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smiggles · 9 months

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This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

#smigglesask #I often tell anyone who asks about the callout on me that it is 100000% warranted and that I was a piece of shit and people deserve #to know what kind of person i used to be #I dont want to hide and pretend Im perfect or that I never hurt people

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teaberrii · 1 year

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berri! its been a day and a new chapter already?? have you been eating? have you slept?? are you taking care of yourself?? /j

lol anyways ahh thank you so so much for your hard work!!!!! 🥹🥹 i cant express how much i love MBIMC, its seriously like.. my favourite series ever. i cant believe its already coming to an end??

the end of MBIMC is like the end of a relationship to me AHHAHAAHA, its been here to cheer me up when im stressed or needed some form of encouragement or support. you dont know how much youve done for me as well as other readers but im really grateful for all your work 😭💚

well as they say, all good things must come to an end... and its coming.. 🥲 looking forward to the next (few?) chapter(s). if the curse is lifted, hooray but I can't say i wont miss haikitty 🥹

take care! 🩷

Thank you for asking about my well-being ahaha Yes, I ate, slept, and even played some games XD. I had Friday off from work, so I spent most of that time writing the last chapter :)

I can't believe it's ending either. It's hitting me out of the blue. Even as I'm writing the second last or maybe the last chapter, I'm still like: Huh... it's ending. It's ENDING o_o.

I don't want to give too much away, but I already have a couple of story ideas in the oven. So, I'm pretty excited that this one's ending so I can start writing my next story hehe

I'm so glad that MBIMC brought you some encouragement/support. This story also brought me a lot of happiness as I really enjoyed writing it.

Take care, Anon <3 Hopefully I'll see you for the next adventure that's to come after MBIMC :)

#ask

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sonicattos · 1 year

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i cant believe youre apologizing about Going Insane on the Go Insane website. also youve done nothing wrong. and you really owe us nothing. dont worry about what the rest of us think. you keep doing you. have a good night. ❤️

thank you anon. i’m sorry i was just worried about a specific thing and it spiraled,, im okay now! thanks again and you too 💙

#ask box #saltcat text #not-sonic

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pinksparklelps · 2 years

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I really need to get this off my chest. Whether to just, inform, or give myself some kind of peace of mind. Because i think about this so frequently and sometimes it gets so overwhelming. Everything will be under the cut, so please, protect yourself if you do not like to read about discourse/drama.

First things first, im gonna do what i REALLY dont want to do, and thats ping who exactly im talking to. Even if they dont work at all. @velvet-sword @fluffnstuffq you two. You two are the main sources of my endless thoughts.

I want to start this off with how childish you were. Your “proof” is not proof. I am not, and never will be that stupid asshole terf Florence. I am just as much of a victim as all of you, and you have no right to say otherwise. I guess i could say its my fault for getting so close to popular people that are/are nearly adults when im STILL a kid. And when all of that shit went down i was, what, 14? And you expect me to act like the mature one.

Im so tired of thinking of this almost everyday because you caused me, AND MY GF so much pain and paranoia. Why, WHY on gods green earth would i EVER want to be florence? Tell me. Give me what you think are my thoughts. Because let me tell you, I HATE ATTENTION. Good, bad, neutral, ALL OF IT!! I do not like to be complimented because i feel like i dont deserve it, i dont like to be yelled at because i feel like a failure, i hate when people even LOOK at me because who KNOWS what on earth they could think about me? Even if its just polite eye contact, the thought of someone watching me makes me freeze.

I admit, i have used gacha back then, and I occasionally use it now because the minigames are fun. Character creators are good because i can make characters like that if im not feeling inspired. But SOOO many people use gacha life/club/whatever. Whos to say one of you didnt or did have it installed? I have no proof it was you, you have no proof it was me.

And the fact that you were harassing more people just solidifies the fact that i made a huge mistake in idolizing you back then. I was just a kid who like a silly game about music and shapes, and you basically ostracized me from the entire fandom. I havent played the game in like 2 years because of the terrible memories of you.

And Blitz!! Remember that one person you mentioned that you got us all against? I know them. Theyre actually a nice person. AND. You and gingy. You crossed the line, especially gingy. Stealing my characters after the fact, redesigning them EVER SO SLIGHTLY, and making a goddamn story with them? Even my spiritual oc’s that represent parts of me. You guys are supposed to be role models. You are popular, and older, and you do this to a fucking child? Ive been more mature than youve been in that situation. You all sent hate anons when i just walked away. I wanted to leave but you kept chasing me. Funny how i got no more hate after threatening to block them.

