#and then I had to clean it all up ofc
Text
Me, sketching out charm designs: Fun!! Ehe! So fun!!
Me, lining charm designs: Why did god put me on this earth. Why was I put here only to suffer. Such a cruel fate has befallen me
Me, coloring and shading charm designs: Fun!! Ehe! So fun!!!
#Shima speaks#Can you tell I really hate lining <3#A lot of my more recent art posts have been more sketchy than anything#I've found it's way more fun to just use the base sketch and clean up the lines a little#Rather than go over them all over again with Precision. You know??#I'll still do actual lineart for my more 'professional' pieces ofc#But the sketchy lineart is fun. And easy. And better. LOL#For charms tho the lines gotta look nice *sighs*#Anyway I finished all my Pokeani charm designs. They're DONE!!#I drew all the main protags except for Tracey Max and Bonnie#Still debating if I wanna add them#Idk why I didn't include them in the first place lol#I guess since I had the thought of 'well they're less popular'#But I drew Sophocles and he's probably one of the least popular Pokeani protags. Hmm.#ANYWAY. I started on my One Piece charm designs last night#They are coming along nicely <3333#Very excited to finish them!
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
doodles and some lore. I'm tired.
#Jay does this thing on second dates where he tests the other person#he wants to make sure they'd like all of him. every part of him that may throw others off or realize he's insane#Matt and Jay were friends during high school. dated in college and broke up just before finding out Jay was pregnant#they decided to co-parent Mona and just view one another as friends#Mona really likes Don and Tk. loves Peter. though dislikes Lucy quite a bit because of how much she hears Jay complain about her with Matt#Mona is very close with Jay despite living with Matt and only coming over to Jay during the holidays/some weekends#Jay moved into the complex about a year prior to meeting Peter. he's had 5 roommates since moving in#Lucy has been the worst compared to the rest but is the only one Jay tolerates (since she's young and reminds him of himself. pretransition#Jay and Don hated each other in the beginning. only really bonded over talking shit about a neighbor#and Jay saying “anyway I gotta finish watching the game.” Don saying how he wanted to too but his tv is fucked so they watch together#Tk does have feelings for Jay but Jay just can't take the hint. he simply just thinks he's making jokes and is very kind#Jay really cares about Lucy. he often checks up on her when she's out and buys her dinner if he didn't make anything for them#and she ofc tries to make his life easier by cleaning the apartment making him coffee in the mornings etc etc#also Jay and Don sometimes just talk about marriage. how both of theirs didn't work out (I headcanon that for Don)#how it'd go - Don: I just wish I showed her how much I cared... Jay: I chased mine down with a knife. didn't kill her though. I promise.#Jay also calls Don's kid (the cop) Don Jr. he doesn't mind it that much. it's mainly cause Jay never remembers his name#my art#yb peter#Yb don#Void#Jay#Yb tk#Yb lucy#none of them die btw. Peter kills some guy who treated Jay poorly#the entirety of Jay and Peter's relationship before the abduction takes place over June#I say so cause it was a bit alarming to Tk. Don and Matt how fast Jay was rushing into the relationship and such#anyway uhh idk what else to say
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild";
"a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"
and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place
"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death
#like do you remember . “Micky the Crab” who was falcone's soldier and whom falcone eventually left to clean the fucking toilets#when the guy lost almost all his fingers#and ofc i don't think this whole charade with charity and the press is sincere (can sense 100% money laundering w charity here) but#i think he still felt some appreciation for empire bay bc this city accepted & raised him instead of sicily#i believe that there were also good intentions with the planetarium and maybe other things#maybe not everything was just a money laundering#“your teeth are a gift from god u can sink them into anyone's flesh and call it an act of giving” this is what i mean#that fact that his fucking (ugly but still) MANSION is in a poor residential area it just feels like a slap#violently shaking carlo by his shoulders WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! (gets shot right after)#the fact that he had a reputation as a shady guy among the mafia and a reputation as a philanthropist in society . carlo. why r u like this#this man is a fucking contradiction in some absolutely fucked up gross way and it's killing me. wouldn't want him any other way tho#m2#like can you imagine. if he actually felt warm towards empire bay. can you imagine if he was actually interested in making this place bette#but still organized the drug trade(which is objectively even worse than a racket)#love mixed with selfishness and violence and greed and and in the end it's creation mixed with destruction#sorry i can't get my thoughts into sentences that make sense all this week#but this contrast is killing me and i think about it a lot and i just wanted to put it together in a compilation
