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torchickentacos · 2 months

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3, 6, & 21 for Drew, our beloved

THANK YOU ANON! Love the usage of 'our' here. We all have joint custody of this weirdo.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

OOOOOOH. Okay. This is going to sound like an early April Fool's joke coming from me specifically, but STAY WITH ME. My least favorite thing is that he literally only ever talks to May. Which, okay, kind of my favorite thing too, but he just has such INTERESTING interactions with others when pokeani lets him, but they just never really do. On one hand, I seriously love the tunnel-vision. He literally will ignore a room full of people if she's in it. Like. Canonically. It's all he ever does. But when he DOES interact with others, it's FUN! We get so much about him from those interactions but they just happen so rarely.

Anyways, incomplete list of characters that Drew should TOTALLY have gotten to interact with: Gary. Tracey. Misty. Brock (Brock has HILARIOUS one-sided beef with Drew by the way lmao, calls him nails on a chalkboard). Paul. I know Paul came after Drew but IMAGINE. What would that even look like?????

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Honestly, not much. At all. I'm extroverted, heart-on-my-sleeve, nonconfrontational, spontaneous, unorganized, forgetful- things he is absolutely not. But I am a hopeless romantic who will get stuck pining for years on end, so that's something lol??? But honestly, veeeery little lol.

Rest under cut bc this is getting long.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

this is also under cut because I'm incredibly touchy/quiet about my fic stuff here, but anyone who actually wants to read this and clicks the read more is someone who I'm fine with reading this answer lol. Mostly just don't want non-mutuals skimming my fic thoughts. I wish there were tumblr circles like twitter had- it would stir some bullshit, yeah, but there's... kind of a lot of you guys here and only a select few are pokeani, lol, and it's intimidating. I wish I could post for a smaller audience but alas. If you're bothering to read this then you're probably fine. I've had bad experiences with judgmental people, so fic stuff is something I only talk about to a really tiny group, but I think I can answer this. Feeling brave.

Okay. Something I like to do is lean into his overthinking. So, technically we have no idea if he overthinks or not in canon, but it seems to be a pretty unanimous fandom decision that he's someone who gets stuck in his own head a bit. He thinks too much for his own good, and I try to play into that. Not that most of it ever leaves google docs, but lol. So it goes. I think, in stark contrast to specific other characters lol, he's someone who has the next ten steps planned if he can help it, and that's fun to mess with.

Something I dislike doing... hmm. I usually leave his backstory pretty up to interpretation. I'll add details where I see fit, but overall I just leave it blank. It's not that I don't have headcanons! But I really can't settle on just one, so I never write much of any at all. I love reading other people's ideas so much! I just can't commit to my own and I leave it as-is, pretty barebones. I also don't really lean into his arrogance as hard as other writers. Not that I dislike it! I just think, for me, I tend to enjoy writing other aspects of his personality more. Him being kind of a jackass is an undeniable part of him kjdfhskdjfhbdkj but there's different ways to go about it and I leave the brunt of it to people who can write it better than I can.

#thank god tumblr's actually letting me post this one lmao. sorry other taylor. will get to yours soon ksfjhskdfhjg #alternately. sorry that tumblr's letting me post this one lmao #/j i was mostly normal and hinged here. for better or worse.#taylor's tag #taylor talks

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alcorian · 3 years

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Analyze Canada!!

CANADA!! Hell yes!

So first of all, I think Canada is one of those characters that isn’t quite represented well? Yes, there’s a (rather new) stereotype going around that Canadians are ridiculously polite, but that doesn’t always mean “nice.” In fact, Canadians can be pretty damn mean. They’re also incredibly competitive and can be rather patriotic (though not as much as us Americans). I think the fandom does a pretty good job of remedying this; fanon Canada is more passive-aggressive towards America, which is a better stereotype for them imo. There’s also the canon strip where they get into a fight, and America runs out of steam after a few minutes, but Canada just keeps screaming for three hours, which sounds a lot like the relationship between our countries, lol.

Uh, overall, Canada doesn’t have a whole lot of development, which is quite unfortunate (and this is where I think I ought to place a disclaimer that I haven’t read all of the comic strips and thus am probably missing a good chunk of characterization, haha). A lot of his character seems to be inferred from actual politics and stereotypes about Canadians...

