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doing Artfight again, I'm team Bloom!

Hit

For the many people who requested #12. Finally a long one I’ve slowly been working on forever.

12- I feel sick, so anxious and sick and like my heart is trying to beat it’s way out of my chest

TW- slight panic attack, blood, injury, hurt

“This better be a good game” Logan said as he tossed popcorn into his mouth.

“It obviously will be. It’s the Snakes.” Kacey shook his head and looked at him like he was stupid.

“Everyone shut up it’s on” Talker shushed them, even though they all knew they would start talking about the game in a matter of seconds.

“Are you going to be okay watching this?” Remus whispered to Sirius.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine, amour” Sirius smiled at him. Regulus and the Snakes had been taking jabs at Sirius and the Lions every chance they got.

Remus nodded and cut into the argument between James and Olli.

***

Everyone was on the edge of their seats watching the game intensely. It was a gruesome game, both teams hitting hard. The game was tied 2-2.

Sirius was beside Remus, elbow on his leg, one of them bouncing. He had his hand in a fist in front of his mouth. Remus was rubbing his neck lightly.

Everyone reacted as a fight broke out, all the players on the ice joined in. It took the refs a few minutes to separate them.

When everyone was out of the pile of players. There was still someone laying on the ice. Sirius sucked in a breath. Regulus. Refs surrounded him, waving over medics.

No one was able to see what exactly was wrong or what had happened, but they could tell that it was bad.

The medics were too frantic for it to be a simple knock out. And the blood, there was so much. Too much. It cut to commercial as the audience started screaming.

“Oh god” Sirius gasped and stood up, hurrying up the stairs. Remus followed him up.

“Hey, can you open the door please. It’s just me” He asked quietly as he knocked.

“Sirius come on” he said again when there was no response. He could hear Sirius pacing. The footsteps got closer and clicked the lock open.

“Hey, come here” Remus said softly, stopping Sirius’s pacing and letting him fall into his arms.

“I don’t know why it’s scaring me. He doesn’t care about me so why do I care about-“

“Stop, stop.” Remus said firmly.

“He’s your little brother. You’re allowed to care about him.”

“He’s going to be okay, right? You’re kind of like a medic. You saw the hit, do you know if he’s going to be okay?” Sirius looked at him, his eyes hopeful and scared.

“I don’t-I don’t know, okay?” Sirius deflates. “I couldn’t see it really, there was a lot of blood but you couldn’t see where it was from. Some injuries bleed more than others do.” Remus tried to comfort his shaking boyfriend.

But he really didn’t know. From what he saw it was bad, really, really bad. He wasn’t going to tell Sirius that right now, maybe later but right now he didn’t want to stress him out more.

Sirius pulled back and wiped his eyes minutes later “We should go back down, they might talk about how he is.”

“Are you sure? We can watch up here if you don’t want to be around everyone.” Remus asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be okay.” Sirius nodded.

The team didn’t stare for too long when they walked back down. Just a glance and then back to the TV, even though it was a stupid commercial. Remus laid in the spot they were in before, this time pulling Sirius onto him. He kissed the top of his head and tucked it under his chin, fingers running through the slightly curly hair.

“Commercials have been playing since the hit” James told them.

Sirius tensed slightly, that couldn’t be good. Yeah commercials were long but not that long. After a few more commercials it cut back to the announcers.

“Welcome back folks” they said somberly. “As you saw, Regulus Black took a hard hit in the middle of a fight. Now the next few clips might be a little gruesome so viewer discretion is advised.”

That couldn’t be good.

The screen showed the fight, Regulus shaking over and trying to separate them, unlike his teammates who were egging it on. He was shouting something that couldn’t be heard before a hand hit across his helmet, knocking him to the ground. They showed the bottom half of the fight, clump of skates and padding. Regulus was obvious in his green jersey, caught in the cross fire of skates.

Sirius turned his face into Remus’s neck, unable to watch anymore.

Remus rubbed his back, trying to sooth him.

He couldn’t see much of what was happening before the fight was broken up, and you were able to tell where the blood was coming from. His arm, but apparently it was too gruesome to show on TV, it was blurred out.

“Hey, it’s his arm, okay? It’s just his arm.” Remus whispered.

“How bad?” He asked, his voice gravely and tight.

“I don’t- I don’t know. They, uhh, they blurred it out”

Sirius tensed even more, just nodded and kept his head buried safely in Remus’s neck. Letting it act as a barrier between the things he was scared to know and the comforting smell and feeling of his boyfriend.

The team glanced at them sadly, Lily reached over and patted Remus’s thigh. He smiled sadly at her.

“Are they continuing the game?” Sirius asked, lifting his head the slightest bit. His voice still tight.

“Yeah, I think so” Dumo answered.

Right on cue the game started up again. The ice was cleaned as well as it could be for right now. A section of ice stained red.

The rest of the game was quick, the Snakes didn’t slow down even when the Flyers did. They won 4-2.

At the end of the game they gave an update on Regulus. He was at the hospital, in surgery, in extremely critical condition.

Sirius clung to Remus, his fist clenching Remus’s shirt as he shook his head as if it would get the words out of his mind.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m sure he’s going to be okay” Remus tried hard to comfort him. But he wasn’t listening. A broken sob escaped, breaking everyone’s hearts.

The team trickled out until it was just Sirius and Remus.

“Do you want to go up to bed love?” Remus asked, getting a nod in response as he sat up and walked upstairs.

Remus helped him change out of the black jeans and t-shirt he was wearing into sweatpants.

“I love you” he kissed him softly, holding him against his body.

“I love you too” Sirius muttered back.

They climbed into bed, the bedroom silent and swimming in darkness before Sirius spoke.

“What if he dies” his voice smaller than Remus had ever heard.

“He’s going to be okay. He is. But if he isn’t, you have me, the team, James, Harry. All of us. I don’t know what’s going to happen but you will always have us no matter what. I know it will hurt if it does happen, but I can’t have you going back to the way you were before. I need you to talk to me or the team or Heather or someone. You can’t bottle this up and have it shut you down.”

Sirius nodded “Okay” he whispered.

A sob escaped, Sirius covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stop any more.

“Don’t do that. It’s okay. It’s just me, you can let it out.”

Sirius flung himself onto Remus, sobbing.

Remus doesn’t know how long Sirius cried for, but finally he quieted, taking a hiccuped breath. “Love you” he managed to mutter before exhaustion pulled him under.

“I love you too” Remus kissed his hair, drifting off to sleep himself.

***

Sirius didn’t wake up till late into the day. Remus stayed in bed, only leaving to get something to eat. He wanted to be there for Sirius when the memories of last night came back.

Sirius stirred in his sleep, blinking his eyes open.

Remus put his laptop on the nightstand and brushed his fingers through Sirius’s slightly sweaty hair. “Good morning baby”

Sirius hummed before sitting up quickly. “Reg”

“I’ve been checking all day, there’s no update on him yet.”

“Is that good or bad” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know. But we would know if he was-“ Remus trailed off.

“Dead?” Sirius finished for him.

“Yeah” Remus sighed.

Sirius nodded and moved away from him.

“Hey, remember what I said last night? You can’t push us away. You can’t shut down again.”

“I know- I just. I feel sick, so anxious and sick and like my heart is trying to beat it’s way out of my chest.” He confessed.

“Baby” Remus breathed, pulling him into his chest. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Hold me” Sirius whispered.

Remus nodded and laid down, holding Sirius tight.

Sirius fell asleep again, still tired from staying up last night and crying for so long.

Remus’s phone vibrated while he was asleep. Remus reached over carefully and answered it without checking the caller ID.

“Remus” James voice came through. “Did you see the news”

Remus went to sit up but then remembered the sleeping boy in his arms.

“No, what happened.” He asked not even trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“Regulus is out of surgery” Remus let out a breath, his body relaxing.

“But the damage to his nerves was too bad. They- they had to amputate.”

Remus sucked in another breath. “God”

“Yeah. Is, umm, does he know?”

“No, he’s asleep right now. I’ll tell him when he wakes up.”

“D'accord. Give him our love”

“I will” Remus hung up as Sirius began to stir.

“Hey, who was on the phone?” He asked, still tired but his voice held worry.

“James, Umm.” Sirius tensed, his eyes wide with fear.

“No, no, no. He’s alive” Remus reassured him quickly.

Sirius relaxed a little.

“But they, uh, they had to amputate his arm”

Sirius sat up. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. But the nerve damage was too much. I haven’t read anything on it yet but that’s just what James told me.”

“Will he be able to play, if he gets a prosthetic, is that even allowed in the NHL”

“I don’t- I don’t know. He would still be able to play with a prosthetic but I don’t know about the NHL”

“Our parents...” he trailed off.

“I know, I’m sorry. What do you think they’ll do?”

“Disown him. If he can’t play anymore he’s no good to them”

Remus nodded.

Sirius’s phone was ringing and pinging with texts. “Probably the team” he muttered.

“Yeah, probably”

“I don’t- I don’t want to talk to them right now. I’ll talk later but not right now.”

Remus pecked his lips and reached over to turn his ringer off. “Umm, baby?”

“What?” Sirius looked up at him.

“Regulus is calling you.”

Sirius grabbed his phone out of Remus’s hands and quickly answered the phone. Putting it on speaker.

“I’m alive, chienne” A familiar voice announced.

“Jesus Reg, we haven’t spoken in years and that’s the first thing you say to me.” Sirius laughed, he moved around to the other side of the bed so he could rest his back against Remus’s chest as Remus leaned against the headboard. Remus kisses his neck and shoulder.

“Yeah. Umm, about that. I’m really, really sorry about... all of that. I-the Snakes, our parents. They’re awful. They wouldn’t let me talk to you or anyone. I had to say all that awful stuff about you. God I wanted to punch every damn player in the locker room for the shit they said about you. I, they just. I’m so sorry.” Regulus rushes out.

“Hey, it’s okay. I kind of figured. Or hoped at least.”

“I really want you to know that I don’t care that you’re gay. I don’t know if Remus is listening or there or whatever but you seem happier then I’ve ever seen you when you’re with him.”

“I am, I really, really am” Sirius smiled. “And yes he is listening.”

Regulus let out a laugh.

“So, how are you with...” Sirius trailed off.

“Loosing my arm and possibly ending my hockey career?”

“Yeah, that”

“I don’t know. Mom and Dad won’t talk to me. No one from the family will. Well, Andromeda called me but she was disowned so it doesn’t really count”

“Andy? Why was she disowned?”

“Married a girl” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Not surprising honestly. Good to know there’s more of me”

“True. Oh and get this, better prepare the puke. Sissy’s marrying Malfoy”

“WHAT” Sirius no less than screamed. “Narcissa?”

“Yep” he popped the ‘p’.

