#and then when gallifrey is saved... does the doctor (again: whose life you saved!!! when you last saw each other) come looking for you? no | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shkspr · 3 years

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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

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ssaalexblake · 4 years

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it’s controversial tuesday again, so like... time lord victorious is basically the doctor’s entitled ‘i am the last of the time lords, i am entitled to what i want b/c i’m hot shit’ moment, he’s thinking he’s better than everybody else and is entitled to certain privileges the rest of us mere mortals aren’t by virtue of being like, Him. You know, last of the time lords, the uncoming storm.

The Lonely God.

And that’s like, Super popular as a story line in fandom.

Which is why it’s so ironic that the timeless child thing, a story about the doctor being abused and medically tortured as a child refugee is perceived and then judged poorly as a story about the doctor being special and chosen and superior because of their biology and abilities.

Now don’t get me wrong, i Hate that ten phase, it’s immature, babyish, and about as far away from cool as possible to get and it’s infuriating because he never pays for it, and i pray the doctor will never sink as low as he did there again, but that story is legit an Actual example of what is Apparently bad about s12′s finale, but instead of being slated it’s lauded as brilliant even though ten never faces Actual consequences of any note for his massive superiority complex that is based on little more than his ego as The Doctor, Lonely God, Last of the Time Lords. Him being Special.

the doctor doesn’t become a hero until they escape the cycle of abuse they were put in when they ended up on gallifrey, which does not happen until the first doctor has some decency yelled into him by two school teachers in the 60′s, biology has Never been what makes the doctor great and their ‘i am better than others b/c of my species’ bs is exactly that, bs, because even if the doctor started out a child refugee Or if they were living their first childhood with the master, they never become a hero until they Leave and put effort into being better. If the doctor is ever better than anybody in the show, it’s because of their newfound ideals making them the better person in a situation, that’s all. Not because they’re a time lord/whatever species they are revealed to be now.

The timeless child plot is about abuse, about gallifrey’s using and abusing and throwing away of a refugee, they stole a child’s abilities, claimed them for their own and then ditched the kid and Hated them and Ostracized them and lauded themselves as the Very best in the universe, superior, and erased from the narrative the child they abused and stole from to achieve their great feats. Gallifrey has always been a metaphor for the british empire, put all of the above in context of said real life empire (and you know, modern day country, it’s still relevant) and see the biting criticism. This child was not Chosen, they were a refugee abused by a society that did not care for them beyond how they would benefit them and then thrown away and then denied the credit for their own abilities. See again, the entire history and actions of the british empire.

The tragedy of the timeless child story is, really, it’s not about the kid. The kid whose name we don’t know because it didn’t matter to the people who were supposed to be loving and nurturing them, not using them. We know nobody saves this child because we know they save themself.

Time Lord Victorious, though, is very much ten acting like your average time lord. Pig headed, superior, better than everybody else because he’s a time lord. a ‘the doctor is better than everybody else because of their biology and their perception as some kind of chosen one’ story Does exist in dw, but it’s not a 13 era plot, it’s with Ten. But apparently when it’s Him it’s fun?

The thing is, dw is kind of based upon the doctor being no better than humans because they’re a time lord, the doctor being special and better because of their biology and abilities Is a terrible take, which is why time lord victorious isn’t cute, cool, edgy or in any way fun, tbh, it’s a breakdown of the doctor and while that’s not bad in itself, it ends up being so because ten is never Actually taken to task for it, they portrayed him acting that badly but neglected to truly make him face consequences for it. So i agree with the assertion that ‘the doctor is special because of their biology and smarts’ is an awful take, but that is Not the what the timeless child plot is saying At All. You’re looking for Ten.

(eventually dw does kick the doctor in the pants with their superiority complex, but we have to wade into moffat era for that and Ten never learns and He needed to face his own ego, tbh, not ones down the line)

#dw shit #this makes no sense #no biting pls it will be ignored tbh i am just Frustrated #ten can do no wrong apparently #but it's freaking annoying seeing s12 get slated for something it never damn did #while a plot which Does do that gets lauded Still because it's cool???#s12 actually has some very biting commentary on the use and abuse of refugees but... nope not abt that apparently #also i don't necessarily object to the doctor having an ego fit it's jsut you have to follow through!!!! they didn;t #it was bad writing not necessarily a poor storyline

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mobius-m-mobius · 4 years

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23 for the prompt

Thank you so much for the prompt! 😁

Going with a different spin in the usual post EoT setting for 23. Reunion (under a cut because I have no self control, apparently 😂)

Five days.

That's how long it takes before the Master, whose reputation does indeed proceed him, gets stolen away again.

In hindsight the Doctor knows he should have seen this coming. Nothing about the Master is discreet and considering how quickly even Naismith's limited forces managed to track him down it shouldn't be surprising that their confrontation with the council attracted more than enough attention.

Still, he had thought (hoped) the two of them were entitled to - Well, who knows what he expected. Peace is something they'll never know and there's too much history between them to jump into happiness. But traveling together after all this time is as close to either as he thought he could have that more than five days out of nine hundred years worth doesn't seem like much of an ask.

“Apparently not,” he mutters, slamming a hand against the console as he runs yet another scan. It feels like all he's done in the past twenty-four hours is run in circles and trace readings, anything to give him the slightest clue as to where they've gone to no avail.

He keeps flashing back over the days they had. As wary as he had been to let the Master on the Tardis his hearts were pounding with the fact that they battled Rassilon together, finally, unquestionably chose each other and despite the Master's show of reluctance he had to assume he felt the same.

“Please, just – come with me.”

“Oh good, I was wondering when that knack for penance you've got would show back up again.”

“Stop it! You saved my life a few minutes ago. Just like I saved yours, and – No, don't, I didn't do it because I expected anything from you, I just. It's different now, isn't it?”

“... As much as it ever is.”

“Come with me, Master. We can go anywhere. There have to be ground rules, just a few. You know there have to be, but that's all I'm asking.”

“Oh, is that all, Doctor?

But he still followed and though they fought fiercely over the Doctor insisting on remote locations to start it was everything he wished he never ran from in the first place. Watching a nebula they heard about as children, arguing over star formations, picturesque landscapes that went on for miles as the Master cracked tasteless jokes all the while just to get a rise out of him.

Then, their stop yesterday. A remote beach with pink sand and sun that gleamed behind the Master throwing him a wicked smile until a blast threw them apart.

He landed by the Tardis, stunned but reaching up towards the door as he turned to see him now surrounded by masked soldiers and pulled back by what seemed like dozens of hands, shaking his head wildly for him to – not come after him, he thought at the time even if he's second guessing it now. He had pulled out his sonic, aiming frantically when another sedative was plunged into the Master's neck and the entire scene before him disappeared. Teleportation, maybe? Probably.

“Come on!”

Another scan. He can't even bring himself to care that losing his touch within days of close proximity has to be some sort of sign . Suddenly holding on to this regeneration doesn't feel like the reward it is without the Master next to him. A flicker of shame flashes through him at how ungrateful the thought is but he doesn't regret it. As he leans against the wall pulling fistfuls of his hair in frustration, the console suddenly lights up with an array of lights and blaring noises.

“Yes!”

He scrambles over, pulling printouts and dashing between the screens. “A lock, yes! Absolutely brilliant, you are, thank you!”

The Tardis hurdles towards his destination and he finally throws the doors open to see a lone building burning against a desolated backdrop. There's obviously been an explosion inside what seems to be a primitive version of a laboratory that he barely glances at, racing from room to room ignoring scattered bodies in uniform as the Master is nowhere to be found.

“Ran off in that state?

His eyes land on a guard's uniform collapsed in a corner. It's the Master, unrestrained but injured and throwing a critical look over his disheveled hair. “You must miss me. I'm touched.”

“Really? Now? I thought you were dead!”

“Humans never want to keep me away from computers, do they? Their loss.”