One thing I love is the fact that his house is full of maple themed merch. Like I said, patriotic. I think its one of the more accurate parts of his character.

Eh, what else? His relationship with America is very sibling-like. I love the fact that they fight all the time, while America secretly admires Canada. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard people here in the US fantasize about moving to Canada because they’re “so much better” than us? I think America secretly being jealous of him is a wonderful touch. It also adds some good depth to their relationship. There’s also Canada being jealous of America’s time in the spotlight, which I think is less of an irl country thing and more of a Canada-as-a-person thing.

Speaking of which, his invisibility! I noticed that while he IS very quiet and reserved around other countries, and seems too nervous to speak, he doesn’t have that problem around America, who he grew up with. In fact, I have half the mind to say he acts selectively mute sometimes. The fact that he can’t speak up in a room full of people no matter how much he wants to? The fact that he sometimes struggles to respond vocally even if he’s directly addressed? The fact that these effects are pretty much null and void when he’s hanging out with someone he knows well? Even the way his voice often sounds quiet and strained, like he can’t speak above a whisper, is something I experience with my mutism (and find hard to explain, forgive me).

Oh, you thought this would be an actual analysis? Sorry bro I meant “infodump”

Now that I’ve got that rambling out of my system, on to the actual analysis:

I wanted to talk about Canada’s dynamics with the rest of FACE family.

When he became a colony, France only wanted Canada for the resources of his land. Canada knew that, and hoped they could be family anyways. However, France didn’t visit much, and Canada was quite alone. Eventually, England decided that he wanted custody over the “easy” kid, and took Canada from France, war and whatnot. I’m not a history major, don’t ask me. In this strip, Canada was happy to be passed from France to England because he felt like England actually cared for him, as a person, rather than his resources. And maybe that was true... but it fell flat because England ended up never visiting and Canada was alone again. (Sounds quite familiar to how he treated America, doesn’t it? I could go ON and ON about England’s tendency to self-isolate as a bad coping mechanism...) So in conclusion, Canada grew up very lonely, with not much caretaking from his caretakers. This might be part of why he’s so quiet and nonconfrontational these days. It’s a common reaction to neglect, to feel like you “take up too much space”, and to try to be as small & unobtrusive as possible, hoping that it will make your caretaker love you. If this is the case, my boy needs some t h e r a p y.

And it's also quite sad, because in the end, it had the opposite effect. He wanted to be loved; instead he is ignored thanks to the very coping mechanisms he developed in pursuit of affection. That’s pretty harsh.

....He needs a hug, okay? He needs lots of hugs.

This could also tie into his behavior when Seychelles paid attention to him! He immediately started seeking that attention again! And when it didn’t work, he got dejected and started thinking about how America has so much more presence and public image than him.

This whole “only useful for his lands” thing could also give him some kind of complex where he needs to feel useful to other people so he can gain affection!! Look France, ya fucked up a perfectly good country is what you did.

Another thing I find quite interesting is Canada’s relationship with America during the Revolutionary War.

As you know, Canada was on England’s side, and America was (duh) on his own side. I have put WAY TOO MUCH thought into the reasons they had for this...

See, America has always been a free spirit. He’s carefree and he doesn’t like being restricted or following rules. Part of this comes from his incredible strength; he’s not naturally afraid of some things in his environment that a normal kid absolutely would be, and thus sees himself as needing less protection. He doesn’t see why he ought to follow England’s rules when England has never provided him with much protection; he’s always protected himself.

Canada, on the other hand, did not have the emotional stability to leave England. He needed the protection of first France, and then England; he was not as insanely strong and America and needed protection. Not just physically, but emotionally too. America has always been able to bounce back from poor relationships and falling-outs, stand his ground, and build himself back up. Canada, on the other hand, relies on the attention and validation of others to keep himself feeling safe and stable. This is, in my opinion, why he was England’s colony for so long after America’s revolution. He simply wasn’t ready to let go.