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i keep finding out that facing my fears helps me understand that they're not as scary as i thought. heartbreaking. why are all my fears so dumb and weak
#not all of them ofc like a horror movie scenario would suck to be in#but like my fear of puke for example. for the first time in over a year and a half my gf got sooo sick#probably from new meds reacting with weed and/or other circumstances. and i had to help her and clean up ofc#and i still hated it but i couldnt just leave her and it forced me to get over it at least for a little while#which is probably a good first step bc i know it's not the last time she'll be like this lmao#but other things too like going out alone or starting a new job. simple things that people do all the time that i just had to do once#or twice to get over the fear#pushing past discomfort is so important sometimes. not all the time but sometimes.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't remember why but I dreamed about looking up the common religions in different regions of Thailand last night
#in addition to like. more regular dreams where someone kidnapped part of our camping/hiking group and I needed to use my knowledge of#dog/wolf behavior to appease a wolf that we needed to pass by to get between two forest clearings and also since my character was a#clean-freak / germaphobe he had the power to have bugs not bother him in the woods and then that all happened twice because ofc we needed to#keep to the story script when it restarted and I had to keep everything on the rails but this time two other wolves also came up and they#all decided I was chill and we left each other alone even while I was de-escalating the kidnapping situation but then the kidnappers started#running away and I was like 'you know what would make them think again? three wolves chasing them' so I got the wolves' attention and#started running and they thought it was some kind of chase game and eventually after a couple times of them catching up with me and thinking#that was it they realized someone ahead of us was also running so THEY were the target and we finally started chasing down the kidnappers#and by this point I was considered part of the pack and also we were in a school gymnasium but right after some sort of fair or assembly so#we had to dodge chairs and tables and stacks of equipment and occasionally children but they mostly kept out of the way#oh and I think after the reset but before the kidnapping there was also a part where one of the other characters (I feel like one of my#siblings was playing this one) insisted that our top priority should be finding clothes and I was like 'wait are you NAKED?' and they were#like 'yeah we all are???' and I was like 'WHAT no I'm fully dressed. my character is wearing a suit and tie! and a hat even!' yeah yeah and#then the kidnappers/bullies came up and one of them was a blond lady with a bolo tie.#btw the reason I'm saying stuff like 'my character'/'was playing a character' is because in this dream it was explicitly characters we were#playing in some sort of game where the focus wasn't roleplay but it had a roleplay-y aspect where the different characters had different#strengths and abilities; such as Betrayal at House on the Hill or Western Legends or Dead of Winter#anyway. IDK why dream-me thought thailand was one of the most religiously diverse places on earth. in real life it's over 90% buddhist.#ThornShadow.said
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
how to be normal about my cousins 4 year old dragging my plushies across the dirty floor while I broom and mop the kitchen
#WAAAAA#callate guero#NOT EVEN MAD OR UPSET AT HER LIKE SHE IS JUST A LITTLE KID#BUT MY COUSIN AND MY COUSIN N LAW DONT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING 😭😭😭#😭😭😭 I know it may seem silly because I am a grown adult w plushies in my room but those are my items 😭#it’s respect ykno 😔#I also spent the whole day cleaning the house because everyone left and it was so bad….#then again for reference this is the side of my family that is rich and can afford maids and shit so </3#anyways#NO RESPECT FOR ME EVER EVER EVER IN THIS FAMILY#I AM BEING DRAMATIC BUT STRAIGHT UP I AM NEVER RESPECTED EVER AND I WANT TO KMS#no one respect my space my things my name my pronouns my kindness my patience#grrrrrrrrr#I can’t wait to leave and never come back </3#SPEAKING OF IM SO MAD ABOUT MY PASSPORT I TOLD THE LADY THAT DID MY SHIT FOR ME#I NEEDED A NEW PICTURE AND WORE NICE CLOTHES AND EVERYTHING AND SHE REFUSED TO DO IT#AND SO NOW OFC THEY SENT ME A LETTER WHY DIDNT I TAKE A NEW PICTURE LIKE!!!! GIRL!!!!#so I had to go to staples get my own pictures done and mail it over to them… all because the lady who’s job it is to do so#wouldn’t do it…. like GIRL!!!!!#NO RESPECT FOR MY INTELLIGENCE OR MY ABILITY TO KNOW THINGS#SIGH.#anyways…
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
screaming in the club
time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like waking up in the middle of the night and doing things and then going back to sleep to wake up again to a fresh batch of rolls
i also think i get more things done at night because there are fewer options of things to do so choosing one thing is from a narrower list of things to be done.
