't. I couldn't protect her, or you, and I couldn't protect Vassa! I couldn't even protect your sister, my mate, from what Hybern did to her and Nesta. What kind of male am I that I can't protect the ones I care for, the ones I love?"

I frowned, "Lucien-"

"No, I...he took Vassa, Feyre. He managed to find that sorcerer that controls her and forced her into her firebird form. The way she screamed; it was...I couldn't bear it. Then learning what he did to my mother, and remembering what happened to you...to Elain, to even Jesminda, and how I allowed it all to happen. I...what…" he looked around frantically, his chest heaving a bit as he paced.

I did my best to rise as quickly and cautiously as I could before I approached him and threw my arms around him in an embrace. His arms were pinned at his sides as I held him, his body going rigid at first—until slowly he relaxed, his arms going limp before slowly wrapping his arms around me in return. Despite the complicated past with Tamlin, the one instance where he did have a say, he was my friend and had more than made up for it since. Beron had given him a life of turbulence; him and his brothers making Lucien's life hell until he found reprieve in the Spring Court. Then, once his closest friend had begun turning into a tyrant reminiscent of his father, those feelings of being trapped returned—unable to help me to the extent he wanted. After escaping that, after the war, he once again found solace with his human friends...until Beron's latest attack.

Lucien had felt so out of control in his own life, and every time little moments of freedom were offered—whether by finding a home in the Spring Court, then being welcomed to Velaris and the Mortal Realm, it seemed to crumble before him. Now with this latest truth revealed to him, it was no wonder that he was beginning to crumble next.

I wouldn't let that happen.

"Your mother is safe. I am safe. Elain is safe, and Vassa is safe," I said. "We are all safe now Lucien. Yes, we each endured some version of hell, but we survived. Just like you are doing now," I pulled back at arm's length to meet his gaze.

"You saved Vassa. As for me and Elain, who knows what would have happened if you hadn't done your part during the war; if you hadn't guided the Mortals, and Drakon and Miyram's army down the right path. As for your mother, you did what you could. Unfortunately, there was nothing you could do while she remained subservient under Beron, but now she is free of him. There is so much to look forward to Lucien," I took his hands again, squeezing them. "There will be good days and bad—don't let the hard days win."

Lucien blinked at me; his russet eye growing soft while the golden one whirred quietly. He continued to stare at me before he embraced me again, pulling me in a little too tightly and I cringed at the pressure on my stomach. He gasped and stepped back.

"Are you okay?" he asked

I nodded with a weary laugh, holding my stomach. "I'm fine, you just squished him a little."

He looked at my stomach, as if he just noticed it and helped me back to my seat carefully. "I almost forgot how far along you were. I haven't seen you since the summit."

"It's weird huh?" I motioned to my enlarged belly. "Sometimes I'm still a little surprised when I see myself in the mirror."

"Is he okay? I heard what you did...after what happened in Velaris," he asked with a frown.

"We're okay. We had a little scare, but my healer took care of us right away. I was on bedrest for a while, and technically still recovering, but I'm better now." I answered, resting my arms over my stomach.

He shook his head. "Rhysand must've lost his mind. I nearly did when Vassa was taken, and she isn't," he stopped himself with another shake of his head—as if trying to erase the memory of what happened to the mortal Queen.

I raised my brow at the tone in his voice, his worry for the fierce mortal woman. I paused as he loosed a long breath, finally cooled from his panic. "Do you want me to call Elain? I know she was worried about Vassa too, maybe you can assure her that she's alright?"

Lucien shook his head. "No, it's alright, I should get back to Vassa," he said, but paused when he met my questioning stare. "And Jurian; the mortal lands."

I laughed. "But…" he started. "Will you tell her I was here?"

"Yes. I'll let her know you're taking care of Vassa."

He dipped his head in a subtle nod and sighed again. "Thank you Feyre," he said softly.

"Anytime Lucien, just remember what I said okay?"

He offered a stiff smile before leaning down to give me a parting hug before escorting himself out. Rhys appeared in the doorway a second later.

"Well," he started. "That was intense."

I sighed, slumping back against the lounge and running my hands over my stomach. "He was upset. Beron told him about Helion and his mother."

Rhys released his own deep exhale and crossed over to the lounge, scooping me up easily and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my head against his shoulder. He walked us into our adjoining bedroom, laying me across the bed carefully and spreading out beside me. I rubbed my stomach lightly, watching it before Rhys placed a hand at the apex of my belly.

"He'll recover. It'll take time, but he will come to terms with the news," he said quietly as he ran his hand over the expanse of my stomach.

"Do you think Helion knows?" I asked.

"He probably suspects after the comment Eris made at the summit," he responded, voice still low. "Though I'm not sure what he'll do about it."

"What would you have done, if it were us? If I had actually married Tamlin, and in my time spent here to fulfill the bargain, you and I fell in love regardless? If we had conceived our son and I was stuck in the Spring Court, forced to name him Tamlin's…" I flinched at just the mere thought of it, of how easily it could have been me.

Rhys took my chin gently, tilting my head back to meet his violet eyes, sparkling intensely. "I would have torn the world apart for you, Feyre," he reminded me.

I smiled half-heartedly before he pulled me closer. "We don't know exactly how hard Helion tried to get her back, perhaps now they'll get the end they deserved," he said.

"Maybe," I mused, playing with the collar of his black tunic. "Did Eris...say anything about what he plans to do with Beron?"

"He's keeping him imprisoned until further notice. Said he might turn him over to us once we have Keir and Kallon in our custody," he said as his fingertips traced my side lightly.

I shivered at his touch, a part of me resenting Madja for deeming any sexual activity still too strenuous during my recovery. I hummed in response, "He'd actually let us execute his father?"

Rhys shrugged. "Beron will die regardless, along with Keir and Kallon."

"Mmm, what a fitting end for the three of them." I murmured, my eyes beginning to feel heavy as my mate's warmth continued to envelop me.

He noticed the fatigue in my voice and pressed a kiss to my brow. "All this talk of war and its lasting effects is wearing you down my love," he teased.

I rolled my eyes, closing them as I laid my head on his shoulder. "It wouldn't be if I weren't so busy growing a powerful high fae," I muttered.

I felt his dark chuckle rattle in his chest. "Sleep Feyre," he whispered as a hand ran down my back gently.

Sebastian must've wanted the same, because despite his constant movements and kicks just a while earlier, he was now calm—perhaps slipping into his own nap. I felt myself fading, too tired to respond with a witty remark and only stirred slightly when I felt Rhys move from my side and press another kiss to my brow.

I dreamt of Sebastian running through a pile of bright red and orange leaves, laughing and giggling as they crunched under his feet, Lucien standing at a distance with a content smile on his face—Vassa at his side.

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armsdealing · 4 years

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TAGGED: i think it was @overlourdes so thank you! TAGGING: @undones (your pick) @apearlwrites (luisa) @neotropical (ivy) @starrdew (christie or anyone u’d like) @isolctions (veda) @streetsofsecrets (louis) + im tired, tag urself.

