#and that he has the wrong impression of what upset her to begin with
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NUCLEAR YAP
spoilers for S3E12 of midst
Weepe and Saskia’s relationship has occupied my damn brain space since inside, and their reunion has been my most anticipated event to happen in ANY media since we learned in breakfast that Saskia was going to the light with Harry. One little pet peeve I’ve had with not writing this sooner is seeing people be very reductive with what’s gonna happen, or even their relationship. Which is easy to fall into, considering weepe doesn’t seem to be anything other than an opalescent, weird, evil bastard when you shine a light on him. But just like his body, there are very dark things hiding within his character. And a big part of season 3 has been seeing those dark things finally begin to show. So let’s get inside these 2 characters heads fully and completely, to understand their relationship with eachother.
Both Saskia and weepe are mysterious characters at first, on the second episode the only thing we are sure of either of them is that they run the black candle, are criminals, and are a bit quirky. Concord is even initially taken aback by the funky dynamic they had. Let’s start with Saskia, who, for all that she has to hide, is much more clear to us as a character than Mr. Moc Weepe. She was the owner of the black candle cabaret, which weepe says in was kind of crappy when he first saw it, before he stepped in to help make it the very successful business it is. And she’s also a valorous trustee, which means she immigrated to midst from the Un before weepe did. She’s been in midst for a very long time. Infact, she was one of the first settlers of stationary hill back in 598. Judging that she’s in her early 40’s according to Sara in the tumblr AMA, Saskia would be at most 18 when she arrived at stationary hill, meaning that she has been a part of Stationary hill and midst for both the entirety of its life, and for the entirety of her adult life. She would die for this place. Twice. She’s been shown time and time again to be an idealist and someone who deeply cares about each and every member of this community. And that extends to Mr. Moc Weepe. To quote her in Coda “See, I told you! I promised I was gonna work on him.”. What this line implies is that upon arriving on stationary hill, people were quick to assume/realize that Moc Weepe is kind of a freak. He’s not someone anyone would like working at their place of business based on first impressions. But Saskia is an idealist, and partnered with weepe anyway. And he seems to have been a very good bet, as he has transformed the black candle cabaret into an enviable establishment across the cosmos. Weepe was an exceptional justification of her idealism.
Was.
Saskia was disappointed when Weepe betrayed her. Not shocked. Disappointed. She was so upset that the man she helped get better, the person who helped her in-turn turn the black candle cabaret into something special, someone who, like Saskia, had gotten involved in the community enough these last 6-7 years to earn the nickname the mayor of stationary hill, would fuck her and everything else over. She thought, hoped, he had changed. And Moc Weepe seems to believe in interest that he’s incapable of that. That he is a man who cannot do good. But moving beyond business partners for a second. In the quote I’m pulling from coda early on in the last paragraph, just before weepe mentions that Saskia really had to pull his leg to come on stage and sing with her. Which begs the question, why does she want to sing with him? An answer so easy it’s almost a no brainer to bring up. Saskia wanted to sing with weepe because she likes singing with weepe, because she cares about weepe. And weepe tore out her heart not just by betraying everyone, to the trust, but by proving Saskia wrong. That being patient with him, that loving him (whatever form that love may be), was an unwise decision. In episode 16 of season 2, she through away the nutcracker for 2 reasons. 1 to not give Meryl any hints that it was weepe or someone involved in the cabaret who killed Atticus (which she instantly realizes and suspects when she learns he is dead), and to remove any trace of weepe from her life. Helping that man may still be in the cards, Saskia isn’t a spiteful person. She could’ve killed weepe in the tearorr if she wanted to. She is still an idealist. But being close with him again. Him becoming a part of her life again. That is something she does not want. Unfortunately for her however. She is now in a city ruled by him, a fact that she brings up twice in episode 3x10. And yet she stays behind to help lark and Phineas. Even though she is determined to keep weepe out of her life. She will not run.
Moc Weepe was someone else once. Maybe we’ll never know who exactly that was. But we do know that he was the Baron of Fold Shallows before Kozma. He too would’ve been young when midst was founded. Quite young when he was put in a mica maiden and dropped into the fold abyss. A boy you could say. And ever since then, he has stated that the only thing keeping him together was the thought of seeing Kozma Lazlo again and turning her into a nice damp puddle. In interest, he states that midst was supposed to be a quick pit stop. But he ended up staying there instead. For up to 7 years.
She made him stay.
Weepe is an incredibly cynical person. Weepe has rarely a nice thing to say about any character he interacts with in the entire series. He has never, not even once, been interested in one of Imelda’s speeches about doing the right thing. And he has a very nihilistic attitude about doing what he has to to survive. But while he certainly took a radical business minded, capitalist, hustle grind mindset while running the black candle cabaret, he seemed to start doing more than just surviving. He accidentally made a home there. He stayed in one place for too long, and put down roots without meaning too (sound familiar Lark) He usually doesn’t give a shit about consequences, but he cared then. He cared about Saskia’s opinion of him. Because she believed in him. In the Arca chamber, in what he perceived to be potentially his final moments, he called out to her, as if in his deluded state, Saskia would be the one to save him from the other side. And in some ways she did. She gave him a place to stay, a business partnership, an opportunity to do good. And he was doing it.
Despite what weepe says about that he would’ve fucked the black candle over later if he didn’t do it now, he didn’t fuck the black candle cabaret over for 4 years. In fact, when it was raided, it was in the best state it had ever been in. And when he ran out of the cabaret with only his medical case, he almost cried because he was leaving her and this wonderful place behind for good.
Weepe is now tripotentiary, and has killed Kozma Lazlo. He is the richest person in the entire cosmos. And yet Saskia Del Norma still keeps coming up, even though she is not there. In his mind and everyone else around him, she is gone forever. He left her, and she will never come back. We’ve talked before how cult psychology works best without other relationships outside the cult. Weepe only became forced to be a trustee because the islet of midst, the black candle cabaret, and Saskia del Norma, are all gone forever to him. He has no one but Imelda (who is a whole can of worms I’ll get into some other day). And like Saskia, we get to contrasting reactions from weepe about the other. When weepe is dying in the Arca chamber, he reaches out to Saskia. When he’s at his lowest, when all is lost, he turns to the one person who believed in and cared about him. But when he’s reminded of her or the ruin of midst, like in episode 5 and 12 of season 3, he gets anxious, and steers the conversation elsewhere, rather aggressively in interest. He physically reacts to both times it’s brought up. In his new life as leader of the trust, as that old him who ruled over a vast number of islets with an ironfist, that opportunity he once had to be a good person in his and others eyes makes him very uncomfortable. He doesn’t want that reminder of when his cynicism weakened, the reminder that he gave up on being good, to come with him into his life as Baron again. But, in inside he still called to Saskia in that chamber. And he doesn’t know she’s alive. He doesn’t know that the person who once cared for him is in the light right now. And if he meets her, if he sees that she is there and real, he will not run.
(I’m still working on my essay for Imelda, I’ve been working on it for 2 weeks.)
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so i was going through book 6, in search of ash and embla crumbs, but found this:
Askr: Long ago, Embla and I both granted our power to mortals so that they might use those powers to flourish. We selected different peoples. I chose those born in what is now called Askr. She, of course, chose those born in what is now Embla... And for a time, the two peoples lived separately from each other, and they were content.
Bruno: Then...why?
Askr: It all started with a simple misunderstanding. Some of the Emblian people came to Askr. They were attracted by the way open exchange was valued there. This, however...enraged Embla.
Bruno: ...
Askr: She believed those people chose to desert her in favor Askr, and she could not forgive that. Her people, of course, had no such feelings... But she refused to believe anything they said. Embla forbade her people to leave to other worlds. Anyone who did not obey was punished, severely. The people grew to fear Embla, and the number that fled from her only grew...
Bruno: ...Naturally.
Askr: I know she was deeply hurt, and that hurt only grew deeper... Everyone left her, and she was completely alone... I cannot begin to imagine her pain. I offered to help her, but she met me with hatred and refused. There was nothing I could do. In the end, Embla used her power to completely close off her world. That way, those people who were still with her would no longer have even the possibility of leaving. Then she took control of their very hearts and turned them to her will so there was no chance of betrayal...
so according to askr, the timeline is:
emblians come to askr -> embla overreacts and overcorrects -> askr tries to get her to stand down -> she starts harming mortals
but according to the flashbacks we see from embla, the timeline is:
embla gives aid to the emblians -> one of them attacks her all of a sudden, giving her the shock of her life -> she goes to askr to convince him to step away but he refuses -> she goes beserk
both of them could be entirely unreliable on what actually went down. because embla's flashbacks are basically some of the most important moments in her life, while askr has always been inclined to give mortals the benefit of the doubt.
(of course, it could just be a last minute addition)
but when exactly does embla's scare with death happen?
because it could completely change the context of why she did those things
option 1: if they went to askr first, they saw how askr had open exchange, one mortal attacked embla because she got mad or maybe just because they felt cheated, she forbade them all from leaving, things escalated
option 2: a mortal attacked her first, then some folks went to askr, which prompted embla to forbid them from potentially causing harm to askr
option 3: they went askr, she did actually overreact and forbid them from going, then one mortal tried to kill her, and then she overreacted even more
but like idk if it's just me, but i feel like reaction no. 3 is kind of weird. elm's wording is pretty strange. sure he's an unreliable narrator who hates mortals, but he also explicitly tells her that they'll hate her if she starts killing them, as if they don't hate her right now
so they didn't hate her then?
this is his line:
Elm: But if you kill them, the mortals are sure to spread rumors about you, to sow fear and vile intent... Even those who now love you dearly will retreat from you... If you would, please reconsider, Lady Embla.
like, what does that mean?? because askr seems to think that her punishments drove them all away, but if we believe elm at face value, this is before that. like he's sort of saying, the ones who are innately cruel and/or don't care for embla as much will sow fear, until even her most devoted mortals will leave her?
so if we believe elm. then her shutting down the border is in active response to the incident?
and did she tell askr what happened exactly? because embla in the english version never says that a mortal tried to kill her. only that they'll betray him, even though he puts in so much energy for them. and in jp, she uses the word for betrayal/double-crossing but i'm not sure if it has connotations of death.
so did askr think she was just being her gloomy self?
especially considering she wasn't very enthused about helping them and only really did it because of askr.
and embla implicitly says that her motivation is to ensure that askr is safe. that he doesn't end up betrayed. and she only sets it into motion after askr refuses her, and it doesn't seem to be prompted by a desire to keep them by her side.
Embla: So, this is the true face of these mortal beasts... Of course it is. There will be those who come for Askr's life as well... They will betray the trust he places in them so blindly. And this is all the proof I need.
Elm: Right you are. But even so...
Embla: ...I must kill them.
like does that look like the thought process of a yandere (for mortals) to you? if anything, she's lowkey yan for askr.
(only lowkey, because i'm sure self-preservation plays a role as well)
and clearly, the part about her killing them and askr confronting her for it has to be the "punishment" for trying to leave and him offering to help her, but her "meeting him with hatred."
could it be that he simply assumed the betrayal was them approaching him, when it was actually the murder attempt? and that when she was talking about him being betrayed, she was saying they'd turn their back on him and be ungrateful? especially since that sounds like something she'd say
plus, this is a very weird reaction for someone who wants to kill mortals because of her fear that they'll betray askr as well and hurt her again
Enough, enough, ENOUGH!
Get out from my sight! If the mortals love you so, then so be it!
They detest me.
May they all seek your company and be happy—and leave me alone.
Wretched! All of you!
elm told her this would happen, so why is she surprised? this feels kind of different from when she knew how askr would act and was still in disbelief that he let himself die.
like, maybe i'm digging too much into this, but could it be that the fact that askr starts of the conversation worried about mortals sets her off? she even tells him off for calling their lives precious.
i don't doubt that askr was right on the money about her still caring about mortals. i also don't doubt that he was genuinely concerned about her as well.
and i don't hold it against him, but it feels like that wasn't what she needed to hear, which is why she spiraled further.
the whole problem was that embla was at a point that she felt she could only trust her kind (elm and askr), but askr was consistently betraying her expectations in favor of mortals
like, i suspect the only reason she brings up the mortals leaving her is because askr's convinced that her attachment issues to them are the problem.
it's a mix of the fact that she was attacked first, that they all go to askr when they could pose a threat to him, which freaks her out, and askr's continued insistence on trusting them.
(i do, however, think that this line from her playable self does actually refer to mortals.
The mortals chose Askr. All of them. Over me...
though it does seem out of place, there's just no way to finagle that as her actually talking about askr. i think this is just a result of her having had centuries to mull the events over in her head.
and i say out of place because she also says this:
Mortals once loved me as they do Askr… I had no choice.
so like she knows she drove them off, but she still says the prior line? which further plays into the idea of her wanting protect herself and protect askr?
honestly, the first line might just be in reference to the fact that no one stopped to try and figure out why she was going beserk when she'd been a perfectly benevolent person before then and just ran to askr.
they basically discarded her, which makes sense because it's very much like when you go to dad when mom's mad, but embla just didn't see it that way because she also holds a grudge against them and so paints them in a terrible light and refuses to empathize with them.
because again, if we believe elm, everything was fine and dandy up to that point and he was able to manipulate letizia, so i have some faith in his words)
because i genuinely don't think askr would gloss over a murder attempt in the way he gently refutes her concern. like it's certainly possible a mortal could get a fatal hit in on her or injure her gravely. i think he'd take that much more seriously, which further makes me think he just had no idea
in conclusion: miscommunication just doomed two entire kingdoms
#feh#fire emblem heroes#feh embla#feh askr#emblaskr#feh elm#i just really wanted to get my thought on these two on paper#and consolidate the timeline#i didn't remember that askr actually provided his version of the events as well#and i think it's very tragic that it is very much possible that askr in that moment#just didn't realize how grave the situation actually was because embla never specified#and that he has the wrong impression of what upset her to begin with#so his approach when she goes beserk is just flat out wrong#and that just makes things worse#on the bright side#i appreciate that he always mentions that he wishes they could#be as they once were
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more sunshine! gojo and grumpy!f reader pleaseeeeeeee I ship so hard
you got it baby
her rage keeps him going.
summary: gojo satoru is trying to get his grumpy girlfriend's attention by flirting with another girl at a party. wrong move.
pairing: sunshine!gojo satoru x grumpy!female reader
content warnings: jealousy, reader being a badass, gojo being madly in love, cursing, adult themes at the end, borderline toxic gojo satoru?