i wonder if i could use this in my daytime life by breaking my to-do lists into smaller sections of related activities and then picking out one from a list of, say, three things, rather than a list of fifteen or more
#i had such a weird type of night#bc parties aren’t usually so early#but finally had enough drinks to a.) get sick and b.) 100% not remember it#i only know because i woke up with my sick bucket perched near my bed and the toilet seat up#so i got sick cleaned up after it responsibly put the bucket near in case i needed it again and i can’t remember it at all#but i was very responsible about it and all clean#fun that i didn’t have to remember#ofc no hangover bc i never get one#so when i woke up early morning i made bread#interesting mix of activities#have to be careful with these medications and alcohol#txt#personali#alcohol mention#in the tags but still
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry @ all my commi//ssioners for the delay in your piece! i had a lot of family stuff going on and then,,, the past couple days ive been super sick (out of no where too its kinda weird) im gonna get some sketches done today but im gonna be out and about from the 23rd-30th for Chris//tmas stuff (big family hurrah.) Thank you sm for your patience ;_; !!
#jude jests 🃏#been vom.iting/trying not to fr a couple days and uhh i hate being an adult bc i ofc. have to clean eveyrthing up#ew ew ew sorry guys am i still hpt tho#hot*#before that i just had a bunch of back to back stuff with family and my friends#ESP BC I HAVENT SEEN THESE FRIENDS IN 2 YEARS AAAAGFG i missed these cunts fr#but ill be trying to get 2 or 3 sketches done ;_;#ill try to make up for it by cleaning it up all nice or sumn
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would be less of a holiday villain if my mom and brother could be less annoying about my mom being a boy mom
#personal#mom. he is a grown man. i do not need to grab the plate in front of him at a restaurant to put it in the to go box#brother. she is not asking just bc i have the box in front of me at the moment#and she was asking for help in the garage and specified a few times GRAHAM. not ben. and like yes#i get he had dental surgery im not gonna make him do heavy lifting#and then she rolled her eyes at me when i mentioned ben has to help clean the kitchen and table area#and it’s like i don’t want a repeat of that thanksgiving when he’d said he help#didn’t. then cussed me out till i was crying and made of me crying for asking him to fucking help#we both had jobs you think i’m not tired either!!!#and i’m still so bitter over the next two christmas’s#like the christmas directly after that didn’t ask for any help#even tho i was cooking and also taking care of my mom bc it was right after that huge surgery where i just helped her eat or move all the#time and no one got angry at me just bc i shut up and did everything without complaint#next christmas ofc being the one when ben broke my door and my mom blamed it on me even after ben said yeah i was being unreasonable#like if my mom could just let him do what he can do as a grown man i wouldn’t be so mad#and if my brother could stop writing off our moms known behavior that would make me not angry
1 note
·
View note
Text
craving art validation recently
#so frustrating lol#i think this is partly bc i havent had the time to make personal art (all project work)#and ofc project work gets torn to shreds for notes#combined with like...#me desperately needing to clean up my portfolio#thats the problem....#career work is niche so if i just hold it up people are like. ah. thats nice#and im like laying down like cool. haha#ely talks#personal#just thrashing in my cage like please. crumbs please im working so hard#also im not under nda but i will probably not be posting a lot of this work rn on my socials for.. another year which is. ghgufg#feels really weird to post concept art for projects that arent out yet
7 notes
·
View notes
Photo
anyhow if any of you wanted to know how my ER went/is going....trust me I tried to just do something simple for the start but quickly found Dragon Powers and burnt and rotted everything between me and more stuff I can use to make things dead faster
bonus sketch i did when i still only used the basic twinblade to twirl shit to death(+basic rot breath only BUT post Radahn so...mid game i guess)
#basically went from sabers to bloodhound sword#to twinblade to elenoras poleblade#and while i have played around w/ other weapons as well#i just love its weapon art and general vibe too much#its speedy and its fun so yeah it's mine#katanas are cool and all but too basic and boring#same w/ most pokey weapons like spears and rapier#swords do be swording but come on#twirl around like the stinkiest rot butterfly because yep you ofc got that#and then fight eleonora who basically has your set but like the cooler version at the time#fuck you i'm the better twinblade+dragon power user now bitch HA#aaaaanyhow i am going through my wips and cleaning shit up fast#zkretchy#art#doodles#elden ring#...............................like technically yeah but mostly shitpost#black knife armor rly is just me going 'oooh pretty'#i am beginning to suspect thin waist armor set thats black+dark blues is a thing#bc i had the same reaction w/ artorias' armor#insert if i had a nickel every time-meme here#suspicious now though <-<#more research is needed
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Holy fuck you couldn't cut the moody tension in my household with a knife rn...
