#and to probably pass out for a month
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I'd probably be less stressed if I stopped my very much NOT funny tradition of having a bazillion things happening 'round me at the end of the year
#still waiting to see if my doctor is going to approve my blood work#still on talks with my bank to see if the plan gets approved and I actually get to own a place#still waiting for the agency to call us back about the place we saw tuesday and we'd be interested in#I also am going to be a... dunno the nongendered form of how I'm going to have a niece in less than a week#i'm working my ass off so i don't get sacked at the beginning of the year#planning a move + how it's going to work#how we are going to be asking for days off on both of our jobs considering it all#the conversation regarding companies pertaining light#water and all of the basic necesseties#which revolves around on the fact that I need to feign being a woman for all of them and keep accepting and signing forms under a gender i'#very much not bc here i don't get to be legally recognized as anything but the binary#and the mental inner countdown all of it brings bc since taking t i'm gearing towards a more androgynous look and therefore more difficult#to pass with each passing week#i REALLY want a break#and to probably pass out for a month#(and knowing that atop of it all i'm starting to burn out and I'm not being as good of a friend I should be)#fuck off mental gnome#ps to those that might be reading the tags#me trying to own a place is mostly due to a need since mortages are cheaper than anything these days and our lease is going to be up in a#year#and we know they will not keep the monthly payment the same if we keep leaving here giving that they've increased the amount twice already#so we need to move and we need to do it now whilst i'm still under 30#as banks offer aid to those that try to own a place under 30 and they look to the oldest of the couple#which would be me#I'm 28#soon to be 29 in -also- less than a week#can i have a fucking break xd#living and not leaving#not editing a single tag we die like fanfic authors who don't give a damn
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an understanding [1/2]
(part 2)
#hi. oh my god someone kill me it has been Way too long#like a month. sorry about the wait but end of the school year has been killing me. you know how it is#asks will now slow down too because i need to. finish part two first#hopefully posting this will motivate me to do it ?!?!??#maybe i’ll release it in june. Like um. like silksomg. lol (bursts into tears)#in the meantime. feeding you all not crumbs but whole bread slices. ok!#anyway. i like how this turned out. glad they’re errr ‘talking it out’ as the kids say#also forgot to make that masterpost stuff whatever. will probably do that sometime in this life#anyway 2. passes out#myart#oc: no way back#oc: needless separation#mycomics
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mistystar n who
I think fratboy Podlight who sends his powerful grandmother stupid texts is a VERY funny concept.
"My dad didn't love me because he could never move on from the lover he had in his 20s. My sister is up to no good. I party hard at Aftergatherings about it, are you rockin' with me?"
He is 38 cat-years-old.
#BB!Podlight#Aftergatherings#Better bones au#Fennelposting#There's a secret AU of the AU where everything is exactly the same but the cats have the ability to text tbh#I do occasionally just for fun imagine what their phones would be like for no particular reason#Misty is the sort of old person you think you'll have to teach how to use an app#But the moment never comes and you find out she actually has a whole ass burner phone and even refuses to upgrade to--#--a more modern model because she doesn't trust a device she can't take the battery out of#And your blood goes cold for a moment because like... Gamgam?? Silly funny gamgam with the long speeches at gatherings???#When pressed she's just like ''once you give a secret to the world you can never take it back. Knowledge is power and power is a weapon.''#It's fun. I wish I had a way to translate half of these fun phone thought experiments into canon compliance lmao#Btw just as an aside. If this ever DID become an original project it would probably take some inspiration from like...#I really love the new Zelda games' magitech take on an apocalypse. VERY cool idea.#Months ago I had a passing thought of Fallen causing such an apocalypse and entertained it for fun for a while.#Put it down ofc because I like the project in its current form#But it was a fun thought.
