#and my ankle is hurting again
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I had a 3 day reprieve in my back pain, foolishly let myself believe it had calmed down and then BAM a second, more painful wave hits while I'm making my bed
#and my ankle is hurting again#what is this#my bodys like oh we're in spring time for your seasonal dose of immobilising pain#hereditary spastic paraplegia#chronic pain#disability#caps
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#oh look it talks#yelling into the ether#my whole body hurts#its probably not that bad like its not agonizing but god my joints ache and everything feels weak#all i wanna do is read or write but my brain wont even settle on anything#im so tired lol i dont want to be this tired#like im completely fatigued and wrung out#i did a normal shift at work and made dinner and my legs feel so heavy its like theyre going to fall off#my ankles and knees have a heartbeat#even sitting upright is a whole task at this point#god i know im whining but hgfhggh#and now im too lightheaded and anxious to concentrate on anything#i dont wanna sleep yet i wanna spend my time well but im just passing out again
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What even is gravity ??
#my ankles hurt looking at this.#get out the protractors y’all!#vm be breaking physics again!!#my dancing bbys
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happy (late) anniversary kill jse!!! 🔪👁️🩺
#jacksepticeye#septicart#antisepticeye#dr henrik von schneeplestein#dr schneeplestein#kill jse#just like art#HELLO its been a while#im sorry i always say that in the tags when i post art and then never change my posting habits lmfao#uni is back on and im in agony#did you know that tissue engineering has maths in it????? i did not. when i picked that elective.#me??? a biology/zoology student?????? doing MATHEMATICS???????? like some common day chemistry/physics/etc student????????? get outta here#to be fair the maths isnt even that advanced (it looks similar to shit i did in highschool) so its fine#but damn trying to restart the ''maths brain'' engine of it lying dormant and rusty for over 7 years is gonna SUCK#maths aside: ive been good and busy and my ankles are hurting again but thats fine (said thru gritted teeth)#just have to play catch up a little (read: alot) over the weekend with stretches + exercises + hw but its fine lmfao ill be able to deal#i just like complaining sometimes! its fun!#anyway ily thanks for reading see you in another couple of months lmfao you know the deal!
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In theory, I could fall in love with anyone. In practice though, well, let's just say...
#today i went shopping and saw a man in the market. i though damn i really don't like humans#but then i thought about allthe people I've met for a split of second and fell in love with and then i spent the rest of the day confused#my ankles hurt. why does my body has aches and my mind have issues#anyways. I'm just rambling once again. because I'm sad and there's no one to other with this
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There is nothing so humiliating as falling in public
#try and guess who sprained her ankle AGAIN#Some tourists had to help me back up#and my ankle fucking hurts it was already fucked up from previous sprains#it's not the first time I fall in public I always do#and it's always so fucking humiliating I am crying my eyes out now that I'm home
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corks how tf do u walk so much. my dorm is at the top of the hill and most of my classes are like halfway down it and making that walk both up and down is killer. my ankles hurt. my hips hurt. it makes my chest hurt. help
For me it's a case of getting used to (i walked some 10min uphill today to get to my hairdresser's and it killed me bc. I took public transport all the time here and fell out of the habit of walking), but don't you have chronic pain or smth of the sort? I vaguely remember you mentioning smth like that :[ honestly my suggestion sucks, but i'd say: leave earlier than you "have to" so you can take breaks to avoid overexerting yourself.
My commute's most annoying part is the 15min walk from my stop to my college. And it took 20ish min at first bc i had to take it slow until i got used to it.
#like if you're abled/don't suffer from chronic pain#it's pretty much a case of getting used to it#bc walking is also a workout believe it or not#idk how to translate kondicija - but it's like stamina specifically for physical workouts#walking builds kondicija so you can walk more. if you don't walk your leg muscles weaken with time and you have to build kondicija up again#your chest might hurt if you're overexerting yourself. walk slower - nothing embarrassing ab being slow#you can take in your surroundings better that way too :]#for hips idk but for ankles - find a good pair of shoes#for me converse SUCK for walking or running. they're too flat and kill my ankles. i usually walk in heels/wedges bc i need that#support ironically lmao (plus heels fix my posture)#anyway. yeah if it's chronic pain you're sol sadly but if not just try to build up your stamina#either way. take it easy take it slow keep a water bottle in your bag and don't be embarrassed to take a break if you need one#asks
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wore skater shoes to work yesterday even tho it was raining and slipped and fell twice 😭 once down the stairs of my apartment (hurt my butt and lower back) and then when my uber was picking me up at the end of the day (twisted my ankle in the mud). im this close 👌to throwing them out lol
#they are very cute. but not made to grip anything but Grip Tape lmao#i will be more careful picking shoes for rainy days going forward ig#my ankle felt better after i got in the uber but it started hurting again around bedtime#and hurt all night and still hurts now 😔#watch your feet#i dont think its broken or anything. i can walk on it (albeit stiffly)#im just glad i dont work today or tomorrow lol i hope its fine by tues
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yk every time i see a post about somebody wishing bad things on another person i think ‘dirt-strider to kiryu’ you’ve broken me brain
You see a post thats like i want to stick him in time prison so that he gets so bored he starts breaking his own bones to get even a hint of stimulation and its tagged me at kiryu and you scroll down and its a post thats like i want to feed him chips from my cupped hands like a wild stallion and its also tagged me at kiryu also hiiiiiiiii
