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naughtyneganjdm · 5 years

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The Savior - Chapter 19

Summary: The reader learns more about Negan's past while they try to enjoy their small vacation together.

Characters: Negan & reader

Warnings: Swearing and the after effects of parental abuse.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995341/chapters/40932143

Absolute bliss filled Y/N’s body as she kept her eyes closed and listened to the sounds of the waves splashing around her. It wasn’t often that she got to relax like this, but this specific moment in time felt amazing. The sun was beating down on her skin, the sound of the water was amazing and the warmth of Negan beside her made this a moment to remember. If someone would have told her months ago that she would be ditching school to spend a weekend with Negan somewhere she would have never believed them. School was so important to her, but this was nice. This was beyond nice.

Opening her eyes, she looked to her side to see Negan stretched out on the huge flat rock that they had swam to in the middle of the water. It wasn’t too far away from the shore, but it was far enough out to give them space alone. Negan had his sunglasses on and his arms were folded behind his head as he lay out in the sun.

Part of her was still confused as to why Negan decided to bring her to this place. It was nice to get to learn more about Negan’s past, but it still made her question things. It was sad, but it actually made her uncomfortable that Negan had all of this money. She was just trying to do her best to think past it and enjoy her time with Negan. Instead of thinking of it as his place, she was just attempting to think of this as a small vacation with Negan and that was all.

Gulping down, she shifted on the hard surface of the rock and turned on her side to face Negan. Reaching out, she traced her fingertips over Negan’s abdomen, watching it rise and fall with his breathing. Teasing her fingers through the thick hair over his body, she smiled and moved in to press a soft kiss over Negan’s chest. His heavy breaths told her that he was still somewhat asleep when she lowered her hand down his abdomen and slid her fingertips underneath his black swimsuit.

“Would you stop it,” Negan grumbled with a huff when her hand connected with his body and he reached down to collect her wrist before pulling her hand out from beneath the material. “You are like a fucking sex ninja. Dial back the horny…geez.”

“Oh please,” she giggled watching Negan push his sunglasses up to look over at her. “I learned from the best.”

“Well the best got drunk off his ass last night and he’s suffering from dehydration. My testicles need some time to replenish what I’m missing,” Negan bluntly responded making a laugh fall from her lips as he reached down to touch himself through his swimsuit. “Trust me, I like doing it with you, but I’m not kidding. The alcohol gave me a hangover and a half. I need time to restore everything.”

Negan gave her a silly wink before pushing his sunglasses back down over his face. He leaned up and over enough to press a quick kiss over her lips before lying back down.

“Do you realize how uncomfortable fucking would be on this thing?” Negan grumbled, getting comfortable again. “One of us would end up with bruises.”

“Who said it would have led to fucking?” she retorted and Negan’s eyebrow arched up over his sunglasses. “I’m just saying, maybe I would have just given you a hand job.”

“Oh no, you are too greedy for that,” Negan nonchalantly responded making her reach out to poke him in the ribs making a goofy laugh fall from his lips. “I’m just saying, everything leads to sex. It always does. I just want to sit out here and enjoy my time with you. I know the water is romantic and we’re on the beach so ultimately you want to have sex and we’ll do it before we leave, but right now just is not the time.”

“You are so romantic, you know that?” she rolled her eyes and got comfortable again beside him. Negan’s fingertips stretched out in search of hers so he could hold her hand and squeeze her fingers in his.

“It’s a talent,” Negan teased listening to the sound of the waves, allowing them to comfort him into relaxing, something that he hadn’t done in quite some time. “Just think, right now at this time you would be in school just waiting for the time to run out so we could go back to my house and just sit around for a while.”

“I like what we do when we are home. I mean, the beach here is amazing, but…” she sighed, reaching out to caress her hand in over the planes of his abdomen. She drew small shapes over his skin before frowning. “I like our normal life.”

“As opposed to?” Negan breathed out, confused where she was headed with things.

“Maybe I’m just not used to this whole thing yet. A big house right off the beach in a rich city…” she rambled on and Negan’s dimples sunk in the longer he listened to her ramble on.

“There are places around here that I know you will love,” Negan insisted, laying back again on the rock before some of the water splashed up on the rock onto them. Negan heard her gasp and let out a small laugh. “That does happen in the ocean here sweetheart.”

“Oh ha ha,” she playfully hit him in the center of his stomach and a deep laugh fell from his lips.

“How about I take you into town? It’s a nice little town and there is some really cool stuff down by the piers. What do you say?” Negan sat up on the rock and she followed his movements. “There are some areas I used to love down there that I think you would like.”

“Won’t people notice you? Are you sure you are okay with walking around with me?” she confirmed and he shrugged his shoulders. He pushed his fingertips into his wet hair to slick it back before smiling.

“It’s been a long time. I highly doubt these people are going to remember me anyway,” Negan moved out to grab a firm hold of her to pull her close. Tipping in closer to her, he nudged her jaw playfully with his thumb before cupping her face in his rough hands. “Plus I really love you and don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I love hearing you say that,” she hummed in approval as he kissed her a few more times before jumping into the water. “Are we going to head back there now?”

“It’s going to get dark soon. You’ll want to get some food in you and then we will walk around,” Negan answered after motioning her to follow him into the water. “So let’s go get showered and then see what we can get into.”

“This is a cute town,” Y/N muttered, following Negan out of the small diner that they had just eaten at. Negan had said that he thought no one would remember him, but so far he had run into several people that knew he was. No one questioned what he was doing with her, but it still felt odd being in a place where people clearly knew Negan and grew up with him. “You really liked it as a kid, huh?”

“I did,” Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of her hand and hooked his fingertips with hers. She was uncomfortable and gulped down, looking at their hands. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re okay with doing this out and about around here?” she confirmed and Negan smirked before nodding. “I mean, they know you Negan. Are you comfortable with them knowing that you are dating someone…younger?”