Speaking of which, “changing typing styles.” Only way i change my typing/writing is for fanfiction/stories and when i meet new people. I naturally incorporate others words and phrasing into my language. Hell, one of my new friends got “skill issue” from me haha. It seems to me like you couldve been projecting. Taking your actions and saying IVE done them so everyone looks at me instead of you. Funny, since you care so much about justice. Justice for everyone except the child who was also a victim of tracing and cyber bullying.

And i cant BELIEVE you would think i was abusing my gf. Shes smarter than that you know. If she were in a bad situation i know she would want to leave. If i knew i were hurting someone i would feel so guilty and push who i was hurting away. Well it seems my “loving and sweet gf” facade has worked for 2 years huh. Impressive of me isnt it? No. Me and my s/o are happy and we help each other grow every day. I do something wrong? They point it out, I apologize and do my best to fix it, and vice versa. Unlike you, i know that we are happy and in a really healthy relationship.

And since im talking about all this, rainb! Yes you! You were so incredibly uncomfortable to be around. Just seeing you type was enough for fight or flight to kick in. You were so harsh and not at all understanding and its a miracle you were allowed to be a mod. Sometimes i wonder how many people in that server got hurt and how much the server has fallen into disarray. I just hope people get out of toxic situations like i did.

And lastly, how dare you make fun of my fucking vents. You, you all are utterly amazing! I couldnt even begin to THINK of the possibility of someone doing that! You fucking assholes. I can be scared of my mom and still seek guidance from her. Shes my MOTHER! And i did NOT hide behind her, and it was only ONE TIME when you all were ganging up on me in a private chat. Its not my fault i froze and fucking broke down because you thought i could cause mass chaos in a community i loved. The second you start making fun of someones feelings that they trusted you with, you have become the monster.

No matter how much I despise each and every one of you, i do not wish for you to come to harm, even though you so obviously deserve it. I hate that i want you to be happy. But my mom told me it shows that im just a kind person. Sometimes i miss you, and i hate it because you were awful. I wholeheartedly believe in karma, but i also believe you can do better. I want, need, and deserve an apology, but i know you wont give it. And even if you do, im never ever going to forgive you for what you did to me. I once almost committed suic*de because i couldnt contact you and i didnt want to lose my friends. I couldve been sent to the mental institute back then because i cared so much about losing who i loved. But i see i put my life in the wrong hands.

I felt so hopeless in that server, but in my new group, i see so many talented people and know i trust them. I love them, and i dont feel sad knowing im not as good as them. They are talented, and even if i cant fully see it, i am too. I could never see myself as good enough with you all. But now im happier, and have good friends and family that i know care about me, even if i dont fully think i deserve it. Im happy with where i am. Im happy with how much ive grown.

And even though it hurt so much, im happy i met you guys because it was a learning experience that i never asked for.

I dont care what you have to say to or about me anymore.

Im happy.

#drama #discourse #suicide mention #jsab drama #icy dont look #toxic friends #toxicity

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littlerit · 2 years

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Hello!

i finally caught up fully to time travellers life and ahsjdjsjajjashshahahshdj!!

seriously though its so good! i love all the little details connecting from your earlier chapters and all the “oooohhhhh” moments as i realize how youve set up each detail. ive loved every moment of this fic (even the sad parts) and im so glad you chose to keep writing it. i cant believe the amount of dedication you have (you started this 2 years ago?!?!?) and the plot still makes perfect sense and keeps building on the previous chapters! Impressive! i also love that youve linked others fics at the end of each chapter and i cant wait to start reading those (as well as your other fics). Oh! sidetracked again but i loved the paradox fight scene! very well done! also loved the little detail about five facing dolores towards the ocean when he had ti leave her fir a bit so he could travel. and i love how you adapted the scene in the show where the Handler recruits him to fit your au. anyways cant wait to see how your fic continues and apologies for the likely terribke typos but im more than a bit sleep deprived lol. thank you again fir sharing your fic, its been a great read!

goodbye!

🥰🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🥰

Welcome back! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it, thanks so much for letting me know 🧡 it means so much to hear that the details are appreciated and that the layers I'm trying to build are working!

