not me looking at people’s merch as if i wear any of the merch for people that i already own :|

AKVILE MY BELOVED HOW ARE YOU???

how was the interview??? Hope it went well!!! 🥺 im sending you good luck and vibes so that you get the best position possible! As you may remember I had my interview as well and things went good I think! I might be moving to London soon for 2 years :0

So sorry for appearing and disappearing all the time heh I was quite busy the past few months.

I'm kinda excited for MCC but also I don't know who to watch! I usually watch George most times but I kinda miss hearing dreams voice lol but I also wanna see georges pretty face .... ahhh idk!

Oh! And I was thinking to get some dream and George merch but I like subtle merch....something that doesn't scream that is (minecraft youtubers) merch ya know... but I got no clue what to get.

Anyways hope u had a lovely day and make sure to drink water and get plenty of rest cutie 🥺💕

-🌰

hello my love!!! 💖💖💖 i am doing very good thank youuu! how about you? 😁❤️ i rambled sooooo much in this especially about job interviews lmaooo so putting it under read more 😂

my interview went really well thank you for asking :'D my first interview was brilliant and they invited me to the 2nd stage but apparently they all had a chat amongst themselves over the weekend and decided there's a different role i'd be more suited for as the one i originally applied for they thought i might get bored?? :') which is really exciting to me that they i guess kind of got a good idea of what kind of person i am, that i'm capable and exciting enough to take on a more interactive role and that they are genuinely considering taking me on!!

so i interviewed for the new role on wednesday, and the lady who interviewed me said the previous lady i was interviewed by spoke very highly of me :') so it was very nice to hear that, definitely raised my spirits and confidence, and by the end of this interview i was invited to the 2nd stage on the spot which was epic!! and 2nd stage is i believe the final one, i've been given a brief to do and i gotta create a presentation for them :)

they want to see my powerpoint skills, as well as creativity and critical thinking and i guess my confidence too - which i didn't have much of at all throughout my life but i feel like i gained a lot of it in the last few months so i'm really looking forward to it, i've been brainstorming a lot and gonna give my absolute 100% on this presentation! after wednesday i imagine i should hopefully have a pretty good idea about whether i'm getting the job or not so fingers crossed!!

i'm so glad that things went well for you!!! it sounds super super exciting, especially if you get to move to london omgggg you're gonna be in my ends!!! if you don't have an answer yet, then best of luck to youuuuu i hope it all goes well and you get the opportunity you deserve!! ❤️❤️❤️😁 i'm sure you absolutely smashed it!

interviewing can be so scary and daunting but honestly your biggest asset will always be your personality!! if you make them feel comfortable and keep them smiling, they won't worry as much about your experience and skill set if you don't think you have enough of it on paper, but it'll make them think 'oh i'd love to work with this person'. you know you're more than capable, you can learn and you can pick things up, and you'll make them believe that no problem, as long as the good mood is kept up during the interview!

one of the things i live by - and this is actually part of the company culture of my current workplace - is that people may forget what you said, people may forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel! when an employer has to sit through 10 interviews per day, they won't remember which person had a better track record or achieved higher statistics, but they will definitely remember the person who made them feel the best! so that's the aim for sure :)

don't apologise at all, it's nice that you're keeping busy, i hope you're taking care of yourself 😁

and hope you enjoyed mcc too!!! i watched george's pov i always do :') but i went to watch dream's a few times as well! it was a wild mcc haha i loved it

and totally agree with you on subtle merch, it's the best!!! that's why i love the 25 mil hoodie so much from dream, it's such a cool design that's not in any way obvious it's got anything to do with a minecraft youtuber :'D not that i'm ashamed of liking dream or anything, but i've just never been much into fan merch stuff. even my most favourite bands and musicians, i either don't have their merch or i don't wear it out idk. but the 25 mil hoodie is super cute and can totally be worn out so once it gets a lil colder it's probably gonna be a nice lil staple piece for me for casual wear :'D

get plenty of rest and water too my love, stay safe and good luck, thank you for coming back and checking in as always 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU 💖💖

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

Survey #270

“please remain calm; the end has arrived. we cannot save you; enjoy the ride.”