“Is it any of their business?” Negan’s eyebrow perked up and she let out a long sigh. “I’m fine. That’s all that matters. These people don’t know me. They know the me from when I was here. We live hours away from here. We’re okay.”

“If you…are comfortable with it,” she nodded, allowing him to hold onto her hand as they walked down Main Street. The city had bright lights filtering the street from the small shops and diners that were up and down the main road. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Absolutely,” Negan winked, bringing her hand up to his lips to deposit a small kiss over the back of her hand. Negan stopped in front of the stores to look at the display that was set up in the window and she stepped forward to look at a necklace that caught her eye. “You like that?”

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, looking to Negan with her big eyes before looking back to the piece of jewelry. Negan watched her with a smile and he urged her toward the shop after watching her eye it over. “What?”

“Let’s take a look,” he suggested and she let out a hesitant laugh. “Come on.”

“Negan no, I just…” she rejected, but felt Negan tugging her into the store and he pulled her closer to the necklace. Negan nodded toward it and he watched her lean in to look it over. “It is beautiful Negan, but…”

The price tag caught her eye and she let out an uncomfortable sound, “Not that beautiful…”

“Do you want it?” Negan offered and she shook her head quickly, trying to pull away from Negan. “It’s okay; if you want…I can get it for you. No biggie.”

“Oh it’s a biggie,” she tried to pull her fingers from his hand and he hushed her.

“Excuse me, can we see this please?” Negan pointed down at the necklace and he watched the person at the cash register motion him to wait a moment. Y/N uncomfortably pulled away from him and he laughed. “What’s wrong?”

“You can’t afford that,” she reminded him and Negan smirked, his bright smile expanding over his features.

“You know just as much as I do that that’s not true,” Negan pointed out and she felt her heart sinking at the fact that he was willing to spend his father’s money on her.

“But you aren’t the kind of person that uses that part of your money, remember?” she insisted with an uncomfortable breath as Negan gave her a confused look. “Teacher Negan could not afford that.”

Y/N pulled her hand away from Negan and quickly moved for the door, “I’m sorry Negan, I just…I can’t have you keep doing this.”

Moving out of the shop, she saw Negan still standing there somewhat confused. The person working in the store clearly came over to talk to Negan, but she didn’t feel comfortable with Negan buying her things. When she saw the shop keeper put the necklace back in the display at the front of the store she felt a sense of relief.

“What are you doing?” Negan walked out of the small shop and closed the door behind him. “If I want to buy you something…”

“I don’t want you to buy things for me. I just…I love you,” she insisted with a shake of her head, stepping forward to cup his face in her hands lovingly. “I don’t want you to think I’m with you for your money. I want you to know that I fell for…”

“The poor me?” Negan filled in her words and he saw her give a small head tilt. A laugh fell from his lips as he shook his head. “I know that. A while ago I stressed to you that I would never be anything more than what I was and you insisted that you still loved me for me. I know you are true to me. I don’t think you are with me for my family’s money. I didn’t bring you here to give you a panic attack. I brought you here so you could relax.”

“But you would probably never have to work again if you didn’t want to Negan. That’s how fucking rich you are,” you reminded him with a tense sound and Negan nodded slowly. “You are proud of who you are and what you have accomplished on your own. I don’t want me to be the reason you start dipping into your father’s money.”

“You are stressing way too fucking much,” Negan insisted with a snort. The sounds of laughing filled the air and she looked beyond Negan to see that between the shops she could see the ocean beyond the shops. There was a pier where they were clearly having some kind of event going on. “You want to go see?”

Nodding, she was eager to get away from this conversation and what was going on. The whole money situation just made her very uncomfortable and she didn’t want Negan to eventually get upset with her and assume that she just wanted his money.

Y/N followed Negan out onto a beach and toward a festival they were clearly having. They walked out onto the pier and there were multiple people that came up to Negan to hug and talk to him. She felt out of place. It was hard not to really, but when Negan was done he would eagerly turn back to her and tell her stories about the past. About the people that he had run into and things he had done as a kid. She loved hearing about his past, but there was something that was uncomfortable about all of this.

“I have to run to the restroom, do you think you could give me a minute and just…wait right here,” Negan urged her and she nodded. Taking a seat by the edge of the pier, she waited for Negan hearing the singing and dancing that was happening just beyond where she was sitting. Turning to look over her shoulder at the couples dancing together, she smiled brightly. The environment was beautiful and she could definitely see how everyone was happy here. She would be too if she grew up in a place like this. It was honestly beautiful and it seemed like the people were just…happy. It was rare compared to what she was used to.

“Where did your father go?” a voice pressed in behind Y/N making her shift uncomfortably on the bench she was sitting on. Y/N looked up to see a brunette standing before her. Clearing her throat uneasily, Y/N watched the brunette slide in beside her and Y/N felt uneasy. “My name is Emma. You’re not from around here are you?”

“He’s not…my father,” Y/N answered staring down at the hand that Emma had offered her. Emma’s dark brown eyes were watching her carefully and Y/N gulped down heavily. She accepted the hand shake and nodded. “Yeah, I’m definitely not from here.”

“I could tell,” Emma responded with a heavy sigh, looking around the area. “So if he’s not your father, then who is he?”

“Well…” Y/N began trying to think of a way to explain Negan to a total stranger. “He’s…”

“Oh fuck off Emma, you know she’s not my kid,” Negan’s voice filtered through the air, making Y/N sit up straighter on the bench and Negan squeezed between the space that was between the two. Negan sat down on the bench and wrapped his arm around Y/N. “Emma knows me. She knows I don’t have a kid, she’s just fucking with you to try and make you feel uncomfortable.”

“If you did end up having your kid though…it would probably be older than her wouldn’t it?” Emma recalled and Y/N felt every muscle in Negan’s body locking up. The fact that the woman knew about the child that Negan had lost as a teen told her that Negan and Emma had to be close. “It’s been a while Negan. Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

“Didn’t you introduce yourself already Emma?” Negan blurted out and he leaned in to nestle his nose against the side of Y/N’s neck. A whisper fell from his lips as she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“And she is?” Emma egged Negan on and Negan laughed.