Masterlist
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"Baby."
"Baby."
"Baby."
"Sugarpie."
"Honeybunch-"
"Yes, Satoru?" You sigh, trying to finish the report you need to give Yaga. The frown deepens on your forehead as Satoru moves to sit in front of you, head leaning in, blocking your view of the paper completely.
"Sato-"
"Let's watch a movie." He blatantly says. "I'm bored."
You take a deep breath, pushing his head away. "I'm kind of in the middle of something, Toru."
Recently Yaga has been giving you more reports to fix. It's the kids' reports that are either too messy or filled with too many unnecessary details. It keeps on piling and piling and piling on top of your own work and you barely have time to do... anything, really.
And Satoru being Satoru, is not interested in paperwork. So you have to pick up his share as well, and it's sending you over the edge.
"Come on~" He whines, "It's been a while since you and I spend time together."
"We live under the same roof," You counter, "We go home and leave for work together every day."
He huffs, "It's not the same and you know it."
You sigh, promising him you'll watch something with him soon, but of course, you being busy, it gets forgotten. And it stays that way for a few days until the spring break party Jujutsu High decides to have.
You haven't properly talked to Satoru since then. You know he's upset that you've been so busy, but there's honestly not much you can do. You can only hope he understands and he'll be a bit more patient until things die down at work.
But of course, it doesn't happen that way.
You have to attend the spring break party just as Satoru is also required to. There aren't many people to begin with, but there are some new faces. New and pretty faces.
Stepping into the hall, you cringe at the sight. The higher ups are looking to create a new impression on the new students. It seems they want to look more approachable and 'trendy', seeing how the hard way didn't work so much with your and Satoru's generation.
It looks like a really bad frat party.
"What in the world..."
"Just drink." Shoko hands you a tequila shot while she downs one herself, "We've done more than enough these past few weeks, who cares what this party is about."
You drink the shot and cringe even more at the sharpness. "Oh God- this is horrible."
"It'll get the job done," Shoko chuckles, already downing her second shot.
Sighing, you scan the room to find Satoru. You figure with the spring break coming, you'll have more free time and you both can finally take a vacation together. As an apology for being so busy lately, you've bought tickets and you want to surprise him.
"Hey, have you seen Sato- Oh you've gotta be kidding me."
In your eyesight is Satoru talking very closely to a woman. She's not anyone you know, but from her body language, she's not anyone you want to know. Your eyes squint to assess the situation -- maybe you're overthinking this? Maybe she's just like Miwa, she just admires him- nope. That hand slowly trailing up and down Satoru's arm is not friendly at all.
And Satoru is allowing all of this?
"Shoko," You call her, "Let's go play darts."
"Uh-oh."
Satoru's doing it on purpose. He knows it will irritate you, and he knows technically he shouldn't be doing this, but you've been so busy lately and he's desperate for your attention.
Borderline toxic? Maybe, but again, he's desperate.
And it's not like he's interested in this girl who's talking to him about something she did the other day -- he can't even remember her name. But when he sees you shooting glares his way, a small smirk plays on his lips because he knows he's caught your eye.
He just didn't expect you to take it into such extreme measures.
One second you're sitting by the bar with Shoko, and suddenly there's a red dart that whooshed its way between Satoru and this girl. The dart is right in front of her eyes, almost scratching her nose.
"Oops," He hears the threat in your tone despite the smile on your face. "Looks like I missed my mark."
"By a mile..." Shoko mutters. The target board isn't even anywhere near where Satoru is standing.
You make your way to Satoru and the girl whose face has turned white. "I'll just take that-" you pull the red dart that's quite stuck in the wall, but not before sparing the girl a cold glare, "and if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a little talk with my boyfriend here."
Satoru lets you drag him by the arm outside. To be completely honest, he's quite turned on. Seeing your possessiveness over him, your rage, your jealousy, he wants all of it.
"Are you done acting up- mmp!"
Satoru pulls you to him, his hand keeping your neck in place so he can kiss you properly while also not letting you escape. He forces his tongue into your mouth, taking your breath away completely.
"Satoru-"
He shushes you, lifting you from the ground to sit on the bench, your legs straddling his waist while still making out with you.
"I'm not done talking-" You finally push him away with a pant. "What's gotten into you?!"
You notice something poking your ass and you slap his shoulder, "Are you seriously getting turned on right now?!"
"Mm, baby," He tries to kiss you again, "You know I love it when you yell at me."
You scoff and grab his chin roughly. "So you did all of that just because you wanted some attention?"
Satoru gulps.
"Are you really that needy, Satoru? Hm?" You tilt your head, peeling his blindfold off. "I guess I have been neglecting you and your needy cock for a while, huh?"
He nods helplessly.
"I guess it is partially my fault for leaving you unattended for so long," Your hand travels down to grab his cock through his pants. "But just so we're clear, Satoru... don't ever pull that shit again, understand?"
He moans and nods his head again.
"Good." You peck his lips, "You're mine. And I don't let anyone just touch what's mine."
Satoru could come right then and there.
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#satoru x you#satoru x reader#gojo angst#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojo x you#satoru angst#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru jjk#gojo x female reader#gojo satoru x female reader
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ultraviolence.
(politician!coriolanus x innocent!f!reader)
summary: he may keep hurting you, but something keeps you from leaving .
tw: coryo is NOT a good person at all here. no delusion about it. was listening to lana and couldn’t help but write this. cw: 18+! name calling, slapping, fingering, semi-public sex, creampie, pet names (love, dove, darling, etc.), fingering, breeding kink, manipulation, threats. lmk if i missed something!
You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, not truly. Just a little teasing never hurt your man, right? Sure, it was a very publicized gala, but Coryo was your man. It’s what wives do for husbands.
It started out like most nights. You got ready for a public outing, doing your hair and makeup to the nines, dressing to impress your husband. You couldn’t find yourself giving a damn about what Panem had to say about how you looked, only your husband. You even put on the dress he requested, sans the panties he had asked you to wear. It would be a nice surprise, right?
“Darling,” Coryo starts, rubbing his hand slowly up under the edge of your dress as you sat on his lap, smiling politely to all the guests around you. You looked so overwhelmed, and he would do the good husbandly thing, help you take the edge off.
“Yes, Coryo?” You gently responded, body already responding to his ministrations, and you couldn’t wait for him to find out the secret you had planned for him. He drew in a short breath as he reached further, expecting the barrier of your panties, instead, finding nothing blocking him from your wet cunt.
“What’s this, my little dove?” He asks you, more gently than you had assumed he would. You had intended to rile him up, get him to act a little rough with you. He had been having a long, difficult week, and you had wanted him to take his frustrations out on you. It was what a good wife did for her husband.
“Your surprise, my love.” You told him, wriggling a bit in his lap at the feeling of his long fingertips brushing up against your core.
“You know I don’t prefer it when you leave our home without panties on, my love.” He harshly gripped your thigh, seizing his movement near where you wanted it most.
“I know, but I wanted to upset you. I want you to take your anger out on me. I know my darling husband has had an awful week, and I wanted to be your outlet.” You told him, smirking when he looked flustered at your words.
“Oh, so you wanted to be a little whore.” He released his harsh grip on your thigh, instead choosing to grasp your small arm with his large hand. So large in fact, that his hand fit all the way around your arm.
He left no room for argument, forcing you to stand up, then he followed suit, practically dragging you to a private bathroom. Locking the door, his eyes met yours for the first time since discovering your secret.
He stalked up to you, towering over your small frame. He was nearly a foot taller than you, and you knew he could do just about anything to you, and you would have no power to stop it. But why would you? You’re his lovely little wife, sometimes he needs to punish you to keep you in line.
He reached his hand up, and slapped you. You recoiled at first, the pain of the blow almost too much for you to handle. But you deserved it. You upset your husband, and he was just keeping you in line. You almost wanted to moan, the pain you received from your husband was almost equal to the pleasure you received from him. He made sure of that early on in the relationship.
“I’m sorry, Coryo.” You apologized, reaching up to where he had slapped, feeling the heat of the impact.
“It’s alright, my dove. I just expected more from you, you know.” That was what you hated most about his punishing, knowing that he had excepted better of you, and you had failed to meet his expectations.
You said nothing, waiting for him to make the next move. You didn’t want to disappoint him further, because you know if you did, you would begin to cry. All you wanted was to please him, and earn his approval.
He harshly spun you around, unbuttoning the dress he had chosen for the evening, the buttons reaching all the way down to the top of your ass, which is how he preferred the dresses be styled.
“I know you were just trying to be so, so good for me, my love.” He said, petting your hair lightly, before yanking to dress off, down your legs, before throwing it away somewhere you couldn’t see.
“This won’t fully be a punishment, as I know my good girl is in there. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” He said with a sigh, unbuttoning his slacks, pulling them down with his boxers just enough that his cock sprung out, already painfully hard for you.
You had thought he was going to start fucking you right away, but you had been wrong. He gently slipped his fingers in between your legs, circling your clit with a few harsh movements. You let out a breathy, high pitched moan in delight, not expecting him to give you any pleasure whatsoever. After all, you hadn’t respected his wishes.
“My dove, moaning so beautifully for me. I’m so very lucky that you haven’t left me. I know you’ve written your parents, wondering about leaving, and going home. I’m so glad you haven’t, otherwise I would have to find you, and punish you worse than I ever have.” He surprise you with his statement. You didn’t know he knew about the letters you had written, as you had asked one of the avoxes to discreetly send them. You should’ve known better, not to trust the avoxes when it came to Coriolanus.
You just moaned in response, writhing around in a pitiful attempt in gaining more friction. Coriolanus tsk’d you, grasping your thigh with his free hand. “No, my love. You only get what I give you. You belong to me.”
You gasped at his comment, stilling immediately. You wanted nothing more to please him tonight, and if he told you that he didn’t want you to move, you wouldn’t move a muscle.
“Good girl.” He harshly whispered into your head, slipping two of his fingers into your tight heat. “I’m prepping you for my cock, little one. I know you wouldn’t be ready for it yet, as much as I want you to.”
He roughly thrusted his fingers directly into that spongy spot inside of you, the spot only he could reach. You had tried yourself, never being able to reach it. You almost felt ill, knowing that only he could provide you the pleasure you so desperately needed.
Your moans grew louder, and more needier, the more he thrusted his long fingers into your g-spot. “Please, Coryo. I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll never betray you again. I’ll never leave you, I love you. I’ll listen to you. Please, let me come.” You begged, waiting for his permission. You never allowed yourself to let go without his permission, otherwise he wouldn’t touch you for a week. You learned this early in the relationship, when you had come on his fingers without him allowing you, and then had scheduled two business trips to the districts back to back, not allowing you to see him for nearly a month.
“Please, please, please!” Your begging was almost a high pitched screech, as he plowed his fingers into you at a rapid pace.
“You may let go, little one.” He told you, almost sounding upset with how quickly you needed to come. He usually liked to edge you, make you wait until you damn near squirted into his palm, but today, he just wanted to fuck you.
You let go instantly, coming so hard you had begun to see stars in your vision, slumping back against his strong chest. “Good girl, waiting for my permission.” Coriolanus said, pressing a firm kiss against the top of your head. You blushed, loving when he gave you small bits of affection like that post orgasm.
He gave you a moment, letting your breathing return to normal, before slotting his cock between your legs, and inside of you. You let out a small moan in surprise, quickly standing back up to your full height as he maneuvered you to lean against the sink, hands gripping the marble.
“My girl.” He said matter of factly, thrusting roughly into you, hips bouncing off of your ass. He reached his hand around to grip your throat as he thrusted, squeezing just enough that your airflow had just begun to become restricted. He knew you liked this, whether you admitted it, or not.
He wasn’t much of a talker during sex, only grunts about you being his, and animalistic groans as you squeezed your tight cunt around his thick cock. You were much more vocal, letting out high pitched moans and noises of pleasure, encouraging him to go harder and faster.
“Fuck, yes! Harder, my love. I know you want to.” You moaned out, purposefully squeezing yourself tighter around him, knowing it drove him crazy. “Only you can make me feel like this. Only my Coryo can do this to me.”
He groaned at your words, doubling down on his thrusts, gripping your throat harder, almost choking you. “Yes, little dove. Only I can do this to you, that’s right.” He responded. You could feel him quickly reaching his peak, so you tightened more. You wanted his come, leaking out of you, staining your skin. He had been begging you for an heir, and you thought about letting him. Even though you knew if you allowed him to get you pregnant, you would never be able to leave. The thought scared you, but your love for him overpowered any doubts.
“Fuck a baby into me, Coryo.” You told him, testing the waters, trying to see what his reaction would be. You had never told him that before.
“Fuck!” He responded, thrusting harder and more rapidly than you had thought possible. “I will put my heir in you. Mine. My girl, big and round with my baby. My baby.” He grunted, before spurting deep inside your womb. At the feeling of his spend inside of you, you came too, moaning.
He pulled out, grinning at you as he tucked himself back into his slacks. He scooped his come back into your cunt with his fingers, making sure that it was deep inside of you. He truly wanted that heir, and he would use any means of getting that heir from you.
“You’re my good little dove, you know that.” He started, petting your head gently as you still were coming down from your orgasm. He found your dress, carefully putting your legs into it, one at a time, and gently pulling it back on.
“But if you disrespect me again, I won’t be as nice as I was tonight.”
©keeplcving 2024
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus smut#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow fic
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Edit: I made a post about Alex’s reponse: Here
Okay. The Alex callout is so fucking wishy washy that I’m genuinely getting whiplash. When I first read Ven’s callout document several days ago, I honestly skimmed it because I’m the type of person who has always just assumed callouts are fully honest. And siding with the victims immediately is always a must, especially if it’s about grooming minors, or severe abuse. At that time I was also under the impression DB was a minor, thus I automatically denounced Alex Kister. However, last night I wanted to see any updates regarding this development and I’m so glad I saw Ven’s tumblr post before he updated it, because it provided vital information (such as reminding everyone DB is an adult during all this) and I was able to see people’s responses to it. I decided to reread the document with this new, updated information in mind and I’m very upset with how badly this has gotten. Particularly about how feeble Ven’s doc is and how some of the things they said rubbed me the wrong way. For now, I’m just pointing out some things that really stood out to me with how much it didn’t make sense or it was particularly antagonizing toward Alex.