This also means that he would have had a LOT of complicated thoughts during the Revolution. He would have wondered if he could do that some day? And he would have hated himself for thinking that. Perhaps he would have hoped to stand on his own, independent, in the future. Then he would have hit himself for taking England’s protection for granted like that! And so on and so forth. He would also most likely still care for America a lot, as a brother; he’s not fighting in England’s side because he thinks America is WRONG to want independence, he’s fighting on England’s side because he just can’t give up being England’s family.

I don’t have a nice clean way to wrap this up. Uhhh. Stan APH Canada!! peace

#NONE of this is edited i am SO SORRY #ask game #aph canada #hetalia #analysis #meta #alv posts

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shmowlwrites · 5 years

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Yellow Carnations Chapter 5

Ao3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6

Classes reached winter break and Marinette was thriving.

Her new friends were always there, always including her, an assurance she adored. It helped that since it was a boarding school, she didn’t have to worry about little favors she couldn’t say no to. Like, babysitting. The good news was that each of her friends were only children, with Allen having two cousins that were like brothers to him. Thank God. Chat Noir was… a hard person to talk to. It had taken a long night of not doing a patrol to convince him that her blog was alright. He agreed, eventually, but he refused to get his baton tracked. She respected that. After that, though, he was stiff. The only good thing, it seemed, to have come out of their relationship now was that Chat Noir was no longer flirting with her. That meant Akumas were defeated faster and Chat was away from her faster. It hurt, but Ladybug could only hope that that Chat would get over it.

Winter break was finally here, and Marinette promised to ask her parents if her new friends could come over. However, her first order of business was Master Fu.

Walking down the familiar road, Tikki was perched on her shoulder, hiding behind a curtain of Marinette’s hair. She found the massage parlor and let herself in. There seemed to be quiet talking inside the massage room, so Marinette hung back, not wanting to disrupt Master Fu if he had a client. She saw Wayzz poking his head through the wall after a few minutes. His eyes widened before he flew over to her. “What’re you doing here?” He asked calmly, curious. “I was just hoping to talk to Master Fu,” Marinette softly answered. “Was he talking to you or a client?” Wayzz hummed before answering. “A client. I’ll find a way to tell him you’re here, he needs to wrap up this session anyway.” Wayzz flew back through the wall. A few minutes later, while Marinette was going through a pamphlet, she heard an eerily familiar voice. “Marinette?” God, his voice saying her name used to make her melt, but now she was frozen like a deer in headlights. She looked at him through her hair. Adrien stood there, shock on his features. Features she used to gush over. “Hello,” she softly greeted him. Folding the pamphlet to give her something to do in the awkward silence, Marinette reeled in her emotions in a Felix-like manner. “What- what are you doing here?” He asked, a more accusatory way than Wayzz. Marinette tucked the pamphlet back into its slot and stood up. She quirked an eyebrow, an emotionless expression mirroring the master of poker faces, Felix, upon her face. “Obviously to get a massage, what else would I be doing a massage parlor? Have tea?” The words seemed to cut into Adrien as he gaped at her. Marinette wanted to not feel the satisfaction at the sight. Here was the boy that hurt her beyond repair, gaping at the result of her growing up. She didn’t wait for a reply, only pacing past him and walking inside the room and sliding the door shut. “My, what tense energy,” Fu mused. Marinette sighed and plopped on a chair. “After an entire semester of having better friends and being distant from them, you’d think I would’ve gotten over them. Seeing Adrien was like peeling the bandaid off because I thought the wound was healed but in reality, it wasn’t,” Marinette groaned and laid her head on the table. Fu hummed before speaking carefully. “Have you tried releasing your emotions? Talking to them? Maybe not even physically, just say how you feel and let those emotions go? Or have you been bottling them up?” Marinette blinked, raising her head just enough to look at Master Fu. She… hadn’t thought about that. Now that she reflected on it, Marinette realized exactly how still emotionally attached to her old friends she was. How upset she was with herself for cutting off a tie to Alya. She had wanted to come in to talk more about the Miraculouses, but this may be the better thing to do today. “I’ll go make some tea,” Master Fu told her before getting up and leaving her alone with Wayzz and Tikki. Marinette pulled herself up, sitting back in her chair and looking at the empty one opposite of her. She tried to imagine her classmates in that chair. Her mind conjured up Rose, and the little blonde was awkwardly sitting across from her. Leaning onto her elbows, Marinette began to think of everything she held against Rose. There wasn’t a lot, but there were a few things. As she began to talk, Wayzz and Tikki left with each other, giving the girl some peace to sort herself out. After Rose was Juleka. After Juleka was Nathaniel. After Nathaniel was Mylene. After Mylene was Ivan. After Ivan was Alix. After Alix was Kim. After Kim was Max. Then Sabrina. Chloe. Marinette could’ve gone off forever about Chloe, but found herself only talking a little bit. It confused her how okay she was with Chloe until she found herself realizing why. Chloe was bad, but Chloe had been getting better. She didn’t know if Chloe was still the same or had fully grown up. She did know, from her parents, that the girl came into the bakery every day and left tips when she left. Chloe wouldn’t step foot into the bakery unless she had to follow her father inside, so that was an interesting development Marinette was happy to hear about. After Chloe came Nino. Nino got a wild talking to, as Marinette cried through telling him about how he and Alya always left her behind, how Nino, her childhood friend, never seemed to have had time for her, how he seemed more into being Alya’s boyfriend than a friend. It came down to Nino having flimsy attachments to his friends. After Marinette wiped her tears away and Nino had faded, Marinette inhaled sharply. She was preparing herself for the next one when Master Fu came in. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you. I think that you’ll enjoy having tea right about now,” He apologized, offering the cup between his fingers like a peace offering. Marinette giggled and met him at the door, taking the cup. She relished how warm it was. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Master Fu,” Marinette sighed. “You’ve done a lot for us and… I don’t think I’d of become the person I am today if I hadn’t run into you.” Fu was surprised to hear the confession, but he smiled anyway. “Your welcome Marinette. But I thank you as well, for your confidence and your kindness. You’re a good person, Marinette. Having those earrings and Tikki are just a bonus.”