“None of your business,” Negan winked, looking over at Y/N for a moment. “Would you excuse us for a second? How about you go and get us a few churros over there? I’m kind of in the mood for something sweet.”

“Sure,” Y/N nodded with an unsure expression, but Negan pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed some money to her before waiting until she was far enough away from him and Emma.

“Sending her to the longest line here Negan, that was smart…” Emma retorted with a half laugh. “So that’s the new flame of the week, huh? Little young for you, isn’t she?”

“Fuck off Emma,” Negan snarled, looking to her with a shake of his head. “She’s of age and I love her. We’ve been together for a few months and she means everything to me. So I don’t need a snake like you trying to filter into her brain with your stupid psychobabble bullshit that you do.”

“You love her? Wow,” Emma chuckled; looking to Y/N as she stood in the fairly large line that Negan had sent her off to. “That’s new for you isn’t it? I thought Lucille was the only woman that you ever loved.”

“Yeah, well…times change,” Negan shrugged his shoulders, leaning forward on the bench. “I thought if I came here I could avoid people like you.”

“People that know the real you?” Emma snapped back making Negan take in a sharp breath. “What does a girl like that want with you? Your daddy’s money?”

“Up until this weekend she knew nothing about my parent’s wealth,” Negan insisted with a firm nod. “We’re good together. She loves me and I love her. We’re very much alike and that’s that.”

“So she’s a good fuck, huh?” Emma egged on further and Negan rolled his eyes. “Sex is a big thing for you Negan, she has to be pretty important to get you to want to be with her and be official, right?”

“I don’t know what you are trying to pull here Emma, but you did this shit with Lucille too and it worked on her,” Negan thought back to his younger years and he shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You think after all of these years you would just…get over it.”

“You think that’s what this is?” she questioned with a growl and Negan nodded, his thick eyebrows arching up as he nodded. “People don’t know the real you Negan. You like to pretend that you are this nice guy, but you can only put a mask for so long.”

Negan nodded and looked toward Y/N who seemed nervous and looked back at him. Negan waved his fingers and shot her a small smile. Y/N smiled back and stepped further up in the line.

“So tell me Negan…are you still really bad at sex?” Emma dug deeper at trying to annoy Negan. A laugh fell from Negan’s lips as he looked to her with a shake of his head.

“You know I’m not bad at sex,” Negan retorted with a snort. “The last time we fucked you had no problems with what I did.”

“Yeah, but the first time…” she began and Negan held his hands up in the air to silence her.

“You were the first girl I slept with Emma. Of course I was awful,” Negan laughed uneasily before shrugging his shoulders. “What the hell is the point of this? Why do you always want to pop in and try to fuck with my head and the head of people I love? I don’t even live here anymore. I’m here for the weekend. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to rekindle what has happened in the past…I’m here with the girl I love and that’s that. We’re just here to enjoy our time.”

“You do realize…you are just going to do what you always do, right?” Emma leaned forward in her seat. “You are your father’s son Negan. You know that.”

“I’m not my father,” Negan snapped, looking to Emma with a shake of his head.

“Really? Your father cheated on your mother. Your father was very abusive both mentally and physically,” Emma dug further into Negan watching his fists curl up in the center of his lap. “How were you with Lucille again?”

“I never physically abused Lucille and you know that,” Negan growled, his thick eyebrows adding emphasis to the anger that was pressing in over Negan’s face. “You’re just a bitch.”

“So tell me Negan, are you still all about you when it comes to sex?” Emma stood up and followed Negan toward the edge of the pier. “Just fuck until you cum? Does your new girl give the oral most of the time? You were always very selfish when it came to that kind of stuff.”

“I’m far from selfish,” Negan answered with a shake of his head. His face was on fire and he knew that Emma was trying to work him up, but he couldn’t help getting irritated. “In fact I make her cum all the time. The first few months we were together, I was always the one that was giving and not receiving. You remember how good I was the last time Emma and I think that’s why you are such a nasty bitch.”

“Can you blame me Negan?” she inquired and Negan shrugged his shoulders. “It sounds like you have everything figured out with this one, huh?”

“Yeah, I do…” Negan nodded, looking to see that Y/N was up at the counter to order what he had asked of her. “And what kills you is the fact that she’s the one I’m making squirt at night, not you.”

“Oh, right. You make her squirt,” Emma chuckled and Negan nodded with a proud smile. “Sure. I’d love to see that.”

“I’m sure you would, but I do,” Negan licked his lips and looked to Y/N with a proud smirk. “We’re very good together. Physically…and mentally. So if you will please piss off, I’m trying to give her a good weekend and I really would rather not see your face for the rest of this week.”

Negan moved around the brunette before him and headed off in the direction of Y/N to wrap his arm around her shoulders when she handed him over the churro that he had asked of her.

“I think we should go for a walk on the beach…” Negan urged Y/N before Negan headed off in the opposite direction of where Emma was. A moment later Emma cut them off and Negan let out a frustrated sound.

“Listen, we got off on the wrong foot. I just hope you have a good weekend,” Emma held her hands up in the air as if to say goodbye. “Keep an eye on this one. A lot like his father he is…”

“Negan,” Y/N stopped Negan from getting agitated and she pulled him away from the pier and urged him to follow her to the beachside. Negan’s face was red and she could tell by the way his nose was scrunched up and the lines that were over his forehead that he was angry. “Ex-girlfriend, huh?”

“I don’t even think that’s what I would call her,” Negan huffed and he felt Y/N reaching out to grab a tight hold of his jawline to urge him to look at her. “I’m really sorry. I should have thought about the past and how it could…”

“I don’t care about your past. You are honest with me about everything and I’m not worried about the past. I love you…all of you,” she hushed him seeing the lines his forehead relaxing as she stroked his rough cheek. “But let me tell you something…you are nothing like your father. You are a wonderful, sweet caring man. She doesn’t know you at all.”