“No” Sirius whined. “I had hope for her.”

“So did I. But at least she doesn’t seem that happy about it. It’s more of a bloodline thing”

“I don’t want to be related to Lucius”

“Neither do I”

“What about Bellatrix?”

“Rudolph Lestrange.”

Sirius groaned again.

“What is up with the names in your family” Remus laughed quietly.

“Stars. All names of constellation.” Sirius explained.

“The Black family will be as old as the stars. Never let the bloodline down. Generations and generations of powerful leaders are in your blood. Traitors to the DNA are not true Blacks. Keep the stars alive, at all costs.” Regulus and Sirius said at the same time.

“What?”

“We said that like a prayer. Every night. What I would give to forget it” Sirius groaned. Remus kissed his cheek.

“Besides our fucked up family, how else are you feeling?” He asked, the playfulness leaving his voice.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s really set in yet but I’m getting fitted or whatever for a prosthetic as soon as my stitches are out. A bunch of high school students are working on a design I can use for hockey. They’re having some contest or something like that”

“That’s cool” Sirius told him. “NHL going to te laisse jouer” Sirius switched to french subconsciously.

“I don’t know yet. They’re having a meeting about it I think. The Snakes don’t want me anymore, they made that very clear.”

“I’m sorry”

“Oh no don’t be at all, I hate that fucking team anyway.” Regulus said quickly.

“I’m sure teams will be fighting over you” Sirius smiled.

“Maybe. But let’s not talk about it anymore, how are you?”

“I’m good. You fucking terrified me last night. God Reg I thought you were going to die.” Sirius breathed out shakily.

“I’m okay though. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah, yeah I know” Sirius nodded.

Remus held him tighter, pressing a kiss behind his ear as he remembered Sirius falling apart in his arms.

“How are you and Remus?”

“We’re really good. I love him and, yeah” Sirius blushes, playing with his necklace.

“Awww” Reg teased.

“Oh tais-toi”

Regulus laughed. “I’m not lying when I say I’m happy for you. Remus, just know that if I’ll hurt him I’ll kill you. Prosthetics are metal, tu sais”

“Stop it” Sirius scoffed.

“I promise I will never hurt him. I love him more than anything” Remus assured him, turning Sirius’s chin so he could kiss him.

“I love you too” Sirius told him.

“Awwww wittle Siri in wove”Regulus ruined the moment.

“Je te deteste” Sirius groaned.

“You love me” Regulus laughed.

“Sadly”

“Rude”

The brothers bantered back and forth like nothing had ever happened.

“Alright I’ve got to go get more needles poked into my skin but we’ll talk later, ouais?”

“Absolument”

“Bye, love you” Regulus said.

“Love you too” Sirius told him before Regulus hung up.

“I’m so fucking happy for you right now” Remus squeezed him tightly.

“Me too” Sirius smiled widely. “God I’m so happy”

Remus felt like crying, all he wanted was for Sirius to be happy in life and he finally was.

Sirius was crying, a tear fell down his cheek.

“Hey hey what’s wrong?” Remus picked him up and turned him so he was straddling his waist. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing. I- I never thought I could have this, you know. Never thought I would be allowed to love who I wanted, much less have someone who loved me back. I have the most supportive team I could ever hope for, they’re more of a family then my actual family is. Reg doesn’t hate me- never hated me. I never thought I would ever be able to have this” he confessed, tears slowly falling down his face.

Remus kissed them away. “And you deserve all of it. Everything you’ve been through, you deserve the world baby.”

“Good thing I have it” Sirius smiled as he cupped Remus’s face.

“God that was cheesy.” Remus scoffed with a smile.

“It was wasn’t it?” Sirius laughed, kissed Remus’s lips slowly. Safe in the feeling of his arms on his waist, hair tangled in his fingers, soft lips on his. It was him and it was home.

He was lost in the feeling of it before Remus pulled away. Resting their foreheads together.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Sirius whispered. “I want to adopt a couple of kids, let them run around the house and take them to family skate. I can’t imagine my future without you. I love you more than I can explain. Every time I think about how much I love you it’s like I can’t breath.”

“God, yes. I want that more than anything.” Remus captured his lips in his. Both of them smiling into the kiss.

