it’s my god damn birthday.

writing some BAD POETRY on a monday night baybeeeeeee its mostly not autobiographical

& the seven AM workouts dont stop you wanting to die even though the healthprofessionals said have you considered exercising & you've tried crossfit bad poetry googling what is the normal amount to want to die & the number is somewhere between zero and also zero so google tells you the national suicide prevention hotline is 800-273-8255 so you say shut up google and close the window & google logs the data about you: looked up suicide on Monday night at eight thirty four PM (because you forgot to go incognito) & you close the computer and make dinner and eat and go to sleep & you dream about kitchen knives and long falls & endless office buildings and long conversations where you can't hear any of the words & you wake up and think "aw damn i want to die again" & you get on with your day