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

NAME - isla meredith blackwell EYE COLOUR - brown HAIR STYLE / COLOUR - isla usually opts for protective hairstyles, wigs and hairpieces. she’s got a preference long dark blonde locks and wearing it in loose waves. (see here), but she’s got a nice collection of various shades and lengths and she always enjoys looking for new ones. HEIGHT - 5′9″. 6′0 with when wearing her four inch heels. CLOTHING STYLE - i mean... when she isn’t rocking that medical couture? she likes a bit of variety. outside of her scrubs and comfortable shoes and lab coats, she likes to dress to the occasion, but always stylish. often it’s down to a nice pairs of jeans and a blouse. peplum tops, halter tops, sweaters (and turtlenecks), coats... i wouldn’t say they’re normally expensive clothes, but they look well cared for and quality. and she does have a few pieces that she’s proud of... like a pink satin duster. and now that we mention pink, she’s into a lot of colors, and that includes pastels. and while she does like to wear dresses, she doesn’t get many chances to. much like the wigs, she’s got a diverse wardrobe. clothes and dressing up is something she enjoys doing, when she’s got the time for it. since she often doesn’t, it’s not uncommon for her to just throw on sweatpants and a hoodie when she’s got to run to the grocery store. but like, nobody actually ever sees her doing that, so they just assume she’s got two moods: the scrubs, or really well dressed, until proven otherwise. BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE - she’s long legs with very strong thighs, and she likes her lips too. the former, coupled with her posture, makes her look statuesque.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

FEARS - losing the clinic, either due to money troubles or just the general mayhem that goes on in the neighborhood. losing patients is always a fear, and she gathers it’s a healthy one; it keeps her attentive. GUILTY PLEASURE - sugar in general. she likes to bake. and it’s perfectly fine to eat cookies at 2 am if you’ve been awake since 4 am from the previous day, in her opinion. BIGGEST PET PEEVE - people who rip out their iv drips thinking that they’re in a movie and nothing will happen. that thing isn’t just in some random part of your body. it’s directly pinching a blood vessel. you’re gonna bleed. sometimes a lot. if you don’t care about yourself, at least mind the nurse’s time cleaning up after you. in general, people that hate hospitals and take it out on her + the med staff in general really get on her nerves, even if she’s trained to remain civil and calm. AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE - making the clinic grow and for the neighborhood to thrive. maybe to the degree that she can take a little break... she’s been working nonstop for quite some time. that being said, only god can tell if she’ll actually take the break once she’s able to. she’s addicted to the job. feels useless when she’s not there. in 2020 she’d also like to get into the dating scene again.... but you didn’t hear that from me.

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS UPON WAKING UP: "coffee.” WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST: the patients currently under her care. money. the weird individuals occasionally standing in the street looking at her come in and out of the clinic. books. the various administrative errands she’s got to tend to. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: if she did everything she could. WHAT YOUR BEST QUALITY IS: the determination, the kindness, the dedication. she really embodies the hippocratic oath. especially the 2019 update.

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES - single. TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED - to be loved properly. respect just so happens to be a requirement, in that case. BEAUTY OR BRAINS - she prefers values. DOGS OR CATS - dogs.

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU…

LIE - not often. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - on most days. BELIEVE IN LOVE - sure. WANT SOMEONE - in the general sense? sure.

LAYER SIX : EVER BEEN …

BEEN ON STAGE: she’s been on podiums and has had to make speeches at fundraisers. DONE DRUGS: yes, when she was younger. weed for the most part. CHANGED WHO YOU WERE TO FIT IN: not so much because she wanted to fit in, but because she wanted to be safe. following nasty responses from peers when she was a tween, she stuck to looking and acting like people wanted her to look and act up. this lasted for several years and it was around the time she was 27 that she began to present how she wanted to, which was more femininely. from that point to now it was a gradual process.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

FAVOURITE COLOR - purple FAVOURITE ANIMAL - rabbits FAVOURITE MOVIE - probably something dumb like 1993′s homeward bound. FAVOURITE GAME - words with friends.

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

DAY YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE - august 28. #she’s a virgo. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE - i’m not answering that. AGE YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY - 17. DOES AGE MATTER - yes.

LAYER NINE : IN A PERSON

BEST PERSONALITY - kind, patient, resourceful, loyal. BEST EYE COLOUR - brown BEST HAIR COLOUR - brown or black. BEST THING TO DO WITH A PARTNER - just being around each other works. talking, reading in silence together, cooking, cuddling in bed, sex, etc.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I LOVE - “abed.” that’s a friend of hers and colleague. I FEEL - “tired.” I HIDE - “nothing.” I MISS - “my mother.” I WISH - “things will get better.”

#this one had me looking up many pics of l*verne and saying 'wow' every 2 min #style. ICON.#me when im studying: but am i making isla proud #* isla.#misc.

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doux-ciel · 5 years

Text

Gift Of Life. Hoping for a Miracle

Soundtrack: 🎵 🎵 🎵

Character Aesthetics: 🔥 🔥 🔥

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @blackandwhitesunsets @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

If so click here -> ✨ ✨ ✨

|Trigger Warning| Book does contain talk of death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Angst, Emotionally heavy topics.

⚠⚠ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! ⚠⚠

“Mom why is the sky blue?”

I reply to my curious 8 year old daughter who was laying in the frosty grass of my backyard; her striped rainbow hat had fallen beside her face. “I don't know”

“Mom why is the grass green?” She asks as she plucks a blade of grass, her fingers melting the icy substance.

She never runs out of questions to ask. I place my book down on the end table that was near the patio chair. “I don't know sweetie”

“Mom why can't I have a sister or a brother?”

“That I definitely don't know” I chuckle a little while bringing my hot tea to my lips, taking a sip. Counting the calories in my head, I close my eyes just for a moment to enjoy this feeling; knowing soon it would be over. I place my mug down focusing my attention on my 4’1 fair skinned daughter who had jumped up from the icy ground and ran over to me. “You don't love all the attention I’m giving you?”

While in my arms she answered. “Attention is for animals at the zoo, Lindsey at school her mom just had a baby…..I want a baby too”

I take my cold hands placing them on her rosy cheeks, bringing her face closer to mines giving each other Eskimo kisses. “I do too darling” She giggles and backs away from me, taking a seat next to me on the patio chair. She grabs her mug, bringing the now cool hot chocolate to her lips.

We both turn our heads over to the fence that encompasses our backyard when we hear a familiar voice. My mother-in-laws voice fills my ears; Natasia holds her hands out and crouches down to be at the same level with Adalynn who was currently running to her grandmother. “Hey there's my little sweet cake”

“Grandma!!” Adalynn exclaims, her short arms wrap around the elderly woman’s neck.

Natasia lifts up Adalynn while picking up her scarf that had fallen from their previous encounter. “Are you ready for ice skating today?”

Adalynn nods, now placing her head on Natasia’s neck. “Yes I'm ready”

I see Natasia’s eyes shift over to me, she has a look of disapproval. I then see her nutmeg colored eyes observe Adalynn’s attire, seeing as how she is in her knit grey leggings, a yellow coat and her uggs. Basically what Natasia is saying that she is not in her practice uniform. Lowering my head as my red hair falls into my face. I then reach up to where my book lay grabbing it, the title read Bound Before The Morrow. “Well you don't look ready? Where's your skates and your gloves?”

Natasia sets Adalynn down on the ground, “There in the library, I have to go find them!! Can you help?”