@lumosinlove

Empress Theresa, Chapters 5-10

Once more, if you haven’t read the previous update of Chapters 3 and 4, I highly recommend you do. You can find that review here.  Disclaimer: This review will contain spoilers. I guess if you don’t want the book spoiled for you, don’t read the review until afterward.  This one is going to be a long one, so strap the fuck in, because it’s a wild ride. Chapters 5-10 aren’t nearly as painful as chapters 3 and 4 were to read. They were much easier, though more confusing. Or at least, all but one chapter weren’t painful. Chapters 5 and 6 were just a giant recap of everything that happened in chapters 3 and 4 and are essentially pointless to the entire book, I’ll still go over a few things that happened in them, but in general, they are completely and utterly pointless. Chapters 7 and 8 are where things start to get confusing, 9 is just painful, and 10 elicits more confusion. In fact, 10 is the most confusing chapter out of the entire bunch, but, I’ll start from the beginning and hopefully, things will clear up more as I recall and lay it out for you.  Chapters 5 and 6 As I said, these chapters are just a giant review of what happened in 3 and 4. It’s a waste of time except for small details that are recalled in the chapters. However, because I had to live through this pain, you’re going to live through it too. At the start of chapter 5, Theresa wakes up in the hospital. Nothing too exciting. She realizes that there are a lot of people in her room, including the Prime Minister of England, Peter Blair. Theresa grows incredibly frustrated because “All [she] wanted was a quiet life.” I find this hard to believe later on down the line, but alright. She finally starts talking after throwing her tantrum and Blair, or as Boutin likes to write ‘pm Blair’ because he fucking loves abbreviations, confirms that she has been ‘dead’ for two weeks. I’ll get into this in a minute, but for now, all I will say is that it is fucking stupid. Theresa and Blair have a bit more conversation and Theresa inquires if the media has been talking about her. Rather than summarizing it for you because that would be far more interesting than what I had to endure, I’m going to write it all out word for word, so please, do enjoy. (Italics are my own notes) “‘I’ll bet my secret is out.’ (Theresa) ‘It is.’ (Blair) ‘Terrific. Some maniac will kill me in a week. How did you get to me in time?’ ‘We didn’t. You’ve been dead for two weeks.’ ‘What? That can’t happen.’ ‘It did. A most remarkable story.’ ‘So I went through all that for nothing?’ (Did you fucking want to die?)  I was referring to my kidnapping and fall from the plane. (Anybody with two cents worth of brain cells could figure this out. You don’t need to write it out.) ‘I’m afraid so.’ Could my anonymity still be preserved? ‘I’ll bet there’s a lot of news stories about me.’ ‘About a million if you include all languages around the world. You are discussed continuously.’ No anonymity! ‘Anybody say anything bad about me?’ ‘No. I have seen nothing negative.’ ‘I knew I might become famous and kept myself squeaky clean.’ (Is that the only reason? That’s a stupid, stupid fucking reason to try and be a good person in that case. More than that, I thought you wanted to live a quiet life? Yet you were planning on becoming famous?) ‘People with problems can be interesting too.’ ‘Yeah, well, people with problems don’t change the world.’ (Pgs 74-75)” Aside from what I’ve already commented on and how boring this entire conversation is, I take serious issue with that last remark. Believe it or not, but people with problems do change the world. You can look up a list of people who have changed the world, and almost every single one of them has had controversy before or people found problems with them. I asked four different people and the answers I got were: Hitler, Jesus, and Alexander the Great. All of them changed the world, be it for better or for worse, and every single one of them had problems. So please, Boutin, I’d like to hear your examples of people who changed the world who didn’t have problems. I’m waiting. Moving along from this shitshow display of poor logic and bad writing, we get more bad writing! What a fun surprise! Boutin goes way too in-depth about medical machines and what they had used to try and revive her and watch her vitals. If you’ll recall, this book is supposed to be an autobiography written by Theresa. I don’t recall Theresa every studying medicine or anything medical, or even having the slightest interest in medical things. In fact, later on, Theresa says that she wanted to be a high school math teacher. I almost guarantee, most high school math teachers will not know what an ‘electroencephalograph’ is. I still don’t know what it is and Boutin explains what it is in the fucking book. It took a quick google search after realizing I still didn’t know what it was to realize that it reads the electrical signals in the brain. That is all you had to say Boutin if anything at all. Yet, like everything else in this stupid fucking book, you had to go and make it complicated to make yourself seem like you are smart. Blah, Blah, Blah, turns out Theresa is coated in blood. This isn’t explained until about half-way through chapter six. As would turn out, it coagulated shark’s blood because when she was floating in the sea, a bunch of sharks came to try and eat her. Except, every time the sharks got close to her floating, apparently dead, body, they would explode and the other sharks would feast on the dead one. This is attributed to HAL, which I guess at this point, only makes sense. Unsurprisingly enough, HAL is what kept Theresa alive as well. However, it isn’t what brought her back to life. What brought her back to life was the doctors in London, putting her in a room at 105 degrees (Fahrenheit, I assume. Because Celcius would be fucking disastrous). And as her body warmed up, she came back to life. Rather than the doctors trying to save her or doing anything at all to try and help her, they just stared and hoped that as she warmed up, she would be revived. Unshockingly, this worked. After being revived Blair takes Theresa out to see an enormous crowd of people who are holding signs, essentially just jerking off Theresa’s ever-growing ego more. One of the signs, however, reads ‘SAVE US’. Theresa inquires about this and pm Blair refuses to answer. Instead, he sends her to a hotel and has BBC put together a documentary for her compiling everything that happened during the two-week stint that Theresa was ‘dead’.  Here is when we find out that the way HAL decided to try and save Theresa from death, that somehow worked, is that he stopped the wind. Yes. HAL stopped the fucking wind to try and save Theresa in her massive fall out of a plane. For some reason, everyone accepts this as perfectly logical. How, in the ever-changing and ever-flourishing earth, is this fucking logical? I don’t even know how to get into why the reasoning on this is so bad but I’m going to try. First of all, it’s the acceleration and then the eventual impact with water that would have killed Theresa, not the wind. Theresa slamming into the water would have flattened both her and all those empty plastic coke bottles she shoved into her jumper to act as a life jacket. The surface tension would have killed her regardless if there was wind or not. The wind played absolutely no factor in speeding up or slowing down Theresa’s fall, and in fact, would have probably been better for her if it picked up and disturbed the surface of the water because it would have helped to break that surface tension before she hit. Not saying she would have survived, but she would have had a slightly better chance at survival. Before I have an aneurism, I’m going to move on. President Martin resigned in the middle of the night and left his V.P., Veronica Stinson to take over as President. He did this because he announced to the entire world that he had Theresa killed and why. Obviously, the world didn’t react well to this, especially after realizing that the wind had stopped. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that this was because of Theresa, but somehow they did. During the investigation of Theresa that happened shortly before Martin’s resignation, they found a file called MISSION IMPOSSIBLE in a file on Theresa’s account in the Boston College computer system. Don’t ask me what the file is about because I still have no fucking idea. I guess it’s a bunch of code to fuck knows what, but a whole bunch of mathematicians were brought in to try and decode it and none of them could.  Chapter 7 and 8 In these chapters, Theresa goes in front of the cameras with Prime Minister Blair and her ego gets jerked off more much to her delight. They go on and on about how amazing Theresa is and how she’s going to do great. These chapters are full of more bullshit and are overall annoying, but at the very least, they progress the story a bit more than the previous two. In chapter 7 Theresa explains what HAL is and why HAL transferred to her, and just like always, Boutin has absolutely impeccable logic. To put is as simply as I can, HAL transfers over to Theresa because, and she is dead convinced about this, despite HAL apparently having been in North America (Not Earth, North America) for “a hundred million years” he had never seen someone raking leaves before. As such, because HAL apparently thought that it was a new appendage, thus making this new create more complicated than the one he currently inhabited (the fox) it meant that it was obviously more complex and could help him to evolve more. By that logic, HAL, as soon as he sees an octopus, should leave Theresa for the octopus, but I guess not. We also find out why HAL isn’t sentient, and apparently, it’s because “He has no more brains than a jellyfish.” He doesn’t have brains despite the fact that he seems to have a constant and unchanging need to evolve and adapt new reflexes, thus urging him to move to more complex creates and recognizing when a creature is living and more complex. Theresa goes on with an overly long and complex description of just what HAL is, but I will sum it up for you as simply as I possibly can; HAL is made up of dark matter. He’s not an alien, he’s a remnant from the Big Bang and is constantly trying to evolve to keep its host alive and well. To fix this problem of the wind being stopped, Theresa suggests that they start a committee to come up with the best solution and people are both deeply displeased with her statement about what HAL is and her idea for a committee. Theresa isn’t happy that the people aren’t understanding her explanation either and says, “‘It’s their fault if they don’t get it’ I said to Nancy. ‘Everything has been explained. Nothing is understood.’ (Pg 126)” If people don’t understand your explanation, it’s not because they’re stupid, it’s because you did a poor job of explaining it. It is for this reason that I firmly believe Theresa would have never been able to make it as a math teacher, be she a teacher for high school or not. Aside from that, Theresa turns on the news, more specifically, “... the biggest international media circus of all: CNN (Pg 127).” CNN conducted an unofficial poll to see if people wanted Theresa to act with a committee or not and overwhelmingly, the answer is no.  The reasons vary as to why people are saying no, and because I can’t phrase them in a more eloquent manner than Boutin, who has the most beautiful writing I have ever had the absolute pleasure to read, I’ll let his own writing speak for itself and explain. “‘The committee will presumably meet with Theresa Hartley who is an American. Many nations will object. It’s not like the United Nations that meets in New York with no government presence. Theresa and the committee will be the government. With Hartley the most important member it will be an American government. That will be unacceptable to many (pgs 126-127).” Another reason offered up by the President of France, who claims “‘It is not practical. We are not talking of the United Nations where thousands of people are needed to do something. HAL can do something alone. This is power on a new level. A committee in control of HAL would be a target for every terrorist organization. I believe nobody will want to be on the committee. We would need to surround each member with an army (pg 128).’” No, you really wouldn’t need to surround every member with an army. I will also state now that nobody in their right or wrong mind, terrorist or not, would even think about killing Theresa at this very moment because as far as they all know if Theresa dies then they are all royally fucked in the ass without lube. Though Theresa quickly dissuades those fears of her death meaning the end of the world when she says that people can “‘...kill me if [they] want. HAL will just move to somebody else. It could be anybody. HAL wouldn’t know the difference between Joan of Arc and Adolf Hitler. You want to try your luck?’ (pg 129)” Wonderful job comparing Theresa to Hitler again, Boutin. You’ve absolutely outdone yourself this time around. I’m going to point out now, Theresa never has an assassin come after her in the next couple of chapters, so this threat of people or terrorists coming after her is utterly pointless and at best, it’s a complete and utter joke.   Also, I’d just like to point out that Boutin uses an outdated and potentially offensive term for ‘Muslim’, saying ‘Moslem’ instead when describing Middle Eastern countries. I’m not Muslim, so I can’t speak to the offensiveness of this, but it took a quick google search to verify that yes, one probably shouldn’t be using this word when writing. I would also like to point out that there are Muslim countries outside of the Middle East, and that Norman is more than just a little uncultured. Anyways, in chapter 8, to try and keep Theresa safe, they send her to live in a mansion in England owned by the Parker family. The Parker family reminds me of animated mannequin dolls who do nothing but stare at you without a word. The Parker family “won’t speak to [Theresa] unless [she] speak[s] first (pg 144).” The reason why they won’t do this is that “Every moment of [Theresa’s] time is the world’s treasure (pg 144).” Bullshit.  Theresa goes and meets the Parker family once Steve arrives at the house and none of them matter as far as I’m aware and hold no relevance to the story. If they come up again and for one reason or another hold any kind of purpose, I’ll mention who they are but for now, their presence in Empress Theresa is pointless. All they are good for is to give Theresa the house. Wonderful story writing abilities, Boutin. People start sending Theresa money because apparently, they’re so grateful to her and her attempts to start saving them that they feel as though they need to send her 6000+ letters and money. By the end of the second day, I think that they have over a million dollars, which is fucking nuts, but alright, I guess. Thersa also has absolutely no work ethic when she is working, which makes me absolutely concerned with how the fuck she managed to get straight A’s in school and in college. But to show you how terrible her work ethic is, let me lay it out for you in Boutin’s words. “As the week went on we settled into a routine. Three hours was about all I could take doing the intense work I was doing. So after working form 8 to 11 in the morning I’d take a walk around the estate with Steve. Then it was lunch. Then work from 1 to 4 in the afternoon and a couple of hours of reading or television before dinner. Finally, maybe an hour or two of work in the evening before the winding down to bedtime (pg 150-151).” Because you know, it’s not like the world is in peril and every day that you are working to try and save the world people are dying and being killed off for their supplies more likely than not. It isn’t like the world would logically be falling into a state of complete anarchy at knowing that their lives are in the hands of an 18-year-old who has absolutely no record of working and has no real-world experience, thus leading people to absolutely lose all hope in the system or at any chance of survival which would severe the social-contracts that bind us all and keep humanity from functioning in a state of nature, but it’s whatever, I guess. After all, we live in Boutin’s magical world now, where everybody is perfectly calm and nobody in the world is in a state of panic because the world is literally falling apart right before their eyes. Nobody has any mental disorders which this situation is only exacerbating and schizophrenia is only a convenient excuse as to why you don’t tell people about the insane shit that happens in your life. Anyways…  Chapter 9 This chapter is a fucking shit show and makes me want to burn the book before I finish it. I hated this chapter so much because it shows just how uncultured and entitled Norman Boutin is. He is the definition of an entitled North American, and what is supposed to come off as Boutin shitting on other countries only makes him look like a fucking idiot and it makes Theresa look like an absolute cunt. But, I’ll get into that in a moment. For now, let’s work our way to that point. At the beginning of this chapter, we see Theresa trying out different tasks to try and train HAL or get him to develop new reflexes. I have no idea what her end goal is here or what getting him to develop these new reflexes will do other than giving her a stupid as fuck skill. She does this in four different ways (keep in mind, this is supposed to be incredibly intense work that keeps her from working more than 3 hours at a time. Also please take note, I am writing this word for word and double-checking to make sure I haven’t left any errors on my part), “One was to slide a small coin between two glasses on a table. I’d place a coin next to one glass, leave it there a moment, then put my finger on it to slide it to the other glass. After doing this a few times, I’d place the coin at the first glass and wait a while to see if HAL would move it for me (pg 157.)” “The second thing I did was a takeoff on the throwing accuracy skill that HAL gave me. I tossed a coin in a small metal can a few feet away. Keeping my eyes on the can’s opening got the coin inside the can every time. Then I’d toss a coin with my eyes shut. Once in while the coin would go in the can by pure chance, but generally, it missed (pg 157).”  “The third thing I did was stand up and drop a coin on the floor besides the can while keeping my eyes on the can’s opening. If HAL got the idea he would move the coin into the can. I was not throwing the coin; I was dropping it. If HAL guided the coin to the can it was a new reflex using elements of an old one (pg 158).” “The fourth thing I did was entirely different. I suspended a one foot ruler on a piece of string. The string was attached to the end of a yardstick held in place with a book on top of a bookshelf. After steadying the foot ruler I pointed to its end for the moment to give HAL a chance, then I pushed the ruler’s end to make it rotate a hundred degrees or so. This maneuver had nothing to do with coins, or throwing, and would seem to require very little of HAL, just a tiny push (pg 158).”  Boo fucking hoo. Does Theresa need a little binky because she’s upset at how intense this work is and how hard it is? Does she need Steve to come in and start giving her an allowance because it’s more than obvious that this incredibly difficult job is taking a toll on her? I know throwing a coin can be so difficult for her, and the brainpower she’s exerting right now must be off the charts. It’s not like there are people who work 8 hours straight or 17 hours straight in a day only to get in total 2.5 hours work of break time, two of which aren’t even paid for or accounted for because it’s supposed to be ‘lunch’.  Anger and bitterness aside, HAL doesn’t respond to any of these (probably because they make no fucking sense) and after a couple of days of this with work and no progress for HAL’s part, Theresa decides that despite the fact that they’ve been there for three weeks, she needs a vacation. So where do they head? Paris. This is where I get angry, more so than I was before if you can believe it. I am a total francophile and am in the process of learning to speak french, so you’ll have to forgive the ensuing rant. Theresa and Steve go to Paris in disguises so they don’t get mobbed, however, the disguises are fucking stupid. Steve wears a floppy hat and sunglasses and Theresa wears sunglasses and piles her hair on top of her head. Those aren’t disguises, those are just you changing your outfit a little bit. Sorry honey, but with how much your face has been broadcast and all of the photos of you and the posters they’re selling of you without your consent there’s no way that’s a fucking ‘disguise’. Theresa and Steve decide that they want to go see the different famous parts of Paris, including the ‘Champs-Elysees’ which is filled to the brim of ‘over-expensive’ stores, despite the fact that the Champs-Élysées is infamous for being filled with designer and luxury stores and brands, it’s absolutely filled with brilliant french fashion. But, despite what Boutin claims about having absolutely no chain stores, it does. Les Champs has different chain outlets like Sephora, Nike, GAP, et...c. They also go to see the Arch of Triumph which I can only assume is the Americanized version of the Arc de Triomphe. Call me a fucking pretentious bitch if you want, but its name is Arc de Triomphe, not Arch of Triumph. They go into the Louvre, which in itself isn’t a problem. That is, it’s not a problem until they arrive at the Mona Lisa, which Theresa claims is ‘not impressive’ because it’s so ‘small’, is ‘in a recess in the wall’ and is ‘covered by light-absorbing darkened glass to protect it from flashy cameras’. Admittedly, I do think at times that the Mona Lisa can be over-hyped, but it a piece of history. The Mona Lisa is almost akin to a wonder of art history, and it’s so well protected and hidden because it’s worth so fucking much and people have attempted to throw acid on it before. Not only that, but they don’t want people touching the Mona Lisa. It’s Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece of the Renaissance and one of the most known paintings in the world, so I’m so sorry you’re disappointed by it, Theresa, and can’t be bothered to look up information about it that is more than easily accessible to anybody with a phone and a penny’s worth of intelligence. We then get to the absolute peak of Boutin’s cultural knowledge and acceptance, when Theresa goes to visit the Notre-Dame de Paris. “It was smaller than we expected. It was basically a pile of stone erected around 1200 and the huge pillars holding up the roof didn’t leave much room for the people. There were no pews; everybody had to stand. The artwork was pre-Renaissance and rather unspectacular after our visit to the Louvre. It was disappointing (pg 165).”  I am so, so fucking sorry you found it disappointing Theresa. I understand that history isn’t everyone’s love, but the Notre-Dame is absolutely dazzling in its beauty. The shit that the Notre-Dame has gone through and how it still remains standing today is an absolute miracle. I know it went through the fire, yet it still stands. The beautiful stained glass windows that will make anyone in awe of their beauty and would bring me to tears if I ever got the chance to see them in person still remain. The sun shines through the glass and gives an ambiance of absolute reverence and holiness. The gothic architecture pulls you back in time and brings you to when the cathedral was built. You are in a standing piece of history, so who gives a fuck if there are no pews? There are so many people filtering in and out of the Notre-Dame day in and day out that they can’t afford to have pews in the building. They still hold services in the building and bring in chairs for people to sit, you just didn’t happen to attend when there was a service because you’re a tourist. Tourists don’t attend church services in historic cathedrals, usually. Besides that, the Notre-Dame was built in 1163-1345 CE. Technically around the year 1200 CE, but still, this information is readily available to anyone who can access Google. Also, how fucking dare you call it a pile of stone? This building is more than just a fucking pile of stone. The rock garden in front of my parent’s house is a pile of fucking stone, the Notre-Dame is anything but a pile of stone. It is the heart of Paris, is the lady of Paris who was mourned when she burned down and is being rebuilt. The Notre-Dame is a masterpiece of architecture and a building that I, even as an atheist, would die to see. The Notre-Dame has been through hell and back and yet the building still stands. It has lived through the best and through the worst of times in France and it still endures. The Notre-Dame is a sign of hope for the French, just as the American flag acted as a sign of hope of the United States during the revolutionary war. I wouldn’t call the flag a bunch of fabric, so, don’t you fucking dare call the Notre-Dame a pile of stone. The way that her feelings are expressed about the Notre-Dame, how it has no pews, calling it a pile of stone, calling the stained glass unspectacular, it radiates childish behavior and thoughts. It shows just how uncultured Boutin is and makes Theresa look like a complete brat in her behavior because she has absolutely no will to educate herself in the slightest and it makes her look absolutely entitled. It’s petulant and childish behavior and I will not stand for it. If you’re going to act like a child, Theresa, I’m going to treat you like the little brat you are. You have absolutely no capacity for thought other than ‘I want what I want, and when it’s not exactly how I want it, I’m going to throw a fucking tantrum and call it awful and unfair.’ After Theresa acting like an entitled brat, they go to the Eiffel Tower, where she gets to act more like an entitled brat. She’s mad that the subway doesn’t drop them right off at the Eiffel Tower and they have to walk half a mile (Oh no, I’m so fucking sorry that you have to walk h a l f   a   m i l e) to get to the tower. Paris, apparently, isn’t anything special to look at when you get to the observation deck on the Eiffel Tower, and Theresa calls Paris a “tired old city. American cities offered just as much (pg 165).” How Fucking Childish Can She Get? American cities do not have nearly as much to offer. Yes, in the United States we have so much history on our shores, especially from Native American tribes, but the United States doesn’t offer as much. In no way shape or form does the United States offer nearly as much as Paris does in terms of history. They didn’t even go and visit some of the more amazing and breathtaking sights, like the catacombs, or any of the old and castles, left to ruin. No food was tried, no culture was experienced, no history was truly experienced. Theresa and Steve did absolutely nothing to immerse themselves into the Parisian culture and they got nothing out of it, so what the fuck did they expect? This rings of entitlement and childish behavior and it’s fucking stupid. Chapter 9 has infuriated me like no other chapter so much to the point that I don’t even feel as though I can properly express how angry I am.  But, for the sake of my own sanity, we’ll move along. Theresa says she misses chipmunks which have absolutely nothing to do with Paris or what she was just talking about but I guess this statement is at least semi-important. At about 9 pm they go out to a second-floor restaurant that obviously has a dress-code and expect to be serviced like entitled children. Surprise, surprise, they’re not serviced because they’re dressed in ‘American casual’. Even in the United States, restaurants that have a dress code have the right and will refuse you service if you’re not adhering to that code. So Steve and Theresa decide to seat themselves, and this may be getting nitpicky, but once more it shows how little research Boutin did and how uncultured he is, because, despite the fact that it’s 9 at night, he says ‘Bonjours’ to a French couple next to him. Yes, ‘Bonjours’, not ‘Bonjour’, he fucking adds an ‘s’ to the end. A quick lesson in French: Bonjour is only used during the morning/early-middle of the day. It literally translates to ‘good day’, and you wouldn’t say ‘good day’ to someone at 9 pm. 9 am you can, in fact, that’s acceptable. But at 9 pm, you would say ‘good night’, or ‘Bonsoir’. It doesn’t take years of French to know this. It takes two seconds of searching on Google which I am convinced Boutin is incapable of doing at this point Anyways, they leave the restaurant after showing to everyone that it was mE, DIO THE WHOLE TIME. NEVER FUCKING WOULD HAVE GUESS THAT, WOULD YOU? Just kidding, that would have been better. No, they just reveal that it was Theresa and Steve the whole time who aren’t (no they definitely are) random American slobs. Moving along, they go to Ireland this time and have a fucking blast, I guess. Then they go back to England and back to the Parker residence, where Theresa finds out that Steve had the soldiers build Theresa a little shed/cage thing for chipmunks, which he is having imported from the United States. Why? Because she missed them. Once again, it’s not like it’s been 3 weeks since Theresa found out the world was ending and she hasn’t really done jack shit to try and fix it. The world definitely isn’t completely and utterly fucked. Chapter 10  We have finally made it to the last chapter of this review and by far one of the most confusing ones. To save you the pain I had to go through of trying to decipher this chapter because I feel like being nicer than Boutin was to me after chapter 9, Theresa gets a new ‘reflex’ where every time she closes her eyes or puts her hands in front of her face (one of the two, I still can’t tell) she basically has a black and white google earth pop up, except it’s moving in real-time. She can zoom in and zoom out and spy on people or see places that are far away as they’re happening. I don’t know what the point of this is yet, but I guess it’s a good thing.  Theresa also gets HAL to do the things that she wanted him to do in the ‘training’ exercises I mentioned earlier, and the way that Boutin describes it is super fucking confusing, so I’ll just put it simply by saying that Theresa gets HAL to do the thing and HAL does the thing well. And then, she’s working to get HAL to do the thing super fast and to do multiple things all at once.  People took her trip to France and Ireland well, I guess because it’s an indication that she’s still interested in things outside of herself. This is completely unrealistic and at this point, I highly doubt anyone would be letting Theresa do jack shit aside from working to save the earth. There would probably be a lot of riots and arguably, if things were realistic, Theresa would be dead as soon as people learned that HAL could transfer over if she died and chances were, they’d give HAL to somebody older and with more experience who had a team working behind them to make sure that they do the right thing. Chipmunks are important again because the Parker family finds it super endearing that she managed to get the chipmunks to eat out of her hand, and they take videos of it and post it all over social media. Theresa claims that the videos were shown on every corner of the planet, especially in kid’s programs, which apparently showed the clips every day. This totally doesn’t sound like indoctrination to me. At all. Somehow, because she’s taking good care of the chipmunks, this is supposed to make people have faith in her skills.  Theresa realizes that there needs to be rain, but we don’t find out what she does about that in this chapter which is fucking stupid. This entire book is fucking stupid and if I didn’t have problems with the idea of leaving things half-finished, I would have stopped reading it at this point. And that’s it. That is chapters 5-10. I hoped you enjoyed living through this hell with me. See you all whenever I get around to another review. Remember, if you have a book you want me to review, feel free to hit me up with an ask or some other way and I will do my best to get back to you. 