#jfc i feel like if i say or do anything someone's gonna lose their shit on me#mom's already gotten after me for not putting my laundry away immediately after she told me to#then got after me again for it even after i had already put the laundry away#dad's yelling at the internet providers recorded menu (again)#my mom's voice has an edge to it the sounds like Breakdown Imminent#i don't want to be here right now i don't want to fuckin exist rn i just want to be Void#i hate being stuck here i hate that the only place i have to retreat to is 400sqft in the basement#i hate that i cant leave so much as a thing out upstairs when mom goes on a cleaning binge#everything i have has to be out of sight and every surface has to be Clean#and heavenforfuckingbid i clean something but not to her standards or i wont hear the end of it#i fuckin hate the holidays because it means mom expects the house to be Hallmark card perfect#and she makes everyone miserable (including herself) to make it that way#who hires a fuckin carpet cleaning service the week of Thanksgiving? my mother that's who#and ofc the floors have to be CLEAN for the carpet guys to come clean them#and then she's all huffy that i work tomorrow and Wednesday and that i cant be home to help her cook and clean#and im gonna fuckin lose it this week i can tell#especially since the main elevator at work is busted and we have to haul all our demo shit from the first floor up to the third#and i just really really dont want to exist rn#fox isn't doing well#fox thoughts
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
🤭
#this is vee speaking#finally had my summer wardrobe mochis sent over whew#i ofc bought the og plushies but this ain’t about them lol#the details on these mochis still make me cry like jyushi and kuukou have little dangling fabrics for their chain earrings 😭😭😭#i wish i could explain how giggly hitoya’s face made me and why lol i honestly don’t even know#lol and so like dice’s mochi????? for whatever reason his has the softest hair out of all of them?????#it was very strange to open up his package and to feel THE softest fabric like ramuda and gencha really cleaned him up lmao
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah#but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me#I don't even need a day of people being nice#truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to#and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash#but it's not just him#my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something#I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same#perspective#and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because#I didn't know what else to say#and even though I'm sick#I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was#struggling and had to lay back down#and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort#she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here#and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes#and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an#cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all#and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note#and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my#house#and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore#and i'm just emotionally drained#and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired#I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration#no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this#and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once
0 notes
Text
Been wanting to be creative lately but either a. Work interferes. b. My body fails me. Or c. My environment makes it hard to be creative !! But! I do not have work tomorrow (today? It's currently 1 am) and I spent all night cleaning and organizing and doing laundry and re arranging my room. WHICH MEANS! I can be creative in peace now <3
#when my room gets too messy after some time#and i let it pile up a lot#it starts to bother me quite a bit#but sometimes mental health says no so i rot a bit#but it always always gets under my skin even if im ignoring it#last night i had a bad migraine and being in my room was making me so twitchy#i hated how awful and messy it was and swore id clean it the next day.#then ofc hit with period cramps !! so i had to put it off till i felt better#but all is well. i have cleaned and i can draw and write in peace now !!#with no guilt !!
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
kinkmanor-too
Kink Manor Too!
zinfuziz
otaku J
elliewiltarwyn
the personal journal and scrapbook of Elilgeim "Ellie" Wiltarwyn
telugu-interesting-facts
Telugu Interesting Facts