Natasia grabs Adalynn’s hand, they both start their trek to my home library. As they walk past me, Natasia places her hand on my shoulder squeezing her nails which are digging into my skin. “Off to the library we go!!”

I flinch a little, waiting for the pain to subside my mind would often think about having more children. Giving my husband a boy or another girl, giving Adalynn someone to play with, giving her someone to grow up with.

I want to have a real family.

Speaking of my husband I see his name pop up on my phone screen, his profile picture is of him when we were on our vacation to the Maldives. I immediately answer; putting the book in my hand down. I bring my Iphone XIX up to my ear, I hear his low-toned voice which makes me smile.

“Hey my love”

I rise up from the patio chair, grabbing my now empty mug and Adalynn’s half full mug; gathering the piece of literature. While balancing my phone in between my shoulder and ear; I walk into the kitchen which was seconds away from my backdoor.“Hi Nathaniel, I can't wait for you to come home” Placing the mugs in the warm soapy water, and with my other hand I place the book down on my gray marble counter tops.

Nathaniel sighs, I know he has had a ton of meetings today, he must be exhausted. “I can't wait to come home either...I'm so ready to-”

“Get in bed?” I ask.

“Yes definitely” He answers.

“And doing what in bed?” I ask, as I take off my jacket my hands brush against my nipples which were now erect from just the sound of his voice. I knew I needed him in me now.

“Sleeping, I'm so drained from today's meetings” I roll my eyes as I rest my elbows by the edge of the sink.

Turning on the faucet, letting the cold water run and scooping some up with my free hand; splashing it on my face. I know my face was red like a strawberry as I blushed with embarrassment. “Well I'm ovulating and I just thought-”

Nathaniel quickly apologizes “I'm so sorry…..your right, but wait don't you have that appointment today? To check to see if everything is working properly?”

That last comment caught me off guard, I scoff shutting the water off, my voice gets higher with every word. “Are you trying to say something Nathaniel?”

“What are you talking about?” Nathaniel asks, his voice getting defense.

“Are you calling me defected or something?”

I don’t hear anything on the other end for a good 30 seconds before I hear his usual blunt voice louder than normal. “Look I never said that...I'm just saying we have been trying for a couple of months now and nothing is happening”

I was getting agitated by the minute, and to think I was happy when he first called me just ten minutes earlier. “Yeah well maybe there's something wrong with you? Did you ever think about that?!”

He clears throat his voice is clear and firm, “Charlotte just go to the doctor and listen to what they are saying...they know what they are doing, just let them figure this out.”

I take a deep breath, practicing the exercises my therapist taught me when I’m feeling stressed. My words come out in a more calm tone. “I know it's just hard not knowing”

I can tell he was smiling through the phone, “Hey your still perfect to me” He softly says to me.

I roll my eyes while walking over to the living room placing my butt on the cushion first while letting gravity lead the rest of my body to fall. I snicker, “You've gotten better at dodging the situation.”

I then earn a chuckle from my husband, “I just try not to think about it...so are you finishing up your book?”

I examine a piece of loose cloth on my sweater while thinking about my newest romance novel, that I still have yet to complete. “Yeah, Bloomsbury said I have to turn it in by next week so I'll be cramming in the last few chapters like every night”

“You can do it” I appreciate the encouraging words from him but I already know he isn’t that interested in my writing. He barely wants to hear my ideas when its just us two together in the office sometimes. I know I supported him when he was starting up his computer software company, but its like he can’t give me that type of support. I already hear it from his mother everyday about how I’m not contributing to the household and how my job isn’t ideal for our lifestyle but I think Nathaniel and I are well off. Sometimes too well off, but I’m grateful for the life my husband has provided for me and I wouldn’t ever want to change it.

“Thank you” I reply.

He was now sounding concerned, “Did you eat today?”

I look over at the breakfast he made me this morning, some pancakes, eggs, with some sausage and a glass of orange juice. I can feel the plate staring at me; taunting me almost.

I lie. “Yes why?”

“You know how you get Charlotte” His voice changes to a more cheery tone. “How's my little blessing doing? Does she miss papa?”

A smile appears on my face thinking about how close they have gotten over the years. Old memories flood in when we first brought her home with us, when she wouldn’t let anybody else hug her but Nathaniel. That little girl has brought so much life to both of our lives. “She sure does”

“I want to talk to her”

My eyes search around the room until I hear Adalynn’s whines coming from the bathroom upstairs, I’m thinking Natasia is trying to do her hair. Its safe to say Adalynn despises getting her hair touched at all, if it weren’t for me doing her hair at night while she was asleep her hair would look like a birds nest. “She's getting ready for ice skating lessons”

I hear some shuffling of some papers on the other end of the line. “Who's taking her?”

“Well your mother of course” I answer matter of factly.

“Is Wallace going with her?” he asks referring to Natasia’s life partner as she likes to call. I just think she didn't want to date someone who was halfway to their deathbed.

I shake my head, trying to remember the man's work hours, “No I don't think so, why would he go with her?”

He clicks his tongue, he voice is now showing a hint of annoyance, “He follows my mom everywhere when he's not at work, he's like a lost puppy looking for a bone”

I try and reason with him, in no way am I condoning this relationship but its his mother's life. “He likes her company, I mean they are together”

I can see his face now, he probably has his head buried in his hands, the vein on his forehead is probably protruding. His voice sharp on the subject at hand. “I don't even know why mom would get with that bast-”

“Hey, just calm down...now it's been years since your father died Nathaniel, I think she felt it was time for her to move on” I bring my hand up to my face sliding it across from my eyebrows to my right cheek. Slightly annoyed by his whole tone changing just by the sound of a another mans name. If I being honest I think Nathaniel just doesn’t want his mother to be happy with anyone else.

“With a guy 30 years younger than her?”

“Love is love”

I hear a foreign voice on his end of the line call out to him, he pauses for minute listening to what the person had to say. He grumbles profanities before saying, “Anyways I have to go, tell Adalynn I said good luck at practice today, and for you good luck with the appointment.”

I place my hand on my stomach, sending a little prayer up to the universe asking to help me. “Love you”

“Love you to pieces.” He replies back, I then hear the three beeps letting me know the call has ended.

I bring my feet down to the multicolored carpet that lay in my very moody/dark living room. Walking over to the kitchen where my plate of food lay, I look at how the syrup has settled into the fried flour. How the eggs have melted cheese in them, and how the sausage is glistening with the fatty oils that came from the pan.

It makes me sick to even think about.

Without hesitation I place the food in the garbage can, while taking a few minutes of my time to tidy up the kitchen.

Just after I had finished putting all the wet dishes on the drying rack; I see my phone buzz. I see the notification from an unknown number. I tap the message, reading the screen over and over hoping it would change. Hoping she would somehow disappear from my life forever.

¤ ¤ ¤

While Natasia was taking Adalynn to practice I had to catch my appointment with Dr. Stone. She has been my doctor for years, even before I wanted to have children. I was sitting in her office waiting for her to come back with my test results we had previously did in the summer, approximately about 2 months before today’s date. Her mahogany tinted skin came into view, her eyes were looking down at my folder, she didn’t express any emotion at all. Sitting down across from me; her silver and glass office desk is the only barrier between us two. “Nothing is 100% set in stone but things aren't looking good Charlotte...the tests came back, we already know that you had some problems in your past.”