Yes very nearly two years now, I think started drafting this in August or September after S2! It's been a labour of love, and to share it and see other people love it too makes me so happy. I can't wait to finish it, because it will be so satisfying to finish the first longfic I've tried to write, but I think I'll also miss it when it's done.!

I'm so glad you are going to check out the recs! We have so many talented authors in the TUA fandom, and I love getting to share a bit of the love around!

Thank you for these lovely messages anon, this was a real treat to come home to after work 🧡

#number five fanfic #Five Hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #tua fanfic #Ask

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kiisuuumii · 1 day

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Things will get better. Know your worth. Sometimes it’s hard to see, especially when you feel let down or unnoticed. Sometimes the best way to get what you want is to be open to it, no matter what form it comes in. You catch more fish with a net than a rod and line. Your talent and way with words does not go unnoticed, and your sensitivity is not a weakness. As a sensitive person, I too struggle with overwhelming emotions. It does however mean that when something feels good, it’s a deeper feeling than others will feel, and it also means your empathy is so strong that you will always be openly compassionate which will encourage others to do the same. You are capable of influencing others to do good deeds as well, and when you are able, the good you feel is incomparable. Focus on your light, what makes you happy by being you. Follow your bliss in yourself, then the need for another to make you happy will become less important. There are ways to create the love you so desire through writing. If you really see yourself in it and feel it for the thing you are writing of, no one can take that away.

-Sky Anon

its a bit of a curse, isnt it?—feeling so much, i mean. youre right though that that means we feel the good just as deeply. i know that things will get better, i'm not one to be so much of a pessimist that i start to really believe that things wont; i very much cling tightly to the probability, no matter how small, that ill one day live the life that i want, in the love that i want, with even more people who love and care about me for who i am, just like i want. one day the things i feel now (and maybe the things you feel now) will be just a memory; we wont remember how we felt, only that we did

i think that might be why i am the way i am in this moment, and lately (i promise im not usually so openly self-deprecating, this is just a particularly rougher patch lmao); i want to hold onto some of the feelings i have right now, for a little while longer, just to really feel them, until im spent. esp when it comes to trying to be open to other forms of the things i want. ive been trying to stay optimistic ofc, but i think if youre stuck on something, theres a reason for it; it wouldnt be smart for me at least to force myself open rn when there are things this closedness is probably trying to teach me

certainly doesnt mean im not trying to move forward tho ! if you can picture it, im always walking on a path forward, only looking back occasionally, while crying my heart out lol

also, one thing you might have a bit wrong about me is that i don't want someone to make me happy. id done a lot of looking for that in other people when i was younger, and as i separated myself from that version of me over the years, ive come to learn how to find and make happiness for myself (even if its not perfect, the way i do it, and even if it takes me a hot minute sometimes); i guess you could say im more looking for someone(s) to be happy with, to live life with, the good and the bad (even when i cant see past the bad at times), and that im trying to put aside some of my own feelings to make room for that

i feel like i sound condescending or dismissive, and im sorry if i do come across that way, but lowkey this helped me kinda see why i still havent let some things go despite my saying so; so thank you, sky anon, for taking the time to write such a heartfelt message !! i might not understand everything yet, but youve given me a piece of clarity thatll at least help me start

#?#🌄#how funny you send me an ask when i was thinking abt what to tag asks (if i ever got any) literally yesterday #i wish there was a better emoji to rep the sky but youll get this sunrise one instead #and tldr; im too dramatic for my own good sometimes but thats okay #i might commiserate big #but i love big too #so you dont need to worry about me #though its nice to know someone does :'''^) <3

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hcuyk · 2 months

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how r u vae its been so long - 🌈

RAINBOW EMOJI ANON WTF 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE FACT YOURE STILL HERE???? AND STILL RMBR USING THE RAINBOW EMOJI??? THATS SO INSANE TO ME OH MY GPD HPW HAVE YPU BEEN :((**(

im sorry i responded to this so late, im still dealing witj the aftermaths of a breakup, but im getting a lot better!! but im on period so im kind of in a lot of pain 😭 but!! the semester is ending, im third of the way done ish? with editing this youtube video? and im hoping this summer i can pick up writing my hyunjae fic!! just so many plans, so much going on in my life. how about you????? how have you been? OH! im also in college now!!! a huge milestone id say :D

cant believe youve been here since i was 16 like :( wtf :( thank you so much for staying and returning it means the world

#inbox: 🌈!

