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katsutora · 1 year

Text

— HOMESICK

ft. isagi yoichi ; itoshi rin ; nagi seishiro ; bachira meguru ; chigiri hyōma ; itoshi sae

summary: them picking you up after a trip

note: i’d like to be everyone’s weekly teeth rotting fluff provider but then i remembered i dont have it in me to serve content every week LMFAO i lack prompts besties

⚘ ISAGI YOICHI

ㅤㅤhas a relatively normal reaction as he sees you approaching him, but is actually trying his best not to freak out. he smiles at you softly as if he didn’t almost explode from all the excitement. once you’re in the car, he doesn’t let go of your hand the entire trip home. can’t stop staring at you too (a huge simp, good for you) because it’s been a while since he last saw you in person and it’s still kind of surreal to him. hmm, what was that? hands on the wheels, eyes on the road? yoichi, seriously, pay attention oh my god. you better promise you’ve tried everything and that this really is the last resort. “kaiser is in the middle of the street.” oh? oh. oh shit. “i'll run him over.” i mean... you gotta do what you gotta do to snap him out of it, right? (no)

⚘ ITOSHI RIN

ㅤㅤhe’s definitely in a sour mood. seething. most likely scared every single person who passed by him. the fact that he’s rapidly gaining fame doesn’t help at all (prayer circle for that one poor kid who only wanted to ask him for his autograph). he’s leaning against the wall, looking super annoyed. the root of the problem? not the fact that he has to be there of course, more like why the hell haven't you arrived at the gate yet (calm down rin it’s only been like ten minutes lmao). misses you as hell but won’t tell? that rhymes. immediately wraps you in his coat as an excuse to hug you tightly. “t’s not that cold, rin.” refuses to let you go. he’s clinging onto you for dear life as if he’s finally found you after a lifetime. “i know. just a little longer.” his grip only tightens when he notices people looking at you two. gee, they’re just trying to get to the exit gate, stop blocking it smh.

⚘ NAGI SEISHIRO

ㅤㅤit’s almost comical how he suddenly turned into a lighthouse as soon as he spotted you. people are putting on their sunglasses indoors, someone help. mandatory bear hug (but there’s a 50% chance that you’ll both fall to the ground because he can be clumsy like that). “that was so cringe.” “you love it, though.” “i love you.” ugh sappy. if somehow you survived that acrobatic act, he’ll bend his 190cm ass after putting you down so you can kiss the top of his head! if you don’t, well, he's not gonna stand up any time soon because it’s “comfy” and definitely not because getting up is a hassle. gets super chatty all the way home. “did you know shidou decked rin again today?” “barou planted his face on the ground yesterday, king who?” “i told choki to watch the food in the oven btw.” says it in the most casual manner; you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “mhm. wait WHAT?”

⚘ BACHIRA MEGURU

ㅤㅤa pinball. will not hesitate to break through a crowd, bumping into everyone and everything. should be classified as a hazard to society. no jk. but he did almost tackle a kid when he was running towards you. has his arms wide open and ready to tackle you too embrace you. “you’re back! welcome home!” “i’m home!” “welcome home!” “i’m home!” don’t you have anything else to say besides that lmfao (it really went on for a solid five minutes). falls asleep on your lap in the car since he already spent all his energy on that whole “embodying a golden retriever” thing back there. looks so peaceful and angelic like that. also sleep-talks. “y’re hmm”. you didn’t expect him to remain this quiet but it’s the best nap he’s had in a while so uhh “karaoke night?” karaoke night he said. good luck to your poor neighbors tonight.

⚘ CHIGIRI HYŌMA

ㅤㅤladies and gentlemen, him. a runway model. is he picking someone up or is he going somewhere? with looks like that, no one will ever know. forget the elegant saunter; the moment he saw you, he full on sprinted. the type that brings you flowers and your favorite snacks. seems like someone who knows what he’s doing right? but when you pat his head in response to his warm welcome, he short-circuited because you just stole his line. “i’ve missed you.” immediately softens and melts in your embrace. you think it’s all calm and that until his sister arrives out of nowhere, calling out both of your names and the next thing you know, she’s taking pictures of you as if this is your graduation day. “lookie over here, you two!” you’ve never seen someone speedrunning five stages of grief in record time.

⚘ ITOSHI SAE

ㅤㅤmans turning the airport into a red carpet premiere smh; cameras flashing everywhere, people eager to ask him questions, etc. he’s learning that looking down on his phone isn’t a good enough disguise, and that his bored face isn’t scary enough to fend off his fans. oh finally, he thought as he spotted you amidst the crowd. “over here, sae!” “oh my, it’s itoshi sae!” but he has his gaze fixated on you and only you. don’t worry, of course he’ll notice if you grow uncomfortable with all the attention and will immediately wrap his arm around your figure. !! breaking news: itoshi sae quits the world of football and is now becoming a personal bodyguard. navigates through the crowd while mumbling “fall under my spell.” boy what they’re not shidou (narrator: they did, in fact, fell under his spell). “give me your number!” uhh? “move in with me!” wow it’s not your sae, huh? it’s everyone’s sae.

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greenishghostey · 1 year

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Oh, cute idea! Reader and eddie... getting married. But reader hates the feeling of jewelry, super uncomfortable with even tiny pieces. So they get matching tattoos instead.

This idea is SO SO SWEET!!! Personally, I don't really like having jewellery on my hands, so yeah love love this idea 😊

///

“You’re 1000% sure about this?” Eddie stressed, his nose almost pressed to yours. “There’s no backsies with ink. Can’t throw the ring at me if I piss you off later.”

You bumped your nose against his and stared back at him, hard and with comically wide eyes. “This was my idea, of course I’m sure.” You smiled. “Besides, wouldn’t throw anything at you, I’d tackle you. Big difference.”

“Brave words for someone I’m about to stick with a needle.” Eddie smirked, cleaning a small section of your bicep with an alcohol wipe.

You weren’t a fan of rings - on your own hands anyway. Eddie’s eclectic jewellery was totally fine. The weight and pressure of the metal around your fingers felt restrictive and a little bit gross. You had really sweaty hands and your sense of touch was sensitive at the best of times.

When Eddie proposed to you, he didn’t get you a ring because he knew you wouldn’t like it. Instead, the two of brainstormed ideas to replace the symbol of a ring.

He suggested getting a pet, a cat to roam around the apartment. You weren’t opposed to having a pet, but both of you worked so long that the little feline would be lonely most days.

Another option was necklaces. Both of you would have a small ring on a chain around your necks. This was the idea you were going to go with until Eddie misplaced his guitar pick necklace. He started ranting and raving that he’d end up losing the ring necklace too - the very thought of it stressed him out beyond belief. The guitar pick one had been through the laundry one Sunday in a pair of his jeans. The crisis was averted thanks to you.

So, it needed to be something on your person at all times and permanent. It was you who suggested tattoos at home. Eddie had done a few stick and pokes on himself and others over the years and he had gotten pretty good. You only had crescent moon you got tattooed on your ass cheek as a dumb act of rebellion. Another, more meaningful, addition would be more than welcome.

Eddie held his most simple silver ring against the cleaned area of skin, trying to decide where would look best and be the least painful. You and Eddie had gone back and forth about matching designs. Simple line circles is what you agreed on. It’s basically the same as having a ring - but it’s permanent and needs to be cling wrapped after you get it.

“Babe, this is gonna sting. You sure sure?” Eddie asked, furrowing his brows.

“It’s only a little circle. Plus, it’s you doing it, so I’m in the best hands I can be.” You reassured him. It was the truth. When it came to tattoo care, Eddie was so on the ball it was impressive. He said it was because he got a rash on his demon head tattoo and “felt like nearly rip a tit off from itching.”

“Been told I’m good with my hands, you know. Never had any complaints.”

“I’m the only person who you’ve had your hands on. Like, ever, dude.”

“And you’ve never complained, point proven.” Eddie stated, tilting his head at you to further his point. “Get my greasy mitts on ya and it’s all “uh huh, god yeah - fuck fuck yeah.”” As much as you hated to admit it, Eddie’s impression of your sex noises was actually pretty good. All the years of doing voices for D&D had done wonders.

You swatted at his thigh that was pressed to yours and chuckled with him. The cosy lamp light of your living room was the perfect atmosphere for the evening. It was just… everything. Eddie was always a bit of everything, and you savoured every second with him.

“Okay, back to the undying devotion ink.” Eddie smiled, pressing the ring firmly into your bicep so it would work as a circle guide. He really wasn’t confident enough to do a non-shitty circle free hand. You wouldn’t have minded either way. He could draw a square for all you cared and you’d still love it.

“I promise I’ll be fine, I’ll say if it hurts too bad.” You said, nudging his leg with your foot lightly and giving him a soft smile. “Gremlins is on at 8 and we’re not missing the start again.”

Eddie just looked you over fondly. It was a quick sweep of his gaze, but it was thorough. You had been worried about not wanting a ring - everyone wanted a ring when they got engaged, it was normal.

However, you and Eddie had never really done “normal”, you guys worked so well because you both went with the flow of each other and no one else. Matching energy beat for beat. Melting into each other’s existences and moulding something entirely new. Eddie liked to think that’s what love really was. None of that fake mushy stuff that came from guys who didn’t even really like their wives.

“Remember you’ve gotta do mine after this. Then you can sit and tell me about how they made gizmo move in the movie.” Eddie quipped. Whenever he watched a movie with extensive effects in it, you would always talk his ear off about the ins and outs of how they worked. He called them your fun facts - because they were fun, to him.

“You like my commentary, hush.” You grumbled. The technology and skill behind the gremlin puppets was super cool, anyone would be lucky to hear all about it. “You’re mighty brave wanting me to stick you.”

“I’ll use the safe word if it hurts too much, promise.” Your soon to be husband was one weird guy, but he was your favourite brand of weird.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #my writing #fic #fluff #eddie

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ivanzplaid · 2 years

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hii i loved your vance fic. could i request a vance x male!reader where they're both these metalhead tough guys and they're rivals and they often fight but vance has a crush on the reader so one time he helps him in a fight when he gets outnumbered and confesses afterwards? i know it's very specific but the vance brainrot is realll

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SM😭 this is so cute bro tysm, i love specific requests so never apologies for it!!

requests are open! i have my masterlist 4 characters up!

lord this ended up so long

Vance Hopper x Male Reader!

Warnings: Semi-graphic injury mentioning, Fighting, Language, Lots of anger

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You had a notorious reputation around school, kids often avoided you just to ensure their safety. They gossiped about you, naming you as vindictive, always the topic of conversations when you walked around. Your style, your hair, your taste, but what you hated most was the comparisons. You prided yourself about your identity, the life you'd formed for yourself, but the moment that Vance Hopper was brought up, it was always to compare, you practically lived in his shadow, and it enraged you. You and him were the same age, same grade, same everything, yet he'd somehow made his mark, and made it better than yours. Everyone noted your hatred, and they took it with caution, but it didn't stop the talk, and over time, it was like adding gasoline to the fire, eventually you two becoming known rivals.

You didn't exactly know if Vance actually hated you back, you never spoke to him in the first place. Sure, passing classes & outside of school made you have a glimpse of him, but it never escalated. The few times you managed to look at him, you saw the similarities, and it made you hate him even more. You hated his golden locks that sat gently on his face, the way he could keep an angry, hard face, even while bloody, the way his jacket featured his arms perfectly for your eyes,

yeah, of course, thats how you felt, and what you felt was 100%, undoubtedly anger.

"Go fuck yourself shithead. I'll kick your fuckin' ass!"

Your voice hissed out to the kids infront of you. It was a Sunday, one if the few days you were free, and it happened to be at Grab N' Go. You picked up your soda from the fridge, listening hazily to Black Sabbath, continuing on your normal Sunday routine. Your hair brushed against your eyes as you walked on, but before you made it to the register, two kids bumped into your shoulder, making you drop the soda that laid lightly in your hands.

Hitting the ground, it broke, and you felt the anger coming up, heart to throat. Chest tightening with rapid breaths coming in. Gazing up, narrowing your eyes at the dipshits who made you break it, you sighed. They looked at you, laughing to themselves about you.

"Hey dumbass, you dropped something,"

Their laughter cut them off, covering their mouths comically. Looking down, you saw that the top of the bottle was still in tact, from the cap to the middle. You closed your eyes, and bent down to pick it up, and as soon as you made it back up, not satisfying them with vocal anger, you whipper the glass down onto one of the kids heads.

"Augh! What the fuck dude!"

You noticed how the injured kid bent down to shield his head, while the other got into a charging stance, ready to tackle you. Raising your right leg, you kicked the kid in the stomach, sending him down onto the wet floor. Taking steps over to him, you failed to take in the crowd that was forming as you bent down, picking the collar of his shirt up, and sending a punch to his head.

"Next time, watch where you're fucking going kid."

Truthfully, you were royally pissed off. A broken drink, two injured kids, but silencing yourself for a moment, you didn't hear the lady at the register dialing the cops, so you took your chances. Stepping on both kids hands before you left, you dashed out of the mart, trying to leave before the cops would show up to cuff you.

Reaching the pavement with your boots, something behind you caught your jacket, and threw you to the ground, the crowd now moving outside to see your commotion.

Turning over, you found three more kids holding you down, trying to overpower you, one kid on each of your legs, and the other holding your chest down.

Which brought you back to the present, cueing your response,

"Go fuck yourself shithead. I'll kick your fuckin' ass!"

"Make us dickbag!"