I purse my lips, crossing my arms over my body, “Problems that I'm trying to fix.”

She sets my folder aside, she swallows her lips; looking me in my eyes she asks. “Have you been making yourself-”

Why won’t she let this subject go? Can’t she see that I’m trying to do better for not only my health but the health of my womb. I notice my right eye start to twitch while my left leg start to move side to side. “No...I told you I'm trying to fix things”

Pursing her own plump lips she looks at my body language, her eyes focus back on her desk. “I know I'm just making sure”

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I’m starting to get anxious about the silence in the room, with only the clock ticking. I straighten up in the chair I’m currently sitting in; peering over to look at my folder I try and make out what all of this means. Placing my chewed fingernails on the edge of the desk I ask, “Ok so what is it?”

Her eyes meet mines, a warm smile appears on her face making me feel much better about my current condition, but boy was I wrong. “You seem to be ovulating regularly but we are not in the safe zone, with the things your body has been through with your other miscarriages plus your eating disorder I don't know if your even going to able to carry another baby full term.”

That isn’t what I wanted to hear at all.I sit back in my chair, placing my index finger on my temple and my thumb on my cheekbone, my voice is now grim “Do you think I’ll ever be able to experience motherhood to the full extent?”

“Charlotte you’re already a mother” Dr. Stone reassures me, reaching her hand across the desk; motioning her fingers telling me to grab a hold of her hand for comfort. Even though it seems sometimes she has a stone heart, it feels like something or someone is always chipping away at it. Never married, no children, her life seems more miserable than mines. But she had told me previously she lives a happy and well content life, a life that is worth living.

Grabbing onto her hand I feel my nose get hot, my top lip starts to quiver, I can feel myself start to crumble in front of her. “Yes I know that but, experiencing the baby kick and the belly…..the maternity clothes” My head lowers having my thick head of hair conceal my face, I notice the tears falling down like raindrops onto her desk. I repeatedly apologize, while taking my sweater and trying my best to wipe it away.

Dr. Stone squeezes my hand and in a soft but comforting voice she says, “Charlotte look….I know it’s hard. But you have to realize there are other options for you….you could try adopting”

I shake my head, quickly retracting my hand back away from hers; I take the sleeve of my sweater to wipe my face. Again that’s not what I was wanting to hear, maybe it was childish of me to not face reality but I wasn’t in the right mental space to accept that something is really wrong with me. I rise up from my seated position, “Are we done here?”

I could see Dr. Stone was taken aback by my actions just a few seconds prior, but that didn't; stop her from containing a level of professionalism. She grabs a pen from inside her desk, “Yes, just let me sign your paperwork and give you your prescription.”

When I walk into the lobby of the clinic I wait in line for my name to be called to set up another appointment with Dr. Stone in the next couple of months. As I’m waiting I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant. I peer down, her saddle brown diaper bag and I see a large text book, in which it read: The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. It looks as though she is getting her Ph.D. I then settle my eyes on the warm olive toned baby. The baby could be 5 months...6? I focus my attention back on the mother, I wonder how life for her is like, is it hard? Trying to be in school while also raising a child? I wonder if she too had complications conceiving and suddenly she fell pregnant? Or If she’s just fertile and has 6 kids at home, either way I'm jealous.

Why can’t I just conceive? I can feel the tears coming, I start to sniffle the mucus that was wanting to run all down my nose. A kind young woman noticing me grabs me some tissue from her purse, I gladly took them. After a short while of being in my own head my name finally got called.

I had just gotten in my 2026 Honda C-RV, with my seat belt on but; I didn’t put my left foot on the brake to push the button to start the car. Instead I turn my back to look at the 2nd row of my sports utility vehicle; looking at the back two seats. Seeing Adalynn’s booster seat brings back memories of when Nathaniel and I first brought it. The countless questions he would ask when she first started riding with us.

“Are you comfortable Adalynn?”

“Is it too high Adalynn?”

I then remember just a short time after she had gotten comfortable with us, Nathaniel and I were taking a trip to the market. Adalynn was in a deep slumber, we could see her lips slightly parted hearing her small snores.

In the driver's seat, he takes his seat belt off turning to me while I was trying to get the shopping list together, “You think you want another?”

I mush my eyebrows together confused as to what he was asking me. “Another child?”

He nods, grabbing my hand, “Of course another child...but this time I want you to carry mines”

I look away not wanting to discourage him but I know with the previous miscarriages it would be damn near impossible.

As my electric blue eyes scan the outside world, bringing me back to the present.

Through my back window I notice a butterfly; swiftly moving against the wind its beautiful and articulate details to its wings had me memorized. The way tiny insect was able to push through and keep on going.

Butterflies mean hope, it could mean something else to others but to me it means I have to to keep hope alive, I can’t give up. In the back of my mind I knew I couldn’t bring myself to arrive home and present my husband with horrible news.

Not again at least.

I wanted to give him another child but I needed to weigh my options again, I needed to make a decision on what I was going to do. To have that hope that I had a few minutes ago; I decide to call the only person I know who could help me in this situation. Pressing my left foot on the brake I push the button to start my vehicle.

Taking my phone and grabbing my charger cord connecting it to car; I press the third contact number down. After hearing the 4th ring she finally answers, Her honeyed voice fills up my car. “Hi”

I look in the rear view mirror waiting to see if any cars were coming behind me. When I don't see anyone I proceed to change my gear to reverse, “How are you doing? Mother”

Natasia answers, “I'm doing well your little firecracker is keeping me on my toes, I can't wait for another.”

My foot presses on the break suddenly my body jerks forwards. Taking a couple of shallow breaths I look back in my rear view mirror seeing a car almost run into me. I take my hand putting it up; mouthing the words ‘I'm sorry’ to the husband who is currently trying to get his wife into clinic that I was just coming out of. I clear my throat, “I don't think that's going to happen”

“What? What do you mean?”

As I turn out the parking lot and onto the main road I press the button to let the seat heaters turn on, I turn the volume up a bit higher. “The doctor told me that she doesn't think I'm able to carry a baby to full term”

Natasia scoffs, “Oh that's preposterous! That's just not true” I hear Adalynn in the background naming her favorite animals.

Stopping at the red light I raise my eyebrows while nodding my head, “I'm telling you...it is”

I hear her voice get quiet, “What about adoption?”

I press the gas pedal when the light turns green, my car hits a pothole in the road sending me and my car up off the asphalt for a second. I twist my lips, “Adoption again? We had to wait years to get Adalynn and I don't think I can't wait that long again...we just got her three years ago, I want a baby. A baby that I can hold and nurture, a baby that knows I'm its mommy.”

“Well you know Rachel?” Natasia asks me.

I remember fondly of the now mother 5, her husband was a aerospace engineer while she was a real estate agent. Her eldest Destiny would play with Adalynn sometimes after school. “Yeah the one that had the triplets last fall?”

“Yeah her..well she was infertile and she got some help.”

Now I’m intrigued I always thought she had the triplets naturally, although I was a little skeptical on why she would always be in her minivan covering her stomach while picking up her girls. “Help? What do you mean?”

“I mean she hired a surrogate”

I was astonished, I didn’t know how to react. I turn on the corner of Layfette and Wilbur Road. “Is that illegal?”