So… in the tumblr post Ven made, they were saying that the point of the doc wasn’t to say Alex was a groomer. And yet they made it VERY CLEAR that Alex’s gender identity was, in their opinion, a way for Alex to “lure victims”. Basically calling a transfem a predator cuz she expressed her gender identity AND sexuality relative to her gender identity to her partner and not minors. but Ven was also backing up from that claim, which clearly was the whole point of the doc???? But it was never stated in the introduction of the document. So first of all, I thought that was weird. It just said “Alex’s predatory and manipulative behavior.” Here we go.
So. Apparently a content creator wanting to make friends and connect with people is parasocial? Sure, content creators have to be aware of their “high status” or whatever, but i think people are also weird for idol worshipping in the first place. Alex (which I’ve seen stated uses any pronouns) has been self aware about parasocial relationships from the beginning and he’s not saying he never was aware of it. 😐 but several screenshots of him explaining himself tells that he never even thought about the potential power imbalance— he wanted some fucking friends.
These screenshots would show someone expressing their discomfort and assert their boundaries. And Alex always seemed very genuine in their apologies and would acknowledge the person’s feelings wholeheartedly. None of it was brushed off by her in the screenshots. She never downplayed anything. And yet you guys are still offended???????????????? Let me get this straight. You want someone to own up to their mistakes and apologize for making you feel weird, but when they do, you’re somehow still upset? Hm. Make it make sense. Like what the fuck you want, blood from a rock??????
By the way, what’s transphobic to one trans person might not be transphobic for someone else. As a gender-fluid person, I’m not going to be pissed off if a different gender fluid person “”“changes their gender every day”,””” (i say this particular thing because I’ve seen people act very upset over it while others aren’t) because it’s not my fucking business and it doesn’t affect me or my daily life. If they’re comfortable and happy, that’s all that matters. I have no say in what other trans people makes them comfortable with themselves. What’s transphobic is invalidating another trans person’s gender identity, expression, and sexuality, (which CAN co exist by the fucking way) and demonizing it just because you don’t like that person or you don’t want to try and understand them. Just so you know. :) that’s like misgendering someone on purpose just because they’re a terrible person, or saying neopronouns are invalid.
Here’s the thing: when you’re exploring gender identity, you’re not going to get it on the first fucking try. From what I’m seeing in the docs, this was Alex around the time they were first stepping into that comfort zone. They were trying new things. Wanting to feel comfortable. Wanting to be validated. Wanting to connect with other trans people. That’s what every trans person wants. You seriously shamed her for that? To the point where Alex admitted they felt so ashamed of their gender expression that they lied about saying it was joke? All to reassure everyone and make people feel better? Fuck you. You don’t fucking get to say what someone should and shouldn’t do regarding their body and gender— he wasn’t saying explicit things to the minors. Not stuff similar to what was said to Ven or D8 so why the fuck is anyone tripping??????
I will say that I understand why Ven would be concerned about this in the first place since when they dating Alex, Alex did make sexual comments about wanting to wear their clothes and look like them. I get it. But Ven, you were his partner, obviously when you guys were comfortably having intimate discussions that he’d be willing to share vulnerable desires with you regarding gender identity woven with sexuality. But why did you automatically, outside of your personal conversations with him, try so desperately to search for that in his convos with other people? When they had nothing to do with you I understand wanting to be concerned and looking out for other people but this was so blown out of proportion that it’s insane.
Alex trusted you so much. And one thing I was really disgusted by was the creepy ass way of you posting screenshots of his sexual fantasies. If Alex does decide to post YOURS you sent to HIM, you have no fucking right to be upset over it, okay? :) fair’s fair, my dude.
So this screenshot being posted after Ven writing in the document “venting to a minor about his sexual frustration” all I have to say is Ven what the fuck are you talking about? being touch-starved isn’t Inherently sexual. Why the fuck is Ven saying this is sexual frustration. ?????????????????????????????????????????? So it’s sexual when it’s said to a minor? Oh okay, good thinking, Ven. /sarcasm. I didn’t know cuddles and hugs were bad. I guess grown adults shouldn’t cuddle their children, or adults can’t hug their child family members. Idk what to say about the “I wish you lived closer thing” tbh because i don’t know what the person said— it could have been taken out of context. Which brings me to my next point.
Ven stated there were people who came forward with their own screenshots of what Alex said. But if someone is going to crop them into tiny little boxes and obscure what the victim said before and after, it’s going to be pretty fucking difficult to even make a proper judgment on whether or not the context is inappropriate, or if it was said to the actual victim themselves in the first fucking place. Sure, the screenshots aren’t fabricated, but we don’t know who the fuck they were sent to. That’s on y’all.
Btw I’m so fucking convinced none of these ppl have ever experienced normal, healthy friendships or relationships, oh my fucking god. No fucking basis for proper judgment, imo.
One thing that also pissed me off was Ven targeting Alex’s mental health and symptoms throughout the doc. They targeted Alex’s paranoia and suicidal tendencies. First off, I’m pretty sure everyone part of tmc + the fandom know that the most prominent themes of tmc are SUICIDE and religious trauma. I once saw Alex post a tweet about various poetry written during his high school years venting his depression and suicidal ideation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation way before that. I’m gonna be so honest, after seeing the way Ven twisted a lot of this around, when I look back on Ven saying “Alex said he’d kill himself if I broke up with him” makes me think Alex could have said something like “you mean a lot to me and I’d be devastated if we split.” like. I can’t be the only fucking person who thinks this. Alex has always been self aware. I know he’s really struggling right now.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!! You either genuinely don’t know what paranoia is (symptom of mental illness) or you, of course, are genuinely trying to demonize an aspect of someone’s symptoms they can’t control. All to justify your bullying against Alex. Maybe research what paranoia is, and you’d be more understanding of Alex.
Mental illness doesn’t fit into your neat little boxes, by the way. And everybody experiences mental illness differently, so don’t act like you 100% know what someone is going through. I understand wanting to see the people you care about getting therapy and professional support. But you don’t have the right to demonize them when they aren’t being outright shitty.
Not to mention, every single fucking time Alex would explain their feelings and perspectives, Ven, you would shut them down in the doc. Invalidating Alex’s feelings. That’s the sort of thing manipulative people do, just so you know, Ven!! The same type of person you claim Alex is!!! Don’t throw stones in glass houses. That’s coward behavior, and projection is damaging to both parties.
Im gojng to be so deadass right now. If I could nitpick every single little detail in Ven’s document that I found weirdly uncomfortable or suspicious or confusing, I’d be making my own goddamn google doc which would be two or three times as long as Ven’s.
This entire matter genuinely could have been dealt with privately. Alex even expressed that and Ven shut him down!!! Do you know how fucking frustrating that is? And no, Alex never shut you guys down so don’t even try and twist the blame back onto him. You wanted him to own up to what he’s done and said, but y’all don’t want to do the same. Sigh!
Also, what the fuck is the takeaway supposed to be? Y’all said he isn’t a groomer. Ven said somewhere in the doc that people aren’t trying to be transmisogynistic. But clearly you are fucking using Alex’s gender identity against her. I hope you burn in hell. Also, since none of the minors were being groomed, what the fuck are you trying to prove?????????? That wanting friends is fucked up and evil???? That you and D8, grown ass adults who were consensually engaging in sexual conversations with Alex, were fucking manipulated? Evidence shows you guys were comfortable with expressing your discomfort and asserting boundaries, but like I said, y’all are still pissed off Alex took accountability. You’re adults. Act like it.
I could go on and on about this shit but these are the key points I wanted to bring up. I saw the post that donut made and I read through it thoroughly but since there is no evidence suggesting Alex was grooming minors, and he was genuinely apologizing for making Donut and other people uncomfortable, it honestly came off as a kid (kids shouldn’t even be in online without a fucking parent’s supervision anyway) being a kid: immature. So I genuinely do not give a fuck. Have your parents watch what people say to you online.
I’m a 23 year old adult who’s been in both toxic and healthy friendships and relationships with people and I can honestly say y’all are fucking stupid for even writing these dumbass callouts. I’m looking forward to Alex’s response and I will be supporting him unless there is substantial evidence showing Alex is a bad person. Ok?
Feelings and perspectives are valid and important on both ends. You don’t need me to tell you that. The point of this post is that the doc was very feeble and lacked proper documentation at numerous points. you shouldn’t purposely misconstrue Alex’s words and actions just to make him look bad, especially if your evidence (screenshots, in this case) isn’t consistent or fully exposed. I will mention what I said earlier: plenty of people here, from what I saw, were able to express their feelings and assert boundaries just fine and Alex was completely open, and whoever needed that help definitely got it. Despite everything that has happened, I’m glad people did have others who understood what they felt.
I may be editing this post if I find I think certain things need to be (re)addressed or corrected. Because like I said, there are various things I want to point out. Stay updated or not!
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Hi! Sorry if I’m bothering you. Could you possibly do Hobie (or any of the Spider Squad) with a s/o who just kinda naturally looks sad? Like the reader isn’t actually sad they just naturally pout and have a slight frown on their face and everyone thinks they’re sad.
𝐎𝐟𝐜 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧! 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛*𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰!! 𝐓𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪!!
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞! 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬
✩☆ 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂!𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐘 𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ☆✩
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐠𝐰𝐞𝐧, 𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐞, 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐯𝐢𝐫.
★ 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰...
𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒
Honestly when he first met you, he was confused as to why you appeared so sad all the time. He would always ask you what’s wrong and be extremely confused when you told him you were fine. He prolly brought it up to hobie a few times out of concern. When you start dating him and explain that’s just the way your face naturally is, he mentally facepalms himself for his stupidity. He still feels a bit sad when you look sad, so will ask you to smile for him or make funny jokes and witty comments to see your face light up or to see you laugh and look happy for once.
𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐍
A lot like miles, she’s confused upon your first meeting. Did something happen? Did she say something to upset you? Are you just having a bad day? When she spends more time around you, her little detective brain comes up with two ideas. Idea 1, you’re depressed. Idea 2, you naturally have that resting face. When you begin dating, you confirmed idea 2 to be correct. She gets it, her resting face isn’t especially joyful either, but she’ll ask for a smile or make you giggle here and there so she can treasure the way your eyes light up and your lips curl into that smiles she adores more than anything.
𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐄
Hobie has met many people in his lifetime, so he immediately recognised that you aren’t actually sad, it’s just your resting face! And he gets it, his resting face is quite intimidating, people have come up to him and asked what happened or why hes mad, and hes had to just say his face is normally just like that. People also get that impression because he keeps his head high and walks with confidence. When you two inevitably start dating, he won’t forwardly ask you for a smile, but he’ll intentionally make you laugh and then look at you with the silliest grin as he mentally screenshots the way you look when you smile.
𝐏𝐀𝐕𝐓𝐈𝐑
Imma be for real, when he meets you he’s oblivious. I don’t think he pays much attention to peoples faces, in my mind he’s a bit (not extremely) hyper and is looking around or doing acrobatics in the air while swinging from structure to structure, but when he gets a good look at your face, he’s a bit like “why are you upset?” And will prolly offer you a hug 😭 he won’t pay attention to your face all that much before you start dating, so once ur dating and he begins to look at your features more, he’ll start to ask questions. THATS when you’re gonna have to explain to him ur face is just like that. And he’s like “oh. Ok cool, so you’re not sad?” 👁️👁️
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆
𝐈 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐛𝐡!! 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬.
𝐓𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!! 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟!! 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐤 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡
- 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐫
#atsv miles#atsv hobie#atsv gwen#atsv pavitr#miles morales headcanons#miles morales#hobie brown headcanons#hobie x reader#hobie spiderverse#hobie brown#hobie brown x reader#pavtir prabhakar#gwen stacy hcs#gwen stacy headcanons#gwen stacy#gwen stacy x reader headcanons#spidergwen x reader#spidergwen hcs#spiderpunk hcs#spiderpunk headcanons#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spider verse spoilers#across the spiderverse#atsv headcanons#spider gwen#atsv x you#spiderman atsv#atsv fic#reader x atsv#atsv x reader
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The Girls Part 13: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Photo credit to formula1.com
Word count: 4,548
Written by raelee / Posted Sep 15
Masterlist
Formula 1 Masterlist
The Girls Masterlist
“Goodnight,” I bend down, kissing the top of Lucy’s head. She peaks at me from behind her unicorn covered duvet with wide eyes. I hold back the eye roll, knowing what she really wants. “Dad is just saying goodnight to Ada, he’ll be here in a couple of minutes.”
“I’m right here, baby,” Charles suddenly appears behind me, leaning around me to gently caress Lucy’s jaw. My heart flutters at the feeling of his chest pressed against my back. “Goodnight, we’ll see you in the morning.”
I whisper a hushed goodnight to Lucy, looking over at Ada’s bed to see her already asleep. Charles and I make our way out of their bedroom. I close the door behind me as Charles heads towards the kitchen, grabbing the pans from dinner to wash.
I linger in the short hallway, my fingers playing with each other nervously. I know Charles won’t be upset by what I have to say- in fact, I’m sure he’s going to be ecstatic about it. But I also know that he’s going to get that smug look that he always gets and I really don’t want to be told ‘I told you so’ right now.
“What’s up?” Charles asks, glancing over his shoulder at me.
It’s also nice to just stand here and watch the muscles in his back move as he washes the pan.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you just staring at me?”
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, staring down at my painted toenails. It’s only when I look up to see that Charles has now turned around and is watching me in concern that I realize my actions might be giving off the wrong impression.
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah, of course,” he motions towards the table.
I pull out a chair, sitting on one side of the table while Charles sits on the other. He rests his forearms on the surface, leaning forward to show me that he’s fully engaged in whatever conversation we’re about to have.
“What do you want to talk about?” He asks.
I sigh, staring off to the side. I really want to put this off as long as I can. He reaches across the table, pulling my hands into his own. My heart stops as I shift my gaze forward, making eye contact with his gorgeous hazel eyes.
“Mon amour, you’re scaring me,” he whispers.
