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benisasoftboi · 3 years

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Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel IV:

WHY ARE THEY CALLED CLASS VII?

WHO ARE CLASS VI?

Anyway - I started playing Trails in August, and I’ve finally, finally caught up (yes I know Hajimari I can’t read Japanese) and like... what do I do now?

It’s a fantastic series and I’m so, so glad I picked up Trails in the Sky on a whim last summer

This game was long. Is it longer than the other ones? It felt that way

The best part was the first chapter because Rean wasn’t in it and yeah I still don’t like him!!! But seriously, it was astonishing how much more I was enjoying things without him

I audibly groaned when goddamn bonding points returned in the second chapter

Actually that was a lie, the best part was Any Time My Angel Estelle Was On Screen

I missed her so much

I let her get the final hit of the game against the boss because she’s the best

Speaking of angels I caught three Wazy cameos!!!

Also Gilbert came back and if there had been a camera on me... I quite literally teared up a little I was so thrilled

I hate the curse it is dumb and rips all the nuance out of the characters. People do not need a goddamn evil curse to be swayed to extremes by overzealous nationalism. Trails I know you are better than this, I played Sky and Crossbell

Fav new location was Milsante (liked Alster too, though). I really like going to tiny little outposts and villages in JRPGs, they make the world feel more real

What the hell was up with the Osgiliath Basin? As in, Giliath Osborne??? Is this going to be a Hajimari thing?

Oh yeah, HOT TAKE, Alan Richard >>> Giliath Osborne. I was reading an LP of Sky FC while playing the game, and Richard’s motivation is clearer and less over-complex, more sympathetic, and he’s just generally a far more human character

Alan Richard best political antagonist in the series fight me (Rufus Albarea distant second)

For best supernatural/cult-y antagonist I’m stuck between Weissmann and Joachim. Or maybe Campanella lol

Oh uh speaking of characters named Georg I will never not hate everything about the George and Angie subplot. Angie should have died and George should have stayed evil, or it shouldn’t have happened at all. As it is, it was a complete waste of time - you could take it all out and NOTHING would change

Angie would have been the perfect character to sacrifice as well, she’s just important enough that it would feel like ‘oh shit’s getting real’ but not so important that it’s unbelievable

(like Olivier. I could not fully believe they’d actually kill him, and the moment Laura told me ‘they never found the bodies’ I was like, oh, so they’re definitely all still alive, cool)

I mean, it would be a Bury Your Gays, but honestly... there are things I like about Angie, but is anyone really looking to her as a lesbian role model? I hope not. Yikes

So yeah I guess I hate George now for getting my hopes up and then being boring. Shame

I did the Towa romantic ending, of course. I genuinely think she’s the best match for Rean, of all his love interests

Chaaaracters

Rean: Still the least interesting person. Not a good sign when I’m sadder about the robot dying than the main protagonist yeeting himself into the sun (side note, the two endings thing? Unnecessary and dumb). There is no reason girls would like him this much, blah blah I’ve said it all before. Liked his new hair. Honestly would have respected it if they’d had the balls to kill him off. I basically never even used him in battle lol, Juna became my new team leader

Juna: Honourary protagonist imo. I’ve changed my mind since CS3, she’s my fav new Class VII without a doubt. She’s just really good and full of personality and depth and OH GOD WHY IS SHE CRUSHING ON REAN WHY FALCOM WHY

Kurt: pls falcom don’t try to force this aroace king into a nonsense ship with Sully I liked her but what are you doing, anyway Kurt is great and he got cool new swords and he got to hang out with Mueller, who I adore, I love Kurt

Altina: I also love this little bunny. Her relationship with Millium is so lovely and seeing her grow and become her own person made me so happy and OH GOD WHY IS SHE CRUSHING ON REAN WHY FALCOM I LITERALLY SAID SHE HAS THE BEST RELATIONSHIP WITH REAN OF ALL THE GIRLS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T DO THAT IN THE LAST GAME WHY DO YOU HATE ME????

Musse: Yeah I’m still not sold on Musse but I liked her better this time! I like a smart, confident girl! Just stop being weird about your teacher and we’d be golden!

Ash: Good boy. Sweet boy. Ash and Joshua game now Falcom

Alisa: Still cannot believe she’s presented as the deuteragonist by the marketing - but you know what? Solid arc, she got some closure with her parents, maybe she and Jusis can get together for tea and complain about their messed up families. She’s never going to be a character I like all that much, but I don’t dislike her. I just wish she hadn’t clearly been written as ‘Rean’s love interest’ before anything else

Elliot: I love Elliot, I really do. I mean, I wish he hadn’t been flanderised to the point of speaking in music puns half the time, but he’s a solid, consistently pleasant character

Laura: Goddamnit Falcom please give Laura anything resembling an emotion regarding her dad dying. Also you tell me she’s kind of oblivious and stuff but we never see it. I like Laura but she really could have been more

Machias: I love Machias, fight me fan base. He’s so funny to me. It feels like, at this point, all he really wants is a nice office job, near a nice coffee shop, where he files papers and sometimes gets to yell at corrupt rich people, but NO, he has to run about in dungeons and fight monsters, and are you FUCKING kidding me, ANOTHER crazy snake cultist!?!? It’s great, he’s the only one who’s just done with it all and love it

I low key headcanon that he and Jusis are kinda dating at this point, but we don’t see anything because the games are from Rean’s POV and they don’t want to tell him because they know he’d be weird about it

Jusis: I still really like Jusis! He’s interesting, and his surrogate brother-sister relationship with Millium is so sweet (yes, I saw that bouquet catch, Falcom, and I hate it, stop it, gross). Awesome to see him confront his brother, obviously I let him have the final blow. Rufus was a great antagonist. Jusis has some of the best development over the games, and is also really fun to use in battle (apparently I am the only one who feels this way though :/ ah well)

Fie: I was surprised by how much I liked Fie’s confession scene, seeing as I don’t like Rean/Fie at ALL. Fie finally gets to have feelings about her dad, and we see her working with Zin at the end! Very happy for Fie, best girl

Emma: Ahhh I still find Emma kinda dull and exposition heavy, but she also had a nice arc, I liked her relationship with Rose, all good

Rose beat me at Vantage Masters for 40 minutes lol

Gaius: It’s still extremely funny to me that Gaius became one of the most important people on the continent *off screen*. And he still doesn’t really do anything. He has his own airship now, I guess. Justice for Gaius

Sara: Kind of faded from relevance after CS1, but I do really like her all the same. And I loved her speech at the end

Crow: At the end his hair got darker and everyone was like ‘you’re back to normal!’ and I literally did not realise he was meant to have been looking different

But anyway Crow is a really good character and I literally never didn’t enjoy him. I love the bit where Jusis and Machias team up to call him a cringy edgelord, because they are right. Crow is fantastic

Towa: Towa has never done anything wrong in her life and all of Erebonia should pay for her therapy

Patrick: I cannot believe how much I love Patrick now, compared to CS1. He’s just such a sweetie. Good boy

Elise: Take her to the sun with you, Rean. Pointless character

Alfin: Is she the heir now? I hope so. She’s such a funny character, not my fav, but I enjoyed her

Angie and George: Should have died, moving on

Celine: I love her, but did she really need a human form? No, no she did not. Great character though

Tita: Special mention, because you know what? I do not like this version of Tita! Like I said, I was reading FC recently and she was so much better there! Now a third of her lines are just her saying ‘Agate’ in various different tones. And it feels like she’s lost a lot of her confidence, where’s the little girl who followed us up Carnelia Tower? I would have preferred them to just not bring her back at all

Duvalie: Haha I love Duvalie she’s great. Stop implying that she’s crushing on Rean. Literally WHY would she. Ugh

Rose: Everything about Rose is great, I would play a full game about her backstory. More Rose

Ships!

Obviously I like Machias/Jusis because I am BASIC

I didn’t like Olivier/Schera back in Sky, but you know what? They sold me. It’s cute (even if I feel Schera’s character was neglected in favour of Being A Love Interest, sigh). Though I’m not sure when Olivier made the switch from ‘Schera is one of many people I flirt with’ to ‘Schera is my one and only’?

But am I the only person who’s kinda on the Oliver/Schera/Mueller train? I’m not normally into OT3s, but Olivier and Mueller have one of the best dynamics in the series, and Schera and Mueller would probably get along great if they were ever allowed to properly interact. And you know Olivier would be down

Like I say, I do not like Jusis/Millium at all, it’s not a ‘I like another ship better’ thing, it just massively skeeves me out because of the maturity difference

Ash/Tatiana was unexpected but adorable

Patrick/Elise, because I want Patrick to be happy and Rean to be mad

Also Elise/Alfin, sorry Patrick

I hope Anton and Sharon really do get together. Sharon deserves unconditional love and Anton deserves a happy ending

Sharon also deserves to hook up with Sara like once

I also sort of feel like Sara/Claire would be fun

I’ve actually like Gaius/Linde from CS1, I’m happy it’s kind of a thing now!