Natasia chuckles, “Oh no darling never...I'll tell you what? I'll set you up an appointment at the place, it's called Gifting Miracles”

Thinking about what she was saying still in my heart I thought about that butterfly. I still want to keep trying but maybe sitting back and letting someone else do the work for me isn't so bad right?

I mean the saying goes mom knows best.

I smooth out my tan slacks and button the top of my jade green blouse, walking into the Ice Skating Rink for my interview. As I enter I’m greeted with a plethora of hellos and good afternoons from the parents waiting for their children to go onto the ice. I see to my left and right a sitting area, most of the kids are in their long sleeved shirts either playing with one another or on a tablet.

I look straight ahead from the front door I see the ice rink, a coltish young brunette haired woman shouts out to the kids that were currently on the ice. All the girls huddle around to watch as she brings her right hand around her body; her arms moving slowly. “Ok girls now we are going to bring our right hand around and start slowly skating backwards”

I then get interrupted by my name being called. “Yesenia Cervantes?”

Not knowing where the sound came from I turn my head to my right, I don’t see anything but a coffee stand. When I turn to my left, in the farther left hand side of the room I see an elderly woman. Looking to be late 60’s her dainty body walks over to me, giving me a grin. I put my hand out to shake hers, “I called earlier asking about any volunteer opportunities and a lady named Harlow on the phone said I should come in person to speak with someone”

I can see everyone turning to look at me, the mothers in the lobby whisper to themselves, probably wondering how a woman of my ethnicity can skate on the ice. She motions me with her hands to follow her in the clear glass office space. “Well that’s my assistant but she’s not in right now but I'm happy you stopped by...I'm Daisy”

After we got settled into our seats, I quickly put my phone on silent. Ms. Daisy is sitting in the cherry red office chair reading my references out loud, she pauses when she gets to my education. She purses her lips, “So what college?” she asks as she reaches on her desk for her reading glasses, placing them on her face.

I proudly say, “University Of Wisconsin-Madison...Junior”

She nods while placing my information down she grabs a manila folder from her filing cabinet, licking her finger to separate the pages sitting back down. “Ok, well I'm just going to ask you a few questions-”

We both get interrupted by a freckled face red head child, her hair in a really neat bun. She runs to the desk where me and the older woman sat, placing her arms around the woman. “Ms. Daisy!!”

Ms. Daisy’s eyes light up when she sees the tiny human cling onto her scrawny limb.“Oh hey Adalynn!! How are you doing today?”

The young child with 2 teeth missing on the bottom row of her mouth showed a toothy grin. “I doing spec….spec-”

I finish her sentence, “Spectacular?”

Adalynn and her beautiful tawny brown eyes had to suppress the anger she had with a huff, her tiny lips form a pout as she points her index finger at me. “She wouldn’t let me finish but that’s what I was gonna say”

Again we were interrupted by an elderly woman, her jet black hair was slicked back into a tight bun just like the little girl who ran in here 3 minutes ago. Unbidden, her gaze rose to the scene before her, staring at me. Her face contorted into a mask of hatred as her lips formed a straight line. She slowly shifts her eyes glaring at Adalynn, “Adalynn you know you shouldn't be going in people's offices unannounced...oh I'm sorry were we interrupting something?”

“Well I'm with a potential volunteer” I explained.

“Oh you skate?” She questions, raising her eyebrow. Bending down to Adalynn’s level she whispers something in her ear. Whatever it was; she must’ve been wanting to punish the child because a few seconds later Adalynn was away from Ms. Daisy and her desk.

I nod my head, straightening up in my seat. “Yes ma’am I do”

Ms. Daisy then interrupts, “How many years?”

“4” I reply back, I think about all of the medals I have won over the years of skating. My mother taught me to love the ice when I was a little girl, I would spend hours outside. I would be standing at the bus stop waiting for the school bus when me and a couple of the other kids would use our shoes as ice skates just sliding around on the street. She spent her whole paycheck just to get me ice skates, it was because of her pushing me to do something I loved; I continued to pursue it throughout the years.

“Oh...wow that's a long time” Natasia stammered, blinking a few times and giving me a forced smile. She reaches for the child’s hand; once their hands were connected, her feet turn to the exit bringing Adalynn with her. “Come Adalynn we need to get you stretched and ready for your lesson”

Adalynn, who was currently trying to keep up with the pace of her grandmother turns her head and waves at Ms. Daisy. “Bye!!”

Ms. Daisy stands up and walks back over to the office door closing it, while walking back to her desk she shakes her head. Her eyes closed briefly as she whispers something to herself. She then looks in my direction. “Sorry we were interrupted….so you said 4 years?”

I nod “Yes that’s right”

“So about your previous experience…”

My mind goes elsewhere as I bite the inside of my cheek hoping this interview would soon be over but I could tell she was just getting started. I look up at the clock as I see the minute hand moving slowly around the case and past the various numbers.

This is going to be a long interview.

¤ ¤ ¤

Walking past the various buildings where all of the current students at UW were attending, I venture on to the common grounds of my campus. Spotting my group of friends who were currently stuffing their faces with the food from the cafe. The cold crisp air fills my lungs as I walk over to them.

Henry with his cigarette resting on his ear was going on one of his rants as usual, I give him a nod as I walk up to them taking a seat next to Nova. “Hanging out is dating, that's what dating is now”

My other friend Obasi chuckles, his eyes green like an emerald peered over at Nova. “Dating is sweat palms, hot thighs”

Violet who was currently eating a chicken salad, rolls her eyes at the two men. “You guys are crazy”

Henry continues “Couples are a dead concept, all meaningful social interactions are meaningful in a group” While fishing in his pocket for his lighter, Nova stood up grabbing it off the the icy ground where it lay for probably the whole time they were out here. She uses her thumb to roll the metal spark wheel; a flame rises up from the black lighter.

“Your always dropping that damn thing” She grumbles.

Kissing his teeth he grabs the cigarette behind his ear, putting the piece of tobacco up close to the flame. “Yesenia you think this is a date?”

I chuckle, seeing there was no money in my wallet I look over at the cafe and turn back around to face him. “You paying for my lunch?”

Exhaling the smoke he winks, placing his right hand on my thigh. “I don't know….am I gonna score later?”

I start to laugh out loud while pushing his hands which were covered in paint away from my leg. “What? This is only our first date!”

With the snow cleared from the sidewalk thanks to the city of Madison. Wesley and his hover board came rushing in, he was coming pretty fast and he lost his balance, his books/papers flew everywhere. After laying in the snow laughing at himself he jumps up, his knees now wet with snow from the fall. Nova and I help gather all of his papers as he grabs peanut butter crackers from an picnic table which happens to be near us, tearing the snack open he stuffs 2 crackers in his mouth, “Don't you just love college...free friends...free food, hell you even get a bed and all you have to do is go to a couple of classes and do some papers”

Violet while chipping at her nail polish gives Wesley a thumbs up, “It looks like your financial aid went through”

Giving Obasi a high-five he grabs his books from off the ground and sets them on table. “Damn right it did, full-ride baby”

This caught my attention, I never got a letter in mail about anything dealing with my financial aid yet. “Wait did everyone get theirs?”