I’m suddenly aware of the way that I’ve been acting. I must look suspicious by avoiding eye contact and utilizing my nervous ticks.
“Oh, no, it’s not anything bad,” I reassure him, moving one of my hands up his arm to grab at his forearm. “I um, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately… that flat that you bought on the West End. Do you still have it?”
His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Yeah, why?”
“Maybe I was too rash and harsh with my decision,” I say sheepishly, “This flat does get very crowded with all of the girls' toys and clothes and it would be nice to not have to call the landlord because something is broken every week.”
A knowing, yet smug, smile begins to make its way across his face. “So what are you saying?”
I give him an annoyed look. “Don’t make me say it.”
“Oh, I’m going to make you say it.”
“Fine, I’ll just never say it,” I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. We stare at each other, waiting for the other one to break first.
We sit in silence.
Finally, he breaks, releasing a loud groan. “Fine, Y/N, will you, Ada, and Lucy move into a flat with me on the West End?”
“If it’ll make you feel better, we will move into a flat with you.” Now I’m the one giving him the smug smile.
He rolls his eyes, standing from the chair and pushing it back in. “How do you always have the upper hand?”
My mind flashes me back to those nights that Charles and I spent with each other between the sheets, bodies pressed against each other. When I make eye contact with Charles, he gives me a look that says that he knows what I was thinking about and that he was thinking of the same thing.
I didn’t have the upper hand then.
I stand from my chair, breaking both of us out of our lust-filled gazes and thoughts.
“That’s just the way that it is, baby.”
~
Y/N: I have off tomorrow so I’m going to take some of the things that we don’t use every day over to the new apartment
Charles: Sounds good, thanks. I can’t wait to see you and the girls more often.
Y/N: We can’t wait to see you more often too
“Oh, I know that grin,” Franny says in a sing-song tone.
My hand instantly locks my phone and I hold it close to my chest, looking up at her with wide eyes.
“Now that wasn’t suspicious at all.”
“What do you mean?” I question.
“The smile and blush while texting and then acting incredibly secretive about it. You don’t have to worry about our judgment, Y/N, we’re relaxed,” my manager encourages.
“I know who it is,” Kylie gives me a sly grin.
“Kylie,” I whine.
“What? Franny’s chill,” she shrugs.
I sigh, considering her words. It’s true, Franny is easy-going. And there’s nothing personal about not wanting to tell her who I’m blushing and smiling about, I know that she would be happy for me and encourage me to go after what my heart wants.
But… telling her makes it so much more real. I know from the way that my stomach flutters whenever I get a text or the way that my cheeks instantly redden when my phone rings with an incoming FaceTime call that my feelings for Charles have quickly turned into romantic ones. Saying it out loud and informing people means that other people will know. Which means they’ll ask me if I’ve asked him out yet, or kissed him, or done anything to turn our relationship romantic.
And with this public revelation- which admittedly has made us closer, causing a shift in our relationship and brought me and our daughters into the spotlight once again, I don’t want to do anything else to rock the boat.
“Franny…” I take a deep breath, “I think I like Charles.”
“Oh, I don’t think, I know,” Kylie adds, grabbing her tray and leaving the kitchen with a cheeky grin.
“Why don’t you look happy about it?” She asks cautiously.
“Because I’m not,” I cry out. “Charles is a great guy, and he’s awesome with Ada and Lucy and super cute but, I just can’t explore that with him right now, Franny. It just changes everything and I think everything has changed so much already lately.”
“I understand,” she agrees softly.
My gaze snaps to her in surprise, not expecting those words to exit her mouth. Kylie, the only other person I’ve talked about my feelings with, told me to go for it, which I expected. There’s so much encouragement to always chase your heart and do what you want because you only live once, but I don’t think people realize how much courage one must have to do those things.
“If you feel like not making a move is the best thing for everyone involved at this moment in time, don’t do it. But don’t push those emotions away entirely. One day the right time and place is going to come and you might want to confess them then,” she suggests.
I nod my head slowly. “That’s exactly how I feel, Franny. Thank you.”
~
As I carry the wad of bubble wrap from what’s going to be my bedroom into the main room, I’m distracted by the sound of my phone vibrating on the counter. I set the bubble wrap down, replacing its place in my hand with my phone. Lando’s contact photo shows up.
I hesitate, deciding whether to answer it or not. I’ve still been ignoring my siblings attempts to reach out, not on purpose anymore, though. I’ve just been busy with work, university, and being a full-time single mom again since Charles has had back-to-back race weekends lately, and moving with two toddlers definitely hasn’t been easy.
Heck, I’m sure Charles is growing concerned with how little I’ve been responding to him, and I talk to him the most.
Something inside tells me to answer the phone, though, so I do.
“Hey Lando.”
“Hey,” there’s an awkward pause, “How have you been?”
“Busy,” I confess, not wanting to expand much on that in fear of how Lando will react to me and Charles moving in together. That’s an argument that I don’t want to start when we have a million other things to fight about.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he laughs. “Me too. Um, I just wanted to give you a heads up.”
I bite my lip in anxiety. That’s never a good thing to hear. I slide into one of the new barstools. “Okay, I’m sitting, lay it on me.”
“I saw that post about Ada and Lucy on that gossip page and then Charles’ post confirming it. And I was talking to mum about it last night and she kind of let it slip that our cousin Sarah, Aunt Beth’s daughter, was the one who was sharing the photos through an anonymous account on social media.”
It’s quiet as I digest the information.
“And she didn’t even tell me?” I whisper out.
“She didn’t know how,” he explains, and maybe it’s just my perception because of my relationship with my mother, but it sounds defensive. “You guys already don’t have the best relationship and she was afraid that adding this to the mix would make it even worse.”
“She still could’ve told me, this is my daughters lives and privacy, not just something like the grocery store being out of fucking popsicles,” I angrily wipe at the tears building in my eyes. “And Sarah- ugh, I’ve always known that she’s a bitch.”
“She gets it from Aunt Beth,” Lando agrees.
“Well, thanks for telling me, Lan.”
“Yeah, of course. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up the phone, setting it down to wipe at the remaining tears on my face. As soon as I do, my phone rings with another phone call.
If it’s that bitch Sarah I’m ripping her to shreds.
Instead, it’s just Charles. That’s sad, I was kind of looking forward to laying into Sarah.
She also stole my favorite Barbie doll when we were six.
“Hello?” I answer the phone.
“Hey,” he pauses, “Are you okay? You sound a little different.”
“Yeah, Lando just told me that our cousin was the one who shared the photos of the girls to the press.” I sniffle back the tears at the thought of the betrayal.
I can't believe my own family would do something like that. Stabbing a family member in the back is the ultimate form of betrayal, and it’s something that we can never recover from, not that Sarah would care. It’s just embarrassing that it was someone so close to me- knowing that my family would sell out the privacy that I so desperately value and crave for my daughters is humiliating when you compare it to how loyal Charles’ family has been throughout this whole process. And he didn’t even know that he was a dad- that’d be some juicy gossip to leak to the press but they didn’t.
And my own mother not telling me? No matter what her excuse is, that’s a stab in the back.
“I’m sorry, Charles,” I add, letting out a bitter chuckle. “It’s so embarrassing to have a family that’s willing to go against our wishes like this.”
He’s quiet for a minute, which makes my heart race. Is he about to chew me out on how disloyal my family is? Tell me to delete all of my family off of my social media and never to speak to them again?
Instead, the words that leave his mouth surprise me.
“How would you feel about coming to visit Monaco?”
“What?” I stutter out.
“We have a week break between Mexico and Brazil. I can get a couple more days off, go back to England to help you pack and take care of the girls on the plane, and we can spend a week or so in Monaco. They can meet my brothers and mom, you can see my family again,” he suggests.
I know what he’s trying to do. Since I have a troubled relationship with my immediate family and now a strained relationship with my extended family, he’s extending his family to me. He wants the girls to meet his family because in a way, them being loved by his family is a way of me being loved by his family. And at least then the girls can have a healthy relationship with one side of their family.
“I don’t know, Charles,” I confess hesitantly. “Don’t you think it’s too much right now? With moving and your recent post, don’t you think it’s too busy and the spotlight is on you right now?”
“Mon amour, I don’t think there’s a better time to do it.”
I take a deep breath, nodding before I realize that he can’t see me. “Okay. Yeah, we’ll go to Monaco.”
~
“Do you want me to grab anything, Charles?” I ask, watching as he stumbles and drops another bag.
“No, just take care of them,” he nods at Ada and Lucy. I nod silently, watching him struggle as he leads us down the hallway, Ada gripping one of my hands and Lucy gripping the other.
“Where are we going?” My eyes dart around nervously.
I let Charles handle all of the details around this trip. Despite my need to be in control and in the know, with everything on my plate right now I just thought it would be best for Charles to figure out flight details and where we’re staying.
“To the private jet landing.” He glances back at me before I can question him about it, dropping Ada’s backpack. She lets out a shriek at the action and he gives her a quiet apology, picking it up. “I told Max about how nervous you are flying with the girls for the first time and he offered for us to use AirMax.”
I smile at the act of consideration, my chest fluttering at the thought of him talking about me to his rival. “Thank you, Charles.”
~
Despite it being a little over an hour’s long plane ride to Nice, Ada passes out in the first five minutes of the flight. Charles is seated in the window seat while I’m sitting next to him, Ada nestled in the crook of his arm between the plane wall and his body with her eyes closed and her stuffed dolphin gifted from Lando gripped tightly in her hands.
Lucy sits on my lap, trying her best to play with her stuffed moose but finding it difficult with her eyes constantly opening and closing. Finally, she succumbs to sleep, her entire little body splayed out on top of mine. I do my best to shift into a more comfortable position without waking her, freezing when she begins to move.
“Hey,” the Ferrari driver catches my attention, motioning for me to put my arm on the aisle armrest.
I do so, watching as he slowly rests his free arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side.
It’s like my breathing stops because I’m so close to him. I haven’t been this close to him in a long time.
I can smell his cologne.
“Is this okay?” He murmurs into my ear.
“Yeah,” I whisper, looking down at Lucy to hide my blush. I adjust her body so that her head is resting on my arm on the armrest, the rest of her body laying across my lap and into Charles’ lap.
It’s still not the most comfortable position- but I’m not going to tell Charles that.
For now I’m going to be grateful that I’m able to be so close to him again.
~
Spending time with Charles in Monaco is special. From the way that his eyes light up while showing the girls his old school, or the way that he lifts them into his yacht, everything is used as an opportunity for him to show our toddlers his home and safe space.
“Gentle, Lucy,” I wince as she runs her hand along the side of the black convertible, painted nails that need to be trimmed making a quiet noise along the paint.
Charles chuckles at the action and I look over at him with a playful glare.
“It’s an expensive car, Charles, it costs like trillions of dollars,” I point out like he doesn’t already know.
“I know it’s expensive, it’s my car. And it didn’t cost trillions of dollars.” He moves around the car, rubbing his thumb against a mark that Lucy left. It doesn't come off. “And I can always just buy new cars.”
I roll my eyes at his nonchalant attitude, watching as Ada and Lucy run around the room filled with all of Charles’ expensive and exotic cars. One of the first places he wanted to take us in Monaco was to see his car collection in the museum, and he even got the place shut down so that we didn’t have to worry about any wandering eyes or sly photographs.
“So tonight my mom is going to make pasta and chicken. Do you want alfredo sauce or marinara sauce?” Charles asks, looking down at his phone.
“Either works.”
He glances up at me but I watch as Ada falls onto the ground, instantly picking herself back up. He finishes his text before shoving his phone into his pocket, looking back over at me.
“What’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“The whole purpose of this trip was for my family to meet the girls and for you to see them again but you act weird whenever I mention them,” he comments.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He gives me an unimpressed look at the response.
“Fine, I’m nervous that your family doesn’t like me,” I confess.
“What do you mean? When you worked for Lando and spent all of your time in the paddock my family loved talking to you.”
“Yeah but that was years ago. And since then I’ve had your babies and kind of, you know, kept them a secret from you,” I say sheepishly, still embarrassed by my behavior.
“My family is a lot more empathetic than you think, Y/N.”
A lot more empathetic than your family, are the hidden words.
“Yeah, maybe I’m overthinking it,” I sigh, watching as the girls poke a tire and giggle.
A familiar arm winds its way around my waist and we stand together, watching our daughters play.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right beside you the whole time.”
~
“Mama, we’re home,” Charles cheers as he enters through the front door, holding it open for me.
My heart beats fast in my chest with anxiety as I follow behind him, Lucy clenched tightly in my arms as a comfort blanket while Ada’s in Charles’ arms.
There’s shrieking and then footsteps running on the hardwood floor, Pascale suddenly appearing before us.
“Oh,” she coos, reaching out to hold Ada’s face in her hands. Ada stares shyly back at her nana, unsure of how to act. Pascale makes the same noise, caressing Lucy’s face now. In true Lucy fashion, she flashes a charming smile, leaning into her nana’s hold.
“Hi Y/N,” Pascale grins at me.
I give a soft smile back, surprised by the warm welcome. Of course I didn’t expect a toxic environment, Charles’ family is and has always been very kind and welcoming. And we do have a good history with each other. Just not a good recent history…
“I’m going to go check on the pasta, everyone else is in the living room,” Pascale informs us before heading off towards the kitchen.
Charles leads the way into the living room where his two brothers and two women, presumably their girlfriends, are chatting. Arthur and Lorenzo stand once they see us, pulling Charles into bro hugs.
To my surprise, Arthur turns to me.
“Hey, Y/N,” he leans forward, giving me a one-armed hug as to not disturb Lucy’s position.
“Hi, Arthur.”
“How’s it going?” Lorenzo questions, pulling me into another one-armed hug.
“Good, how are you?”
“Good. So this is Lucy?” He reaches forward, lightly brushing his pinky along her knuckles.
She stares at him inquisitively, but doesn’t back down. Ada, on the other hand, shies back into Charles’ arms as Arthur grins at her. Hurt flashes over Arthur’s face and my chest pangs at the action. I should’ve thought about the girls’ reactions to eventually meeting Charles’ family when I decided to never introduce them to him. I just never thought about these things.
“Looks like you should’ve trained her better,” one of the women comments.
