#anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

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