I notice everyone’s eyes are on me, they all look dumbfounded by my comment, Nova speaks up, “Of course...papers went out like 2 weeks ago”

I let out a huff while reaching in my bag to get my phone out I start to text my mom to find out if there was anything in the mail for me. “What?”

Placing my free hand on my forehead I tuck my hair behind my ear, pinching my eyes shut. I know I filled the application out 1 month ago, I then start to get irritated with that fact that my mother wasn't replying fast enough. I go to my student email account not seeing any new messages I decide to find out what happening for myself. I know the financial office is still open, I tell everyone a quick goodbye when I sprint towards the building.

Once inside I’m met with a student who was working at the front desk, she told me to fill out the sign in sheet and wait for my name to be called. It was a numerous amount of people sitting or standing in the waiting room to also be called. I see a woman who looks middle aged, carrying a small infant in her lap. I smile at the tiny human, admiring its hazel eyes; the child babbles at me while reaching its hand out.

After about a hour of waiting and the room is damn near empty I hear my name be called. Looking up I see my financial adviser, we walk to his office and when he shuts the door he explains to me about how his office never received my application.

I place both hands on the desk gripping the sides while glaring down at him, “You can't just stop my aid, I'm graduating next year!”

“I'm sorry-”

I slam my hands on the desk, “You need to give me my money!! I'm not going to just sit here and let this happen to me just because some stupid idiot lost my application”

Shaking his head does his best to calm me down, grabbing me a water bottle from his mini fridge. Turning around to his filing cabinet he looks for my name but doesn't see anything, As he turns back around and faces me, his mouth curves into a frown. “Listen Yesenia I'm sure this will all work out the way it should...there must be some other way that you can pay for school”

I scoff taking a deep breath in and back out, taking my phone back out I start to check my messages I say lowly to myself, “Yeah right….only a miracle could make that happen.”

¤ ¤ ¤

I was placing the acrylic fake nail on my middle finger when I hear running from the outside of my dorm room door. I hear the little beep that occurs when someone is coming in. My hair in a messy ponytail I could feel a few tendrils that don't want to stay put fall onto my shoulders.

“I got a 911, girl what is going on?” Nova came running towards me, the her ROTC uniform still on.

I continued to press the fake nail on top of mine, with a frown etched on my face. “I might not be here for graduation”

Nova who took off her cover placing it on her side of the room walks back over to me, resting her chin on my head she asks, “What? Why?”

“My financial aid didn't kick in” I look up at her, almost on the verge of tears. “Now I have no idea how to pay for school”

“Eggs” Nova answered bluntly.

I take my right hand wiping away a non-existent tear, I sniffle a little before repeating what she just said to me. “Eggs?”

She nods taking her hand and placing it near my stomach, motioning around my lower half, “Yes like your eggs”

Now I understand what she’s talking about but I thought that was just myth. I press the acrylic nail hard on my nail making sure it's secure, I turn around in my swivel chair away from my desk. Quipped a brow as I look up at Nova, “People pay money for other people's eggs?”

Nova, stepping back from me; grips the edge of the chair rolling her neck replies, “Hell yeah…do you know how many people want babies?”

“So you basically sold kids?”

“Yesenia it's not human trafficking, they are just eggs” She continues. “The money is good plus the feeling you get after looking at the parents faces well that's even better

“Do you know a place?” I ask, I start to paint my nails.

“Yeah I do, but you could also do the other thing…” She trails off while walking into our bathroom I see her grabbing a few makeup remover wipes.

That grabs my attention,“What other thing?”

“Surrogacy”

I turn up my nose, “Like carrying someone else's baby?”

Nova walking out the bathroom changing out of her uniform, “You make more money doing that.”

I mumble while placing the nail polish brush back into the bottle, “I'll think about it”

Nova turns to me, “But if you want to know the place is called Gifting Miracles”

“Thanks” I rise up from the chair, my wet nail polish still on my hands I give Nova a quick air hug.

Rubbing my arm she offered a radiant smile, “Hey you know I got you girl”

Maybe carrying a baby wouldn't be so bad.

A/N: I know this was a really long first chapter but I just wanted this first chapter to be very informative on my different characters. I don’t exactly know when the next chapter of this will be up but I appreciate if ya’ll would be patient with me. Also Happy New year my lovely angels!!! I know 2019 will be filled with happiness and more opportunities coming your way!

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thespianbooks · 4 years

Text

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 9//

(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four) (Chapter five) (Chapter six) (Chapter seven) (Chapter eight) (Chapter nine) (Chapter ten)

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd. Let me know if you would like to be added!)

A week was all Azriel needed to gather the information we hoped wasn’t true. However, after the first few days, the spymaster realized he would have to gather intel on those closest to Keir without arousing suspicion. When low-level sentries turned up without any knowledge, Azriel moved onto interrogating the stewards' personal army of Darkbringers. Together, he, Cassian and Rhys were able to interrogate the captain of Keir’s army—Rhys wiping his memory clean after every session. He hated to do it, but after gathering details of Keir’s plan and his alliance with Kallon, he knew it was necessary.

There was indeed a coup rising against the Court of Dreams.

We filled Mor and Amren in immediately after Azriel broke the news to us, but decided it was best to leave my sisters unaware—for now. Nesta was finally in a good, albeit still cold, place after the war that took place a decade ago and Elain was also finally returning to her normal self; who she used to be before being forcefully made. My sisters were healing, and the last thing I wanted was to reopen their old wounds by revealing that their lives were once again at risk. Nesta, as observant as ever, knew something was amiss but thankfully didn’t press for any information. For now, and until we had a set plan, we could leave them in the dark.

I did my best to hide my worries in front of them, instead allowing Elain to fuss over me and the baby while Rhys and his brothers gathered intel. With all the anxiety of the coup keeping me on edge, I hardly noticed that my previous symptoms weren’t affecting me as they had before. Granted, I was still so fatigued that I slept in until noon and my nausea still plagued me from time to time; at least I was finally starting to feel some relief, which reassured everyone—especially Elain. Now that I was feeling better, she began begging to help plan the nursery. Years ago, before the completion of the construction on the estate, she asked what we should do for the room attached to mine and Rhys’s suite. I originally wanted that room to be our nursery, but at the time I decided to make it into a sitting room. Knowing that an empty nursery sat just beyond the double-doors in my suite was too painful at the time. So, in the meantime, I wanted to make some kind of use for it; despite Rhys and I hardly ever even using it anyway.

After telling Elain where I wanted the nursery, she focused all of her energy into creating the perfect space for the baby. While the Illyrians focused on gathering the information from the Court of Nightmares, I did my best to shift my attention back onto my pregnancy. At first, I went with Rhys to Hewn City to be present for the interrogations with the captain of the Darkbringers, but we hadn’t taken into account the effect winnowing would have on me during my condition. With my powers being so drained, I couldn’t do it myself, so Rhys had winnowed us in. Upon arrival, I had nearly fainted in my mates’ arms. Alarmed, he winnowed us back to Velaris, causing me to actually faint. Once I regained consciousness, a guilt-ridden Madja was there and informed us of that unfortunate side-effect she forgot to mention at our previous appointments. In her defense, said side-effect didn’t usually develop until later in pregnancy, but thanks to my tendency towards extreme fatigue, it developed sooner. There was no explanation as to why winnowing was so taxing on a pregnant female, but Madja theorized that whatever magic it originated from was the culprit.

