#and the series legit kinda feels like playing the games so it's really satisfying that we'll get some more content | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlesniggy · 3 years

Text

Paranoia

This is a Dabi fanfic and it's way longer than anticipated and I don't know if you guys like it but it was on my mind the whole day and I kinda really wanted to write it. Hope you enjoy it.

Synopsis: Reader plays truth or dare and visits a website on the dark web. It goes all downhill from then on. Non-quirk AU.

Note: I have no idea how this whole thing with the dark web works so don't bother too much if it's wrong. Also, friends' reaction is a little weird but oh well. I'm also reeeeally bad with giving characters names so....yeah...you'll see.

Warning: Anxiety, mental abuse

Word count: 3.8k

It was a silly idea but you and your friends did this stupid truth or dare thing and now it was your turn. Since you’ve chosen truth the last time, now it had to be dare. One of your friends dared you to log into the Dark Web. You were confused since you had no idea on how you were supposed to do this. You were not really tech savvy nor have you been interested in visiting the deep, dark part of the internet before. But your friend assured you that he knew how to get access (how and why, you didn’t want to question) and that it was rather funny to see what kind of thing you could find there.

Reluctantly, you agreed, a mistake you would regret later. You opened your laptop, signed in and let you friend show you how to get access to a website on the Dark Web. Your other friends gathered around the two of you, watching with curiosity. “How do you know how to get in?” one of them wanted to know but he just shrugged, grinning to himself. “I got curious one day. Don’t worry.” He answered and the other cackled, taking another sip from their beer.

You weren’t so sure about this whole situation. Maybe it was because it was your laptop, maybe it was because you didn’t feel too keen on doing something ‘illegal’. Was it even illegal? Or was it just illegal to buy something from there? You had no idea. Nevertheless, was there a heavy lump in your stomach but you didn’t want to back down now.

He opened a link and a website opened. It didn’t look like much but it looked shady anyways. Your friends made wide eyes and pointed at a link and challenged you to open it. Your friend made room for you to sit in front of the screen, a huge grin on his face. “C’mon, Y/n! Open it!” they animated you and you gave in, clicking the link. A dark window opened with a chatroom. Messages popped up, a conversation between strangers.

You read the messages but didn’t do anything beyond it. “You need to say something, too!” your friends told you but you didn’t want to. “I don’t know…” you said but before you could say anything else one of them started typing. “Hey!” you yelled but were too late to push her away and prevent her from sending the short text.

I hope nothing shady’s going on here.

“Are you out of your mind? Why did you send that?” you demanded to know but she simple giggled. “Relax. It’s not like they’re gonna take this seriously.” Another one said but her eyes were glued to the screen, anticipating an answer. But there was none – at least not to your message. Instead, they went on with their conversation which was kind of boring to read. “Maybe this is just a normal website and he is just messing with us.” “Hey! This website is legit! I once saw one asking for child pornography!” he defended himself but the others were not convinced. “Sure. Let’s get goin’. It’s your turn with truth or dare anyways, Dai-chan.”

He mumbled to himself, annoyed that they didn’t believe him that this site was legit but let it go and put an arm around his girlfriend, moving back to the sofa with her, others following. Your eyes were still glued to the screen and you were about to close the window and forget about the who thing, when a small window popped up. It simply read:

Hope you join us again.

It’s been two weeks since you and your friends had this truth or dare night and after you closed the website and shut the laptop close the night went on pleasantly. You forgot about this whole ‘Dark Web’ and moved on with your life, by now also convinced Daisuke was messing with you guys.

You were sitting in class, listening to the professor talk about the history of capitalism, it’s pros and cons but you were barely listening. You were way more interested in this episode of “Haikyuu!!” your friend introduced you to and since then you were hooked. You listened to it with your earphones, not bothering to cover it up. You were emotionally completely invested in the game when a small window popped up, indicating a chat request. You had no idea which website this was coming from and ignored it, clicked the small ‘x’ and kept watching the episode.

A couple minutes later another message; this time you got curious. The website you were watching the episode at was none of those shady websites where half naked women were advertising for some porn website and women who were ‘less than a mile away’. So, this should be something different. A little hesitantly, you opened the chat box and a window opened, revealing a black screen with two bubbles – the two messages that had been sent before.

Hi.

You never came back.

You were confused and locked around the room. Everyone was either looking at their laptops, writing something down or flat out sleeping with their heads on the table. No one was looking your way.

Who are you?

It didn’t take long for the person to answer.

Are you bored?

He completely ignored your question but before you could type in a reply another message popped up.

Or why else would you be watching an anime during class?

You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at the screen. Your eyes darted around the room once again, you even turned around but no one was looking at you, not even a small glance. This must be a joke you thought to yourself and you gave a small huff.

Stop it, Daisuke. You can’t freak me out again.

No reply. Satisfied, you smiled to yourself and closed the window again, making a mental note to slap the shit out of him later.

“Why would you send me those creepy messages?!” you confronted Daisuke and he raised his hands in defense, confusion plastered all over his face. “What’re you talking about?” he wanted to know, his girlfriend holding on to his arm, looking similarly confused. “You sent me those creepy messages during class, didn’t you?” He chuckled nervously but shook his head no. “What messages are you talking about? He was with me the whole time.” She defended him and you huffed, not convinced. “Sure. You had your fun but please, don’t do this again. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

When you got back to your apartment, you took out your keys, unlocked the door, opened it and locked it behind you again. You were a little paranoid since you’ve moved here, a lot of break-ins happened in the neighborhood over the last couple of months. To top it all off, you lived on the first floor, easy access to your apartment from the sidewalk. But it was cheap and one of the few places you could actually afford with your crappy job.

Your shoes flew across the hallway and you made your way over to the small kitchen, checking for anything edible but to no surprised it was empty. A sigh left your mouth, not wanting to go out again and get something to eat. So, pizza delivery should do for tonight, even though it would be the third night in a row.

When the pizza finally arrived you sat yourself in front of your TV and watched some random series, not actually interested in the content itself but you needed the background noise to start your assignment later.

Your phone screen lit up, indicating a new message. You grabbed your phone but dropped it once your read the message. Your heart started racing, threatening to either burst out your chest or stop beating completely. Your body got cold and you started to shiver.

Do you like watching that shit?

You put the piece of pizza away and got up, storming from window to window, looking outside and the closing the curtains once you made sure no one was there. You stalked back to the sofa and picked up your phone from the floor, reading the message again. Surely, this had to be a joke, right? Your friends were just messing with you, right?

You opened the text with trembling fingers. You didn’t know the number that was displayed on top of the message. Maybe Daisuke bought a sim card just to scare you? But why would he do that? He wasn’t the type to do this, especially since his girlfriend would reprimand him for doing that.

Who are you?

Not a minute later you got a reply.

You can call me Dabi.

Dabi? Obviously, a fake name but you wouldn’t ask him for his real name. Hell, you didn’t want to answer him at all again and were tempted to just block this number. But the next message flew right in.

How you doin’?

Did he really try to do small talk?

Stop messaging me!

And that was it. No messages anymore. Maybe it was one of your friends after all. Still, the anxiety still remained.

In the middle of the night you woke up to your phone vibrating, the bright screen blinding you. You pressed your eyes together and opened them again, trying to recognize the number that was calling you at this ungodly hour. When your eyes got used to the brightness you looked at the scree – unknown number. Annoyed, you put the phone aside again and were relieved when it finally stopped ringing. The room turned dark again and you closed your eyes, ready to fall asleep again.

Your phone screen lit up once more, this time another text. You didn’t bother checking it and fell asleep instead, being consumed by complete darkness until the next morning when your alarm went off.

You didn’t check your phone until you sitting in a seat on the bus, surrounded by strangers who were on their ways to work as well. The small red symbol indicated a voice mail. You dialed the number to your voicemail and waited until the automatic announcement signalized the new voice mail. You tried to hear anything but there was just the rush of wind and a faint breathing. Then it was over. Confused, you deleted it, thinking it must’ve been an accident. But your mind wandered back to the night before and the texts. You checked the number from the texts and the one from the voicemail.

You could see the number that was used to text you but not the one from the missed call and the voicemail. So, you had no proof that it was the same number. It made you feel uneasy nevertheless.

What were you looking for?

The message came out of nowhere. The same number as last night. Why? Why was that person texting you? Hadn’t you made it clear that you wanted to be left alone?

Leave me alone.

It’s dangerous on those websites. Ye never know what people you might encounter.

You snorted. Yeah, people like you.

Like you?

It was bold of you to answer but by this point you were more annoyed by that person than scared. How fast your feelings could change…

Like me? I’m pretty harmless.

A short pause before another text came in.

What were you looking for?

He asked again, not leaving it alone. You were about to type in an answer when you stopped. Why didn’t you question it before? Why didn’t you question some stranger suddenly starting to chat you up on the dark web and not long after continued to text you on your phone? It clicked and you chuckled like someone who had just solved a mystery.

Good try but I know it’s you, Daisuke. Quit making up fake names.

You got off the bus and felt your phone vibrate.

What makes you think I’m Daisuke?

You shook your head in disbelief. Why was he keeping this act up? He was there when you entered this website, he was there when your friend sent this message to the group chat and he probably also saw the private message you got before closing the window.

Stop it already. I don’t trust the others doing that shit and you were there when we went on that stupid side. You just want to scare me.

No reply. Now, I’ve got you finally!

Would you believe me if I told you I’m not Daisuke?

This was getting ridiculous.

Please, just leave me alone. I’m about to start work. See you tonight and you better not text me again from this number. It’s getting annoying.

You were invited to a party at night, all of your friends were going as well. You were tired from work but didn’t want to miss out on the fun. You got ready at home. Tight jeans, a cute shirt and pumps – subtle but not too prude. You did your make-up in a cute but sexy way, highlighting your eyes and putting on lipstick. Content with your outfit you left the apartment once your friend’s car showed up, locking the door twice.

“Why would you keep texting me?!” you yelled at Daisuke when you met him at the party. He was making out with his girl, both already drunk. “What?” his eyes were unfocused when you hold your phone screen up in his face. He squinted his eyes to read the texts before he started chuckling. “Why woulddi texxxt you somethn’ like that?” he slurred, a derpy smile on his lips. Frustrated, you threw your hands in the air and stomped off, annoyed by this whole shenanigan. But okay, you would prove that it was him!

You walked off to the side where it was quieter, eyes on Daisuke and his girlfriend, and called the number from the text. It rang twice before someone picked up.

You froze in place. Daisuke was not holding his phone. Rather the opposite; his hands were occupied with moving under his girl’s shirt, groping her breasts shamelessly.

You didn’t dare speak up, a huge lump in your throat. You heard a slow breath from the other side of the phone but nothing more.

“You havin’ fun at the party, Y/n?”

You screamed and dropped your phone, clutching your hands together, bringing them up to your face. Your whole body trembled and you stared at the bright phone screen, the time counting up, indicating the still active call. A few people were looking at you bewildered but didn’t seem to care too much.

Slowly, you picked up the phone again, bringing it back to your ear.

“No need to scream.”

A dark chuckle resonated trough the phone. It sounded amused but it was more than unnerving.

“W-who are you?” You asked with a meek voice. You pressed your back to the wall behind you for support but unable to just hang up the phone.

“Rude to just forget someone’s name. Didn’t take you as this type of girl.”

Dabi, that was his name, you remembered.

“H-how did you get my number?” you demanded to know, insecurity almost oozing out of your voice. Another chuckle, this time a little more sinister.

“You really wanna know?”

Did you? Probably not, but you still answered yes.

“Not gonna tell ya.”

There was another pause before he started speaking again.

“The jeans look good on you. Turn around so I can take a better look.”

Your knees gave in and you started crying, phone clutching in your hand but not able to end the call. The people around you started to look worried and got closer, asking if you were okay.

“You’re usually not supposed to cry when receiving a compliment. You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’. Can you say thank you, Y/n?”

“Leave me alone!” you yelled at the phone and threw it across the room. It smashed against the opposite wall and you saw the screen go black. You pressed your knees against your chest, tears running down your face. Who was this man? Why was he watching you?

Your friends rushed over, worry written all over their faces. “Y/n! Y/n! What’s wrong?” they asked, some of them stroking your back but you couldn’t pull yourself together. The music had stopped and a cluster of people had formed around you.

“Someone is watching me…” you whispered so only your friends could hear. One of them grabbed your phone from the opposite wall and walked over towards you, phone in hand and ready to hand it to you.

“I don’t think it’s broken. You can probably just start it again.” He said and hold it out for you to grab. Hesitantly, you grabbed it but didn’t turn it on.

“C-can you just drive me home, please?” you asked your friend with teary eyes and shaky voice. Concerned, she nodded and helped you up. Some of them insisted on staying with you but you said no. You just wanted to barricade yourself in your apartment and only leave when it was bright outside again.

On your way home you turned on your phone but there were no new messages. But you were far from feeling relieved. Only once you were home and locked every door, every window and hid under your blanket would you feel somewhat safe again. But not right now, not when you were outside and still visible for anyone to see.

“I need to stop at the gas station real quick. You can wait here.” Your friend said and pulled up next to the entrance. She probably wanted to buy some cigarettes. You stayed in the car when your phone vibrated once again. Tears formed in your eyes again; you felt hopeless when you slowly opened the message. There was a picture. It was dark but there was light in the distance. You looked closer and recognized the place.

Without thinking you jumped out the car and started running. You knew you were close to your home, not too far away. You heard your friend call from the distance but you didn’t stop, just ran straight into the forest next to the station which would eventually lead you right to your home. Sticks scratched against your skin, thick roots of trees made you stumble but you always caught yourself.