“She’s a toddler, not a dog, Charlotte,” Charles tries to appear like he’s joking but his tone is tense.
“Dinner’s ready,” Pascale calls out before an argument begins.
The other girl introduces herself to me on the way to the dining room as Carla, Arthur’s girlfriend, while Charlotte is Lorenzo’s girlfriend.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if the girls used a special kind of booster seat so I just got whatever they had at the store,” Pascale apologizes to me.
“Oh no, these work perfectly fine. You didn’t have to buy these for us,” I tell her.
“Nonsense, now we have them for the next time they come,” she smiles at me.
I smile back, turning to face Charles as he places a hand on my back. “I can get our plates if you want to get the girls situated.”
I nod, helping the girls settle into their seats. Charles gets the plates ready for Ada, Lucy, me, and himself, and we settle around the table with the rest of his family.
“So Y/N, Charles says that you’re studying journalism,” Arthur makes conversation as we eat.
“Yeah, I am.”
“When are you done studying?”
“I actually fast-tracked my program so I’m graduating next year,” I inform them.
“Do you know what you’re doing after you graduate?” Carla questions.
“I’d like to work in true crime journalism.”
I know it’s just small talk, but this kind of feels like an interrogation. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to being asked about my life, or having adult conversations at all, but it feels like they’re trying to figure me out. Which I understand, because I’ve become a crucial figure in Charles’ life, but it doesn’t make me any less nervous.
“Do you know where?”
Arthur asks the question that makes me understand. They’re not trying to catch me saying something that they don’t like, they’re trying to bring me further into Charles’ life. Part of it is probably for Charles’ benefit, and the other part is probably because they want to see Ada and Lucy more as well.
My heart soars at that thought.
“I haven’t thought about that yet,” I admit.
“Well, you should. As a mother you should plan,” Charlotte comments snottily.
“Being a mother makes it harder to plan,” I joke.
Everyone laughs except Charlotte, who gives me a glare.
We make small talk throughout the rest of dinner and I feel myself calming down and becoming more comfortable. Ada and Lucy become more comfortable as well, leaving with Charlotte, Carla, Charles, Lorenzo, and Arthur to go out on the balcony and watch the sunset.
“I can help you cleanup, Pascale,” I offer, bringing dirty dishes into the kitchen.
“You’re such a dear,” she sighs in relief.
She begins to wash the dishes in the sink as I stand by with a dishcloth to dry.
“I know Charlotte was rude towards you tonight but just ignore it. Charles was very upset when he first found out about the girls and she never got over that reaction, no matter how many times he told us that your relationship is better now,” she reassures me.
I nod weakly, not sure how to respond to that. I feel bad thinking it, but I don’t know how it’s any of Charlotte’s business. From what I gathered during dinner, Charlotte and Lorenzo’s relationship is fairly new, so it’s not like she’s known Charles for such a long time that his emotions greatly affect hers. But even then… if Charles could find a way to get over it, why couldn’t she? And why would she constantly feel the need to comment her negative feelings about it, especially in front of our daughters?
“Look at that,” Pascale laughs, staring out the window towards the balcony where Lorenzo holds Ada in his arms, playing got-your-nose with her while she watches in wonder.
It’s a sweet moment between an uncle and his niece. But it reminds me of all of the moments that I’ve robbed from them. And it’s not like they were feeling love and affection from my side of the family either- so for almost two years they’ve been neglected from feeling grandparent and aunt or uncle love. They could be running into Lorenzo or Arthur’s arms instead of just meeting them for the first time.
Tears prick in my eyes at the thought.
“I’m sorry, Pascale,” my voice cracks.
She turns to face me with concern, face breaking once she sees mine. “Oh, darling.”
The facet turns off and she dries her hands, pulling me into a hug. My arms wind around her tightly and I hug her, appreciating the feeling of a motherly hug for as long as I can.
“I know you are,” she reassures me, rubbing my back. “I also know how much you’ve changed and grown. Charles tells these stories about you and his face just lights up. You’ve made mistakes, yes, but his admiration for has never and will never fade. In fact, seeing you as a mother has made it grow.”
I stare at her with wide eyes. Charles admires me? I guess I kind of knew that already from him not bringing up the custody conversation anymore, but I’ve never actually had any confirmation about it. But hearing it from his mom… it must be true.
“I’ll never hurt him again, Pascale, I swear,” I whisper to her.
“I believe you.”
She pulls away from me, going back to washing the dishes. I dry them and we talk about everything and anything. We talk about Lando’s successful season, I sway her away from asking about the rest of my family, then I ask her about the latest haircut trends.
By the end of the night, I’m carrying a sleeping Ada in my arms as Charles carries a sleeping Lucy, shoes and sweatshirts on so we can head back over to Charles’ flat for the night.
“Do you want to do a family beach day tomorrow?” Arthur suggests.
I smile at him. “That sounds fun.”
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I know it's totally wrong for what you're shooting for but your stories make me feel bad for Clark. All these folks judging him, when as far as he can tell Kon doesn't even want to be around him. And honestly, he's had clones before. No one expected him to mourn when a Bizarro degraded
. . . okay, friend, first off I apologize, because I def got carried away with this response and it turned into a bit of a rant, hah. Please don't take any of this the wrong way or get the impression I'm annoyed by this ask or anything, I just fundamentally disagree with SO many things about how Clark's relationship with Kon has been handled in canon and apparently I had to word-vomit a lot of that out here and now in explanation of why I tend to write Clark as being Objectively Wrong about Kon/how he treats Kon.
A) There's no convincing reason I can think of that Clark should think Kon doesn't want to be around him, and if he DID, why would he have given him permission to wear the El crest to begin with, much less offered him either the name "Superboy" or "Kon-El"? Especially Kon-El, because that's a name that originated from a specifically ADOPTED member of his birth family, and Clark offered it to him while CALLING him family, but also . . . lying to him about having a secret identity? And whole-ass other life??
and also
B) I actually WOULD expect Clark to mourn a Bizarro degrading. That's like his whole deal, in my experience of him across various media: Clark Kent is a person who thinks that every person matters and is undeniably the kind of guy that would be upset by someone suffering from genetically-inevitable degradation. Especially if the people suffering that degradation only exist to suffer it because HE, Clark "I Am Personally Responsible For This Whole Damn Planet, And Yes That IS A Threat" Kent, exists.
Like, Clark always takes way too much on himself. So it doesn't really make sense to me that a dude like that would take one look at a kid with his own face who is actually at best about a month old and just decide "yeah, this person doesn't need me ever involved in their life at all" and STICK with that assessment even through repeated problems, near-death experiences, and straight-up disasters. ESPECIALLY because Clark already knew Matrix, and she was ALSO a genetic experiment who'd been made in his image by someone he didn't have any reason to trust. But he still took Mae to his parents' farm and let her live there pretty much immediately, trusted her with SO many of his secrets and even trusted her living with his parents without, again, having to jump through ANY of the MULTITUDE of hoops that Kon did to earn a similar level of trust, and she eventually started dating literal LEX LUTHOR and Clark still trusted her after THAT!
( I mean, I think everyone thought Lex was his own son at the time or something weird like that, Because Comics, but still! STILL!! )
Shit, Clark still trusted Mae after she had a mental breakdown ON HIS PARENTS and tried to attack him and had a severe enough psychotic break that she thought she literally WAS him! Mae very quickly proved herself to be WAY more dangerous and hostile than Kon has EVER been outside of being directly mind-controlled, but from the jump Clark is way more invested in her and her life and CARES way more about her and her life. And later he responds to Kara just as differently as he did Mae, despite her ALSO debuting as both a more dangerous and more hostile person than Kon. So like . . . there's a bit of a double-standard going there, it kind of feels like? Like, at least on a meta-level. And I'm sure most of it's editorial nonsense and the kind of narrative problems that lie inherent in like . . . what, thirty-plus years of comic history and about eight bajillion different writers and the like, obviously, but it just is REAL hard to justify that behavior in the actual narrative when Clark Kent is meant to be the moral paragon that the entire damn rest of the DC universe is meant to set its metaphorical watch by.
Either way, though, I'm usually trying to write Clark as either sympathetic or at least understandable in his logic, even when it's flawed, so I wouldn't really say it's "wrong" if you feel sympathy for him while reading my writing. Like, I'm not saying he's in the right in those specific fics, but I do still want to be empathetic to his point of view. It is again just REALLY hard for me to explain a lot of Clark's canon relationship with Kon in any way other than "benign neglect due to just deliberately assuming that all Kryptonians are always Perfectly Fine, Thanks due to his own personal issues about what 'Superman' represents", and that's the KIND option.
Long story short, I really just don't care what DC says, It is NOT on the brand-new teenager with zero life experience who Clark deliberately LET put an S-shield-shaped target on their back to single-handedly foster a relationship with the perfect superhero idol that most of the damn world looks up to. I genuinely cannot think of a single significant occasion where Clark ever does anything for Kon that involves CLARK having to put in any kind of recurring effort, but we're supposed to accept that KON has to earn scraps of Clark's attention and the right to be considered a part of his family over and over again--while Clark, again, doesn't have to do anything to earn Kon's attention or the right to be considered a part of HIS family? Ever? Even ONCE??
Relationships are two-way streets, DC! That's just how relationships are, DC!! Otherwise it's just parasocial bullshit or someone taking advantage of someone else, DC!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I really love Clark, I think he's a great character in a lot of fascinating ways and that he is VERY interesting and affecting when he's done well ("you can do anything you want, and all you want to do is help people" HELLO CRYING IN THE CLUB RN), but like . . . come on, DC, what the fuck and WHY?
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Random Rambles And Theories About Alastor Go!
Ok, so right now I am on a high with all the recent Alastor lore we've been blessed with in Hazbin Hotel, and this little murderer has been occupying my mind 24/7. I really need to get all my theories and rambles out that I don't see a lot of people talking about.
(BTW, before my ramble, I have seen many places say he was mixed race as a human, but if I am wrong, please let me know, because this delves deep into that with his human life.)
(Also be warned for a bit of gore/violence and that this thing is kind of long)
Now let's begin!
I'll start with the most talked about theory with Alastor: his connections with Lilith and why he reacted the way he did with Lucifer
The show has given us what many people think are hints to this with both of them gone for 7 years, the slight eye twitch in the pilot when he looked at liliths portrait, Alastor showing up right after Charlie finished voicmailing her mom also in the pilot, how he knew about Charlie's Daddy Issues before she seemed to have told anyone, the leash comment from Husker, and how Alastor reacted to Lucifer.
Now, all of these could be chalked up to Alastor having some sort of nice relations to Lilith, but some of these are a bit too far stretched to just be because he has interacted nicely with Lilith in my eyes.
I have seen many people talk about how Alastor must have gotten a bad impression of Lucifer because either him and Lilith are besties and talk crap about him after the split, or he listened to her complaints about him and got an impression off of that to dislike him this much right off the bat in episode 5.
But I don't think that's it. We see how badly Alastor reacted to the leash comment by Husker, which definitely isn't a good sign that he would even trust the words of whoever is holding that 'leash' against him. He seemed pushed over the edge, vulnerable enough to lash out, which is unlike himself. Whatever deal he made for his soul, was most likely under threat, a life or death choice.
This is why I think he despises (most likely) Lilith or whoever has that 'leash' on him. He lashes out, sensitive about the subject. After gaining so much power over the overlords, he suddenly gets toppled over again by someone of (most likely) higher status, being forced into an unwilling contract, now just another pawn that this demon(?) can use for their own desires, and he doesn't want to be that, he needs to make his own decisions. But he doesn't have any say in the matter.
So I think why he was mocking and teasing Lucifer so much was because of his connection with Lilith. Everyone knew how deeply in love they were (before they split) and how they are both the most powerful demons in hell. I think Alastor took a chance to use his pent up anger on Lucifer, trying to get him to hurt as much as he can because of what Lilith did, all the while Lucifer cant do anything too serious leat he upset Charlie. We know he is extremely petty, after all. (we can also see him (most likely) letting off some steam when devouring the loan sharks, with him getting unnecessarily big and just letting loose on a couple of low-tier goons)
I saw another person talk about how Alastor has no power over Lucifer/Lilith, no political power, and he can't beat them in games of wits either. But the one thing that he does have the upper hand on, is their daughter, and I completely agree with that.
Alastor has been there since the beginning, has helped Charlie out and talked with her more than her own Parents had in the last couple of years probably. He's seen how attached the parents are to Charlie, and decided to use that info in full force. Just look at the Lucifer/Alastor duet.
Now that we have my theories of the life and death contract with Lilith, let's go deep into what I think is Alastors character right now:
Alastor, a mixed child in the early 1900's most likely had it really rough. With being treated as less than from both sides for being to dark/light to the violence that he most likely had to endure during his childhood.
This could have been where his anger/obsessive resentment started to simmer up in sporadic bursts over the years and years of belittlement, abuse, and racism.
Like I said before, he was probably treated as less than human for his mixed skin, and Alastor most likely started to hate it. His skin, the people, everything seemed so wrong. Why should the people who beat him and his mother see them so vulnerable and weak. He decided he didn't like that anymore.
So the radio show started. I got this idea from when he said his face was only made for radio. Over the radio, no one ever knew what you looked like. Just your voice would be broadcasted, and no one would ever see who was really behind the microphone unless they stepped out. This seemed like a barrier to Alastor. Letting himself go with no worries about letting people see him vulnerable behind his broadcast. (Maybe that's why he hates TV and modern tech so much; people can see everything about you)
And when his radio show became a hit and people wanted pictures and news? What would protect him then? Simple: his unwavering smile. Reactions are what people want when they crush others. They want to see them wallow and beg cry from what they have done. But Alastor won't let anyone do that to him ever again.
He stands his guard, not letting any comments get to him, keeping charming smile and unwavering voice all throughout his career as a radio host. Keep the smile up, dont have your voice crack, never show weakness. If you stop, those that wait will sink their teeth in and never let go of you. That's what I think a part of his mentality is and is maybe a part of why his smile is stitched on in his demonic form.
Now onto why I think he's a serial killer/cannibal. Remember when I said he had lots of unchecked anger and obsessive resentment? All this now simmering even more while being pushed down by his persona?
This is when he'll break loose.