Do you own pastel-colored pants? No. What type of lotion do you use? I don't really use it. Nothing seems to help how dry my skin is. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pastel pink, but realistically (given a pink car would probably have a paint job I'd have to pay for, I assume?), I like burnt orange cars. Not too brown-ish, though. What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Pink, probably not, and no. Name someone you know who hates pink. Idk. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home." Do you kill bugs? Sometimes. Depends. If they're in my house, most likely. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? No. Do you own any rompers? No. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I made a birdhouse out of a milk carton once. Animal Planet taught me lol. Do you use window clings (aka window stickers)? No. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? Ugh, no, but that's one reason I want to move to somewhere I have a bigger room for a desk so I don't do everything in my damn bed. What do you miss about college? Feeling like I was worth something and on a "proper" path. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. What is/was your dream school? I never had a "dream" school. Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? Idk, probably someone. What motivates you? Music and/or videos on whatever subject I could use motivation in, like self-care on my bad days. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. Tried, though. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I went through a doctor appointment entirely without Mom just a few days ago; she had to stay in the car due to chemo, so I filled stuff out, checked in/out alone, answered questions on my own, that business. I'm entirely aware it's sad as hell that a 24 y/o did that for the first time, but if you knew just how dependent I am on my mom, you'd get it. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's when I actually have someone to celebrate with, but I love Easter as an aunt with how excited the kids are about candy and all. Easter sorta rubs me the wrong way though since, y'know, Christianity essentially stole and rebuilt it. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I myself don't even decorate. Mom only does for Christmas, and it's very last minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't drink Starbucks. What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? *checks phone* uh the one where I'm wearing a red tank top is okay. That's all you can see cuz FUCK taking full-body pics of me. What’s on your wish list right now? Ha, I actually have a list in my phone of things I really want/need to buy when I can. A few include a bigger terrarium to Venus, a treadmill, an Unus Annus shirt before the channel and thus merch expire, glasses for driving... What do you use to sweeten your tea? I don't drink tea. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, I don't wear enough colors or makeup in general to warrant buying one. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? The aforementioned doctor visit. How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low as like, the deepest oceanic trench probs. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Only ever to just be a goth to live out my inner fantasy of regularly flaunting that aesthetic. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Not particularly. Would you rather it rain or snow? Snow! What does your umbrella look like? Don't have one. What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? I'm guessing probably yes. Even though parts of it were entirely realistic, understandable reactions/behaviors, I most definitely had some toxicity in me regarding the breakup, too. Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? Uggghhhh, both are so cute. On me, I'd only ever wear tunic tops, but on others, I tend to find cropped tops cuter. What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don't pay enough attention to this to really know... hm. Yeah, idk. Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I could only dream of being as motivated and smart and determined and "I can do this shit" as Markiplier jfc I Love One Man Only. Do you like stuffed animals? EEEEEEEEK yes!!!! What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes; not to brag whatsoever, but too many for me to remember. I remember I got my very first B in 5th grade in I think math, and I was so bummed out. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I don't think so. Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? I'm content-ish, not happy, but also not unhappy. Is your bed right by a window? There's one to my upper right and middle left, but my bed's not exactly against either. Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? I barely leave my bedroom. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween, if I actually did decorate. Do you name stuffed animals still? Very rarely. Depends on what it is, the importance, etc. What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I FUCKIN READ THIS AS "TITTIES" AND WAS JUST LIKE... Anyway, none. Were you popular in school? No. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Only NC. Who was your best roommate? Well, Jason, if he even counted as a "roommate." Was your first roommate your best roommate? See above, considering idk if he fits the term; if he does, then yes. What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Disney World. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? Sophomore (bf was a senior and he took me) and senior. What do you want to be for Halloween? I was recently listening to a metal version of Oogie Boogie's song from TNBC and it hit me: MISS Oogie Boogie. A fat bitch could pull that shit off, watch me ho. Which member of your family are you closest to? My mom. If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting a boy become absolutely all that mattered and more to me. Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? Ew, no. I don't need any more people judging me and my life. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program that saved my life, literally. Do you have a hard time letting things go? It depends on what it is, but generally, yes. I recently realized one of my greatest flaws: I respond very, very poorly to loss, in any way. Looking back on people (especially people), events, other things... a negative, chronic reaction to loss is present throughout. What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy? Emotionally healed, a lot. I don't think some things will ever fully scar over, but nevertheless, I don't mentally have fuckin gashes in me. Have you ever struggled with your weight? Ever since the breakup, yes. I thought I was slightly fat before then, but looking at pictures now, I just think "damn hunny u look gud" and realize I was perfectly healthy. But anyway, I was put on a medication called Abilify (full-on name droppin', fuck this med), and it MURDERED my metabolism. I could eat a fuckin carrot and gain five pounds, probably. Emotional eating probably contributed too, but here's the thing: my current doctor took me off of it, knowing the moment I mentioned it that it was not only bad for me and my conditions but also responsible for the extreme weight gain? Pounds dropped like a ton of bricks, and this started before my emotional eating began to die off and regulate. I lost around 80 pounds just from dropping a goddamn pill. Cue college essay-long rant here about how my body image was slaughtered, how much I loathe the fucking doc that kept me on the med and blamed everything on me, and now how I've been stuck weight-wise for two years despite a vast plethora of methods to continue shedding a;sdlkfajkwlelawe GUYS I could rant til my hypothetical great-grandchildren die. When you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? It depends on who the friend is, where we are, etc., but generally, I'm just awkward, trying to be outgoing when in fact I'm questioning every single thing I say and do al;wekjrkawde this survey has taken a TURN. Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I don't leave my pj's unless I have to leave the house and go inside somewhere besides like, a gas station or something that's just "whatever." In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I wouldn't say a *lot*, no, but not a tiny amount, either. The only one I ever still see is Girt, but I keep up with many on Facebook via the like button and shit, ha. Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming? Fuck yes I do. Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Juan sure was, but I haven't been in contact with him for years. Would you ever have a threesome? No. Who is the most attractive person you know? Of those I personally know-know, my answer will probably always be Alon like jc she's beautiful. When did you last feel the most free? ZOINKS we can't ask that question in America rn. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don't know. Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong? Love? No. Well, before I realized I was bi, maybe Mini counts, as then I was anti-LGBT and couldn't even imagine myself as anything but straight. What’s your favorite bug? Butterflies. What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? Yeesh... I still can't say with absolute confidence I no longer love Jason at all, whom I started dating in 2012 and went head over heels for. What song makes you cry? There's a few that are capable of it sometimes, but do fucking not play "Stairway To Heaven" if I'm within 10 miles of you. "Another Life" by MiW usually makes me tear up towards the end, but it normally doesn't get that far anymore. Do you like rock or rap music better? Rock, as I'm not a rap fan. If you could watch someone change, would you? Yes let me live my life a;lsdkfjaws Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I don't know. I think maybe? Have you ever had a white Christmas? I think? The best snow we ever got was late Christmas night though, and the next morning was a total whiteout. What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? Hm. Idk. I'm pretty sure of most things I want to do. Biggest lie you ever told? I'm not entirely sure and I'd rather not search for one. Do you have a religion? I don't fit perfectly into any. I relate most with Neo-Paganism, but even that I deviate from some. Believe that there is a point to churches? I mean sure, people have the right to believe in/worship what they want to, and some people get a lot of joy and reassurance out of going. How do eat Oreos? "I split them in half and lick the cream before eating the cookie." <<<< Converse or Vans? Idc. Eh, maybe Converse, but idk. Dancing or watching others dance? I love watching others dance, it's why I enjoyed dance recitals and competitions. Favorite thing to touch/feel? My cat! <3 Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? Both would be horrifying, but I guess earthquake. I've had an outrageous fear of tornadoes since I was very little. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa, duh. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Start a fight, I guess. Trying to sully someone's name with false information would haunt me way more than starting an understandable fight. What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I don't know. What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? Uhhh I think maybe butterflies? Idk, even that's not too weird considering it's an insect, and that's common. I'm personally absolutely terrified of pregnancy and also whale sharks scare me quite a bit. ig that's weird. How did you find Tumblr? lol how could you not know at some point as a teen on the Internet. What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? I had to look them up lmao. I guess the Great Pyramid of Giza. I in general find Egyptian culture and art to be very cool. Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I mean, it's built into the laptop. I never use it. What is something that you think is really underrated? The band Otep, for one. I mean they're not small, but I don't think most people interested in the metal genre know them. OH and then there are A LOT of YouTube artists that MADLY deserve to be signed. I have a large chunk of metal musicians I listen to, and those especially like Jonathan Young blow my fucking mind they haven't technically "made it," even if they have a large subscriber base. Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? Yes, a few. Now hang with me, okay? One of my worst nightmares as a kid involved the wicked witch from TWoO turning me into one of those fucking party things that you blow into it and the paper unfurls and her using it killed me. Yo idk. I was really scared of that witch as a kid. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? It involved my dad and that's all that needs to be said. Realistic? Hm. This was SO long ago that I barely remember *just* how real it felt, but I remember it felt real as fuck. I was very little when this happened. I dreamed that I went outside to our porch because there was a weird light and when I stepped outside, a swan and a goose flew down from the light onto the porch to become my late grandpa and my deeply beloved cat Midnight, who died from sickness. I'm sure it was just a dream now, but back then, I was VERY convinced it was like a vision from God or something, telling me they were okay and with us. Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what? What do you think was the worst fashion trend of all time? I don't care about fashion enough to go in depth about all this. I'll tell you right now though that mullets were the worst mistake known to mankind. Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake? If you're remaking an old one, I'll probably like it more since they're generally not nearly as cheesy. Modern horror movies, I don't have much of a preference. My fave is The Blair Witch Project, and it's an original. What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics? Those that act violent when they're angry, for one. Those scare me. Some traits that I really like are compassion, patience, genuineness, empathy, kindness just for the sake of being so, stuff like that. I'd like to think I've got some of those. It's notable that in my nightmares, I'm way more violent than I actually am, though. What kind of jeans do you like best? When I actually wore jeans, they were like solely skinny jeans. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup after a long-term relationship and falling way, way too hard to be healthy. Does it still bother me? PTSD is stapled on my fucking forehead if you know the slightest about it. I've healed a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure it's a scar that's never going to even fully seal.

Got tagged by @thequantumranger to do 21 questions. Thanks! I tag... uhhhh nobody... bc i can’t remember who likes doing these things. @yoshis i guess? WAH sorry send me a msg or do it anyways if we’re mutuals and u love this stuff! i’ll try and keep a list next time i’m sorry lol!

Nickname: robert Zodiac: fish Height: 5′10″ Last thing I searched: why google was ruining net with .webm/.webp format lol. also grandia 1 stuff. also pc88 stuff. Favorite bands: yellow magic orchestra, boards of canada, cibo matto, capsule, deerhoof, fatboy slim, boris, denki groove, rammstein, todd rundgren, towa tei, etc... Song stuck in my head: denki groove - mononoke dance If I had a time machine would I go to the past or the future: sometimes i think i would commit horrible acts to be able to go back in time and fix my childhood. i’d wanna fix other more important things but i’d be afraid to screw everything else up. it’s incredibly selfish but... Do I get asks: sometimes! i really love them like please send me asks! Following: hah idk i tend to grab ppl who post old pxel art/anime or who followed me and seem v cool. Rich or famous: neither? though with money i could help people and with fame i could point out places that need help... i guess rich tho i’d be giving most of it away. Amount of sleep: horrible. i have a major sleep issue. recently pills have helped a little tho. Lucky number: 42 (IM SUCH A DORK SRRY I RLY VIBE W HHGTTG), 2099. What am I wearing: just plaid pajama pants bc it’s so HOT. and black and neon yellow (ohh) silk (ahh) boxers (ooo) idk why i’m telling you this lol... Dream job: musician. artist. that whole not working thing is a good idea too? Dream trip: japan. or like? everywhere. i almost never get to travel but i love it... If you were an animal, what would you be: crow. annoying. smart n all but only uses it for dumb things that other ppl find pointless. Favorite food: pizza! fruit (even tho i’m allergic to many). actually my fav ever is just water. i genuinely adore water so much! What are some favorite books/films/shows/games:

Manga: air gear, monster musume, jojos, yuuna and the haunted hot springs, akira, love hina, bnha, goodnight punpun, ghost in the shell, cromartie high school, evangelion, knj, junji ito stuff, rumiko takahashi stuff, JUST A LOT MORE SORRY.

Books: the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, 1984, brave new world, discworld, i’m blanking srry...

Games: final fantasy vii, castlevania sotn, jet set radio future, earthbound, vb wario land, mario64/smw, zelda lttp/64, resident evil 3, mystical ninja, silent hill 2, sonic 3 and knuckles, snatcher, killer7, phoenix wright, hotline miami, undertale, shin megami tensei, etc etc etc etc etc.

Shows: peep show, arrested development, father ted, trailer park boys, curb your enthusiasm/seinfeld, the office (us/uk), star trek, twin peaks, more i’m forgetting. (anime): nichijou, evangelion, fist of the north star, jojos, flcl, kemonozume, azumanga dioh, tenchi muyo, etc etc etc.

Films: blade runner (and 2049), 3-iron, jurassic park, lethal weapon, my name is nobody, scott pilgrim, phoenix wright, toy story. (anime): ghost in the shell, akira, miyazaki stuff, a lot more i’m forgetting...

Play any instruments: piano/kb (not great but trying), guitar (worse), harmonica (who cares tho lol), drums (awful). just a lot of things but i never get good weh. Languages: sadly only english. i’ve tried japanese and german etc but i’m bad at learning em! Aesthetics: anime girl, pixel, techno, neo-futurism, old japanese computers, virtual boy, manga, vaporwavey, vhs, looks normal or even punky or “tough?” irl but goes home to a room covered in cutesy moe anime girl merch.

1218

Have you ever been to Australia?  Nope. Not really on top of my travel lists when it comes down to it, but it would be lovely to visit nonetheless. I'd be most excited to try their local food.

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Kate, our HR officer.

Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it.  I am not.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Aya. But we’re not really friends anymore.

Ever wear out a CD? What was it?  I don’t think so. I’ve broken CDs before but it was always because I had been a kid then and I constantly mishandled them.

What’s your favorite card game? I’m not into card games.

What’s your favorite fast food meal?  I usually flock to burgers and fries. Fast food rice is blechhh so I never get any meals with them, which are usually paired with fried chicken.

Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at?  Torch. Prices are no joke either, so I don’t get to order from there a lot.

Lamb chops or pork chops?  I have pork chops more frequently and I love them, but I’d go with lamb chops. More expensive so I get them less often, but I do like the taste of lamb more.

If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be?  I imagine this would be so inconvenient after just a few hours...but idk. Based on my mood now, maybe Still With You by Jungkook.

Ever heard of Shinedown?  I have. I used to have a mutual who was obsessed with them. Never listened to their music, though.

What size is your bed?  Just a twin-size.

What is the first meal you remember eating?  I no longer remember that.

What was the first movie you ever saw?  Stuart Little 2.

What percentile of your class were you in?  I’m not sure about percentile, but I was just above average. Never topped the class but wasn’t behind academically, either. In our batch of around 165, I remember my ranking peaking at like 26. I don’t know what the equivalent percentile for that is.

Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex?  Yeah, I didn’t like being too adventurous anyway.

What forms of birth control have you used?  Same-sex relationship.

Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes?  Sponge. OMG I hate touching wet cloths/fabric.

What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now?  Butter.

Ever punched a wall?  Nope.

What was the last bug you killed and what did you use?  An ant. My finger.

Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket?  Yes, because he noticed I was in uniform, as were my orgmates then. And I’m guessing it was also because he could tell we were all young, so he let us go.

What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? < Hey, same!

What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you?  My education.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?  I’ve spent the most on my merch collection so far; but as for an individual item, I’ve spent close to 5k on a photobook set. I haven’t really ventured out to start spending on more adulting stuff yet, lol.

What is your favorite cover song?  Paramore’s cover of Passionfruit by Drake, or Hayley Williams’ cover of Teardrop by Massive Attack.

Did you ever drop out of school?  Nope, I did everything in one go.

Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months?  I have not.

Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you?  I’ve only had basics done on me. 

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort?  The extremely few times I had to go to the physical office, my co-workers put on some music, yeah. It had been a very chill atmosphere and they simply turned on YouTube on the TV and put on a playlist of BTS and Taylor Swift songs.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely?  Mac.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you?  Yes, I hate how the tags feel for the most part. The only time I don’t cut them off is if the brand is on the pricey side.

How many times a year do you go on vacation?  Under normal circumstances, around 3-5 with my family.

What is your favorite time period in history to learn about?  It’s easier for me to say what periods I find a little boring: medieval/dark ages and anything about wars. Every other period I’d happily soak up like a sponge.

What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news?  Mmmh, probably kids dying from freak accidents and seeing the parents get interviewed. Just last night I had to hear about a 4 year old who ran towards a car while playing outside. Hearing the dad cry and plead was gut-wrenching.

In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know?  Idk, maybe those that live in the super deep sea and look nothing like what we would usually perceive as normal sea creatures.

What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble?  I guess it would have to depend on the issue you find yourself stuck in. But I think being able to control time would be convenient, since you can just easily undo mistakes.

Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…?  No. That would invalidate experiences for a lot of people. :/

Why are you best friends with your best friend?  She’s always been supportive and stuck by my side no matter what I’ve been through. We also have great chemistry and have always shared the same sense of goofy humor.

Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future?  No.

Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make?  I’d just make sashimi everyday.

What do you think of when you look at the stars?  I tend to reminisce when I do so. Think about what’s happened in the past, people who’ve left, what I’ve lost...and that there’s probably good reason why things are the way they are now.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. < Well there we go.