After her break from fake talking to her old classmates, Marinette was back at her seat, her cup refilled with hot tea. Adrien was surprisingly the first person to show up. Marinette stared at the chair for a minute, collecting her thoughts. With a deep inhale, Marinette began. “Adrien, I honestly had the biggest crush on you for the longest time. Now that I look back on it, it was pretty problematic. I don’t even know if it was truly a crush, but rather a fit of deep infatuation. I guess I didn’t know how to crush, you were, after all, my first.” Marinette fiddled with her fingers and the mug handle. “I feel… I feel like that affected what I’d do for you. I felt you needed to be happy, no matter what. I was always apologizing to you, I was sacrificing myself for you… I wonder if you are proud of me.” Marinette let out a dry laugh. “After all… I took the high road. Lila never got akumatized and everyone is still wrapped around her stupid little finger. What did it cost? My dignity. Crying during lunch breaks. Getting text after text from your classmates about how I need to apologize to Lila, how I’m not deserving of Lila, of how much of a monster I am. The high road is great.” Marinette croaked, pausing to shakily take a drink. “I understand why you think nonconfrontation is best. But, not all problems can be solved by letting them be. Lila is a prime example. Chloe is a prime example. She’s only been getting better because Ladybug had been holding the Bee Miraculous over her head if she didn’t shape up.” Marinette sighed, turning her eyes to her cup. “I’m sorry. I guess the two of us against Lila has turned into no one against Lila, huh? I mean,” she gave a bitter laugh, “you never were going to stand beside me. It was just words to keep me quiet. And staying quiet… Staying quiet meant that I couldn’t feel. Staying quiet meant that everything stayed locked up. Staying quiet meant that I was almost akumatized four times. Adrien, you will never hear this, but I hate you for this.” Marinette felt her nose begin to tingle and watched as her eyes watered, but she knew. She knew that deep down, under the whispers of love for the boy, she harbored resentment. “I hate you. God, I hate you!” She cried out to no one. “I can’t believe I loved you!” She sobbed, glaring at the empty chair, the apparition of Adrien gone by now, Marinette was just crying to herself now. Marinette let herself cry over her feelings. She had one more classmate… one more ex-friend. Alya. The redhead didn’t even wait for Marinette to be ready, her mind conjuring up the girl before Marinette could look up. Why was it so easy to think of Alya? She’s been your friend for almost three years, whispered her mind. All the more reason to feel hurt. “Alya.” Marinette breathed. