...

"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die

getting to know my mum has just shown me that all the times i felt misunderstood was not because we were fundamentally different and she could not be there for me in the way that i needed but bcs we’re so alike and respond in the same ways and we were both waiting for the other to come forward first and agonizing over it in the meantime. i had already forgiven her anyway like on principle and moved on but its given me so much closure to know she’s always been there for me actually, we just didn’t know how to talk to each other and we’re finally learning and talking freely and i finally mean it when i tell her i miss her too

sometimes I feel like there's a narrative on here that like. people who work and live not with their parents in their 20s are somehow privileged and its really annoying as someone with 0 family and 0 built in support system lol

having the same conversation over and over the years with my parents "you and your sister don't really talk about your life" "it's because you don't want to hear about it. you can barely remember the names of my 10+ years friends who i go on holidays with every year" "that's because we don't want to intrude" "but my friends are the most important part of my life. yet you haven't even met them" "we could have" "you're introverts who didn't like when i invited people after i got out of primary school. and the few times you got home when they were here, you immediately went to your bedroom" "to give you privacy" "you could have stayed and chatted a bit" "i would have hated it if my mother had done that." "i understand where you're coming from. i don't mean stick around for hours, just a bit. i know all my best friends's parents. but no one knows mine. and when i tell you about my friends, i can see it flying over your heads. i'm a chatterbox so i still talk about them but it does hurt when i can sense you don't care. maybe that's why [sister] doesn't talk about her life. or maybe she's just like dad. you have to probe them if you want an answer over three words." etc etc

it's like going around in circles. and yet this week i had my mom on the phone every day. we talk. and yet we don't. and i've long accepted that is what it is.

my sister just told my mom and i that she wants to join the military. i’m devastated i don’t even know what to do i need to talk to her but she’s not answering the phone. i know that she’s doing this because she wants a sense of purpose and hates her body and thinks the military will get her in shape and give her that purpose. i also know that she has endured so much early childhood trauma, emotional and verbal abuse from our father, and sexual trauma from being groomed as a young teen, and she probably is seeking a way to play out her traumas in an externalized way. i know her therapist is not trauma informed, is not and never has been equipped to help her, and probably hasn’t questioned her on her motivations behind this decision considering she told us immediately after coming out of a therapy session yesterday, as if her decision was made and she was being affirmed by her therapist to tell us. i don’t know how any mental health professional could encourage a currently minor child (though not for long, and that terrifies me, than in less than two months we have no control over her decisions, no way of protecting her…) to make such an irrevocable decision knowing all of their past trauma and history of suicidal ideation and self harm. and finally, i don’t know who my sister is if she’s someone who truly feels that the us military aligns with her morals. i hope she hasn’t put much thought behind it, because i can understand ignorance and susceptibility to propaganda, i won’t be able to understand it if she tells me that the military is an organization she wholly supports and aligns her values to.

i guess my mom thinks im not mad at her anymore and like im not really?? but i still dont love her

My mom just came in my room saw me curled into a Heap and said “I’ll help you move out again, maybe you’ll like being in your own?”

it’s my god damn birthday.

*vigorously shaking a stick at my brain* stop! feeling! nostalgic! about! our! abusers!

...

nO therir friendship was EVERYTHING TO ME

Alexandra and Derek they are THE friendship EVER

this might be a really old screenshot but it's so dear to me💔

that being said, it's really outdated and the features are NOT canon to present timeline (staring at that horrific tail)

whenever my sister comes home it’s like “ooh fun, sister” for two days and then I start wanting to hunt her for sport

Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable

🦋

crazy to me to think that my dads birth chart is predominantly fire, my mothers is mostly water, my sister is super earth heavy, and i have a lot of air in mine