Chapters: 2/3 Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron & Nesta Archeron, Elain Archeron & Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron/Eris Vanserra Characters: Nesta Archeron, Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron, Eris Vanserra, Eris Vanserra's Hounds, Cassian, Rhysand, Morrigan, Helion (A Court of Thorns and Roses) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, timeloop AU, Absolute chaos after chapter one, Timeloop ending death but also. Murder, fuck around and find out as a Plan, The Hybernian War, Bisexual Lucien Vanserra, Bisexual Nesta Archeron, Found Family, Arson, best friends overnight, (and very different reactions to that fact), Elain Archeron has a personality and a brain, Bookstores as important rebellion, healing and becoming, Oral Sex, Canonical Abusive Relationships Summary:

It takes sixteen loops, to realize the trick to resetting is to let himself die.

@skychild29 @missanniewhimsy @blackcanary13 @ae-neon @theknittingoracle @andrigyn

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato, I'd shoot Plato twice

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

Carl, about Bea: I can forgive controlling behaviour, but I draw the line at not telling me about my stepmother and half brother.

Katia, Mordecai and literally everyone else: You can forgive controlling behaviour????

lore accurate teen soukoku. the worsties ever

doctor who is so hilarious cuz its like yes we are a sci-fi show exploring dark themes of morality and obsession and the implications of present-day capitalism and yes our lead artists are Spice Girls and Britney Spears hope this helps <3

"wyll's too nice i'd like him more if he were a little meaner and angrier" you guys couldn't handle vivienne de fer having a complicated relationship with the oppressive system she was raised in. you couldn't handle liam costa making a minor but well-intentioned mistake. you couldn't handle preston garvey having a recurring fetch quest.

you couldn't even handle early access wyll who was angrier and grappled with moral quandaries more. and you can't handle wyll as he is now when he playfully teases astarion.

the creators of Ted Lasso really said we’re going to make a football show using every rom-com trope and beat not about an actual romantic pairing but rather to tell a story about grown ups becoming better people through love, openness, mutual support, and therapy.

Your "non-confrontational" choices not to communicate hurt the people you don't confront btw. You're not a martyr for keeping everything inside and then running away when other people don't know what's going on with you. You just decided avoiding rejection and sparing your own feelings was easier than being honest and giving them the agency to respond and make their own decisions. You chose to hurt them so they didn't hurt you. You think your feelings are realer and more important than their own care and love for you. You were always just waiting for a sign to run.

"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?

Your choice not to communicate isn't cute. You didn't run because they didn't feel the same for you. You ran so you wouldn't have to risk rejection. You chose to prioritise your own self-protection over their trust in and love for you. At least own that.

“how am I ever going to explain this in my prayers..”

etoiles absolutely going off on quackity for dying to a fly (A FLY????) + cellbit losing it in the bg

based on this fic

desperately need to ride him in the backseat of his car and ask him ‘what are we’ in between kisses. i need him to tell me ‘we’re just friends’ and i’ll nod in agreement, swallowing the lump in my throat and blinking back hot tears. but friends don’t get jealous when they see another guy flirting with their supposed ‘girl best friend.’ friends don’t feel the need to pull you away from other people and act hostile and bitter towards you afterwards out of anger, simultaneously refusing to let you out of their sight out of fear that you’ll find someone else to be “friends” with. friends don’t roughly fuck you against their mattress and purposefully leave bruises and marks along the visible parts of your skin. friends don’t beg you to not look or touch anyone else that isn’t them as they cum inside of you. friends don’t clench their jaw and look away after you ask them post-sex why they acted like you were theirs, when after all, the two of you are just friends.

WHAT THE FUC KIS HAPPENING

did i fix it

doing skk meme redraws instead of sat prep >:)