We decided then that he would go with Cassian to Azriel’s interrogations of the Captain, and once they had the information we needed, we would schedule our official visit to Hewn City. Fortunately, Madja explained that as long as I gave myself at least an hour rest between winnowing—including some recovery time after the initial trip, that it would be safe. A part of me was grateful that I didn’t have to be there for the interrogations, because after every session Rhys returned physically and mentally drained. Even as he recounted every detail to me, I couldn’t imagine the burden and the guilt weighing on his shoulders. The Night Court was his home for centuries; he made many painful sacrifices for the sake of his people. While he did his best to separate himself from the Hewn City, they were still his people; still his court and his ancestors' court. As High Lady for over a decade, it hurt deeply to imagine the threat of a civil war, especially for the innocents here in Velaris. As High Lord for as long as Rhysand was, I knew the pain was worse for him.

“You don’t have to do this every night you know,” Rhys drawled quietly from his place in the tub, summoning me back from my thoughts.

He was leaning on the edge with his chin resting over his crossed arms while I gently scrubbed at his delicately powerful wings. I smiled at his comment, continuing to clean the dirt and debris off his wings. After the first few days of seeing how drained my mate was, I took it upon myself to spoil him with a hot bath—together, to unwind while I cleaned him.

“You won’t let me do anything else since I got pregnant, the least I can do is take care of you,” I replied, dabbing at the other wing with a soft washcloth.

“That’s precisely why. You’re pregnant, and it should be me cleaning you,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m not the one doing all the heavy lifting.”

“I beg to differ,” he said as he glanced at my belly, still a small swollen mound.

I tried not to smile. “Your son isn’t that heavy, yet. I’m growing a baby, but you’re,” I paused, not wanting to bring up the ugly business of the day during the time I dedicated just for us. “Doing everything else…”

He was quiet until I finished cleaning his wing and turned to face me before cupping my face in his. “You’re working just as hard as I am Feyre, on top of being pregnant,” he said.

I gripped his wrist lightly, “I know that, but just like you’re taking care of me, I want to take care of you too. This time is for me just as much as it is for you.”

His smile was crooked as he responded, “Fair enough.”

I returned his smile and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. We stayed silent for the duration for our bath, not wanting to disturb our peace, but as soon as we were back in our bedroom, I couldn’t resist bringing up our upcoming plans for our visit to the Court of Nightmares.

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” I asked as I pulled out a light nightgown from my dresser.

Rhys sighed, “After lunch. Cassian and Az want to go over the reports and statements from Keir’s general. We’re trying to piece together a timeline, and Azriel will go alone to finalize details with him while we’re at court.”

I nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed after slipping on my nightgown. Now that we had most of the information we needed, tomorrow we would travel to the Hewn City and announce my pregnancy. This would be our way of reminding Keir who he served and would continue to serve. We’d solidify our reign by furthering Rhys’s lineage.

I watched as he dried himself off and changed into his own night clothes, a simple pair of black shorts, and smiled as I imagined what our son might look like at his father’s age. Would the image the Bone Carver gave me continue to evolve to resemble Rhys? Would he have some semblance of me as well? Regardless, I dreamed of him growing to look and act like his father. But the thought of my son one day being High Lord, of having to put on the same cruel façade as the rest of us, made my heart clench and Rhys noticed it in my face. He perched on the space in front of me and gingerly placed both hands on my ever-swelling stomach.

“We’ll teach him well. After all, you had a pretty good teacher, if I do say so myself,” he said with a smug grin.

I rolled my eyes, “Maybe he’ll inherit my humility, because you’re hopeless.”

Rhys threw his head back with a bark of laughter before taking hold of my face to capture my lips in a deep kiss. He held me there for a few seconds, resting his forehead against mine.

“We won’t expose him to the Court of Nightmares until he’s ready and comfortable with it. I won’t put any pressure on him, I promise,” Rhys reassured.

“I know you won’t,” I sighed. “I just...can’t picture that yet. I think.”

“Well we haven’t officially met him,” Rhys said with a smirk. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”

I nodded and looked down at my stomach. “For now, I guess you have no choice but to be part of the act, but daddy will make it up to you,” I said with a smile and looked back up at Rhys, who had visibly stiffened at the new word I referred to him as.

He mouthed the word silently as I grinned and brought his hands back to my stomach, “That’s what he’s going to call you, you know.”

He nodded, matching my grin with a wicked one and wiggled his eyebrow, “I wouldn’t be opposed to you calling me that once in a while either.”

I laughed as I shoved him away, his laughter matching my own as he tackled me onto the bed.

Rhys and I stood alone at the gates outside the throne room in the Hewn City; Mor, Cassian, and Azriel already inside waiting for us at the base of the dais. They had gathered all the citizens of the city inside, on the order that their Lord and Lady were making a notable appearance today. I stared at the dark, cruel, scaled beasts carved on either pillar and ran my hands over the gentle swell of my belly. While getting ready this morning, Rhys pulled out a delicately midnight blue, floor-length, long sleeved gown fashioned of tiny sparkling crystals made to resemble lace. I nearly sobbed when my mate revealed that it was a maternity gown his mother made for me.

The impossibly soft fabric hugged my every curve, the patterned lace forming a deep ‘V’ shape over my breasts and opened in the back, allowing my tattoos to be on display. The sleeves capped at my wrists, the lace blending perfectly with the tattoos on both arms. More importantly, the gown hung over the prominence of my stomach; accentuating it enough to send our message without words. The High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court were expecting.

A dangerous announcement to make so early in my pregnancy, but a necessary one thanks to the current looming threat. While we initially feared it would enable Keir to push his and Kallon’s plans into motion sooner than we hoped, now we had our timeline and knew what to expect.

“Ready to be wicked?” Rhys purred as he rested a hand on the small of my back, jolting me from my thoughts.

Glancing again at the beautifully dark and brutal carved beasts on the gates, I nodded with a smirk and turned to him. “Let’s go.”

Both straightening to our full height, Rhys moved his hand to hold mine up as he escorted me into the throne room as the gates groaned open to reveal us to our court. The gathering crowd grew eerily quiet as Rhys and I ascended across the dark marble floor. Then the gasps came as they slowly, one by one, took notice of my stomach.

Though my shoulders were already squared, I tilted my chin up a little higher as the new weight of their observations fell over me. Over the decade I had gotten used to their stares, their murmurings, every time Rhys and I visited. This time was different. A pregnant female was rare and seeing as it had been centuries since a child was born into the ruling family of the Night Court, their gaze almost felt...scandalous. My façade remained as solid as ever as Rhys escorted me to our twin thrones, the crowd ceasing any whispers of my condition as we turned to face them. I sat first, but Rhys remained standing as his eyes met with Keir’s. The male stiffened the second he saw my belly and by the murderous look on Mor’s face, standing at the foot of the dais with the two Illyrians flanking her sides, he must have revealed his immediate disgust.

I could feel Rhys’s front cracking a bit, his dark powers slowly filling the room with shadows as he stared down the steward—who, thankfully, wasn’t sneering this time as he stared back.

“Bow,” was all Rhys said, struggling with the effort to reign in his overprotective instincts from misting Keir on the spot.