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Care for your sparring partner (Patreon)
Bonus:
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Sylvia#Wander#Everyone asking Peepers questions that just skirt that line: The Series lol#Shoutout to Autumn for directing my attention this way and encouraging my brain to think about this A Lot lol#Drawing Peepers sliding around 'cause he just throws himself into everything ✨ That's it that's the whole thought lol#I haven't worn a binder for long enough to lose my breath so apologies if this isn't quite how it goes but y'know - *gestures at The Vibe*#He would overwork himself to the point of nearly passing out if it meant he could keep fighting the way he wants to pfft#Sylvia's rough and tumblr and she can be mean but even she won't kick him while he's down! Mom friend activate haha#She's grown a lot <3#Also getting a bit easier to draw her >:3c She does have a fun design :D#Her mouth is the most fun haha ♪ It really reminds me of Moomin! Cute cutout shape :3#''Why are you fighting with like five coats on'' ''Dysphoria'' ''Ah''#Notice how he covers his chest when she brings up his ''tank top'' ♪ She just goes on giving him a lecture and he's like ''Did she notice''#She didn't lol especially if that bonus is any indication#Weeks/Months/Years later and she's just like ''So that time we were fighting he was- He wasn't- :0000'' Lol#Bonus Wander brushing her comb ♪ Gotta take care of his best friend/steed! Probably just knocking the dust and dirt off haha#Their discussion would probably be silly hehe you know he'd ask and then /she'd/ ask#''Did you know??'' ''I don't make it my business to pry into other's personal matters-'' ''First of all that's not even a little bit true''#It's just all about respecting boundaries! All the way around :) Respect the sanctity of the relationship whether it's friendly or combative
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Happy Birthday to Bernadetta 💜
#bernadetta von varley#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#fire emblem#bernadetta#my art#it's not midnight here yet but shhh i have work i cant stay up#and with this posted i pass out for the rest of the month. probably
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#insanely jealous of the pregnant people that can do the mental gymnastics of smoking#some fat ass Biden ditch weed kush while carrying their parasite that imbibes in everything they do#by the time there is research on it that’s come out I will probably be way out of pregnancy and even breastfeeding years#though I did tell gilgamesh for my 31st all I want is to get insanely shnookered. higher then giraffe hog#I’ll pump beforehand. pump n dump after. bean will be four months#and all I want is to be able to get insanely high. I want to be so high#I walk into the nursery like lol… whose baby is this??#though most likely w fourth trimester sleep deprivation I’ll honk that bobo and just pass tf out
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Boo!
I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]
#Udi posting in 2023? truly a christmas miracle#Now it'd be pretty funny if everyone seeing this collectively thought 'who the hell is this person?' I mean. UNDERSTANDABLE-#I've been gone for so long I don't even recognise this dash layout help??#Excuse me while I have a grandma moment trying to figure out where things are#Anyway I don't have much to post since I've barely drawn in all these months. So many art blocks stacked on top of more art blocks#(among other things)#BUT I still have some drawings here and there. Not the best I've ever produced but hey it's something#and you know what happens when Udi has an art block? Exactly. Cateeva content (and silly drawings) (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧#Now it's time for me to fill my room with sticky notes reminding me to take things easy#you'll have to bear with my slowness for a little bit longer. Life hit me hard recently and everything feels so heavy to me#but I just didn't want to let this year pass without saying anything...#I actually missed being on here. If I see art or an oc from any of my moots I'll probably cry on the spot#Moot reading this you've been warned (🫶)#I'll shut up now. I really hope everyone's doing as good as they can. This is such an awful world#Udi talks
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you can call me heartless all you'd like, but it won't bring her back and it won't help you heal.
#tails the fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x#based on a roleplay I had with my partner. who writes an extremely incredible shadow#I write my thoughts here because Sonic X ending has me terribly fucked up#considering how young tails is to be suffering from grief I bet it's especially difficult to handle a kid who has no clue how to process it#who had to make an extremely unfair choice to kill someone he loves. and then to take it out on his big brother#Taking out his anger and insisting on blaming someone for cosmo's death... it's very heartbreaking.#Imagining if Shadow had come back and Tails had not finished grieving yet. there already soooo much anguish#Exploring grief in art is very very fun but there is something so gutwrenching imagining someone so young have to figure out how to deal#with that. younger people often acting out and not realizing how unfair they are until time has passed and not understanding#multi faceted perspectives etc. I know its a bit odd to go crazy about osmething like this over Sonic X but something about Cosmo and Tails#just hit very hard and I care about them very much. tails is huge favorite. i care about him so much#I probably shouldn't dwell on the sad parts of sonic x too much but that last scene tails has with sonic stuck hard#Can't imagine how strained it might feels for the next few months. and Sonic just takes it. Can't even look at Tails or answer him. HMMMM#anyways im done being chatty in tags I will delete my thoughts later as per usual. hehe. Sorry <3#sonic
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I'm re-reading Visions of V right now and in my 5 years of being a DMC fan I just realized Dante doesn't get to properly see Nero lost his arm until that scene right after Dante gets Faust
the implications...oh what was going through Dante's head when he saw that
#cause like he probably didnt get a good look while Nero was fighting Urizen cause he was busy being passed out#and then not long after that he went on his month long nap#at least it didnt last long#dmc5#devil may cry#dmc dante#dmc nero
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...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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seems I’ve taken the wrong turn