What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends?  Travel the world.

What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean.  Ariel. Pretty fucking clumsy, prioritizes the wrong things out of love.

What do you think is the most important thing in this life is?  Happiness.

Do you use any acne medication?  Nah, I just splash my face with water every morning.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go?  [This survey seems to be a mix of a few surveys, so some of the questions - like this, I’ve already answered. I’ll be striking out the ones I’ve already delved on but if you’ll take this survey as well, feel free to remove the strike!]

Do you still have a landline phone in your home?

Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go?  LOL just home. I work from home, and I’m usually exhausted during the weekend to want to go out.

How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is?  A few times a week for work. Most of the time we communicate just through audio, but there are a few meetings or clients that prefer video.

Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  It’s a number combination, but I seldom get to use it. I usually rely on thumb ID.

What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store?  Not a liquor store but I just got a few bottles of beer from 7-Eleven.

Is there any cereal in your house? What kind?  We don’t. We’re not really a big cereal-eating family.

What's the most number of people you've ever lived with?  11. That’s a set of grandparents (2), my family (4), my mom’s older brother’s family (4), and my mom’s younger brother (1).

Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? 

Do you have any pets? How long have you had them?  I have two. 13 years with Kimi, a year with Cooper.

What's your favourite kind of cheese?  Feta and mozzarella.

Have you danced in the rain?  Once or twice, when I was a lot younger.

Who is your favorite person to text?  I don’t text anymore, but I frequently communicate with Angela on Messenger.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans?  My favorite pair is from Zara, but I don’t have a go-to brand for jeans per se.

Do you enjoy Mario games?  Not all of them, but sure.

What’s your favorite online game? I don’t play games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class?  Possibly. Not remarkable enough for me to remember though.

Who was last to cook for you?  Dad.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave?  I would love to. I had the chance to explore one during our trip to Sagada, but the tour guide decided against it since I had the wrong footwear and it wasn’t going to be safe if I tried. :( I did get to go to the underground cave in Palawan though, and that was a really fun experience.

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?  I’d give her a small, polite/curt smile and maybe wave, then go on with whatever it was I’ve been doing. Of course, I doubt it would actually go that way because I believe she’d run for the hills if she ever spotted me.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high?  No. I would refuse to, especially if they were the one driving.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed?  Yeah, for too long.

Have you ever held a snake?  I have! A few times.

How often do you have friends over to your house?  Almost never. Angela and Hans coming over for Sowoozoo two weeks ago was just an exception.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally?  No, I wouldn’t say that.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? 

Do you have any exercises you do everyday?

Are you more of a dog or cat person? 

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? 

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? 

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? 

Do you know someone who’s been cremated? 

What is your favorite animated movie? 

Did your grandparents teach you anything?  Just some religion stuff and how to be a nice Catholic and all. Doesn’t apply to me, obvs, but I still outwardly listen out of respect.

Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree?  Yes.

Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite?  I am most definitely not. 

Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it?  Sure, a few times. Yes, it was fun and hilarious.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones?  Just the basic ones like truth or dare and never have I ever.

Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger?

Have you ever been to Mexico?  No, but would be nice to travel there.

Have your parents ever worked in medicine? No, not their field.

Is there anything unusual about your house?  We don’t have a gate, which has always bugged me.

How many serious relationships have you been in?  One.

Do you listen to Rise Against?  Much more when I was in high school. I haven’t revisited their music in years.

When was the last time you congratulated someone?  Reggy since she posted her graduation portrait the other day.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby?  Nah.

How old were you when you got your ears pierced?  Like a month old, I believe.

Do you snore when you sleep?  Rarely. A snore or two would usually come out only if I’m extremely exhausted.

What was the last type of burger you ate?  A Baconator from Wendy’s.

12 Days | Chapter 8.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

“I want to ask what the origin story behind this is, but I think I’m better off not knowing,” Tom typed. He attached a “selfie” wearing a bright blue shirt with the word “Wowie” printed on it in a strange fashion. Then, he sent the whole thing to Ethan.

He did see the other texts from the boy that he received the evening before, but Tom was dying to show this to him now. He finally had a look at what Ethan’s “merch” was like. To say he was not expecting “wowie” on a t-shirt was an understatement. Why “wowie”?

Halfway through editing this video, Tom kind of despised Ethan… and he definitely hated the word “Wowie” with a burning passion. It wasn’t all bad, though. Tom had spent the day with a funny pair of people: Parker and Andrew. He didn’t have to consciously act like Ethan to get along with the pair. They were so graciously weird that seeing their friend act out of character was considered normal for them… if that made any sense. The three of them, along with Amy, made a video together that was about this awful blue t-shirt. A promotional video, and instead of having a whole filming crew complete with camera men and editors, it was all self made. It was impressive, don’t get him wrong, but Tom only thrived when he was on camera, not behind the scenes.

It was a minute and a half long video, yet it was taking ages for him to put it all together. Not to mention, Tom was awaiting an update from Ethan about Zendaya. Earlier, he had said that she wanted to talk, and god knows what that was supposed to mean. On top of that, Bella was getting a little harder to handle.

Tom had invited her to come along to shoot the video, but she had gotten immensely sheepish and timid when she heard about the people who would be joining them. She made an excuse about having emails to answer and business Skype meetings to have. She only returned to his apartment after hearing that Parker, Andrew, and Amy had left for the day, and even then she just stayed in the living room while Tom finished the video. Weird, but whatever.

A few hours later, Tom could say he was proud of what he had created. The video was very sarcastic, and kind of funny, but it got the message across: “Buy this ugly ass shirt.” Really, he didn’t see the appeal, but Ethan’s fans sure did. The shirt had been on sale on Ethan’s merch store all month, and as of today, there were only ten days left to buy it. Tom learned all of this through Parker, who had a hand in running the store. Thank god he wasn’t left in completely in the dark.

Thing is, Tom easily learned about different aspects of this kid’s life. He knew the girlfriend, a good amount of the friends, and just enough about his personality to get by. The hard part was the YouTube stuff, because everyone around him assumed that he knew what he was doing. They all assumed he was Ethan. How bizarre would it be if Ethan just suddenly asked for help on the basics of editing a simple video? How long would it be for someone to figure that this wasn’t Ethan, that it was somebody else? What would they do, besides throw him in an asylum?

A knock on the bedroom door snapped Tom out of his thoughts. He pulled off his headphones and granted access.

Bella came in, an unreadable expression on her face. “Hey…”

“Hi, love,” Tom greeted, turning in his chair to face her.

She stepped in, looking around the room as she tangled her fingers together. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, I’m just…” She sighed. “This is really stupid, like really stupid…”

“Oh, how bad could it be?” he asked, putting on a kind smile, despite how nervous the sudden tension made him.

Bella picked at her nails to fill the silence. But she finally asked in a soft voice, “why didn’t you ask me to be in your video?”

Honestly, Tom had been hoping she had that conversation with her real boyfriend. Even he found it weird that the “talking to women” bit from the video starred Amy. Why not Bella? It probably wasn’t something to fuss about, but the girl’s nerves radiated for miles, it made Tom himself feel like he had done something wrong. He didn’t even know how to respond.

“I mean, you and Parker came up with the video idea like what? Two weeks ago,” she rambled, “and you guys came up with the ‘talking to girls’ thing and your first thought was Amy? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I-I mean she did come up with the shirt design…”

Ah, so that was the culprit.

“I-It’s not that I wanted to slap you - uh, fake slap you for a video,” Bella went on, her voice getting shaky, “i-it’s just you didn’t think to ask me, I don’t know. Am I freaking out over nothing?”

“You freak out over everything,” Tom said without thinking. There was a small pause before he turned back to the computer.

“I know, it’s what I do,” Bella said, not seeming offended by that statement. “It probably wasn’t a big deal. I shouldn’t have bothered you, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Any other thoughts, concerns?” It was half sarcastic, but she took the bait.

“I’ve been… having dreams…”

Ethan was supposed to know that tone, what that particular phrase meant. Tom, on the other hand, was clueless.

“Naughty dreams?”

“No.” Bella’s tone was serious now. She paced around the small recording space, still picking at her nails. “Bad dreams. I’ve had dreams like this before… Ethan, please don’t make me say it.”

It had been five days since the switch, five days of being this girl’s boyfriend, and Tom was getting more and more impatient.

“Don’t talk about it then,” he said with a shrug. “If it’s really that scary, or disturbing, or whatever it is... then you don’t need to speak of it.”

Again, it was silent. Tom definitely said the wrong thing, but he didn’t know how to handle a girl with anxiety. He could barely handle Zendaya, even though he hoped to fix things with her.

“You’re probably right,” Bella spoke at last. She turned on her heel towards the door. “No one wants to remember that time, especially me.” She stopped at the doorway and looked back at him. “Oh, and I just figured out why I was freaking out over Amy. It’s been almost a year since Mark left me for her.”

Whoa. What would Ethan say to that? What would Ethan think about his girlfriend mentioning her ex?

Speaking of the ex, Tom’s phone dinged on his desk. Mark had texted him. Admittedly, Tom wasn’t really texting anyone consistently apart from Ethan. He had also ignored Mark’s texts from the other day, so there was a chance he wasn’t on good terms with the boss.

“Hey look man, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but I need an answer. Are you going to be returning to work anytime soon? Or do we need to make a public statement that you don’t work for me anymore? I’m not trying to put pressure on you, or anything with malice. I just need to know what’s going on business wise.”

Public statement? So the fans knew Mark had editors? And there had to be something said publicly when something changed behind the scenes? Is that how YouTube works?

“I think my girlfriend is hung up on you, you’re the last person I need to see right now,” Tom typed for literally no other reason except to see if it sounded like something his other half would say. He chuckled to himself after deeming that it was too ridiculous and out of line and went to delete it…

You know when you mean to do one thing but instead do another? Yeah, Tom somehow mixed up the ‘send’ key and the ‘backspace’ key, and well…

“Fuck!” he snapped, sitting up in his chair, watching as the angry text sent. “No, no, no, no! Shit!”

Oh god, Ethan was so fired.

~

Tom didn’t have the heart to tell Ethan about the wonderful conversation he had with Mark following that text. He read through the messages he received while he was editing over and over again just to avoid telling him what went down. Ethan seemed excited to be in Montreal.

“So guess I have a workout tomorrow morning? Wish me luck bc I’ll actually die.” That’ll be fun to hear about, but it didn’t settle the knot in Tom’s stomach.

“I’m almost ok with the switch if it means getting to stay in this house dude it’s so nice?? I’m never leaving.” Tom was not okay with the switch. He wanted to be in that house right now, leave Ethan with the mess that he made.

“I finished the wowie video. I hate the word wowie. Please never say it again,” he typed and sent before reading the rest of the texts. He noticed that Ethan will either be completely silent, or send multiple texts at once. No in between.

“Also,,,,, fuck kinda friendship you got with Harrison? You give each other lap dances???” Ethan asked. Oh no. Oh god. “Not judging, just wish I’d known you were rejecting zendaya for ur best m8 lolol.”

Tom literally groaned out loud and palmed his forehead. Then, he frantically sent, “IT WASNOTHING WE DONT SPEAK OF IT SHUT UP.” No way he was getting into that with this guy. He wouldn’t understand.

The next message didn’t help very much. “Speaking of Daya, we talked today. She asked abot how you feel and what you thought you 2 had going on. Made it clear it was her choice what happened, but that you’re just friends? Idk man how DO you feel?”

“Anyway, the videos were good. Much better than Tyler’s first edits for sure. Good job, I’m impressed.”

“Shooting starts tomorrow so I’m off to learn everything there is to know about acting…….. By watching some movie wiht the guys, gn.”

Tom sat there for a few minutes, trying to word any of the thoughts in his head. Why couldn’t have Ethan made the Zendaya decision for him? He seems like a nice guy, he’s had a girlfriend for six months, and she didn’t seem tired of him!

“I’ll deal with her when we switch back… by the way when are we gonna switch back??? Anyway, have a good night mate, have a pint for me!”

_____

tag list: @beardedsteveslut @marie-is-in-the-dark @ohsnapitzmoony

_____

next

329.

What is the most physically painful thing you have ever experienced? >> I assume it’s cramps because that’s the only painful experience I’ve had often enough to have a solid, semi-accurate memory of. Maybe, say, cutting my face (or getting my face stitched up) hurt a fuckton, but while I have a vague memory of it happening, I have no memory of the way it all actually felt. So it is for every possibly-painful event I can still recall... except for cramps.

What is the worst thing that's ever happened to you? >> *shrug*

What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? >> In person? I don’t know, probably something in the mountains in Colorado. Or maybe in upstate New York.

How old were you the first time you encountered God? >> I have never encountered the God you speak of, but the first time I encountered a god I was in my mid-to-late 20s somewhere.

Do you believe in miracles? >> Not really. I believe that strange things happen, but the only reason we think they’re so strange is because they go against our admittedly-flawed predictive models of how the world works.

What is your favorite color? >> Gold.

List three attributes you inherited from your mom. >> ---

Have you ever given your life to Christ? >> I tried. He didn’t take it. Which is good, because it actually doesn’t belong to him anyway, no matter what a bunch of puffed-up holy rollers try to tell me.

What is the best thing that's ever happened to you? >> *shrug*

Have you ever given birth to a child? >> Gods, no.

What are your dreams? >> I don’t have any dreams.

Are you living your dream? >> I’m living something better, a whole-ass real life.

What are three things you have been a victim of? >> *shrug*

What is your passion? >> I don’t have any passions, I don’t think.

When was the last time you truly felt alive? >> I don’t know how else I would feel??? What’s the alternative?

How many siblings do you have? >> ---

Are you married? >> Not currently.

Are you dating someone? If not, do you wish you were dating someone? >> I’m not dating anyone and I have no desire to be dating.

What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? >> Theme? The theme is just... ravens and death and... absinthe? The theme is New Orleans in general, because that’s where it’s being held. Also, Wednesday. He’s a theme too.

Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? >> It’s going to be outdoors.

What do you want to name your kids if you have a girl and a boy? >> ---

Do you like to read? >> Sure.

What are your top three favorite books? >> The Fountainhead, The Phantom Tollbooth, idk what’s third.

What are three of your favorite scents? >> Peppermint/menthol is the only one I can remember off the top of my head.

Is your birthday in your favorite season? >> Yeah.

What kind of car do you drive? If you don't drive, do you want to a car? >> I am only a Driver inworld. I never learned how to drive outworld and it really doesn’t bother me (although I’d like to do it for fun a few times).