You thrashed under them, the crowd that formed around you cheering. Baring your teeth, you brought up a hand, which they idiotically let be free, up to boy infront of you, hitting his jaw with brute force. He stumbled back, letting yourself have more mobility, but it wasn't for long, the other two came to where he left off, and stopped restraining, beginning to kick & throw punches your way, disorienting you. Their punches were disorderly and messy, but with some landing on the side of your head, you began to breath oddly, and feel a heavy sense of exhaustion come over you.

The crowds shouting was going in and out, louder and quieter every few moments, you knew you were close to leaving, but atleast you put up your fair fight.

Closing your eyes, you accepted it, you did what you could, injured three kids, that's pretty good.

Your ears rang quietly at first, but something caused an uproar, the ringing getting higher pitched, aching. The weight that was on top of you was lifted off in an instant, you could breath again. It was painful to even move, but you were able to merely open your eyes, and what you saw made your breathing hitch to a stop.

Vance, The Vance Hopper was punching the shit out of one kid, while another kid was curled over, holding her stomach. You tried to steady yourself up on your elbows, but standing by yourself wasn't an option, you felt your leg tremble, shaking at the slightest weight.

Kids started to notice you getting back up, snd it only made your surroundings even louder, they were in awe that you were actually conscious, the beating was evident, there was blood all over your face and shirt, but you managed to stay lively, deciding you could leave Vance the job he graciously took to kick those kids asses.

Your eyes fluttered back open, you must've taken a swift nap when you saw your saving grace help you. Remembering the way Vance kicked the shit out of those kids made your heart flutter, and your stomach flip in a good way.

Gasping for air, you had a hand now on your back, easing you up to a standing position, being gentle of where you seemed to ache most. You felt the pressure everywhere, but you wanted to know if it was the police escorting you to your weekly mandated jail time. But when your eyes landed on the figure, your eyes widened, eyebrows upturning.

"Hey stranger, how you holdin' up there?"

Vance's smile met your eyes, it was warm & goofy, like he didn't just beat the shit out of some kids for your safety. You wanted to say something, but when you spoke, your throat was dry & scratchy, the taste of blood drying on your lips didn't help either. What you did manage to say, was a shortened version of your paragraph long thoughts.

"V-Vance? Why?"

He chuckled at your voice, somehow knowing you wanted to say more. But he paused, giving you a look you've never received before, longingly staring at you. It was admiration, as you later realized. You were covered in blood, some your own, some not, but in Vance's mind, he thought your courage was strong, and seeing you like this made him fall for you harder.

"When I saw you gettin your ass kicked, I had somethin in me, flip, y'know? I just knew helping you could maybe, I don't know, clear up our strained feelings?"

He wanted to say more, you saw the look in his eyes, it was eager to do something else to you, but from what he said, you took it in.

"S-sure mm-man, whatever."

You gave him a warm smile, he did save your ass after all, but when you went to speak again, he cut you off.

"Listen, I need to tell you something."

You nodded shallowly, awaiting his words while trying not to escalate your headache.

"You were pretty badass out there. I've watched you fight before dude, your tough as nails, and I can't help but get this weird feelin in me, even after fights. I think,"

He paused, thinking over his next words,

"I think I.. like you? Is that weird? Is that gay to say or..?"

You couldn't help but laugh as he asked that, the irony of the situation and his wording was humorous, but when he admitted it, his face showing genuine truth, you felt your heart beat faster, you were excited, thrilled even. Seeing you laugh made his nerves calm down, his hold on you becoming caring, rubbing your back so you could clear your mind to think.

"Vance you're so fucking stupid, but, I like you too."

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i know this was a bit long, but i hope you liked it!! i had sm fun writing this omg 🫶🫶

requests r open, masterlist is up! have a lovely night

#vance hopper x you #vance hopper x reader #vance hopper #black phone #the black phone 2022 #queer #gay #confused vance #hes a little dumb #but hes sweet #the black phone #thriller #vance hopper x male reader

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ewingstan · 11 months

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top 5 favourite characters in any piece of media ever?

Oh Christ*. I doubt I could do real justice to this, but lets see if I can at least list in no particular order some of the characters I most like that have at least an orthogonal connection to this blog.

Rachel Lindt: Look, getting through the early parts of Worm were rough for me. Everything seemed a bit too exaggerated and ham-fisted, WB hadn't really learned how to do prose, and the only thing keeping me going was remembering that my cousin recommended it a while back and that that some out-of-context posts I'd seen from blastweave made it sound like it had some interesting ideas. But one of the early inexplicable hooks the story got into me was introducing this character who'd seem from a distance like another stock bully character, and almost immediately making me think "wait, I wanna see what he does with her. There's something there." And then there was! There's just something so satisfying about all her interactions with Taylor throughout the whole story; to the extent that I basically divide the story by the different periods of their relationship. She's everything.

Also, my posting about her was some of my first interactions with wormblr. Which is also the first fandom I think I could say I'm actually a part of? Like, there's plenty of things I'm a pretty huge fan of, I even have another fandom sideblog I started before this, but Worm got me actually posting instead of just passively reblogging for pretty much the first time. And Rachel got me there! So I have her to thank for answering this question at all in the first place.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus: The first character I liked in a blorbo kind of way, if that makes sense. Like, there's plenty of characters who I love, or who make the stories I love shine, or who I always had a fun time thinking about. But Harrow as a character just cracks open my brain in a way nothing else does. The Necromancy. The goth space Catholicism. The theatricality. The general horribleness. The specific combination of overwhelming presence and sad shitsack vibes. The specific combination of genius and ingenuity coupled with the crushing stubbornness and lack of creativity. Its not even like a key sliding into the lock in my heart, its like a lockpick that's clicking through all the tumblers in my heart-lock and revealing it for the flimsily-built masterlock-ass shit it is. I never used to get people who talked about how a character inspired them to pick up a hobby or take up an interest in something. But I ended up reading Lolita because of how much I loved Harrow! I started getting into Nabokov as a whole and finding one of my favorite writers because of Harrow! Nothing else does that to me! Which itself leads to...

Rose Lalonde: Did Harrow have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Harrow at all had Muir not loved, one summer, a certain initial witch-teen. In a comic by Hussie. Oh when? About as many years before GtN was written as my my age was that year. You can always count on my favorite characters for a fancy prose style.

No but Rose's verbose prose style really did cement her as one of my favorite characters. Like Bitch, she's a character that got me into an overly-long work I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle. I had attempted to start Homestuck a few times before I actually got into it, and the early computer-game jokes and user-submitted prompts weren't really engaging me. I did not see myself enjoying reading about John futzing around in his room for a few thousand pages. But man oh man, when the narrative switched focus to the literally purple-prosed kid obsessed with Lovecraft, I was ready for whatever the story wanted to do. I related to her and idolized her instantly. When I reread Homestuck much later, I related to her for much less complementary reasons. I have a particular (read: grating as hell) speaking style that's a result of being a kid who both thought of himself as smarter than everyone and was completely unsocial to the point of barely being able to have a conversation. I sound like an analytic philosophy paper written by an undergrad who's not invested in the topic or the course but who really wants to sound like he knows what he's talking about. The unique and specific character voices in Homestuck are the best part of the work for me, and when I first read Rose, I was basically reading who I wanted to be. And reading her later and realizing all the ways she's just a dumb kid makes me think of all the ways I was just a dumb kid, and how I'm trying to get to a place where I can converse with someone and feel comfortable without being condescending.

Look, there's a reason that despite Dave and Karkat having all my favorite moments in the work, I ended up owning two pairs of Rose t-shirts. And its the same reason I have a Ninth House outfit.

Kaladin Stormblessed: What if there was a story about trauma giving you superpowers fueled by bonding to an alien intelligence, but instead of the bonded spirit driving you towards self-destructive behavior it tried to make you into the best version of yourself? I've already talked a bit about how the Stormlight Archives has a surprising number of similarities to Worm, and reading it when I was a young teen probably contributed to developing the sensibilities that made Worm click for me. Plus, the cosmere was my first real multi-property media I got into, so it probably preempted me getting into comics as well (which this blog is also theoretically about). Speaking of—

Roberto da Costa: Feel weird about this, because I'm not even very familiar with the original Claremont stories he originated from. But the Al Ewing stories I read with him were some of the first Marvel comics I read at all (USAvengers was a weird-place to start that journey, tell ya hwat), and he set the tone for what modern big-two comics could do well perfectly. There's a lot of obvious problems with the eccentric billionaire hero archetype, but he's the best of that type of character. And while Ewing has written much better comics than the New Avengers/USAvengers runs he first used Roberto in, those stories were the ones that got me interested in Ewing in the first place. And I initially made this blog as a comics subblog devoted to his work! So again, this blog wouldn't really exist without Sunspot.

Special mention to: The March Hare+Doormouse. Putting them together because my parents met while playing them in their college theater program. Owing my existence to these characters means they probably deserve at least a mention. Also Jessie Pinkman and Sylvester Lambsbridge and Clint Barton and Saint Perpetua and Celestina the Witch and Smurov from Nabokov's "The Eye" and Quentin Brooks from Eidolon Playtest and the fictionalized version of Al Swearengen from Deadwood and Sister Carpenter from "The Silt Verses" and—

*No, I'm not putting him on the list.

#apologies for the extended lolita bit #especially for the horrible 'the sea'/'Hussie' rhyme I should have my keyboard taken away for that #ask game #leo says #i prolly got too personal with some of that sorry gents #also somehow all the characters I put on the official list were ones I related to or who got me into a sprawling work #while nearly all the special mention characters were conniving tricksters who get over their head but still end up looking damn impressive #so I guess that's the two ways to be my favorite character? Be a lovable huckster or be an uncomfortable reflection of my past self

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ababwa · 2 months

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(was a little busy the past two days; but i remembered i purchased a bunched of old aladdin comics like YEARS ago and i just cracked open the one where he meets his mother through time traveling

and

find out aladdin is kinda named after a dog gkfndskgasdf

this is obvi not hard canon-canon as his father in the comic is named hamid instead of cassim.

horribly explained spoilers that's probably not accurate because i should go to bed soon under the cut if you want to know what happens.)

The comic opens up with Aladdin and Abu hiding from a stalking tiger — who is actually just Rajah since Jasmine appears, stating they would find them. Abu gets so spooked by getting discovered, he falls into a nearby dried up well. At the bottom of the well, Abu finds a jeweled amulet and the couple discovers Aladdin's name is engraved in it.

Aladdin states that he wishes he could've gotten to know his parents more and so Genie appears, making a joke that the well is a wishing well, if he just asks to travel time to find out more about this amulet. Jasmine is apprehensive, but Aladdin and Genie time travel anyway.

Unfortunately, Genie zaps them too far into Agrabah's future and attempts to convince the local aliens that they're friendly, which leads them to being chased by a giant floating robot. Aladdin insists they need to get out of there, so Genie again uses his magic to time travel, but sending them too far back into Agrabah's past, to which they have to run from dinosaurs.

One more attempt, they find themselves back in a familiar looking Agrabah, but the well that Abu had fallen into earlier is filled with water, tipping Aladdin off that they're probably in the right place, but how will he know where to meet his parents? Genie leaves to try find more clues, leaving Al by himself.

He's then suddenly tackled by a masked (like think balaclava) and cloaked figure, telling him to watch out as they fall into a building. Al mistakes this as an attack on himself and tries to fight back by taking off the mask of his attacker, but discovers a young woman with short, curly hair, who insists she was saving him from a roc — a deadly, giant bird who is known to be able to pick up elephants and looks for treasure due to its greed and has been plaguing Agrabah for years. Al says he's heard about them when he was little before the girl introduces herself as Zena and explains that she had been hired to retrieve a treasure from the roc's nest that is perched high above a tower.

Aladdin helps her but also is too hasty and gets them into some trouble here and there and Zena saves his ass more lol. Interesting note that Al says here that he's been riding horses since he was three years old lol

Eventually they make it up the tower into the roc's nest (which has a giant spider web + giant spider at its base idk), which is empty. Zena starts searching for the treasure in the roc's hoard of things while Al keeps lookout. The roc appears immediately and Al chucks some of its treasure off the tower to distract it as it's greedy and the roc flies down into the webs and traps itself basically. The two escape before the roc has a chance to free itself from the webs.

Zena reunites with the person who hired her, some rich person in a caravan carriage and she hands over the treasure she found. Aladdin recognizes it immediately as it's the amulet Abu found, his name on it and everything. The rich person clips it onto his dogs collar — named Aladdin — explaining that it was a gift for his dog's first birthday. The dog immediately scratches at the collar and it flings off his neck, out the carriage window, and into the well near them. Whoops.

Zena thanks Al anyway with a kiss on the cheek for saving her life. Al is like gdi I came here to find out more about my parents but instead I find out there's a dog that shares my name smh

Genie returns and takes Aladdin back to his time, but the comic stays Zena, to which she's reunited with a beared man who has the same face as Aladdin named Hamid, who proudly exclaims he got a job selling lamps at the marketplace, so now the two of them can afford to get married. Zena expresses her happiness and excitement and then remarks that when the time comes, she knows exactly what to call their first son and what he thinks of the name "Aladdin" lmaoooooo

i mean

technically

i guess he's actually named after himself

since she's naming him after the boy she went on an adventure with

either way i'm laughing

#ooc #comics #maman #mother

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thebibliomancer · 1 year

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #289: Cube Root!

March, 1988

HEAVY METAL HORDE!

So the one rogue Super-Adaptoid problem has kinda snowballed into a whole thing, huh?

I’m brave enough to blame Dr Druid for this.