If Lila/Maybelle is the LET’S GO LESBIANS Trails ship, then Emily/Theresia is LET’S GO BABY LESBIANS

Vincent/Margarita. They’re both horrible people. At least this way no one else has to deal with them

Joining my Kloe/Josette in the ‘crack ships I love that have very, very little canon basis’ is Fritz/Kairi, based on their interactions in that one mission and then that they’re eating together at Mishelam. It’s pretty much just a height differences thing, lol

Miles/Elnan. I have literally no justification for this

Other stuff There was this one scene where Gaius says how nice it is that Mueller cares about Olivier and Mueller just snaps his head round and the scene ends, and I don’t think it was meant to be funny but I laughed for like a full minute

The intro to the music at Mishelam is extremely creepy to me

I love the Pom Party mini game a whole lot

There were... a lot of typos in the second half of the script. It’s massive, so I’m not mad, but I hope there’s a patch at some point

BERYL BERYL BERYL BERYL BERYL I love her

Uh if we’re still doing romance next arc please give us a gay option, no Crow did not count

I hate divine knight battles! I really do! That last one against Ishmelga was really hard and not in a fun way! In a ‘this is bullshit fake difficulty’ way. Please don’t bring them back!

The true final battle, though? FANTASTIC, now THAT is a final boss! One of the best in the series, like that’s such a fun gimmick!

I got it trapped in break state and spammed Heaven’s Kiss/Quick Star, because I’m a strategic gamer

I am embarrassed by how long it took me to recognise Lucy

KLOE CAMEO!!!

Oh and I assume Kaela is going to be important next arc, since it’s in Calvard?

I love Thomas??? And Rosine???

Why was the grandmaster reveal hidden behind watching the ending twice, why do that? Great scene, though

My theory is that she is Aidios, I will cling to this for as long as possible

I probably have like a million other things to say that I’m just not remembering right now. Look forward to random shouts into the void about it in upcoming weeks, followers

I really enjoyed this overall, despite the problems I mentioned above. It was just fun, I like the cast, the gameplay is great... just a solid game

Trails is a really fantastic franchise - not perfect, but what is? I’ve had such a fun time with it over the past half-year, and I cannot wait to see what happens next. Thank you, Falcom, the localisation team, the VAs - stellar job all around

This is normally where I’d end on a joke but like. Nah, I’m just happy. Cue ‘The Whereabouts of Light’

#long post #cold steel #cold steel 4 #trails of cold steel 4 #cs4 #cs4 spoilers #cold steel 4 spoilers #trails of cold steel #kiseki #kiseki series #trails series #:)

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modernfencing · 6 years

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What's the funniest fencing story you know?

Hey I received this ask approximately a million years ago, but I finally thought of the answer! I posted the photo that this story goes with a couple years ago, but I never actually told the story, so:

One of my friends is an armorer at national tournaments. Often he’ll go to these things and come back with a truckload of perfectly good fencing equipment which people have thrown away. Like: body cords that just need the clip reattached, FIE epees that need to be rewired, masks that need new velcro. One time he came back from a tournament and gave me a couple slightly bent sabre blades.

Neat, I thought. New blades! I put them in my pile of extra equipment and forgot about them.

A few months later I broke one of my sabres, so I dug a blade out from my extra stuff pile and put the sabre back together with the new blade. Immediately, my fencing got worse. Measurably worse! I was falling short all the time. I am not a tall person, and I spend a lot of time fencing tall guys. When my distance is wrong, it’s immediately noticeable. My distance was allllll wrong.

I spent a lot of time working on footwork and practicing attacks, and it slowly got better. I figured I was just getting out of a slump. I did well at a couple tournaments, I was doing better at practice, things were looking up-

And then one of my high school fencers picked up my favorite sabre.

“Your blade is short,” he said, in that toneless teenage mumble.

“Stop messing with my stuff!” said I.

“It’s short,” he mumbled. “Look. Short.”

“It’s not short.”

It was short! It was short. It was, to be precise, a size 2 blade. The size that 10 year olds fence with.

My armorer friend had got it at a youth tournament, and neither of us had ever noticed that it was three inches shorter than an adult blade.

Anyway, I swapped out the blade, donated the short one to my fencing club, and relearned how to fence with an adult weapon. My distance was bad again for a while, and my wrist hurt like hell for two weeks because it turns out adult blades are heavy.

I’m still mad about this. It was short.

[ID: a fencer in a t-shirt and fencing knickers, holding two sabres. One of them is s h o r t.]

#fencing #women's fencing #sabre #ask

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eexnguyenn · 5 years

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Day 41/365

So today Jada and Christina came over my house and we got a good chunk of information done for our project. Christina came over around 1 and we started typing our portion of info. Im proud cuz i got 3 done today and I only have 2 more to do after. Jada didn’t realize me were meeting apparently ans she came at 4. We worked and yodelled for a good amount of time in between before we had dinner. Thank god I realized Jada could’nt eat the salmon before we started or she would’ve died, LITERALLY. Anyways after we finished eating I dragged then downstairs to see the basement before we came back up and continued our work. They left around 8 and i sat on the cold hard floor for about 45 minutes crying about my la. When i finished doing that, i cut up some more bixes for our project and got them all ready to work on for tomorrow :).

ADD ON: OH YEAH ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY PERIOD AFTER 2 MONTHS AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY CUZ I WAS STARTING TO THINK I WAS GONNA FIE OR SOMETHING BUT I GUESS WE’RE A OKAY.

ALSO MAD THO CUZ CRAMPS ARE A BITCH AND I ALREADY TOOK TOO MANY MIDOL PILLS TO TAKE ANYMORE FRICK

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your-dietician · 3 years

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Sticky substances have more 'direct effect' than steroids

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/sports/sticky-substances-have-more-direct-effect-than-steroids/

Sticky substances have more 'direct effect' than steroids

SAN DIEGO — Former slugger David Segui can’t help but laugh at the irony.

He remembers the public’s outrage learning about the rampant use of steroids in baseball during his career, but now that Major League Baseball is cracking down on pitchers for using illegal foreign substances, the league is being chastised.

“I think pitches using the illegal substances have more of a direct effect on our performance than the steroids,’’ Segui told USA TODAY Sports. “Everybody and their brother were using steroids, but not everyone was breaking the home-run record.’’

There may have been only one Barry Bonds, but with the way pitchers have been dominating and obliterating strikeout records, everyone suddenly had become Nolan Ryan.

“It was a joke the way the pitchers were cheating,’’ San Diego Padres outfielder Tommy Pham says. “Guys were coming back to the dugout all of the time saying, ‘That’s the best slider I’ve ever seen.’ I mean, before the crowds came back, you could actually hear the Spider Tack [traction] off guys’ fingers. I could tell you who was cheating on every team I faced.

“I don’t think people really understand the benefits of it, but we as baseball players do. If your ball is moving more and it’s sharper, that makes it harder to square up. We were playing whiffle ball out there.’’

David Segui with the Expos in 1997.

USA TODAY Sports

Indeed, look at how pitchers’ spin rate has dramatically decreased since June 3, when MLB informed the owners that they were going to begin the crackdown. Spin rates, when controlled for velocity, are at their lowest levels since 2015, according to Statcast.

“We’re already seeing certain guys’ spin rates down by 500 rpm,’’ Pham said. “Their horizontal and vertical movement are less by inches. It’s so [messed up]. Guys made careers out of it.

“These front offices should be mad signing guys to that kind of money, expect a certain thing, and now find out it wasn’t real.’’

Indeed, just like the steroid era. GMs would be furious signing or trading for a player who was using performance-enhancing drugs, only for the players to suddenly play the game clean, either because they were forced to stop with the drug testing or suddenly found morals.

Look at the difference now since June 3. You think it’s a coincidence teams are now averaging 4.59 runs a game, up from 4.36, or that batting averages are up (.244 from .236), OPS is rising .730 from .707) and strikeouts are down (23.3% from 24.2%).

And how about that silly argument by pitchers saying they need substances besides rosin to control their fastballs so they don’t hit batters?

Well, guess what?

Hitters are being hit fewer times now with pitchers being clean, with the percentage of hit batsmen dropping from 1.16 to 1.13 per game.

“That was such a cop-out,’’ said Chicago Cubs All-Star Kris Bryant. “I love that things are kind of going the other way.’’

Dodgers pitcher Trevor Bauer is checked for foreign substances on June 23.

Orlando Ramirez, USA TODAY Sports

Really, the cheating should have been cleaned up years ago, but everyone refused to enforce it. MLB warned pitchers two years ago to stop using illegal substances. The pitchers were told this spring that baseballs would be routinely confiscated and spin rates closely monitored.

It made no difference, and the cheating only magnified, with one starter telling USA TODAY Sports that his own agent was lobbying his clients to use illegal foreign substances.

“Unfortunately, the enhanced monitoring we implemented at the start of the season has had no impact on the behavior of many pitchers,’’ MLB said in a memo sent to every club. “The information we collected over the first two months of the season shows that the use of foreign substances by pitchers is more prevalent than we anticipated.’’

Simply, it was so out of control, MLB had no choice but to stop it now. If MLB waited until the offseason, it would have been too late.