Where do you live (state or country)? >> Michigan, United States.

What states (or countries) have you lived in? >> NJ, NY, CO, NC, MI.

What is your name (first and middle)? >> Mordred Shadow.

Does your first crush know you liked them? >> ---

What is your favorite type of seafood? >> ALL OF IT

Do you wish on stars? >> No.

Have you ever wished on the moon? >> No.

What color was your first phone? >> Grey, I think. Probably.

When is your birthday? >> 28 May.

What is your favorite season? >> Spring.

Who was your first roommate? >> IDK

Are you happier now than you were 10 years ago? >> Overall, probably. But I can’t really say because I don’t truly remember how I felt about my life ten years ago. I just know I’m happy now.

Are you happier now than you were 5 years ago? If not, why not? If yes, why? >> See above.

Do you live in your dream house? >> I don’t have a dream house. Also, I live in an apartment.

What hurts your heart? >> Stuff.

What are three of your favorite colors to wear? >> Black, grey, olive.

What color are your eyes? >> Dark brown.

What are your top three favorite colors? >> Gold, purple, green.

Who was the last person who said something that warmed your heart? >> I’m not sure what that feeling is. I mean, I’m not saying I’ve never felt it, it’s just that if I did, I didn’t recognise it as “my heart being warmed”, I don’t use that kind of wording.

Who was the last person who hurt you? >> Someone who didn’t deserve that power, so it’s really me that hurt myself in that case. I shouldn’t have put myself in the position to be hurt by someone who wasn’t providing any real tangible benefit to my life, no matter how I thought I felt.

What are you allergic to? >> Nothing.

Do you have neat handwriting? >> Sometimes. I used to have very neat handwriting when I did more actual writing, instead of doing everything digitally like I do now.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? >> ---

What are three things you hope will be different about your life in 5 years? >> That’s not something I think about.

Do you want kids? >> Not particularly.

What is your dream job? >> ---

Are you working your dream job now? >> ---

What was your first job? Did you like it? >> Food service and hell no.

What other jobs have you had? >> I was a merch boy for local bands for a while. Only job I’ve had as an adult, but god, it was the best.

What is something people may not know about you? >> There’s probably a lot of things people don’t know about me, but I don’t feel like trying to think of something now.

Have you been bullied? >> Yeah.

Do you get bullied a lot? >> Currently? I don’t get bullied at all. I doubt I’m even capable of being bullied at this stage, because I can just leave a place now. Adulthood is underrated for that point alone: I can just fucking walk out of a place if I’m being mistreated. Couldn’t do that in, say, school as a minor.

What would you say to someone who is being bullied? >> I wouldn’t say anything to them. Not about that, anyway.

What is your favorite magazine? >> New Scientist is kind of cool. IDK.

Do you feel like you are making the most of this season? >> Sure.

What season are you in now? >> Summer.

Do you take selfies? >> Not anymore. I know what I look like. (I might take some on special occasions, if I’m wearing something I don’t usually wear, or something like that. But otherwise, there’s no real point.)

What kind of phone do you have? >> Moto g6 or something.

Do you like your computer? >> Sure.

What is your favorite dog breed? >> Pit bull.

Do people respect you? >> I mean, yes? Not everyone, obviously, but in general I am usually treated respectfully.

What do you wish people knew about you? >> ---

What health issues do you have? >> ---

What is one thing you hate? >> ---

What is one thing you miss? >> ---

Who is one person you miss (or two or three)? >> ---

Who do you wish you could just start over with? >> No one.

Who is pregnant right now? >> Someone, I’m sure.

Who do you wish you could spend more time with? >> ---

Who do you wish you could talk to right now? >> ---

Share something deep and personal--a secret or a wish. >> No?

What does your heart long for? >> Sigh.

Do you still cross paths with your first crush ever? >> ---

What is your favorite Bible verse, and why? >> I don’t have a favourite.

What has God been teaching you lately? >> I don’t know if Wednesday (or Sunday) is trying to teach me anything right now. I think they’re just chillin’.

Do you beat yourself up a lot? >> I try not to, but I don’t always succeed. It’s a hard habit to break, considering I learned it at such an early age and didn’t start trying to break it until recently.

Do you call yourself stupid? >> Sometimes, but like I said, I’m trying not to.

Do you have a secret nobody knows? >> Not, like, intentionally.

Who are some of the most selfish people you have ever met? >> Oh, I don’t know. Most people are some form of selfish, and I expect that. It doesn’t bother me, and I don’t really know why it bothers anyone else. We’re all the same way.

Have you ever been betrayed by a friend? >> Maybe, I don’t know.

Is there anyone you want back in your life? >> No.

What color was the house you grew up in? >> I don’t remember. Beige, maybe.

What was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Where did you go to college? What was your major? What was your minor? >> ---

What do your parents do for a living? >> ---

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? >> ---

Are you double-jointed? >> No.

What's one secret talent that you have? >> I have no secret talents. Surveys need to stop asking about “secret” this and “secret” that, it defeats the meaning of the word “secret” if I’m just going to go blabbing about it on tumblr.

What's the best compliment you've ever received? >> I don’t know.

Do you receive more insults or compliments? >> I guess compliments. I rarely get insulted to my face.

Do you feel like social media enhances your life or takes away from it? >> It was subtracting from it, which is why the only social media I have now is tumblr, which I genuinely enjoy being on.

Do you meditate? >> No.

Do you meditate on Scripture? >> No.

Do you pray? >> No.

Does God speak to you? >> Some gods do.

Have you ever seen a spirit/ghost/shadowy figure, etc.? >> Yeah.

Have you ever hallucinated? >> Yeah.

How much do you weigh? >> 146lb at last count.

How tall are you? >> 5′4″ or 5′5″ or some shit.

Are you happy with your weight right now? >> Eh. I’m trying not to have any feelings about it at all. It’s all arbitrary bullshit.

Who are your celebrity look alikes? >> I don’t know, but I’ve been compared to both Grace Jones and Harold Perrineau.

If you had a twin, what would he or she be named? >> How would I know? It wouldn’t be my responsibility to name them.

Do you pray regularly? >> No.

What color is your keyboard? >> Black.

Do you use your phone for an alarm? >> Yeah, on the rare occasion that I have to.

What was your favorite childhood family vacation? >> ---

What states have you been to (that you remember)? >> Meh.

What countries have you been to (that you remember)? >> None.

What are some places you would like to visit? >> All of them.

Do you like to make lists? >> I used to, when I was a kid. I mean, it’s still fun now, but less so.

What are you going to be for Halloween this year? >> Probably nothing special.

Do you have any weird habits? >> I don’t know, do I?

Are you a daydreamer? >> No.

What is your personality type? >> ...???

Would you rather be able to fly or swim underwater? >> Swim underwater, since I can’t swim period.

What superpower do you want the most? >> Meh.

What would you ask a genie for, if you had three wishes? >> I wouldn’t. I’ve read and seen enough horror stories about wishmaking to know better.

What is your favorite quote? >> I don’t have one.

Do you think it's ok to call yourself stupid? >> Of course not, otherwise I wouldn’t be actively trying to undo the habit.

Have you ever thought someone was ugly, but never said it? >> Yeah. Why would I say it, that’s just rude.

Do you like your natural hair color? >> Sure.

What is your natural hair color? >> Dark brown.

What is your favorite Disney princess? >> Moana. ...She counts, right?

Do you have a best friend you can tell your secrets to? >> ---

Does your life seem magical? >> Sometimes.

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

Survey #223

“broken and sad, as the tarnish on your crown, nowhere to go but down.”

What’s your favorite chocolate in the valentine box? The one with fudge in the center. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? Do not ever self-diagnose, ever. There's a quote about this that I love: Something along the lines of, "Your five-minute Google search doesn't compare to my doctoral degree." Something like that. Anyway, everything I have has been professionally diagnosed, though my therapist and psychiatrist both know I question if my bipolarity is actually borderline personality disorder. My psychiatrist doesn't see it, and my therapist says my level of self-awareness makes that highly unlikely. Idk though, a loooot of symptoms remind me of myself. What’s your favorite version of the Bible? None. Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza? Noooo. I hate sweet/savory combos. Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? My mom. My dad is smart in his own way, but if you're talking about textbook knowledge, yeah. My mom is smarter in that area. Which parent do you think you inherited your intelligence level from? I 120% got my total lack of common sense from Dad. Otherwise, Mom. Do you store your bike in a garage for the winter? I don't have a garage nor bike. What were your favorite gym class activities in elementary school? Okay, do y'all remember those rainbow tarps you'd form a big dome out of? I loved that shit. Even though all we did was talk once inside, lol. I also loved those square roller things. You know, the ones that put your fingers at great risk. Would you rather wear a tunic top and jeggings or a crop top and high-waisted jeans? Okay so I'd fucking love to wear high-waisted jeans w/ a crop top if I had the body for it. Do you think hoodies look better oversized and long, or cropped? Oversized ones are the best. Have you ever had a professional make-over? No. Have you ever had a professional photo shoot? No. Did you ever want to be a model? Noooo. What’s your anti-depressant? Vraylar + Lamictal lmaooooo. Do you stretch or do yoga? Not anymore. List all of the colors of dresses you have worn to school dances. I only ever went to prom. My first was maroon, the second black. Did you enjoy school dances? Here's the tea: they're overhyped, at least for my personality. It's loud as hell so you can't hear each other talk, and the music's shit. I only went to his senior prom and mine for the novelty of it. What is something you want to be for Halloween? I am very legitimately considering be a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale this year. Read that fucking book, it's one of the best I've ever read, and fucking terrifying as a woman. Who is your favorite parent? I love both for who they are. Do you have chronic pain? Only in my legs due to muscle atrophy that I'm recovering from now thanks to school. What is your favorite part of going to the dentist? My teeth feeling especially clean afterwards. Have you ever not been able to see the big E at the eye doctor? Ha ha, yes. My vision is godawful. What’s on your wish list right now? Just donate to my tattoo fund, lmao. What are you behind on? Politics. What did you get rid of that you wish you had kept? I wish I'd kept Jason and mine's last prom pictures, but literally just because now, I think I looked gorgeous. Does your hometown have bad memories attached to it? The Bloods gang seriously tried to break into the house while my sister and her friend were home alone as pre-teens, guess. Does it irritate you when someone has a dream but does nothing to work toward it? I mean, yes? I feel like everyone should care about that to some degree. Certainly not to an obsessive degree, it's not your life, but you should care that people work towards their aspirations. Do you find the concept of colorblindness fascinating? Yeah, sure. Which site have you been bullied on the most? I wouldn't say I was ever really bullied, but I guess the closest was on an old RP site from one particular person. Who do you wish loved you? A few people. Not necessarily romantically. Do you know anyone who has twin babies or toddlers? Yes. I actually think she has two pairs. If so, what are their names? Idr. I only know them loosely through dance. Would you ever want to have twins? FUCK no. Who has the cutest babies on your Facebook newsfeed? My acquaintance Anastasia literally has the prettiest daughter ever. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pink, duh. Or maroon. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED What’s a song lyric that you like? Korn came out with a new album, and my favorite song's lyrics include "God is making fun of me," and it's my favorite thing ever. Would you ever hitchhike? Why or why not? NOOOOOOO, I don't trust people. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? As a kid, I made a bird house one year. There was this backyard decorating show on Animal Planet when I was little, and on one episode, they made one out of an empty milk jug and leaves, so I duplicated that. What color is your stapler? Black. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. Have you ever been homeschooled? Towards the end of 8th grade, I was homebound. I was deeply depressed, and school didn't help. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? I will forever and absolutely always despise my old doctor for putting and keeping me on a medication that resulted in me gaining around 150 pounds, and I wish I was fucking kidding, and blaming it on me the entire time. Where you live, is it possible to get sunburned&frostbitten in same week? HA, yeah. Do you ever turn your phone off because you don’t want to talk? No, I'll just ignore it. Do you like McDonald’s sweet tea? I hate sweet tea period. Do you like rap? Very little of it. Usually just some Eminem. Do you ever lay down and look at the stars? I haven't done that in a long time. Well, we weren't lying down, but rather sitting in chairs, but when Sara was here last summer, she, Mom, and I all sat outside one night making s'mores and having some drinks, and we looked up at the stars for quite a while. Don’t you hate when songs remind you of the person you’re trying to forget? There are a couple songs I physically can't listen to due to PTSD. Whose bed were you last in besides your own? Uhhh. I think my niece's, though I was just sitting on it. Who’s the last person you kissed? Sara. What’s your relationship with that person? We're really fucking gay for each other. Do you know how many people you’ve kissed? Three or four. I can't remember if I ever actually initiated a kiss with Girt or ever kissed him back, but I don't think so. Do you burn easily in the sun? Like toast on the whitest bread. Have you ever blacked out? I mean, I've fainted. Who do you hang out with the most? My mom lmao. Are you positive or negative? So in my FYS class (that is literally more like therapy), we very recently took an emotional intelligence test (it's like a scale that tells you your strengths and weaknesses in some major areas), and my optimism score was ABYSMALLY low. Like, as low as it could be. I've always called myself a realist, but this was a very detailed and professional test, so I'm taking my results into consideration. Do you believe life is fair? Ha ha, what a way to prove the last answer, but you couldn't possibly make me believe life is fair. It's chance and cause and effect. Have you ever bought a youtuber’s merch? LMAO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'LL I'm too embarrassed to ask for "unusual" things. Do you have any embarrassing health issues? One or two. I am a Walking Health Issue. What are you longing for? I want Sara to live here so badly. Distance is getting hard. Who was your first roommate? Jason, Amanda, and Jacob. Who lived across the hall from you your first year of college? I never lived in a dorm. Have you ever had a janitorial job? Omfg no. I'm a germaphobe. Have you ever worked in food service? Hell no. I can't deal with hungry people. What is your favorite flavor of frosting? I'm a chocolate bitch. What is your favorite type of donut? Depends on where it's from. Dunkin' Donuts, omlllll gimme a chocolate frosted (never with sprinkles, sprinkles are gross). Krispy Kreme, BITCH I will kill a glazed. What is the name of your favorite bakery? We don't go to any proper bakery. We just get stuff from the ones at grocery stores. What is your current favorite Starbucks drink? I don't go to Starbucks. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter? For a certain holiday for Sara. I think it was Valentine's Day? Do you write mostly in cursive or in print? It's some hybrid font of both, but mostly cursive. What do you usually get for your birthday? Meerkat-related stuff. What is a childhood dream that hasn’t stuck with you? I wanted to be a vet. Who was your first favorite cartoon character? Uhhh. Probably Ash Ketchum (I FUCKING WROTE "KETCHUP") or Pikachu. Who is your favorite Disney princess? It was Ariel as a kid, now I don't particularly care, but probably Snow White. Do you like Coca Cola? Hell yeah. Do you like McDonald’s french fries? Are you even human if you don't? Did you get your hair color from your mom, your dad, or a grandparent? My hair was dirty blonde as a kid, so I don't have a clue where that came from. It turned brown though, so I guess Mom, but hers is way darker than mine. What are some other names your parents’ considered when naming you? The only one I remember is Kathryn. Who was the last person you know who had a baby? Uhhh I think it was one of my high school friends. …And what was the baby’s name? Jaspen. If you had a boy and a girl, what would they be named? Alessandra is NOT up for debate (if I wanted kids, anyway) lol, and Damien. What color is your dresser? Brown. Have you found your first gray/white hair yet? WOW no that would be mighty depressing. Is your hair long or short? Short. …and which way do you like it best? I CANNOT believe I didn't go short earlier. Do you have a problem with needles? Nah. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No, thankfully. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Also thankfully no. If applicable, what color are your glasses? Black. Do you like the name Addison? Yeah, it's cute. Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from your closet? No. At least, not a *real* costume. I've just dressed particularly dark before. Have you ever gotten sick in the car? No. Do you enjoy editing photos? I do. Have you ever called the wrong number? Yep, oops. Do you usually pick Truth or Dare? Truth. I never pick "dare," actually. Do you like kissing? I mean yeah, if I love the person. Which Internet browser do you use? Chrome. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? A couple weeks ago I finished The Handmaid's Tale for school. How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? A big 'ole zero lmao. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever cheated on you? Were you mad or sad? No. Are you a superstitious person? Have you ever been superstitious before? No. When was the last time your area had a tornado warning, if ever? A few months ago. Have you ever had one of those major fights with your current bf/gf? When we were younger and unstable friends. Do you think road kill is gross? I think it's sad more than anything, but I mean yeah, it can be. But considering a personal project of mine is photographing roadkill to depict the brutality and sadness of it, it obviously doesn't gross me out all that much. Is it obvious when people hurt your feelings? I think so. How many teeth do you have? The normal amount. Have you ever lived outside of America? No. Do you get allowance? I'm 23, I obviously don't now, but I never have. Do you pop your pimples? Yeah, oops. Who did you last dance with? Sara. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I think so. I wasn't going to like, actively pursue that, but I wanted her dead. Have you ever had braces? Yep. When you get married, do you want to keep your last name? No, please take it away. Do you shave your pubic hair? No. I'll obvious trim/shave along my upper legs in I'm going to wear a bathing suit or something, though. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? Thank fucking god no. Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water? Yep. I have zero clue how people stop water from going up their nose, even if they don't breathe through it. Do you like soft or hard pillows? s o f t What’s the last thing your parents bought you? Mom bought food, Dad bought me my laptopl. Do you know anyone who committed suicide? I'm 99% sure a pre-teen online friend did. I know some people loosely. When was the last time you cried out in pain? That's probably a TMI from having IBS. What do you say when you answer the phone? "Hello?" Do you ever get the feeling you don't belong? Belong where? I need specifics. Are you a timid person? Incredibly. Ever been in love with two people at the same time? No. Ever vomited because you were in shock? No. Do you think the world is a nice place or a horrible place? It's a hybrid of those. Ever had a rumor spread about you? The only one I knew of was one Jason's ex started in high school, that being that we had a baby. Despite the fact I was obviously never pregnant. If you found out you were pregnant how would you react? I'd be fucking terrified and incredibly confused because that's physically impossible. Have you ever been dumped by text? Did it hurt? More like over Facebook Messenger, and fuck yes it hurt considering I was literally madly in love with him and we'd been in a serious relationship for three and a half years. In your opinion what would be the worst possible way to dump someone? See above. (: How do you take out your anger? 99% of the time, cry. Have you ever snuck out of your house? No. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? Idk. I never did crazy dares. Have you ever cussed someone out? Yes. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in with your parents? Idk. My dad never really punished us, but rather Mom. I would say the time I texted her back "fuck you," but I was an adult by this point so she couldn't really do anything, but I do noooot want to imagine how she would've reacted if we were physically together. When she picked me up, she was furious, but I think she was more shocked I actually said that than anything. I don't remember that night much, surprisingly, considering I tend to remember awful days like that. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? No. Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? No. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Have you ever been physically abused? Thank God, luck, Heaven, or whatever, no. What’s something you really regret saying to someone? I think more than anything, the time I sent something along the lines of "thanks for sending me to the hospital again" to Jason before I went to the ER for the bajillionth time. Doesn't matter if it was the first, fifth, or thousandth time, that was fucking evil and could've seriously hurt him. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? Uhhhh I don't think so, at least. Do you have a lot of secrets? It depends on who is involved. Mostly though, no. Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? I don't know, actually. Have you ever broken a really important promise? I don't think so. Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? More like mutually flirted with her boyfriend behind her back until he left her for me when I was 12. Fucking disgusting. Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? No. Have you ever cheated on a test? I actually don't think I ever have. Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No. I'm honestly very trustworthy with secrets. Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? No. Have you ever done something bad JUST because you knew you shouldn’t? Maybe as a kid? I don't think so? Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yeah. Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don't think so? Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? Again I don't believe so. Possibly once, idr. Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? No. What’s under your bed? A box of art stuff. Have you ever you shoplifted? No. What do you want more than anything else? Happiness. Have you ever tried coconut water? I have not. How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? Holy fuck, there's no telling. Who was your first love? Jason. Are you the type to hold grudges? Definitely not. What was the last video game you played? I actually have World of Warcraft open right now, but that's a computer game; does that count? If not, uhhh. It's been a long while... I think maybe The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon. What’s your favorite flavor of vitamin water? Never tried vitamin water. Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? Ozzy Osbourne makes me so nostalgic. His music is so important to me. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, Youtube, etc.) No, but bitch try to stop me from going to PAX East one day to hug God and cry for two hours in joy. What brand are most of the electronics in your household? I don't think we have a consistent brand for our electronics. It depends on what the thing is. What’s your favorite aunt or uncle’s first name? I can't remember my favorite aunt's name, but the only uncle I know well is Rob. He's hilarious. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Who was the last person you invited into your home? Sara. Are you of legal drinking age in the country you live in? Yes. How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no clue. Early 30s? Are your parents still together? Hell no. What flavor was the last ice cream you ate? Chocolate. Are you health conscious? To a degree. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? N/A Are there any songs that get stuck in your head very easily? A lot. Who was the last person to text you? Sara. If you found out you couldn’t have children, would you adopt? I'd be fucking ecstatic if I found out I was infertile, especially with how terrified and paranoid I am about being raped. I don't want kids, ever. Would you go back to your most recent ex? No; I don't like him like that. Do you remember the show Bananas in Pajamas? I don't, but I know my older sister was obsessed. If you could know how, when, and where you’ll die, would you want to know? Hell no. Are you really excited for anything? I'm probably going up to Sara's for her birthday and Christmas and I CANNOT wait. Have you ever eaten any type of insect? Not intentionally? I think a gnat or something flew into my throat once, but idk. I've certainly never tried to. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met? Nobody lmao. Do you have trust issues? Oh yes indeed.