#Thanks for the ask !#i wont lie to you i want to do yo kiryu what they did to the family in reddot story the pancake family#his life is a bit too easy i want to give him more obstacles thats why im kidnapping him and breaking my little prince’s ankles and#releasing him in a forest in another country altogether and he has to survive with his injuries until they heal and they will heal wrong and#it will forever hurt to walk now and also when he sees another human being now he will always flinch and he has nightmares every night about#being feverish and starving to death and years into his recovery i meet him again and invite him to watch a movie with me but when i put the#tape in its actually just a highlight reel of his time in the wilderness and he gets scared but he cant move and its because i gave him some#tea earlier and oh this ? its laced with drugs. and he sits blearily beside me and im holding his head up so he watches the screen and he#recalls every terrible thing thats happened to him i put the tv on full volume so he can relive the leaves and twigs cracking under his#hands and knees as hes dragging himself across the forest floor and and his clipped shouts of pain whenever his broken bones catch on a root#and his enraged screaming as he grapples foxes and coyotes that are trying to scavenge the food he painstakingly gathered and he can listen#to the way his voice devolves into something unrecognisable and hes wondering how i got this footage but then he realises this scene is#familiar hes on his last legs and he hears footsteps approach not those of an animal but of a person. he looks at the screen and he sees his#own face staring into the camera wild eyed and filthy and that on the other side of the camera is the hitchhiker who ‘found’ him and he#realises it was me who did this. i could have rescued him at any time the gratefulness he feels to that kind samaritan curdles in his chest#it comes with the withering realisation it was all a game and the one who put him through it all was right beside him and i laugh and put my#hand around his shoulder and ask if he liked the movie and he fights his paralysis and he grips me by the neck and throws me to the ground#and he says you .. you ... and i frown apologetically and say That bad huh ? well we can put on another. and he cant even say words anymore#hes so angry that he grips my neck and he strangles me and the whole time my face gets purple im laughing and laughing and laughing at him#anyway thats one of my greatest fantasies its a fantasy because i couldnt do that to the poor guy im not that mean but i do want him to kill#me and for me to deserve it. very important that i started this fight and that he ends it thats what i want to have ... and also to like#cuddle and stuff ... because i like him ...
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Hoo boy, miserable in the club 2night lads
#i cant draw#ive been trying all day and its just shit#then i open instagram and see 2 reel ideas ive been wanting 2 do but cant#bc 1 i cant draw so i cant do the draw urself as a clown and 2 i dont have enough finished pieces in enough colors to do the “my art is X”#like#fuck#fuuuuuck#i hate everything#why dont my hands want to do things#why cant i understand perspective#ive watched enough fucking tutorials by now#why cant i pose bodies interestingly why cant i draw how it looks when a torso is bent why do i draw the same shit over and over again#why cant i stay consistent why do i not have any construction lines besides the fucking head circle#why dont i plan things out more why why why why why AUGHHHHHHHHH#miserable night#im so pissed off at myself rn#i know how to do things so why am i not doing them like im supposed to#i had rhe whole day off and i spent most of it on my phone when i could have been drawing. now i need to get up in 6 hours#bc i decided that midnight was a good time to draw#and my fucking ankles still hurt like theyre sprained or broken or whatever#im so pissed#mini rant#mini vent#elliot rambles
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the curse of having a vision that is so far above ur skill level you just kinda think about it
#its a scene from my fics. again. kinda like that first zenos piece that shit was delightful#or the myron piece#both of them almost 90% the same bc one of them is looking back with the dawn behind them and the other is staring at water at dusk#i could absolutely pull up some wild prose about both of them like im actively restraining myself from describing them in a writer way#anyway occasional wheelchair user wol being carried is too much for me i KNOW but man........#maybe ill try tomorrow. who knows. maybe itll surprise me#my wol has chronic pain bro i like projecting#like i have a LOT of problems with my ankle that tends to hurt. sometimes so much i cant walk#so i just. projected that onto him#so now every time he overexerts himself he wakes up the next day unable to walk <333#he probably spent like a week in his wheelchair after the end of ew tbh when he gets into it he really gets into it#i also use it to explain why hes no longer a dragoon in canon. funny story. like he was a drg at the start but i switched to rpr/whm#so my reasoning is that the dragoon jumps made everything worse!! and he quit!!! yeah babey!!!#reapers move around a lot too but they dont jump 24/7. and also the possession thing#:)#aw fuck im rambling about an oc again 😭
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managed to fuck up my knee again and apparently i forgot to bring my knee support with me 😭 so will be going out early tomorrow to get a new one bc it's super painful :( how does this keep happening to me
#i don't even know how i did it?#at first i thought it was just hurting again bc of the cold and bc i've been walking more#but i looked at it when i got home and it's properly swollen :(#i brought my ankle support but i guess i forgot my knee one#put some tiger balm on it and took some ibuprofen to deal with it for now :(#🧃
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i ran 10 miles
#but at what cost. the cost is my left ankle it hurts soooo much -_-#half marathon next weekend tho! so 10 miles again thurs and im gonna try to kick it up to 12 saturday and go hiking sunday...#just gotta get thru this week of data analysis and respirometry! sigh. not looking forward to meet w my mentor tomorrow#shes gonna just rip me to shreds i know it...#canis speaks
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We've come back to seriously thinking about cutting off my leg obligatory /j
#about a year ago i fucked up my knee and when it's cold it hurts again#BUT ITS BEEN HURTING FOR NO REASON THIS PAST FEW DAYS I HATE THIS#and my ankle is hurting today too#the ankle im not sure why it hurts... but my ankles and my wrists crack every time i spin them#so i believe i came out wrong
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as i imagined my little sister and her friends were cunty to me in chicago but karma doesnt ignore me because my sister ate shit while they were all out shopping and now she has to wear a boot for her wedding 🫶
#shelby if youre reading this. it happened again my superpower is making people hurt their ankles w mg brain#i just shouldnt have gone w them period but i felt like id be guilted abg not going by the rest of my family#even tho im the only sister who spent 24+ with them.
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