He usually goes for the ones with the least amount of defense: drunkards/ bar frequenters. I though of this when Mimzy said he used to always come to the bar she was performing at and how he could drink like a sailor.
He might've drank with people to let their guard down in addition to his non-threatening charm, and he probably built a tolerance to be at least a bit sober when the others are full out drunk so he can easily transport and kill them.
He probably enjoys killing/eating his victims because a) it shows how he has power now. How he isn't a helpless victim anymore and he's finally in control of his life or b) where he likes seeing privileged people beaten and bruised for once, the gratification of seeing someone taste their own medicine by his own hand, like revenge, even if that person hadn't been necessarily bad towards him.
His death ro me is the same that everyone else thinks, where he's burying some victims body and gets mistaken for a deer, then shot straight between the eyes. What I do think a bit differently is that he was chased by hunting dogs first, which alerted the hunter for him to get shot, which then led to his fear of dogs.
Then he was finally free to do anything. Hell had no limits, he didn't have to hide his carnage anymore. But now that smile he wore was engraved into his face, almost making it impossible to frown. But that didn't matter. Not right now. Alastor has so many emotions bubbling up that he just wanted blood to be on his hands.
And then he slaughtered the overlords and took their souls within weeks ( maybe months, idk how quick he killed them, but ima go with weeks), broadcasting it over the radio to show everyone what he's been up to.
Alastor had kept this routine for a couple of decades, occasionally getting a guest star on his broadcast by those who he seems fit.
But maybe he had become too cocky with this power high, as he had been attacked by holy weaponry right before the extermination he dealth with most of them, but a shot did make it into his shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain, unable to move. (a bit simple, but I imagine him getting badly hurt by angels/angelic weaponry to lethal levels and Lilith decides to save him)
He fought hard when the angels arrived, of course, but he could only go so far in being this injured. So when he was about to get stabbed in the chest by a holy spear, he was already tired and almost accepted his fate, before being pulled somewhere by Lilith herself.
This is where Lilith offers a beat and broken Alastor a one time deal: become her servant or she'll throw him back to the exterminators herself. And in a situation like this, there's usually only one option you can really take.
And so he was a ghost, leaving everything he had behind. His power, his respect, his freedom...
Now Alastor had become a pawn again. A tool useful for the right situations, and just a toy to be played with by Lilith. This is exactly what he didn't want from his human life. The humility, the disregard, treating him as some sort of street animal, no matter what he did.
And now she orders him to guard her daughters hotel, giving him back a piece of his power to protect the hotel.
Alastor had hated Charlie for how she misused her amazing power for something like redemption.
Alastor hated Lucifer, for having all that power, being the strongest demon in hell, yet taking it for granted while mocking him about his choices.
And Alastor hated Lilith, for trapping him again, and renewing his endless cycle of suffering.
So those are my thoughts about Alastor. I think you can tell he's my favorite. I just love his powers and lore.
#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel thoughts#Im literally feral for this crazy deer guy#asexual#is Alastor Ace or AroAce in canon?#idek anymore#lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#lilith hazbin hotel
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Spock's SNW Human-isms (Apparently an Essay)
This has gotta be one of my favorite parts of the episode. Everyone's already talked about Boimler's polite way of telling Chapel her and Spock's relationship is doomed and not worthy of note in the history books. Versus Spock and Kirk's legendary friendship romance T'hy'la status.
I am on the one hand, upset that Spirk will never be fully canon (because paramount is weak and so are it's homophobic fans), but delighted they're not really banking on the easy "Chapel was Spock's true love all along" because that would be fuckin disingenuous as hell, if you've watched ANY TOS episode or movie. Like, absolutely ridiculous. Beyond insane, and I can understand why it worries fans watching SNW. (though I think the reaction to them having any relationship is a bit much and childish).
Anyway, seeing Spock's early life and his fight between his supposed "human side" and "vulcan side" is such a big aspect of his early character. I get the impression that Spock fought hard to be Vulcan while he was growing up there, but held resentment to not being able to show his mother the "human" affection he thought she deserved. He saw her being ridiculed, her loneliness, his own loneliness when he couldn't fit in, and it broke his heart. A war between his emotions and his duties constantly firing. So enough is enough, he leaves Vulcan, because it's not right for him. And joins starfleet.
Starfleet's motto is accepting all kinds of people and understanding them. But lets be real, starfleet accepts Spock's skill, but not his personality or behaviors. He generally gets along with his crewmembers, but they don't really know him. Barring a few exceptions, maybe Captain Pike? But also not really. Captain Pike loves Spock, but my impression is he doesn't always get him. Not like Jim will.
Chapel gives the same vibes. She says she accepts Spock for who he is. But she likes the idea of the human!Spock inside of him. His human side who understood her better. Who, honestly, I think she would have kept if she was less ethical. But she's not. She's a good person, and that's not who Spock is, so it's not what she wants. But it's still this ideal of Spock she's grasping to. Of course, she doesn't want a more human Spock, that's a cruel thing to say, to think even. But ultimately Spock will never given her the behavior and emotional support she's looking for. It's just not there.
My impression of SNW Spock is that, he likes both T'Pring and Chapel, they're his friends, he loves them like a friend would, he protects them like a friend would. But both Chapel and T'Pring personify his human and vulcan ideals. They're the embodiment of what he should want. Not what he actually wants.
And once Chapel breaks his heart (possibly to "save" his amazing future), he will discard his attempts at "human" behavior. Begin to resent it. Hell, get a little racist with it. LMAO (Thinking of his interactions with McCoy - who's so human, or so willing to show his emotions, it irks Spock, because he tried that!)
It will be the crux of his feelings of shame. With Jim. Who's friendship and love is so important to him. But he just can't do it again. Quite possibly, maybe he should never try to love anyone again, because he's tried, and both options were so obviously wrong. How can he possibly fit in with another being?
But he can, because Jim's actually quite a vulcan human in some ways. Duty is the name of Jim's game. The greater good. The way Jim has decided to look at his own life and his family, and decided to take his experiences in a logical capacity rather than the emotional one Sam has taken everything in. Spock and Kirk are compatible, so naturally, that Spock and Kirk never had to try, they just know each other and understand each other. AND damn, everything about SNW just confirms Spirk, but I wish ffs, that they would "canonize" it.
#Where No Man Has Gone Before and Then Some#star trek#star trek tos#star trek snw#strange new worlds#spirk#snw spirk#tos spirk#This is too long aint no one gonna read this#but I had to write it out for myself#also it's probably riddled with spelling errors#but I do not feel like proofreading lmao#I just love spirk so much
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The Apothecary Diaries
S1E8 First Watch
Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.
If you want to start at the beginning:
Episode 1
My character cheat sheet
Luomen - Maomao's father
Verdigris House - brothel
Meimei - courtesan at Verdigris House
Lihaku - the military officer who took Maomao home
Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's residence
Hongniang - head LIW at Jade Pavilion
Maomao wakes up at her father's house and is disoriented, her subconscious not having adjusted to the change. She comments on her oily hair, already missing the comforts of the Rear Palace. We are seeing a Maomao who wants to feel at home in her father's home, but no longer does. It's like that saying, "you can never go home again."
Maomao worries about her father's ability to keep working since he's becoming elderly. Maomao isn't there to tend the herb garden and help him. What will become of him if she remains in the palace?
A servant from a brothel comes to get help. There is an emergency and two people have collapsed. Maomao takes charge and is able to resuscitate a man who stopped breathing. Her medical skills truly are all encompassing.
She requests charcoal and sends the servant girl to fetch Maomao's father, but on the way out the girl glares at Maomao. Is she upset that Maomao saved the courtesan and her customer? Does she resent being sent on this errand? We shall have to wait and see.
And hmmm, I'm still leery of this father-daughter dynamic. Maomao saved two people's lives and all her father tells her is that she has done a "fair job." Maomao responds with sarcasm but I get the impression this is fairly common. Maomao striving to impress her difficult to please father. This really puts into perspective why she responds so well to the praise she receives it at the Rear Palace. She's craving validation.
Luomen is a medical genius, one that Maomao has been trying to live up to all of her life. In her time learning with her father, Maomao has absorbed a lot of knowledge and experience but doesn't recognize the greatness of her own abilities as she sees them only in how they compare to her father.
Maomao thinks there is something wrong with the story that the two people she saved were trying to kill themselves. She goes to check on the man and prevents the young servant girl who scowled at her earlier from murdering the man.
Turns out the guy Maomao saved was an ass who would lead on courtesans and break hearts. He's the son of a wealthy merchant who simply smooths away any issues with money. Attempts on his life had been made before and this is merely the latest. Maomao agrees to remain quiet on this issue since making it known would cause problems for the ladies of the brothel. Hoes before bros.
Maomao can't stop thinking about it though. She knows it was a murder attempt and she has figured out the clever way it was committed, but there are so many people involved. She questions who knew what and to what degree they played a part. Then she shuts down those thoughts.
Maomao's father scolds her for conjecturing out loud and later she scolds herself. Speaking her thoughts on a case was always something she was encouraged by Jinshi to do in the Rear Palace and it bothers me to see her feel like she has to silence her thoughts now.
While she is in the Rear Palace, Maomao's detective abilities are appreciated by Jinshi and she blossoms with his encouragement. Now, back in the Pleasure District, she is overlooked, literally paid to hush up, and scolded.
Maomao compares the Pleasure district to the Rear Palace. Something she did in episode one when she first arrived. Both are beautiful gardens and cages. She uses a poison metaphor, stating that the environment poisons the people that are trapped in it and they go on to poison others in turn.
She is probably thinking about the courtesan who attempted to murder her troublesome client, but it's worth asking, has Maomao herself been poisoned by her environment?
Does she think that the changes in herself are poisonous? Is that why she scolded herself for her conjectures? Does she think her time at the Rear Palace has poisoned her so that she feels at liberty to speak about conjectures when those thoughts are best kept silent?
Perhaps the truth is that Maomao's poisoning happened before she ever arrived at the Rear Palace. Her father's strict parenting style and theories about what should or should not be said have poisoned Maomao into silence. She literally lets a would be murderer walk free here because she won't speak her thoughts. This is drastically different from the Rear Palace. In the Rear Palace, Jinshi supports her both by encouraging her to speak her thoughts, and by handling whatever problem is revealed. She's supported and encouraged in the palace, here she is silenced and alone.
Maomao finally gets her bath and Meimei joins her. It is nice to know that the people here worried about her and missed her. Then Meimei asks hesitantly, if Maomao has been out to the annex. To which Maomao responds "not yet." My, how cryptic. Based on the emotions they are both skirting around it has to be something meaningful.
I haven't explored a wild theory in awhile. Let's go down a rabbit hole for a moment. Based on the level of emotion revealed by Meimei's question, maybe the annex has something to do with Maomao's mother? I'm remembering what Luomen said about how strange a twist of fate it is that Maomao is in the palace. And I wonder if "the annex" is part of the palace. Is Maomao's mother in the palace? Or maybe she was. If Maomao came out of the palace, is it possible that she actually does come from a higher social status? One high enough that she becomes a more appropriate match for Jinshi? I'm remembering when she asked him not to touch her because her status is so much lower than his, and I think my theory adds a delicious irony to her words. I've long wondered if she was hiding something but I was so focused on Jinshi being a royal/noble in hiding that I didn't spend time thinking that Maomao may be as well. Furthermore, Maomao ended up being raised by a doctor. Is Luomen even Maomao's real father? He is quite old to be her biological father. Was Luomen called upon to treat a dying child, or possibly deliver a baby at the palace? Was he asked to claim the child had died then smuggled her out of the palace? He does seem to be too good of a doctor to be working in the Pleasure District. Wait does this have something to do with her arm? Did she sustain an injury during the time she was in palace? Or have a distinguishing birth mark? Does she cover her arm to hide it? Would her identity be revealed if her arm healed? Have I gone way too far from the known facts and entered the realm of headcanon? Actually, I can answer that one: yes!
Okay, time to go back to the story.
It's time for Maomao to say goodbye. Lihaku had the time of his life and wishes they didn't have to leave. Maomao is indebted to Verdigris House and has a year left at the Rear Palace to come up with the amount owed, or she'll be paying in a different way. The Madame already has plans for her.
Everyone comes to greet Maomao when she returns, happy to see her and eager to hear about her visit to home. Except Jinshi. Oh he's there, but he's pissed. Gaoshun doesn't approve.
Maomao meets with Jinshi privately and he's simmering with agitation, not bothering to hide his feelings or try to act formally. And oh, he actually is trying to stay cool, and utterly failing. He's worried about Lihaku! Bwahaha! Good work ladies of the Jade palace!
And no one has yet explained the significance of the hairpins to Maomao. She describes receiving a hairpin from Lihaku as receiving a consolation prize.
Jinshi: In other words, I lost to a consolation prize, then?
He's hurt. If she thinks of receiving a hair pin from Lihaku as merely a consolation prize, and she turned to Lihaku for help, how much lower must she think of Jinshi?
She decides to soothe his ruffled feathers and declares that she couldn't have chosen Jinshi because she would have had no way to repay him. Jinshi can't believe this shit.
Jinshi: This Lihaku person... Did you give him something in return?
Maomao: Yes. I bestowed a night of blissful dreams on him.
Friends. The gasp, I gasped at this! For such a smart person Maomao is dumb as hell!
And the psychic damage she inflicted on Jinshi! 💋🤌 She left that man catatonic.
It's exactly what Lady Gyokuyou and I have been waiting for. Lady Gyokuyou is laughing so hard she looks like she might pee herself. She loves to see Jinshi suffer and so do I.
Hongniang, smacks Maomao. And Gaoshun looks deeply unhappy. Probably because he is going to have to deal with a moping Jinshi.
I do feel bad for Jinshi. He really cares about Maomao and wants to get closer to her, but nothing he does seems to work. He's rebuffed at every turn.
It seems she would prefer anyone over him. And now she is bestowing her favor on someone else (Also, is Lihaku going to be okay? Jinshi's, like, mad mad that the guy asked for some kind of repayment). As a prince palace manager, Jinshi's probably rarely if ever lost out to someone else. And now the lady that he's interested in seems to prefer a low ranked officer, who barely put any effort into getting to know Maomao, and she just gives herself to him?