Your phone started ringing and you could see that it was your friend calling. But you didn’t answer. Instead, you kept on running until you could see houses in the distance. Almost. Just a couple hundred yards.

You crossed the street, fumbling with your keys and needing more than one attempt to unlock the door, looking over your shoulder over and over again to make sure that there wasn’t anyone here.

Tears blurred your vision but finally you managed to unlock your apartment door and closed it right behind you, locking it as often as you could. Before you could feel at least some sort of relief you ran to the windows, checked if they were closed and closed the curtains. Then, and only then did you sink to the floor, starting to sob uncontrollably. Why was this happening? What have you done to deserve this? It was just a stupid dare, why is he targeting me?

A small buzzing sound led your focus to your phone. You didn’t want to look but you had to, regretting it instantaneously. A moan of agony made its way out of the depth of your body. You didn’t want to answer but your hand moved on its own.

“Glad you made it home safely.”

“FUCK OFF! I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!!!” you screamed, sure you woke up some of the other residents. Good, you thought. The more people awake the more likely it was that he didn’t do anything funny. His tone changed.

“No, you won’t.” he sounded self-assured, as if he knew exactly how you would behave.

“Cause if you do I have to hurt you.” He said it as if he was talking about the weather, nonchalantly.

“Y-You said you were harmless.” You argued, sounding pathetic. You crawled over the floor to the furthest corner of the room where you could watch the door to your apartment.

“Did I?”

He sounded musing as if he tried to remember.

“Guess it was a lie then.”

“What do you want?” you pleaded but you didn’t get an answer to your question.

“Are you sure you locked the door?”

The sudden question had you widen your eyes. Have you? Of course! It was the first thing you did! But did you really lock it?

“Maybe you should check it.”

You didn’t want to. Maybe he was standing right in front of your door, waiting for you to open it. But what if you didn’t lock the door? Anxiety took over your thinking and you crawled over to the door, checking the handle. Relieve filled your body when you realized it was, indeed, locked.

“Guess you locked it after all. Do you have your keys?”

Keys? You looked up at the small table where you usually kept your keys. No keys. Dread filled you and you wanted to curl up into a ball. Was he in your apartment? Your heard him chuckle again.

“Don’t worry. I don’t have your keys. You probably dropped them somewhere.”

Your eyes wandered over the floor and there they were, next to the bathroom door. How they got there was beyond you but you couldn’t care less. They were there and that was all that mattered.

“Leave me alone. Please!” a high pitched voice you didn’t recognize as your own echoed through the apartment.

“Leave me alone.”

He mocked you.

“But okay. I will leave you alone. If you can tell me where I am right now.”

It clicked and he had hung up. Your head shot up and you looked around. He was in here! You knew it! Or was he messing with you? But how did he know where your keys were? He could’ve guessed. But you should’ve been able to hear him if he actually was in your apartment. He just wanted to make you more and more paranoid.

You got up, knees weak and barely supporting your body weight. Fear clung to your body like a second skin and you tried to keep your mind from racing a thousand miles a minute by telling yourself that he was bluffing. Still, you moved from room to room, turning on the lights and checking every single room.

No one in sight. He’s not here. You felt a burden fall off your back and relief flooded your senses instead. He was just bluffing.

You slowly calmed down but didn’t go to bed until you couldn’t keep your eyes open again. You were almost asleep when your phone vibrated on the night stand. You were too tired to open the message and instead drifted into a dreamless sleep.

You forgot to check the closet.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #dabi imagine #touya todoroki #todoroki touya #non-quirk AU

24 notes · View notes

adultswim2021 · 3 years

Text

Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #night of the living doo #boo boo runs wild #yogi bear #jetsons #ephemera

9 notes · View notes

tigerdrop · 3 years

Note

i have a lot of trouble writing benrey in my fics— how did you experiment with his characterization until you were satisfied with it, and what other benny interpretations do u enjoy from other fic writers? i love the way you write him, his dialogue feels so authentic and believable.

AW thank u......it always makes my day to hear something nice about the way i characterize ppl......there were a lot of things i did to try to nail how he talks and thinks. thank u for asking this b/c i have a Lot to say about this subject

the first thing is, obv, watching the series. i have to include this one b/c i feel like quite a few ppl in this fandom.....like.....havent. there is a certain way of characterizing him as an Epic Mischievous Gamer that is, uhhh, very much a fanon thing that ppl see on tumblr and imitate and flanderize all to hell. but, like, im an obsessive little weirdo who will rewatch things over and over again to take notes on characters’ behavior and dialogue and i really gotta recommend just sitting back and listening to how benrey talks.

hes not dropping gamer references constantly. hes not making every single sentence out of his mouth some obnoxious quip. hes slow on the uptake and drops conversations entirely if he doesnt care about them. he has never once said “cringe” before and whenever i see a fic that has him doing it multiple times i feel minutes shaved off of my lifespan. the #1 tip i can give here is to not have benrey talking in fucking 2010s gamer lingo every time he opens his mouth. please

(i feel partially responsible for the spread of this kind of characterization. my first 2 fics have him doing stuff like that every once in awhile. sometimes i debate going back and changing them, but like, benrey saying “poggers” one time aside, i think they hold up pretty good. so i havent. something something historical accuracy)

the more i wrote about him, the more i tried digging into the aspects of his character that i found the most appealing. some people are really into his polite side. i am really into his bullying side. so i would watch the bits where benrey really has his “gordon bullying” mode cranked up to 11 and make note of how he acts, how he talks. trying to replicate it. “benrey saying epic random shit to piss gordon off” is much less his vibe than, like, demeaning gordon, and i feel like the bathroom skit is the ultimate manifestation of this. it is genuinely my favorite bit in the whole series b/c its so ideally representative of their weird-ass dynamic. this fuckin high school bullying LARP in the middle of a public restroom. god in heaven

the less you lean on the crutches of “gamer lingo” and “wacky non-sequitur”, the more it forces you to think about how he behaves. what motivates him. and generally, like, he operates on his own wavelength. he doesnt fully understand everything thats going on around him and selectively chooses what he tunes into. and, most importantly, he just wants to play games, man. benrey likes goofing off with the science crew and playing mind games with gordon. he fails to understand the gravity of his actions a lot of the time b/c hes not human, and hes not operating under the same social guidelines.

(this is the part where people like to speculate exactly what kind of non-human he is, and i think this can be helpful for setting up his motivations! me, personally, i am of the opinion that hes just a video game guy made real. kind of like a live-action cartoon character. so hes operating on video game logic a lot of the time, and doesnt grasp that consequences for actions are different for normal people who cant noclip or respawn. a kind of lack of empathy that manifests in him being capricious, indifferent, detached......purely oriented around “getting his job done” and “chilling” and, naturally, “fucking with gordon freeman“.)

ultimately it boils down to distilling just what i like out of their interactions and trying to Manifest it repeatedly. i go crazy about their actual canon interactions and i want to write things that hit the notes i like: two guys who are mutually kind of obsessed with one another, for better or worse, and engage in a lot of play fighting (and, you know, genuine fighting, too) as a sublimation of it. best frenemies, if you will.

i think that a lot of the problems people have in writing benrey is that they kinda just project whatever attributes they want in a lover onto him. like, man, i like cute shit as much as the next guy, but do you really think that the dude who bullies gordon freeman while hes having a panic attack is gonna tenderly stroke gordons hair and wipe his tears and tell him that everythings gonna be okay? no, dude. even when benrey expresses any kind of concern, he does it in a way that communicates that he doesnt understand the gravity of whats going on and he doesnt “get” why gordons lying on the ground yelling, or why gordons howling in pain after getting his arm cut off. he is not an empathetic guy. hes actually kind of a creep!!! a lil freakjob! the weirdness and the lack of humanity are what make him hot!!!!

and this is what makes it own so hard on the rare occasions he does show empathy! its the same reason why its so cute when gordon stops bitching for 0.5 seconds and tries to be nice! theyre earned moments, not character defaults. and cutesy/lovey-dovey shit with these two is definitely doable, but i would love to see more of it take into account the fact that these are two dudes who fucking suck and who especially suck at being emotionally open with each other.

as far as characterizations that i really like........okay. full disclosure. the biggest reason ive been losing my shit over the catmaid freemind fic is b/c the author is one of the few people who really taps in to what i like about benrey, and what i like about his relationship with gordon. hes teasing. he likes to use his perceived authority to bully people. hes weirdly protective of gordon. but hes also just, like, a chill dude who wants to play video games. and he legit likes gordon and expresses affection for him in some of the most in-character ways ive ever seen

like. deliberately spilling milk on the couch and flatly going like “oops.” b/c he wants gordon to sleep in his room......playing nurse by doing fuck-all apart from giving gordon powerade while hes sick and keeping the volume on his video games low......kicking barmey under the table for making fun of gordon being dogboyed.......it is all exceptionally cute shit and its delightfully in-character. i feel so bad for the author b/c im a frenrey head and i am primarily reading it for those two. but god they do it so well.......im hooked. im obsessed

thank u again for asking this and for the lovely compliment ^q^ i hope this answered your question......i have spent entirely too much of my life thinking about my favorite half life funny guy

#asky #careposting

39 notes · View notes

morethanzero · 3 years

Note

What is your favorite and least favorite escape room from the series and why? If that's too hard to pin down, what are some that you see as particularly memorable?

[Note from future Rio: I started working on the answer to this ask around 11:30 PM on meme day. So even though it is definitely no longer meme day by the time I post this, I did start while it still was lmao]

OH, THAT’S SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!!!!! And I do have an answer for you!!!! Several, in fact! For both questions!!

Favorite escape room: The trash disposal room (found in the D-Team fragment entitled “Fire”) in Zero Time Dilemma. There’s a lot of fun banter between Sigma, Phi, and Diana (such as Phi once again insisting that she has a large chest when Sigma asks if she can fit through a chute connecting the incinerator (which Phi is trapped in) to the rest of the room, followed immediately by Sigma telling Diana to take her clothes off in an effort to prove once and for all that Phi is full of shit. Naturally, Diana refuses), and other silliness that ensues. The way the escape begins instills a sense of urgency beyond that of the typical, “Guys, we only have 90 minutes before we’ll be knocked out again.” weighing on the team, and despite the relative silliness of the things like aforementioned argument involving the size of Phi’s chest and even Diana checking Sigma out when he ends up bound to a chair that shows up towards the very end, there’s also this... sense of impending doom you get from the room itself, which is bathed in a deep, red glow, the music which is harsh and makes heavy use of an ominous sort of melody that is accentuated by metallic clanging noises, and the very fact that while Phi doesn’t seem to be in any immediate danger, the fact remains that she is most assuredly locked in an incinerator. Anyway, none of the puzzles are mind-numbingly hard. Though one or two took a fair bit of time to work through, most were the right level of satisfying to figure out and not too hard to begin with.

I have a lot of feelings about the trash disposal room and about Fire as a whole, and I initially typed up a lot more about the aftermath that follows completing the escape room, but I don’t wanna give everything away (for the benefit of everyone else reading this, I’ve been playing ZTD with the nerd that shot me this ask and we haven’t done this room yet)! ;)

But rest assured that the trash disposal room in ZTD is easily my favorite in the entire series.

Least favorite escape room: I would say that my least favorite escape room is probably......... the healing room, also from ZTD. It’s from another D-Team fragment called “Suppression”. I won’t say that I didn’t get through a decent chunk of VLR without a guide because I absolutely did use a guide for a decent chunk of VLR, but the healing room had one of the only puzzles I ultimately required a guide for in ZTD. Believe me, I tried for a good while to do it legit, but wow, that flower puzzle was extremely frustrating, and I didn’t even feel remotely satisfied when I completed it. Only relieved. I also ended up getting stuck because I couldn’t figure out where to find some items I still needed to collect. The room is also very bland and even kinda felt uncomfortably claustrophobic (despite being able to change the scenery in the room, which also ends up being required to solve a number of puzzles within it). Don’t ask me why, but despite also being small, crammed, and extremely white, the Q room in VLR managed to not feel completely claustrophobic. The aftermath of it was also much more satisfying than that of the healing room. Suppression ends up being one of those extremely unfortunate fragments where the team that does it is completely boned no matter how things go in the Decision Game. Really, the only thing that I liked about the healing room was the Decision Game that takes place in it. It’s extremely funny. Otherwise, not really a fan of it.

Other notable escape rooms:

Infirmary [ZTD (Fragment entitled “Poison”)]: Most of my favorite escape rooms involve a lot of silly banter and the characters goofing off, and there’s a good bit of it in this room. Seeing Akane and Junpei making snarky remarks at one another like an old bickering married couple and also Akane playfully threatening generally mild violence at Junpei while Carlos watches on exasperatedly is also pretty damn funny. It also doesn’t hurt that the Decision Game that takes place after this room is one of only I think two (the other being the rec room in the fragment called “Anthropic Principle”) in the entirety of ZTD in which getting a favorable result isn’t up to sheer luck in some fashion, avoiding pissing off the wrong person, or simply not being a dumbass. The solution is obvious if you take the time to think about the information given to you (and I very much like the fact that you have to think about it a bit).

Infirmary [VLR]: Listen, it’s just really funny when Tenmyouji jokes that AED stands for Adult Erotic Doctor. Can you really blame me for wanting to give this one a mention?

Pantry [VLR]: I just think it’s absolutely hilarious that Sigma and Alice constantly make fun of Clover for slipping up and thinking that the room was labeled the “Panty”. It’s pretty great, and also one of the relatively few times that Sigma and Alice actually get along really well. Also, the waaaaarm drawer exists in it and I think that’s just beautiful.

Q room [VLR]: It’s the room that ultimately leads to the answering of just about every question that (almost) everyone trapped on Rhizome 9 has wanted the answer to. The immediate aftermath both piques your curiosity and tugs at your heartstrings. The fact that every puzzle in the room (aside from the very last one) is a somewhat easier version of puzzles you’ve done earlier in the game is also interesting.