“She probably knows me quite well…” Negan tried to state with a heavy sigh and Y/N shook her head slowly. “I wasn’t a good guy.”

“That was the past,” she insisted, tipping up on her toes to press a loving kiss over his lips and he felt her fingertips brushing throughout his hair. “We’re living in the present and that’s all that matters. Who you were then isn’t who you are now. You’re not your father. You never were and you never will be.”

Negan nodded, lowering his head enough to rest his forehead against hers while she held him in her arms. Negan took the time to just enjoy being held by her. Their relationship was so different in comparison to all his previous ones and he was surprised with how much he loved being around her.

“You should probably eat those churros you made me stand in line forever to get,” Y/N reminded him of the treat that was still in his hand. “I know it was just to get me away for a minute, but you better eat those after all the time I spent in line for that shit.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan snorted urging her to follow him to the edge of the beach by the water to sit down with him. Negan got settled in behind her, pulling her to sit between his legs while they sat on the beach together. His left arm hooked around her waist loosely while she rest back against his chest and he handed her one of the sweet treats. “You know I love you, right?”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of only getting used to you just saying this now,” she stated with a smirk and looked over her shoulder to see Negan taking a big bite of his food. “But I like hearing it.”

“And I like saying it,” Negan insisted with a mouthful seeing her smirk. “I feel like I should explain Emma.”

“Only if you want to,” Y/N shrugged. “It’s really none of my business unless you want it to be.”

“You’re really just going to be like that?” Negan retorted with a sense of confusion. A lot of women would want every single detail, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. “She was the first girl I ever slept with.”

“Oh, okay…” she shrugged and took a small bite of her churro. “That was a really long time ago I imagine.”

“Ouch?” Negan chuckled seeing her cheeks blush over with embarrassment. “I was never really interested in her. I loved Lucille and…”

“She’s one of the ones you cheated with?” Y/N confirmed and Negan nodded when she spoke up. “I kind of assumed that. When you are the mistress and the guy still loves the woman he’s cheating on, it probably makes you an angry bitch.”

“I’ve only loved two people and I think that killed her on the inside. It’s probably partially my fault that she’s a bitch,” Negan shook his head, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. “When I was with Lucille she got into her head and…”

“Tried doing to me today what she did to Lucille back then?” Y/N finished again and Negan nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to listen to people try to tell me about the man I know. I’m just going to listen to him myself. He’s honest with me and I know that.”

“I love you,” Negan was amazed with the way she was reacting toward everything as he tipped down to nestle his nose against the side of her neck. “You really are amazing. I hope you know that.”

“I can’t believe we’ve been here all weekend and we haven’t had sex here once,” Negan slurred against the side of Y/N’s neck as they stood on the beach together after going swimming in the water. She laughed as his stubble teased over the side of her neck. Negan wrapped his arms around her waist and felt her leaning back into his wet chest.

“There is still time,” she responded with a laugh when she felt him pressing playful kisses over the side of her neck. “To be fair, you’ve kept us so busy going around town that I’m pretty exhausted by the time that we get back to the house.”

“I just want you to have a good weekend. One that makes you happy,” Negan stated with a sigh, squeezing his arms around her tighter. Y/N reached down to grab her phone from the towel and pulled up the camera. When she went to take a photo of the water, Negan reached for her phone and grabbed a hold of the phone. He turned it on the selfie section and kissed over her temple taking a photo of the two of them. “We need more photos together.”

“Are you sure about that?” she confirmed and Negan nodded. “I thought you want us to be careful.”

“Are you thinking of sharing these?” Negan questioned and she shook her head slowly. “Then we are fine.”

Negan pressed in closer to her and kissed her while he snapped another selfie of the two of them together. Her cheeks blushed over when he looked at the photos and his nose wrinkled when he looked them over, “you’re going to have to send these two to me though.”

“Deal,” she winked, releasing him long enough to look to her phone again.

“You want to go four wheeling again? That was pretty fun, right?” Negan thought about the things they had done the previous day. When he looked over his shoulder to see her looking panicked, he stepped in closer and rubbed his towel through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“My father sent me a text message. Apparently he knows that I’m not at my friend’s house that I told my mother about,” she informed him with a nervous breath and Negan’s eyebrow arched up in interest. “He wants me to call him and tell him where I really am.”

“Fuck that,” Negan reached for her phone and looked through the text messages seeing the several messages that her father had sent clearly getting angrier each time he had texted her. “They never care where you are on most nights, so what does it matter this time?”

“I should write him back Negan. Come up with a good excuse as to where I really am,” she gulped and Negan shook his head turning her cell phone off after sending himself the photos of them together. “He’s pissed. Something is wrong.”

“You’re on vacation with me. You don’t have to worry about that right now, okay?” Negan insisted, stepping forward to urge her chin up toward him. “I want to take you somewhere. Erase this from your mind and I promise everything will be all right.”

“This was my favorite place to come and relax as a kid,” Negan pulled on Y/N’s hand, tugging her up toward the lighthouse that was right off the beach. She looked up at the lighthouse and saw him smiling brightly as he looked up at it. “My favorite thing was to come here as a kid at night and think things out. Think about my future and all that fucking shit.”

“Yeah?” she arched her brow in response, taking a moment to look around the area. From what she knew of Negan it didn’t really seem like a place he would have loved as a kid, but it sure was beautiful. The lighthouse looked like something you would have seen from a movie, it was that gorgeous. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Negan agreed and looked over his shoulder to wink at her. Negan motioned her to wait as he set up a blanket in the sand. The sun was setting and he urged her to lay down with him. “Later I can try to sneak us in so you can see the inside…”

“And get you in trouble? I don’t think so. The people here would love the story about how Negan got caught breaking into the lighthouse with his new, young girlfriend,” she snickered seeing him roll his eyes before leaning forward to press a soft kiss over her jawline. His kisses led toward her neck and she tilted her head up allowing him space to do as he pleased. “I take it you were quite the rebel growing up?”