While the crowd moved immediately at his order, Keir did so reluctantly, Mor’s mother at his side and following his lead. I sent a gentle wave of my power down the bond in an effort to calm my mate. Don’t let him get to you.

He didn’t respond, instead tightening up his veneer, shadows dissipating, and sat in his throne before waving an idle hand to the court. “Rise,” he commanded.

The crowd moved together as one, and he waved a hand nonchalantly in dismissal; allowing them to return to their business. Keir dismissed his wife and remained across from us before clearing his throat. “I see congratulations are in order,” he commented, his sneer returning as his eyes shifted from our faces to my stomach.

I couldn’t help the protective hand I placed over it, wanting desperately to shield my child, but I instead moved my hand to the top—just below my bust line, emphasizing it more.

“Indeed, though you don’t actually mean it, do you?” Mor drawled, her voice and face fiercely calm.

Keir ignored his daughter and returned his gaze to Rhys, apparently choosing to outright ignore my presence as well, “I take it this means your lineage will pass onto the child?”

“Did you not expect my mate and I to produce any offspring? That I would simply pass my crown onto someone who wasn’t of my blood?” Rhys replied, keeping his stare dark.

Keir shifted on his feet, “I was always under the impression that a powerful High Lord such as yourself would choose not to procreate, why create any direct competition to your rule? Just take a look at the Autumn Court; so many sons all vying for the same throne by any means necessary, including murder.”

His words dripped with disdain, his insinuations mocking. “And yet you chose to try and secure an alliance with the court you warn us of now. From the look of it, you rather idolize the idea of a son overthrowing his father, or vice versa.” I replied, my tone as icy as my mask.

Keir’s shoulders stiffened at my words, his formidable gaze meeting mine. Through the bond, I could feel Rhys’s dark shadows creeping in the corners of the room. Mor and Cassian watched us, their stares deadly and ready to intervene. Azriel was already gone to attend to his mission while we remained.

The steward tilted his head forward in a slight bow, finally acknowledging me. “I would never presume such a thing, milady. As always, I am at your service,” he said, his voice tight.

It took all of my strength not to scoff at his words or snap his neck. Instead, I slowly stood from my throne, leaving my hand on the curved apex of my belly. “My son will inherit this very throne. And if neither I nor my mate grow weary of your existence by then, you will serve him as well.”

“I’m sure your son will rule just as sufficiently, my lady.” He bit back.

The aura in the room shifted as Rhys’s dark shadows were overpowered by my own. I blasted out dark talons of my power and sank them into Keir’s mind, painfully seizing him in place as I took a slow step onto the foot of the dais just a few feet away from Mor and Cassian, who now held their breaths as they watched me. Rhys remained in his throne, his own dark power emanating with mine as I felt a silent nod of approval down the bond.

My heart pounded in my chest from the effort of my display of power, and I felt my knees shake a bit as I continued staring at Keir with an icy smile. “My son will be more than sufficient; I promise you that. As you said, he's the son of a very powerful High Lord. I should also remind you of the power of your High Lady. With the combined powers of all the High Lords in Prythian, including your High Lord, just imagine what his powers would be like? Won’t that be a magnificent sight to behold?”

I tightened my grip on him, and he did his best not to cringe in pain as he managed to hiss, “Yes, milady.”

My power slipped from him immediately as I was unable to hold on, my forehead gleaming with sweat, and it took me a few silent deep breaths before I smiled cruelly. “That’s good to hear.”

Rhys was at my side in a second as my knees trembled again. The exertion it took to intimidate Keir was draining, much more than I had anticipated. I was grateful for my floor length gown hiding my trembling legs as Rhys perched his hand on the small of my back.

Are you okay?

Yes, I just need to sit down. I reassured.

We’re leaving now, don’t worry

Keir was catching his own breath as he stared us down. As much as I didn’t want to reveal any weakness, neither did he. After a minute, he straightened again and tilted his head towards Rhys in a bow. “Is that all you needed milord? Your visit was last minute, and I was in the midst of gathering your reports.”

Azriel had showed up only seconds prior to Keir speaking, giving a silent nod to me and Rhys, indicating he gathered the last of the intel we needed. Rhys waved an idle hand at Keir, “The High Lady and I wanted to share our news and be on our way. Go. Continue to serve me as you have,” he said as he began escorting me back towards the gated doors, Mor, Cassian, and Azriel trailing behind us.

We stopped before stepping into the frame, looking back over his shoulder at Keir--who remained at his same spot before our thrones. “Unless, of course, we grow tired of your existence,” he drawled before we continued out the doors.

The minute we were out of view of him, and the rest of the court patrons, he scooped me up into his arms and flew us into the palace above the mountains, the others right behind us. Amren was waiting in the open hall, seated on a settee, but popped up immediately when she took in my pale features.

“What happened?” She asked, but Rhys ignored her, sitting me gingerly on the settee and kneeling before me to check over my condition.

“I’m fine,” I reassured him and the others as they gathered around me, the jasmine scented breeze already doing wonders to soothe my tired body as I breathed deeply. “That took a lot more effort than it used to, that’s all.”

Mor sighed in relief before grinning smugly, “You did a damn fine job though, the look on his face was priceless.” she boasted.

Cassian crossed his arms over his chest, “I have to admit, you even intimidated me a little bit.”

I smiled tiredly as Rhys stood, facing them. “It intimidated him for now. Maybe that’ll be enough to stumble his plans with Kallon for a while. That alliance explains why he’s been more and more arrogant these past years, but our news of the baby today threw a wrench in their plans. A temporary one at least.”

“Did you get everything you needed?” I asked Azriel.

Everyone turned to the shadowsinger, who nodded. “I went over our timeline with the general, he confirmed the details, but revealed one more possible player.”

We all paused, and Rhys frowned, “Another alliance?”

Azriel nodded, causing Cassian and Mor to curse. Amren crossed her arms, “Let me guess. Beron?”

He nodded again, and Rhys cursed as I sighed. “He really wants that damn alliance with Beron, doesn’t he?” I asked.

“Did the general know what Beron’s role in all this is?” Rhys asked.

Azriel shook his head, “He only knew that they’ve been exchanging letters. No one seems to know what the letters say, or any other context, but it's rumored that it has to do with the coup.”

“We need to keep interrogating the general,” Cassian said. “He’ll find out eventually, and we need him to keep relaying information.”

Rhys nodded in agreement. “I’ll keep my grip on his mind, making sure he forgets but also start leading him to inquire about the letters.”

“I can get one of my spies to keep tabs on Keir,” Azriel insisted, but Rhys shook his head.

“This is a better way in. We can’t let Keir know we’re onto him. We already have your spies trailing Kallon and monitoring the camps in the mountains. Kallon thinks it’s part of our normal rotation. If Keir notices the same presence, he’ll connect the dots.” He explained.

Azriel and Cassian nodded in agreement. “So, what do we do now?” I asked, and one by one everyone took notice of my hand idly caressing my stomach.

Now that the Court of Nightmares knew of my pregnancy, word would spread quickly over the entire Night Court, including the Illyrians. Those behind this rising coup would find a way to regroup and create some new plan of action, that was guaranteed. The news of a potential new alliance with another court meant that their numbers were even greater now. My eyes met with Rhys’s as we both realized at the same time what our next move was.

“We need to call on our friends for an early summit meeting.”

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