Mafia AU - Stray Kids

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Arranged Marriage

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A/N - This is one Alternartive Start to my Mafia AU Series For the other one look [Here]. For the rest of the Series look {Here}

Masterlist

Woojin-

Woojin walks in to the abandoned building, trying to blend in as he searches for his informant to receive the last updates about the new gang forming across town. What he didn't expect was to see his informant duking it out with some person in the ring, let alone getting their asses kicked. Woojin stood and watched, impressed by this person, impressed by their skills and their quick reflexes and how to adapt to their oponnents fighting style, impressed by you. When the 'ref' decided the guy had been beaten enough, he blew a whistle and you stepped back, offering a hand to the beaten up man, Even after destorying the dude you were still kind enough to help him. He liked it, liked you. "Anyone else want to challenge our champion?" The ref calls out. Woojin chuckles, stepping forwards, "I'm game. But I do have one condition, if you think you're up for it." "Sure what do you want?" "If I win, you marry me." You let out a laugh, taking a second to realize how serious Woojin was. "Okay, I like your cockiness, but good luck beating me." It was safe to say, you were soon eating those words... and the ground.

Chan-

You don't remember exactly how it happened. You were working for Chan's family as a maid, cleaning up the house for them when they needed it, doing laundry, whatever they needed. It wasn't until you were stuck in a situation that things became a problem. You were cleaning their office as usual, avoiding any major files as they instructed and not going near the papers on the desk or the computers. You were dusting off the bookshelf beside the door when they barged in, the door hitting the back of you. They started in on all these plans and you tried to hurry out after quickly realizing they were planning on killing someone. As you make your way out a creak in the floor catches all their attention. Next thing you knew you were sat down in the office, with Chan and his parents. They were trying to decide what to do, how to solve this problem. As much as they didn't want to admit it, they were fond of you, so they didn't want to kill you. So they tried to do you one better, marry their son. It's not like you had a choice. you said yes.