2nd Class Cabin [999]: It contains within it the mythical (and much memed) funyarinpa, and I think that’s all that really has to be said on the matter. Well, there’s also some really cute moments where you can clearly see that Akane and Junpei have the hots for each other.

Kitchen [999]: There’s some more flirting on Akane’s behalf (in the form of some dirty humor) directed to Junpei when you examine one of the items and it’s strangely adorable (especially because one could easily believe at that point in the game that Akane’s just naïve) and also funny. There’s also an item referred to as a pork note and every time I see that item name, I end up thinking of some kind of weird pork-related version of a Death Note.

#ask meme response #anarchyengaiged #ooc

3 notes · View notes

vespiiqueen · 4 years

Note

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

#admin ace #admin ace speaks #communistvriska #inbox tag #homestuck #warrior cats #harry potter #pokemon #legend of zelda

5 notes · View notes

dxitydoo · 4 years

Text

So... the iPhone SE...

Alright this one is gonna be a long one so scroll on past if you’re not interested. If you are, then buckle up because here’s a multi-part essay about my opinions on the new SE.

For anyone that saw my post about getting a new phone and wondered what phone I got, I got the new iPhone SE (yes, I’m an Apple person. Don’t come for me).

At first, I was seeing videos of people getting excited over the phone but now, as time has gone on, those same people are now making videos criticising the phone.

Admittedly, they have some good points to bring up. The battery of the new SE is not amazing. It doesn’t outlast my dad’s XR which is somewhat annoying to say the least.

My counter-argument to that is that it lasted a whole day of me playing games on full brightness in the sunlight and didn’t die on me once which is honestly incredible after the last phone i had but anywho we’ll discuss this later.

My problem with a lot of those videos is that I feel like they’re getting the wrong end of the stick about what the SE is trying to be and they’re comparing it to the wrong phones.

The Original SE

The original SE’s main selling point (seriously why did Apple name them like this this is confusing) was that it had the newer internals of the 6S (so the faster processor, the better camera, etc) in the smaller body of the older 5S.

That was why I, and a lot of others I’m sure, liked it. Because it was a newer phone but in a size I preferred.

It also didn’t break the bank.

The old SE was praised for combining new and old in a way that complimented the old form-factor and rejuvenated in while also allowing people to access the newer features that were coming out in updates. At the time of writing this (27/04/2020), the old SE still supports new iOS updates and runs iOS 13 with minimal hiccups (not counting the fact that iOS 13 isn’t the most bug-free of updates).

But now, in 2020, the new SE is released and people are criticising it for the same thing they praised it for back in the day. They’re complaining that it has Touch ID, that it doesn’t have a edge-to-edge display, that it’s small, that the battery isn’t good, that the camera doesn’t stack up.

Look.

Everyone is free to have their own opinion. If you don’t like the SE, that’s fine. You don’t have to. No one is forcing you to. Just keep scrolling coz I do like the SE and I’m about to defend it til I run out of breath.

The “Old” Body

The SE combines old and new. That’s it’s schtick, that’s its gimmick. It was the thing for the 2016 SE, its the same for the 2020 SE. Although I would’ve loved to see an SE with an edge-to-edge display like any of the X or the 11 range, I’m not super surprised it hasn’t happened.

In fact, the small changes they have made, such as all colours now coming with a black bevel (and the better colour matching between the bevel and the screen), make it look really high-quality and beautiful honestly.

It has the same body as the 6, yes, but it doesn’t look like the 6 because of that colour-matching. And I appreciate that.

Oh! And the back being the non-metallic colour? God that’s sexy. The back is more reminiscent of the 11 (or the XR, I suppose, depending on what colour you got) than the 6 or 7. So it’s not unchanged?

Touch ID and Haptic Touch

Again, a controversial topic. The Touch ID in the SE is like the 3rd Gen or something?? I don’t actually know. But it’s several generations in at this point and it shows.

I came from the original SE, which had one of the first ever generations of Touch ID (if not the first) and the speed with which this new phone unlocks is incredible compared to the older model.

I tap the button once and the phone unlocks instantly. That is it.

Maybe it’s cumbersome to have Touch ID back again after all this time but if you’ve come from a Touch ID phone, especially one of the older models (which really... I think that’s probably the intended audience), it’s a big improvement.

And look no further for someone who was viscerally against the fake button Haptic Touch thing.

I hated the idea of it. My view was I either wanted the real button or no button at all. Full stop. End of story. You’d never change my mind.

Yeah... the new SE changed my mind.

I have the haptics turned up to the highest setting and it actually feels like a real button. Its less spongy than a real button, of course, and feels stiffer (kinda? Maybe just shallower) but its actually a really satisfying feature.

I remember first trying the fake button on the 7 and it vibrated at the wrong time or you’d try to press it to do one thing and it’d do another. It was confusing and made it very difficult to use.

I will say now I haven’t actually tried using an 8 so I can’t pass judgement on that but i like the SE.

And the Haptic Touch is really really nice.

I never thought I’d have a phone that has built-in rumble when playing games but here we are. This is the future.

Aside from being kinda nifty to feel the vibration in your hands when something happens on-screen, the Haptic Touch vibrates under your finger when interacting with the rotating dials to set timers or reblogging posts on tumblr. It’s a weird experience but not an unpleasant one and I like it way more than I was expecting to.

The Small Size

As for the size?

I really like it.

It’s big enough that it feels like a step-up from my old phone but not so big that I’m struggling to hold it (*cough cough* the XR *cough cough*).

Okay so my touch-typing is suffering a wee bit at the moment but tbh I started to struggle on my old phone before I upgraded coz the screen was just a little too small so it’s more a me thing than an it thing. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

The camera.

I feel the need to mention that my last phone was the 2016 SE so, maybe it’s because my standards are really low, or maybe I’ve never owned an 11 and, therefore, have no comparison for it that way? But I don’t think the camera is bad.

In fact, I would even go so far as to say the camera is really fricking good.

After using a phone with a front-facing camera that could barely shoot 480p, stepping up to 1080p on the front is Wild™. The difference between this new camera and the old one is incredible.

If you want a camera that shoots good quality photos, has good colour balance, can actually show the sky as blue when shooting through a window (yes this is how low my expectations are), then omg this phone is incredible.

Obviously, its never gonna beat the 11 with its two cameras and its not gonna be able to contend with the 11 Pro series with their three cameras but hey, the phone is like half the price so??

The Battery

Okay, so lets talk about the battery.

I know this is a bit of a sore spot with people because iPhones recently have been coming out with bigger and better batteries every year.

I did a quick check through and, according to Apple, the battery life is about the same as both the 7 and the 8, which makes sense as they all share the same body. Unfortunately, that means that its probably a size issue. As in, thats the longest a battery of that size can last in a phone. Which is kinda annoying.

But, this is a post about my experience with the SE and I haven’t ever owned a 7 or an 8. My mum owned a 7 and the battery on that was god-awful and I’ve had a much better experience with my SE than she did.

First of all: some context.

Again, a friendly reminder my last phone was a four year old SE. It was a 64GB one as well, so you know I’m being legit (they stopped selling the 64GB (in the UK at least) about a year after the phone’s initial release).

So the battery on my old phone was absolutely fine. At first. As time went on and the phone got older, it did, unfortunately, begin to struggle.

As a reference, a few months before I replaced it (given lockdown doesn’t give the most accurate overview of what it was like to use on a day-to-day basis), it wouldn’t make it through a day at school without dying at least once, sometimes twice.

I had to carry a portable charger with me everywhere I went.

I left my house when it was on 100% and, by the time I got to school after an hour on the bus, it would be on 60-70% on a good day.

Letting your battery die everyday is really not good for it but, try as I might, I couldn’t stop it from happening.

I tell you this to let you know that my criteria for a good battery is literally just “lasts me through the day”.

I’ve had my new phone for about three days now and it hasn’t died on me once.

I played games on it in bright sunlight with the phone on full brightness for several hours straight yesterday and yet it still lasted me through the day and then some. After being off charge for 11 hours, it just about hit 20% before I put it on charge.

Today, I was on social media: tumblr, instagram, youtube, for the majority of today. Both tumblr and instagram had an uncanny ability to completely decimate the battery life of my old phone. They could reduce it from 50% to 40% after 5 minutes. But, again, no problemo for my new phone.

It got to about 50% today before I put it back on charge to go have dinner.

I’d say that lasts through the day quite nicely.

Especially given it’s getting a lot more use than it would normally because a) I’m stuck inside with nothing to do and b) shiny new phone!!!

But I digress.

So, Why Does The SE Exist?

I’m gonna be real. I don’t think the iPhone SE (2020) is trying to be anything fancy. It’s not trying to be the next iPhone 11, it’s not trying to replace the XR. If anything, it’s replacing the 8.

I don’t think the SE is a bad phone. It does everything it says it does and it does it well.

I think the YouTube reviewers have it slightly wrong. I don’t think they should be comparing the SE to the 11 or the XR because, realistically, the people who own those phones aren’t gonna be buying the SE for themselves.

The people who are gonna be buying the SE are the people who have the 5s or the old SE or the 6s or even maybe the 7. (I’m not sure how noticeable the jump would be from 8 to SE, given they have very similar specs).

They’re the kind of people who want a new phone but don’t have the money to go for the more expensive XR or 11 range.

Or maybe they don’t want a giant phone because idk bout you but I have small hands and the XR is both large and heavy and that’s not practical. Plus, the XR with women’s jeans? Really? Not happening.

So, while I understand why reviewers are comparing the SE to the 11s or the XR—because the SE has the internals of those two and is closer to them in terms of release date—I don’t think it’s actually realistic.

TL;DR

YouTube reviewers are comparing the SE to the recent phones when they should be comparing it to the older ones, which is the more likely transition. The iPhone SE has a lot more going for it than people say and I really like it.

#long post #iphone SE #the new iphone #i have opinions #kinda a rant #apple #ios #apple ain’t perfect but the iphone SE is a decent phone #funny how i made that same argument bout the 2016 SE too #huh #makes ya think

4 notes · View notes

doctorguilty · 4 years

Text

ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation” opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first.

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either.

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing.

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!!

anyway but enough of that au

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know?

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise!

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that!

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game?

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!!

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like YESSSSSSS tails looks really great!

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted!

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss!

#seth speaks

6 notes · View notes

out-of-this-dimension · 4 years

Note

Hi there. I was wondering if I could ask you a question concerning the future of the Starfox game series. Now that Starfox Zero over and done with, I wanted to ask you on your opinion on the game itself. Did you like the game? (That is if you've played it) If not, what should be done to truly revamped the series? (As in, what kind of Starfox game would you like to have seen?)

I’m actually glad you asked! I am planning on doing a series of reviews for each game (I have a review written up mostly for SNES Star Fox right now) and I have a post in my drafts that kind of outlines some interesting ideas I think would be good for the SF series. I won’t go into as much detail as those posts will, but I’ll hit some of the main points.

1. My opinion on Star Fox Zero – I actually had it preordered and bought a Wii U for the sole purposes of playing the game so yep, def played through it a couple of times! I honestly give it a pretty low score and I find it to be the least enjoyable game of the series in terms of pure gameplay. I am not a fan of the gyrocontrols in the way they were implemented and I feel like the controls hampered the fun of the gameplay. I know some people liked them but I think it’s pretty telling when there’s a huge outcry against the controls and there’s not even a way to turn them off. Sometimes motion controls like that can work as with games like Splatoon or even RingFit Adventure but I feel like on an on-rail game where you have to look between two screens, it just becomes a bit much. But honestly, I could’ve been fine with the game if the motion controls were the only real problem the game had. For a game priced at $60, it was despairingly low on content with no multiplayer option at all (and an online versus mode would’ve been so cool!), so it felt more or less like a lesser version of Star Fox 64. Characterization and aesthetics were on point but the fact that it didn’t expand the plot at all or go into more depth made me feel kinda icky, especially since we were teased a more cinematic experience and Battle Begins definitely teased a more involved plot. I feel like there were some cinematic moments but ultimately there was no real delivery of what was promised, so overall, the game just felt really… blah. And when I went back to replay some of the levels, I realized that I didn’t even really enjoy most of them. I liked the on-rail ones and that was.. basically it. Some of the boss fights felt too long and tedious for tedious-ness sake. But that’s a whole other rant for another day. That being said, I really fought to like the game, I honest-to-god did. I was even one of the stalwart fans of the motion controls at first. But really, after maybe two weeks of playing the game, I kinda realized that it was not even near my expectations at all and not in a good way.

2. What should have been done to revamp the series – Unpopular opinion– I don’t think that the series needed to be revamped. It could’ve just continued and people would’ve forgotten their Command outrage and all of that. I remember when Zero was announced (it was the first or second E3 I really watched all the way) that there were some mixed reactions to a retelling of Star Fox 64. Some people were ecstatic. Some people were not. I was kinda in the middle where I liked the idea of remaster but I didn’t like the implications of nulling Adventures, Assault, and Command because I did legit enjoy those games.

I honestly think what they could’ve/should’ve done was just carry on after Assault and make a game that takes place before Command or heck, pick one of the more sensible, series-continuing endings to Command and just roll with it. People say Command was a “series-ender” but… I utterly fail to see that, especially with endings like the one where the team is back together but Amanda is now present on the team. There were some really, really easy endings to pick up from that could’ve continued into a game that would’ve progressed the overall story.

A lot of the fans were kinda happy with how Assault felt like the natural progression from Star Fox 64 in terms of gameplay. A lot of people also enjoyed the darker plot– I don’t necessarily think Nintendo should go any darker than Assault was by any means. I kind of have a tinfoil hat theory that Assault’s plot isn’t as good as people think it is, they just liked a Star Fox setting with a scenario that wasn’t Lylat Wars, but again, tinfoil hat theory. I recognize Assault has its problems but I think it’s a good step in the direction the series feels like it should go in terms of gameplay, if that makes any sense at all.

3. A Star Fox game I’d like to have seen -- That being said, I’d probably make a game with similar gameplay as Assault but with less mission-by-mission gameplay. I’d have an adventure mode where the player could go out into an open world setting (even if it’s just a cluster of planets rather than the entire Lylat System) and he could do small mini quests to get upgrades or even do some sidequests that unlock some other gear or maybe lore. This would be between missions, giving the player a chance to breathe and enjoy the setting a bit more. I’d make the game longer, with more cutscenes and a story that would be around the same level of convolution as Assault. Missions would be longer, with checkpoints, and there would be a lot more of them. I like the RPG aspect of being able to choose different missions, so I’d def keep that along with SF64′s concept of a “true ending” that could be unlocked. There would be on-foot, Arwing, Landmaster, and Blue Marine missions, with some being on-rails and some being all-ranged mode just depending on the mission because variety is the spice of life. I would change Assault’s on-foot gameplay style to be a bit more similar to Adventures– less static feeling and more fluid. I’d also have skill trees for various characters you could play as because I like playing as different characters and skill trees are my jam tbh. I liked the skill trees in Starlink specifically.

As far as a plot goes, and I know Dash Bowman as the new Emperor of Venom is a super easy plot to do and could have oodles and oodles of SF64/Zero/SNES SF throwback references… I’d actually go with a different threat entirely, with Dash being a background threat that slowly comes to light by the game’s end, which would signal for a sequel. I don’t know what this threat would be– maybe some sort of secret organization or outside-of-Lylat invaders.

That’s… what I would like to see, tbh, because I do think the series needs to expand its gameplay to keep up with modern gaming times (if Nintendo wants the series to be successful– I just don’t think standard on-rail shooting is enough to satisfy consumers anymore except a niche group) but that’s another post I have planned so stay tuned for that sometime soon.

#Star Fox #Starfox #Star Fox Zero #long post #heartbreaker436

2 notes · View notes

lifeofnickripley · 5 years

Text

Game of Thrones: Fav characters and characters I dislike

(Long post) Kay so, today is the premiere of the final season, guess I'll do my top Ten favorite characters(it is pretty much my favorite show of all time). Show only since I have yet to read the books. If you wonder my opinion on any character not mentioned I either forgot to mention them or I didn't think they really earned a spot on the lists. Yes I do censor things in this a bit buuut I want my web comic to have a wider audience so yea, deal with it. (SPOILER WARNING, at this point, if ur not caught up tho, you have only yourself to blame) Liked Honorable mentions: - Melisandre - before I found out bout the necklace, I had the HUGEST crush on her. She's evil, yes, but she adds a sense of wonder and magic to the show, so I still like her character (other than that necklace scene obviously). Plus Jon wouldn't be back if it weren't for her so haters gonna hate. - Bronn- if he doesn't get his damn castle...lol I doubt I need to say why this wise cracking sword for hire is a favorite, I think most people love him. - Yara Greyjoy - Badass pirate/Viking chick on the high seas? Hell yeah! Plus I love Greyjoy armor, I don't doubt Euron will probably kill her though. - Oberyn Martell - Awesome character, the Red Viper was fierce with a spear and even moreso with his attitude. Unfortunately his pride wound up being his undoing in the end, arguably one of the most effective deaths in the series. - Tormund Giantsbane - How can you not love this absolute bro? I don't even like Brienne and I ship them. Geniune badass. - Jorah Mormont - Lord of the Friend zone, his loyalty makes him one of my favs, not top ten tier though - Petyr Baelish: The events of Game of Thrones wouldn't have happened without this slimy bastard. He was smart and cunning (which made him fun to watch) and though his death was cool, the build up was kind of weak (weird Sansa/Arya storyline) Favorite characters: 10.) Ned Stark - Everyone's original favorite character, his death cemented that GOT wasn't f*ckin around. I mean, damn, still a brutal death scene to watch to this day. Props to Sean Bean for making his so awesome. He was honorable to a fault in a dishonorable world. 9.) Ramsey Bolton - Kay, so I might get some flack for this one, but he was a great bad guy. I mean he was legit terrifying and despicable! Made the Battle of the Bastards have an entirely different level of intensity than most of the battle scenes. Dude was an absolute monster, but unlike another widely disliked villain, this psycho got his own hands dirty instead of beckoning others to. His death scene was poetic but I kinda wanted it to be gorier. (I'm an edgelord though) 8.)Jon Snow - Awesome character, obviously I dig him, so why so low on the list? Honestly, there's characters I like more. But he's still really cool, definitely has the best fight scenes of any of the characters. WE BETTER SEE GHOST THIS SEASON THOUGH!! Lol things are gonna be hella awkward when he finds out Dany is his aunt, yet we still root for them as a couple...that's wincest for you hurr hurr hurr hurr (sorry) I could see him living in the end cus tbh killing him again would be repetitive BS. 7.)Tywin Lannister - Kay...so he died on the sh*tter (imo probably the worst place to die) AND he was an absolute d*ck to Tyrion...but dude, he was awesome. He literally has a song about him in the world of GOT that is used as a warning to others to not f*ck with him!! He took a house that was laughed at and turned it into one of the most feared houses in all of Westeros. That is pretty frickin cool. 6.) Cersei Lannister - Another one I'll get flack for but whatever lol She's cool! So what she shags her brother and is an awful human being? She's a badass! Did you SEE how she blew up all of her enemies in the court and solidified her queen status in one fell swoop? That was dope!! She's vile but very entertaining to watch. RIP the Tyrells. Probably gonna get choked out though by her brother like Maggie the frog predicted. (By my second favorite character no less) 5.) Daenerys Targaryen - Dany! One of my cats is named after her! I love this character. The dragons are amazing, she's cute, she's powerful, maybe a little insane cus of Targaryen madness, and she's overcome some amazing odds. Her storylines could be a little meh in the grand scheme of things but Emilia Clarke's portrayal has made a character that we really root for. I suspect she'll die personally by the Night King buuuuut we'll see. 4.)Tyrion Lannister -Tyrion's writing has gone down a bit in recent seasons but still, most people's favorite Lannister. His quick wit and resilience make him a solidified favorite. Still seems like the person you'd most wanna drink with. I'd be pretty damn surprised if he bit the dust. 3.) Arya Stark - My other cat is named after her and there's a good reason why, SHE'S BASICALLY BECOME A FREAKING FACE STEALING NINJA!!! She was always likeable and I think I've enjoyed almost every storyline she's been a part of (excluding her main one last season) Maisie Williams is a great actress and I hope to see more of her in the future. I doubt Arya will die, but based on that one trailer, things do seem rather bleak for her. Who knows...maybe GRRM wants a divorce... 2.) Jaime Lannister - Yes. This dude is my favorite Lannister. In case you couldn't tell, Lannister is my favorite house. He's really had the best redemption arc in the series. He went from a character I disliked to my second favorite. I predict he will be the one to kill his sister, what happens to him after that, idk. It'll be awkward when he meets Bran again though... 1.) The Hound (Sandor Clegane) - CLEGANEBOWL BETTER HAPPEN!! Kay so... admittedly I screamed like a little freaking girl when this character came back. He... HE'S JUST SO FREAKING COOL!! Admittedly being a 6 footer and a rather grumpy individual, I probably relate to him more than I'd like to admit. Probably will die, but as long as he fights his brother, I'll be a very happy edgelord. Characters I dislike: 10.) Sansa Stark - Kay so I just...I dislike her, I never liked her. I feel sorry for her, sure. She's gotten better over time, sure. I still see her as very entitled and kinda whiny/bratty. She'll probably die. If not I won't be disappointed, still though, not a fan of Sansa. It was cool how she killed Ramsey, tho again, do wish the scene was gorier. 9.) Robb Stark - Ned Stark 2.0 but way less cool. Nuff said. I was okay with his death in the Red Wedding. Shouldn't have made a promise you weren't gonna commit to. Even if Walder Frey is a d*ck. 8.) Catelyn Stark - She was just such a jerk to Jon Snow and Tyrion, seriously. Even moreso in the books from what I have read of them. She got on my nerves. Honestly, I don't feel like Lady Stoneheart would've added much in terms of storyline. 7.) Brienne of Tarth: I find her annoying. Sure, her fight with the hound was FREAKING COOL, but she's kinda too self righteous for her own good. Duty is her thing and all but she is really not good at holding up to her vows. Still ship her and Tormund though. 6.) Theon Greyjoy - hated this dude, then felt sorry for him, now I roll my eyes at him. Honestly, Greyjoys other than Yara are pretty meh characters. Good for him finally regaining figurative cajones. Doubt he'll save his sister though, or survive the White Walkers for that matter. 5.) Euron Greyjoy - this one is a shame cus I hear the book character is amazing. Feels like a pretty generic bad guy of the week type for a show with outstanding villains. Funny like here or there, but kinda a weak character overall. Theon will probably kill him, though I'd love to see a twist where he kills Theon. 4.) Walder Frey - Old dude that got what was coming to him, props to the guy who plays Filch, portrayed two characters who were absolutely despicable. I doubt I really have to list the ways this cowardly character was despicable. Awesome death scene though. Winter came for House Frey. 3.) Shae - Grrrr. The actual actress I feel very sorry for cus I've heard her story, but man this character. Dumb but smart enough to screw over Tyrion. For personal reasons, I really hate this character, reminds me of people I've known. 2.) Tommen and Myrcella Baratheon - Most. Useless. Lannisters. Ever. I'm a Lannister fan so you could see why I roll my eyes so hard with these two. Tommen rolled over so hard you might as well have called him a wheel. And Myrcella was just kinda there, admittedly sad to watch her death scene though (pretty much moreso because it was the only time Jaime was really able to connect with his daughter) 1.) Joffrey Baratheon - Everyone probably saw this coming. Joffrey is that kid on the playground that'd hit you, you'd hit back, they'd start crying and get you in trouble. Everybody knew that kid, I think that's why everyone hates this character so. But man, his death scene was soooo satisfying. Props to the Jack Gleason for making him so horrible. There ya have it. My opinions on GOT characters. Freaking excited for tonight's premiere!! WINTER IS HERE!!

#Game of thrones #favorite #characters #Arya #the hound #Jon Snow #Daenerys #Cersei #Lannister #Jaime #Tyrion #Stark #Targaryen #Winterfell #Ramsey Bolton #Sansa #Robb

2 notes · View notes

sujus-girl · 6 years

Text

Disclaimer: This is just for fun, so please don’t take it too seriously. This is not an official profile or anything like that!

A GUIDE TO PENTAGON

I actually had a lot of fun making my guide to JBJ, so I was like?? What other group do I love that doesn’t get the attention they deserve? …. PENTAGON

Are y’all ready to cringe? To sigh? To question what is going on with these children? Then, without further ado, I present to you: Pentagon: My Shitty Guide to 10 Toddlers

Group Name: Pentagon

First appeared on a show called Pentagon Maker, which was called a survival show, but SPOILER ALERT: Cube decided to do the right thing and debuted all 10 members together

If I’m going to be 100% honest, I still dk where to find the full episodes, but there are a ton of clips on youtube, and, honestly, I was satisfied with just watching those

ALL OF THEM HAVE REALLY GOOD VISUALS? LIKE, I SAY THIS WITH EVERY GROUP, BUT SERIOUSLY, PENTAGON HAS SOME A+++ VISUALS

Beware because they’re very. Very. very. Loud

The fandom name is universe and i just think that’s so cute OKAY?

Ofiicial Music Videos: Gorilla, Can You Feel It, Critical Beauty, Pretty Pretty, Run Away, Like This, Violet

Personal Favorite Non-Title Tracks: Thank You, Beautiful, You Are, Spectacular, and Lose yourself

Aight, we have ten members to go through this time, so BUCKLE UP, MY FRIENDS

Members:

Jo Jinho

The oldest member of pentagon

Vvv smol baby. Is only 5’6”

Is scared very easily lmfao

May be smol but has A HELLA SET OF LUNGS

High note king that leaves almost everyone shook

Used to be in SM the Ballad, but left and became a trainee again under cube entertainment

Had trained for EIGHT FRICKIN YEARS, DO NOT SLEEP ON MY BOI

I guess he gave vocal lessons to cube trainees like Yoo Seonho (someone pls KINDLY let me know if i’m wrong)

Drops a bunch of covers and spoils Universe with his voice, thx boo

Usually gets paired with hongseok for stuff?? Idk

Has a room by himself in the dorms, lucky boi

ALSO A MUSICAL THEATER ACTOR?? ALL SHOOK UP REALLY HAD US ALL SHOOK UP

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Lee HwiTaek (Hui)

The leader of this mess

Got pretty popular after the song Never was released, then continue to leave people quaking after Energetic was released

Is an A+ Singer and Producer, we love a talented man

Is vvvv scared of everything and also has a lot of tears (we love a man in touch with his emotions)

A former JYP trainee

Got7’s JB said that one time, Got7’s Mark got into a fight with him, Hui, and B.A.P.’s Youngjae and Day6’s Brian had to translate the argument LOL

Also in a subunit called Triple H that consists of him, E’Dawn and Hyuna

Also has a room to himself

HONEY SOCKS

Has a fanboy named Yoo Seonho that loves him vvv much, and they even went to vietnam together

also appeared on this variety show called hyena’s on the keys and flaunted his composing SKILZ

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Yang Hongseok

A former YG trainee

Was on the show that created iKon, and it was…. Oof

He was new at the time, so it was kinda awkward and tense, but it got better

Is obsessed with working out, and has the abs of a greek god as a result

Reads books in his free time, and enjoys studying foreign languages

He moved around when he was younger, so he can speak Mandarin and English (we love an intelligent man)

Apparently the mom?? Cooks and cleans for the babies in the dorm

Shares a room with E’Dawn

Also really likes Iron Man… and Jinho

The members say he’s the worst at dancing in the group LOL

It’s okay though, cause he’s vvv talented in other aspects

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Kim HyoJung (E’Dawn)

“I have no fear” not even two seconds later *HIGH PITCH SCREAMING*

Can reach an octave i didn’t think human possible

A little weird, but that’s okay!