The Doctor frowns at the comment but rushes over, stopping short as his adrenaline suddenly drains. He didn't realize just how much the sudden disappearance had terrified him. He's never been so worried, he realizes, about anyone, and abruptly leans down to tuck his face into the Master's neck as he clutches on to him. He almost backs away moments later, embarrassed to realize the Master hasn't moved, but suddenly a hand slowly rises to rest lightly against his back. The other shortly follows to cup his cheek and he gratefully leans into it. They sit for what feels like an eternity until the Master tries and fails to hold back a cough and the Doctor springs back.

“Sorry! I'm – Sorry. We should probably get you back to the Tardis.”

The Master glances at him but doesn't reply as the Doctor takes his weight while they carefully walk down the hallway. The tension from earlier has vanished from the stale air now that the Master is back at his side, apparently the lone survivor, but somehow things still feel... wrong.

His eyes dart around the lab to the aforementioned computers, which seem fairly basic? He takes in more detail as they walk, finally landing on a drop of blood trailing down the Master's face as he smiles hazily back at him. There's nothing advanced enough here to track them. Not even very impressive organization, even. More blood on his teeth that he runs his tongue over and the Doctor tries not to reel back as he shoves any assumptions out of his head, there's no time. They need to leave, now.

“Go on then, what's the rush? I know you've worked it out by now.”

The Doctor closes his eyes. “Let's just go back to the Tardis.”

At that he jerks away, throwing his arm off and struggling to stay upright as his eyes flare. “Oh, because the setting really matters! I'd rather get it over with now, Doctor, let's hear it!”

“... You let them take you,” he whispers. “You let yourself get kidnapped.”

“I prefer ‘orchestrated’ but eh, semantics. I may have gotten word of an especially pathetic attempt at a repeat performance and laid a few crumbs here and there. Look at this dump! Imagine any idiot here thinking they have the right to touch either of us! We're Time Lords!”

“But - that's it!? Why go through all this! We were trying to have a fresh start, you don't think it means anything that we're both here now?”

“There is no fresh start!”

At that the Master looks away, seemingly embarrassed at the outburst. “If someone aims to kill, Doctor, I won't ignore it. You think you can pretend we're back on Gallifrey, wide eyed and starstruck. That might still be in your regeneration but I'm not looking back for anyone, not even you, and I won't play house until you realize what I've been saying all along.”

His leg slips as the Doctor leaps to catch him, struggling to hold on as he pushes back.

“Did you hear a word I said!? Just go. Leave!”

“I heard you.”

He feels the Master freeze and takes advantage of the moment to rest his head against his shoulder as he runs a hand down his back. “I heard you. And all of this was, what? Meant to be proof that I'm looking for an excuse to turn you away? I asked you to come with me!”

“To ease your own conscience!”

It's his turn to look away, then back. “Master. Please, I need you to hear me.”

Furious eyes snap to his only to widen in shock as the Doctor gently taps their foreheads together, quickly moving to nuzzle his cheek as he pulls back to look at him directly.

“I know that you retaliated against a threat. That you always will. I also know that you wouldn't have gone looking for one in the first place if you weren't trying to make a point. Come back to the Tardis with me.”

His words hang in the air as the Master searches his face almost desperately, pulling back suddenly to laugh, the echo of it cutting through the room until he centers himself, leaning in.

“Oh Doctor,” he murmurs. “Those standards of yours certainly have fallen, haven't they?”

#thoschei #doctor who #tenth doctor #simm!master #tensimm #the master #oml i hope this is okay?#i still feel like i have no idea what i'm doing lol #my fic #fanfic #writing prompts

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aenslem · 4 years

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Doctor Who Tag Game

Tagged by: @thirteenstardisfam thank youu and i am so sorry it is so super long lmao i did not mean too, but somehow ended up with it, and also i think i will make fandom hate me for some stuff about 11, but i love him! don’t you dare to think otherwise :’D

im tagging: @tennant @luke-skywalker @panlyra @stupidape @buffyrosenbergs @expelliarmus idk who of you whovians wanna do it out there feel free to say i tagged you and go on ;)

Favourite Doctor: still Ten, i love 12 and 13 almost as much, even if not harder atm, but if it comes to choosing 1 fav doctor then it’s always Ten, so far no one stepped higher for me :’D I loved his era, i loved so many episodes with him, his season arcs, his companions, his relationships with everyone, and this is the only Doctor whose regeneration was smooth for me, he was continuation of Ninth Doctor and it felt like that. I was not like ‘but he is so different in so many ways’ nope, never. Maybe it’s because companions were the same, everyone was still around which was great btw, and I fell in love with the show with Tenth Doctor, dare I say that I stopped watching back then when Matt Smitt became doctor? lmao, must be shock for some but yes, I dropped this show because of THAT lmao??now i laugh at my own self but yeah, i did. where’s everyone, why it feels so different? that was huge nope. Only years later I got back into it, thanks to amazing Michelle Gomez. Actually I was not even going to watch other doctors at that moment, but I watched episodes only with Missy, then i said well it’s not bad I like it and Missy and Twelve were?? OOOF LOVES OF MY LIFE FOR SURE because their relationship were so cool and of course i loved it, so i started a huge rewatch, the first since i dropped the show. Fell in love with Doctor/Master all over again, Ten was as amazing as I remembered, Nine was perfect and I love him too!!! and then... i got to s5... oh god, i was like, let’s give him a chance, what do i lose? but it still felt so weird, and the show was so different, and suddenly everyone else is so important but where are old characters? but i got into it because i have already seen some of 12′s episodes and i got used to the style?? i guess. and then River appeared, not because of her but around episode 5 or 6 i was into it already, not as much as i was before but anyway, maybe weeping angels helped because i loved them and it reminded me of Ten, i felt some kind of a connection to old doctor. I liked River with 10, i thought i will like her with 11 too... but alas, still felt like you know those boys who have never had sex but try to act like they know everything about it and hit on every moving thing and think they do it cool? :D i am sorry if i hurt someone’s feelings with it, but that’s how 11 was for me back then, and while I do understand river/11 it’s the least of all river ships for me, 11 is still the least fav doctor because of those feelings i had back then when i stopped watching, they are not rational i know that now but still feel them, but i love him now, and will protect that kid at all costs! i love ponds, i will kill if anyone says anything bad about Rory Williams! and Amy and Rory? quoting my favorite star trek couple? DUDE WE GO TOGETHER OR NOT AT ALL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! and even if i was not into all river/11 relationship i loved the story, and of course i liked 12, but s8 still feels like what the hell for me, not because of the doctor but because they tried so hard to show clara as bossy, i mean, i liked her with 11 and then suddenly they turn her into some control freak, it was not so MUCH with 11... but i know now why they did it, so Missy’s words have an effect and all. but still, i love clara before and after s8 :’D s9 clara? i will kill for her too. it’s too long but idk :’D and actually, this shows that if you give it a chance even if you don’t like actor/actress at first - you might love the show ;) so stop acting like jodie is miscast honestly, i am ready to fight anyone for saying that :D say whatever you want about plot choices, but do not fucking act like it’s Jodie’s fault! actors are not responsible for show runner choices. She acts amazing with the material she has. anyway, 10 is my fav idiot!

Favourite Master: Missy, always was and always shall be. My favorite character in general in the show, no one tops my girl!

Favourite Sonic: honestly? i don’t really remember any sonic but 12′s glasses :D so... glasses. I mean, i don’t really care how it looks like, it does its job... most of the time lmao, but i liked those glasses and the thing with browser history was my fav :D

Favourite Companion: oh it’s soooo hard!!! either Donna or Bill. I can’t choose. but yeah, those are both with whom there were no ‘romantic’ relationship implied, i love friends more than couples. and I just loved 10 and Donna as a team and Bill and 12, i still wish they had more time. also Martha, the smartest companion lol she was amazing.

Favourite Story: anything involving The Master :D all episodes with them are my favs, but i can’t just pick one story, i still remember the first episode i watched back when it was airing and are you my mummy stuck in my head for the rest of my life giving me brrrr feeling, like it was not scary but somehow made me super uncomfortable? also vashta nerada?? duuuuude, you can’t just look at the shadow the same way. and ten/river together were really great, i mean, he did not know who is she, the mystery, i love shit like that?? yeesss!!!!! there are so many great ones. I don’t want to choose.