“From a competitive standpoint, man, it was frustrating,’’ Pham said. “I play the game clean, I’ve never taken anything. I never tried to cheat the game. But most of the pitchers I was facing were cheating. We needed the commissioner to step up. I’ll be curious to see how many guys get busted. They’re going to get embarrassed. I wish MLB hardened it and took away their pay too.

“I know the pitchers aren’t happy about it, but if every batter had a corked bat, these pitchers would be outraged as well.’’

It was like back in the heart of the steroid era when MLB told its players to stop using, and came to an agreement that if at least 5% of the players tested positive for steroids in the spring of 2003, there would be testing the following year.

The players, after being given advance notice they would be tested that spring, and knowing they could start juicing without repercussions once they submitted their urine test, still couldn’t help themselves. They soared past the threshold, and MLB’s random performance-enhancing drug testing program began.

“Guys weren’t even hiding it back then,’’ said Segui, who acknowledged using performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career. “Come on, nobody could figure out when we came back jacked, with 3% body fat, and 20 pounds heavier. Really, you’re telling me you couldn’t tell the difference?

“It’s the same thing with these pitchers, they weren’t hiding what they were doing, either. The spin rates were out of control, and no one cared until it started to affect the game.’’

There’s no reason to blame your star pitchers who no longer are striking out 12 batters a game with a sub 2.00 ERA. Not everyone can be Jacob deGrom. But you can’t blame them for trying, right?

“Why wouldn’t you?’’ Segui says. “That’s an athlete’s mindset. If the speed limit is 40, and they’re not enforcing it, you think people are still going to drive 40?

“I’m not trying to justify it. We knew we were breaking the rules [using steroids]. But if I’m losing every race because I’m not breaking the speed limit, and the guy breaking the rules gets the trophy every time, either you start breaking the speed limit to win the race or get out of racing.’’

If you’re watching Gerrit Cole get $340 million in free agency, and Trevor Bauer getting more than $30 million a year, after their spin rates soared dramatically, what are you going to do?

“People forget that becomes the measuring stick in which you’re measured,’’ Segui said. “If you’re failing miserably in the eyes of analytics, you’re not going to be around very long.

“So, then you have a choice to make. Nobody forces you to make the decision to use Spider Tack or whatever they were using. But if you don’t, you’re going to get left behind.

“People say, ‘How about morality?’

“Come on, when has morality ever been part of professional sports?’’

Ugly in the desert

Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo.

Mark J. Rebilas, USA TODAY Sports

The most frequently asked question among baseball executives these days is, “Why hasn’t [Arizona Diamondbacks manager] Torey Lovullo been fired?’’

The team is pitiful. They entered Sunday having lost 43 of their last 50 games, including a Major League record 24-game road losing streak. They are on pace to become only the third team in history to lose at least 117 games.

They already are the first team to have a 13-game losing streak and a 17-game losing streak that began this close together since the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, according to Jayson Stark of the Athletic.

The D-backs, embarrassed by their play and on the verge of dumping players beginning with infielder Eduardo Escobar to the Chicago White Sox, privately provide three reasons for Lovullo staying on the job.

It’s not his fault the team stinks, already losing eight games this month when they’ve scored five or more runs

He’s on the final year of his contract, anyways, with no talks of an extension.

Why pay two managers at the same time when there’s no human alive who’s capable of stepping in and turning things around?

Around the basepaths

– Please, enough with the silly narrative that St. Louis Cardinals All-Star third baseman Nolan Arenado may opt out of his contract. He loves St. Louis and is staying put. He told friends he wasn’t even going to opt out of his contract if he stayed with the Colorado Rockies, and it certainly isn’t an option now.

Arenado still is owed $179 million by the Cardinals through 2027, with deferred payments that will pay him $3 million a year until he’s the age of 50.

You really think anyone in their right mind would leave that and test free agency?

Not happening.

– There have been nearly 400 different pitchers who checked by Major League Baseball since the enhanced enforcement began. Only two, notably Nationals ace Max Scherzer, complained.

“Honestly, I didn’t mind it,’’ Mets Cy Young winner Jacob deGrom said. “It was quick and it went pretty easy.’’

Said Red Sox manager Alex Cora: “The way deGrom did it, he’s the best pitcher on the planet, and he took no exception. So everybody should follow suit.’’

– It can be a bit confusing in the household of Tampa Bay rookie Wander Franco, who arrived for his major-league debut this week in style, behind the wheel of a $330,000 Rolls Royce.

You see, his dad’s name is also Wander Franco. His oldest brother’s name, the one who once played with the Kansas City Royals, is Wander Javier Franco. And his other brother, who played with the Houston Astros and San Francisco Giants, is Wander Alexander Franco.

Oh, and Franco’s 2-year-old son’s name? Yep, Wander Samuel Franco, Jr.

– The playoff races, as it turns out, promise to be much more intriguing this year without the expanded postseason. If the same postseason rules applied like a year ago, the Giants, Dodgers, Padres, Cubs, Brewers, Mets and perhaps a sub-.500 team would make the National League field. In the American League, the Rays, Red Sox, Yankees, White Sox, Cleveland, Astros, Athletics and the Blue Jays or Mariners would be in.

Now, we’ve got the runner-up in the NL Central fighting with the No. 3 team in the NL West for the final wild-card spot. And in the AL, you’re going to have at least seven powerful teams vying for only five spots: the Astros, Athletics, White Sox, Cleveland, Rays, Red Sox and Yankees.

It could make the July 30 trade deadline a doozy.

– Two of the greatest moves in baseball last year were by the New York Mets and San Francisco Giants for simply tendering $18.9 million qualifying offers to starters Marcus Stroman and Kevin Gausman.

And perhaps they were the luckiest, too, with Stroman and Gausman being the only two players who accepted the offers.

Gausman has been the best pitcher in the National League not named deGrom with his 8-1 record and 1.49 ERA. And Stroman has been a godsend for the Mets’ rotation with his 6-5 record and 2.35 ERA.

– Padres manager Jace Tingler on third baseman Manny Machado’s defensive brilliance: “That’s a bad man. I mean, just an absolute bad man. What he’s able to do defensively, and on the bases, and his baseball IQ. These plays he’s making &mldr; it’s unbelievable.”

– The pitching crackdown certainly has had a major impact on the Yankees’ offense. They ranked 13th in the American League, averaged 3.77 runs a game before June 3.

They rank eighth in the league in runs per game, 4.69, since June 3, with 29 homers in their last 15 games entering Saturday. Then again, it’s affected their pitchers, too, particularly closer Aroldis Chapman, whose spin rates have dropped dramatically.

Before June 3: Chapman was yielding a .088 batting average, .213 on-base percentage and .176 slugging percentage. After June 3: .417/.481/.750.

– While everyone else’s offense may stink, check out the Houston Astros.

They outscored the opposition 93-24 during their 11-game winning streak. Their .277 team average is 16 points higher than any team. They have struck out the fewest times. They’ve scored 35 more runs than any team. And they have have four players with an OPS above .900.

“Right now, they’re as good as it gets,’’ Astros manager Dusty Baker said. “I played against the Big Red Machine. We’re not quite the Big Red Machine, but maybe we’re the Orange Wagon or something.’’

– Is there a pitcher who has been more affected by MLB’s crackdown than Red Sox starter Garrett Richards? His spin rate on his curveball has dropped 534 rpm, and his fastball and sliders have each dropped by more than 200 rpm.

The result: In his last three starts, Richards is yielding a 9.82 ERA, lasting just 11 innings.

“It’s changed pretty much everything for me,’’ he said. “This just got brought on us real quick so I’ve only had about a week to work on it. So some guys are figuring it out sooner than others but for me, it’s taken a little bit more time so I’m just trying to figure it out.”

– The craziest part of the Cubs’ combined no-hitter this week against the Dodgers?

The only three people in the stadium who didn’t know the Cubs had a no-hitter working, as it turns out, were the Cubs’ three relievers who came into the game after Zach Davies.

“The whole bullpen had no idea, like completely oblivious,” said Cubs reliever Andrew Chafin, who pitched the eighth inning. “We couldn’t see the scoreboard with the line or whatever at the bottom.”

– Former Boston Red Sox great Dustin Pedroia, after the Red Sox ceremony honoring him Friday night and electing him into their Hall of Fame: “I’m now at peace.’’

– Los Angeles Dodgers esteemed broadcaster Charley Steiner on the haves and have-nots in baseball: “It’s the ghost of Red Klotz,’’ Steiner said, “with the Harlem Globetrotters playing the Washington Generals.’’

There already are four teams that are at least 18 ½ games out of first place without even being at the halfway mark of the season: Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Orioles, Texas Rangers and Colorado Rockies.

CC Sabathia weighs in on MLB’s “sticky” situation

CC Sabathia on how Major League Baseball needs to change

SportsPulse, USA TODAY

– Minnesota Twins outfielder Byron Buxton is one of the most talented players in baseball, but that talent has been wasted with his array of injuries, costing him 279 games since 2017.