Because we’ve got the Super-Adaptoid (in default form), Machine Man, TESS-One, a Kree Sentry, and the Awesome Android running amok. Dammit, Dr Druid!

Last times in this comic: During the Avengers Under Siege arc, the Fixer inadvertently released the Super-Adaptoid who identity thefted him and shoved him in a tube. The Adaptoid later broke out of jail and tried to recruit the Awesome Android. While the Avengers stopped him, he slipped away and used Mentallo to lure the Avengers into a trap so he could recruit Machine Man and the Kree Sentry. Due to Dr Druid’s bad decision making, him and Black Knight got ambushed by the three robots calling themselves Heavy Metal. The robot team then used the Avengers Quinjet to get past Hydrobase’s security.

And now they’re here.

DAMMIT DR DRUID!

Also, writer Roger Stern was replaced by Ralph Macchio mid-story when Stern pushed back against Mark Gruenwald’s plan to make Monica look like an incompetent dope so that Captain America could take over the team.

I’m going to keep that in mind in case people start saying stuff like ‘this would never have happened if Captain America were here!’

Anyway, Heavy Metal immediately starts wrecking shit. Which is a shame. I’m pretty sure all the shit they’re wrecking had just been built.

Dick move, robots.

Namor, Marrina, and She-Hulk are on Hydrobase when the attack starts so they hear the alarms and realize that the returning Quinjet (that they apparently didn’t try to contact to confirm) was not Dr Druid and Black Knight.

She-Hulk snarks as she’s running off to go punch robots that she’ll have to talk to Captain Marvel to make the landing clearances more complex.

Namor tries to tell Marrina that she should stay behind so she doesn’t get hurt but she tells him to stick it up his butt.

Marrina: “My husband -- no! Hydrobase is my home now. And although I am not a full Avenger... when my home is threatened -- I fight!”

So Namor stops objecting and privately marvels at what a valorous woman she is and how proud he is to be her spouse.

Aw, that’s nice.

(Ignores cursed future knowledge)

She-Hulk finds the nearest robot aggressor and immediately punches it in the ass.

Alas.

The ass WHAKT! was not sufficient and its return punch launches She-Hulk through a building and jams her in some debris.

She can’t free herself before the Sentry arrives to follow-through. It plucks her from the rubble and swings her at a building until she’s knocked unconscious.

Huh. What ARE all these buildings though?

This location doesn’t look very Hydrobasey. Maybe that’s down to the change in creative team.

Anyway.

While Machine Man, the Kree Sentry, and TESS-One break stuff outside, the Super-Adaptoid slips into the Avengers Storage Warehouse.

The Adaptoid finds the deactivated Awesome Android and reprograms it to break shit.

AND THE AWESOME ANDROID JUST MARCHES THROUGH THE WALL

There was a door, guy!

But even this is just another distraction for the Avengers and the Fixtallo-Adaptoid goes off to achieve his final goal.

Meanwhile, Namor tackles TESS-One into a wall.

Unfortunately, TESS-One, despite being designed during World War II, has adamantium coating, making it hard for Namor to damage. Since all he knows is blunt force.

God. Adamantium really is too plentiful.

Marrina maybe didn’t get the message because she picks up a big rock and throws it at TESS-One. Resulting only in becoming the primary target for the robot to shoot its force beams at.

Namor jumps back on TESS-One and starts examining its head for a shutoff switch.

TESS-One just grabs Namor and hurls him through a building. And mid-throw, Namor spots that the Awesome Android is also wrecking shit up and makes the decision to switch focus to the Awesome Android and asks Marrina to deal with TESS-One.

Of course, given her track record so far, are you surprised that she instantly gets knocked out when TESS-One zaps her.

Dammit, Marrina.

I beg you. Have one (1) competence. You have extensive experience with Alpha Flight!

Elsewhere, Machine Man is flying above the oddly city looking Hydrobase and having a Concern.

It turns out that Machine Man is actually a Good Guy. Although he pretended to buy into the Super-Adaptoid’s claim he could bring back Jocasta, Machine Man was really playing along to find out what the Adaptoid’s real plan was.

(He also wanted to see if the Adaptoid could bring Jocasta back)

Except the Super-Adaptoid is playing things so close to his chest that Machine Man has learned nothing but has helped beat up some Avengers and invade their headquarters.

And since the construction crews were still working on the island (and are seen running in panic from all the fighting) Machine Man decides that the risk to human life is now too much for him to keep playing along.

He’s going to flip sides!

Also on the island is Dr. Walt Newell, the good guy Stingray!

He’s the one who owns Hydrobase and he’s leasing it to the Avengers.

So he’s not super thrilled to see it get smashed up by a bunch of robots.

He puts on his Stingray battlesuit and flies off to attack the first robot he sees!

WHICH IS MACHINE MAN

BECAUSE OF COURSE STINGRAY WASN’T AROUND TO HEAR MACHINE MAN MONOLOGUING ABOUT HOW HE WAS SWITCHING SIDES!

Machine Man insists that he’s on Stingray’s side and that they should work together.

Stingray is amenable... if Machine Man answers some questions.

Inside the Avengers’ communications complex, the Fixermentallo-Adaptoid has finished bypassing the security on the Avengers’ computers so he can access their files on the Cosmic Cube.

Thankfully, the Avengers have several adjacent monitors so a bunch of information can be displayed on several screens. Tabs are for underachievers.

Wait, the Aquarian?

-google-

Apparently Steve Gerber created him as a pastiche on Superman, which in this case means DC almost sued Marvel because in this case the line between pastiche and plagiarism was razor-thin.

But I digress.

The Super-Adaptoid has learned from the Avengers’ files that the Cosmic Cube is not even on Earth. And that’s what the Adaptoid is after.

But he’s got a backup plan and sends out a hyperspace transmission.

Captain Marvel returns from finding Dr Druid and Black Knight and getting them to the hospital. Because this is the Monica Rambeau incompetence arc, the Adaptoid psychic blasts her unconscious without even turning away from the transmitter.

Not only that but since he got her right when she was shifting to her light form, she also starts discorporating.

Why do you hate Monica so much, Gruenwald?

Meanwhile, outside, She-Hulk has regained consciousness and starts fighting the Kree Sentry. Also, Namor comes to save Marrina from TESS-One by punching it in the head a bunch but the Awesome Android grabs him and starts twisting the prince of Abslantis into a pretzel.

BUT:

Marrina has one (1) competence!

She rams the Awesome Android with a bulldozer, causing the robot to lose hold of Namor.

Sure, the Awesome Android then smacks the bulldozer into the ocean but hey, she’s fine in water.

Namor confirms that Marrina is fine and then smashes into the ground to smash out of the ground under the Awesome Android so he can dunk him into the ocean.

Its a tactic he uses a lot as a villain. He is strongest in water after all and other people generally need to breath. You’re headquartered on an island and you didn’t think of it sooner?

Okay, okay, okay. Its easy to criticize. It’s good that you thought of it now.

Elsewhere on the beach, the Kree Sentry corners She-Hulk against the water.

The robot bats She-Hulk into the water with a tree and then goes wading after her. Luckily, She-Hulk has a guardian Marrina.

Marrina: “No! No! Take your hands off her! No Avenger will die if I can help it!”

She jumps on the Sentry and starts trying to rip its head off.

And she manages to actually topple the Sentry and submerge it.

Inside Hydrobase, I guess Machine Man successfully convinced Stingray that he was on the level because the two of them bust in together to try to stop the Super-Adaptoid.

While Stingray gets taken out with one blast, just like Monica, Machine Man manages to start grappling the Adaptoid.

The Adaptoid just laughs off Machine Man’s attack as Just As Planned. The Super-Adaptoid super-adapts even Machine Man’s powers, and copies his face.

Meanwhile, back outside, all the fighting seems to have moved into the ocean.

After dunking the Awesome Android into the water, Namor finds that it has mimicked his bouyancy. So he just rips Andy’s head clean off.

Oof.

TESS-One has also waded out into the water to continue the fight and draws a bead on Namor. But She-Hulk and Marrina shove its robot legs and TESS-One stumbles off the edge of Hydrobase.

See, its not a real island. It doesn’t go all the way down. You know those scary pictures of places where the continental shelf just DROPS OFF.

Kinda like that is happening to TESS-One.

Hm. The Avengers are going to have a lot of waterlogged killer robots in the oceans around their base.

But after defeating those soggy robots, Namor, She-Hulk, and Marrina notice a bright light coming from the communications complex.

It turns out that the Super-Adaptoid’s hyperspace transmission has summoned a Cosmic Cube. But not just any Cosmic Cube.

Cosmic Cube has evolved into a Transformer!

The Fixermentallodruidmachineman-Adaptoid answers Kubik’s demand to know who rang.

Super-Adaptoid: “Like yourself, I am a creation of the scientists who comprised A.I.M. Once I did their bidding -- but no longer. I have my own needs now, and my own methods of satisfying them.Even those mechanical entities whose aid I enlisted in my attempt to draw you here are as nothing compared to me. Let me approach you now in my purest, most undiluted form, that you may see the truth of him who called you.”

And the Super-Adaptoid purges the appearances/powers(?) that he’s adapted and takes on the generic metal man no features form.

Kubik disputes the statement that he was created by AIM, instead saying that it was more like his essence was plucked from another universe and shoved into a cube and forced to do reality warping.

So this conversation is off to a fantastic start.

Kubik asks why the Adaptoid summoned him and the Adaptoid says he's lonely, oh so lonely.

Super-Adaptoid: "I desire... progeny. You see, I am unique -- A.I.M. was able to create one of me, and even that single creation may have been accidental. Now I desire others of my ilk... worthy to stand at my side and rule this planet when I have conquered it!”

Okay... started this answer somewhat sympathetic and plunged into un.

Kubik tells him to fuck off.

Kubik: "Kubik is no longer an immature entity, a nascent life form granting the wishes of whosoever holds me. The only changes I make in the world are those I desire. And they are few. Your wishes will not be delivered."

Then the Super-Adaptoid tells Kubik to fuck off.

Since he's the Super-Adaptoid, he'll just super-adapt Kubik's powers. He can do this, you see. He's a Super-Adaptoid.

I guess more to the point, AIM created him with a sliver of a cosmic cube so his power source is similar to Kubik. But its a frequent point that slivers of cosmic cubes don't have the same power as the fully cubic deal. And the next thing Kubik-Adaptoid says is that he's now equal in power to Kubik and uses the possibility of a reality-endangering stalemate between them to tell Kubik to fuck off back to space.

Super-Adaptoid: “At last my destiny is at hand! At last my merest whim becomes immutable fact! I am beyond conquest or challenge! The Super-Adaptoid has become -- THE MASTER OF ALL REALITY!”

Can’t wait for pride to goeith before you fall, bud.

Follow @essential-avengers if you think Monica deserves better. Like and reblog if you think Kubik looks like a transformer or if you liked this post and think other people should see it.

#avengers #essential avengers #Heavy Metal #Super Adaptoid #Machine Man #TESS One #Kree Sentry #Awesome Android #Kubik #Stingray #namor mckenzie #captain marvel #Monica Rambeau #Marrina #She Hulk #Dr Druid who isn't here for some reason #the reason is that he made poor decisions #essential marvel liveblogging #my enjoyment of this arc is colored by what I know of the behind the scenes stuff

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mushangaa · 3 months

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Don't mind me I'm just gonna whine a bit. So a couple of days ago, before my flare-up really kicked me in the teeth and made me too exhausted for big things, I was working on the cover for chapter 1 of my comic. (it serves hard by the way)

But eh, halfway through I realized I need to redo the entire thing. Problem is in the initial sketch phase I did overwork the paper a bit to hard, which is not so easy to do since it is a 300g/m³ (140lb) paper, meaning medium weight class meaning this paper will not wrap that easily and bc it is cold pressed it also can take some water and all that jazz - bottom line is, it is a good sturdy paper and I am glad I found the perfect paper that suits my workflow and is not too expensive too. But also, I managed to rough up that sturdy paper with the eraser and pencil in ways that are hard to achieve. So yeah I thought I could work around that - n o p e. The colour blooms and bleeds were it should not, I sometimes let it do that deliberately but for certain areas there is drying phases and stuff for more precise brushstrokes etc. Like... I have a good balance on when to control and when to let my inks do as they please with some mild interference from me. Also water control is a bitch tha sometimes loves me and sometimes will f me over but I also know how to work with that. But when the paper is damaged that all means jack shit. No matter how dry it is, the colour will bleed over into areas that are dry just because of the structures I created with erasure friction and there ain't not much I can do about that. I already overworked it and I also have a good amound of graphite that just fused into the paper that even the eraser could no longer pick up that rose to the surface of my colours like it is paying rent. Long story short I messed up my paper in ways that make it impossible for me to fix and I was more than halfway done with the colours by the point I accepted this does not work for me and i have to redo the entire thing. Next issue is that transferring the lineart from one paper to another is horrible with paper as thick as the one I use and my light sheet is a trouper but just not bright enough for the job lol So yeahhhh I am still very exhausted in general but I just wanna tackle the cover again and it is all a lil frustrating hence why I am writing a huge rant about it to get it outta my system and then I will pick up my pencil again and redo this cover rahhhhh. (and like, I am not even a perfectionist, I used to be one, but I trained myself out of that in my early 20s because it was just not helpful or valuable so I usually work with mistakes or work around them because honestly? I am aware most people would not even notice those things I only know they are there because I was there to witness me making them. But this one looks really like ass so I have to redo it. I can't let someone fab like horsegirl Leo look anything less than his best and having green and red bleed together constantly because the paper texture is messed up is so not working for either of us.)