It was just a couple of episodes ago when Jinshi tried laying his hand on Maomao's shoulder and was told that his status makes anything between them impossible. It has to rankle. I feel for him.
On the other hand. Jinshi began his relationship with Maomao by manipulating her and trying to seduce her so that he could control her. That his plan has backfired on him, feels like justice.
Jinshi has started to get to know Maomao better, and I think he's starting to really see her, but he has to learn how to respect her too. He's getting there bit by bit, but in the meantime he will suffer.
Because Maomao doesn't trust him. She's not ready to let him in. She's too afraid of being vulnerable in the way that love demands. She's not ready to face her demons, much less share them. Certainly not with Jinshi. Not the man who can and has manipulated her in the past. The man who doesn't share what he knows. The man who has the power to destroy her with a word if she missteps. The man whose status is so far above her own. There are just so many unknowns when it comes to Jinshi.
Not to mention the secret of his identity.
If Jinshi wants to be loved, he will have to let himself be seen, and that will involve some radical honesty from him. He's not there yet. He doesn't want it bad enough yet. So he will suffer in his desire until then.
If you want to start at the beginning:
Episode 1
Next Episode
Episode 9
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Hey, could you do a fluff one shot for any of the chapters you write for, maybe the reader had been handed back a test she scored lower on than she had expected/ she’s being hard on herself and the character tells her she did great and he’s proud or something like that?
A/N: Bestie you asked the right person because i did SO SO bad in school lol, so i’d definitely relate to this situation. I haven’t written for Harry lately, so I decided to write for him if that’s okay. :) I hope this meets your expectations!
Proud - Harry P. x Reader
“Y/N, please don’t stress. I’m sure you did fine!” Ron assured you as you both walked to your potions class.
“Ron you don’t understand. I couldn’t even guess an answer on some questions. I couldn’t focus, I have so much on my plate,” You rambled.
“You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for,” Ron pointed out.
“Y/N! Ron!” A familiar voice called out.
You both turns around and saw Harry, your boyfriend, run up to you. “Sorry, I-“ Harry was huffing and puffing as he caught up to you.
“Breathe, Potter.” You said, patting him on the shoulder. You tried your best to hold back your laughter.
“I was running late- and” Potter sighed again.
“Well, we’re gonna be late if we just stay here, you can explain on the way” Ron stated, looking at the time on his watch.
You and Harry nodded, you took Harry’s hand in yours, and you all proceeded to walk to class.
Potions was hands down, the worst class. Snape taught it, and of course hated you, Ron, Hermione, and Harry. You struggled with the subject to begin with, and today was even more nerve-wracking; you were getting test results back.
You knew you had done poorly on this test, you didn’t have time to study with Quidditch practice, homework from other classes, and having time to actually feed and take care of yourself.
You, Ron, and Harry took your seats. Hermione was already in class, sitting in front of you three. She turned around, smiling.
“I cannot wait for these test results! The test was so easy, it was basically free points.” Hermione beamed.
You groaned loudly and put your head down. Hermione looked at you confused, shrugged and turned back forward.
“What’s wrong with her?” Harry asked Ron, concerned.
“Eh, afraid she didn’t do so swell on Snape’a test.” Ron explained.
“Y/N, love.” Harry comforted you.
“Humph.” You said, muffled from your sleeve.
Before Harry could continue, you heard the classroom doors dramatically slam, which always means class has started.
“Head up, Y/L/N.” Snape scolded, coming out of seemingly nowhere, quickly walking up the aisles.
You quickly popped your head up. Your chest felt heavy, like it was hard to breathe.
“I strongly suggest you pay attention, I am not impressed by these scores.” Snape said lowly, looking directly at you. You gulped.
Snape handed back all of the students tests, he handed yours back facing downwards, so was Ron’s. Ron sighed. “That’s never a good sign.”
You flipped your paper over.
FAILED
I strongly suggest you start to pay attention in my class, Y/F/N. - Prof. Snape
“Shit.” You said, tears immediately rushing to your eyes. You knew you didn’t do great; but you didn’t think you had flunked the test. Harry looked over at you sympathetically.
“Y/N-“
“Potter. You can continue your conversations with Miss. Y/L/N some other time. Now your time will be mine.” Snape said, snarling at you both.
-
Class had ended, you stuffed your test in your bag and rushed out of the classroom, leaving Harry and Ron in the dust without another word. You swiftly walked to your dorm room, other students noticing your upset manor and stared at you; making it worse. You opened your door, and flipped in your soft, cushioned bed.
Your face was smothered in your pillows, you were cursing yourself out, frustrated.
“I’m such a fucking idiot,” you cursed yourself.
You hear your door open.
“Go away.” You groan.
“No, please, baby. Let me talk with you.” Harry said, slightly out of breath. You sit up and face him. Once again, he was out of breath.
“It’s a lot of stairs to get here,” Harry complained, still trying to catch his breath.
You laughed softly. A small smile grew on Harry’s lips, he was grateful he could get you to at least laugh.
“Darling, plead don’t be upset about your score.” Harry said in a comforting voice. He walked up to your bed, and you automatically wrap your arms around his waist, still sitting up on the bed.
He stroked the back of your head with his fingers, curling it between two, letting you settle down. You were quietly sobbing into his stomach, definitely leaving tear stains on his shirt.
“Babydoll, it’s not that serious.” Harry said lovingly.
“It is!” You said, pulling away from him. “Everyone knows I’m an idiot from what stupid Snape said! I knew I did bad but I thought I’d do better than failing, at least a C. I’m so stupid. I guarantee I did the worst in class.”
Harry shook his head, looking down at you. He then crouched down to be in your level, brushing your hair out of your red and swollen face from crying.
“Ron got the same score as you, I didn’t do so hot either. I almost failed.”
“And what about Hermione?” You said jealously. Hermione was your friend, but she always seemed to show her test scores in your face unintentionally.
“Well…it’s Hermione. She got the best score.” Harry said, rolling his eyes. It seemed everyone was jealous of the brilliant witch. She seemed to have the ability to do everything and make it look easy.
“But that doesn’t matter, love. You set impossible expectations for yourself, potions is a hard class.” Harry said sympathetically. You grabbed his hand that was on your face, and toyed with his fingers as you listened.
“Lovely, it is one test. One. Please don’t test yourself as a failure for one bad test. You’re so intelligent, in so many ways. You’re smart in ways Hermione is not, even. You have common sense, you’re intuitive, you are so charismatic. You can start a conversation with anybody, that takes intelligence, too.”
You look up at your boyfriend, and had a small smile grow on your face.
“Really?” You sniff.
“Really, you’re doing great, love. You really are. Tell you what; we can have a study date to prepare for the next test. We can set aside time together and study.” Harry suggested.
You nodded, wiping off your tears. Harry smiled, and pulled you in for a tight hug. You were finally able to take a deep breath, and he pulled away from you.
“I love you, so much.” Harry said softly.
“I love you too, thank you.” You replied.
Harry leaned in again, only this time to kiss you softly. The kiss was innocent, and light.
“It’s my job, love. Now, let’s get something to eat.”
#harry potter x you#dating harry potter#harry potter#harry potter fluff#harry potter x reader#harry potter x y/n fluff#harry potter x reader fluff#harry potter masterlist#harry potter series#harry potter fandom#harry potter fanfiction
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Hello! Big fan! I had a couple of questions that I'd been wondering about. I hope they don't sound accusatory, I don't mean them that way, I was just curious to see if I was understanding. Basically, I started re-reading to catch all the little differences and I noticed two things:
April was touching Donnie pretty regularly out the gate. Does he not have trouble with her touch?
2. In light of chapter 23, I'm curious how Donnie can notice the second Viola-chan is upset through a mask, but missed all the romantic cues?
Feel free to answer, one, none, or both. I'm sorry if they've been asked before and, again, just thank you for sharing your work with all of us! Have a wonderful day!
wow!! excellent eye, anon-chan! that's the first time someone has noticed! or at least mentioned it. i'm very impressed! :0
so this hasn't come up yet, but to some extent, april can touch donnie, sort of, over his clothes and on his shell. he really prefers her not to and gets irritable when she does, but when there's something going on (...like donnie being nasty to viola-chan in chapter 2) she's going to do something about it (like pinching him or smacking his shell; also to stop him from saying something nasty after mistaking viola-chan for an anti-mutant bigot). but that's as far as they go. anything more than a brief touch, donnie doesn't tolerate it, and it's quite rare.
you may have noticed that april is less surprised than the others when she hears that donnie touches viola-chan, and that's why. to her, it's not as. hm. shocking? there's actually a scene coming up uh... soon-ish... chapter after next maybe? where april talks to viola-chan about this very thing. so i shan't say more on the topic!
as for your second question, donnie doesn't know what's wrong with viola-chan in chapter 23. all he knows is that, for some reason, she's masking, and that disturbs him. it's quite common for autistic people to study others in an attempt to learn how to mirror their emotions and to mask. (i do this myself without realizing it often times, and on purpose if i'm, like, in a business meeting or talking to someone important.)
donnie, being the way he is, over the course of turtle time and also just from spending time with viola-chan, has done this to an extreme. he's meticulously catalogued every little twitch her face can make, across a wide berth of emotional states. recordings of her voice. thorough examinations of her movements. he knows her. so when she starts acting strangely out of nowhere, in a manner that seems artificial, he takes note. then, when he sees how viola-chan reacts to leo, that's when he puts together that the masking is something from a place of harm, and that leo is likely the cause. hence begins the interrogation.
i'd go into a deeper analysis of donnie's emotional state for viola-chan and romance specifically, but... hm.... that's perhaps leaning a bit into spoiler territory. by which i mean i started to answer this like. three different ways and kept butting against spoilers, hahaha so i shan't say any more on that, either!
anywho thank you for your ask, and i hope that cleared things up. uh. a little tiny bit since a lot of it is "you'll learn soon" as an answer hahahaha
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what are your thoughts on the group’s view (i think specifically mirabelle and bonnie mention this in their messed up friendship events) on siffrin being “so mysterious” and “always acting like they know better”? Cause it seemed like a small grievance they’ve had for a while that was (rightly) exacerbated by sif being a prick during those convos.
I'm going to be honest I don't remember Bonnie saying anything about Siffrin being mysterious (at least not as something they're mad about) so as far as I know this is a Mirabelle view only.
tbh I feel like why Mirabelle saw Siffrin like this pre-game was pretty well explained by an interaction in SASASA and I'm currently blanking on if it, or at least similar dialogue, got into ISAT. She says in it how she was disconcerted by them acting like they didn't care, not exactly in a mean way, but like going to fight the King was no more serious than doing laundry, and that after they lost their eye protecting one of them she realized they were earnest about the journey as well. I honestly don't remember if Mirabelle still has a dialogue like that in ISAT but ISAT definitely still has the elements for her to have had that perception, with Siffrin just being like "well everyone else has these great reasons for being here. me? I'm just here because I've got nothing else to do" and being so afraid of showing how attached they are to the others that they try asking everyone what they're going to do post-King but give a joking answer every time the question is turned back to him. Siffrin is not forthcoming about their emotions and has also been. perpetually traveling ever since the trauma, so I imagine they've never really had people close enough to tell them what kind of impression he makes until he joins the group, so no wonder Mirabelle ends up with a weird impression of him!
Odile is older and seems to have Siffrin somewhat figured out just because of experience (she tells him to try letting down his walls so she's got it right that it's more a defensive thing than acting superior) and Isabeau both has a great deal of emotional intelligence and just. seems to have clicked well with Siffrin off the bat in a way Mirabelle didn't because of simple differences in personality. Bonnie's mad at Siffrin already for their own reasons. As far as I'm aware the "Siffrin acts superior" thing is totally a Mirabelle perception but it makes sense in that like. while the party as a whole is pretty in touch with feelings, the party can't get EVERYTHING right emotionally or there wouldn't have been a game to begin with. This is just what happens to be the barrier of sorts between Mirabelle and Siffrin, because in the end, she wants to keep traveling with him too, so why didn't she just ask? Because she thought he'd be disinterested, because he's this cool, mysterious traveler with so much "experience", so worldly, and oh change she just had the entirely wrong idea what was going on inside that sleepy head of theirs.
I find it interesting you're asking me about this though because to me Mirabelle going off about this in act 5 was honestly kind of a bummer about the Mirabelle & Siffrin friendship for me on my first playthrough. (This is all going under a cut because it's tangential.)
Especially after act 4 dialogue makes it clear she still remembers Siffrin saying they're the happiest they've ever been on this journey, after having lost their eye to protect Bonnie, and that she takes his answer seriously, it was a little 'wait, how can she doubt so quickly that Siffrin cares?' And I still wonder if maybe I'd like the act 5 Mirabelle scene more if Siffrin was deliberately being callous like he is with Odile and Isabeau rather than accidentally saying the wrong thing. (I mean he is being a prick in that he's trying to rush an emotional conversation, it's not the nicest thing to do. But he wasn't trying to insult her and as soon as he realizes he's upset her he tries to explain that he said it wrong, but she cuts him off.) But in the end:
act 4 Mirabelle remembers that conversation so act 5 Mirabelle should too, but act 4 Mirabelle also says that after having the bonding experience of trawling the final dungeon, eating snacks together, and kicking the King's crabbing butt. (and it may or may not be family run dependent too if she says it? I forget. I usually did family runs once available even if they were the cheaty speed ones.) act 5 Mirabelle didn't get to have those moments.
act 5 Mirabelle has also been hearing from the villagers that Siffrin's acting weird in ways that confirm the "acting mysterious and like they know better" characterization. They're actually just slowly burning their last brain cell but you know. when they won't admit it. how is she supposed to know.
act 5 Mirabelle has also had a friend say something super upsetting to her that is pretty 'why would you say that', 'was I totally wrong about our friendship', she pretty much says right in the dialogue that she'd decided on more innocent explanations for Siffrin's quirks that initially rubbed her wrong (like the teasing! She probably didn't like that at first and probably had to convince herself that they were just one of the people that bonded by teasing, not teasing to be mean) but yeah with her hearing from villagers that Siffrin's acting in this way and him saying such a cruel thing to her seemingly unprovoked it makes sense that when all the little things about Siffrin get tossed up in her head, they, for the moment, land on "they're a jerk".
and in the end she goes after them, is the one to unfreeze them (not like anyone else could have done it, but still) she DOES see him as a friend. She's just. still reserving the right to be mad about what he said. Which considering what was said and that they said it because they were trying to rush through a conversation important to her, y'know, FAIR.