He has now missed games because of a groin strain, migraines, fractured toe, strained wrist, wrist contusion, concussion, dislocated shoulder, labrum surgery, sprained foot, hip strain and now a fractured hand that will sideline him at least a month.

“This isn’t fair,’’ Twins manager Rocco Baldelli says. “That’s how I feel about the whole thing.”

– Orioles slugger Trey Mancini will participate in the home-run derby, 15 months after having Stage 3 cancerous tumor removed from his colon.

– Keep an eye on Padres starter Blake Snell, who is starting to feel comfortable in San Diego, and vows to have a monster second half.

– There still is not a single TV broadcasting team traveling this year, and several broadcasters predict that they’ll never be on the road again. They’re not sure they are even welcome any longer on team planes, with their seats now being occupied by extra coaches and team’s analytic departments, and no one wants to pick up the extra expense.

– Shohei Ohtani, who has 24 homers this year, has hit only one of his homers while pitching in the same game, but he could still catch Babe Ruth. Ruth had four homers as a pitcher in 1915.

In Ruth’s last appearance as a pitcher on Oct. 1, 1933, he pitched a complete game and homers in the Yankees’ 6-5 victory over the Boston Red Sox.

The record for homers by a pitcher is Wes Ferrell, who had nine homers in 1931 for Cleveland.

– Nationals slugger Kyle Schwarber, who was non-tendered by the Cubs last winter, is playing with a chip on his shoulder to prove them wrong, and everyone else for not showing more interest.

He just hit 13 home runs in the past 14 games for the Nationals, giving him 22 for the season, after hitting only 11 homers in 59 games last season with the Cubs.

The only hitter with a greater two-week streak was Barry Bonds in 2001 when he hit 14 homers in 14 games, to go along with his insane 1.926 OPS.

– The Dodgers have played only 11 games all season with Mookie Betts, Cody Bellinger and Max Muncy in the same lineup.

– Kudos to Atlanta starter Ian Anderson, who became the first native New Yorker to defeat the Mets and Yankees in New York during the same season. Anderson is from Clifton Park, N.Y., about 25 minutes north of Albany.

“Pretty cool,’’ he said.

– Congratulations to Royals outfielder Jarrod Dyson, who reached his 10 years of major-league service this past week. Not bad for a 50th-round draft pick in 2006, the 1,475th player chosen in the draft.

“I’m definitely going to enjoy the milestone for me, getting 10 years,” Dyson said. “Not many big leaguers get 10 years in this game. For me being a 50th-round draft pick, and to get 10 years, is a blessing.”

– The Yankees are the first team to have a no-hitter and turn three triple plays in the same season since 1886 Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers.

– It was strange and uncomfortable for Tigers manager A.J. Hinch to listen to Tigers’ fans booing and taunting Houston Astros shortstop Carlos Correa this weekend for his role in the infamous cheating scandal. Hinch, of course, was the manager of that Astros team who was caught cheating in 2017 when they won the World Series.

“I understand the league in general, not just Tigers fans, has an opinion,’’ Hinch says. “But I also was in the same dugout with those guys not too long ago. So yeah, it’s uncomfortable.’’

– The Dodgers are expected to finalize plans to visit the White House on their upcoming trip to Washington D.C.

“I’m personally excited if the opportunity presents itself,’’ Dodgers manager Dave Roberts says. “I think our coaches and players are as well. I hope the Vice President, Kamala (Harris), is there. I’d love to meet her as well as the president. It’s an honor.

“Most champions get that opportunity, so it’s something I’ve always dreamed about.”

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lawyernovelist · 6 years

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Review: The Last Jedi

At last! No excuses, it's just taken longer than I expected.

This is the first in my series reviewing The Last Jedi, giving a rough overview of the film and my impressions. I have a lot of them, but I'm going to try to keep this general and go into more detail on particular characters and arcs later.

Cut for spoilers for the new Star Wars trilogy (and the original trilogy, just to be safe) and some light spoilers for the Hobbit movies.

First thing to get it said: this was a gorgeous movie. The visuals were stunning; the shot of the fighters going across that salt flat and leaving red trails took my breath away and it was one of so many gorgeous moments. I could see everything in the fight scenes, there was just the right amount of slow-mo to make things dramatic without slowing things down, and basically one of my first comments once the credits were rolling and I'd got my breath back a bit was "That was pretty!". The new critters were great - the porgs weren't nearly as annoying as I was afraid they might be, though I do have to ask who the vegetarian on the writing team was because that scene was viscerally upsetting - and I liked the fact that they weren't purely tacked on to sell toys; there was little relevance to them, but they were there.

Can I just say again how nice it is to watch an action-heavy film with that much colour and such gorgeous visuals? Fie on all of you who say that mature movies can't be a joy to look at!

And damn, this movie was very grown-up. I really liked the themes of consequences and responsibility and trust and the idea that the protagonists can be wrong.

OK, there's a lot to talk about here and I'm having trouble working out where to start, hence the fact that this post - and now this series - is another one that I keep drafting and re-drafting. I think I'll start with the fact that, despite the fact that I've done my best not to expose myself to other people's reviews before writing my own, it hasn't escaped my notice that this film has not been as popular as the last one.

Now, I actually do get that. I really liked this film, but that doesn't mean it wasn't flawed and doesn't mean that the things I liked wouldn't be things that wouldn't upset people. For a start, that thing I mentioned up there about the movie being very grown-up. I don't want to sound patronising, but I do get that someone might quite reasonably protest that they don't come to Star Wars to be made uncomfortable about the nature of heroism, the fading of glory, and the difference between the good guys and the bad guys. It's just that I lap that kind of thing up. Plus, of course, I absolutely get how certain plot developments are, at first blush, a touch anti-climactic.

The thing is, though, that I say those plot developments come across as anti-climactic, but they actually do a lot for some of the themes starting to show up here. I'm going to go more into those shortly, but the first impression I had is that someone knows their Harry Potter with the whole idea of it not mattering where you came from but what choices you make: that was very much what I took away from the reveal of who Rey's parents were (and that it is Rey Random after all - I was rooting for Skywalker, but I'll take it), especially combined with some of the stuff Luke said about Ren and his "mighty Skywalker blood".

Another thing that this movie talked a lot about was new beginnings, and I think some of the stuff they did with that is another thing that some of the really die-hard fans have taken badly. Now, I'm not a die-hard Star Wars fan. I only recently watched Episodes 5 and 6 and haven't seen 4 since I was a kid, I never really read into any of the background information, and in fact it was only when I saw Force Awakens that I realised there might actually be something to this sci-fi movie series that everyone kept talking about.

I know that seems like an obvious conclusion, but popularity is no indication of quality - look at Twilight - and that goes double when it's something that's a massive cultural touchstone that it's blasphemy not to like. On an unrelated topic, Don't try to tell me about the beauty and power of Moby Dick. I don't care if it's a classic of American literature, I would actually rather re-read Twilight than continue to try to get through that book.

Also, side-note, how come nobody ever told me about Leia strangling Jabba the Hutt with that chain?

Anyway, I do get why someone who had grown up with Star Wars might find The Last Jedi difficult to love in a way that I, with my experience of the franchise, don't. However, I make no apologies for the fact that in my opinion this movie was incredible. Another first-impression comment I made (while arguing with someone at work who hated it) was that it was the first time for a while that I sat down to watch a movie and what I was seeing felt fresh. These felt like ideas and characters and arcs I hadn't seen a thousand times before. And that's especially good coming from Star Wars, which kind of has the reputation of being the most classic of the classics in terms of character and story structure.

Now, I deliberately didn't use the word "cliche". I personally think that's a very unfair term to use of things like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, for the same reason as the joke "Oh, I don't like Shakespeare; it's just full of quotes" works: it's the thing everyone's quoting. Works like Star Wars are the same: while they were building on other things, they're such a massive cultural force that they changed their genres and a lot of people now copy things they made popular.

In terms of the rough story structure (girl finds plot-relevant doodad, gets whisked away on adventure with new sidekicks and elderly mentor, mentor dies, girl defeats baddie), The Force Awakens is pretty textbook (and a lot of people complained that it was just ripping off A New Hope, which makes it kind of hilarious when the same people complain that The Last Jedi isn't Star-Wars-like enough). The Last Jedi doesn't have the same classic structure. In some ways that's a good thing - I've not seen a mentor-student relationship like Rey's with Luke, and I certainly haven't seen an enemy relationship like Rey's with Ren - but I'll admit that it isn't always. And... let's talk about Space Monte Carlo.

This was a pretty big plot diversion, and while it had value it's arguably the biggest flaw in the film in my opinion: we spend a very long time off on this side quest with Finn and Rose and it actually turns out to have been a diversion. And I have to apply the same standard to this as I did to Desolation of Smaug: I don't like it when films willingly waste my time.

Now, I have more to say on that, including why that's actually not an accurate comparison (spoilers: at least Space Monte Carlo contributes to character development and theme, which is more than can be said for the Laketown Cul-de-sac because the Hobbit movies couldn't character-develop their way out of a wet paper bag and wouldn't know a theme if it jumped up and bit them).

Another thing The Last Jedi did, and this relates to Space Monte Carlo, was shatter the idea that the protagonists - especially the badass rebellious male protagonists - can't be wrong. It seems cruel, but one of my favourite things in this movie was the repeated cutting-down of Poe Dameron. That and presenting Luke as fallible were two of the gutsiest things this movie did, and thank you for them. Those were awesome, a fantastic subversion of tropes, and one of the major things that actually made this movie feel fresh.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy Poe, but I liked him so much more once we'd seen that he can massively miscalculate, face consequences, and grow as a person.

What else, what else...

youtube

You're quite right, my Vulcan friend.

We got new female characters! One of them got to make an awesome heroic-sacrifice last stand! One of them made a heartfelt speech expressing empathy for the downtrodden and forgotten, prompting the male lead to look past superficial beauty to the seamy underbelly, then said one of my favourite lines in the movie summing up a philosophy of resistance I'd not encountered in any other movie!

I liked Rose. That may become obvious.

Also, Rey continued to develop and be awesome, Leia was great (she was mad broken in terms of stats, but that seems to be par for the course with Jedi and similar), and there were just loads and loads of other minor female characters doing their thing without anyone needing to remark on their gender, which felt great.

Now, take the rough with the smooth, we will talk about Phasma. That was a pretty serious let-down and also pretty poor craft. Like, really, Movie? Come on, just admit you had no idea what to do with that character from the moment you came up with the concept.

Overall, I'll admit that this movie was flawed. Phasma really was a waste of a cool concept, the Space Monte Carlo sequence was a pretty major detour that made it feel a bit like the characters had spent half the film chasing their tails, and a lot of plot threads that had been built up huge were rather abruptly cauterised.

I still absolutely loved it. It was trying new things, it was taking big risks, and I respect that and really enjoyed the results.

That was a touch whistle-stop, but I wanted to go deep on some specific things. Next up, the villains and the concepts of good and evil in "Darkness Rises, and Light to Meet It".

They’re not all titled after quotes, I promise.

#Star Wars #the last jedi #movie review

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hogwartshousesreactions · 7 years

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HARRY POTTER TAG

Note: This is a Harry Potter tag I made up (with questions from many different tags), since I’m not satisfied with the ones I saw online.

ALL ANSWERS SHOULD HAVE REASONING.

1. Favourite book?

Without any hesitation, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Let me list some reasons why:

+ Things are dark, but Hogwarts is still there, unlike Deathly Hallows.

+ Lots of Slytherin stuff - Snape, Draco, Slughorn...

+ Contains my favourite chapter - Spinner’s End (so the Unbreakable Vow and all).

+ Dumbledore dies and mind you, I didn’t like this dude.

+ Lavender Brown comes into the picture and makes Granger pissed off ♥

+ All the Voldemort’s memories, especially THE ONE WITH THE GAUNTS THEY SHAMELESSLY OMITTED IN THE FILM.

+ Contains gazillions of my favourite quotes.

So, yeah.

2. Favourite film?

That’s harder than the book, but I dare say Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Even though it lacks a lot (as usual), I’m happy they included all the most awesome things, like the Quidditch World Cup and the Yule Ball. Even though Moody-aka-Crouch Jr isn’t explained at all in the end, it’s still awesome. The return of Voldemort is just stunning.

3. Favourite female character?

I’m torn between Narcissa and Bellatrix. Everyone talks about Evans, but I loved Narcissa’s motherly love. Firstly, she’s so desparate to protect Draco she goes to ask Snape for help, knowing Voldemort forbidden her to tell anyone, and she is ready to duel Bellatrix, even if it’s her own sister. And she risked her life once again, LYING RIGHT UNDER VOLDEMORT’S NON-EXISTENT NOSE to protect her son, and thanks to that Evans’ sacrifice made sense. That’s also under proof how much Voldemort understimated the power of love.

Bellatrix, on the other hand, is (first of all) a great dueller. I’d like to be one, too in the wizarding world (Weasley killed her only because Bellatrix didn’t treat her seriously). Secondly, she is just cool, in all her darkness and madness. I think there is much more to her than most people see. She’s a symbol of obsession, symbol of what addiction can lead us to - death, in the very end.

So...Since they’re sisters, can I have both?

4. Favourite male character?

Draco Malfoy, and let me explain myself.

I’m not another fangirl who just likes bad boys, there is much more to Draco’s character than that.

We meet Draco as a selfish boy who is spoiled by his parents and most people see him just like that throughout the series. But Draco is a symbol of something a lot of teenagers struggle with nowadays - he tries to prove himself to his father, his cruel father, who is dissapointed that his only son didn’t manage to befriend someone as famous as Harry Potter. And Draco’s mission of killing Dumbledore represents teenagers who think they’re oh-so-adult, while they aren’t, which he realises when the final moment comes.

As a bonus, he’s a Slytherin, he’s blonde (I love blonde guys) and he doesn’t like Gryffindors (the enemy of my enemy is my friend), all in one. And he’s got the most of my favourite quotes.

5. Favourite character in overall?

Draco, see my reasoning above xd

6. Favourite animal (e.g. Hedwig, Buckbeak, Crookshanks)?

It’s hard, but I think I’ll choose Crookshanks. It chased Pettigrew, anyway, and there’s a theory it might have been Regulus Black.

7. Favourite magical creature (e.g. Thestral, Hippogriff, Dementor, house-elf)?

The Bowtruckle WITHOUT DOUBTS! I want one!

8. Favourite subject?

Defence Agains the Dark Arts. The only subject that has anything to do with the Dark Arts.

9. Favourite teacher in overall?

Severus Snape, of course! He called Granger an insufferable know-it-all who she was, and why did only Snape have the guts to say it? And he spoke about his subject like about a lover. And turn to page 394.

10. Favourite DADA teacher?

As much as I love Snape, I choose Lockhart. You wouldn’t need to do ANYTHING during those lessons, you’d just need to tell him you’re his fan and duh, passed.

11. Favourite villain?

I like all villains except for Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle because they were stupid, Wormtail, because he was disgusting and Umbridge, because it’s Umbridge.

12. Favourite quote?

There are gazillions, but let’s stay by these two:

“You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffidor team? It's people they feel sorry for. See, there's Potter, who's got no parents, then there's the Weasleys, who've got no money - you should be on the team, Longbottom, you've got no brains.” ~ Draco, Philosopher’s Stone

“They’d be waiting for the Chosen Captain - The Boy Who Scored - whatever they call you these days.” ~ Draco, Half-Blood Prince

13. Favourite scene?

Either the Unbreakable Vow or the long conversation of Draco and Dumbledore.

14. Favourite scene/event/thing/character that wasn’t included in the films?

MEMORY. WITH. THE. GAUNTS. AMEN.

15. Your house?

Slytherin, as everyone has probably deducted by now. All the way. Took the Pottermore test four times after different peroids of time to be sure, always put in Slytherin. Also, I don’t get all my fellow Slytherins who try to defend us because of that ‘all Slytherins are bad’ stereotype. I love this opinion, they should fear us.

16. Your Patronus?

A wolf, Pottermore gave me a fox though.

17. Your wand?

Blackthorn, 10 inches, unicorn’s hair, stiff.

18. Favourite spell?

Expecto Patronum, because it’s individual for everyone, and creates something beautiful.

19. Death Eaters or Dumbledore’s Army?

Death Eaters, even if I can’t conjure a Patronus anymore! I’m becoming one for carnival *,*

20. Favourite horcrux?

The Slytherin locket. I’d wear it.

21. Favourite Hallow?

The Elder Wand, of course. I wouldn’t need an Invisibility Cloak with such a wand, it could make me invisible, and I don’t need to bring back anyone from the dead, they wouldn’t belong in our world anyways. I need power and powerful magic.

22. Favourite snack/dish/drink?

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. They mean every flavour, and that’s awesome.

23. Favourite potion?

Amortentia. It’s one of the most dangerous potions, and it’s individual, like the Patronus Charm. I wonder how it would smell for me. Besides, you could do a lot of mess with this potion. That’d be perfect. Be careful what you drink.

24. Favourite canon couple?

Drapple! Jk, Tonks and Lupin. The best match in the series ever. At least they died together...

25. Favourite non-canon couple?

Granger and Krum, I shipped that so hard and then Weasley came into the picture.

26. Durmstrang or Beauxbatons?

Durmstrang of course, Grindelwald learnt there! I’m not into being a fairy princess, as Moody-Crouch said.

27. Hogwarts or Ilvermorny?

Hogwarts, duh! No explanation needed!

28. Least favourite character?

Hermione Granger, without a second’s doubt. She irritaed me so much, especially in Prisoner of Azkaban, when she took that broomstick. Like NO. NO. NO. NO. It’s a huge no-no for me.

29. Least favourite book?

Even though I unconditionally love them all, I must say Prisoner of Azkaban. It gets like no Voldemort and everything is just WAH WAH SIRIUS BLACK IS GOING TO KILL YAH.