Minho-

Drunken fathers make stupid mistakes. Stupid drunken mistakes that led you here. Your dad told you, you had to meet someone. You knew what it really was, your dad was notorious for messing with the Mafia and lots of times you've had to clean up his mess... just never this big of a mess. You knock on the door and are quickly greeted and ushered inside. Your sat down at a table and explained what the deal was, shown the contract, and were presented with your own to sign. "So let me get this straight, my drunken father made a deal with you guys that if he did not fufill, which he didn't, either his family dies or I take your son's hand in marriage? I swear that man is an idiot..." You grumble out. "You can take your time and read through it. Most everything in there is pretty fair." The man says to you. you let out a sigh, reading through it. After a few small negotiations on some of the terms the contract is sign and you're being introduced to your soon to be husband... great.

Changbin-

Running from the mafia is surprisingly fun. I mean everyday's a new thrill, just waiting for you. Never knowing when you can be cornered, or killed, or double crossed. It's a real joy. You drink to relax, not to get drunk and slip up... for the most part. You were just having fun, sure no one knew you were there, sure that you were safe. You were just dancing, having fun, until you feel hands on your waist, someone dancing with you. You tried to not read into it, tried to stay relaxed... bad choice. you could feel the metal of the gun push against your side as the man leans up to your ear in says, "You come with me, or we make a scene.. your choice." I let out a sigh but follow the man nonethless. We get outside the bar and walk down away from people before I'm shoved into a buidling where other men were waiting. I was guiding to a chair and pushed down to sit in it. The man puts his gun away but I'm not stupid enough to think there isn't another one still pointed at me somewhere. "Good work son." A familar man tells him. "You know, you were awfully hard to find," "I mean... I tried." "I like it, could use a little less additute but... I think it'd be stupid just to kill you... so... meet your new husband." The man says, pointing to the boy that brought me here... well then, what a turn of events.

Hyunjin-

You weren't crazy about your dad's lifestyle, but you accepted it. They tried to keep you young and dumb as long as they could but soon you had a lot of growing up to do and fast. You were taught the ropes and were told how to kill, disarm, and con a man. You had to protect yourself, you learned to shoot a gun. You grew up, very quickly. So when this long running war between your father's group and another Mafia seems to get a chance for peace, you're more than happy to help your dad get the peace he's been so long needing... even if it meant marrying the other Mafia leader's son.

Jinsung-

Your dad thought you didn't know, thought there was no way you had figured out his late night meetings, or the sketchy phone calls, or everything he's done to try and help this family. You know it all. And you know that your father couldn't keep his side up, and that tonight he has to negotiate for his daughter, not you, but your sister. You couldn't let that happened. Your sister was everything to you, not to mention she had a life, a boyfriend, friends, everything. You didn't want her life taken away. So you snuck into your dad's car and crashed the meeting. You waited out in the car for a few minutes before sneaking in behind him shortly after. You found the room they were all discussing in and you listened as they decided your sister's fate, decided that they had given your dad too much time already and that it's time to start making deals for the arranged marriage to be set in place. this is where you barged in. The click of the gun as it's placed to your head didn't scare you as much as it should have, "Who the fuck are you?!" "What? That's my daughter, what the hell are you doing here?" "I know, everything dad. I-" "Shut up!" The man with the gun said. "Wait," A young boy cuts in, " Let her talk." I glance over to him and he nods for me to start talking again, almost as if to reassure me, " I know everything, dad. I know you are making deals with the mafia, deals you can't keep and because of it you put my sister's life on the line. You set up for her to be married to his son, and I won't let that happen. So i'm here to offer myself in her place. I'll marry his son if it means she can live a normal life. She doesn't have to know about any of this." You say directing it all towards your dad, except for the last part where you turn to whom you assumed was the leader, "Let me marry your son instead of my sister, let me take her place, please." "Well... are you okay with that son?" The man says, looking over to the boy who spoke earlier, "I like your spunk, I'll accept you in her place."

Felix-

You’ve done a lot to survive. Your family rejected you and you’ve had to fight for food practically every night. You ran away from home and you’ve been living on the streets for quite some time. You’ve had to adapt, learn to survive. You’ve tried job after job, trying anything to get your own place. You were just kicked out of another one, some stupid rule of having to own a belt and have certain color socks. It was bullshit and you couldn’t even afford food, where the fuck would you get money for that shit? You got back to your little tent, shoving your crap in there once again before starting to figure out how you’d eat tonight. You probably scrapped together at least two or three dollars in tips today before you got fired, maybe the convenience store had something that would last you a few days. You get out of your tent to find some man standing there. “What?” “I’ve seen you hauled up in this tent for the past few weeks so, I have a proposition for you.”

Seungmin-

Too boring. Also boring. Exactly the same as the last two girls. Boring. So fucking boring. Bori- actually... maybe not. Seungmin was flipping through the list of girls his parents picked for him when he stumbled across you. You seemed to be unique from the rest, someone he never thought his parents would approve of but maybe they did if they included you. He hated doing this and if he just passed on you his parents would just give him another stack of some girls so he decided why not and told his parents you were who he wanted.

Jeongin-

It wasn’t that is was technically forbidden it was just... his parents had no clue and they’d flip if they ever found out? It honestly wasn’t suppose to be anything. You were one of the servants at his house and you were always selected to be in the room during business meetings. Most of the time Jeongin would get bored and would always mess around with you. Then feelings started to emerge and then you two started your secret relationship. It was nothing more than a few looks from afar and sneaking in private moments when you could. But his parents weren’t fools, they knew something was going on between the two of you. After lots of discussions they hold a meeting, once again you attend but you find out that it’s a meeting for you. So the parents make a deal that the two of you get married now, or break up forever. With No other way around it, and you sure as hell not wanting to lose him, you agree.

A good week for RAW.  A solid week for NXT. An average week on Smackdown. And through it all, the WWE seemingly lost about a billion dollars in value due its stock being down with 4th quarter financials released after the firing of two top executives, George Barrios and Michelle Wilson.

Now, according to Vince McMahon, the WWE may be shopping the streaming rights to its own PPV’s to an outside streaming service. What does that mean for the WWE Network? Will it become a VOD service? The allure of the network has always been to get the monthly PPV’s along with new content and access to hidden gems and past shows at your fingertips, all for – say it with me – the low, low price of $9.99 a month. If you take away the PPV’s, that’s a big chuck of the attraction. Stay tuned as we could learn the outcome of all this before WrestleMania according to McMahon on this week’s conference call.  

So, when all is said and done. When the out-of-the-ring news overshadows the product in-the-ring and on tv, it’s not a great week for the WWE. I’d have to give RAW the number one show of the week, not because NXT nor Smackdown were bad. They weren’t. NXT was a solid show and Smackdown was ok, but what Randy Orton did in front of an amazing Salt Lake City crowd that trudged through a massive snowstorm in Utah made it a hotter show.

Star of the week:

"YOU answer to ME!" – @AngelGarzaWWE to @humberto_wwe #RAW @Zelina_VegaWWE pic.twitter.com/feYnFnMUts

— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) February 4, 2020

Angel Garza – Pulling double-duty on RAW and NXT gives Garza the spotlight this week. If he continues to shine, maybe he’ll be sticking around even after Andrade returns from his 30-day suspension. Sure, I could’ve given it to Randy Orton for his monster-heat, but Garza put himself out there in an impressive debut and stood out on two shows.

RAW

RESULTS

Liv Morgan defeated Lana

Non-title 24/7 Championship Match: Drew McIntyre defeated Mojo Rawley

Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: Buddy Murphy & Authors of Pain defeated Kevin Owens & The Viking Raiders

Aleister Black defeated Eric Young

Rey Mysterio, Jr. defeated Angel Garza via DQ

Asuka defeated Natalya

WWE Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ricochet defeated Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley

What we loved:

“I can’t do this.” @RandyOrton leaves the WWE Universe without an explanation for his savage attack on @EdgeRatedR. #RAW pic.twitter.com/xkwysFO3et

— WWE (@WWE) February 4, 2020

Mega-heat – Randy Orton said nothing. And we LOVED it! That’s how you draw mega-heat my friends. Less is more! We are going to have one helluva Road to WrestleMania between Edge and the Viper.

New blood – I’ll give the WWE credit for continuing the Brock Lesnar-Ricochet storyline for a payoff at a big spot at the Super Showdown in Saudi Arabia. Instead of falling back into yet another Rollins vs. Lesnar or a short-term Lashley vs. Lesnar spot, it made sense to follow-up the Royal Rumble low-balling storyline between the WWE Champion to give Ricochet his first shot at the company’s top title. Of course, we know he has no shot at winning, but at least it should be a good match.

Tempers are high in this heated matchup between @NatbyNature and @WWEAsuka on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/6MPkk5yBBV

— WWE (@WWE) February 4, 2020

Asuka vs. Natalya – Good, old-fashioned slobberknocker right here! Two of the most physical superstars in the women’s division going at it is a must-watch.

Hello, Angel – It may be just a short-term fix until Andrade returns from his 30-day Wellness suspension, but it’s good to see Angel Garza get the call-up for a face-to-face with his cousin Humberto Carrillo and Rey Mysterio, Jr.

See you Wednesday, @MsCharlotteWWE. #WWENXT @RheaRipley_WWE pic.twitter.com/wju4PLrKUd

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) February 4, 2020

Charlotte vs. Rhea – We told you it was coming! Realistically, can we see Charlotte Flair heading back to NXT full-time, nope! But it will be interesting to see these two go back-and-forth for a few weeks over RAW and NXT on the Road to WrestleMania.

What we didn’t love:

RAW needs something – Remember back in the day, we had Piper’s Pit, The Barbershop, the Brother Love Show and more. Well, it’s time for RAW to have something like that. It just seems like the show’s getting repetitive with run-ins and in-ring long promos time after time. It needs to have something outside the ring to turn to on a semi-regular basis, not every week. Make it an attraction and something to look forward to. And no, it has to be more than the Saturday Night Live Update rip-off we get from The Street Profits.

Meh:

Ruby Riott returns – Ruby Riott returns to attack her former Riott Squad member Liv Morgan and seemingly join forces with Lana. But why? Do we now get Sarah Cross joining Morgan soon to even the odds? Underwhelming for a return IMHO.

NXT

RESULTS

Angel Garza defeated Isaiah “Swerve” Scott

Dominik Dijakovic defeated Killian Dain

Mercedes Martinez defeated Kacy Catanzaro

Non-title NXT Cruiserweight Championship Match: Jordan Devlin defeated Tyler Breeze

Tommaso Ciampa & The BroserWeights (Pete Dunne & Matt Riddle) vs. The Undisputed ERA (Adam Cole, Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly) went to a no-contest

What we loved:

WE. ARE. NXT.