Favourite Soundtrack: that unreleased tiny melody when the master dies in the last of the time lords T--T and this is gallifrey and clara’s theme! those are my favs. and I also really like 11′s theme, kinda ready for adventures and doing some weird but funny shit :D

Dream Actor for next Doctor: ooooof OOOOF dude! you know what, usually it is one actor for 3 seasons, that’s how it was for the last 3 doctors, i want Jodie to break that rule and stay with us for 4th season as well, i just want to see how pissed off those haters will be lmao i really really think the entire timeless child thing will not feel the same with someone else yet, and i don’t think they will reveal much in 13th season, that’s HUGE thing, or they should make it so good and the next doctor... aaah i don’t want to feel that change again, like i did with 10 to 11, and felt with the every next doctor, but i overcome that shit and just give them a chance, it’s the doctor after all and im sure loving all of them now. not sure it can disappoint me even if most of plot choices in the season are ... weak. idk who, there are so many great actors but whoever i choose will not be as great as someone they choose, because they always somehow cast amazing people, but i agree with emily it’s time for a doctor of color! tho, they can’t go back to white male actor right now, i just can imagine how it will look like, with all the hate Jodie received and how people still whine about female doctor, it will look like they tried and decided to go back to white male doctors, one half will be happy but the other one will eat them alive! so yeah, i am pretty sure it’s not gonna be white man again yet lol

Dream Composer: idk

Dream Story: well, considering 13 is in jail now, i would love to see someone “we know” rescuing her, because honestly if they just showed me jack and left it like that, i will not accept it!!! but also since yaz will be the only one left with the doctor, since bradley and tosin leave the show, i hope we will have some yaz and doctor relationship development without anyone else, maybe jack could stay because i love him, but jack’s presence did not hurt doctor and rose relationship development back then, so it should not hurt now also. but if they bring someone new, at least don’t make it right away, let yaz and 13 have an adventure at least 1 episode, some talk and stuff. so when yaz leaves also... (and i kind of had that stupid feeling that yaz will die in the end, because somehow everything hints on that for me? idk maybe it’s because i rewatched and giffed orphan 55 today and vilma (?) telling yaz to run and stay alive kinda felt like something that hints on yaz’s future... and yaz is always going somewhere without thinking, to random alien ship, to save the doctor, she steps into trouble like a doctor hoping everything will somehow be ok, but im not even sure she hopes, it’s more like i am as good as her so i can do it, not in clara’s way when everything hinted she is like the doctor, because let’s be honest she was and even got her own tardis, but she thinks she is, but she is not, i think some day that might end bad for her... so when she also leaves i don’t want it be like well yeah, what’s next? i mean, i still miss Bill, that was like NOOOOOO with tears and screams for me, i loved Bill! and we had 2 seasons with yaz and i still don’t feel the same connection to any of the current companions atm, so i would like the show to make me love them more, i do love them, just not as much as those i still miss, but im sure defending any of them lmao i love them anyway. you know what i mean...

A Companion You’d like to see back: oh OH. we cant bring them back for entire season right? but doctor can meet Donna at some point, which will have no point lmao cos she doesn’t remember and it will only hurt doctor and i don’t see how her appearance will help any plot, it will be just fanservice cameo. But Bill is out there with Heather, they are powerful creatures now, i think it could somehow fit into the story, I want Bill back. But also, Clara is still one heartbeat away from death, she can be out there, and she has tardis. tiny cameos will be fine for me :D and Martha, but also Madam Vastra and Jenny, Kate and Osgood, where they are??? bring them back and it can make sense, their appearances. I mean, imagine someone from UNIT in s11, not unit itself but osgood??? it would feel so much different.

An Enemy/Alien/Creature you’d like to see again: weeping angels!!!! OOOF they were creepy, and i love them, like, DON’T BLINK!!! how can you not blink for so long? that is cool, i want them back. and also the most beautiful shots are always with angels so... :’D

If you could travel with one of the Doctors, which Doctor and why?: oooh, while 10 is my fav, and I totally would hit on 13 :D i will choose 12, 12 from season 10, because he was such a grandpa, no lovey dovey stuff, he would lecture me on thing i do, give me new info about something, we would explore shit together and he would be like a grandpa i never had. We would definitely have long discussions about stuff and have good laugh together and i would make references to movies and then we would watch those movies :D i would act like Bill lmao yess i want to travel with 12!!!

#text #doctor who #tag game #ooh for dream story i want doctors together #how could i forgot i always want doctors together :D

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austerlitzborodinoleipzig · 4 years

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The Timeless Children review.

There’s a lot to say about the Timeless Children, but setting aside discussion about what that new lore dump means for the show, and trying to keep things about this episode...

A bad episode with okay lore, and some noted improvements on Chibnall’s part.

I’m okay with retcons. It’s Doctor Who. Nothing is sacred. (I mean, except the core values of the main character. Having the Doctor selling the Master to the Nazis as a POC is so much worse). Things will get retconned/modified. Are certain retcons bullshit? Yes, but that’s another matter. Fundamentaly I don’t think Who canon, if there’s even such thing, should be kept safe. Like it or not, the showrunner is in charge. There’s no such thing as respect for the fans, or for the previous eras.

And like I’m the first to complain but really if Chibshow wants to stick the middle finger at Moffat show, that’s his godamm right. The showrunner has full ownership of the show, otherwise it would hamper the creative process. We can discuss why the changes made are bad, but saying “How dare Chibnall retcon the deep lore” is idiotic.

So kudos to Chibnall for daring. I mean The Timeless Children left a bad aftertaste in my mouth, but hey it was engaging. I wanted to know more, which compared to Series 11 is a vast improvement.

So yes lore was okay.

Did I like the reveal/retcon ? Not really.

Is it possible to make something interesting out of that? I’ve seen some good takes about it, so yeah. On the downside this is Chibnall we’re talking about, so trust him to pick the least interesting idea.

Will I come to terms with it? I did not like the idea of the War Doctor, or the fact that Doctor saved Gallifrey at first. I’ve come round since, and even like it now. I expect I’ll have digested all of it in the coming months, and I’ll be able to make it fit with my own headcanons/continuity/personal conception of Doctor Who...

Does it really change anything? The Timeless Child, not so much. All the pre-Hartnell Doctors and the fact that the Doctor worked for the CIA (or the Division, whatever the fuck the difference is), yes, a lot, and I like it even less.

Are there ways to go around it? Yes there are. And also the scope of Doctor Who is so big, you can comfortably ignore it.

The episode was bad.

Bad because the lore was infodumped in the most boring and unimaginative way, with the Master just doing exposition for 60% of the runtime. Also the Matrix looks boring. Fucking grey background.

Ashad is perhaps the Chibnall villain with the most potential. I’m still thinking voluntarily converted Cyberman is a great idea that deserved a lot more of exploring. There’s really some fascinating implications... And all of that got flushed down the toilet, because Ashad got unceremoniously killed by the Master.

Also, hello big MacGuffin death particle. Chibnall, would it kill you to make the effort to introduce the great big “plot-resolve” button in the previous episode?What a convenient reveal with no groundwork, that feels telegraphed from a mile.

Worst of it is probably the moment where the Doctor awakes, ensues some excruciating moments, where the Doctor tries to figure out the Master’s plan, while we, the audience have already been informed, by means of exposition. And then we get more exposition for the death particle we already got 20 minutes ago, with bad dialogue to boot. “There’s a myth...” Oh ffs! Why use myth? Nothing in that dialogue is mythic, Chibnall is not lyrical enough for it. That’s imitation of mythic.

Also unclear on the specifics of how the death particle works. Per the Master and Ashad, it erases all the life in the Galaxy. And then during exposition n°2, provided by Ravio, we hear it only erases life on one planet, which is what the Doctor tries to do at the end.