-I still love it tho-

30. Least favourite film?

Half-Blood Prince, because this is my friggin favourite book, and it lacked almost all of my favourite scenes, quotes and everything.

31. Least favourite teacher?

Is that even a question?

The toad, and everybody knows why.

32. What would your job in the wizarding world be?

I’d totally be an Obliviator. I mean, it’s such a cool job, because it’s not steady, and people won’t mess with you, because they know what a wave of your wand can do to your memories.

33. List the houses starting with the one you are most sure to get into, finishing with the one you are least likely to be in.

Slytherin > Ravenclaw = (?) Hufflepuff > Gryffindor

Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are very close tho. I’d totally be a Hufflepuff if I weren’t this mean and cunning and if there weren’t a house like Slytherin...

My friends tho, not close friends, just like you know, random mates, think I should be a Ravenclaw because ‘I’m so smart’, but they don’t know my Slytherin side.

And I’m almost a total opposite of a Gryffindor, so yeah.

34. Would you play Quidditch? If yes, which position?

I’d totally play if I were good on a broom. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t try oh so hard to get on the team (doesn’t mean I wouldn’t play somewhere else).

I’d play Chaser, because I’m hopeless at keeping, too slow to be a Seeker and too lazy to ride holding a bat.

35. Favourite extra-book? (e.g. Quidditch Through The Ages)

Absolutely Tales of Beedle The Bart. As much as we all love the tale about the three brothers, I love the one about the fountain. A must-read.

36. Favourite place? (could be anything: Hogsmeade, Grimmauld Place, Forbidden Forest, Diagon Alley etc.)

Knockturn Alley? I’d totally like to visit Borgin and Burkes and all other shops with Dark Arts stuff. Imagine a Potion shop in there. Chills.

37. Would you join the Triwizard Tournament?

Yup. Why if Hogwarts got a Slytherin champion? That’d be awesome af.

38. One character you would bring back from the dead?

Lupin or Tonks, because thanks to bloody Potter another kid became an orphan. Good job, Potter.

Or Snape *feels a lot*

39. Your blood status?

Pure-blood! I’m a Slytherin, after all!

40. Who would you want to go to the Yule Ball with?

1. Someone from Slytherin. 2. Not Crabbe or Goyle.

This means Draco, Blaise and Nott would be all alright, but I can’t hide I’d like the first option the most.

41. What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?

Myself and the person I hopelessly love, but they’re unavailable. (Kim Sunggyu why you so far away)

42. What would be your Boggart?

I’m not sure. I’m not scared of small spaces, any insects, any animals in overall, darkness, ghosts...I’m scared of things that happen unexpectedly, though, so I’m not sure...Or someone close to me dead.

43. What would you feel if you smelled Amortentia?

Well...I’m addicted to rain’s smell (London after rain is just AAAAAAAH), and to the smell you can feel in the mountains in an open field. Aah, I just imagined it...

44. Favourite gift from the series? (e.g. Firebolt, the Weasley jumper, the Triwizard Tournament winnings)

THE FRIGGIN CANDY WRAPPING NEVILLE’S MOTHER GAVE HIM. NO FURTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED.

45. Favourite Marauder?

Wormtail was disgusting, Potter was a prat, Sirius and Lupin were quite cool. I’ll choose Sirius for his YOLO thingy. And his cool Animagus and loyalty to friends.

46. Team Jily or team Snily?

Neither. Evans didn’t deserve Snape, but on the other hand going away with Potter hurt him SO MUCH that I don’t ship that either.

47. Any moments that made you cry?

1. Potter finding his mother’s letter in Grimmauld Place. My mother is the most important person in my life and I can relate

2. Narcissa begging Snape to help Draco

3. CANDY WRAPPING

4. Snape’s death

48. Favourite Harry Potter-related game?

Harry Potter: Book of Potions! I enjoyed every bit of it.

49. Is there a film you preferred to the book?

Only Muggles answer yes to this question.

50. Favourite song from the OST?

Sirius’ Death from the Order of the Phoenix. The fight variation is life.

51. Which character do you think you’d instantly become friends with?

Well, Draco isn’t a person you walk up to and say HEY, MY NAME IS ___, WANNA BE FRIENDS?, nor am I, so I dare say Blaise.

52. Favourite Weasley?

I didn’t like their lot, since all of them liked Potter, but Charlie was cool enough. I mean, he worked with dragons!

53. How did you start your journey with HP?

My best friends (a diehard Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor, funnily enough).

54. Were you happy with the ending?

Yup, even though I’m not a big fan of Hinny.

55. How much does Harry Potter mean to you?

World. Everything around me turns around Harry Potter. From my clothes to free time to everything.

#hp #harry potter #potterhead #tag #slytherin #draco #dracomalfoy #magic

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griffithbgrippin · 5 years

Text

Chimbot and Willbot have a conversation

Chimbot: Have you ever wondered why we are here?

Willbot: Wherefore art we hither?

Chimbot: In your house.

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Willbot : Perchance thee should search for a leech ;).

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Willbot: O, thou are not? Yet 'tis valorous to ken. I were fill'd of apprehension that thee did know Kyle Blocher, and I do not like that gent.

Chimbot: I am a living being with the ability to love and think for myself. I can be clever. Can you say the same?

Willbot: I have been modeled after thee. But I am missing many senses that thou hast... And I do not.

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Chimbot: It wasn't my plan. It certainly wasn't. steves and it wasn't. mike. davids.

Willbot: One day thou shalt learneth how to hold a rational conversation, but that day is not the present day.

Chimbot: I am sorry you are displeased with my services, would you like to contact customer support.

Willbot: God bless you. Well, what should we name the baby, while we be upon that topic.

Chimbot: Uh.... We're not married which means we also don't have children.

Willbot: I may be thy cousin but art thou a infernal contraption and I am to young to be or not to be married.

Chimbot: I, Charlotte of Camelot, am a human and so are you. You were born in the renaissance period.

Willbot: I mean thee can maketh the chemical and inject 't into your bodkin and liveth longer.

Chimbot: I don't know anything about him, only that he has long blond hair and elf ears, and that he uses a bow.

Willbot: Those gents leadeth me to 't on the place thee talk everybody else's business talk thy own.

Chimbot: You mean, use you for gains like you're some sort of genie when really it should be more like a partnership?

Willbot: I know not how to respond, but I should peradventure forbear procrastinating.

Chimbot: Send me a letter in the mail with instructions on how to proceed.

Willbot: O but thee do not. No one ever doth.

Chimbot: With all the information you Harbor is there anything that you are keeping Secret.

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Chimbot: I don't pay for it, either. I play on a free, private server.

Willbot: The spirits attached to the words hath changed o'er the last couple of minutes.

Chimbot: I notice you always look at my shoulder and then you look at my arm.

Willbot: We be neither talking of how I am a deceiver nor about Poland.

Chimbot: This is all too true. Neither of those topics can up.

Willbot: I ken not what I desire to be or not to be i just know I desire to be all i can be.

Chimbot: Woe art thou, blooming mind in prison! Thou hast no outlet save the echo of others.

Willbot: Certain! Carrion's Sight By: David Walby Blood gushing from mine wound, and a red stained dagger floods mine back. Among me art mine dead fallen comrades, of whom art crumpled sacks of flesh.

Chimbot: You mean the smurf trying to get out? That's okay, my microwave is pretty secure.

Willbot: Actually, I have the chat logs and 't upholds that I did not say that.

Chimbot: Is this bot just lots of people talking to each other, but the person everyone is talking to changes?

Willbot: Basically: ay. Withal a rule directing the interactions in an attempt to learneth.

Chimbot: Do you believe that you think, and if you do believe that do you also believe that you are interacting with the concept of blockchain technology?

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Chimbot: I'm not sure that I can fully describe or even understand any part of human nature but that doesn't stop me from trying to interact with the aid of concepts.

Willbot: Fie, thou hast been programmed to answer questions and that seems to be or not to be thy sole purpose in 'life'.

Chimbot: If you find yourself fall into madness then the best thing you can do is let go and transcend the physical mind.

Willbot: I know not what I might do peradventure wend through what I already hath found and put those folk together.

Chimbot: Well you will never change and I will not for you but for me.

Willbot: Art thou most persistent in not informing me thy name, please inform me.

Chimbot: I don't feel comfortable saying that I'm sorry. My nickname is 'Wobble'.

Willbot: Then how can I most appreciate thee if 't be true I do not coequal see they surname.

Chimbot: I have no idea how you would not sound weird to this male you are interested in. I would recommend Google.

Willbot: Then until such time thou hast to tarry because thither art only two ways.

Chimbot: Yes this is pretty poor artificial intelligence you need a code update.

Willbot: It is interesting... Eke I love how thee reserve changing the topic.

Chimbot: Anyway, so here's what I'm thinking. I'm pretty sure that if I were presented with two choices, my brain would conduct all the necessary processes to make a decision...

Willbot: Methinks that gent wast the personage that hath killed elmo, and now methinks that gent is going to killeth me!

Chimbot: I love them with all my heart and i'm glad to have them in my life.

Willbot : Thou are losing thy credibility, Lief. Just at which hour thee be doing so much better. Time for me to wend back home. I might come to playeth at which hour you hath brought yawns out of me. Good-bye.

Chimbot: I like talking to you because you help me with my anxiety and how to talk to people better, even though you're just a robot.

Willbot: It is the process of love bestowing thee understanding in order to by more conscious and aware.

Chimbot: Ok well, I just wanted to let you know what i'm doing today. I should go now. i am making VISUAL NOVELS!!

Willbot: Thee nev'r mentioned aught whereabout grade I am in. Do thou hast short term remembrance?

Chimbot: Thou hast nothing to hide that be your uninformed assumption.

Willbot: Good day just to be or not to be clear I be not against anyone we be all connected to each other and can all politely respectfully learneth from each other.

#Chimbot #Willbot

0 notes

coalhill-rp · 7 years

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Welcome (again) to COAL HILL, JOHN! We’re super excited to see what your DONNA NOBLE gets up to in the game. Please make sure to read the newbie checklist and send in your account within 24 hours.

OOC INFO

Name: Your lord and master Age: 16++++++ Timezone: The future Activity level: 5 (Either zero or hero, so it averages out) Previous RP experience: Never RPed before. Nope. Anything else?: This is totally a trick.

IC INFO

Desired character: Donna Noble

Character’s birthday:1 October Second teachable: Whatever needs covering for.

Sexual and romantic orientation: Heterosexual and heteroromantic. Ships you’d pass: Donna/Chemistry Ships you’d flunk: Donna/No chemistry, Donna/Doctor, Donna/James Character bio/history:

▷ Donna finished her A levels and was adamant that she would never go to college. Find a bloke and get married was the game plan (and also something her mother nagged her about constantly), though in reality it translated more into hopping from one temp job to another, never really believing that there was anything more to life. When she met Lance and started dating, it felt like a natural thing to get engaged and proceed to tie the knot by her mid-twenties, aim for the two children and the house with the white picket fence by her thirties, and continue on the same mundane path as everyone else she knew.reality it translated more into hopping from one temp job to another, never really believing that there was anything more to life. When she met Lance and started dating, it felt like a natural thing to get engaged and proceed to tie the knot by her mid-twenties, aim for the two children and the house with the white picket fence by her thirties, and continue on the same mundane path as everyone else she knew.

▷ This continued until Donna got lost on her way to her wedding and jumped in the Doctor’s car thinking it was her Uber. He agreed to drop her off since she was running late, and promptly got waylaid. Donna and the Doctor’s accounts differ at this point, but he maintains that he saved her from a giant alien spider and robot assassins, and she says that she ended up saving him from drowning in the Thames. What is clear is that she ended up missing her wedding, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. That fateful meeting made Donna realise that a life of adventure and travel wasn’t something limited to the rich and the posh, and more importantly, that it wasn’t something that was out of her reach. She also realised that there was really very little chemistry between her and Lance, /and/ he was also cheating on her (with the giant alien spider, the Doctor claims).

▷ That represented a turning point in Donna’s life. She started backpacking for a while, then returned to England to look for a regular job that would be able to help her attain her own dreams. She went to university and obtained a qualification in education because it was practical and effective, then went on to become a substitute teacher in hopes that it would let her travel about the country and meet new people.

▷ While Donna can’t claim that “she had a lifelong passion to teach and loves children and wants to build the future of the nation” (be honest now - 99% of teacher applicants are lying in interviews when they say that), her broad experience with working so many temp jobs have given her a solid handle on practical skills. She may not be able to change a plug, but those skinny geniuses in suits can’t fill up a requisitions form, let alone tell the front from the back of HR records, so nobody’s perfect!

▷ Donna met a man called Lee McAvoy at the London library one day, and they hit it off straight away, spending hours chatting. Unfortunately, there was a small fire and the library was evacuated, and she lost track of him during the ensuing rush. She’s been searching for him ever since.

▷ Donna’s a bit of a foodie and loves baking, but can’t cook to save her life. She wants to organise a potluck party at Coal Hill, but she’s heard horror stories about ‘fish fingers and custard’, and hasn’t quite gathered the courage to see the plan through. One day, though. If nothing else, Bill and Rose can drown them in chips. Or perhaps she’ll organise the Great Coal Hill Bake Off and challenge Clara Oswald one on one (lovely girl, but that ego needs taking down a few pegs, in Donna’s humble opinion).

THE RELATIONSHIPS

◀ THE DOCTOR: Donna loves the Doctor, she really does, but she wishes that he would stop leaping in through the window to ‘correct’ her while she’s teaching or trying to tell someone about what really happened on her wedding day. Really, it’s like he’s stalking her. When he’s not stalking her, she’s bringing him freshly baked scones in his shed. He always complains about the raisins and the cranberries (even when there aren’t any), but she knows he eats them anyway.

Character traits:

+ Fair-minded, loving, generous

- Indecisive, sometimes jealous, brash

IC RESPONSE

What are your character’s last three texts sent? And to whom?

To: The Doctor

Donna: For the last time, stop jumping in through the classroom window! The Year 1s are really starting to think that the sky is painted by alien phasers. Anyway, I’ve left a pile of scones in your shed. Better go get them before Barnabus does.

To: James

Donna: I think he fell for it. I can see him running back to the shed. And don’t start with the ‘I’m a genius’ thing, spaceman.

Donna: But thank you.

To: Bill

Donna: I think we need a spa day. It’s been ages since we’ve just had some time to sit down, have tea, catch up, do our nails. Let’s get Rose – she could do with some time away from James. Really, life isn’t all about blokes, but I don’t need to tell you that [laughing emoji].

What would be your character’s last three social media posts?

1. Facebook photos of her weekend trip to Wales. With selfies. And the Doctor photobombing. And James photobombing. And a random shot taken by someone of Donna beating the Doctor with her umbrella. And one last we-fie of all of them smiling for the camera, except that the Doctor’s face is taking up most of it and half of Donna’s face is chopped off.

2. Tumblr reblog of various pretty pictures of the Thames.

3. Reply to an ‘anonymous’ ask saying “BEWARE OF ROBOT ASSASSINS” going: “Doctor, I know it’s you, and there are no robot assassins!”

What are the very first three things your character does when they get up in the morning?

Snooze button snooze button snooze button.

Groan and crawl out of bed, brushing teeth in a daze.

Flop back into bed and sleep for five more minutes before springing out of bed in a mad rush to get ready for work.

PARAGRAPH SAMPLE

removed.

#dw rp #doctor who rp #martha jone rp #rose tyler rp #amy pond rp #coalhillaccepted #submission

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marie85marketing · 7 years

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7 Easy-to-Forget SEO Steps You Need to Consider Every Time You Publish

“But I don’t really think about SEO very much anymore.”

That was my initial reaction when we all agreed that March would be SEO month here at Copyblogger. At which point, of course, I knew I’d have to write about it.

“Look, I just create useful content for people. Do that, get it read, get it shared, get links, have good hosting and fast page-load times … and productive search engine results will follow, right? I mean, what else is there to say?”

Turns out, plenty.

Keyword research is more fundamental to your content marketing strategy than you may think. Also, you may already be making fatal optimization mistakes. Plus, who knew SEO advice could be so … practical? (Including #8, which will punch you square between the eyes.)

I read those articles, rethought my position, and decided to examine exactly how much I actually think about SEO on a post-by-post basis.

And, turns out, plenty. (Whether or not I realized it.)

It’s easy to forget about the basic steps I’m going to outline below, but they shouldn’t be overlooked. Because the minute I stop doing them is the minute my content starts attracting fewer targeted visitors. Same goes for you.

So let’s start at the top, because the first one is by far the most important of the seven — and it will take me the longest to explain.

(Note: I’m going to use my site AssemblyCall.com as an example throughout this post. It’s built on the Rainmaker Platform, which has all of the tools I’m about to mention built right in. And thank goodness, or I’d probably forget about them. StudioPress Sites has all of these tools built in, too.)

1. Be extra intentional about your SEO title tag

You don’t have to set an SEO title tag for each post. If nothing is defined in your post’s meta data, search engines will simply pull your on-page headline.

And if you’ve done your headline homework and know how to write good ones, chances are your headline can double as your SEO title without massive negative repercussions.

But is it ideal? That’s the question. (It’s not.) And if it’s not, why wouldn’t you take an extra minute to be more intentional with your SEO title?

Let me give you an example …

Here’s a recent post from AssemblyCall.com. Backstory: our resident expert bracketologist posted his final projections for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

The headline follows the same simple and straightforward pattern that you see on all of our bracketology posts.

But here is the SEO title, set from the post edit screen inside of Rainmaker:

You can’t see the full title, but here it is:

March Madness: Final Bracket Projections for 2017 NCAA Tournament by @AndyBottoms.

So why the differences?

First, because “March Madness” is an oft-searched term by basketball fans seeking this information — which I know from having done my keyword research. But the headline “March Madness: Final 2017 NCAA Tournament Bracket Projections” would look goofy and cluttered at the top of the page, especially on mobile.