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magemii · 2 months

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Something something I am the queen of england and radqueer is bad now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done /J

-sage anon

cant believe youve risen from the dead to speak to me queen lizzie..? are you transalive???

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clericbyers · 5 years

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okay but present day byler listening to chasing cars together and laying on wills bed and that’s where mike realizes he loves him

“I made a new playlist if you’re down to listen,” Will points out one day while he and Mike are lazing about outside on the porch. Mike’s kicking his Vans through the dirt before him and coughing out the dust that catches in his throat.

“Yeah, sure,” he wheezes out, “you always have the best song order in your lists than anyone else.”

Will laughs. “You only like my ordering because your favorite songs are almost always first.”

“You know me too well.” Mike grins up at his friend and feels his heart do that funny flip thing it’s been practicing recently. If recently could be at least the past five years or so, sure.

Mike kicks dirt again and climbs fully to his feet. “You know you’re lucky Lucas isn’t here and you’re wearing just Vans.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’d murder you for kicking your feet around with Air Maxs on, especially the 270 React.”

Mike sticks out his tongue playfully, which makes Will roll his eyes before motioning for Mike to follow him inside. It’s just them today; Joyce is out working, Hopper is at the station, Jonathan got hired to take photos all day for some Instagram influencer in Indianapolis, and Elle is out with her girlfriend Max in the city. Mike always feels a little nervous being alone with Will these days. It’s mostly anxiety in his head brought by silly daydreams of maybe holding his best friend’s hand as they sit on the porch, or of kissing him every time they see each other, small pecks and long hungry kisses that each encapsulate everything he’s wanted for a long time.

Mike often wonders if he’s projecting in some fashion, taking out all his gay feels and pressing them on Will since they’re the closest in the Party. It’s no secret where Mike’s interests lie (if the rainbow pin he wore everywhere didn’t broadcast it enough, the rainbow flag in his room was a big, well, flag. Plus, Mike almost always referred to himself as the secondary gay in town, only second to Will), but absolutely no one knows how he feels about Will. Mike’s not even sure either and that’s the worst part.

If he can get a handle on what exactly all his thoughts toward Will mean, if he’s sure he’s not taking out his celebrity crush on Jake Gyllenhaal on Will, then maybe something could be done.

Will plops down onto his bed and starts scrolling through his phone. Mike stands in the doorway for a second longer, watching Will’s fingers grip the sides of his phone before one hand reaches up to brush freshly cut bangs from his head. Mike’s heart catches on a beat and gets lost in the rhythm of Mike’s turbulent emotions.

“Aren’t you gonna sit down?” Will asks with a small chuckle. “I don’t bite.”

“Oh good,” shoots back Mike as he makes his way to Will. “I thought you were a cannibal.”

Will leans over and nips lightly at Mike’s bare arm. His tongue dances across Mike’s skin for just a moment and Mike’s face turns vibrant pink. Will though makes a face and pulls away with a groan. “If I was a cannibal, I wouldn’t eat you.”

“Am I too stringy?”

Will shrugs. “If I ate you then I wouldn’t be able to hang with you every day. I can hold off the temptation for eternity as long as you’re still here.” Mike is going to combust. “Plus, you taste gross.”

“Haha.” The curly haired boy tightens the scrunchie holding his hair back in a loose ponytail—courtesy of Elle—before laying down beside Will. “C’mon, let’s listen to this playlist of yours.”

Will turns on his Bluetooth speaker and then starts up the music. He settles in next to Mike and they both stare into each other’s eyes until Will starts giggling and then closes his eyes as he hums along to the music. They both alternate between humming and singing along, butchering lyrics on purpose and Mike belting out whatever he can when Mr. Brightside and 19-2000 plays.

“Oh,” Will perks when an unfamiliar guitar riff starts playing. “This is the last song; I found it recently. I think you’ll like it.”

Mike opens his eyes and clears out his head enough to take a listen.

We’ll do it all; everything, on our own.

“The melody is nice,” he replies somewhat distractedly. The calmness of this opening has him a little by the throat, and he’s anticipating a rise in energy once the drums start but he still takes in the simplistic instrumentation this far in.

We don’t need; anything, or anyone.

Fair enough.

If I lay here, and Mike snorts to himself given he and Will are just laying around themselves, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Mike feels his throat clench at that. That hits a little too close to home. He chances a glance at Will, who has his eyes closed and oh, oh, there goes Mike’s heart again doing those dumb cartwheels in his chest because Will looks so content and happy being here with Mike.