But “all organic life”... By all account had Ashad activated it, it would have killed the Cybermen as well, or at least him. They’re not pure robots and we can clearly see with Ashad that there’s organic living bits underneath. So all that big ascension will be without Ashad. Of course you could make the case that the Ascension is really the Cyberium’s aim and that it does not care the slightest about Ashad.

Also we shall have dominion... Over what, if you killed everyone? Again, poorly thought out motivations for Ashad. Mostly it sounds cool, but it’s empty when you take a closer look at it.

And speaking of the Cyber Time Lords. Well, we’re told they were made with the corpses of dead Time Lords the Master kept. If they’re dead, we’re assuming it’s permanent death, otherwise they would have regenerated... So where the hell does the regeneration ability comes from? And if they are corpses in Cybersuits, how come they would be affected by the death particle, as they are definitely not living?

I mean it’s Doctor Who so I’m willing to overlook this details if there’s a good story told behind it. Like, the Daleks’ plot in The Dalek Invasion of Earth is fucking stupid. Let’s mine the Earth’s core, to replace it with a motor and then drive Earth around in space, like a big spaceship. But then that’s a small detail in an episode whose purpose is elsewhere : presenting a dystopian vision of England, a post apocalyptic, facist world. It’s about the pure dread for the spectator of seing his world overrun by space Nazis. It’s the first episode of the show’s history with an alien invasion. It’s also about Susan. And there’s also quite a chunk devoted to mostly Barbara, but also Ian for a bit: how they react to that world that seems familiar and at the same time, completely alien.

Here there’s no story behind it. It’s basically a dressing for the big lore reveal.

It’s a bad Cyberman story. Nothing about the Cyberzealot is really explored in a meaningful way. He’s supposedly conflicted... Yeah because we’re told so by the Doctor in Ascension. Show not tell, yadda, yadda, yadda... So Cybermen are nothing more than your generic evil robots... And even the Master sees how stupid that is and takes the piss (rightly so).

Supporting cast is there for nothing more than exposition, or action sequences that do nothing more than distracting us from the lore reveal, because that’s the only thing really going on in that ep.

And yet again we have a final that does a piss poor job with the companions. Second in a row. To be fair, Battle of Raging Avatar tried to give some closure to Ryan and Graham... It just did it so badly it does not even register as a try.

This time Yaz is the better served with three(!) character bits. Tis only fair after Series 11. But still feels underbaked. I mean I think it will all depend on whether she leaves with the Christmas Special. She still has been massively underserved by the show. The last episodes, starting with Praxeus she did get some good content, but that‘s a bit late and still not enough, when you compare it with the other New Who companions. And well one of Yaz’s traits is her need for validation from the Doctor... and here she gets it from Graham??? In itself it’s a really fine moment. but underwhelming if that is to be the conclusion of her arc.

And again, there’s only minimal progression in terms of development for the fam. Yaz has perhaps the most significant one, going from Doctor is the best person -> I’m the best person.

Graham has mostly been stucked with comic relief this series, and goes from. Decent bloke that married Grace to ... You’re okay??

Ryan... I feel this season really did not know what to do with him. He doesn’t have anything to do in the final, just fire at a bunch of Cybermen. That bit with the bomb is one of the most half-assed excuses for an arc I’ve seen. So Ryan beats dyspraxia, said dyspraxia being only mentioned when it’s convenient, or when we need to establish the character, because he really believes in himself and focuses??? And yet I had so much hope after Woman Who Fell To Earth and that really good bike scene.

Also the relationship between the Doctor and her fam is again unresolved... My fam, I need them... That feels unearned after a whole season of agressively pushing the Doctor and the companions apart, and with the Doctor becoming more and more distant, and sometimes an asshole. I was waiting for the show to adress that... And it peters out. The episode fails on an emotional level.

The big climax... Sigh... Is yet another riff from RTD, this time from that super good scene from Parting of the Ways... Except less well done, because we’ve seen all that before, what else is new? Also the resolution of that in Series 1 was a moment of grace and love, and just beautiful, and felt satisfying, and paid off the Doctor’s arc... Here we have wannabe-Obi-Wan/Luke-from-the-sequel conveniently sacrifying himself. Again, the less well done remix of the RTD years. And that final cliffhanger would have been charming had we not been coming from a season that consistently mined the RTD-nostalgia.

That bit with Ruth was lovely, and gives me some hope for the way the lore is going to be treated but... Doctor!Ruth is magnificent and yet again upstages Thirteen a bit. And I think it’s a bit of a problem when your incumbent Doctor gets upstaged by other incarnations...

Another problem here is that the Doctor remains totally passive, ineffective, and with limited agency throughout the episode, which was... eh. Doesn’t make for a good story.

Still some things were good

The Master was definitely the best thing about this episode. Maybe unpopular opinion but Chibnall nailed the Master. So many good moments

the whole kicking himself for not thinking of a good one liner before zapping the Ashad

his whole motivation: I’ve seen some really good posts going round, but of course everything is totally in character for the Master. Jealousy at being upstaged by the Doctor, again. Hint of race supremacy. Cannot bear the fact that his not from the Master race, because all his claims to superiority have gone up in smoke. He’s not a renegade prince anymore. He’s a renegade fake.

That really good bit where he’s sad his gamble paid off, and he did not died when killing Ashad. This is a suicidal Master, a bit like Simm, but Simm had the rage to live, while Dhawan!Master... Just wants to sow destruction, doesn’t matter if it’s his own. Mostly really broken, with an identity crisis no less than the Doctor’s and going on a destructive rampage instead.

The carped is red because it’s drenched in the blood of the Time Lords. That line and its delivery is one of the highlights of the episode. It’s so perfectly ridiculous and bad on purpose and over the top.

Also Dhawan has a really great voice and I could here him speak forever. Does he narrate books?

Interesting how even if he’s Thirteen’s Master, the Dhawan Master just screams Eleven. The clothes. The mannerism, the lines and the delivery... I could see Smith in his performance.

Another good bit is Ko Sharmus... Finally someone to articulate why the whole take “guns=bad” that was going on these two series was bad. Because yeah sometimes people try to kill you so you have to fight back.

I was afraid that Ko Sharmus would be undermined... And he’s the hero of the episode. And I’m really glad that Thirteen failure to fire the bomb was depicted for what it was... A failure. Because then Ko Sharmus gets his hero moment and saves the day, by firing it.

Criticism of the Doctor’s position for what it is: self righteousness and hypocrisy?? In my Chibshow??? That’s more likely than you think.

And finally the Cyber Time Lords were ridiculous and I loved everything about the design.

So really, my problem is not the lore. My problem is that Chibnall is going balls to the wall, firing from all cylinders, doing big lore... And still fails to tell an engaging story.

#doctor who #the timeless children #thirteenth doctor #yazmin khan #graham o'brien #ryan sinclair #dw meta

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rumata-est · 5 years

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Impossible Girl

Part one

Well, to summarize: when the Doctor met Clara Oswald, she was about 24, she was curious, brave, eager for adventures, very smart and fast. In "Deep Breath" she is 27, so she spent about 3 years with the Doctor and learnt a lot. She is very forthright but she also understands people's feelings very well that's why she knows when to stop and when to make the Doctor stop. She cares.

However, we rarely see Clara being really kind to somebody in particular. Is she kind? She obviously knows it’s necessary to be kind and sympathetic (never mind to whose advantage), and this knowledge defines most of her actions. It sounds very Machiavellian though pretty realistic, and such character type fits adventures and life in general very well.

What happens when the Doctor changes?

The thing is throughout the series 8 the Doctor is in the middle of his own “am I a good man” crisis, he shows off deliberately, he wants Clara’s attention, he parks the TARDIS in her flat, and they are actual roommates. From now on every day it's a roller coaster and a personal matter cause his argument to pull her into adventures is "I need you no matter how I treat you and other people" at any time. That’s annoying. But she says "fine". The Doctor is not the only one who changed: the veil lifted, she is not a young woman anymore, she has to accept bad choices exist, and sometimes (most of the time since you’re a Doctor) it’s you who make them, and it’s not an easy burden.