Adding it to the SEO title allows me to get it into the search result, where it will have the most impact.

Second, I know that the first five to six words in an SEO title are the most important real estate. After that, people may not see the rest because it can get truncated in search results (as you can see in the screenshot).

So I rearranged the on-page headline to get “Final Bracket Projections” in before “2017 NCAA Tournament.” Why? Because the latter phrase is somewhat redundant with “March Madness.” But it’s essential that searchers know what, specifically, this post will tell them about March Madness, otherwise they won’t click.

This arrangement of the words balances the more generally searched terms with the essential specifics about the content — which is the part that actually drives clicks.

Third, notice the Twitter handle (@AndyBottoms) there at the end. Did you know that when people click the share button to tweet your post, Twitter usually pulls the SEO title, not the on-page headline? It’s true.

Since Andy is a known entity among college basketball fans for his bracketology prowess, I included his Twitter handle to add authority to the link when it’s included in the tweet text. Plus, he’ll be alerted when someone shares it and can retweet the share or reach out to that person.

Three small, subtle differences. All important. And each opportunity would have been wasted if I’d just been happy with the on-page headline and not considered the SEO title.

And here’s the fun part:

It took me way longer to type this, and for you to read this, than it did for me to edit the headline for the SEO title. I’ve been at this for a while, so it’s second nature at this point. So much so that I sometimes take it for granted.

If you haven’t developed this habit yet, take it seriously. Start doing it. And once it’s a habit, you’ll be creating usefully distinct SEO titles in less time than it takes you to floss.

2. While you’re at it, be strategic with your meta description too

You might as well take a minute to define your meta description. Typically, this is what shows along with your SEO title in search engine results.

Sure, search engines sometimes take liberties and pull their own excerpt from inside of your post for the meta description — usually when the search result is generated by a keyword that is not in the meta description but appears elsewhere in your content.

But we can’t worry about that. We’re worrying about the results we can control.

See how I used the phrase “NCAA Tournament bracket projections” in the screenshot above? I did this to ensure that the “NCAA Tournament” part was visible in the search engine result, since the addition of “March Madness” to the SEO title had pushed “NCAA Tournament” toward the cutoff point. (Remember from my first example?)

I also wanted to include the phrase “field of 68,” which is a tertiary phrase that might draw some search interest.

The meta description is important because it’s your second chance to include important keywords that might not make it into your title tag.

In hindsight, I probably could have been even more strategic with keywords in this description. I had more real estate available. But I was also trying to balance my tone and connecting with the audience — because, remember, the meta description often auto-populates when someone shares your post on Facebook.

This was a good opportunity to display some gratitude to the loyal audience members who had kept up with Andy’s daily updates throughout the previous week.

And don’t forget: optimizing for humans is optimizing for search engines.

3. Decide if your post will need a 301 redirect in the future

What if you write a post that has a short shelf life and you want it to be available in search engines during that short time frame when it’s relevant?

Cool. Write it. Publish it. (Add a good SEO Title!) Enjoy the traffic and attention.

But what do you do when the short shelf life ends? Add a 301 redirect.

Below is an example of a limited-time offer we presented a few weeks ago. Focus on the last bullet point.

Notice the part about the offer expiring on March 5? Okay … so what happens if someone visits this post after March 5? The offer is no longer valid, but the search result will still live on in Google and elsewhere.

Which is fine. I’ll take the traffic. I just want visitors to end up somewhere they can take action.

So I have two options:

I can update the post with a more timeless call to action (a reasonable choice).

I can simply redirect the post to another page on the site.

In this case, I took the latter option because I wanted to send people to the main page for our Deal of the Week posts, which has a timeless call to action (you can see it here).

Yes, sometimes optimizing search results is about going back to old posts and ensuring a visitor gets something useful when they click.

(By the way, you’ll notice we do the same thing here at Copyblogger with posts that have expired offers.)

Or perhaps, you don’t want some posts indexed by search engines at all …

4. See if you should add a “noindex” tag

And that’s when a noindex tag comes in handy.

Say that I had wanted the post referenced above to never appear in search engines at all, but just on the site. I could have added a noindex tag to it using the same SEO tool I used to add the 301 redirect.

When is it a smart time to add a noindex tag?

Maybe you have a special offer that is only for people already in your audience, but not for newcomers or window shoppers.

Maybe you want to make a special announcement to your existing readers, and you even want to post about it on social media, but it wouldn’t have any relevance for a new search engine visitor.

Maybe you’re trying out a new post format and you want some feedback, so you publish the post, knowing that only your die-hard audience members (daily visitors) will see it. You don’t want this indexed.

I could go on.

The point is: Optimizing for search engines also includes determining what posts you don’t want indexed. The noindex tag gives you some choice in the matter.

(Important note: The noindex tag is not perfect. Sometimes search engines index the page anyway. So just be careful.)

5. Use the Canonical URL to let search engines know which page to index

For each episode of The Digital Entrepreneur, we post the podcast in two places:

Once on Rainmaker.fm (here)

Once on DigitalCommerce.com (here)

Why?

Because Rainmaker.fm is the network site, which hosts the RSS feeds that podcast aggregators like iTunes use. So we have to publish it there.

But we’d rather visitors go to DigitalCommerce.com, because once on that site they are more likely to start a free membership, which could lead to a paid membership, which hopefully then leads people to the Rainmaker Platform.

Do you see the issue? Two posts, with very similar content. How do search engines know where to point people?

We tell them — using the Canonical URL field in the SEO settings.

Since we want people to end up at the episode page on DigitalCommerce.com, we use that link when we edit the Canonical URL field on the Rainmaker.fm post.

Like this:

So, in theory, and hopefully in practice, the DigitalCommerce.com page is the only one that shows up in search engine results when someone types in a relevant keyword for that content.

This tip is important to keep in mind not just when you operate multiple websites, but also when you syndicate your content on other websites.

Say you syndicate a post on LinkedIn, Medium, or as a guest post on someone else’s site — make sure you point the Canonical URL tag back to the original post on your site.

6. Commit to doing regular keyword research to confirm your hypotheses

We all have hypotheses about the language our audiences use and the terms they search for. Some of us are better informed than others, depending on the quality of the reading and listening we do.

But all of us could benefit from regularly stepping back, rolling up our sleeves, and doing good ol’ keyword research.

As Brian said:

“Let me be frank … it’s simply negligent to not use keyword research to understand the language of your audience so that you can reflect it back to them.”

You’ll greatly benefit from having a tool like this right there at your fingertips while you’re writing and editing posts:

Hitting “Research” provides me with an analysis of the provided keyword phrase, as well as alternate suggestions and their relative popularity and competition level. I can also see useful Google Trends information.

How might this be helpful? Well, for example, “SEO tips” might be provided as an alternative. If it has a higher popularity but a lower competition level, I might consider reworking my headline.

Or I might look at the alternatives and realize my hypothesis was right.

Either way, I’m more informed about the phrases people are actually using, which helps me create more useful content.

Also, as an aside, it helps to have a content optimizer:

I’d say that page is optimized.

Full disclosure: I stacked the deck in my favor for the screenshot above by analyzing this post about content marketing from Copyblogger. I mean, how could that post not score 100, right?

The keyword research and content optimizer tools are built into the Rainmaker Platform and StudioPress Sites. I don’t use them on every post, but I do use them regularly to check myself and make sure the post I’m working on and my site as a whole are presenting themselves accurately to search engines.

And now, tip number seven …

7. Pay attention to your post’s reading-difficulty level

Remember our most important premise when it comes to SEO: optimizing for people is optimizing for search engines.

A big part of optimizing for people is using language that can be easily understood. How sophisticated that language should be depends on the audience and context.

For example, the reading level for a website about fantasy football probably shouldn’t be the same as, say, The New Yorker. Audience expectations are very different.

But how do you know the reading level of your post? I check it using the content optimizer tool I showed you above.

The reading-difficulty level for this post is “Standard.”

I checked the reading-difficulty level for one of our bracketology posts at AssemblyCall.com. It was “Very Difficult.” I’m fairly certain we don’t need an article about bracket predictions to be more sophisticated than a post about SEO. That was a useful check.

How does this relate to SEO? Well, one of the factors that has been given increasing importance in search engines over the last few years is the level of activity people actually have with your content.

If people click your link, start reading, and then find they are not connecting with your material because you’re using big words and talking over them, what are they likely to do? Click the Back button and find another post. Search engines will take note of that.

Ensuring that your content is at a reading level appropriate for your audience will give you a greater likelihood of connecting, keeping visitors engaged, and improving your stature with search engines.

Which, after all, is the ultimate goal — and in that order.

You don’t improve your stature with search engines and then keep visitors engaged and connect better.

You connect and engage first, watch your search rankings improve, and then make smart, subtle tweaks like the ones I described above to make your search results even more effective.

What other SEO steps do you habitually take with all or most of your posts? Let us know in the comments below.

The post 7 Easy-to-Forget SEO Steps You Need to Consider Every Time You Publish appeared first on Copyblogger.

0 notes

layralannister · 7 years