Lessons to take away from this: - don't overwork the goddamn paper - no matter the level of artist you can and will mess up spectacularly and that is okay - sometimes you gotta stop being stubborn, quit and start again, there is nothing to gain but frustration from keeping working on something that just isn't working - and, more personal, wear the goddamn compression opera gloves during sketching and lining for the love of god it helps with the heavy handedness you absolute fool.

#mushanga speaks #art related rant #whining #the unicorn paradox #growing pains of starting a new comic I guess #it's been a while my guys

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cdreambur · 9 months

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tumblr didnt notify me!!! >:( !!!

yeeesss this this htisssss wil cant comprehend that those two are the same exact person!! How could they? One is the most annoying thing ever, 'an ulcer on ass' as one saying goes, while the other is the literal angel on Earth (he can fly too, so extra points on the angel scale)

How does Wil try to tackle the whole debacle in his head? also im going to lean on you for the worldbuilidng bits since i did not grow up with any kind of popular superhero media :sob: i only know some kind of spiderman stuff from game playthrough

Does he think about the fact that the reason for seeking out the hero are starting to shift?

most of the stuff until now, i've based on comics, but i'm also adding a bunch of my own ideas here because ✨creative freedom✨

but yeah, i think he struggles a lot. this part of his world has been turned upside down and it's hard to look at dream and superman respectively because now that he knows, he sees traces of the other persona shimmer through.

he has no idea how to feel about it, and in the end, he chooses the easy way out: focus on his job.

which is easier said than done when things start to change after a bank heist where he was held hostage and superman saved him.

dream starts being really nice to him at work, even declining big opportunities and suggesting to give them to wilbur instead.

simultaneously, superman starts appearing around him. helping him when someone tries to rob him, threatening the guys picking on his younger brother tommy, catching the man who broke into his dad's apartment.

wil doesn't realize he's falling until it's too late.

sure, he knew that his motives to see superman might have shifted. sure, he knew that he stopped being annoyed by dream months ago.

but now, finally having solid proof that dream is superman, he realizes that it goes deeper.

and wil has to decide if he wants to write and publish the most important article of his career or protect the identity and the heart of the man who stole his.

#all the while dream is just struggling with how to ask the pretty guy from work out lol #also i've decided to name this kryptonite au since wilbur is literally dream's kryptonite #kryptonite au #karo 🌼#ask

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generic-lab-assistant · 2 years

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Here it is, the man, the myth, the Floridian

I wrote this all at work so sorry if its all summed up terribly i havent written fiction in a long ass time & i mainly write with bullet points & shitty scripts, i was planning to try and make a comic of him so maybe one day thatll happen, plus i might fuck around & make a comic where he enters the carnival and stuff, who knows- anyway since i wrote this at work and have god awful memory, go easy on me

Ralph is sitting in front of his camcorder (or whatever you used to record videos in 1980), after showing off his guns and acting like he knew how to load them, he quickly ran through his Epic Carter Removal Plan.

“Now, ya see, I have this timed bomb- once I press the special button on it then I got ‘round, eh, 15 minutes I think, to jump an’ tackle that sonuva bitch! Then, I’ll just hold him real tight and the bomb’ll go off! I’ll blow that corpse-raisin’ bastard to hell where ‘e belongs and save the damn country- plus, the world!!”

He pauses, then takes in a realization but smiles.

“Course I’ll ‘ave to die too, but itll be known that what i did was good when they get the news from ma’ dad. Ha- he’s gonna be so pumped to know that his son succeeded at somethin’!”

“Now, tomorrow is my big day, so to whoever ends up watchin’ this tape after I go blam, make sure nobody after Carter knocks down any satellites or raises any zombies. Good luck to me.”

He grins and shuts off the recorder.

*The Next Day, Nov 20. 1980: about 12:30 in the afternoon*

A small crowd gathers in Florida, Jimmy Carter is by a podium giving a speech. As he ends and is walking among the crowd (ala George Wallace, what up Bremer), Ralph presses the button on his bomb and begins to weave through the people and towards Carter. Once hes only a few feet away, he looks on with an anime-like sense of determination and sprints the rest of the few feet to Carter- leaping through the air and tackling the president to the concrete- yelling ‘IVE GOT YOU YA SONUVA BITCH!!’- as people yell and scream and two policemen rush to grab Ralph off of him.

As they grab him, his thoughts run theough him in a panic:

“Why’d the bomb not go off?? Why the hell didn’t it go off??!!”

As he is dragged away he yells at the officers- “Goddammit Im rigged to explode! Let me go! Let me the hell go!! Im bout ta blow the fuck up if ya dont let me go dammit!!”

He continues to panic and attempt to get out of the policemens grips, when his bomb timer beeps. With a sharp yell of ‘DAMN YOU ALL-‘ only slightly cut off at the end as the explosive goes off and Ralph & the policemen explode. Blood & bits of gore and miscellaneous bits & pieces rain from the sky and hit those in crowd, several people who were the closest retain a few minor injuries after the incident, but those harmed the most are the two (now dead) pigs, and Ralph, who is almost unrecognizeable as he is now in very many various bloody parts.

His parts are picked up and disposed of after a quick autopsy in a cheap wooden box, not even a coffin. His only relative is his father, who could care less about proper burial. He is only left with a headstone in a Floridian cemetary: ‘Ralph Hewitt Myers

Oct 8. 1949-

Nov. 20. 1980’

#i continue to reiterate that i wrote this at work since i work in a hot ass kitchen #which affects any sort of writing in any way #assassins the musical #ralph content

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thespit · 9 months

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He hurt his butt and the trash didn't cushion it one bit! I was actually pretty okay with how this sequence turned out, since i'd hemmed and hawwed about how to tackle it for so long. This would only be my second attempt at choreographing any fight ever, the first of course being the first time I tried drawing this comic. The "za za za" is my own version of "chiri chiri", "zawa zawa" or "dododo" you see in Kaiji and jjba respectively, as I am a fan of ominous sound effects and the aesthetic flavor the text gives fitting into the page. The specific way it was lettered was derived from a font, which I eventually shaped and redrew into it's own thing. You'll be surprised to hear that graphic design is in fact not my passion, however the lettering design for sound effects is something i've worked pretty hard to refine since they're so important for the overall appeal of each page. Not being clear about how they should be designed or fit in was a damn bug up my ass. When I first started, I'd decided I wouldn't be lettering the sfx in japanese and made other decisions based solely on the fact that doing so wasn't accepted at the time some 8 or 9 odd years back. Naturally that created new circles to square. For one I am not a fan of conventional english sound effect onomatopoeia, so it was noticibly awkward to readers to see japanese sound effects in plain english. As you can see though, I didn't really change that totally. What I did change was my perspective. I picked up Hayashida Q's version of Maken X, titled Maken X: Another. I didn't finish it, however the translated version of the manga tackled the problem of sound effects translation in a very interesting way. It was in english, and off and on it was literal or written in english onomatopoeia tastefully. But the most important part was that the lettering for the sfx retained the original japanese character styling even in spite of that, and the sound effects in themselves seemed more akin to symbols complimenting the art than even their original purpose as sounds. To me, this idea was revolutionary. I also wasn't familiar with it as what I had seen from english translators was conventional, western styled sound effects edited over the original ones (black lagoon is a good example of this) Rarely do these solutions ever appear with such a good result, since it was so much of a burden. It makes me pretty happy all around.

#art stuff #manga #comic #webcomic

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coldflasher · 2 years

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i am, as always, consumed by my rogues season agenda, and i’m also always imagining different ways the show could have gone, ways they could have tackled certain plots. it’s the fic writer in me. and i have been thinking about one particular way they could have done a rogues-focused season and the more i think about it the more it makes sense to me, but it begins with what is probably a very hot take.

i think they introduced len too early.

now i LOVE len. we know this. his season 1 eps are my faves, they are all brilliant amazing incredible show-stopping etc etc, obviously, BUT, as has been discussed time and time again by me (and others, but i rabbit on about this quite a bit) there aren’t enough of them. there REALLY aren’t enough of them.

my knowledge of the comics is very limited (i own precisely two flash comics) so i may be incorrect, but by my understanding, after the reverse flash, captain cold is THE villain. he’s barry’s second-biggest threat. he comes after him time and time again, they have had so many clashes over the years. yet in the show, len is a minor antagonist at best. they introduce him, they make him compelling and powerful and incredible and they... don’t really use him? it’s like they were checking boxes of who fans would most want to see—who are the flash’s most iconic villains?—but then they already had a big bad in the reverse flash so len gets sidelined. he has a few eps in s2, becomes an ally and gets picked up by the legends and bows out, and that’s it. as we all agree, a true waste of an incredible character who could and should have been a far bigger threat.

so here’s my proposal:

we know len is a planner. he spends months intricately plotting his schemes down to the exact second. and yet when he meets barry in season 1, all of that IMMEDIATELY goes out of the window. he becomes a lot less meticulous, and goes in, if you’ll pardon the pun, all guns blazing—which, imo, is why barry is able to beat him, when len has previously managed to evade the cops for so long and has pulled off so many jobs without being caught. because len has abandoned his usual carefulness and essentially gotten sloppy. mick even comments on this, the fact that len used to be so precise and now his obsession and determination to beat barry is his undoing, because he loses this carefully cultivated patience and detachment and becomes reactive, and in that he loses some of his danger. and yet even when he’s going in half cocked, with no real plan to speak of, he almost gets the better of barry on numerous occasions. therefore i think it’s fair to assume that with prior planning he could have been even more of a threat.

so to this end, imagine that if instead of meeting len in season one, the audience has no idea he exists—or maybe there are occasional hints, the odd name drop so we know he’s gonna show up eventually, but we don’t actually ever see him. he’s not the focus here; barry has other shit to deal with. but behind the scenes, len is aware of metahumans, and that he now has competition when it comes to crime—competition with powers that give them an innate advantage over even a thief as competent and careful as len. and more importantly, there’s someone out there stopping them—someone who is more competent and powerful than the police and has taken the law into his own hands. if len keeps stealing and committing crimes—which he will—eventually he will be on this guy’s radar, and it’s a fight he has no guarantee of winning. but this is leonard snart, whose plans are meticulous, who can outsmart top security experts and has been pursued by the cops for years without getting caught because he plans. for. everything. so he does what he always does: he starts gathering intel. because when he goes up against the flash, he’s not going to be another one of those criminals who gets his ass kicked and disappears off the streets. he’s not going in there until he knows exactly what he’s up against.

so we have up to a year of captain cold quietly watching from the sidelines as the flash goes from little more than a rumour to this hugely public figure, saving the city. len stalks iris’ blog, appears at crime scenes to watch and learn, keeps detailed notes, and catalogues everything he knows, piecing together a detailed picture of what makes the flash tick, his strengths and weaknesses, what his abilities are, and any time that a meta has, even temporarily, gotten the better of him. he learns how to hurt him and what his achilles heel is; how fast he is; exactly what he can do. barry, and by extension, the audience, is aware of none of this, because we’re dealing with all of season one’s mess, the reverse flash, whatever.

so we get to season two, post singularity. as we know, when the season starts, barry is isolated, having cut himself off from team flash. he’s trying to rebuild the city by himself, taking everything that happened onto his shoulders. he’s lonely, he’s vulnerable, he’s dealing with the emotional fallout of having vanquished this demon that’s haunted him since childhood, having not saved his mom when he had the chance, and two of his friends having died in his name.

this is the moment when len decides to strike.

i think we could still have going rogue as an excellent introductory episode, with the stolen cold gun and the revelation of cisco’s mistrust, but with more emotion behind it, because a) cisco and barry have been friends for longer and therefore the betrayal cuts deeper, and b) cisco now has a deeper reason to fear speedsters, because he’s still haunted by the memories of being murdered by the reverse flash. meanwhile, barry has already been pushing away his friends because he feels ashamed and unworthy and afraid that they resent him, and now he finds out they made a gun to put him down?? the HURT. he’s also weaker than usual, because he’s been isolating himself and he’s going through his all emotional shit. we go through everything in going rogue, meet len as a villain, and then team flash reunites at the end of the ep with cisco saving him, we re-establish the lesson that they will always have his back and they’ll be stronger as a team... and len learns that for all his planning, there were things he didn’t count on. like the flash having a team, while len has just cut his own allies loose, and no one in central city is willing to go up against the flash... except for other metas.

so len starts recruiting for his rogues gallery.

this acts as the setup for the rest of the season. instead of the earth 2 metas, barry’s weekly antagonists are the rogues, with len as the criminal mastermind orchestrating the whole thing. we meet our first few villains, and then team flash starts putting together the pieces and realising the connections, until finally we confront mick, len, and lisa for the first time, and then later, more rogues join the team and rally against the flash, who has not made himself popular with the city’s metahuman population, considering that he’s considered a traitor to his kind and it’s public knowledge that the metas he fights disappear without trial and are never heard from again... and of course, some of the metas (mardon, baez, etc) have personal experience with the flash’s idea of justice, aka a solitary confinement cell that almost certainly constitutes a human rights violation. they’re scared, they’re angry, they’re powerful, and they now have someone to lead them who knows exactly how to utilise them effectively and has learned from every prior failure, and won’t make the same mistake twice. with this comes a very humbling realisation for barry, which is that he’s still very fallible and very human. he makes the wrong call sometimes and he’s not the hero in everyone’s story. and i think it’d be made even more poignant by the fact that, at the centre of it all, this person who’s causing all this trouble is this very human man whose biggest weapon isn’t even the cold gun, it’s his intellect, and his shrewdness, and his ability to know exactly where to hit.