#pokemon#swsh#champion leon#hi. guess I really had to do this to myself immediately after three months of not drawing#well! it's somethin#will probably not do something like this again for at least a few months lmao#this one! is mostly about being lost#putting as much shit abt directions in there as possible lol#and! where I don't know what to do. put viet stuff in. bc I can and I want to#hm. as is tradition. I will now pass tf out#thinking abt making monsters this week! I miss doing that a Lot#will figure out a time for that. probably weekend is the best bet. meanwhile I read books and catch up with some other art stuff#have a good night guys!! when in doubt follow the right wall
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im so grateful for this corner of the internet where i can just get my frustrations out
#self obs#i will delete this later but i just need to get it out#i told my two best friends about how i got rejected and they both were just like move on lol#like i don’t think they realize how awful i feel right now like literally that was my dream and im scared im never gonna be able to do it#i also somehow have to tell my parents and that’s a whole different problem#my parents are already up my ass about me quitinh my job for no reason#well basically i think they’re trying to get me to move home for the summer which doesn’t make sense to quit my job i’ve been working at#for almost a year to come back and get a job for a month#but like i can’t think of another reason that my parents would randomly want me to quit my job#so i’m stressed about that and now i also have to tell them i got rejected and now i can’t start the part of my degree that i need for my#fucking job and fuck i’m so stressed and don’t know what to do#and im just like so embarrassed and everyone is acting like its not a big deal even tho like if i apply again i probably won’t even get it#because i didn’t even make it past the interview phase and anyways im just so upset with myself and everything#i like actually thought my life was turning around and i was gonna be happy finally but nope#anyways this is just me sobbing and trying to let out my frustrations because no one will actually listen or validate that i’m upset#whatever im gonna go drink some wine and probably pass out on the floor of my room
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I am so pissed off someone needs to just grip me and tell me yes they believe me and my health and what's happening to me is real. and that it IS unfair that a vaccine did it and it IS shitty how medicine did not take it seriously and rarely still does and just ignores the harm because it was too rare (ignorable) to count and even if vaccination against covid was the best utilitarian thing to do it still MATTERS that I had severe issues from that mirror severe severe long covid.
#AND i have long covid but even though i passed out from not being able to breathe and was fever delirious for weekss#still better than the vaccine😭 at least after 2 weeks i got like 80 percent better#with the covid vaccine i was sicker in less dangerous ways and it took like. 8 months and medications to get 40 percent better#and had health crises from the fact it caused a hemmorage in my optic nerve#🤷♂️🤷♂️#they both flare up tho#probably make worse#my fingers are so painful and so numb i can barely text#i should sleep 😭😭#delete
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Red vs. Blue
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Characters: Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), The Meta | Agent Maine, AI Program Epsilon | Leonard Church, Leonard L. Church | AI Program Alpha
Summary:
At Epsilon's direction, his hand reaches into the control panel, fingers outstretched to eviscerate, gut the system and set the two of them free. Then, light arcs and meets skin, crawling up his flesh to sear into the base of his skull.
Washington's brain is on fire.
#pb.txt#rvb#red vs blue#agent washington#david washington#i am going to pass out i have been working on this fic for 3 months#i finally just got sick of looking at it#will i probably go in and edit it tomorrow?#yes. yes i will.#but for now.
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..
#ive been very lucky in that the last family member i remember passing away was when i was like 6#like i’ve never really known any of them since#but my cat is dying from a really aggressive form of cancer#and probably only has a month at most#and now i’m having to go through this with my best friend#we got her right before christmas in 2015#or maybe 14#because our cat went missing and a man reached out thinking she was her#and she very clearly wasn’t#but the guy couldn’t take care of her so we took her home because we could#and she’s been my best friend basically since then#she’s always been there for me through the worst years of my life#she’s never left my side#when we took her home that first day she peed on me in the car lol#she still doesn’t like leaving the house#even though she used to beg outside of a gas station before us#and last night on the way to the hospital she peed on me again#so i guess it’s full circle in that way lol#idk what to do#we can’t see her until tomorrow#so i just have to sit here and act like my best friend isn’t dying#delete later#yap yap yapping#you don’t need to reach out or respond or anything i just. need to vent and i’ve exhausted everywhere else and i feel bad messaging friends
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iskra trying to register herself as a member of house fdaxi after her marriage. but the thing is. she's already legally a member of House Martok because martok adopted julian after their stint in prison together. it was meant as an ornamental gesture of friendship (and also 'hey, we fucked a lot back then') but now all of julian's adopted kids are also sort of legally related to the chancellor of Qu'oronos
#dee s 9#elderly martok like Oh sure. these are the children of the twink and the cardassian that helped us break out of prison.#yes they can stay on my insurance. they have honorable and noble meins.#iskra probably bit him once as a kid and hes like Hah hah! a fighter's spirit! like bro she drew blood that's abnormal#she doesnt get any like. dividends or voting rights or anything. its purely just a fun little title that bashir got#that technically passes down to his issue#it feels like the klingons are a lot more accepting of adoptees anyways#this is so funny. iskra like Ohhhh oh my god thats right! i AM in house martok! cause my dadek is his bestie. haha i forgor :)#loudly eating freezedried gagh at the city hall#rulada like. oh right. chancellor martok. the greatest contemporary leader of qu'oronos. you forgot you are a member of his house#thats not Chancellor Martok thats their klingon uncle who video chats with julian once every month or two and yells a lot#these garashir kids. intergalactic nepo babies fr
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