“I’m still quite the rebel,” Negan insisted with a shrug of his shoulders, pulling away to look her over with his wicked glance. “I thought you would know that by now.”

Negan reached for his phone and took a photo of them with the lighthouse in the background of the photo. Negan leaned in to kiss her over and over again before she pulled away from him with a deep breath.

“Negan,” she looked to see that he was recording a video and he shrugged his shoulders. “Are you trying to be playing dangerously right now or…?”

“I just want something for the spank bank eventually when I’m alone,” Negan teased with a wink making her cough upon his admission. Her cheeks blushed over and Negan loved that he could make her turn red just with his words. She was so innocent and he loved every bit of it. Negan playfully teased his tongue over the front of her lips while he was still recording the video and he watched her shudder before he pressed stop. “You’re still tense, aren’t you?”

“I’m scared about my father,” she answered truthfully and felt him reach out to nudge her jaw with his rough fingertips. He carefully brushed her hair over her shoulder before moving in to kiss over the side of her neck again. “He knows I lied…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Negan insisted with a slur while he kissed over her neck and bit at her skin.

Her eyes closed feeling Negan’s tongue tracing lines over her flesh and she inhaled sharply. She wanted to just forget it, but she didn’t think she could. The consequences of this weekend truly had her in fear of what he father might do. “If they were looking for me that means that it was something serious.”

“It’s fine,” Negan hushed her, trying to get her to relax as he sat up straighter and held his finger up. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” she retorted with a confused look. Negan snapped his fingers almost in an order and she felt him nudging her into a position that he clearly wanted. A moment later there was a cool sensation pressing in over her neck as she heard the clip of something closing. “Negan?”

“You can open your eyes,” Negan responded, pressing soft kisses over her neck again. When she saw that it was the necklace from the night before he heard her gasp. “I know you didn’t want me to get it for you, but I just…had to. It looks beautiful on you and I knew you really thought it was beautiful.”

“When did you…?” she looked down at the necklace seeing the way it glimmered as the sunset shined from it. “Negan, I can’t accept this.”

“I can’t return it,” Negan shrugged his shoulders with a wicked smirk. “It’s yours now.”

“Negan…” he watched her frown and she reached down to trace her fingertips over the white gold chain that led to the charm at the bottom. Her fingertips grazed over the diamond and she felt her heart pounding inside of her chest. “You shouldn’t have done this.”

“I wanted to pamper my girl,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. “That’s why I left the other day. I ran back to quickly go get it. I know you are paranoid about me spending money on you, but I love you. You liked the necklace; I bought it for you to show you how much I love you. It will be our special thing.”

Negan reached out with his rough fingertips to grasp a hold of the diamond to look it over. A smirk pressed in over his lips and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I just want you happy,” Negan whispered, moving forward to press another kiss over her lips and he felt her arms wrapping around his shoulders to hold onto him tightly.

“You…make me happy,” she whispered in his ear, pressing a quick kiss over his flesh before pulling away to look down at the necklace again. Her eyes were tearing over and he reached out to brush at her cheek lovingly. “I don’t want you to think this is the kind of person I am.”

“I think you are a wonderful person,” Negan shook his head and frowned when a single tear slid down her face. “That’s why I fell in love with you Y/N. Shit…I’ve fallen hard.”

“You’re making me swoon here Negan,” she informed him with a half laugh, reaching up to brush her fingertips throughout his thick hair. “You are amazing.”

“I was thinking…” Negan began with a long sigh, reaching up to grab a hold of her fingertips in his. He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss over the back of her hand. “I know you are worried about your father. You are a lot. Why don’t you just move in with me?”

“I couldn’t do that Negan,” she shook her head firmly, a small laugh falling from her throat. “How are we going to hide that from people?”

“Very carefully,” Negan shrugged, attempting to think of something to say to make her feel comfortable with the suggestion. “I don’t care. I want to be with you. I want to keep you safe. I just want to make you happy.”

“I know and I love you,” she hushed him with a shake of her head. “I just can’t have you getting in trouble because of me.”

“Then let me buy you a place until you get a job. An apartment or something…” Negan reasoned with Y/N and she reached out to cup his rough face in her hands. His eyes seemed confused and upset as she shook her head. “Please. I want to keep you safe.”

“After you told me about the money Negan, I’m not going to accept these things. I want to be with you. I do, but I’m not a gold digger,” she insisted firmly. Moving in, she kissed Negan in a loving manner. “The necklace is enough to make me uncomfortable.”

“But it shows you are mine,” Negan reached down to trace his fingertips over the white gold necklace.

“I was yours long before this was on my neck,” she reminded him and a smirk pressed in over his features. Her fingertips brushed into his short beard and she leaned in to rest her forehead against his. “I didn’t need a necklace or something fancy to tell me that.”

“I want to protect you,” Negan sighed heavily, his warm breath pressing in against her face. “You are so scared and I don’t want something bad to happen to you. We can take measures to keep both of us safe. No one would know you are living with me.”

“If it ever gets to the point I think it has to be that way…then we can talk about it,” she suggested and Negan frowned, sighing heavily as he stared out at her with his sincere hazel eyes. She moved in to kiss him over and over again as he clutched tightly to her. “I love you Negan. More than you will ever know.”

“I love you too,” Negan stated against her skin, nipping softly at her bottom lip as they kissed. “So much.”

Negan stretched out on his leather couch at home as he scrolled through the photos he had taken over the weekend with Y/N on their trip. They had finished their trip and driven back on Sunday. They had gotten so many great photos while they were there and shared so many wonderful experiences. Their whole time away they had spent time doing things together and not once did they end up sleeping together. That wasn’t how most of his relationships had gone in the past and it was nice to have something different for once. Being able to share memorable moments together was something that he actually enjoyed and looking at the photos he’d taken of them together actually made him feel a sense of happiness.