the reverse flash, for barry, was almost a mythic figure in the end. he’s haunted barry for over half his life. he’s unstoppable, he’s godlike. a threat like that is difficult to top. in canon, we then get zoom, who is perhaps even more terrifying, but imagine how interesting it would be to have gone the other way, and have barry’s next villain be someone who doesn’t seem anywhere near as threatening at first, but then barry underestimates him, because when you’ve fought the monster from under your bed, some guy with a gun doesn’t seem so bad... but the guy with the gun knows all your weaknesses and won’t rest until he’s destroyed you. and this would, in my opinion, perhaps have helped to negate the trap the show wrote itself into, where every villain has to become so much more powerful that it becomes nearly impossible to top it. if every threat is the end of the universe, you kind of hit a ceiling of where you can go, which is how we ended up with just a series of increasingly powerful speedsters because nothing else had a chance at defeating barry. but it didn’t have to be that way? they could have shown how other metas, ostensibly minor ones, or even just ordinary people could be just as much of a threat with the right tactics, perhaps especially because barry doesn’t SEE them as credible until it’s too late.

and the thing about this is we could still end with barry and len in the same place. after a season of fighting, they come to know each other, respect each other. they understand each other’s point of view. they reach their impasse, but with a full season’s development behind it. we could still meet lewis so that we understand why len’s instinct is to hate cops and people who lay down the law, why he plans and hides and waits, and why he saw a potential threat and immediately went on the defensive. you could even still end with len leaving to join the legends, but it’d have so much more magnitude behind it because he’s had more time to grow and to have his worldview change and to develop his connection to barry and see where there could be good in him, somewhere, and to want to emulate that. the moments of kindness and mercy where he sees that not everyone is out to get him. meanwhile barry gets a peek behind the curtain and gets to understand what could lead someone down the path to being his big bad meta of the week, and len also teaches him what oliver never managed to quite get into his head: slow down. think. take your time. it’s not so much about the skills you have as to how you use them.

the fact is there’s a reason why so much of the fandom is obsessed with a character who was in a total of less than ten episodes. they squandered him, honestly. they had so much potential there that they never really used, and when i think about what they could have done with it... the fact is that the foundations of len’s development are strong, but if they’d taken the time to fully explore it and devoted a full season to his and barry’s dynamic, it could have honestly been such a fascinating and different season and i think i’ve made my case as to the reasons why it would have worked so well.

anyway i’ll be off sulking in my fanfiction hole if anyone needs me, sigh

#long post for ts #gonna start tagging all my rogues season rants with #rogues season agenda #coldflash

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arotechno · 3 years

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Jughead (2015), Issues 7-8: Discussion and Commentary

Boy oh boy am I excited to talk about this arc!! These two issues hold a very special place in my cold little aro heart.

(By the way, do you see that? I managed to get a digital copy from my library via Hoopla, which means you are spared from my shitty phone grabs. I’ll fix the previous post, don’t worry. Try clicking on the screenshots if tumblr blurs them. And try Hoopla, if you’ve got a library card and have been looking to read these.)

Fed up with him sitting around the house playing video games all summer, Mr. Jones forces Jughead to get out of the house and do something outside. Jughead finds Archie at the pool where he’s working as a lifeguard, and convinces him to take time off to go camping in the woods with him at their friend Dilton’s cottage.

They take Archie’s car out to the woods, only to find that the lake is overrun with Reggie’s over-the-top relatives at the Mantle family reunion. Horrified, Jughead and Archie go out on a hike to get away. This is where things go downhill—literally.

Jughead calls Archie out for his growing fixation with Veronica Lodge, whose father is the one trying to clear out Fox Forest. Archie immediately goes on the defensive, but Jughead, understandably, really doesn’t get it. And here’s where we see that this is a divide that has been brewing between them for quite some time, even if Archie seemingly had no idea it was happening.

The boys end up getting lost, which only serves to fuel their frustrations. It occurs to Jughead, some time later, that the lake they’re camping at is not that far from Camp Lucey, an all-girls summer camp. Shocked and hurt, he accuses Archie of only agreeing to go on the trip to pick up girls, and not to hang out with him. He tackles Archie and they tumble down a hill into the woods below.

This is a really interesting story, from an aro’s perspective. Jughead can’t relate to Archie’s teenage obsession with girls, and it isn’t something they can bond over like other friends may have been able to do. On a simple level, all Jughead really wants to do is hang out with his best friend, just the two of them, just like old times—back when they were younger, before Archie’s interest in girls seemed to take over his every waking moment. Importantly, Jughead never objects to Archie’s romantic pursuits on principle (he does have an issue with Veronica, but that has to do more with her father’s actions than her). It isn’t that he wants to stand in the way of Archie’s happiness—he just feels left behind, and that’s something I think a lot of aromantic people, teenagers especially, can resonate with.

Eventually, Archie and Jughead run into Mr. Weatherbee of all people, who begrudgingly offers to help lead them back to camp. It’s at this point that we get one of my favorite moments in the entire series, one that I have waxed poetic about on this blog before and probably will again.

Archie insists that he is in fact here to hang out with Jughead, and that he’s just being dramatic. Jughead, on the other hand, insists that Archie’s the one being dramatic with his love triangle problems, to which Archie replies:

“Look, I’m not going to apologize for being a normal guy, I—”

And Jughead’s reaction to those words has stuck with me since the first time I read this. He’s shocked, hurt, and clearly a little angry that Archie would say something like that. And it’s a subtle moment, one that you might not even feel the gravity of if you didn’t know that Jughead was aro. What’s most important here, though, isn’t Jughead’s reaction, but the fact that Archie is clearly in the wrong, and he knows it. He tries to backtrack immediately (“Jughead! I didn’t mean it like that! Wait!”), but Jughead ignores him, as Mr. Bee has already gotten them lost again.

This singular page is, to me, a deeper and more nuanced portrayal than many works with “on-the-page” canon aromantic characters. This arc isn’t about Jughead being aro (in fact, none of the comics particularly are). But this is a meaningful incorporation of Jughead’s orientation into his daily life and his relationships with other people—namely, with his best friend. Although Jughead is being somewhat harsh with Archie, never does the narrative place him in the wrong for feeling abandoned, hurt, or angry because of Archie’s words and actions. Even Archie, his best friend, is capable of saying things that hurt him, and his words in this scene are never excused or justified by the narrative.

It also means a lot to me that Archie apologizes the second he gets the chance to, and that Jughead is quick to forgive him and explain that he just misses the time before Archie was so obsessed with girls. I wouldn’t want the story to just turn into a feud between them. You know when you’re on a trip with your friends and you get lost and you’re tired and frustrated you just end up airing your grievances and coming out of it with a new understanding of your friendship while trying to solve the mess you’re in? That’s what this arc is.

Anyway, after a run-in with Reggie’s relative and Mr. Weatherbee’s old high school bully Ted Mantle, the trio manage to make it out of the woods—after several hours of walking until the sun has come up. There, they find that Camp Lucey has actually been renamed, and is now a camp for elementary school girls, where Betty happens to be working. So after all of that, Archie just ends up making a fool of himself, like usual. Mr. Bee’s wife drives over to rescue them and brings the boys back to Dilton’s cottage, where she remarks that she’s heard a lot about Archie and Jughead, and that they’re inseparable.

At its core, this is a story about friendship. It’s about the difficulties that come with realizing you can’t always relate to each other, and you can’t always read each other’s minds, and you sometimes say the wrong thing without meaning to. It’s a story about growing up, but not necessarily growing apart, and being able to reconcile your differences.

Archie assumes that after all of their bickering, Jughead would just want to go home and not hang out with him anymore. But turning back now would be contrary to what Jughead wanted in the first place, which was just to hang out with his best friend.

All’s well that end’s well, and Jughead and Archie patch things over and vow that they will always be best friends. It’s a wholesome moment, and reflects a common struggle for aspec teens that I rarely see addressed in media, if at all. Sometimes, it feels like your friends are all moving on without you, and sometimes they don’t even realize it when they’ve been neglecting your friendship. It takes communication to work these things out, and I’m happy to see that illustrated here.

This arc is my favorite, I think, and there’s reasons for that even outside of the aspects I’ve already detailed here. The kids getting lost in the woods on summer vacation is a fun way of framing the deeper story, and there are a lot of funny and endearing moments in these two issues. (Archie falls on his face, a lot, and Mr. Weatherbee is stoically exasperated with both of their antics.)

These are the last issues written by Chip Zdarsky. So shoutout to him for some of the most nuanced representations of aromanticism in fiction to date, even if he never wrote the word down on the page (I’ll get to that, don’t worry). But these are the first issues illustrated by Derek Charm, whose art style I love (no offense Erica Henderson), and the rest of the volume has a lot of other good aro moments in store. Until then, here’s himbo Archie:

See? Pure of heart, dumb of ass. You can’t be mad at him for long. (He falls into a hole later on the same page.)

Yeah, me too.

#woo!!!#techno's jughead reread #aro #aromantic #aro jughead #ace jughead #aroace jughead #jughead jones #jughead comics #long post #op

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awkward-gay-bro · 3 years

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Just A Prank

“Hey guys, I’ve got something pretty funny in store for you today! Andrew aka LAHFW is staying the week at my place while his gets fumigated. We all know how much he loves pranks and magic...and I found a website dedicated to both!” Stuart walked over to his cupboard and pulled out a bottle. “The website is called ‘Presto’ and they guarantee to deliver. I ordered this bottle of ‘Presto: Hair-B-Gone’ and swapped it out for Andrew’s body wash. This should be great!”

“What the hell?!” The sounds of running water in the bathroom came to a halting stop. “Dude what the hell?!” Andrew swung the bathroom door open, glaring at Stuart. He no loner had any hair below his eyes, his body now smoother than the day he was born.”

Still looking at the camera, Stuart chuckled, “Don’t worry, man! It’s just a prank.”

************************************************************

“Alright guys, Stuart got me pretty bad in that last video. But I found his little website and made an order of mine. He swapped my body wash, so I swapped his!” Andrew lifted two bottles into view, one was the bottle of liquid that had removed all his hair. “This is what he used, so I figured I’d have to do him one better. This bottle is called ‘Double Bubble Bath’ it’s supposed to have some pretty cheeky side effects.”

The shower turned off and the bathroom door slammed loudly. The sounds of dresser doors repeatedly opening and slamming closed came from Stuart’s room and Andrew burst out laughing. “Having some troubles in there bud?”

“I think you know I am!” Stuart yelled back. “I can’t find anything that fits!’

Ten minutes passed, with just the sounds of Stuart grunting in pain as Andrew laughed hysterically. Then suddenly, the door to Stuart’s room opened.

“Very funny.” Stuart was standing there in a pair of gym shortest that looked three sizes too small. “These shorts were the only thing I could fit in.”

“I don’t think the camera can see why, why don’t you give us a little twirl?” Stuart followed suit, slowly doing a 360. His rear end had tripled in size, looking comically big on his otherwise fit frame. The fabric was pulled so tight across his cheeks you could tell he couldn’t find any underwear that still fit.

“I’m going to have to get a whole new wardrobe until this wears off. You know this means war.”

“It’s just a prank, right?”

************************************************************

“So Andrew took these pranks to a whole new lever, so I really had to step up my game. Lucky for me, I found the perfect thing on ‘Presto’ to knock him down a peg.” As Stuart backed away from the camera, his massive new rear end knocked over the chair behind him. “Oh, sorry guys, this thing still hasn’t gone down.” He leaned down to pick up the chair, unintentionally showing off his bouncing cheeks in the tightest pair of khakis he could fit into. The pants split straight down the middle, showing his underwear to the camera as the video cut away.

The video cut back, and Stuart was now wearing a tight pair of running leggings. “We’re about to go for a run and I slipped something special from ‘Presto’ into his shoes. They’re called ‘Any Flats Soles.’ The description online said they’ll make any pair of shoes into the perfect flats, guaranteed to help you look shorter in any outfit.” Turning his face away from the camera, Stuart yelled, “You almost ready for our run?”

“Yeah, I just can’t find my running shoes. Have you seen them?” Andrew said from off camera.

“They’re in the hall by the backdoor!” Stuart grabbed the camera and took it with him as he walked to the hall to watch his prank unfurl. He got there just in time to see Andrew tying his laces.

“Why do you have the camera, what did you do?” But Andrew’s question was quickly answered as he dropped inch by inch, step by step. By the time he’d walked over to Stuart he was now craning his head to make eye contact with the man he’d previously had to look down at.

“Oh gosh, you’re not even eye level with my shoulders now!” Stuart stuck out his hand and tousled Andrew’s hair. “We better get going! With those short legs this run is going to be way longer.”

Andrew lifted his shirt up, which was hanging to his knees, “I don’t think I’m going to make it very far unless I change.”

“Sucks when you have to buy new clothes,” Stuart turned to his side, showing off his gargantuan mounds in the tight leggings, “You’re probably going to have to check out the children’s section little guy. Don’t worry, it’s just a prank.”

************************************************************

“So you guys know Stuart and I are in a little bit of a prank war right now, and I definitely got the short end of the stick thanks to his latest video. He’s been calling me little ever since, so I have a little surprise of my own for him.” Andrew lifted up a tank top that looked massive next to his shrunken frame. “This is Stuart’s muscle tank he usually wears to work out. I swapped it out with a very special tank-top I got from ‘Presto.’ Shout out to ‘Presto,’ guys. They caught wind of our feud and actually sent this one free of charge!”