Why does Clara want Danny Pink? Firstly, she hates to mess things up and she did so with Danny at first sight. She was trying to be funny but instead she said something unacceptable, and she needs to fix it immediately. Secondly, she is a carer, and Danny needs somebody to deal with his trauma. Thirdly, she’s eager to make her existence well balanced: job, domestic life, traveling, adventures. Her life’d better be amazing.

“Listen” is an extremely important episode cause Clara basically plays the Doctor’s part, and not the one shining with joy and glory. The way Clara treats Danny during their date is at least weird, but honestly, she is horrible to him. She brings the killing subject again though she doesn’t know the details and they both know it hurts him. She doesn’t apologize, makes an exit, and he doesn’t deserve it. When she got distracted, Clara and the Doctor end up in Danny’s childhood, and soon the Doctor gives a little boy a dream which will have a tremendous impact on his whole life. They don’t even know whether the monster under the bed is real. And it’s Clara’s fault. She feels guilty, and she cares so she tries to fix her ruined date (breaking the time travel rules), and she doesn’t succeed cause she is actually always “in a rush, in a state, and in space helmet”. Danny will spell it out quite neatly later: she is so busy saving the universe she can hardly see people right in front of her. Then she gets distracted again...

It's a perfect description of one of the Doctor's bad days in a nutshell: interfere, act weird, be charming, don't respect people's opinions, get distracted, mess things up, try to fix them, mess them up again...

...then have an insight, actually fix things, be charming, everyone's in awe, run away.

When Clara sees her friend and her hero as a crying little boy, she has to be a Doctor even for the Doctor, she tries to fix him. And then she wants her 2000 year old Doctor to feel that she really cares in every way. When he refuses (to hug her or whatever else), guess where she goes... underneath the strong facade she is vulnerable too. Both the Doctor and Clara are very good at hiding feelings and messing things up with people, but when you supress something it only becomes stronger. The Doctor never explains what is going on in his hearts, Danny will never know how scared, or vulnerable, or happy Clara really is.

The great discovery is nobody’s perfect and everybody’s vulnerable. And even worse: the Doctor is vulnerable too. “Silly old universe, the more I save it, the more it needs saving”. True. Also, the truth is sometimes the universe works just fine until you interfere and screw up.

So, Clara and the audience face the problem: to care about people you need to be kind, to care about the universe you need to be practical. It wasn’t so obvious before, but with Twelve it is. The thing is you’re a good man only if you manage to do both. Clara has to develop the concept of kindness. It’s not enough to be kind naturally, it has to be your moral choice. You have to explain how exactly you’re going to be kind to not mess things up. Unfortunately, this explanation usually includes tons of lying.

Rule One: the Doctor lies. Why? Vital survival skill, mainly for everybody around the Doctor. Clara lies too. Why? The same reason. For example, what can she possibly answer to Danny's question about the Doctor? Erm, lets see: the man who usually saves people and worlds saved my life once cause he was looking for me cause he had met kinda me twice and that kinda me had saved his life and died cause it turned out later I sacrificed myself for him and was divided into million echoes each of which was born to save him. But he saved me again, and then I helped him save his own planet which was very good cause he had been immensely traumatized by thinking he had destroyed it for the rest of the universe had survived. So, we travelled together, and saved the universe, and saw wonders, and then he changed, and now I have to get the bloody permission to hug him when he's upset.

What the ........

It's too complicated to be explained. So Clara goes with the easiest part: he's an alien, and she sees wonders.

Saving the world isn't that easy cause there's never just black and white, you can't jump high enough, or call the Army, or name somebody "an officer". Basically, be kind. But it's quite difficult to apply these beautiful simple words to real life. Why?

We can see it in “Kill the Moon”. We usually concentrate on things like Clara’s “clear off“ manifesto or the Doctor’s “ that was me respecting you”. But what about humanity? Why did everybody turn the lights off? Of course, that's an exagerration, of course, there would be some light on Earth. But the dark planet is a metaphor: even in the darkest of times, remember to turn on the light. Even if you’re alone never fail to be kind. And it’s a damn difficult job when all you want to turn your back on all these predictable silly little humans.

“I nearly got it wrong. I nearly didn't press that button”, Clara blurts. Ring any bells? Of course, it’s Gallifrey and the barn all over again. When there were three Doctors it was easy for Clara: she just had to tilt her head, cry a little bit and remind the Doctor to be a Doctor. But it’s not so easy when you’re in charge and your home's at stake.

A little reminder: Clara is still about 27-28, has a regular job and a lot of cool outfits, tries to be a girlfriend and has to deal with very difficult philosophical problems and the Doctor who is a tidal wave and a walking philosophical problem himself. Don’t forget Clara is a control freak so avoiding any problems is not an option. Of course, it's too much for her.

“Mummy on the Orient Express” is all about who is in control. At first the Doctor and Clara talk about two different subjects: Clara wants to talk about her feelings and the Doctor wants to talk about his planets. Actually, each of them wants to persuade the other, it’s not just about feelings and planets. But they really have to talk about what is happening. The next scene in the corridor is a little bit better cause they are trying to talk (without bringing the real subject, of course). And the real subject is: I don’t want you to go but since I am a control freak I will stick to my “last hurrah” line. It’s more like juggling questions than a proper conversation. Clara is freaking out for fear of losing him. For fear of getting it all wrong.

Clara hasn’t looked at the mechanism of being a Doctor like that before. We always assume the Doctor is so clever, he can push his luck and fix everything, even when it's absolutely impossible. But what if sometimes he really really can’t? What if sometimes people die on his watch, real people, no matter how hard he tries? And even worse: what if sometimes he really has grey areas? And you happen to be smart enough to notice all this?

So, he isn’t a Deus ex Machina anymore, he is pretty real. All of this is revealed in their brilliant conversation on the beach. And then Clara asks the Doctor the same question Danny asked her: why are you doing this?

What can he possibly answer? It's his life and his hobby. It's the right thing to do and an addicition as well. And it's so beautiful Clara can't help but say "I love you" stay.

I personally adore the way the Doctor answers Clara's question "Have you ever been sure?". He says "no", and there's a visible trembling happiness in his voice cause she really understands and accepts this part of his life now.

A big change of heart happened. But it's a story for another day.

#doctor who #whouffaldi #moffat era #twelve x clara #clara oswald #12th doctor #jenna coleman #peter capaldi #otp: i am not your boyfriend #impossible girl #trust me i know #dw meta

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twoheartsandascrewdriver · 7 years

Photo

Brèves de TARDIS - "Better with two"

Number of parts: 2/2.

Pairings: Twelve/Rose.

Synopsis: It was his choice to make and that wasn't an easy one...

The Doctor remained silent as the guy stole some of the chips left. The anger was burning in the pit of his stomach and he tried his best not to attack the man in from of him. He was just an envoy. He never did the things by himself. He just delivered the message of the disaster or the good thing to come and disappeared as if nothing had happened. That guy wasn’t a Time Lord but he was related to them, somehow. The envoys came from a planet near Gallifrey and were all assigned to a Time Lord to deliver messages from everyone about everything. That one was the Doctor’s one. The Doctor had only seen him a few times before. The guy had well-chosen his name. He only told him about disasters. He never had good news for him. What was he gonna say now? That wouldn’t please him. That was a certitude. He told him about Gallifrey but the Doctor had never believed him until it happened.

“Psycho. Long time no see.”

“Did you miss me?”

“Not at all.”

The Doctor’s voice was really calm but inside down, he was boiling with rage. He looked down at Rose who was sleeping on his shoulder. The silence hit him once again. It was unreal.

“Oh, Doctor. We don’t see each other that much.”

“It’s already too much.”

“You’ve always been so rude!”

“What have you done to her?” he asked, showing Rose.

“Nothing. I have no control on the Bad Wolf. She came here on her own.”