Just in case you forgot, @MsCharlotteWWE. #WWENXT @BiancaBelairWWE @RheaRipley_WWE pic.twitter.com/VSkp2YAAP7

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) February 6, 2020

Double-teaming The Queen – Not only did Charlotte Flair come back to Full Sail, but she got Rhea Ripley and Bianca Belair over before going over, literally, herself as Ripley and Belair topple her ot defend the NXT turf. They’ll be time to cement the Flair vs. Ripley WrestleMania match, but a good, creative job of booking to hype Ripley vs. Belair for TakeOver in Portland first. Belair’s stock continues to rise coming off the Royal Rumble with some quality mic time showing she can handle it with it the top stars.

Double-duty Angel – Monday night. Wednesday night. What’s next for the former NXT Cruiserweight Champ? Maybe a trip to Smackdown to complete the trifecta!

D

R

E

A

M @DreamWWE has his

on you, @roderickstrong! #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/ALg7wygoog

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) February 6, 2020

It’s not a Dream – Welcome back Velveteen Dream! Just when it looked like The Undisputed Era had the upper hand again, back comes the Velveteen Dream to make it a nightmare for Cole and company! The only down side to it could be a possible injury to Ciampa heading into TakeOver.

What we didn’t love:

The look – We will continue to say it until it changes. The WWE rarely does anything that looks small, especially against a rival. Yet, when going up against AEW on Wednesday nights, the look of NXT appears lesser when put in the cozy confines of Full Sail. It’s times to take it to the road a few times a month. The talent and the audience deserve it! As for quality, NXT has it. Now it’s time to sharpen up the look. The WWE, with its lucrative TV deals and Super Showdown money from Saudi Arabia, can afford it.

Too little KC – Yes, I’m biased being a Ninja Warrior fan, but I need more than just under three-minutes of Kacy Catanzaro. It was nice to see her return to TV, but in pretty much a squash match against Mercedes Martinez doesn’t cut it for me.

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

The Usos defeated Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode

Elias defeated Cesaro

Daniel Bryan defeats Heath Slater

Sheamus defeated Apollo Crews

Smackdown Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Carmella defeated Alexa Bliss, Naomi and Dana Brooke

Here’s the thing about this week’s Smackdown. It was perfectly fine. Nothing tremendously great, but nothing over-the-edge bad. It just was there and that’s not how I think the WWE wants to have its only show on broadcast TV to be looked upon, especially when it has two major events – Super Showdown in Saudi Arabia and WrestleMania coming up. Every week should be treated as special.

"HERE'S YOUR BREAKING NEWS: #TheFiend @WWEBrayWyatt, YOU'RE NEXT!" – @Goldberg #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/QDQxuCB6IH

— WWE (@WWE) February 8, 2020

This week, Goldberg’s return was more of a throwaway.  A rematch for the Universal Title a year later against The Fiend, who wasn’t even the person to beat Goldberg last year? Huh? I get that they want to deliver a big-time feel match for the Prince, but it just doesn’t make common sense and give you any reason to believe that Goldberg could win.

WE GOT A MAKEOVER MONTAGE!!!

@otiswwe is getting READY for his #ValentinesDay date with @WWE_MandyRose!#SmackDown @tuckerwwe pic.twitter.com/a0Oanfqh0r

— WWE (@WWE) February 8, 2020

The best thing may have been the Otis vignette getting ready for his Valentine’s Day date with Mandy Rose for next week. Now that’s MUST SEE TV my friends.

Sheamus, after weeks and weeks of saying Smackdown doesn’t have any challenges for him, is making that seem true as he doesn’t really have a true suitor – no, I don’t count Shorty Gable’s, ahem, short feud.

Good to see Heath Slater is alive, losing to Daniel Bryan via a ref stoppage. You have to wonder what’s next for Bryan and the born-again YES movement.

And no, I can’t believe they are trying to give us yet another King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns match at Super Showdown inside a steel cage. It’s the feud that no one cares about that will never end!

On the positive side, the Dirt Sheet returned with a few funny moments from The Miz and John Morrison, complete with cameos from Lance Storm and John Laurinaitis. Elias and Cesaro was pretty fun.

.@CarmellaWWE PICKS UP THE WIN… but the SmackDown Women's Champion immediately takes out her challenger on #SmackDown! @itsBayleyWWE pic.twitter.com/RRnzwMHQIT

— WWE (@WWE) February 8, 2020

Naomi looked good before bowing out in the main event fatal four-way as Carmella wins a shot at Bayley’s title before Bayley gets her shots in on Carmella.

Parting shots:            

The official trailer for WWE #RuthlessAggression is HERE. The new docuseries premieres Sunday Feb. 16 on WWE Network! pic.twitter.com/TiRlPfI6Id

— WWE Network (@WWENetwork) February 6, 2020

The trailer for the WWE Network’s new series Ruthless Aggression looks pretty good.

WrestleMania card – confirmed matches

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at [email protected]. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots and Red Sox fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND!

Free hacks for anxiety

A few of my favorite things as an anxious person that are basically free

1. The Breathe App- Have you guys tried this? It’s an app that prompts you to take deep slow breaths for one minute while its tracks your heart rate. I didn’t think much of it until I was having a panic attack that seemed to last all day. I was dreading a root canal that was scheduled for much later in the day and I was just pacing all morning with my heart racing. I tried the app on my Iwatch and it was so satisfying to watch my heart rate go down a little more each time I took a deep breath. It really distracted me and now it feels like this secret weapon I have anytime I’m super anxious.

2. The Insight Timer- This is another one that is great for people who like the idea of meditation, but have a difficult time quieting the thoughts in your head. When I am super anxious, I can’t fall asleep for the life of me. The insight timer offers guided mediation for a variety of subjects, one being sleep. I have bluetooth headphones/eye mask that come in a soft headband and I use that to comfortably drift off while I’m listening to a super sleepy meditation. Also, it doesn’t trick you into loving it just to charge you money later. But you can donate money to your favorite instructors and they have a premium membership option that is just that, optional.

3. Chamomile Tea- Now everyone knows about tea and how great it is, some people like it, some don’t. But something about chamomile tea can really relax you. I use it to replace a glass a wine when I want to wind down. Not that there’s anything wrong with a glass of wine, but its nice to have another choice! The trick for me is adding a second tea bag. I find the extra strength more effective. And if it’s not your cup of tea (pun intended!) try adding some milk and honey. It’s really nice when you’re meeting with an old friend and may be anxious about making conversation or just those little jitters during the work day.

4. Take a break from the politics and the news- As a person with anxiety, I care so much about everything, too much. When I read the news and hear about wildfires and shootings it absolutely breaks my heart. I think about it all day, I can’t handle it. I do everything I can to be environmentally conscious and I stay up to date when I can but others times, I just can’t. For the past year, the world seems to be on overdrive and I’ve just found, for me, that’s its best to read the headlines so I’m not ignorant to my surroundings but I don’t need all the details. If I have an extra few bucks, I will donate and if there’s a petition I believe in, I will sign it. But I can’t be in that whirlwind on a day to day. There’s nothing wrong with taking control of how many anxiety triggers you are exposed to.

5. Music- This seems obvious, but bare with me. Music is such a powerful thing. It has the ability to enhance a mood and even change it. The teenager in me loves putting a sad break up song on repeat and just crying as hard as I can in my car. It’s therapeutic sometimes. Other times, I’ve already cried it out and am in a position where I need to pull myself together. I’ll be on my way to work and just especially anxious to interact with my boss. When this happens I have a specific playlist that pumps me up. And if I’m feeling self conscious, I listen to Lizzo and dance in the shower. If I need a boost of hope, I listen to the opening song from the movie Inside Out. I decide how I want to feel and use music to get me there.

6. Walking through nature- This one was kind of a game changer for me. As a kid I spent a lot of time, exploring the woods and appreciating nature. But once I got older, I really started taking it for granted. One random day a few years ago, I stumbled upon a nearby nature preserve near my house. Just walking through the grass and passing wildflowers, bunnies and butterflies will really make you forget about your problems. I’ve always been nervous about hiking and getting lost in the woods but it turns out there are walking paths everywhere, especially in New England where I live. And there’s plenty of options so you can walk on a 10 minute trail or an hour long one. And a lot of State parks will give you a map or have the trails labeled so you’re in control of your walk. It’s great for people with social anxiety because there’s almost never anyone there and if there is, they’re just doing their own thing and will maybe give you a smile or head nod as they walk by but other than that you’re in your own little beautiful world.

Sleep Headphones- https://smile.amazon.com/Bluetooth-Headphones-ZesGood-Microphone-Adjustable/dp/B07MKQQQT6/ref=sr_1_7?crid=1RF473Q9ZI2WP&keywords=bluetooth+sleep+mask&qid=1566566176&s=gateway&smid=A2ZE4GI3VWNVG7&sprefix=bluetooth+sleep+%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-7

Breathe App- http://breatheapp.co

Insight Timer- https://insighttimer.com

My favorite Chamomile Tea- https://smile.amazon.com/Traditional-Medicinals-Organic-Chamomile-Herbal/dp/B0009F3PM6/ref=sr_1_4?crid=370PAO6REYSIW&keywords=organic%2Bchamomile%2Btea&qid=1566566444&s=gateway&sprefix=organic%2Bchemo%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-4&th=1

Nature walks- Each state has their own website, but you can find state parks near you on your states website. I live in Massachusetts so if I go to mass.gov it lists free parks I can visit and even tells you where you can swim, bike, walk or go camping.

No links to the news things except to say if you feel like you need some type of world updates. I’d check out uplifting news. I follow a few reddit threads that just tell me about baby stories and towns coming together to donate blood after a tragedy, and just so many other real feel good stories that I can’t get enough of.

For music, I use Spotify. I pay for the membership but there’s a free option too! The app makes it so easy to make playlist and really learns your music preferences. It gives you suggestions for new music based on your taste. And while you’re checking that out, look up Lizzo. Ten minutes into listening to her album and I am an unstoppable queen, ready to conquer the day.

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Live Reporting

By Denise Evans

All times stated are UK

#nufca few months ago when we had a decent front three and an excellent manager…..

from Neil Johnson here

Video content

Video caption: Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp praised his team’s mentality after their win at SouthamptonLiverpool manager Jurgen Klopp praised his team’s mentality after their win at Southampton

Full quotes here

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 7:367:36

Luiz left Arsenal due to ‘ambition’

Arsenal 2-1 Burnley

David Luizleft Chelsea for London rivals Arsenal on transfer deadline day.