Is also in Triple H with Hui and Hyuna

Hongseok’s roommate

Is really good at dancing, wow

Kinda looks tired 24/7, but we’re pretty sure that’s just his face. Like you know how some people have resting bitch face? E’Dawn has resting tired face.

TATTOOS!

Sry, i just really like tattoos, lol

But yeah! E’Dawn has multiple tattoos! Since it’s like 1 in the morning and I’m kinda tired, I’m not gonna try and think of all of them, but they should all show up if you just google e’dawn tattoos lol sorry

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Go Shinwon

Has trouble keeping his clothes on apparently

Like for real, just casually pulled his pants down and took his shirt off multiple times in pentagon maker

Is scared of animals because one time because… um…. let’s just say that there was an unfortunate incident with his pet hamster when he was in like middle school... yeah

Was eliminated during Pentagon maker, but four remaining members broke into cube late at night and put up posters saying they wanted pentagon to debut as ten

Gets mad real easily

Has broad shoulders… Like real broad. Edawn and yanan fell asleep on his shoulders and they were comfortable

Shares a room with Kino

Also really likes Mcdonalds?? Like, this boy put on a burger hat and ate a mcdonalds burger.

Really hates bugs LOL

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Yeo Changgu (Yeo One)

Has a visual that a lot of foreigners seem to really like? That’s just something I noticed, I know it’s not the general consensus

Is also an actor, he appeared in a webdrama called Spark and was the main actor for a historical drama not too long ago

Shares a room with yanan

Is yanan’s biggest fan

Has a laugh that can revive wilting flowers tbh

Talks a lot too

Sucks at table tennis

He and hui put ducktape on their legs and ripped it off

GIVE HIM MORE LINES PLS

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Yan An

“MADE IN CHINA!”

“Annyeong chingudel”

He’s from Shanghai

Hella model vibes, amirite or amirite

He injured himself when preparing for the Ceremony album, and he had to sit out and everyone was vvv sad and vvv worried

Got better and is back, and more random than ever

Sometimes says things that are real funny, even if he doesn’t intend for it to be

“What are you talking about, this is plastic”

“You… You’re in big trouble!”

“Korean name is Yanan. Chinese name is Yanan. English Name? Yanan.”

Also once called Jinho a foreigner, even tho Jinho is Korean and they were in Korea?

May be tol and handsome, but he’s really just a big toddler

Scared of roller coasters

Roommates with yeo one who loves him v much (yeo one has the right idea, y’all)

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Adachi Yuto

“YUTODA”

A japanese prince

AN ATHLETE! Played baseball and used to do soccer

A former JYP trainee

Good friends with Yuto (U) from ONF because they both used to be JYP trainees and also NCT’s Yuta

Shares a room with Wooseok and will laugh at anything he says

Milk couple

Can’t eat spicy food for shit

Hella tall

Also appeared predebut at ISAC 2015 for futsall

A bby that is afraid of many things. Especially the dark. On pentagon maker, the crew turned off the lights and he real cutely went “pd-nim~” and i almost cried it was so cute

“What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” “Ice cream.”

Says he can’t do aegyo, but he hella cute already, so it’s okay

Also once danced shirtless and i almost sued, you a child Boi (i say as I am younger than him)

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Kang Hyunggu (Kino)

A whole cutie

I legit that he was my age or younger cause he was just so adorable

Only 4 days younger than yuto and 4 days older than wooseok, but he a whole baby

They did a vlive for wooseok, yuto, and kino’s birthdays and when they were getting into teams, hongseok was chosen to be in kino’s team but he said it so emotionlessly that kino got all pouty LOL

A dancing king

“I was going to go easy on you, but you called me Hyunggu”

Has a lot of friends in k-pop, he vvv popular

Shares a room with shinwon

A laugh that motivates me to be a better person

Saved the entire world by eating watermelon in front of cameras BLESS

“Get it Kino Beauty”

Proceeded to destroy yanan’s face with makeup RIP

Makes funny faces that i sometimes screenshot and send to my friends at 2 in the morning

ALSOALSOALSO, he had this little dance solo in Critical Beauty and I was LIVING for it

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Jung Wooseok

The baby of the group

HELLA TOL??? LIKE WTF, IF YOU LOOK AT PHOTOS OF JINHO AND WOOSEOK STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER HE LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING GIRAFFE

He was sleeping backstage once and yuto put a chocopie in front of his mouth and he sleepily tried to eat it and i was :((((( he was so cute

Really likes yuto, they’re usually paired together for stuff. Like dorms

Really likes anime, legend has it that if you play samurai heart at exactly 1:23 AM, wooseok will appear behind you and sing along

Imitates an opera singer and achieves an octave that i would imagine isn’t humanly possible for someone with a voice as deep as his

Has a fanboy names Lai Guanlin from wanna one, and he will not let anyone forget about his precious Wooseok

Once did an eating broadcast with super spicy food and accidentally got some in his eye and the rest of pentagon thought it was the funniest thing ever RIP

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

That was a journey! We’re almost done, though!

Videos Of Pentagon to Watch! Weekly Idol with Victon and Momoland! (X) This crack (?) series that I live for (X) The VLive that was all sorts of mess (X) Triple H Weekly Idol (only Hui and E’Dawn) (X) This clip from Pentagon Maker that was all sorts of mess, even with only 4 members (X) Hui, Wooseok, and E’Dawn trying to cook (X) This other VLive that was all sorts of mess (X) Pentagon Heyo TV (Mafia Game Cut) (X)

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! A VERY SHORT, SHITTY GUIDE TO PENTAGON! I hope this helps anyone wanting to get into Pentagon, or even just makes an Universe smile! Now go and bask in the glory that is Pentagon’s craziness! Bye!

#pentagon #jo jinho #lee hwitaek #hui #kim hyojung #e'dawn #yang hongseok #yeo changgu #yeo one #yanan #adachi yuto #kino #kang hyunggu #jung wooseok #triple h #cube #mine

377 notes · View notes

calliecat93 · 3 years

Text

ST: TNG S5 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9

The Game: Alright, took a few days off but it’s back to business now! In this episode, Wesley is back on break. Gonna be honest, the show was pretty much unaffected by Wesley going so haven’t really missed him much, so I was indifferent to him coming back. But how did his guest star episode go overall? Eh, it was alright. So Riker got brainwashed via the titular game device on Risa (Dear Lord that place must be cursed) and he does the same to the crew upon returning. So yeah… we have a ‘Wesley Saves Everyone’ plot, albeit I can forgive it since it would be kinda pointless to bring him back and not be major and the brainwashing plot gives a good reason. It does a good job making me paranoid of video games cause haha… yeah the brainwashing process just from that is wild. They don’t even act brainwashed, which makes it even scarier. Wesley and the Ashley Judd character have some good chemistry, although I doubt it’s gonna ever come up again in Wesley’s other appearances. It is irking that while they did have an excuse for it this time we had to make everyone out of it so that Wesley can play hero and is still overly competent, but to be fair he DID still get caught at the end of an admittedly tense chase scene and he had to get Data back up (he got taken out since the game otherwise wouldn’t have affected him) to save everyone. Which the crew forcing the game on Wesley… that was legit horrifying. It was a fine episode, if you’re a fan of Wesley it’s one that I recommend… but as I’ve made it clear that I’m not, I’m just meh about it. But because of the scenario they used, it’s very much Wesley’s best episode, but we’ll see how his other guest appearances go. 3.5/5.

Unification P1: While this isn’t a final two-parter, I’m still gonna do an overall rating and that will be the one I use if this makes it onto the Best/Worst of S5 list. So… I have been so excited for this one! Why? Well in this episode, an ambassador has gone missing on Romulus… Spock. Yep, you read it right. Spock is back! Why has he gone to Romulus and did so without authorization likely knowing what would happen if Starfleet found out? Well, we’ll go into that later. But because of it, he’s been marked a traitor and Picard has been given the unfortunate duty of informing Sarek. Which if you recall in Sarek’s episode, he melded with Picard so… let’s just say that Picard has a stronger understanding of things than normal. But it gets worst. Sarek is dying. Yep, his condition has taken its toll and indeed, he dies in this episode and never sees Spock again. The whole scene when Picard goes to talk to him is just… Dear Lord that was just agonizing to watch. I know that technically he had The Undiscovered Country as his final appearance, but this would be Mark Lenard’s final go in a series and he did an amazing job. It’s so clear how much regret, pain, and love towards Spock that he had and the fact that they weren’t unable to reconcile in the end is just heartbreaking. Hell just seeing him in the state that he was in at that point was hard to watch. Picard talking to Data about it when Data questions why they never reconciled… well they kinda did during the films but eh. Still, a very sad moment but one executed very well. We’ll go more into Sarek and Spock for Part 2. Back on the plot, Picard and Data go undercover on Romulus ala Kirk during The Enterprise Incident only he only had to go on one ship, they have to go onto a whole planet. Actually, there are a good few similarities with that episode. Spock has seemed to go traitor, the captain has to go undercover, and it involves Romulans. Albeit Picard didn’t have to act like he’d gone insane as Kirk did. Thus for the first time, we see the Romulan homeworld… and it doesn’t take long for Picard and Data to get found out… and brought to the figure that they are seeking. This brings us to… oh right first the rating, 4/5.

Unification P2: SPOCK! AAAAAAHHHHH!!! Oh God, I knew that missed him, but I did NOT realize how much until the end of P1. I’m just so happy to see him~! Alright, back to seriousness. So… why is Spock on Romulus? Why did he risk being labeled a traitor by going to the planet of what may be Starfleet’s greatest enemy at the moment? Simple, a mission of peace. As it turns out, not every Romulan is an evil asshole and there is a movement that wishes to reunify with their Vulcan brethren. Hence why Spock is there, a decision that he made on a personal choice to avoid what happened in The Undiscovered Country when he was involved with the Klingon efforts and it landed Kirk and McCoy in prison from happening again. First, Leonard Nimoy is as perfect as ever. Mind you this was apparently being made about the same time as Undiscovered Country so he was already in top form, but still. Spock is very much older, but he carries a lot more wisdom and maturity here since he’s since long come to terms with his issues. Sarek’s about the only snag left, and… we’ll go into that soon. It’s kinda hard to watch because if you’ve seen AOS you know how this is ultimately going to end, so it makes it feel like Spock’s efforts are… kinda pointless. Still, it’s very much Spock would likely do even if he did know how it would end and it’s best to try than do nothing. It can hopefully inspire better things in the future despite what we know happens. The talk between Spock and Data was also really good and Thank God they they pointed out the cardinal difference between them: Spock is half-human who chose the Vulcan way of life, Data is an android who wants to be more human. Also hilarious that Spock says he has no regrets when he outright said that he went to Romulus on his own essentially because of what happened to Kirk and McCoy when he involved Starfleet. Ah Spock, never change~! The ending. Picard allows Spock to meld with him so that he may see his father’s final moments. Which his reaction… yeah it’s… it’s just sad. Spock never got the chance to reconcile… but he did get to see that yes, Sarek loved and respected him. After all those years, he got that closure, and Thank God that he was allowed that. It was good. Not perfect, we’ll go into the snags here in a bit, but just seeing Spock again and him being as great as always made watching it worth it. 4/5.

So overall, it was good! Not perfect, but good! The highlight of course is Spock’s return and allowing closure to him and Sarek at long last. Which those scenes were handled very well and Spock is very much the best part of this episode. But while the episodes revolve around him even when he isn’t in P1, it doesn’t feel like he overshadows anyone. Picard and Data were good and the Spock and Sarek conflict is used to allow some good moments like Picard's history due to the mind meld and Data questioning things like why they didn’t and about wanting to be more human. Not obviously they didn’t know about how the 2009 film would go about when they made this, but the chance for Romulan to reunite with Vulcan and showing that there are Romulans wanting change is really good. Now like I said it’s not perfect. The pacing does drag a bit and honestly, the rest of the Enterprise gets nothing to really do. You could cut most of their stuff and it would barely impact anything, but you can’t just cut them out so… at least they got something to do. Sela comes back… and not only is this apparently her final appearance, but they have her be an utter idiot by locking Spock, Picard, and Data… in a room with a computer with no guards in the room… uuuhhhhh WTF? Y’know had they gone with that ‘brainwashed Tasha’ suggestion that I made I could make sense of it, but again this is Sela’s final appearance so wow, what an utter waste of great character potential. Then finally again knowing that the 2009 movie will essentially make Spock’s efforts null and void… well it sure as Hell makes me even less endeared to the film than I already was. It’s those kinds of snags that stop me from giving it a perfect overall rating. But still, I really enjoyed it~! The plot was interesting, the growing of the Romulan conflict was good, the scenes involving Sarek were very well done, Spock… well I made that clear, and of course, Spock at last getting the closure that he needed was sad, but satisfying to at last have. So while not perfect, it felt like a genuine tribute to Spock and his character, and I can appreciate it for that. 4/5.