“She’s not…”

“She’s here as the Bad Wolf, not as Rose Tyler. I can feel it.”

The Doctor looked at her again and swallowed. He hadn’t sensed it. For him, she was just Rose Tyler. She had done everything to make him believe she was her. The Bad Wolf had been a part of Rose a long time ago. Maybe she had just taken her appearance to get close to him. He could hardly believe it after all that had happened those last few hours. If the Bad Wolf was really there, that couldn’t be a good sign. Psycho being there too was definitively not a good sign. What was happening? A major crisis must have happened but he didn’t know about it and the TARDIS hadn’t told him anything. He hated not knowing. He hated the feeling that was appearing in his stomach. A feeling of fear. Something big was coming up and he hadn’t seen it coming. Something was wrong with him. How come he couldn’t sense the Bad Wolf, but the envoy could? Why his TARDIS suddenly felt unreachable in his mind?

“The last time I saw you, you told me I would burn Gallifrey.”

“You didn’t believe me.”

“How could I?”

“But you did it.”

“And I hated you.”

“You’ve hated yourself more.”

“Why are you here? And don’t bother lying to me. The Bad Wolf and you, must be something really bad.”

The envoy didn’t answer him. He drew the plate full of chips to him and began eating it. How could he say the thing as clearly as possible? Actually, he didn’t care about how to tell the thing. He just had to make the Doctor understand what was really going on. And that wasn’t going to please him. Every time he had met the Doctor, Psycho had been surprised by his incredible cleverness but also by the way his behaviour was changing. Though the man was still the same, his character always changed. It never got better. The Doctor always got bitter. Living a very long life sometimes wasn’t the best thing to do. Things and people always ended up reaching you in the best or in the worst way. And when you lived forever, you never truly forgot everything that had happened to you, every people you’ve lost. No wonder why Time Lords were such awful persons to talk to.

“You don’t remember anything of what had happened, heh?”

The Doctor was more and more confused. He really didn’t know what Psycho was talking about. Something had happened. He had guessed it by now. But what had exactly happened? He was trying to remember but, strangely, nothing came to his mind. All his past adventures, all the people he had known in his very long life were still in his mind, he knew it but he couldn’t access it. It was all blurry, unreachable just like his TARDIS was. It was weird and very scary. And the Doctor had to admit he was afraid. Something that didn’t happen much often.

“What am I supposed to remember?” he asked, not showing his fear.

“Your mind is really an interesting piece. Your memory is selective, Doctor. It’s trying to avoid a very bad thing.”

“What if you told me instead of playing around?”

“I would rather have you remembering it by yourself.”

Oh how irritating the guy was! If he wasn’t such preoccupied by the reason of his presence, he would have smashed Psycho’s head on the table. There was nothing worse than someone playing around with something he was dying to say anyway. And the Doctor, though his Time Lord condition, wasn’t someone really patient.

“You obviously know something I don’t. Tell me. I won’t wait any longer.”

“Someone gave me a message for you, a strange message I have to admit. And I usually don’t get my message from people…”

“Get straight to the point or I smash your head in that plate.”

“Easy, Time Boy!” said Psycho, raising his hands to calm him down. “The message was: 'You don’t be a warrior. Promise me. Be a Doctor.' Does this ring a bell?”

The words hit something inside him. A voice. The same words with that voice. But he couldn’t remember whose voice it was, he couldn’t remember who told him those words. They were obviously addressed to him. He was the only Doctor, the Doctor, in all the universes. Someone asked him not to be a warrior. That someone probably died for him and asked him not to take revenge for what had happened.

“I can remember the voice.”

“That’s a good start. It means your memories are still here somewhere. You just have to wake them up”

“It’s never a good thing to wake some memories up. If I forgot them, there was a reason. Probably a good one.”

“Not my business. I’m here to force you to get those memories back so you can understand the reason of my presence here.”

“As you know the whole story, it’ll be easier if you said it all to me.”

He knew he couldn’t do that. The envoy could just give the message and be sure that it was well understood but he could not interfere in the process of that understanding. The Time Lords had to do it on their own.

“You remember every single of your companions, Doctor. Why is it so hard to remember which one had asked you to be a Doctor and not a warrior?”

This could only be one of his most recent companions. He remembered a short brown girl. His eleventh self kept calling her “impossible girl”. What was her name already? He could see her face, her smile. He could see them travelling together but the name didn’t come. He frowned. He had never forgotten the name of any of his companions. Why was it so difficult suddenly?

“Maybe because she’s linked to a story I don’t wanna remember?”

“You never forgot Rose Tyler. She was your soulmate and you’ve lost her. You still remember your best friend Donna Noble, though it destroyed you to erase her memory. Amy and Rory are still in there,” he pointed a finger to the Doctor’s head, “and they both died. Why is it so hard to remember Clara Oswald who also gave her life for you?”

Clara Oswald. The name definitively rang a bell. Clara Oswald, the impossible girl born to save him all those centuries ago. Clara Oswald, the girl that wasn’t supposed to be able to die but who died anyway. Clara Oswald who asked him to let her be brave. She sacrificed herself for him, to get rid of the raven that was threatening everyone. How could he even forget her name? She should never be forgotten, just like all the other people he had lost. They all deserved a better life than the one he had given them. He had taken them away from their friends and family and had led them all to a very unpleasant end. Except for Martha Jones who got to live a life he was proud of.

- Flashback -

“Listen, if this is the last I ever see of you, please, not like this.” said Clara to the Doctor. “Is there anything you can do?” she then asked to Ashildr.

“I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry, I…”

“Time’s short. Yes or no?”

“No.”

The Doctor breathed heavily. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Clara, his Clara, was about to give her life to save his. They were both aware of the danger but they had committed a mistake and that mistake was about to cost Clara’s life. It was hard to swallow. He just couldn’t let her do that.

“Well, if Danny Pink can do it, I can do it too.”

“Do what?” asked the Doctor, afraid of her answer.

“Die right. Die like I mean it. Face the Raven.”

“No. This, this isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.”

“Maybe this is what I wanted. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is why I kept running. Maybe this is why I kept taking all those stupid risks. Keep pushing it.”

“This is my fault.”

“This is my choice.”

“I let you get reckless.”

He had always been a reckless guy, full of energy, ready to take all the risks needed to save the whole universe and all his companions had tried to be like him. Every single of them. And he had lost them all. Now, he was about to lose Clara and he just couldn’t accept it.

“Why? Why shouldn’t I be so reckless? You’re reckless all the bloody time. Why can’t I be like you?”

She was angry at him and he perfectly understood why. It was all his fault. He made that to her. He led her to her end.

“Clara, there’s nothing special about me. I am nothing but I’m less breakable than you. I should have taken care of you.”

“I never asked you to.”

“You shouldn’t have to ask.”

The raven cawed as it flew around along the winding street and the people scattered terrified. The time was almost done. If they didn’t do anything, the damages would be terrible.

“Clara, if I’d known, I’d…” said Rigsy.

“Don’t. Shut up.”

“But…”

“Really, Rigsy, shut up. If you feel guilty about this, even for one minute, I…” They heard the Raven. She turned to the Doctor. “You. Now, listen to me. You’re going to be alone now, and you’re very bad at that. You’re going to be furious and you’re going to be sad, but listen to me. Don’t let this change you. No, listen. Whatever happens next, wherever she is sending you, I know what you’re capable of. You don’t be warrior. Promise me. Be a Doctor.”

“What the point of being a Doctor if I can’t cure you?”

“Heal yourself. You have to. You can’t let this turn you into a monster. So, I’m not asking you for a promise, I’m giving you an order. You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no one else, here and anywhere, will suffer.”

“What about me?”

“If there was something I could do about that, I would. I guess we’re both just going to have to be brave.”

“Clara.”

She hugged him. He had never been a hugging person. Clara was the only one who could hug him. But he didn’t like that hug. That was a goodbye hug and it hurt more than any other hug they had ever had. He hugged her back, holding the tears back.