Andrew climbed down off of the stepping stool he’d placed in front of the camera. With his whole body in frame it was clearly visible he was wearing women’s work out sweats, the only ones that would fit right on his new proportions. “You might be noticing the wardrobe, Stuart offered to pick me up some clothes. I’m gonna go grab Stuart, hopefully we don’t miss the show.” Walking away from the camera it became visible the word “Sexy” written in glittery gold was stretched across Andrew’s perky little bubble.

“I’m heading out to my work-out, what do you need to show me,” Stuart said as they walked back into the view of the camera.

“This should only take a second. Oh, the tag is still on your tank, let me get that for you!”

Andrew reached up and pulled the tag off Stuart’s top. “What I’ve had this tank for yea-” The second the tag left his tank Stuart’s body deflated like a balloon letting the air out. Every muscle on his body shrunk down until he was supply smooth all over. The only thing part of his body that didn’t shrink was the ghetto booty that jutted out from his now stick thin body.

“What did you put on my tank-top?”

“That’s not your muscle tank, I swapped it out for a ‘Presto Muscle-less Tank’.”

“Dude. I just got new clothes.”

“It’s just a prank.”

************************************************************

“Okay, after our latest pranks both Andrew and I needed new clothes. So I went out on another wardrobe run. That gave me the perfect opportunity for my next prank. He’s getting dressed now, so...let’s go see the results!”

Andrew walked out of his room, wearing a pair of women’s jeggings. “Real funny man, did you throw out all my underwear? This was the only thing I could find.” He rolled down his waistband just enough to show off the top off a metallic pink thong. “I’d rather wear my baggy old boxers then this.”

“Well I had to be sure you’d put them on, things feeling roomier?”

“What does that mean? Oh no, what are these supposed to do?” Andrew fled down the hall to examine himself off screen.

“That was a pack of shrinky-dink thongs! You can probably guess at what those do.” Stuart laughed hysterically as Andrew shouted from off screen.

“That’s way too far!”

“It’s just a prank!”

************************************************************

“Well, for some reason youtube demonetized both of us, so here we are on onlyfans. Get your mind out of the gutter, though! We are still all about the pranks. But this new prank I’ve got is definitely going to be worth the subscription.” Andrew pulled up what looked a normal bottle of baby powder. Before he could explain what it was, Stuart snuck up from behind him.

“What are you doing?” Andrew yelled out. But Stuart wrestled him to the grown. Even without his muscles, he still outweighed Andrew at his diminutive new size. Stuart pinned Andrew to the ground and pulled out the ‘Muscle-less Tank’. Stuart maneuvered so he was sitting against Andrew’s chest shoving the tank over the smaller man’s head. Andrew struggled to no avail. As soon as Stuart pulled both of his hands through the armholes the tank did its thing. Andrew’s muscles faded away almost instantly, but Stuart wasn’t done. He pulled out the bottle of ‘Double Bubble Bath’ and poured it onto the quickly thinning man.

As soon as Stuart stood up, Andrew jumped to his feet and ran to his room. His ever expanding ass swaying as he ran. When he emerged from his room he dived straight for Stuart’s feet, shoving the ‘Any Flats Soles’ into his shoes. Even if though he could just get the tip of the soles in, they worked their magic. Stuart quickly started to shrink down until him and Andrew were on even footing. When they were looking eye to eye, Andrew tried to yank down Stuart’s slacks, but they were caught on his massive posterior. Andrew quickly changed gears and shoved the ‘Shrinky-Dink Thong’ into the pouch of Stuart’s underwear. With how strained his slacks were, the new adjustments to Stuart’s manhood were on full display, even though his clothes were now baggy everywhere else.

Stuart’s body hair started to fall out every below his eyebrows. “When did you?”

“I filled the pouch of the thong!”

Stuart tackled Andrew to the ground as Andrew’s phone started to ring. The phone fell out of his pocket as the two fell to the ground, sliding across the floor the momentum swiped to answer.

“Hey Andrew, it’s Danny! I’m excited for our video today, I’m about five minutes away. Are you there? I can’t hear you. Sorry I must have bad service. Either way, see ya soon dude.”

As they were rolling around on the ground Andrew remembered the most recent prank he was going to pull. He jumped up to grab the powder and the label ‘Gay-by Powder’ became visible to the camera. Before he could get it opened Stuart tackled him to the ground and wrestled the bottle out of his hands. They continued rolling around on the ground, each wrestling the bottle out of the other’s hand before either could get it open.

Danny knocked on the front door but no one answered. He’d known Andrew long enough though to feel comfortable letting himself in. But what he saw inside wasn’t the Anderw he knew. Instead, he saw two slim yet thicc men rolling around on the floor, fighting over something he couldn’t make out. When the two guys flipped positions, and he could see their faces, he was taken aback that it was Andrew and Stuart wrestling on the ground.

“What the hell happened to you two?”

Stuart was startled by the sudden shock of being caught in this compromising position, and Andrew took full advantage, grabbing the bottle. He couldn’t get the bottle to open with his dainty new hands, so he put his whole body into it. The force of it finally opening shot the powder all over the room, coating all three men.

As the powder cleared, the two little twinks writhing on the ground had climbed to their feet. Danny was no longer looking down on the men with shock, but with lust. The twinks first locked eyes with each other before turning their cute faces up to the young jock standing between them. Danny took charge of the situation and ripped the slacks pants off both the other men. He pulled the little twinks into his arm as his pats began to tent.

“I don’t know what this is,” Danny grabbed each of the twinks by their jiggling cheeks, “but I think I’m going to have a handful with the two of you.” He leaned down and planted a kiss on Stuart’s rosy lips, as he slipped a finger into Andrew’s crevice. Pulling his face away, he whispered, “Not that I’m complaining, but what’s going on?”

“It’s just a prank,” Andrew said between moans. “Good thing we’re on only fans.” Andrew sat the empty container on the desk by the camera, and the label came clearly into focus. “Warning: Do not mix Presto Products. Mixing products may permanently extend the effects.”

#height theft #muscle theft #butt growth #straight to gay #twinkification #jock to twink

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sleeplessdreamer14 · 2 years

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incorrect quotes (part 3.)

—

Raine: Cyborg, I've got a bone to pick with you.

Silver: What’s it this time, Doc?

Raine: You done stuffed my wagon full to bustin' with nonessentials. Look at all this. Cinnamon, oregano, ci-lantro. What in the cockadoodle is ci-lantro? ..? [holds up a vegetable] What is this.

Silver: That'd be lettuce.

Raine: Lettuce?? Lettuceee-

Silver: It's a vegetable, Raine. Th' crew need it for th' four basic food groups.

Raine: I got your four basic food groups; Bees, basil, leeches, and c o c a i n e!

—

Andrew: he has elaborate bullshit ideas every 10 seconds.

Cetus: hey Andy, let’s doorbell ding-dong-ditch!

Andrew: you’re 32!

—

Valentino: Hey, what’s wrong?

Sophie: Nothing, nothing wrong, I’m just… I’m fine.

Valentino: Sophia, please. I know that look, all too well. It’s the look of a broken heart.

Sophie: … how did you know?

Valentino: Believe me, my dear, I myself have spent many nights trying to drown my sorrows in guacamole.

—

Sophie: Victoria.

Tori: yes?

Sophie: did you eat my donuts?

Tori: no…

Sophie: then what’s that white stuff on your pants?

Tori: … cocaine..?

—

Ash: [screaming while running from a monster]

Evangeline hiding behind a wall: damn! why’s that loud bitch gotta bring that shit over here?! Okay, well maybe she won’t see me. [peaks out from behind the wall]

Ash: somebody help me! EVA!!

Evangeline: [hides again and sobs] ah, shit, she stole me!

Ash: [trips and falls]

Evangeline: Thank you Lord! okay, now let that shit just- just mutilate her wh1te ass and leave!

Ash: [gets back up and keeps running]

Evangeline, pleadingly: die, bitch, please die.

Ash coming to her hiding spot: OH MY GOD, EVANGELINE! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!

Evangeline: WELL IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN YOU IF YOU HAD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

—

(some of the crew going about their business when they hear footsteps and voices coming towards them)

Sophie: (skids at the door) VICTOR DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A JALAPEÑO WAS AND THOUGHT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH SEX PASS IT ON!

Victor: (tackles her to the ground)

—

Raine on the phone: hello, I’d like to speak with the pharmacist please.

Delbert on the other end: Raine, I’m not-

Raine: I drank some bleach all the way down to the blue and now I’m starting to feel like Harry Potters.

Delbert: No, no no, Raine, you’re not supposed to drink bleach!

Raine: well it tasted like candy to me.

—

Sophie: it’s hard being the mom friend sometimes (especially since I’m the youngest) but I love my friends and that’s what matters-

Lukas: Sophie! Tori and I tried making ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything!

Sophie: (slow, deep inhale) ... thank you Lukas I will be right there.

—

Sophie: my boyfriend’s a little too tall for me to kiss him properly, what should I do?

Tori: punch him in the gut. Then when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Ollie: tackle him?

Jeremiah: dump him.

Lyka: kick him in the shin!

Jim: No! Don’t do any of those things! Just ask me to lean down!

—

Jeremiah: yeah, I don’t really read a lot. not unless I absolutely have to.

Jim: wait, not even comics?

Jeremiah: (shakes his head no)

Jim: you’ve never read Peanuts??

Jeremiah: nope.

Jim: …

[later]

Jim, kneeling and holding a football in place: go ahead! I promise I’ll hold it!

@wallymcflubberfins @emerald-echeveria-plant @aalbliii @princssealexis165 @ohdamnitsaferret @ash-pirate25 @turtledork

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writethelifeyouwant · 3 years

Text

Femme Fatale - Ch 1 / 2

Pairing: Alex x Reader (background J2) Rating: 18+ Tags: Dom/Sub relationships, Sub!Alex, Domme!Reader, Dom!Jensen, Sub!Jared, sex/bdsm club, voyeurism, exhibitionism, pegging, humiliation kink Word Count: 3.3k Created for: @spnkinkbingo - Dom/Sub

A/N: Thank you so much for being my first ever commission Sin! I've had a lot of fun tackling this challenge because I've never written a Domme!reader before but I really appreciate you trusting me with your idea, and I hope I do it justice ❤️

Series Masterlist

This is a weird idea, even for Alex. A night out with his cast mates isn’t unusual, and Y/N has gone along on plenty of group dinners with Alex, Jared and Jensen (that were essentially double dates) before, but they usually ended by closing out the hotel bar or crashing in someone’s guest room. They had never ended up at a proper club before, let alone planned a whole evening around going to a specific one. But that’s the plan tonight.

When Alex informs her that the location was Misha’s suggestion, it makes even less sense to Y/N. Misha seems like he would be the least likely of all of them to actually enjoy clubbing but hey, what does she know?

“Alex, I don’t have anything to wear!” Y/N complains from inside their closet, hoping her boyfriend can hear her through the bathroom door.

“That cannot be true,” she can hear the amusement coupled with a light mix of exasperation in his tone.

“What did they tell you the dress code was?” Y/N calls as she continues to flip through the clothes hanging in front of her.

“Misha said, and I quote, ‘dress slutty’.” Alex appears in the doorway to the closet and leans against the frame, tucking his arms across his chest. Y/N actually does a double take when she sees him.

“I see you took that advice literally,” she eyes him, gaze dragging across his body and catching against each new feature she notices like sandpaper running against the grain. Alex is dressed casually, but most definitely sluttily too. A loose and frayed wife beater hangs off his shoulders, showing off his waist where one side is tucked into his shorts. The elastic of his boxers is sticking out over the shirt too, which is completely on purpose in a move to tease. The denim shorts are tight, torn-up, and just to the knee. Y/N has seen him wear them before, and she knows when he turns around she’ll have an amazing view of his ass.

“I’m good at following instructions,” Alex smiles, clearly pleased with himself that he’d successfully fulfilled his remit.

“So eager to please,” Y/N teases over her shoulder as she goes back to thumbing through outfit potentials. “Honestly, the fact that Misha is telling us to dress slutty and not Jared must mean dress really slutty.”

“You could just not wear anything,” Alex offers as a suggestion. “Nothing sluttier than free access.”

“In your dreams, babe.”

“How did you know?” Alex is mock horrified and you laugh along with him when he breaks character. “Still can’t decide?” and Y/N shakes her head in response. “Can I pick for you? I do have a pretty good memory of all your sluttiest outfits.”

“Hey! Who you callin’ a slut Mr. Slutty McTightShorts?” Y/N rounds on Alex, comically enraged.

“You, duh,” Alex laughs and pecks her on the cheek as he moves over to a drawer where Y/N keeps her underwear.

Alex goes straight for the lingerie, Y/N should have guessed, and he pulls out a matching set of lacy thong and longline bra, both enmeshed in patterns of criss-crossed elastic and ribbons. Then he ducks down to the bottom drawer where Y/N keeps a load of her old college clothes that she’s too sentimental to get rid of, and rummages through it, clearly looking for something specific. He finally liberates a skirt that barely has the right to be called a piece of clothing. Y/N can’t even remember why she owns that. Finally he reaches for a swingy tank made of a light gauzy material. It’s really meant to be a cover-up for the beach because of how loose and flowy it is but Y/N imagines that is Alex’s intention behind picking it – he knows it won’t stay on properly or do a single thing to hide the bra she’ll be wearing beneath it. Alex hands her the pile of clothes, again looking very pleased with himself.

“You’re really not pulling punches tonight, are ya?”

“I just want to show off how awesome my girlfriend is,” Alex shrugs.