A Matter of Time: Oh joy, more time travel. Hooray…So we have a time traveler from the 26th Century arrives on the Enterprise for historical purposes.I thought the guy playing the professor sounded familiar… and it turns out he voiced Panic, Hades blue-colored minion, in Hercules. Welp, THAT was not a voice that I expected to recognize XD So… it was alright. Maybe it’s just because of how hyped about Unification I was, but the episode just kinda caused me to zone out. The actor playing the professor was fun. I don’t wanna give away the big plot twist but long story short,t he professor isn’t who he says he is and Matt Frewer portrays the conman-like attitude very well… though his creepiness towards Crusher is ugh… creepy. But Crusher handles it soundly, hence why I love her. Apparently the episode is supposed to show the darker aspects of the non-interference clause of the. Prime Directive, the professor withholding information that could potentially save a dying planet but he won’t budge. If that is true… then the plot twist kinda ruins that since without giving anything away, it really muddies up the intent.. Like I said, I kinda just zoned out. It was fine, Matt Frewer was the best part of it, but nothing to write home about. 2.5/5.

#st watchthrough

0 notes

greyliliy · 4 years

Text

Paper Mario: The Origami King

I loved Paper Mario: The Origami King. A lot. It's my first Paper Mario game and it is an understatement to say that I adored it. Enough so that I want to write a full review on my thoughts for the entire game. o-o It’s been so long since I’ve felt the need to do that and it feels good. It feels so good. T-T

So let’s do this. :D This is going to be a long one, and I’ll probably put the cut right before I start talking about individual chapters. Hopefully before that there are no major spoilers, but afterwards its’ a free for all discussion. So spoilers will be present! :D

A Brief History of my Relationship With Paper Mario

I saw an Arlo video talking about it when I was randomly browsing videos on his channel (I found him for something else believe or not) and I think that was the first time I even realized this franchise existed. Lol. (Which is funny because I have a Wii U and Paper Mario: Color Splash was like the last big game for that console).

I was curious so I browsed the Paper Mario Reddit and watched his Color Splash reviews and got interested in the series.

I ended starting to watch play throughs of Thousand Year Door (where I am mostly through the game? The players just finished the area where you get Vivian) and Color Splash (where I am halfway through the game maybe?).

My opinion on both games: They both look fine. TYYD has it’s good points. Color Splash has its good points. I feel like I would be irritated by random battles in both of them, no matter the combat methods. Lol.

But honestly I leaned more toward Color Splash because I love the Paper Aesthetic. Good story + Paper Themed World = My jam.

Which means that first Origami King trailer smacked me in the face because it looked like I’d be getting both. I preordered the game as soon as I saw the trailer and it did not disappoint. Lol.

General Stuff

The Good: The characters! I adored all of them. Every character, whether generic minion or unique, was bursting with fun dialogue and moments that made me smile. Olivia was precious. I want an Origami Olly to put in my room (I love him so much) and the Legion of Stationary was surprisingly fleshed out. They were easily my favorite bosses in the game, which was a surprise after all the teasing they got in the trailers. Lol.

Plus: LUIGI. Oh my gosh. He’s amazing in this game. XD

The Music doesn’t need my praise. Everyone has praised the music in this game and it deserves it. Every. Single. Track. Is the greatest and I love this soundtrack. I’m listening to it right now (Where can I buy this Nintendo. TELL ME).

I also really enjoyed the battles. It had a nice blend of Turn Based & Overworld Action, keeping things mixed up and fresh. I wasn’t great at some of the combat (Which I’ll talk about below in the chapter by chapter section) but the game makes stuff easier if you fail too much...which I appreciated. LOL.

Oh. And the Confetti thing. I liked it. Filling holes with confetti was satisfying in a nice completionism way. It was kinda soothing, too, and it was nice to physically repair the world in addition to trying to save it in general.

The Critique: The game needed more time with Olly. I’m not just saying that as someone who loved him, I’m saying it as a story miss. We see Olly at the beginning. And we see him for like two seconds at a time between chapters to half-handedly ask Olivia to join him, and then...the final boss fight. One or two cut-away scenes showing what Olly and Peach were doing between the Streamer Banners would have been great and done wonders for fleshing out the story.

The Combat: Opinions on this have been highly mixed. Specifically, I have noticed a large crowd saying the combat is too easy; they line everything up on the first turn and kill everything on the first turn and then they’re drowning in coins so there’s no point to battle.

And then there’s Me: I rarely got the puzzle right on the first turn, which means I didn't get the bonus coins, and I usually burned through weapons and faster since I didn’t get the “Great Line Up!” on the first turn bonus. So I was...constantly fight enemies for coins (Stuff gets expensive in this game) and using them to get help from the Toads.

So when I got puzzles right on the first turn, I felt super accomplished. Lol. I did eventually get better at them (and used one of the help items from the Battle Toad) and was beating them in one turn 60% of the time. So while I really enjoyed the puzzle turn-based battles, I can see how some would get tired and bored of them.

I think a difficulty setting might fix the wildly different experiences with this. The puzzles get much tricker later, so if you’re solving even those too fast--the game could have given you harder stuff to solve.

Though it is sort of funny. If you do well at puzzles, you get a ton of extra bonus coins. But if you’re good at the puzzles, you don’t need those coins since coins are mostly spent on “Getting help for puzzles.” Which the people who are bad at puzzles need but don’t get...fun times.

Boss battles, however, were mostly scripted and I’ll talk about those in detail in the spoiler section below. XD

The Game

Okay! Let’s get into the meat and talk about each Streamer Section individually. o-o Whoooooooo. I’m glad the Game8 Wiki has a nice layout for me to reference. XD

Prologue

This is when I knew I was going to love the game. Luigi is adorable. Origami Peach is every bit as creepy as the trailer promised. And Olly stealing the castle was great. :D

The Red Streamer

This entire streamer is a tutorial. I can see how that could get irritating if you don’t like Olivia holding you hand (and I have seen many complain about it), but this is the only chapter where she does that.

Which I understand. Every streamer follows the same sort of pattern (explore two or more themed areas to open up a path to a temple, beat a temple, beat a Vellumental, go clear the boss building/area, fight the Stationary Boss). Giving the audience a clear how-to guide to get through an entire Streamer Chapter isn’t the worst.

Plus Olivia is adorable and I used X to talk to her all the time, whether I needed the hint or not. Lol.

Whispering Woods

The mini story with the trees and the the little Toad camp ground are cute. I was surprised that I had to back track here later in the game a few times. XD

Toad Town

The hub world! Here you can find the Museum (which has all the fast travel pipes), the Battle Practice area (which if you visit 3x will give you items to make the Ring battles easier), and the shop (please remember to actually use your membership card you get from here and don’t be like me who paid 24,000 coins in the late game for a collectible when I could have had it HALF OFF but I forgot to equip the membership card).

It also features: A cool Graffiti area I need to visit again because I heard it gets more art as you progress through the game, many Macho Gumbas to beat, the Docks, a Toad that’ll tell you what Power Up Hearts you are missing, more fast travel options, and a great scene with Luigi that kick-starts his sub-story as he hunts for Princess Peach’s Castle Key.

Picnic Road & Overlook Mountain

So many hidden Toads. Everywhere. XD It’s a very lovely area, but again, since this is a tutorial-ish Streamer there isn’t much there aside from enemies to practice fighting and a lot of examples of how Toads hide (including in the ground, in walls, as folded origami, on the other end of small over world puzzles, etc.)

Earth Elemental Temple & Fight

I loved the lead up to this Temple. The fake Koopa one with the small tour boxes was so great. It was funny, cute, and I loved that the fake Temple Tour ended with a real Temple.

The fight was easy (again...tutorial streamer) but I still messed up a few times. Lol. It took me a while to get the hang of the boss rings (and I kid you not, it was like five streamers in before I realized you could move the boss ring panels front and back in addition to rotating the rings).

Olivia turning into a Vellumental was a huge surprise. I’m not sure how I feel about it as a whole, but they use her transforming powers the entire game, so it’s thematically appropriate.

Overlook Tower & Colored Pencils

Fighting your way up the tower to get to the boss was fun. I loved the elevator bits & the drawings everywhere (Colored Pencils drew Olly!!!).

It was a very nice introduction to the future “Boss Building before the Fight” that you’ll face in every Streamer.

Also Colored Pencils having a personality was such a delight that I couldn’t help but grin. Legit, the Legion of Stationary are some of my favorite characters and I’m amazing at how much life and personality they shoved into these office supplies.

I’m sad they die afterwards though. T-T

But with the Red Streamer done, the game stops holding your hand and the game really gets going. :P

The Blue Streamer

One word: Bobby.

It’s fun having the second world be your favorite in the game. Lol. But it just hit all the right beats and made a great impact.

Autumn Mountain

Very pretty area. Lets you get to know Bob-omb (aka “Bobby” as Olivia likes to call him) and his personality as you explore a gorgeous, autumn area. Lots of warm colors and great music tracks. It had a few frustrating areas with the stupid falling Chestnuts (oh my gosh how long did it take me to figure out I needed to hit the wall to break it lol), but overall a good area.

Water Vellumental

I cheated on the slide puzzles. I’ll admit it. I paid the coins to have the Temple solve its own puzzles. LOL.

Years of playing Zelda made me terrified of a Water based Temple but it wasn’t that bad aside from the slide puzzles. A very lovely temple with a great design.

The boss fight was one of the easier ones, but I was still getting the hang of figuring out the pathing for boss fights so it took me a while to figure out how to execute the things I wanted to do (I figured out early I had to use Olivia’s Earth Vellumental form to avoid the Water Attack, but I wasn’t so good at lining u the On Button and the Magic Circles to do it lol).

Eddy River

Lord this was annoying. I missed one of the Holes to fill with confetti and that was the moment were I was like “I will never 100% this game” because the thought of going down that river again made me go “No.” XD

Shogun Studios

I loved running around this amusement park. There were puzzles and character interactions everywhere. (So many item trades between NPCs lol) and the Ninja Mansion was fun. Even if I had to do it twice because I missed Luigi the first time around...

Big Sho’ Theatre & Rubber Band

This was amazing.

Riding the up the tower in the audience seats. The captured Toad audience. The paper Macho actors. The different stage plays. Rubber Band yelling in the background before showing up as the Diva they are.

The Rubber Band fight was also a blast. I figured out the trick immediately and had a great time wrecking that boss. XD

It was fun. The Rubber Band Tower & Fight are easily my 2nd favorite Boss Area and Fight in the game.

Sweetpaper Valley to Breezy Tunnel

I know this area is technically part of the Yellow Streamer, but it feels like an interlude section, so I’m putting it in its own section.

I will admit, I had this part of the game spoiled for me. I knew about what happened to Bobby and I was like “Really. The game’s going to go there.”

And it did.

When you get to the Valley, Olly drops a bolder on Olivia and Bobby’s like “I know how to fix this.”

He takes you on an awesome adventure through the Princess Peach Cruise Ship that involves an incredible Macho Battle on the boat and the retrieval of a special item, and then when you get back...

Bob-omb saves Olivia.

The death of Bobby itself wasn’t the sad part. Honestly it was a little funny because the bolder explodes into a bunch of confetti that Mario picks up as he walks through it.

The sad part is Olivia.

When she realizes what happened to Bobby and runs away. Ug. Sitting with her in the dark as she sobs. Her grief. It’s so sad in the best way. And then Bobby! Bobby tells you to cheer her up and man.

That tiny “That’s not fair” she says to Mario when he makes her laugh? That’s the spot that got me teary eyed for the first time in the game.

It’s so good and it solidified this game as an all time favorite. Even if the rest of the game was horrible, it can’t take that scene away.

The Yellow Streamer

The. Music. This area has my favorite music. Every track is such a jazzy, awesome beat and I could hang out in the Snif City Hotel Pool Room all day to listen to that song. XD

Scorching Dessert & Snif City

Driving through the Desert areas felt a little like padding since you had to keep backtracking everywhere, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the Purple Streamer later, so in hindsight it’s less annoying. Lol.

Snif City has a fun design and I loved exploring it, along with the desert area. The Luigi cameo was pretty fun (as was the intentional game over I triggered to see the animation lol).

Professor Toad is a fun partner character, though I will admit I got stuck for a while because I didn’t realize you could use him to dig in spots that weren’t glowing (oops).

Olivia singing to raise the temple was a treat.

The Fire Vellumental

This temple is how I found out the game makes stuff easier if you fail too many times. There was a jumping area where you have to only jump on blocks that light up and I failed so many times it dropped all the blocks you couldn’t jump on. Uh. Oops. XD

The Fire Vellumental has my favorite design. It’s basically Moltres and Olivia looks awesome as a fire bird.

The Temple of Shrooms and Hole Punch

This might be my favorite Stationary Lair & Fight. The temple was great to explore. The Faceless Toads were fun and creepy. And oh my gosh the DJ dance room caught me so off guard I couldn't help but laugh.

Great music. Great Boss.

The fact he wouldn’t come out unless everyone was partying was fantastic. The fight itself was also pretty fun with the guy hole-punching Mario and having to find your pieces on the grid. The Hole Punch’s theme “Disco Devil” is also so good I can’t take it. Who gave a song a right to be that catchy?

I loved every second of this temple & fight.

Captain T.Ode

And then of course everything ends with Professor Toad finding the Toad he was looking for, finishing out his mini story arc. And using your fire powers to free him (And after the Shangri-Spa Toads worked so hard, too!! Lol).

The Purple Streamer

This is the only area of the game I didn’t like. It had a few good moments (Luigi and the Mushroom Island, a few of the puzzles islands) but overall I wanted to get through it as fast as possible and almost rage quit at one point.

The only saving grace was the ending with the Stationary Boss.