“Everything you are about to say, I already know. Don’t do it now. We’ve already had enough bad timing.”

The Raven cawed close by. The death was slowly getting close to them. There was no time to waste anymore. She had to go face her death.

“Don’t run. Stay with me,” he begged her.

“Nah. You stay here. In the end, everybody does this alone.”

“Clara.”

“This is as brave as I know how to be. I know it’s going to hurt you, but, please, be a little proud of me.”

She touched his cheek to try to comfort him. He took her hand and slowly kissed it. This would be the last time they would see each other and he realised how hard it’d be. Those were her final words.

“Goodbye, Doctor,” she whispered softly.

Clara stepped out into the deserted street. The Raven landed on a nearby stall and cawed. She walked towards it as other passers-by ran away. The Doctor stepped out of the doorway.

“Let me be brave. Let me be brave,” she kept repeating to herself, hoping the Doctor would do as she had told him.

The Raven launched itself from its perch. Clara opened her arms wide and it flew into her stomach. She opened her mouth wide in a silent scream of agony. The Doctor didn’t move. He let her do but the pain was tearing him apart. Clara relaxed and the Quantum Shade smoke came out of her mouth as the fell to the ground.

- End -

The memory left him totally astonished. He remembered now. He remembered Clara’s sacrifice for him. He remembered her last words but the rest of the memory was all blurred. Did he obey? Or did he look for revenge? He had saved Ashildr and she had betrayed him. It was partly her fault if Clara died that day. How could he have forgotten such a thing?

“I remember. I remember her. I remember her words.”

“Good.”

“What now?”

“Do you remember what had happened after she died?”

“No. I just remembered her falling to the ground.”

“I guess, you can’t quite remember that part. The feelings of rage and grief were tearing you apart.”

“What did I do?”

“What do you think you did?”

“I obeyed. That seemed the right thing to do.”

“In an alternative timeline, you did. You were supposed to follow that timeline but you didn’t.”

“You’re not supposed to see the different timelines. Only Time Lords can do that.”

“I can’t. This is a part of the message. I have been told what was supposed to happen and what you’ve actually done.”

“And I’ve not done the right thing.”

“Depends on what you think is the right thing.”

“For you, the right thing to do is always the most horrible one.”

“The bad news are always more fun than the good ones. I once gave good news but I got bored. I asked to be transferred to the bad news. And I got assigned to you.”

“What an honour!” said the Doctor ironically.

Psycho finished the chips and pushed the plate away. He slowly dried his hands and threw the paper towel in the empty plate. The Doctor was staring at him, waiting not so patiently for him.

“Well, still no memories of what you’ve done?”

“I was waiting for you to tell me.”

“Aren’t you a bit lazy?”

“No. Just pissed off.”

“As usual.”

“I’m going to strangle you.”

“Not something the Doctor would do.”

“Said the guy who told me I would commit a genocide.”

“Extenuated circumstances?”

“Get to the real point of all of this, Psycho.”

“Run you clever boy and remember me.”

“Stop quoting her!”

“Start remembering, Doctor.”

The Doctor was boiling with rage. That guy was truly pissing him off. He was gonna hit him if he kept playing with his nerves. Next to him, Rose – or was it really the Bad Wolf? – started to move and slowly woke up. She gave a dirty look to Psycho. She didn’t like him either.

“You missed the entire fun Bad Wolf girl.”

“I told you not to come.”

“You were supposed to give the message instead of cuddling lovingly and everything.”

The Bad Wolf girl blushed a little. There was still some Rose in there. The Bad Wolf was pretty indifferent to any kind of emotions. The idea of Rose rushing to him while he was about to learn something terrible made his hearts beat a little bit faster. She had fought all those years to come back to him. Somehow she did manage to get to him but not in the form of the girl he used to love more than life itself. Now, he could really see the Bad Wolf. It was there, using Rose’s body like it had always done.

“That doesn’t really matter at this point.”

“It does.”

“He needed to trust me.”

“He always has.”

“Needed to be sure.”

“Are the both of you explaining me what’s happening or are you just gonna fight over your freaking ways of working?” said the Doctor bitterly.

He couldn’t quite believe the Bad Wolf and the envoy had seen each other to choose who would tell him what was supposed to happen. He had no clue at all and their little fight wasn’t helping his anger.

“I can’t definitively take it as a good sign.”

“It’s not, my Doctor.”

“So, what am I supposed to have done after losing Clara?”

The Bad Wolf bit her lip a few seconds. How could she say something as harsh as the thing she had to tell him? It wasn’t an easy one but they had to. That was their mission. He had a choice to make and he wouldn’t be able to if they didn’t tell him what was going on.

“It’s better if I show you,” she simply said.

She slowly stroked her face with a sad look. Then, she pressed her fingers on his temple and closed her eyes. He was surprised to see that she could reach his mind so easily but couldn’t say anything because memories flowed in his mind.

- Flashback -

His hearts broke as she fell to the ground. He was supposed to close the door, to let her die alone just like she asked and not to hurt Ashildr. But he was hurt. He was deeply hurt and totally mad. He couldn’t tell whose fault it was. Was it his because he did a mistake that caused the dilemma? Was it Ashildr’s who tricked them? Was it just the fate telling him he was meant to lose everyone and everything?

“I’m sorry, Doctor. I truly am,” tried to apologize Ashildr.

“What Clara said about not taking revenge. Do you know why she said that?” he replied.

He was mad at her and she could easily feel it. The Doctor’s anger was not to take lightly. That was something people who knew him had learnt over the past centuries.

“She was saving you.”

That seemed pretty legit to think. The Doctor had never been a warrior. He was a pacifist. He had done wrong choices, wrong things but it was always for saving people. If he decided to take any revenge now, his personality would be highly corrupted. He was a saviour, a Doctor. He wasn’t a warrior and couldn’t go on that path. Not now that he was so close of coming back to his home planet.

‘She was saving you.”

Clara knew how he would react to her death. She knew he would blame Ashildr and hurt her and she gave him the order not to touch the girl. She knew what he would have done to her and she gave him the order not to do anything. At least, against her.

“I was lost a long time ago. She was saving you. I’ll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You’ll find that it’s a very small universe when I’m angry with you.”

Ashildr nodded, afraid and shocked. The teleport bracelet the Doctor was wearing beeped and he was gently beamed in purple and white light while Ashildr turned her back. The bracelet dropped to the floor. The Doctor had disappeared.

He found himself back in the TARDIS. When he got out of it, he realised his blue box had been painted with flowers and a portrait of Clara. It was absolutely beautiful and reminded him of how much hurt and mad he was. He obeyed by not doing any harm to Ashildr but she didn’t say anything about the others. That would not be revenge, just a way to deal with his pain. So he threw himself in all the shady streets he met. He threw himself in troubles. He picked fights with a lot of bad people and every time he was punched, kicked, thrown to the ground, the physical pain made him forget about his real pain. People didn’t understand where he was coming from and why he was so much angry. They just knew he was attacking them and that they had to protect themselves from him. By the end of the night, he found himself laying down on the ground, in a lame state.

He was pretty sure all those fights had broken him a few bones and created a few other problems in his body but he just didn’t care and enjoyed the pain, the blood and the violence of it all. Someone kicked him in the ribs and he just laughed. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing except that pain in his whole body.

“You must be high to enjoy such a pain and still laugh at me grandpa.”

“You must be stupid for hitting a poor guy who can’t get up anymore.”

He was provoking the guy. He wanted to make him as mad as he was. He wanted him to end his pain even if he knew nothing would actually end it. He had lost too many people. Clara was the last of them and he couldn’t handle it anymore. The guy hit him a few more times for him to stop laughing and then, ran away when he heard footsteps. The Doctor heard them as well and suddenly someone was knelt next to him. That could have been anyone but the big brown eyes got him really surprised.

“What have you done, my Doctor?”

That was her only question before he lost his grip on the reality and fell into a black hole…

- End -

Rose took her hands off of his face and watched him as the memories got back into his mind. Psycho looked annoyed. He was tapping on the table with his fingers, waiting for the conclusion of all of that. The Doctor looked at Rose.