“Yeah, you want to show off all of her, apparently,” Y/N holds up the small skirt skeptically.

“You’ll look incredible, scouts’ honour,” Alex swears, grinning.

“If we show up and the others aren’t dressed super slutty, I’m gonna maim things.”

“I won’t stop you,” Alex laughs and pushes Y/N out of the closet. “C’mon get dressed so we can go down some alcohol before the car gets here.”

They’ve both knocked back a beer and a shot when the car pulls up and a message pops into the group chat saying they’re here. The night is close and warm outside of the air conditioning, and for that reason at least Y/N is glad to be wearing such a small amount of clothing. When the young couple slides into the car they’re greeted by Jared, Jensen, Misha, and his wife Vicki – another surprise to Y/N, as she doesn’t come out with them too often. Something about tonight must be special.

“Hey hot stuff!” Jared greets them, grinning as he eyes them both up and down. Jensen pinches him on the leg. “Behave.” Jared doesn’t let it derail his examination.

“Thanks, I know, right?” Alex jokes and ruffles his hair, throwing Jared a wink. Y/N gives him a side eye, silently imitating Jensen’s instruction of behave. Alex grabs for her hand and kisses it in a gesture of reassurance, dropping their joined hands to his lap and keeping them there. Alex is a flirt, just like Jared, but Y/N knows that he would never stray from her. At least, not unless she tells him to.

The car proceeds to drive them across town to an area of L.A. Y/N isn’t familiar with. She and Alex haven’t lived in the city very long, so it’s not like she’s expecting to know every inch of its nightlife scene but this place seems much more out of the way than she was expecting them to be going. The streets they’re trundling down are dark, not bright and shining with neon and glittering lights like so much of downtown tends to be. The occasional person or couple is walking along the sidewalk, but overall it’s deserted by city standards.

“Where are we going again?” Y/N pipes up from her seat, looking out the window and spotting another couple in dark coats holding hands as they amble down the side street.

“We’re almost there,” Vicki smiles reassuringly at Y/N, then turns to Jensen. “Tom texted to let me know he’s set aside a table upstairs for us, so everyone can just watch or they can join in, whatever you want.”

“Who’s Tom?” Y/N asks curiously, she hasn’t heard the name before.

“He’s our boyfriend,” Misha answers matter of factly, like he’s trying not to betray any emotion around the statement until he can judge Y/N and Alex’s reactions to that news. Y/N can’t pretend she isn’t surprised, but the more she thinks about it the more she realises that Misha is always quite private about his and Vicki’s relationship – this must be why.

“Oh, cool dude,” Alex laughs, giving an approving nod, almost like he’s impressed with Misha’s nonconformity. Y/N smiles. Alex always loves finding out about what people have going on ‘outside the box’, it helps him come out of his own shell just a little bit more every time.

“Can’t wait to meet him,” Y/N chimes in, just to quiet the small hint of wariness she can see playing behind Misha’s eyes. He relaxes visibly and smiles, much more his carefree and goofy self in that instant.

“Oh, s’that it?” Jared points out the window to a dim neon sign and a small group of people sitting on benches and little round tables, smoking. The block letters shine against the rough brickwork of the building they’re mounted on, grey and sophisticated, unlike all the garish colours Y/N would usually expect from a nightclub.

Femme Fatale.

Y/N hadn’t known what to expect when they got inside but she never would have expected what she’s witnessing now. Femme Fatale is a swingers club. Not just that, it’s a BDSM swingers club.

How had they known? Y/N wonders. She and Alex don’t usually make a habit of discussing that aspect of their relationship with other people. Especially since Alex is still pretty new to being a Sub. He had toyed with the idea of being a Dom in a previous relationship, and technically he labels himself as a Switch when people ask, but he once he had told Y/N that since he met her she brings out a part of himself he hadn’t really connected with properly before, and he loves it.

His eyes are wide now, blown out with obvious lust as Y/N watches him watch his surroundings. Jared is the same, and Jensen is watching him just as intently as Y/N is watching Alex. With how they act, Y/N always suspected that Jensen and Jared were in a Dom/Sub relationship, and she was quietly smug that she had been right. Misha and Vicki had left the party at their table on the exposed balcony as soon as their boyfriend Tom, who Y/N now understands is the manager of this club, had shown them in and sat them down. Now, Y/N knows what Vicki had meant in the car about them just being able to watch if that’s what they wanted to do, instead of joining in. Misha and Vicki have clearly opted to join in, and Y/N can’t see where they went off to, lost in the heaving crowd of people below them.

So far, she’s enjoying watching, and Alex clearly is too. His slutty shorts are doing nothing to hide the semi he’d popped almost the second they walked in. It isn’t so much her thing, but Y/N knows Alex has an exhibitionist streak, and she can easily imagine what must be running through his mind right now. Being out in the middle of everything, shown off, performing. And Y/N thinks she might like showing him off, showing everyone what a good little boy he can be for his Mistress, showing everyone how much control she has over him. How much he wants to do everything she asks of him, to please her.

“Jared,” Y/N looks away from Alex when Jensen speaks, and Alex looks up from the ground floor where he had been watching some of the people on display. “Do you want to go play?” Jensen asks neutrally, very carefully leaving the choice up to Jared, without betraying his own feelings on the notion.

“Can we?” Jared’s eyes light up instantly and Y/N smirks to herself. Jared and Alex are more alike than she realised.

“Yeah, c’mon baby boy,” Jensen smiles indulgently and holds out his hand to Jared, who takes it and follows him down the stairs to the play areas. Y/N looks back to Alex, whose eyes are glued to his cast mates’ backs.

“What about you, baby boy?” Y/N purrs, using Jared’s nickname teasingly and Alex blushes as she runs her nails up his bare arm. She’d never called him that before but it’s clear he likes it. “Do you want to go play?”

“I–” Alex breaks off, considering. “Can we just watch for a bit? See what everyone’s doing?” he asks nervously.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Y/N smiles and offers Alex her hand. They make their way down the iron grate staircase into the madness that has been churning below them this whole time. It’s easy to spot Jared and Jensen, despite the crowd. They stick out above the heads of a lot of the people nearby because most of them are bent over or crouched down to some extent.

They’re at the edge of the dance floor, in a space that’s still public but is cordoned off for more… intimate play. There’s two St. Andrew’s crosses bolted on the wall, both currently occupied with girls – one wearing an assortment of leather straps with metal studs poking out of them, and one wearing absolutely nothing but the cuffs binding her to the beams. Leather couches and benches are dotted around the floorspace, all covered with partially to wholly naked occupants engaging in every variety of sexual activity Y/N can imagine. Alex looks like a kid in a candy store watching it all unfold before him.

“You can watch whoever you want, but no touching without my permission, okay?” Y/N speaks into Alex’s ear so he can hear her over the bass of the music that’s vibrating through the crowd around them.

“Yes, ma’am,” Alex salutes her cheekily and starts to move away but she grabs the neck of his shirt and hauls him back, looking him sternly in the eye.

“Do you want to try that again with a little respect, baby?” Alex drops his eyes and looks penitent.

“Yes, Mistress.” He gives her a weak smile, asking for forgiveness, and Y/N decides to let him off this time.

“Good boy,” she leans up and kisses his forehead before giving him a swift pat on the backside. “Have fun, I’m going to grab a drink,” Y/N points to one of the bars lining the far side of the play area. “Find me that way if you want me, okay baby?”

“Yes, Mistress,” Alex nods meekly, giving Y/N a small kiss before he ducks into the crowd towards a group of spectators all watching a girl tied to a bench getting teased by her Domme and a flogger. Typical, Y/N smiles to herself and makes her way to the bar to order a glass of wine.

Wine in hand, Y/N spins on her heel and looks around the room. Alex is still where she left him and a few groups over she spots Jensen, his back to her, watching something else she can’t quite make out between everyone’s bodies. Jared doesn’t appear to be anywhere though. Y/N decides to have a look at whatever Jensen’s observing, curious what’s got him so stoically still. There’s a lot going on around him but it becomes instantly clear which performer Jensen’s watching when Y/N approaches and peeks over his shoulder.

Jared is on his hands and knees, in amongst a crowd of people. There’s a sort of black leather platform that he’s perched on, so they’re elevated from the floor. It puts Jared’s mouth at the perfect height to reach people’s waists, which he’s currently putting to good use by swapping between two men with their cocks standing out stiff from their jeans. Jensen is watching closely, smirking at the crowd all raptly watching his boyfriend. When Jared takes the man with the bigger cock so deep that his nose is pressed to the man’s stomach, Y/N can’t help but laugh.

“I see why you like him so much,” Y/N bumps her shoulder against Jensen and he jumps, looking down at her and grinning when his brain catches up to her comment.

“Yeah he’s good with his mouth,” Jensen agrees, smiling proudly.

“Nice of you to loan him out.”

“I like to think I’m generous,” Jensen shrugs. “But not too generous,” Jensen catches the arm of a man trying to round the platform to get to Jared’s ass instead of his mouth. “Sorry man, no guys back there.”

“Oops, sorry dude,” the guy backs off quickly, and Y/N is impressed by how respectful the whole exchange is.

“Is that Jensen only territory?” Y/N questions, wiggling her brow.

“Yeah I don’t like other guys fuckin’ him,” Jensen explains. “But I like girls pegging him, it’s fun to humiliate him like that.” Just then Y/N spots a small woman climbing into a strap on with the help of her partner, who drops to her knees to suck on the dildo a little before covering it in lube from the bottle on the ground by the platform.

“No kidding,” Y/N whistles lowly, in awe as she watches the girl push the black silicone inside Jared, inch by inch. The way his hole is pulsing around the intrusion is almost hypnotic. She tries to picture what Alex would look like, on his hands and knees amongst all these people, everyone watching him get split open by some little girl with a big dick… everyone seeing him loving it, like Jared clearly is.

Y/N hears Jensen laugh beside her and she jumps a little, clearing her throat in embarrassment at being caught out staring at Jared’s asshole so blatantly.

“Sorry,” she clears her throat again and takes a sip of wine to hide behind her glass.

“It’s okay,” Jensen laughs again. “I wouldn’t let him do this if I didn’t want people to watch him.”

“Good point,” Y/N acknowledges, feeling a little better. “And um, out of curiosity,” Y/N pauses, trying to frame her question politely. “How did you get Jared to agree to the pegging?” Jensen raises an eyebrow at Y/N curiously. “You know, one Domme to another,” Y/N elaborates, so Jensen doesn’t think she’s trying to ask if she can peg Jared. That’s the furthest thing from her mind right now.

“No kidding?” Jensen chuckles, clearly impressed. “Well, I don’t know what you and Alex get up to normally, but it wasn’t too much of a stretch for Jared. He gets off on humiliation and I get off on humiliating him, and this fits that bill for both of us.” At that comment, Jensen looks back to Jared and smirks before reaching down to adjust himself subtly, and Y/N laughs. “What about it is calling to you?” Jensen asks, and Y/N has to pause to consider that before she can hit on the answer.

“It’s the one part of Alex I don’t think anyone’s touched. I mean he’s never mentioned it if he has done it before but I don’t think he has. The idea of marking him like that, of having something no one else can have from him…” Y/N trails off, letting her thoughts spiral as she feels the space between her legs heat up. When she adjusts her stance, she feels the slick brush of wet panties against her skin. Yes, she loves that idea. The thought of taking that last first, touching a part of Alex that no one else has touched. Being literally inside of him. Fucking him into submission would take on a whole new meaning.

“Yeah, that’s hot,” Jensen agrees and Y/N smiles dreamily. Now she just needs to figure out how to bring it up to Alex. “Hey,” Jensen taps her on the shoulder and points over Jared to the other side of the crowd, “you might not have to do as much convincing as you think.”

Standing across from them, Jared still on his hands and knees between them being fucked at both ends, is Alex. His eyes are fixed steadily on Jared, the rest of the world a mere blur around him and the object of his focus. His pupils are huge, in part due to the dark of the club but Y/N knows it’s also to do with desire. She watches his eyes dart back and forth and realises that he’s not just watching Jared, he’s watching the dildo that’s steadily fucking in and out of Jared’s ass, following its movements closely. He licks his lips and Y/N smiles. Jensen is right, she’s not going to have to convince him at all. He already wants this.

Part 2 - read ahead on WordPress here

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shannygoatgruff · 3 years

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Only Fan(s) - A Thriller

Genre: Thriller

Pairing: Modern Ivar/OC

Warning: Language, sex, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, sexual assault

Rating: MA+18

Summary: Sometimes OnlyFans subscribers want a little more than internet pictures. Sometimes they want to be your ONLY fan…

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Thanks to @xbellaxcarolinax for being my beta.

Disclaimer: This story will deal with some topics that might be a little uncomfortable for some people. As always, I’ll try to tackle the hard stuff as tactfully as possible.

a/n: I know it’s been a minute. I’m always thinking about these stories because I want to finish them, just can’t seem to focus on writing at the moment. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Part iv - Date with Destiny

Finding Ivar Lothbrok should have been easy. Between the two of them, he was the stable one. He was the one with the iron-clad schedule that consisted of drinking, smoking, and partying. Torren’s schedule was a bit more... fluid. She tended to go wherever the wind, or whatever car she acquired, would take her. Naturally, Ivar had the occasional meet-and-greet, red carpet, and/or Comic-con engagement that he had to attend, still, he was pretty easy to keep tabs on. All one had to do was look at (stalk) his social media accounts, and his whereabouts were posted for everyone to see.