I don’t quite know; how to say, how I feel.

Mike feels the bottom drop out his stomach. Fuck.

Those three words are said too much; they’re not enough.

Those three words…those three words. Oh. Yeah. Mike stares up at the ceiling and takes in a deep breath. Yeah, it’s—it’s not enough is it? Not really. Will knows Mike loves him, everyone knows Mike loves his friends but this…emotion that consumes Mike unwillingly when Will just glances at him? Those three words really aren’t enough after all.

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Will fidgets and peaks open an eye before sending Mike a sleepy smile.

Forget what we’re told, before we get too old.

Mike thinks back to their younger years, when all the adults in town admonished him for being so close to Will, for daring to show interest in other boys outside of friendship. How they told him he couldn’t like boys, that it was wrong and evil even now in this century despite what big city life promoted. So he came out in 8th grade, wore rainbow pins and socks and anything he could, went with Nancy into the big city to buy a pride flag in 9th grade, went to prom with his (very short term) boyfriend in 10th grade, and promptly ignored everything he had been taught before about it being wrong to like who he liked.

He won’t grow old enough to be unable to escape the rhetoric. None of the Party will.

Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.

Will opens his other eye and scoots in just a bit closer. Mike can feel the heat from his leg even though they aren’t touching at this distance. He thinks he might passing out if he can’t get his breath back.

Let’s waste time chasing cars around our heads.

Mike feels a little fuzzy now, almost punch drunk from Will’s closeness. He scoots in too, turns on his side to face Will a little better. Will turns as well and now they lie so close, knees knocking together and barely enough space between their faces. Will’s bed is far too small for two people, but right now it seems just about the perfect size.

I need your grace to remind me to find my own.

“Mike?” Will whispers, too gentle in the rising beat of the song.

Mike can’t stop thinking; he can’t shut off his brain, it’s only processing one thing and it’s putting a label to those stupid emotions that have been consuming him since they were kids. The emotion that he knows is more than friendship for the past five years. But now…

“I’m in love with you.”

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Will is crying. No sobs, no messiness, just one of those uncontrollable smiles framed by sweet wetness dripping from his eyes. Mike leans forward to brush the tears from his best friend’s face, no, not just his best friend, someone he loves more than any words could detail.

Forget what we’re told, before we get too old.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

There’s something so liberating about saying it aloud, something so freeing about hearing something known since they first sat on the swings together and decided to become friends. Mike feels like his life is starting all over again now that he’s basking under the rays of Will’s returned affections.

Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.

The garden, it’s his heart, tended to by the only boy he’s ever truly loved.

All that I am, all that I ever was, and Mike takes Will’s hands in his own as the other boy blushes slightly, is here in your perfect eyes.

Perfect green eyes that go soft at the edges and look blue under the right lighting, expressive big eyes that echo everything Mike’s ever felt like twin mirrors reflecting his soul.

They’re all I can see.

Mike can’t look away now, if ever. God, he’s so in love, huh. It took him this long to realize it.

I don’t know where. Confused about how as well.

How did Mike fall anyway? He doesn’t know. It wasn’t much of a fall anyway, more of a sink, a slow dip into deep rich waters lavishing the beaches of his mind. Gentle waves of reminders about how much different Mike feels toward Will, but never a label until now. Now, there’s only love crashing to shore and Mike accepts the waves with the ease of a Californian surfer.

Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

Nothing’s changed. Nothing has ever changed really.

“If I lay here,” Will whispers with the last verse of the song, singing just enough to keep the pitch but breathy with emotion he can’t contain. “If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Mike smiles and he knows it’s the dopey one, he can’t help himself, but Will is going pink and he’s so lovely. Mike’s sure Will knows his verbal answer so he shows it instead, closing the gap with a kiss that should have happen years ago. But things happen for a reason, and now, Mike decides as Will clamps his fists into Mike’s shirt and deepens the kiss until only the sound of their slow but needy kissing takes the room after the song ends, is the perfect time and reason for it all.

#yams answers #yams writes #byler #byeler #pleasseee im a mess!!!!!#anon i cant believe youve done this!!!!#i canntttttt!!!#also look up the 270 reacts those kicks are fly #saw them in person and fell in love uhhhhhggg #otp: palaric

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