“You came to pick me up before someone else found me.”

“This would have been a very wrong thing.”

“Where am I now?”

“I brought you back to the TARDIS. We’re both in there. She’s protecting us.”

“And you took my mind exactly where you wanted to.”

“I needed you to remember me, to trust me before you got to this point.”

“But who are you for real?”

The situation was really pissing him off. Yes, he had done a bad move. Yes, he was paying the price of his acts. But why in the world did his envoy and the Bad Wolf came here? Why did they use such a staging to force him to remember, to tell him all of that?

“All I said to you in the TARDIS was true. I’m Rose. I’m your Rose Tyler, the only one you’ve ever known.”

“And the Bad Wolf?”

“She didn’t really leave my body all those years ago. A part of her stayed in me and no one knew it.”

“How did you find it?”

“The first time, I couldn’t quite believe it. I had just lost my human Doctor and it was hard to deal with. I got killed by a car because I was too drunk to be careful.”

The revelation left him surprised. She was telling him what had happened with a detached tone. There were no emotions as if she was talking about something that didn’t matter. In her eyes though, he could see the whirl of it all. It was still torturing her in a part of her mind.

“The first time?”

“I woke up in my bedroom as if nothing happened. There was only my daughter at home and she was looking at me with wide opened eyes. She told me that they had called her after the accident to tell her I was dead, that there was nothing else to do for me, except unplugging the machines that kept me partially alive. She was watching over me, trying to decide what to do when she saw the golden glow of my hand. I had told her about you, about the regenerations, about the Bad Wolf but she had always thought it was only stories. Until that day.”

“You regenerated?”

“I was in a coma. I didn’t know what had happened until she told me. And indeed, I was feeling a bit different. I physically changed a bit. My daughter told me she had stolen my body from the morgue before they did anything to me and brought me back home. I didn’t understand how that could have happened. I used my Torchwood access to get an explanation. Looks like the Bad Wolf never really left my body. It changed my DNA, something almost unnoticeable and yet. Here I am.”

“It did not happen just once.”

“I provoked the second one. That was risky but I had to know. And it worked again. The third time, I got shot. Every time, I regenerated. The energy the Bad Wolf had left in me healed my body and changed it a little so people wouldn’t get suspicious.”

“You look exactly the same to me.”

“The portal I’ve told you about. It was pretty unstable but I went through. My body couldn’t handle it. I controlled the regeneration to look the same I was when I travelled with you. But that wasn’t enough.”

“It was. I was just too busy mourning Clara to really look around me and see what was going on. Looks like you’ve found me just in time.”

“She found me first.”

“And he told me about what was going on with you. I decided to be the one to tell you what will happen now.”

There was a silence. Rose was slightly biting her lip. She was nervous. Whatever was going to happen now would not be something pleasant. Psycho was still tapping on the table with his fingers.

“Well, I guess my mission is over now.”

“You can go.” She nodded.

She didn’t need to tell him twice. He disappeared immediately. Rose didn’t look at her beloved Doctor right away. She stared at the empty seat left by Psycho for a moment.

“So… What’s now? Since we’re in my head, there’s a way to get out of here, isn’t it?”

“That’s more complicated than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re dying, Doctor.”

There was another silence. She was still avoiding his look. She bit her bottom lip. He had no idea what he was going through right now but she knew. He took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.

“That’s not possible.”

“Unfortunately, it is. Your body can’t regenerate anymore and it’s not healing itself. You’re blocking it.”

“Why would I?”

“Because you lost everyone and everything.”

She was talking about an emotional block from his mind. That was why his body wasn’t healing. That was why he was slowly dying while they were talking. The restaurant suddenly disappeared. Everything that was around disappeared too. There was only Rose and him, now standing on the edge of a cliff.

“What does that mean?”

“Here where you really are. On the edge of life or death. That’s what Psycho had to tell you.”

“He came to tell me I was dying, I got it.”

He was still confused though. One second, he was fighting fit and the second after, he learnt that he was about to die. He looked down. He couldn’t see where the cliff ended. He swallowed. It was terrifying but he couldn’t admit it. He couldn’t admit he was terrified. But he didn’t have to. Rose was in his head. She knew. She could feel everything and see everything. She had maybe saved his life until now.

“He came here to tell you you have the choice, Doctor,” she said, taking his hand in hers.

“What choice?”

“Right now, I’m keeping your mind and body alive but it’s not my decision to take.”

“You gotta stop playing around and tell me what’s going on like right now!”

The fear made him angry. She didn’t react at him yelling at her. She just held his hand a bit tighter. She faced him, some tears in her eyes.

“You are the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, Doctor. You opened to me the doors of a brand new life. A life full of danger but a life where I could do what was right, what was fair. I will never be truly able to thank you for showing me how wonderful the universe can be, how good it feels to take a stand and defend those who need to.”

“Rose, you sound like you’re doing a farewell.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because whatever you’ll choose, it’ll be the last time we see each other. If you survive, you’ll find Gallifrey and I can’t follow you there. I’ll have to stay on Earth. If you don’t, we’ll die together. I have nothing left to lose now.”

He looked down once again, holding her hand. The wind was blowing all around them, threatening to make them fall. The decision had to be taken quickly. There would be no second chance.

“I remember the first time I ever caught your hand in that basement. If someone had told me you would change my life that way, I wouldn’t have believed it. I wouldn’t have believed it either if someone had told me I would fall in love with a young human girl who’d risk everything for me.”

She didn’t say anything and quietly listened to him, the eyes closed not to see the truth under her feet. That new version of her Doctor looked so much like the first she knew. Dark, hurt, angry and yet, almost human.

“I never forgot that day either.”

“I can’t lose you a second time. I can’t keep living if that means losing you again.”

“Doctor…”

She knew. Hearing the tone of his voice, she knew he had taken his decision. Her heart broke. That was not what she had wanted for him. She wanted him to live even if it meant being apart from him.

“You had to go through so many things because of me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being able to protect you, for letting you down. It’s never gonna happen again. I’m never gonna let anything pull us apart again. Gallifrey, the Time Lords, the TARDIS, the universe… It doesn’t matter anymore if you’re not there with me.”

“That’s your choice, Doctor. You step back or you jump. You live or you die.”

“If living means losing you, then I jump.”

He turned his back to the cliff and closed his eyes still holding her hand very tight. He was afraid but he knew that was the right choice.

“Don’t make your choice because of me. The universe needs you.”

“I dedicated all my thirteen lives to the universe and what did I get in return? Nothing. I lost everything and everyone. The universe took everything away from me. It broke me. And I remember now…”

“What do you remember?”

“I wanted them to kill me,” he admitted.

He was weird, saying it out loud. He didn’t even clearly think about it when he had walked through the streets and provoked the guys. He just wanted the pain to stop and that was the only way for him. He didn’t want to live another century with all that pain, with all the weight of his lost people. The other Time Lords could take care of the universe. The Doctor was done.

“They did.”

Rose faced him and gently stroked his cheek. It was a bit selfish of him to give up on everything that way, to choose Rose and the death instead of the universe and the life. Her words meant everything at that point. She knew he had chosen death, she knew he would jump. The Doctor opened his eyes and looked into hers.

“The question is: are you jumping with me?”

“Together or not at all,” she replied softly, squeezing his hand.

He kissed her, deeply, passionately, lovingly. They were on the edge of their eternity, an eternity of peace and of love. While kissing her, he had flashes of their life together. He even saw his TARDIS, parked in the Powell Estate. It would forever remain there now, just like he wanted it to be when they faced the Daleks on the Satellite 5. She deepened the kiss with as much passion and love.

“Together or not at all,” he repeated.

They both turned their back on the cliff and closed their eyes. They were holding hands tight. They had faced life and its difficulties together, they were now about to face death. He murmured an ‘I love you’ and they both took a step back, jumping from the cliff and falling into the depths of death…

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