The Great Sea

It took me way too long to realize I had to take the boat out into the mist before it would prompt Captain T.Ode getting his submarine. WAY TOO LONG. I was sailing around aimlessly and screaming in the Museum wondering why the guy didn’t come get the Marino yet for like a solid thirty minutes.

Everything about this area was slow. Swimming from Island to Island. The loading screens between the Submarine sections. The small Island puzzles.

Just. Ug.

And of course when I find out I can upgrade the boat to go faster I didn’t have enough coins. So I had to go to another area to fight baddies to get coins and come back. XD

Even meeting Olly’s creator on an island (with a great Luigi sequence) was a disappointment. It was so short and all we really learned was that Olly is the one who made Olivia (which makes him more her Dad than her Brother...which I have talked bout before but will let the topic drop here for now). And that was IT.

Give me a flashback to Olly being made. Give me more of a hint to what the Origami Maker wrote to make the kid go nuts. Just. Something. Anything! *throws hands in the air*

The Ice Vellumental

This temple was annoying. The sliding ice puzzles were just...no. They aren’t actually that bad. I was just really burned out from all the sailing when I got to this temple and was in a bad mood. I’ll be fair--the temple itself was fine.

(Except for one area where you had to climb the stairs while dodging falling boulders and I kept messing up my jumps and having to do it over and ARRRGH).

BUT THE BEAR.

I hate the bear. I had my first game over with the bear. I nearly rage Quit with the bear. And I beat him EVENTUALLY with 10 HP and because the game had pity on me and stuck the 1000 Arms Technique panel on the outer row.

I was fine up until the “Memorize the path and recreate it” section. The path would look easy. I’d remember where it was. But then the rings would get shuffled and I could not recreate the path for the life of me. I tried it so many times. I failed so many times.

*stares into the distance*

I watched a Youtube Tutorial that beat that boss in five minutes. It took me like an hour. There is a special type of frustration that comes from “I know what I need to do and I know the trick but I can’t seem to make it work.”

The Three Trials

I paid coins to make these easier. I was so done with everything by that point, that failing the stupid Strength Trial twice in a row was enough to just. End me. XD

The Sea Tower and Tape

A shining light in a horrible Streamer. Lol. The Tower was fun to climb and I got excited for the Tape boss.

Who did not disappoint.

His greaser Punk personality and calling Olly “Boss” was the first thing that made me really grin this entire streamer. Even Tape’s fight gimmick taping the panels down was almost a relief and a much easier fight than the Ice Vellumental.

I loved the Tape fight. XD

The Green Streamer

Aka “Kamek is awesome and bless the Bowser Minions.”

Shangri-Spa

I liked this area more than I thought I would. When I first got there and saw the theme of Angel Toads I was like “Why” and then I saw Bower’s fallen Castle, met all the minions paying off their debt cleaning, and Olivia thought Kamek was a housekeeper.

Bless all of it.

And then Bowser Jr. gets cut into pieces by a pair of scissors and it was like “Oh, shit.”

You fix him of course, but the implications were like “Dude, those scissors killed Bowser Jr.” I honestly think one of the reasons they leaned so much harder into the “paper” aesthetic was to get away with more violence/darker content. The entire Scissors lair and fight is the perfect example. It sort of follows TV and Cartoon logic - if it’s not human, you can get away with a LOT more violence (like robots getting ripped apart or derezzing characters in Tron).

It’s not actual gore, but if you think about what it symbolizes, it really hits you (and why Mario Game Overs getting cut in half instead of reviving with his Green Mushroom).

You get a small break after that exploring all the Spas and their mini puzzles to fix Bowser Jr. The Jungle Area is the longest of which and has some nice scripted Game Overs that are fun to trigger and Olivia, Kamek, and Bowser Jr. have a good “Pick me!” scenario that gets repeated.

The boss of his area is also Macho Chain Chomp which is a win in my book because Chain Chomp is Best Mario Baddie.

(I love Chain Chomps. I have a Chain Chompette on my Keychain.)

Bowser’s Castle & Scissors

I noticed a lot of people saying Scissors was their favorite Stationary Boss and I didn’t quite get why until this Castle & Fight. He’s not knocking Hole Punch out of the way on my own list (Seriously that Boss fight music), but he is up there on the “Dude” factor.

Scissors is creepy. He is a literal sadist who tortures everyone he gets his hand on. His shadow paper minions are creepy and have cool Ring Battles.

The mutilated minions he used to make up a paper Macho Buzzy Beetle was dark if you thought about it too long - but it was a great Kamek moment. XD

Scissors himself had a great “I want a challenge!” attitude and his fight was intense.

I also screwed up and broke the blade guard on the first turn and uh. I died very quickly. XD That note that says “DO NOT BREAK THE GUARD” wasn’t kidding. I’m not super at timing action commands, so uh, jumping over the blades didn’t work out so well (especially when Scissors started cheating...).

Second time went much better. I figured out how to time attacks to avoid hitting his guard. I got to see the awesome cut scene where he took the guard off. I actually dodged a hit. I had fun. XD

And then Bowser enters the scene for the final areas of the game. Whoooo!

Finale

Bowers’ Air Ship appearance was epic. Very cinematic and I loved how he was like “I might use this against you later.”

Mario and Bowser team ups never fail to disappoint, honestly.

The air battle was messed up.

After that entire scene with Bobby in the Blue Streamer...I am now firing Bob-ombs at planes freely and in mass numbers because I have bad aim. I just. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. XD

The crash landing and the race out of the volcano were fun, though.

Peach’s Castle & Olly’s Castle

Luigi finally brought us the right key. I haven’t talked about Luigi much, but every single one of his appearances brought a smile with them. I loved how he had a key in every chapter like clockwork, and even now, he came through.

Bowser talking about Luigi was also pretty great. XD

But most importantly:

I love Olly. His few appearances here desperately made me wish there had been more of him earlier. He’s a dramatic little brat and I want to hug him.

The transformation of Peach’s Castle to Olly’s Origami one? Amazing. One of my favorite cut scenes in the game.

Fighting the Origami Castle itself? Eh. Aside from the great music tracks, it was a little tedious. It lacked the cool levels of the earlier Boss Areas and was mostly “use 1000 folding arms” to progress. I didn’t hate the area, but it was a bit of a let down.

Stapler was nice though. He was a good dog. That I crushed in combat. o-o

King Olly

His throne room covered in Paper Cranes is my favorite designed room & man, I wish I remembered to take more screen shots. It was so creepy and so dark and it looked so good with this tiny paper King sitting alone next to an empty throne since Olivia “Betrayed” him.

I loved how his castle still had Olivia everywhere. Like they were meant to be together, but still separated. So good. T-T

The Princess Peach reveal was also so creepy and great.

But also made me wish for more cut scenes. Why did Olly want to make her into the wall? Why did he want her quiet? Did she annoy him? Or What? Tell me, game. Tell me!

Aesthetically it made the room look perfect though as his creepy little room. XD

As far as Olly's motivations go...I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, yes, it’s a little shallow. “A Toad wrote on me so now I’m going to destroy all flat paper beings and make them origami!” is sure...a thing. But I’m also a fan of Evil Characters that are just...evil. Maybe Olly really did just want to make everything Origami so they were like him. He was the first “Living” Origami creature and maybe he was just lonely. That’s why he made Olivia and wanted everyone to be like him.

But that’s also reading into it...and makes me want to write a fanfic exploring it, but this is a review. XD

I’m fine with “Olly was looking for any excuse to go nuts and take over the world and the writing will just have to do.” Even if it does make his little “I guess I lost so now I’m redeemed” moment feel forced. XD

The Fights

The Bowser Origami Sumo vs Giant Olly thing was...okay. I get what they were going for, but it kinda missed the mark with me.

The Actual Olly fight? Oh lord. I had to do it like 10 times.

I failed the Action commands...a lot. Which meant a lot of game overs since I went into the fight with like 40 health (I may or may not be bad at jumping and the Sumo fight throwing stars may or may not have wrecked my health) and didn’t doge Olly's attacks.

Thankfully the game made the ring puzzle easier each time so I could actually finish it.

And it only took me 4 times to get the action commands right? XD Something like that.

I DID IT which is the point.

(This is a case of “If I was better at gaming I would have loved the fight” but my poor skills made it longer and more tedious than it should have been - only’s awesome speech at the beginning loses its bite after the fourth time hearing it.)

The Final Cut Scene

Olivia saying Goodby to Olly had me teary eyed. Her holding his little hand. Reading the message their creator left. Olly’s request for her to make him into the last crane.

Olivia’s freaking WISH. Knowing that She, herself, was one of Olly’s creations.

The cut scene was beautiful. The cranes. The light. The castles’ return.

The party at the end. The two little empty thrones.

I was sniffing through the (very well done and great to watch) credits.

Olivia was such a good girl and I miss her and Olly so much.

This ending was the perfect example of “Wouldn’t change it because it made me sad in a good way but Bless Fanfics and their “Everyone Lives” alternate universes.”

THE END

The game had a few hiccups but overall? I loved it. I can very easily see how “Your first Paper Mario is your favorite” is going to hold true. Wonderful game.

I might have to actually go back and try to 100% the game to get that extra ending I’ve seen spoiled.

#Paper Mario #Paper Mario The Origami King #Nintendo #I loved this game.#I could talk about all of it even more #but this is the condensed version.#Review #Long Post

1 note · View note

spiritcc · 7 years

Text

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Behold the episodes that are often the most known to the Western public, about the story that is often the most known to the world, the story that, tragically for ACD, made Holmes popular once again - the motherfucking Hound of the Baskervilles.

That story was also the first Holmes story I’ve ever read, thanks my book for putting it literally ahead of everything else including the Study in Scarlet, bitch. And it was the first episode of the Soviet show I’ve ever watched. If I go further, Hound was also the first Frogwares game I’ve ever played, so basically, whatever there was and is, it all started with the Hound of the Baskervilles.

Let’s dive into this experience that managed to secure a place in my heart, and on my icon.

So, first of all, I own this piece of pirated wonder in no other but bluray quality itself - and boy does it show. These are legit the true colors of the episodes and it looks almost unreal. But nothing will be as unreal as the fucking fact that the Hound is literally the only episode set that they’ve remade into bluray. Fuck the rest of the series for not being the most famous Holmes story, amiright, some episodes in the middle will do. It’s like whatever, not like these guys overseas would want to watch anything else but this particular story, right?

And honestly, even outside of the Soviet context, generally watching any Hound adaptation after reading the book takes a lot away from the very beginning. All of them try to build the suspense and a story we all already know. Every time I watch it I always kind of catch myself on the thought that this movie would be so much effective if I never knew the plot. It’s like with Harry Potter, you don’t watch it for the experience, you only criticise their take at adapting the original text. The fourth HP movie, do you hear me, by the way? Remember the Quidditch World Cup? Yeah, me neither. Fuck you.

And in the Soviet context, watching this first is not the worst idea out there, but definitely not the best one either. I guess it could be applied to any adaptation, since the main attraction, Holmes, is absent for most of the story. But in the Soviet case, it’s also missing a lot of Holmes/Watson interactions, which is kinda the main feature of this show. Of course there’s the immortal Watson/Henry dudebro tandem, but it’s obviously not something anyone came here for. And if you noticed, this episode set follows the original text pretty closely most of the time, so whatever non-canon warm scenes pass, you don’t exactly notice them in the overall picture. It just feels like something a little more than a standard adaptation, nothing else. Which is probably why it’s still fine to watch it first, but again, not exactly the best idea either.

So, because this whole Hound business was my first in everything, and because in my times I had way too much fun watching it to take anything adequately, these episodes indeed hold a special place in my heart. The fact that these are the only episodes that follow the same continuous story without any extra cases thrown in also helps - you’re completely engaged in this spectacle that runs about two and a half hours in total.

So, I’ll try to talk about why I become so high when I watch it, and also yeah, I’ll try to sound like a decent human being that can burp out a non-embarrassing review.

This is the very first thing we see when the episode starts and

Df. Df the origin.

That’s it, you’re sold, anything serious they were working for all thrown out the window. “as I had the story from my father woho also had it from his I have set lt down noth all belief”, wow. Indeed, terrific. Moral of the story: don’t get out in the night? Nope. Don’t attempt at creepypasta after smashing your face with all contents of your booze cupboard. I swear it was Hugo who came back home after a dog bit his buttock off and wrote this.

Anyway, I was talking about how watching this first would not be a good idea, but despite this, the charm of this version hits you from the very start, and I may or may not be talking about this fucking scroll above. What is a definite representation of everything this series stands for is the very first thirty seconds after the credits roll. The cool main theme continues as Holmes eats this very English breakfast, looking all very cool and very Holmes-y, with Watson and Mrs. Hudson behind him. He asks Watson about the cane, the canon exchange about detective ears takes place, everyone is very serious, very canon and everything. But then, Mrs. Hudson, who would normally be a non-existent entity in most adaptations, speaks up: and in one-liner that would make Chuck Norris cry, she matter-of-factly tells Watson that Holmes sees his reflection in the coffee pot. This line belonged to Holmes in the story, but here, Mrs. Hudson has accidentally inherited his deduction talents since way back in the first episode - she figures out Holmes’ prank in literal seconds and is totally not surprised, and neither is Holmes at her comment. In this adaptation, Mrs. Hudson is always an important participant. And when the reveal hits, Holmes bursts into explosive laughter. Such an uncharacteristic thing to do for his canon prototype, but jesus, what a SO SO Livanov!Holmes thing to be. And here it is, in thirty seconds, - everything this show ever was. Human and lively Holmes, his friend Watson that takes no shit, and the ever-important Mrs. Hudson.

Are we going to talk about Mortimer and how he managed to troll and insult Holmes like thrice without realising, yikes Holmes was on edge the whole time being attacked like this in his own home. The actor looks like a perfect match to me.

His manner of reading is so infinitely satisfying to me, he’s so into this creepypasta and everything what happens there, that’s what everyone means when talking about expressive reading. Mortimer’s emotions + music + scenery made a very atmospheric reenacting of the hound legend.

I’ve noticed once that those so to say “flashbacks” were nothing more than us following Holmes’ imagination, since they start every time he closed his eyes, and ended on him opening them. These scenes honestly don’t get the credit they deserve, they are so engaging and, as I’ve already said, atmospheric. The music that plays at the beginning is one of my favorite themes from the entire series, and that was basically Hope’s cowboy theme from the first episodes recycled. The action itself was shot beautifully, the darkness, the Medieval feel to it and everything, and not only Hugo was played by, obviously, the same actor who plays Stapleton, but his unfortunate gal is played by the actress who did Baryl. I don’t know what kind of parallels that was supposed to draw, but I like this detail nonetheless. And, finally, Mortimer’s emotional delivery wraps it up nicely. 10/10, would df the origin again.

One of the little things somebody has noticed is the extent of Watson’s participation in this. Of course there’s the doctor slang him and Mortimer often like to exchange, something that Holmes loses completely, but there’s also the original lines split, just like it happened with Mrs. Hudson. Here, the question about footprints on the snow was asked by Watson - when in the actual story, all of it came from Holmes. Just as important, people, just as important.

Of course their casual friendship never goes anywhere.

Does the dog case sound legit, Watson?

Watson: *hits blunt*

Watson: Totally.

So, sir Henry. Yeah, sir Henry. I can’t believe Mikhalkov shares my icon with Livanov, but for this role, I’m willing to accept this. I’ve long forgotten what actual sir Henry was supposed to be like, but obviously it wasn’t this

Of course Mikhalkov’s best roles is Mikhalkov playing Mikhalkov, but when the initial disgust with this portrayal wears off (lol im sorry but you know its true), honestly, does this look on his character make any difference? So what if he’s a Canadian cowboy who’s a complete joke, it made zero impact on the story, and added a lot of flavor to Henry’s character. Really, he’s lovely. Did you notice that he’s literally an in-universe representation of a Holmes fanboy?

His dream came true, and yall just haters.

That shoe exchange tho, it wasn’t only weird and awkward for the characters but for the audience on the other side of the screen as well, because literally nobody knew what the fuck was going on and what they were talking about. Nobody in the USSR knew what’s this whole shoes at the door procedure meant and the dialogue never bothered to elaborate, so we had wut on the screen and wut in front of the screen. Desired effect achieved?..

This is where I used to get high because I had a headcanon that the second Holmes heard about the Baskerville fortune, he came to the dark side. Because his laugh was very suspicious, and various goofs throughout the episodes hilariously added to the theory that Holmes framed Stapleton just to grab the money himself.

Take a look at Cartwright and remember the most unfortunate boy in this story, that started off with swimming in trash of 23 hotels and never finding anything as a result.

Let’s also appreciate the fact that Mrs. Hudson’s plank is so low she’s willing to pay anyone who comes to Holmes to answer questions, and let’s also appreciate the fact that this red suit exists.

Now, here the mystery solving finally starts and let me make it clear now: thank god. Thank god that it actually holds on such a level and never slips into the territory that makes the process of adapting this story so dangerous: you don’t miss Holmes.

In general, if a character is absent and you catch yourself on the thought that you really miss them and the show is just not enjoyable anymore, this is a very big red flag for the creators and a very serious indicator that they’re fucking it up. It means that this particular character was the only thing pulling this show behind, and it’s an extremely bad sign if in their absence, the other cast is not able to continue holding the show on the same level. There are many reasons why this might happen, and one of them is the fact that probably this character was the only one the creators cared about to develop properly. The situation goes up to eleven with this universe, since practically the only people that ever mattered here were Holmes and Watson, and Watson, for most of the time, was often dismissed as a dumb shadow following this detective genius around. Suddenly getting rid of Holmes for the majority of the story and trusting Watson to lead the case with such a set up would be insane.

And that’s why I’m extremely glad to declare that in this series, Holmes’ absence does not affect anything at all, because Watson, altogether with other supporting characters, pull the show off brilliantly, and you never once feel like something is missing and could’ve been much better with the main character around. Even during my very first watch, I’ve never had a thought that I wanted to see Holmes instead, and after all those years, my opinion stays the same. As I’ve said before in my Tiger Hunt post - steal the show, supporting characters, steal it like you’re the only ones that matter and take nothing back. I’ll always be there rooting for you.

So, Baskerville gang, and a scene that has spawned a meme of a national scale - and you’ll never guess what it was.

Well, of course there’s my own Bad Luck Watson meme, but it’s nothing compared to the meme that defines not only this entire series, but the entire Holmes saga in eyes of all Russian people.

And it’s the fucking “Oatmeal, sir”.

You would not BELIEVE how HUGE this is, even to this day the ever porridge loving nation serves oatmeal accompanied by this phrase. It is absolutely ridiculous what kind of fame this sentence has gained, the Barrymore actor is still crying because he’s the one that has to put up with 30+ years of oatmeal jokes, the popularity of this is INSANE. It’s not only oatmeal, but any sentence delivered in his deadpan voice and finished with “sir” is the ultimate British representation in the eyes of Russia and all former USSR. This meme is eternal, and if you ask a Russian what they think England is all about, I give you a 100% guarantee it will be at least once you’d hear “Oatmeal, sir” in reply.

These guys, by the way, Mikhalkov and Adabashyan were bffs, and Adabashyan was cast in the series by Maslennikov as a way to shut both of them up on the set, make them too busy to discuss his director talents, as both of them are directors on top of many things. They’d ad-libbed a lot of dialogue and even scenes, which, I guess, made it even more memetic than originally intended.

The faces of two bff assholes on set exactly how they should be. The Barrymore couple are the only Soviet team guys that ended up in the new series: Mr. Barrymore played Watson’s editor, and Mrs. Barrymore played the Queen.

About weird Mrs. Barrymore, the actress really wanted to cut herself some slack because at the time she was pregnant, and her husband, the cameraman Vexler, survived a heart attack and was in the hospital. If she goes along and starts crying her eyes out, that’s really the end to both her health and her child. So decided on what we saw on the screen instead, Adabashyan, as always, helped with improvisation, and this weird woman was born. Maybe that mentally disturbed Selden thing is something that runs in the family after all, huh.

The Stapletons, Oleg Yankovsky

Well, I guess due to his natural charisma, this guy smells of danger miles around him, that’s just how Yankovsky is. Not innocent, not expendable, but rather enigmatic and very suspicious.

His wife, an evident native of Costa Rica

I still can’t believe she snatched Lanovoy for a husband, the man’s too unreal to exist on this sinful earth, never mind to ascend on ordinary mortals. She’s the real winner here, even though it’s not related to the matter in any way.

I swear their sibling relationship is something I would expect in this fucking christmas coffee commercial, but in hindsight it does make a lot of sense. But just a hint, Jack, do not make your wife into your sister and get offended when dudes hit on her, that generally helps.

So, let’s about this gift of a script called Watson/Henry dudebro interactions.

Not only it’s such a blatantly hilarious dudebro relationship, with them discussing chicks, Watson making sure Henry dresses properly and doesn’t embarrass his ass while staying like two meters away from him, and I honestly cannot fathom who came up with this fucking idea we see above. These guys catching Barrymore and going after Selden? That sounds alright, but what if everything’s the same, but…HengRIE aNd WaTSON ARe fuCKING smasHED??? GE NI OUS MR SCRIPTWRITER YOU DESERVE ANOTHER GLASS AND YOU’RE JUST IN THE MOOD TO FINISH WRITING THAT BASKERVILLE SCROLL.

I mean jeez, what a scene, these two solving one mystery and going out for a hunt while being drunk out of their asses, if that isn’t amazing storytelling.

You could practically see alcohol dissolving there, Holmes was facepalming so hard he fell off his rock.

The last interesting variable in the story, Laura Lyons.

You know what I find most about her, everyone is only wondering why she’s smoking a pipe. Western reviewers also tend to whine about Holmes occasionally wearing glasses, and even claim that it ruins the entire series (!!), but honestly, what’s exactly so weird about it? Everything around her is East themed, so the designers went for a particular look and gave her a subtext interest of some sort, and this pipe could be one of it. And even if nobody has a habit of smoking a pipe in the East, to me it’s clearly a way to show her independence and a kind of estranged situation from her all-feminine counterparts. Lives alone, seeks freedom, smokes a pipe - kind of this “I’m tired of men and life” mood. Despite this, she’s far from this image, if we remember that she breaks her facade when Holmes spills the beans - she has a right to be upset and scared.

Here goes Cartwright, a boy dragged away from his home to hobo his way through some depressing murderous village and serve some bitchy detective

Meanwhile we witness sir Henry slowly die inside, lose his initial cowboy attitude and spiral down the slide of fear, alcohol and paranoia. Talk about the real victim

So, Watson goes to hunt this mysterious man, infiltrates his hideout, falls asleep like real detectives do, trashes the entrance with his cigars like he’s asking to get killed, but luckily for him it’s just his troll friend that never trusted him to solve the case on his own and went out of his way to lie to him for the past one and a half episodes

Okay that went too deep, the reveal was very happy and everyone had a great time, no anon hate plz

So, this is the part of the case that really did not please me, oh hey there’s the tin on this picture that was later used as a phosphorus tin found in Stapleton’s shack as if it totally wasn’t Holmes framing him, anyway. This story was basically a room full of people, one of which is definitely a murderer. It did go all the unpredictable ways with some village drama slowly revealing itself in the meanwhile, but the variables stayed fixed. Obviously as a reader following the case closely, you start your own little investigation and make your own assumptions as the story goes. As you think some things are sorted, this fucker comes along and delivers VITAL information, out of nowhere, that ruins all of your own work and kind of even laughs at you for even attempting. I just hated what kind of last minute ass pull it was, to bring this know-it-all character in with information that was NEVER present in any sort or form previously, something you had no chance in guessing, rendering the first part of the investigation useless. Like hey, why bother, before we get this game-changing clue there’s no point in making any assumptions, they’re all wrong anyway. I don’t know I was just very displeased when I read that. Wife, sure. Plot twist, sure. Get out, Holmes.

They leave his hideout, never informing Cartwright about that. Let’s hope the boy got home.

By the way, am I the only one thinking that Stapleton and Henry kinda do look alike naturally? Not just the freaky portrait resemblance? That’s neat if that was intended. Anyhow, Yankovsky’s got a painting of himself now, that’s always a plus

Lyons breaks after seeing Stapleton’s family pic shot by malboro.

The family values™, unless Holmes ruined a pack in his hunt for Baskerville fortune.

And now, I’ve just suddenly thought about this weirdly shifting attitude of this show towards its secondary characters. It does sure make no illusions about Lestrade here, it summoned Lestrade instead of whatever canon detective because it’s convenient, but then, when it came to killing the dog, it’s not Holmes who’d actually shot it five times Meursault-style (hey existential genre references), but Lestrade. Holmes misses, but it’s Lestrade who suddenly pulls the rambo and kills the dog like a boss without flinching. And in-universe all the credit goes to him, and Holmes doesn’t protest in any way, and he’s praised, both in-universe again, and basically by the writers who decided to make the change. Did they do it to keep Holmes’ kill count zero, even if it’s some fucking dog? Who knows, but the same show that made a deal out of Lestrade getting praised in the first episode now willingly made him a hero and is very proud of it. Behind the scenes character development, yo.

By the way, spiritcc bitching about the original story again, who liked the reveal that it was an actual big dog? Surely not me. I was expecting something cooler, to be honest, some kind of thing that makes dog footprints, some sort of killing scheme, and when I was reading the sentence when an actual dog ran out, boy was I disappointed. Of course, it’s just a very hungry and abused big dog. What else could it be. A big dog. Big dog of the Baskervilles. I mean yeah. Why would I suddenly expect something overly complicated.

By the way, the first time I watched it, I was actually tense, simply because I was expecting to get jumpscared, and believe it or not I fucking was, twice, both by sir Henry and his sissy fucking shrieking in the middle of a completely silent scene. First when he saw Selden’s candle, and then when the dog ran after him. I guess the second time was fair, but jesus christ you bitch.

THEY FUCKING KILLED SNOOPY

I AM SHOOK.

Finally, everything is over, thanks to disposable sir Henry that turned into an alcoholic and got chewed on by some fucking big dog that eats its own kind, at least Holmes wasn’t hurrying anywhere huh

Gang porridge feeding, the man’s so broken he’d take anything by this point.

At the end, we finally shift back to Baker Street and a very poor final explanation, that never clarified who sent that warning letter to sir Henry at the beginning, dismissed how Stapleton would’ve fought for his legal rights and just kind of flung over Lyons’ motivation, although I’m not sure if this one was in canon or not. Surprising for a movie with such a long running time that could’ve totally afforded all of this, but oh well I guess. Most of us have read the book anyway.

Oh man, the Hound of the Baskervilles. Look at this post, it’s probably the biggest thing I’ve ever written here. It is an experience for me, I have a lot to say about some details, the story itself, the crack thoughts that transport me in a world of my own watching this - it’s not my favorite episode out there, but somehow it’s very deep in my heart because of all these moments we’ve shared.

Maslennikov felt like his work here is done once and for all - three sets, seven episodes, whatever important things he wanted to show, he did. The series is finally over.

Finally over, he thought, opening the Scandal in Bohemia…

#the hound of the baskervilles #russian sherlock holmes #jesus christ it's the biggest post i've ever written holy hell #marathon notes

14 notes · View notes