anyway sitting on the bathroom floor dry heaving and crying and running a fever while your parents scream at each other and your dad throws things pretty much sums up my childhood
also a dearly i started one million years ago. didnt like the rendering on the skin and wasnt totally in love with the silhouette so i just stopped working on it.
hm… no I don’t think Gertrude was feeling cold and uncaring when she sacrificed Michael. I don’t think she just dusted her hands off and walked away. I think she was used to risky plans and close calls, even used to an occasional casualty, but her blood ran cold when she realized she was choosing to send one to their death. not collateral damage — a sacrifice.
and I think she tried to be as numb as possible, calculating, deciding, even as she knew deep down that only one of her assistants would walk straight into hell on her word.
and I think she found him a bit annoying before that. the jaded resent the naive — it isn’t fair, but it’s true. but by the time he brought her tea the next day, in her mind, he was already dead. everyone looks better dead. optimism, trust, loyalty all become virtues where they were once liabilities.
I don’t think she didn’t feel the gravity of her choice. I think she did it anyway.