He’s now explained his reasons why, after making his debut for the Gunners on Saturday.

Chelsea, who beat Arsenal in the Europa League final, came third in the league last season with Arsenal fifth.

“I am a guy with ambition and that is why I moved. I like a new a challenge and new things in my life,” said Luiz.

“This is what gives me oxygen and gives me motivation and also to really enjoy this moment.

“I could have chosen a comfortable zone and got money and be cool and that is it.”

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 7:327:32

comments

Get Involved

#bbcfootball or text 81111 (UK only)

Obah Christopher:“It’s the hope that kills you”? I think Barcelona playing Liverpool last season needing just a goal to progress, and eventually not getting it.

Not in this game, obviously, but VAR has given the ‘hope that kills you’ new meaning this season, hasn’t it?

Posted at 7:327:32

Dani’s dream debut

Arsenal 2-1 Burnley

Daniel Cabelloswas named man of the match after his sterling display against Burnley on Saturday.

It was the kind of showing that made you wonder why Real Madrid let him go.

Loanee Ceballos recorded two assists on his full Arsenal debut, recording four key passes in all and registering as many shots as strikers Aubameyang and Lacazette (three

An ever-modest Daniel took to social media after the game to commend his team-mates for a tough win. Nice to see, if you ask me (alliteration not intended).

Posted at 7:277:27

Gunners edge out Burnley

Arsenal 2-1 Burnley

Arsenal’s striker duoPierre-Emerick AubameyangandAlexandre Lacazettecame to the rescue yet again with a goal either side of Burnley’s Ashley Barnes.

It was Saturday’s lunchtime kick-off and it got everyone licking their lips for what was to come over the weekend, as the Gunners were forced to fight for their win at the Emirates.

Arsenal bossUnai Emerywas full of praise for his team, especially Aubameyang.

But it was new boyCabelloswho had the fans the most excited, after he shone in his home debut after arriving on loan from Real Madrid over the summer.

More on him in a sec…

Video content

Video caption: Arsenal boss Unai Emery praises Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for his winner against BurnleyArsenal boss Unai Emery praises Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for his winner against Burnley

Posted at 7:227:22

comments

Get Involved – ‘it’s the hope that kills you’ goal

#bbcfootball or text 81111 (UK only)

Lisa Crowe: Sol Campbell’s goal against Argentina

SMS Message: It’s the hope that kills ya …

Gazza sliding in and missing the ball by inches, Euro 96 semi V Germany. from Darcey’s Dad, Colne, Lancs.

It’s the hope that kills ya …

Gazza sliding in and missing the ball by inches, Euro 96 semi V Germany.

Posted at 7:197:19

Awkward

Everton 1-0 Watford

Ummm…is that motivation ‘don’t be like them, Watford?’

#goalless

Posted at 7:127:12

Post update

Everton 1-0 Watford

Bernard scored the only goal as Everton got their 2019-20 Premier League campaign up and running.

But Watford’s poor start continued as they failed to turnaround their 4-0 thumping to Brighton on the opening day.

ManagerJavi Graciawas hoping for a reaction from his players at Everton, but despite a better second half, they failed to deliver as the Toffees stood firm.

Stay tuned as I continue to rattle through the weekend’s games, as a gentle reminder of how the second Saturday of the season panned out.

Video content

Video caption: Watford boss Javi Gracia wants his players to be ‘angry and hungry’ after 1-0 at EvertonWatford boss Javi Gracia wants his players to be ‘angry and hungry’ after 1-0 at Everton

Posted at 7:077:07

comments

Get Involved

#bbcfotball or text 81111 (UK only)

Tracey Payne:I don’t really understand the controversy about the disallowed City goal. Yeah, it was harsh but that’s the law now. VAR just followed it. The same law was applied when Wolves had a goal disallowed last week. No-one complained that much then.

Bob: It’s not the disallowed City goal it’s the foul on Rodri in the box not given by Ref & VAR whereas Sterling gets booked for same outside the box. Inconsistency causes upset & confusion

Posted at 7:057:05

Goodison Park a fortess?

Everton 1-0 Watford

Everton boss Marco Silva certainly hopes so.

Video content

Video caption: Marco Silva is focused on keeping clean sheets at home after a 1-0 win over WatfordMarco Silva is focused on keeping clean sheets at home after a 1-0 win over Watford

Posted at 7:007:00

Stalemate on the south coast

Brighton 1-1 West Ham

Chicharito put West Ham in front at Brighton, butLeandro Trossardlevelled things up minutes later.

The Belgian had a goal disallowed in the first half, after VAR ruled he was offside.

Brighton have four points from two games after thrashing Watford in their opening game.

The Hammers meanwhile will have to wait until the their next match against the Hornets on Saturday for their first victory.

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 6:526:52

comments

Get Involved

#bbcboxing or text 81111 (UK only)

Oh the agony, Ryan…

SMS Message: The couple of minutes between full time against Sunderland and “Aguerooooooo” as a United fan. That was a long walk back through town with a Champ19ns shirt on. from Ryan

The couple of minutes between full time against Sunderland and “Aguerooooooo” as a United fan. That was a long walk back through town with a Champ19ns shirt on.

Posted at 6:516:51

Villa fall short

Aston Villa 1-2 Bournemouth

Bournemouth’s solid start to the season continued as they sneaked past Aston Villa at Villa Park.

The hosts will be disappointed not to come away with a point after losing concentration for the first 10 minutes of the game, with the Cherries 2-0 up within the first 12 minutes.

“We made two big mistakes, they had two goals in 10 minutes and it’s difficult to come back from that in this league,” Villa managerDean Smithtold BBC Match of the Day.

“You’re always chasing at 2-0 and it allows them to slow it down and kill the game a little bit.”

The newly promoted Villa next play Everton on Friday.

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 6:466:46

‘VAR disaster’

Man City 2-2 Tottenham

The Times

Henry Winter sums up the mood surrounding VAR pretty well here

Posted at 6:456:45

comments

Get Involved – what’s your ‘hope that kills you’ game?

#bbcfootball or text 81111 (UK only)

Francesca Gunn:England… Frank Lampard… need I say more?

Peter Collins: I’m not a Liverpool fan, but I suspect their title chase last season falls into the “it’s the hope that kills you” category. Every week hoping City would drop a point, every week being disappointed.

Hellworld99: ‘It’s the hope that kills you’ Pretty much Liverpool before June 1st

Read More

Lockdown 2007

Welcome to the third installment of my march through all of TNA/GFW/Impact Wrestling’s Lockdown PPVs that ran from 2005-2016. As I like to start these off, let’s see how Impact has evolved over the previous year. Going into April 2007, they now have WWE Hall of Famer and current RAW GM, Kurt Angle on its roster. Vince Russo is back on the TNA booking team for the first of many Lockdowns to come. We were in the midst of the ‘PCS’ Paparazzi Championship Series where Kevin Nash took several X-Division guys and put them through early-NXT-type challenges and made buddies with them all in the end in a fun set of sketches to look back on and see how they helped add some depth to previously vanilla X-Division stars. Some major teams have now split up with Team Canada and America’s Most Wanted no longer together. This is the final Lockdown during the ‘one-hour adrenaline rush’ era of Impact, as Spike made the show a two hour program in the proceeding fall. With that added hour they immediately debuted its ‘Knockouts’ division, and the seeds for that are seen here with more women on the roster compared to a year prior, and 2007 seeing the first women’s match in Lockdown history. This is one of the first TNA/Impact PPV’s to leave the Impact Zone in Orlando, and started a new trend for the promotion where they would try and have at least a few of their ‘marquee’ PPVs in bigger markets. This change in venue is immediately noticeable as Lockdown 2007 emanates from a much bigger venue in St. Louis, Missouri. The Impact Zone is a nice studio setting for the weekly TV show that TNA has made tremendous strides in making it look bigger than it actually is, but them bringing their PPVs to a legit arena gives them a more big time feel.

The pre-show match is included in the extras and features Vodoo Kin Mafia (AKA James Gang, AKA New Age Outlaws) taking on Christy Hemme’s mysterious team called Serontonin. I completely forgot about Serontonin until now, and looking back at them they remind me an awful lot of Sanity in NXT. Hemme’s first foray into managing did not go well as Serontonin were not long for the company, and Hemme would find a modicum of success managing the Rock ‘n Rave Infection, who I kid you not came down to the ring jamming out on Guitar Hero guitars! Voodoo Kin Mafia was Russo’s 4th-wall breaking makeover of the James Gang, whose only purpose seemed to intentionally point out the absurd booking of DX concurrently taking place in WWE. The match was a forgettable quick little bout on the preshow with Kip pinning Havik with The One and Only. Other extras on the DVD are a photo gallery that I took pics with my phone of for the blog here, thus the lack of quality (sorry….kind of) and a nice 12-minute montage of footage of TNA stars signing autographs at its Fan Fest the day before. I loved the longtime TNA PPV voiceover guy, Barry Scott! His voice brings an intangible grandeur to every event he introduces and he does it once again here promising this Lockdown will bring blood and terror! There was no blood in the 5-Man Xscape match opener for the X-Division title. Like past years, eliminations happen by pins and submissions until it is down to the last two where escape from cage determines the winner. This year’s contestants were Sonjay Dutt, Alex Shelley, Shark Boy, ‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal and defending champ, Chris Sabin. Kevin Nash and the PCS was responsible for Jay Lethal doing a Macho Man impression he kept up for a few years in TNA because it was damn good Macho Man impression and was responsible for the only good Ric Flair moment in his TNA run. The X-Division delivered in this match with a ton of killer spots that all connected. Shelley and Sabin teamed up for a hearty part of the match and gelled well together and I could see this match being the catalyst for them starting to team up shortly after this PPV and form the Motor City Machine Guns. Eventually it came down to Lethal and Sabin, and Sabin successfully defended the belt after Lethal got his foot stuck in the cage in a heck of an opener.

Former Team Canada members collide next when Robert Roode took on Petey Williams. This had the storyline of Williams trying to help out another former Team Canada member, Eric Young, who was tricked into signing paperwork to become Robert Roode’s property. Young tries to help Petey out, but it backfires and Roode lands the Payoff/Perfect Plex for the win. The first women’s Lockdown bout transpired next with Gail Kim taking on Jacquelyn/Miss Jackie Moore. Jackie is teaming with James Storm and both have an awesome theme that has not crossed my mind in awhile and was a hoot to relive. The two stepped up and had a killer match that started off with an outside brawl before slugging it out in the six sides of steel. Kim got the pin after a splash from the top of the cage. Good ‘ol Mr. Bob Backlund had a fun cup of coffee in TNA at this time. He would usually be seen in the background coming out of commercial behind the announcers doing the Harvard Step Test all show long for no apparent rhyme or reason. TNA! TNA! This regrettably stopped when he became involved in Senshi and Austin Starr’s feud and was the guest referee. In case you forgot, Austin Starr was TNA’s reimagining of Austin Aries as a modern day Jesse Ventura. Senshi got a sneaky roll-up win after he took advantage of Starr arguing with Backlund.