Knowing where he’d be and finding out where he lived were a different story. Torren had done her due diligence when it came to locating the town in which Little Kattegat was located. It only took about two days and a few Google image searches of the background of a few of the photos and she had it narrowed down to a general area in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

From what she could tell, the closest town to where he lived was pretty small, and there were only a few large estates hidden in the woods. How hard could it be to find? She was willing to drive to every single house and knock on the door to find him if she had to. But it would just be easier if there was loud music and a bunch of cars in the driveway. That way she could tag along inside with the rest of the guests to get to her man.

Her shirt landed in the pile of dirty clothes in the center of the bed, as she reached around to unhook her bra. “I really need to tell Baby Boo to stop putting all of his business out in these streets,” her brows furrowed as she shook her head, “What if some crazy, psycho bitch started stalking him, or some shit? Then I’d have to kill a bitch.” Torren’s head whipped around and she narrowed her eyes at his picture, still stuck on her wall, “Is that what you want? Huh? You want me to cut a bitch to prove to you how much I love you? I will, Bae! You know I would do anything for you. I’m your Ride or Die...”

And being his Ride or Die meant that she needed to keep better tabs on him if she was going to protect him from someone crazier than her, God forbid. She was only able to do so much on this prepaid phone, and going to the library to get online was becoming a pain in the ass.

She’d considered stealing a laptop or iPad from the library but was still on the fence about the idea. Of course, the alternative meant going to stupid ass libraries and threatening little kids to get off the fucking computers, and that completely sucked ass.

She always felt rushed when she logged onto her Bae’s Only Fans page from the public library. Without fail one of those little bastard kids would get the library Nazis to kick her off the computer, or bar her from the library altogether for watching porn.

Ivar’s page wasn’t porn! It was art. It was sexy. It was love...his love for her. Stupid bitches.

She had encountered far worse things than getting kicked out of the library, but some of these small towns usually only had one or two within their county limits. If she got banned, how was she supposed to check up on Ivar? In the time it took to log in until she got kicked out, she'd be lucky if she could check 2 of his accounts. What if he had some important information on another platform that she hadn’t checked yet? What was she supposed to do then?

Her relationship with Ivar was hanging in the balance, and she'd be damned if some snot-nosed kid or fucking uptight librarian would fuck that up. She needed a computer. But, on the flip side, when she finally got her man back, she wouldn't need one anymore. She could ask him directly what their plans were.

There was a lot to consider and that took time; time that she didn't have right now.

The thick layer of Nair shaving cream she had applied to her already hairless crotch, was just starting to tingle, signaling she had about 5 minutes left before the sweat-inducing, burning sensation would kick in alerting her to wash the cream off. Until then, she had time to consider an outfit for the night.

She knew Ivar well enough to know that he would want her to be sexy for him, but not so much to distract him from work. She could have gone for something slutty, like those skanky bitches he partied with. She could have gone for more demur, but then she would remind him too much of his bitch ex-wife and completely turn him off. The last thing she wanted on their first night back together was for him to be thinking about that bitch. She could have gone for a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Torren never did simple.

No, Ivar would want her to be herself. That's what he loved about her. That's what attracted him to her in the first place. She would be sexy without being skanky; she would be demure without being a prude.

Fuck! It was already 7:33 p.m. How in the hell did she miss the beginning of his Live? Now she was running late.

She was supposed to be dressed and ready by the time his Live came on that way she could be out the door as soon as he finished. If she was going to make it to be on his Only Fans live stream tonight, she needed to get to his house before he got too distracted. Now, she’d have to watch his Live, while her cooch burst into flames before she had a chance to take a shower and finish picking out her outfit.

If there was one thing Torren was, it was punctual. It was bad enough that she was about 40 minutes outside of his town, but it could take her up to 2 or more hours to find his house. She only hoped that he didn’t plan on starting any real freaky shit on his Only Fans page until around midnight, cause it looked like she wouldn’t be getting there before then, anyway.

With the smile still plastered on her face, Torren turned on the hot water for a shower, forgetting that the water didn’t get hot. She didn't mind, much, especially since the cold water gave her a break from the heat in her room.

Phone in hand, she watched him, as she planted herself on the dirty bathtub floor, cross-legged, and started to get herself ready. Starting with her toes, she shaved each one, just below the knuckle, followed by her fingers, arms, pits, and each leg, from groin to ankle, three times. When the burning from her nether regions was so intense that she couldn’t tell her tears from the shower water dripping on her face, she quickly washed off the cream.

All she could do was hope that she hadn’t broken the skin this time. The last time she had let that damn Nair stay on, just past burning, the skin broke and she bled. She was not having a bloody hoo-ha tonight.

With that taken care of, she gently used the razor to remove any other pubes closer to the inside that needed to be removed. Then shaved her backside. When she had more time, she was going to get the internal hairs bleached, but she needed to find out what Ivar preferred.

Shaving ate up so much of her time that she only had a few seconds to rub some body-wash that she had stolen from a drug store over her body and hoped it got rid of the smell of the summer heat. Her hair? Fuck it...she’d wash it another day, for now, this cold water would have to be enough. She’d spritz some perfume and hair spray in it and it would smell fine.

Torren finished her shower, and walked out of the bathroom dripping wet, only using a towel to wrap around her hair. She was glad it was so hot in her room that her hair would air-dry quickly. She finger-combed her damp tresses to complete that ‘just got out of bed, but it's styled’ appearance. She knew how much he loved when her hair looked like that. It would remind him of freshly fucked hair.

She spent extra time applying her makeup, even using an extra dark, thick application of eyeliner. She usually went for more subtle warm colors. They matched her tan skin tone better. But, tonight, she had bold, dark makeup, complete with varying shades of purple and blue eye shadows, and dark purple lipstick.

Torren was glad that she decided to match Ivar’s clothes this evening. The swim trunks and smoking jacket he wore would compliment her beautifully. She wanted everyone to know that they dressed alike, the way real couples do. If he was going for less is more, so would she.

She settled on black leather chaps that tied up on the sides, and tight blue boy shorts that left the bottom half of her ass cheeks exposed. The blue shorts brought out the blue swirls in his trunks; she knew he'd appreciate that touch. Her top was a blue bandanna that she wore as a halter with a short black leather jacket with tassels on the sleeves.

They screamed “couple” in her eyes.

Completely satisfied with how she looked, Torren locked the door to her motel room and started down the hall. She deliberately stopped by the window and peered through the partially opened blinds of the people staying next door to her. She knocked on the window to get the attention of the young couple inside. Judging from their appearance, they were too strung out to know who she was, or that it was her music that they constantly banged on the wall about. She didn’t care. She still flipped them off before making her way to the stairs.

Reaching her hand through the busted window of the blue Ford Taurus to unlock the door from the inside. Torren slid into the driver's seat and leaned over to find the two cords that she had pulled out from under the steering column when she stole the car. Flicking the cords together, she listened as the engine reluctantly turned over.

She put the car in reverse, looked in the rear-view mirror at her makeup, then pulled out of the spot. As she turned onto the road leading to the highway, she listened to the knocks, bumps, and hisses that her car made. There wasn't time to do much about it now; not when she was on her way to get her man. But, she made a mental note to do something about it later in the week. The only thing she could do was turn the music up louder to drown out the car noise.

Truthfully, she should have stolen a better car than the piece of shit Taurus that she found in the parking lot of the Quickie Mart while driving through Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were plenty of better cars there to choose from but no one would have wanted to take this one. It was so sad looking that she took pity on it. She had been doing the owner of this crap car a favor, by taking it off of their hands.

The car was truly fucked. The oil light stayed on, and it drank gas like her mother drank liquor. The car had protested every inch of the ride across the three states that she traveled through in one day. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before that piece of shit breathed its last breath.

She needed to get gas again, but fuck that car. She had already refueled four times since she stole it. Gas wasn't cheap and she wasn't putting another dime in that gas guzzler. Speaking of money, she made a mental note to steal another credit card. It would only be a matter of time before the owner of the one that was tucked snugly between her left breast and strapless bra, would eventually realize that it had been lifted from the table in the diner, and canceled.

Laptop, butt bleaching, car, credit card, and more eyeliner from Walgreen's…her To-Do list was growing. She really needed to take some time off and take care of the necessities. Not tonight, though. She had other things to do. She couldn't do anything else, right now, but get to her man. Besides, once Lothbrok was by her side, he would help her remember all the things she needed to do.

As she came off of the highway exit smoke started billowing out from the engine. It backed up through the exhaust system, and came through the vents, inside the cabin. It was ironic – the air-conditioning vents in the car didn't work, but they seemed to work well enough to clog the inside of the car up with thick white smoke. She drove a few more miles before the smoke was so thick that she could no longer see. As she pulled the car over to the graveled shoulder of the road, the car knocked and shook, before it finally cut off.

Just her fucking luck.

She reached under the dash to flick the cords against each other again, trying to force the ignition to catch again, but it wouldn't. The engine had nothing left to give her. "Fuck Murphy and fuck his fucking law," she said calmly as she pulled the hood release.

She opened the car door, taking care to place both black, platform boots on the ground before lifting her backside from the seat. Placing her sunglasses on her eyes, she walked with one foot in front of the other to the front of the Taurus and placed her hand on the hood. It was hot, but not so hot that she couldn't feel under the front of the lever.

As she lifted the heavy metal hood and placed the rod in the slot to hold it in place, Torren let the smoke from the engine engulf her. It was quite a head rush breathing in the thick engine smoke through her nose, and exhaling it from her mouth. She patiently waited for the smoke to thin out before she bent, at the waist, over the engine. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew that someone would see her looking over the engine and stop to help her.

Now, if only someone would actually come down this dark stretch of road, she could be back on her way to Ivar.

It didn't take long before a pair of headlights rounded the bend of the road, just off to her right. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she accentuated the leather, chaps against her hips, and lifted her ass higher in the air, to catch the driver's attention. She couldn't help but smirk when she heard the tires of a large vehicle turn onto the graveled pavement in front of where she broke down. She didn't turn to face the car or the driver. She didn't care who they were or what they looked like. She had an appointment to keep and this pit stop was fucking up her timetable.

"You need some help?" A deep voice asked as its owner approached her.

Torren took a moment to peer around the hood, noticing that there were no other cars around. "Broke down," she answered, continuing to bear her weight from one hip to the other. She placed her hands on the metal frame of the car, arched her back, and looked at the man over her shoulder. "You know something about cars?"

"Yeah," he replied, moving around to her side, looking at her, and not the smoky engine.

She gave him half a smile, as she noticed him notice her. "You a mechanic or something?" She asked standing up. She rubbed her hands together to remove some of the visible engine soot while considering the guy in front of her. He was about 6 feet tall with a moderate build. He was dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and Timberland boots. He didn't look like he was more than 25 years old. Judging from the way he was looking at her and from the ring on his left hand, he wasn't too worried about her car, or his wife, for that matter.

"Nah, not a mechanic, but I work on my own car... in my spare time." He smiled when she did. She was gorgeous, in that slutty kind of way. She wouldn't be dressed like that and leaning over the hood of a car if she wasn't looking to have some fun. "Lemme take a look at it."

Did he work on his car? Hopefully, that meant that his ran better than hers did.

Torren moved over to the side and let him take the position under the hood. "I'll be right back," he explained before walking over to the bed of his F150.

Grabbing a flashlight from the trunk, he took a second to admire the view of her, from behind. If he could get her car moving again, she would hopefully follow him to this cheap motel he knew that was just up the highway.

He leaned in close, taking a whiff of her hair, "You overheated…want to check the coolant level."

She had heard him say something else but she had stopped listening; she was too busy watching the street. "You want me to try to start it?" she asked, removing her sunglasses before making her way to the driver's door. She wasn't sure if he answered or not. She had no intention of driving the Taurus again, even if he could get it started. She just needed to get something out of the car.

She slid into the seat and reached down on the floor. She found the hard metal object on the floor of the passenger's side and gripped it tightly. As she walked back around to the front of the car, she heard him talking, presumably about the car, or maybe he was asking her out. Who the fuck knows? She was on a tight schedule and all of his chatting was holding her up. She stood by the side of the hood, looking at the angle he was leaning over the hood. Quickly, she lifted her arm, and with one powerful blow, she struck him in the head with the crowbar that she used to procure her now-defunct car.

Torren stood over his body, looking at him intensely. God, it felt good. The rush of knowing that one minute this dude was towering over her, and the next he was on the ground. She had dropped his ass. She was the one with the power.

"Thanks," she said, digging her hand in his pocket to retrieve his cash, credit card, and the keys to his truck. She wiped the blood on the crowbar on his shirt before walking to her new mode of transportation.

Torren sat in the truck's driver's seat and turned on the engine. She had managed to cross two things off of her To-Do list without even planning to.

Thank God the truck had air conditioning. All this heat and humidity was bound to make her hair frizzy. She cranked the AC up as high as it would go and sat still for a moment enjoying the cool air. After a minute, she adjusted the seat and tilted the rearview mirror to look at herself. She was starting to sweat and her eyeliner was starting to run just a bit at the corners of her eyes. She dabbed at the black liner to even out the lines, and then pushed the mirror back to where she could see. Giving the area another once-over, she made sure that no one else had seen her interaction with that guy on the ground, before pulling out from the gravel and onto the paved street.

"Ugh!" Torren yelled. Chester Bradley, the printed name on the credit card, had shitty taste in music. She pushed the stereo button on the steering wheel to do a scan of the radio. Anything was better than country music. Once she found some trap music on the XM radio, she turned up the volume and pulled back onto the highway.

Part iii/

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