The sound of his doorbell ringing was heard and Negan closed up his phone. Looking to the time, he could see that it was late at night. It had been a few hours since Y/N had headed home. When she had left, she was worried about her parents, but knew that she had to return to find out what was wrong. Moving to the door, Negan first noticed the bags at his feet in front of him and lifted his head to let out a gasp when he saw Y/N standing before him.

“Jesus Christ,” Negan blurt out reaching out to grasp at her face and he heard her wince upon contact. Negan pushed the hood that was covering her head down and took a look at her face. It was clear that she had been crying. There were small wounds over her eyebrow, under her eye and bottom lip. Her face was bright red and he could feel her shaking before him. “What the fuck happened?”

“Just…let me in?” she begged and Negan nodded, grabbing her bags to allow her into the house. Negan urged her toward the couch and he saw her shaking when she took a seat on it. She was still crying and Negan could feel his own body trembling with the sight of her. “I’m so sorry…”

“What happened?” Negan demanded to know hearing the shaking in her voice. She was trembling against his touch as he tried caressing over her face. “Baby?”

“I went home and my father cornered me. While we were gone they had apparently had gotten a call from my doctor who wanted to make sure I wasn’t having any bad side effects from my birth control pills,” she informed Negan and felt his body tensing up. Negan’s eyes grew wide as she nodded and nervously licked her lips. “Which apparently made them go upstairs to look through my things and he found some of the condoms that I had. They called my friend’s house that I was supposed to be at and found out that I wasn’t there and he’s been fuming all weekend.”

“That fucker did this to you?” Negan snarled seeing her nod slowly and he reached out to brush some of the blood that was dripping down her face away. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

She motioned Negan to wait and he saw her moving for the sweatshirt. She shook as she carefully pulled the material from her body and Negan could see that she was reaching for the back of her shirt. His heart pounded inside of his chest watching her pull up the back of her shirt to show that she had belt marks all up and down her back.

“He called me a whore and locked me in my room,” she told him about what happened and he could hear her start to cry harder. “That’s not the worst thing…”

“It gets worse?” Negan felt every muscle in his body locking up and he watched her reach inside the pocket of the hoodie to pull out the necklace he had gotten her. It was clear that the clasp was broken and he reached out to grasp her hands in his.

“He ripped this from my neck. Apparently he knows that it came from the person I was sleeping with,” she trembled before him and he could hear her sobbing by this point. “I’m so sorry Negan. I didn’t mean for this.”

“We can get the necklace fixed sweetheart, it’s okay…” Negan hushed her, holding her in his arms as he heard her sobbing. Negan pushed the necklace he had bought her into the pocket in his pajamas before continuing to comfort her.

“I snuck out the window… I can’t go back….” She insisted with a whimper and Negan slid his hand in over the back of her neck. Pulling her close in a supportive manner, Negan let out a stressed sound. Negan tried comforting her to the best of his ability. He hushed softly when he heard her continue to cry and stroked her hair in soothing way. More than anything he wanted to go and attack her father for hurting her. It broke him to see Y/N hurt and he absolutely hated it. “I’m so sorry Negan.”

“It’s okay,” Negan promised with a hush, pressing a tender kiss against her temple. “You never have to go back there again, I promise.”

Y/N trembled in his arms and he felt her cuddling her head into his chest as she cried. Negan felt the adrenaline rising inside of his chest. The way his heart was hammering caused Negan to inhale sharply. There was a strong sense of rage filling his veins and Negan knew that he couldn’t take it anymore.

“You stay here…I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Negan pulled away from Y/N, giving her a quick look before heading toward the front of the house. Searching through one of the closets, Negan found his baseball bat and grabbed a tight hold of it. Negan went to go for the front door until he felt her grasp desperately at his shoulder. “It’s fine…”

“It’s not,” she shook her head repetitively. “I left after they locked me in my room. I grabbed as much as I could and took off crawling out the window and climbing down. I don’t even know if he knows I’m gone yet. I can’t have you go there and get in trouble. You are all I have. If you get in trouble for hurting him…”

“He can’t do this. This is wrong. You should never hit a woman like this and you should never, ever treat your child like this,” Negan grunted with an angered sound. His body was shaking and he knew that he wanted to tear her father limb from limb. “He’s a piece of shit and this is what he deserves.”

“It is, but I love you. I love you and I can’t have anything happen to you,” she pleaded desperately and he felt her grabbing a tight hold of his wrist to stop him from leaving. Negan frowned and sighed before setting the bat down. “If I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”

“You’re not going to lose me, but he needs to be taught a lesson,” Negan insisted with a hiss and she nodded. Negan stepped forward to cup her face in his large hands and moved forward to kiss her. “We need to call someone. Tell them what he did because this is wrong.”

“No, we can’t,” she denied the offer and Negan was confused because this abuse was completely wrong. “If we go to someone and tell them what happened they are going to question why I came to you. Why it was you that I picked to go to after he beat the hell out of me. I don’t want you in trouble. I can’t have you losing your job because of me.”

“Something has to be done,” Negan demanded and he could feel her shaking in his arms. “Something…”

“Please Negan. I’m never going back there…I just…have to figure out what to do,” she stuttered, thinking of something to say. “I can’t tell people about this. I don’t want to be seen as broken. I don’t want people to know about…us. I can’t…”

“Relax,” Negan interrupted her with the shake of his head. “I love you, okay? So I’m going to do what you want of me. But fuck…if I see your father again, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I wanna fucking kill him.”

“I don’t even know what I would do if I saw him again,” she agreed and Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of her hand. He led her toward the kitchen and picked her up to place her on the island in the middle of his kitchen. Her soft cries filled the air and he wanted to kill her father for what he had done, but he was trying to do what she begged of him as he gathered some ice in a cloth and moved over toward her. He motioned her to hold it to her by her eye where the most swelling was. Quickly moving to the bathroom, he grabbed things to clean her wounds and moved swiftly to get back to her in the kitchen. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t go back there.”

“You’re going to live here,” Negan hushed her, his eyes staring into hers with a serious expression while he started to clean the gash on her lip. “I’ve been trying to get you to move in with me for a while now. You think I’m going to change my mind when you need me the most?”