When I was eight I must have watched the Wrestlemania VII blindfold match on Colisseum Videotape between Rick Martel and Jake Roberts countless times. 8-year-old Dale absolutely ate it up! That is how you do a blindfold match! How you do not do a blindfold match is how TNA executed it here between former America’s Most Wanted teammates Chris Harris and James Storm. The ref loosely tied the masks on both men, and both masks repeatedly fell off several times throughout. ‘Someone Stop This’ was an audible chant throughout the bout. It mercifully concluded when Storm cheated and peaked from under the mask to see Harris’s position and superkicked him for the pin. I made it clear on this blog before my love for WWE’s OMG video series, and when WWE ultimately buys out TNA/Impact and gets their video library, this blindfold match is easily a top tier contender for TNA’s OMG/Worst of moments. It is worth noting Harris and Storm would rebound from this in a match of the year contender a few months later at Sacrifice 2007. The next match saw Christopher Daniels taking on Jerry Lynn. Daniels is trying some new gimmickry with his persona at this time by having spooky face paint around one of his eyes…..I do not believe this lasted long and I eagerly anticipate filling you all full of delicious, spicy, great tasting curry soon when Daniels debuts Curry Man in a year or two! The match was nothing too special, and eventually had a couple nice spots in the final moments before Daniels won with his Last Rites finisher. LAX and a wheelchaired-bounded Konnan cut a promo on Team 3D next. Konnan is essentially retired at this point as a lifetime of leg injuries caught up with him and he is now only managing LAX.

Compared to the previous two Lockdowns, it is a achievement and a half that the 2007 edition did not see bloodshed until the eight match on the card when Team 3D faced LAX in a electrified cage match. You read that right, whenever wrestlers would touch the cage, they would get shocked, complete with zany PA sound effects and flashing arena lights and gratuitous overselling from D-Von who got Border Tossed by Hernandez into the cage and bled buckets all over the mat. The crowd did not respond well to this gimmicked warfare and appropriately chanted ‘bullshit’ and ‘fire Russo’ in response. Poor Hernandez got around the electricity by climbing up the cage with special leather gloves and boots he conjured from out of nowhere, but his attempt at putting Team 3D away with a splash through a table backfired when D-Von rolled out of the way, and then Homicide stumbling into the 3D move spelled victory for Team 3D in another match worthy of making the elusive ‘Top 50 OMG TNA Moments’ list. Throughout this PPV between matches there were regular backstage updates from the members on both sides of the Lethal Lockdown main event. It was the usual bru-ha-ha of whether certain team members could be trusted. Jeff Jarrett was making his TNA return after a several month sabbatical and joined up on Kurt Angle’s side of heroes consisting of Rhino, Samoa Joe and Sting and they all were unsure of Jarrett’s loyalty. Christian Cage was on top of his game at this point in his TNA run as NWA World Champ and leader of his faction with Tomko and AJ Styles who was now rocking a full-out southern hick character. Joining them in Lethal Lockdown were Abyss, and TNA newcomer, ‘Big Poppa Pump’ Scott Steiner. If you though Steiner was unpredictable on the mic before, then checkout this montage past the 14 minute mark to see his best TNA lines where Scott truly was unfiltered.

I always liked the Lethal Lockdown matches, which had nearly the exact same rules as War Games, except the roof lowered after the 10th and final competitor entered and they left a gap at the top encouraging wrestlers to crawl on top of the roof which was filled with weapons. It kind of got congested with just one ring when more stars entered the fray, but eventually almost all made it to the outside once Rhino speared Tomko out of the cage in an impressive moment. Seeing Scotty Steiner bust out a Frankensteiner for the first time in ages also had me popping big. There was the requisite Pyramid Suplex spot towards the end of the match, and the most eye-opening spot featured Angle punching AJ off the top of the cage onto a bunch of awaiting wrestlers to catch him. Rhino is the second and surprisingly last combatant to bleed for the night, which is shockingly low compared to past years. The ending saw Jarrett truly being a good guy and helping out his team when he ka-bonged Abyss with a guitar filled with, what else, but tacks so Sting could get the pin. Minus a couple lulls in the middle where it seemed the guys were killing time waiting for the next person to come out, this was a crazy, yet fun match complete with the good kind of overbooking nonsense that I can sink my teeth into. Ambitious stunts, tack-filled weapon spots, and a good dose of creativity made this a great closer to the show. As stated in previous entries, the one hour Impact era of TNA is probably my favorite period in the promotion’s history because they managed to make use of a huge roster in an hour. Even when Vince Russo returned and started up his notorious booking decisions again, it was still a fun show to watch and TNA had to keep the show moving so no segment overstayed its welcome. There is some cringe-worthy booking from Russo in the forms of Storm/Harris and 3D/LAX matches that should be skipped over by all means. However, Lockdown 2007 still captures that great feeling of this era of TNA I dug at the time with several great feuds and matches that stepped up and delivered. Definitely go out of your way to check out the Xscape, Miss Jackie/Gail Kim and Lethal Lockdown matches that made this show. It will be interesting to see where TNA is at in 2008’s Lockdown with Russo fully invested into the booking and a Knockouts Division in place. Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Sting: Into the Light Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

Chapter 7

Its been two weeks since the kiss and everything is pretty much back to normal. Keith and I are arguing again which is good because our friends were getting worried. Sometimes Keith tries to talk about it when we're alone but I always change topics. Right now was one of those times. "Hey Pretty Boy! I think we should talk about the ki-" Keith starts. "Sooo how do you think our game will be today against the Mall Cops?" I ask, changing the conversation quickly. "I dunno!" He sighs. Success! "We'll probably win even though the last time we played them a cow walked onto the field." "Ya that was HILARIOUS!" I laugh. The game was at a fairground and they forgot to close the cow pens. It took half an hour to get all the cows back in the pen but by then the game was over. "Anyway princess, let's go sit!" I lead him over to our 'team table' as our teammates like to call it after we claimed it. I sit down and high five everyone "Are you guys ready for the game tonight?!" I ask grinning. "Oh you betcha! We are totally going to win! After all, we only have to win this game to get in the LD tournament!" Grins Hunk "And after we win that, we'll conquer the world!" cackles Pidge maniacally and Hunk moves a bit farther away from her. She grins "So Keithy Boy you are going to score 5 goals today right?" He sips his milk "Umm sure" I grin and pat him on the back "Oh yes he is! as long as he has my amazing passes he will score!" He grins at me and raise my fist to bump fist but as soon as he tries to bump me, I put my fingers in a a peace sign and slide my fingers under his fist. "Snail!" Pidge groans "Honestly Lance you are so immature!" "I know and thats why all of you love me!" I laugh and everyone groans, though they were all nodding. I raise my hand for a high five from Hunk but at the last second he makes his hand into a thumbs up. "Turkey!" He grins deviously at me and I gasp hurt while everyone at the table claps. "Hunk! I am hurt! How could you pull a me on me!" I pout while everyone laughs. The lunch bell rings and we all stand up. "See you guys tonight!" Pidge calls as we part our separate ways. -------- "Thats game!" Calls the ref "Penalty shots!" I groan, after 90 minutes of hard running, ends to the score of 5-5. I. Hate. Penalty. Shots. The team runs to Coran. He's been stroking his moustache so frantically it has started to look like a beat up orange tomcat. "Ummm I want Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Allura, and Lance taking the shots! I expect them all to go in okay!" "Okay!" We call back nervously. The 'chosen' ones line up at the penalty line with the other teams five. Shiro shoots first and scores. We cheer but groan as the other team scores too. It goes back and forth like this, both teams scoring until its my turn. I line up with the ball, cracking my knuckles nervously. I eye the bottom left corner of the net. Crack! No, every shot has been on that side so far. Crack! I look at the top middle. Crack! Na too obvious. Crack! The ref blows the whistle and I struggle to swallow. I back up slowly and hear my team cheering in the background. I run and strike the ball and it hits the post. I groan but then something happened. The ball hit the post, yes, but then, by some fluke of luck, it hits off the goalie and goes into the net. "Goallllllllll!" Cheers my team and I fall to my knees. I walk to where my team was sitting and we all watch nervously while the other team takes their shot. We all bite out finger nails and cross our fingers. I swear you couldn't cut our nervousness with a knife. The player must be flustered about my goal because as soon as he takes a shot on Pidge, his shot goes right into Pidge's hands. We all scream and rush Pidge. We huddle and jump in glee. "What team is in the championship?!" Screams Coran "VOLTRON!" We yell back. "Thats uh game!" The ref tries to yell over our cheers. "Party at my house!" Yells Shiro. We all cheer and he gives us his address. "See ya there." Allura calls as she walks off the field with Coran. We clear kff the field but before I leave, the ref walks over. She was very pretty, about 5.8, with elflike features and long blonde hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail. Her blue eyes twinkled with mischievous nature as she looks me up and down. I could tell she had a nice body from her close fitting clothing and   I git the feeling that she was either going to punch me or kiss me. I lean against my blue convertible my mom got me for my birthday before and wink at her. "Hey." I say admiring her pale pink lips. "How you doin'?" She laughs, which sounds like christmas bells that send shiver down my spine. "Fine, thank you" She shakes my hand, stroking my thumb before letting go. "My name is Isa Hore and I wanted to tell you that your goal was pretty amazing." I grin "Well I do try! My name is Lan-" She waves me off "Oh I know, I've heard all about the famed midfielder Lance MacLain!" She strokes my chest and hot tingles shoot up wherever she touches. "What I didn't hear is how attractive he is." I blush "Well you aren't too bad yourself!" I squeak as her hands trails lower and lower. "Why thank you, hottie" she grins as I gulp when she reaches the waistbands of my shorts. She bends and reaches into her bag, giving me a great view if her massive cleavage. She hands me a slip of paper "Give me a call if you are ever lonely handsome and I'll be there." She smirks, kisses me briefly on the lips, and saunters off, making sure to swing her hips. Wow, I sigh as she walks off, she was something. A/N Ohhhhhhh Looks like Keithy boy has some competition.  I'm quite proud of her name. Hehehehe Is-a (w)Hore. Whoops bad Brookey. Sorry for not updating for few day but look! A mildly long chapter! It probably wouldn't be so long of I wasn't on a freaking 8 hour drive to Ohio for a soccer tournament! Ugh but I cant complain! I love soccer too much! Anyway my 'schedule' for this book is that I'll probably update maybe 1-3 times a week because I am realllyyyyy busy. Stay cool my readers! Brooke