...Anyway I had to get that out. again. TANGENTIAL.
#Mirabelle#siffrin#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#I'M SORRY ANON??? I HOPE IN RAMBLING I ANSWERED ENOUGH LOL
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★ | freak
carl grimes x fem!reader
note : not my best writing, but i liked the concept :P does not follow the canon.
warnings : the insult “freak”
new outsiders were recently welcomed into the community of alexandria. a group of outsiders, consisting of seven people in total. to carl, one of them was more noticeable than the rest. it was a girl and she also appeared to be missing an eye. that’s what carl assumed anyways, why else would someone wear a bandana over half their face?
he was shocked that her first words to him were “what are you staring at, freak”.
hearing that question almost stunned him into silence. almost.
all he could possibly muster up was an awkward sounding, “um- what?”. by the heat on his face, he could tell that there was an embarrassing amount of red on his face. this was far from his best first impression.
carl avoided her from then on, realising she might’ve needed some space to adjust to alexandria. maybe he could’ve stared at her less… but he couldn’t help but feel a bit offended by their first encounter, it left a sour taste left in his mouth every time he thought about it. it was both a humiliating and upsetting experience for carl. he didn’t mean to stare at her, he just couldn’t help be a little curious. the only person carl ever saw without an eye was the governor, the reason he refused to wear anything other than a bandage over his eye.
as the other members of the group got more acquainted with alexandria, carl was able to learn more about her - not from her directly of course, but from the other members of her group. he learnt her name was y/n. it was a pretty name, he thought so at least. carl also learnt that she lost her mother recently. that information had him awake for a couple nights, unable to sleep at the recurring thoughts of his own mother’s death. carl understood that pain.
he was slowly understanding why she was so hostile to him. when carl lost his mom, it consumed him. every waking minute was spent hearing her screams on a torturous loop in his mind. that kind of loss makes a person angry at the world and hungry for revenge, sometimes people become blinded by it. he knows he’s had his fair share of moments that he wished he could forget.
there was still the question on how to approach y/n. despite her appalling first impression, he was still curious enough to want to talk to her and clearly observing her from afar was the wrong way to go about it. carl went through multiple different scenarios in his mind, all the different ways he could approach her. more sleepless nights burdened carl’s evenings as he spent them debating with himself over what to say.
one day, he became fed up with thinking about it. his lack of sleep was beginning to show through some passive aggressive comments that rick certainly did not appreciate.
carl marched up to y/n, who was sat on the porch of the house her group had been given. unfortunately, his confidence dissipated the moment he met her eye.
“um-.. i-“ he barely got anything out before y/n interrupted him. she blurted out a question, an uncomfortable expression across her face.
“how did you lose your eye?”
it took carl a few seconds to gather his composure. yet again, another interaction with her that has taken an unexpected turn. at least she didn’t call him a freak this time.
“i got shot.” he doesn’t know what else to say, but he purposefully leaves out anymore detail. it wouldn’t be a good look for alexandria if he said he was shot by an.. ex-resident. there’s an awkward pause and the two just staring at each other. carl can tell there’s something else she wants to ask, but he almost doesn’t want to ask in case she insults him again. he’s rather have some of his dignity intact at the end of their interaction.
it takes y/n an almost unbearable amount of silence to ask, “do you have any spare bandages?”
“um.. yeah, but you could go to the infirmary, we have supplies here- i can show you how to get there if you want?” he’s mostly confused by the question and seeing her wrap her arms around herself in an almost defensive manner furthered his confusion.
“nice try. i’m not leaving the house empty, so someone can come and snoop through our stuff.”
some people took longer to trust alexandria, he understood her current mindset. hell, he’d been there himself.
“look, no one here is after you. it’s not as bad as you think it is and the people here aren’t going to hurt you, if you just give this place more of a chance-“ interrupted yet again.
“i’ve heard this speech from almost everyone here, i don’t need to hear it again.” she was annoyed. this wasn’t going as well as carl wanted it to.
“sorry..” carl mumbles, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. he looks back at y/n and she’s still looking at him. it was slightly unnerving, carl had no idea what to expect from her. another insult, or maybe another personal question.
“i can go get you bandages and come back..?” his voice sounded slightly hesitant, though his offer was genuine.
y/n’s eye narrowed slightly in suspicion, yet carl was unphased by it. he expected her to be guarded, the people she arrived with certainly cautioned the people at alexandria about the attitude she developed.
“really?” she sounded unsure, as if she couldn’t tell if he was being serious.
“sure.. yeah.” he has a small, slightly weary smile on his face that looks more like a wince to y/n.
“okay.” y/n looks down at the ground, her voice becoming quieter as she speaks again, “thank you..”
“yep.” carl spins on his heel and walks away from her, quickening the pace of his walk in the direction of the infirmary. he lets out a deep sigh of relief, it wasn’t going as badly as it could, but he still felt slightly on edge.
“here.” carl tosses each item he retrieved from the infirmary to y/n and she catches them, placing them down in her lap.
“thanks.”
“you’re welcome.” carl smiles hesitantly at her.
“cool..” y/n mumbles, looking down at the roll of bandages, a roll of medical tape and a few plasters.
“have you ever put a bandage over.. your eye? i know i struggled the first few times i had to do it.” carl is reluctant to stop talking to her, strangely she was pleasant to be around when she wasn’t insulting him.
“no, i’ll figure it out though.”
“are you sure? i don’t mind helping you-“
“no.”
“i get it, okay? you don’t trust us yet, but we’re good people. i just want to help, whatever’s under there isn’t anything i haven’t seen before.” carl gains a little more confidence in himself and his words, he stands a bit straighter - he’s determined to prove her wrong about alexandria.
y/n spends a few seconds digesting his words. on the one hand, she could be mean and he’d leave her alone, but on the other hand, she knew she needed help. her mother was the one who tied the bandana over her eye once the wound she had healed. she never took it off after that, but the members of her group began lecturing her about ‘appearances’. the bandana was torn, dirty and even seemed to be charred at some parts.
“come inside.”
carl follows her inside the house. the group had clearly started to decorate their home a bit and carl takes note of the photographs on the wall. unfamiliar faces that he couldn’t recall seeing with the group and he knew why.
“so, how did you lose your eye?” carl asks, following y/n into a bathroom.
“i lost it in a fight with a hungry squirrel.” her voice was nonchalant and carl almost thought she was serious for a second.
he chuckles and stands by the bathroom counter, unravelling the bandages, “you’re funny. how’d you lose it?”
“the world is full of rotten people.”
“not alexandria though, there’s good people here.” carl glances over at y/n as she slowly unties the knot holding the bandana in place around her head. she pulls the fabric away from her face and she turns her head slightly to try shield her eye from carl’s vision.
“you really like it here, huh?” y/n almost sounds bitter about it. he could see why. carl was comfortable, he felt safe in alexandria, but y/n was most likely feeling the opposite.
“yeah, it’s nice here..” carl lifts the bandages and wraps it around y/n’s head to measure the length he would need. using a small pair of scissors he cuts the bandage into a strip long enough to wrap around her head, “i like it at least, it takes some time to get used to though.”
“i got stabbed.. that’s how i lost it.” y/n speaks quietly, looking up at carl once she knew she couldn’t avoid it. he needed to put a plaster over eye, he was going to see it, so she might as well tell the truth.
“people don’t think about it as much as you’d think,” carl speaks as he puts a plaster over her eye, he had seen the damage, “my dad tells me the same thing, but it’s hard to believe someone when their eyes keep going from your eye to.. not your eye.”
y/n laughs. it was more of a chuckle, but it still brought a smile to carl’s face. he didn’t comment about it, but instead revelled in the moment for a few seconds. he worked in silence as he helped y/n secure the bandage over her missing eye. he didn’t mind the silence much, at least now that he knew she didn’t hate him.
“i’m sorry i called you a freak.”
carl smiles at her apology. he didn’t expect her to apologise, but he clearly underestimated her, “it’s water under the bridge.”
he was nice, y/n knew that. it almost felt too nice after the experiences she had with strangers before arriving at alexandria.
“there’s still good people left. i know everything inside you is probably telling you not to trust this place, but it’s safe here.” carl pauses for a few minutes, trying to find the right words to say, “a few people might say some wrong thing, but it’s not on purpose. sometimes.. they just don’t know better, but they mean well...”
“okay.”
“i’m carl by the way.”
“i’m y/n.”
“i know.” the words slip out of carl’s mouth before he can stop himself. the last thing he wanted to do was come across as a creep, “sorry- i just overheard janine talking about you.”
“cool.. thanks for the help.”
carl now has a genuine smile on his face, it didn’t look uncomfortable and forced this time. he nods at her and tidies up the the supplies he used, putting them into the cupboard.
“you know.. there’s gonna be a party.. thing? it’s at the end of the week, but alexandria throws them every time there’s new people..” carl pauses and then continues talking, “it’s not really a party, but the last time they had one here was when me and my group arrived. you should go.”
“i’ll think about it.”
she very obviously didn’t trust him yet, but it seemed like she was trying. her behaviour may come across as abrasive and cold, but it was nothing carl hadn’t seen before. eventually she would have to warm up to him, right?
“cool.”
#carl grimes#carl grimes x reader#carl grimes fluff#carl grimes angst#carl grimes fic#carl grimes x fem!reader#carabalism
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The songs of Young Royals - S1E2 & E3
And I'm back with another song analysis article ^^ You can find the first one (in which I covered the songs from S1E1) here.
I'm gonna do 2 episodes in this post because there are not many songs in episodes 2 and 3!
No tomorrow, Ty Frankett, Stephane Lo Jacomo and Myariag Summers
I'll be in my feels
They know I'm the truth
When I'm pullin' up I'm bulletproof
I don't really care 'bout the rules
The most cool Wilhelm has ever looked ^^ He was all blushing and stressed during lunch about what almost happened with Simon, but here he's collected, alone but looking like he doesn't care and just plays it cool. He's the Prince so I guess it's true that the "rules" don't really apply to him but is he "bulletproof"? Unfortunately the whole debacle that is gonna happen with the sex video will prove that statement wrong... (We also know that most of the students at Hillerska don't care that much about the rules, and August says it himself: they could "murder someone and nobody would say a word")
ALPHA, Yung Titties
ABC I'm the alpha bitch
If you wanna know who runs this shit
ABC I'm the alpha bitch
When I'm in a car, I'm driving
When I'm on a date, I'm buying
Yes girls!! They run this shit ^^ I like that they choose this song when we see the 4 girls hanging out together. I do like them (Felice, Stella, Frederika and Madison) (putting Sara on the side because *complicated feelings*) They're far from perfect but compared to most of the guys in the school, they're pretty cool. I love Felice and how smart/nice/strong she is, and I love her friendship with Wilhelm later on. I hope she'll become even more badass in season 3!! And Madison is the best (and one of the few people in this school who is not terrible to Simon). The song stops as soon as August arrives and takes a chair to sit next to Wilhelm: because yeah, he's not an "alpha". I like that Madison and Felice don't take shit from August: when he starts mocking Simon and Sara (after Felice invites them to the movie night), they immediately tell him off. Then we see Vincent and Nils join August and start bothering the girls (throwing gums/candies at them) and they're not impressed: it's a very short scene but it highlights the fact that they're not interested in their stupid behavior. It's also the episode in which we see the difference between the girls and the boys when it comes to their relationships: we learn at the beginning that Madison and Nils hooked up during the party, but also that Nils was bragging about it and giving the experience a 9/10 while Madison admits doing it mostly because she was bored and not being at all into Nils. We also see August pursuing Felice who is not interested at all.
Who run the world? Girls!!
Äter upp dig, Maxida Märak
Nu ska vi leka hela världen är våran
Huh inga hinder är för svåra
Flyger över alla jag är lätt som en fjäder
Strike like a pro BDSM läder
Good boys gone bad
Alla ser rött King Kong gone mad
Jag är blöt du är naken
Okay so it's a bit hard to do this one because it's in Swedish and I'm definitely not there yet with this language ^^' From what I understand with the translated lyrics, it's quite a "sexy" song (with some violent undertones: being a wolf, being naked, being wet, good boys gone bad, etc.). The first sentences are about playing and how they have the whole world, which is interesting because it's the parents day at Hillerska and we are introduced to a lot of upper class people, people who have a lot of money and power. In this sense, they are the people who can use the world as a playground: they have the means for that. They're rich and powerful, they're above. The lyrics are also about getting angry though, "seeing red, King Kong gone mad": a little nod to Simon and Sara being pebbles that are gonna throw the whole machinery off? During the lunch, Sara is going to mess up Felice's family with the riding issue (and they're the richest family apparently!). Wilhelm is also gonna upset the order by not sitting at August's table but choosing instead the one table with a family that doesn't belong to Hillerska's upper class environment. So I guess yeah, things aren't going to go that well. And to top it off, August is gonna learn that his family is in fact broke! Oh, how the rich and mighty have fallen...
Hillerska Song
Hope and faith wherever we roam
As we make our way back home
Oh, we meet with open hearts
Another one in Swedish but with the English subtitles directly in the show so it makes it easier to understand ^^
Simon and Wilhelm look SO happy and smiling and smitten in this scene 💜 I like the idea of making their "way back home" because they're not there yet, but they're getting there: being a safe space, being home for each other. And yeah in this scene they still have "open hearts", because Erik has not died yet, because the sex tape hasn't been made/released yet, because none of the awful stuff that is going to make them close in on themselves has happened yet.
And Wilhelm is so cute and happy (and it's gonna become very rare to see him like that afterward) that this song deserves another picture ^^
The songs of Young Royals - part 1
#Young Royals#Young Royals analysis#Young Royals songs#Young Royals S1E2#Young Royals S1E3#my analysis#song analysis#Wilmon#Simon Eriksson#Prince Wilhelm#Felice Ehrencrona#Madison McCoy#I'll never get over how happy they look during this scene#these 2 episodes were not the most interesting song wise#but we're getting back into the good stuff in the next episode#I'll post it tomorrow#also if I'm super wrong about my understanding of a Swedish song#please don't hesitate to correct me ^^
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