“What about school?” she stammered and he shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t do this to you.”

“We’ll figure it all out,” Negan silenced her with the shake of his head. “Trust me. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. You are not going back to that house. You are going to stay here where I can protect you. Nothing like this is ever going to happen to you again, I swear.”

Negan heard her start to cry again and he reached out to pull her in closer to him so he could comfort her. He held her close in his arms trying to do his best to comfort her, but there was still part of him that felt responsible for this. He told her to avoid her father while they were on the trip and the only reason that she had condoms in the first place was because of him.

“I’m sorry I let this happen. I told you I would protect you and I couldn’t,” Negan grumbled with a heavy sigh, his lips pressing a lingering kiss against her temple. “This is all my fault.”

“No, no it’s not,” she denied his words and turned to touch the side of his face with her palm. “Imagine everything I would have gone through if you weren’t in my life.”

“But this…this is my fault,” Negan looked her over and he felt his body trembling with anger while he stared out at her. “I’m so fucking sorry and I promise I will never let this happen to you again sweetheart.”

“You have no control over my father,” she insisted seeing the sadness that was filtering over Negan’s face and she slowly lowered from the counter of the island to step forward. Her arms wrapped around him and he embraced her lovingly. “You are the best thing in my life Negan and I would be absolutely lost without you.”

#Negan #negan x reader #negans-network #negans thirst squad #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #twd fanfiction #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfic #my writing #the walking dead fanfiction #negan fanfiction

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joemazzhello · 5 years

Text

You Matter to Me

joe mazzello x (female) reader

words: 2k

a/n: this is my first fic i’ve ever written so be nice i guess and i’m writing this because of a thought i had after seeing this (by @rogershamsandwich idk if you want to be tagged but this started with your idea) and writing out this. I hope I managed to capture Joe but again I don’t really know what I’m doing. Also I hope this isn’t too specific because it is very much based off of my fantasies but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway.

disclaimer: I haven’t been to new york in ten years so I don’t remember much about broadway. I also haven’t actually seen waitress but I love the soundtrack and I know the plot. (Also I freaking love Drew Gehling as Dr Pomatter he fits the role so perfectly.) Finally, I don’t know much about Joe’s family life, so again it’s based on my imagination.

background: i love dad!joe more than anything so this is based of my continuous fantasy of married with three kids, two boys, 6 and 4, and a newborn baby girl

tags: @marshzzellow

warnings: just fluff, babies, and broadway

intro thingy: Joe knew that the one thing you always missed about living in America was Broadway. Ever since moving back home to England for your job, you hadn’t been able to see any broadway shows, and having just given birth to your third child, you and Joe struggled to even find the time to visit the West End. Now that it was time to visit Joe’s family in New York, you hoped you’d be able to see your newest musical obsession, Waitress.

With three kids, one of them being a newborn baby, traveling halfway across the world wasn’t easy. However, as you placed your bags down in Joe’s family home and watched your boys run into their grandmothers arms, you could finally heave a sigh of relief. You looked up at Joe, who came over and took your baby daughter out of your arms, giving you a peck on the lips and a huge smile while doing so. Watching your mother-in-laws face as Joe hands over your daughter, reminds you of why you go to so much trouble to fly out. Her unbridled joy lifts all the tension and worry off you for a moment as you see her holding your baby girl tight.

“Y/N, she’s so beautiful! She has your eyes.” You made your way over to her, thanking her and taking her into an embrace. “Is that a little ginger hair I see?”

“Yes, I’m afraid she takes after her father,” You answered jokingly. Beside you, Joe raises his eyebrows and fakes a shocked expression. “Is that such a bad thing?” he replies, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Only a little,” you respond, turning your head to place a kiss on his lips.

The sun was close to setting by the time you finally managed to calm down your boys from the excitement of seeing their American side of the family. They were watching TV in the front room with their cousins, while you fed your baby girl in the room that would be you and Joe’s bedroom for the next couple of weeks. Apart from the crib in the corner, and a small vanity, a big queen sized bed took up most of the room.

“Hello gorgeous.” You raise your head to see Joe poking his around the door.

“You talking to me or her?” You ask with a smile, beckoning Joe over to sit with you on the edge of the bed.

“Hmmm,” he ponders for a second, “I’d have to say both.” He takes a seat next to you, allowing you to lean your head on his shoulder, while you both stare lovingly at your daughter. You stay like that for a moment, surrounding yourself in the calming silence, only feeling the rise and fall of Joe’s torso and hearing the sucking of the milk from the bottle.

“I have a little surprise for you,” Joe whispers in your ear. You turn your head to meet his eyes. Spotting an excited gleam in his hazelnut eyes, your mind runs over all the silly ideas Joe might have come up with. He gets up and makes his way over to his coat on the back of the chair, fumbling through the pockets.

“Joe, we can’t go to karaoke, you’ll just get too drunk and I’ll-”

“What? No, of course we can’t do that, that’s a stupid id- AH! Found it!” You can’t help but laugh as a big grin encompasses his face and he pulls an envelope out of one of his inside pockets. He quickly makes his way back over to you on the bed, plopping himself down next to you excitedly. Your eyes meet his again, his holding a lot less confusion than yours. “Here, open this.”

After placing your baby girl on the bed, you take the envelope out of his outstretched hand, keeping your eyes locked on his eager ones. “Come on, open it!” he urges. You unfold the flap on the envelope, pulling out two pieces of paper. Your eyes scan over the writing before looking up at Joe once again, your mouth slightly open and your eyes wide. His smile appears again, wicked this time, knowing what he had just done.

“I-I-I, we-, how can-, what?” You stammer, looking again at the paper in your hands.

“I know it’s tonight which adds a little pressure but those are the only tickets I could get on such short notice however my mom promised to take care of the children plus my brother and sister are here too so it really shouldn’t be any worry if they have to look after the kids for one night-” You interrupt his rambling by pulling his face towards yours and putting your lips against his.

“How did you know I wanted to see this?” You finally say, pulling away from Joe. He smiles.

“It’s almost like you’ve been talking about it for weeks and weeks, checking the website for information about the West End run every other day, and listening to the soundtrack on repeat,” he answers, raising his eyebrows at you. You feel your cheeks blush, you had been obsessing a little recently. “The car will be here in an hour and a half, I hope thats enough time for us to get ready.” He smiles at you one more time. “Don’t forget to dress fancy, we’re going to see Waitress on Broadway baby!”

The cold breeze of New York city wind hit you like a brick in contrast to the stuffy and cramped air inside the theatre created by the hundreds of people who were trying to leave at once. You shivered. You could feel Joe’s hand in your’s, pulling you out of the crowd. Looking up at him, you could see the determination in his eyes as he darted between the groups of people, trying to get you out of the masses. When you finally made it to a quieter area, the almost freezing temperature set in and you started to rub your exposed forearms to create some warmth. Noticing this, Joe quickly takes off his jacket and places it over your shoulders.

“I know I’ve already said it a million times tonight, but you really do look wonderful in that dress. It’s a shame my jacket covers it up.” He grabs your hand, pulling it up and twirling you around. Giggling, you lean into his arm.

“So do you. Aren’t you going to get cold?” you ask. He wraps his arm around you as you walk, pulling you in tighter.

“Just stay right there and I’ll be fine.” Gently, he places a kiss on your forehead. “So did you enjoy it?”

The time flies by as you and Joe walk hand in hand through the streets of New York, rambling about the show and the songs.

“You know, I think you could make a great Dr. Pomatter,” you suggest. His eyes open wide.

“♪ You remind me of a girl I once knew, gah by now she’s well in middle age, probably 41 or 42♪” His silly singing voice filled your ears, he knew that singing one of your favourite songs from the musical could get you to laugh.

“No, seriously, I know you can actually sing you doofus. I think you’d be really good.” You smile up at him.

“Oh I don’t know, singing isn’t really my area of expertise.” He replies, glancing down at his feet. You love how shy he gets about his real singing voice.

“Just a thought,” you say, snuggling up closer to him. A quick glance at your watch reveals it’s getting pretty late. “Joe, as much as I’m enjoying this, I think we should head back.”

“Oh shoot!” he exclaims, “I didn’t realise it was so late. Ok, I’ll call a cab.”

By the time you finally arrive back, the house is encompassed in darkness. You fumble for the spare key Joe’s mum gave you in your bag, while Joe lightly bounces next to you, trying to fend off the cold.

“Come on Y/N, we can’t stand outside forever,” he whines playfully.

“Shhhhhh, I think everyone’s asleep.” Your fingers feel the sharp metal of the key, and you quickly pull it out and place it in the lock, finally opening the door and letting you and Joe into the house. You hold the door open for him, and he leans forward and kisses you while you wipe your feet on the mat.

“Thanks for a great night,” he whispers.

“I think I should be the one thanking you. You’re the best husband I could have asked for.” You kiss him back, a little harder this time.

“Joe? Y/N? Is that you?” You turn around to see Joe’s mum appearing at the kitchen doorway. “How was the show?”

“It was incredible!” You walk over and give her a hug. “How were the kids? Did they behave?”

“They were fine. We tucked the boys into bed a few hours ago and, as usual, the baby was nothing but cute the whole time.” She smiles at you and you laugh.

“I wouldn’t say that’s usual, she’s not so cute when she won’t stop crying at three in the morning,” Joe replies jokingly. As if on cue, you start to hear a small whimper from the baby monitor in the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll get her.” He pecks your lips one more time before running as quietly as he can up the stairs. You smile to yourself, gathering up your stuff before you start to follow him up.

“Are you heading to bed too?” you ask his mother, who was now heading into the front room.

“No dear, I’m going to finish watching my programme, but I’ll see you in the morning.” You say goodnight to her and head upstairs to see your little boys. The door into their room was slightly ajar, the calm light of the star nightlight bouncing softly off the walls. In each bed, your young boys were asleep, their duvets wrapped around them. You lent over each one, giving them each a kiss on the forehead and whispering goodnight. Heading back into the hallway, you close the door behind you and start towards you and Joe’s bedroom. As you get closer, you start to hear a gentle humming. Quietly, you push the door open and spot Joe in the corner cradling your baby girl.

“♪ could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me♪”

Joe’s delicate singing whispers through the room as you watch him rock your baby back and forth in his arms. Leaning against the doorway, you start to tear up, remembering the song from the musical and how much it means to you. You recall looking across to Joe in the theatre when they were performing this song and seeing the emotion in his eyes. In his arms, your daughter looks up at him, her blue eyes staring lovingly at your husband.

You stay there for a while, just watching him sing softly to your baby, something you hadn’t seen him do before with your sons. Joe loved to put on a crazy singing voice and scream with the boys, but moments like this, where you could hear the vulnerability in his voice and see the love in his eyes, were the truly special moments.

Going to shift your bodyweight against the doorframe, you accidentally step forward, the floorboard creaking underneath you. Joe spins around, your daughter now asleep in his arms. Your eyes catch his, a gentle smile appearing on your face. He glances down, his usual way of showing embarrassment. However this time, he sees his little girl in his arms sleeping peacefully and looks back at you, gleaming proudly.

“You sound wonderful,” you whisper as you approach him, placing your arm around his waist. You catch eyes again before pulling him into a kiss. Separating, you both look down at your baby in his arms. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. Joe bent down to place her in the crib, kissing her softly on her forehead as he did so. He stood back up. For a moment, you stood there in silence, just watching your daughter sleep. Joe encased you in his arms, he didn’t pull away, didn’t look at your face, didn’t try to kiss you but held on tight without an ounce of selfishness. To this feeling, you were addicted.

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello imagine #izzyimagines #you matter to me #waitress #musicals #dad!joe

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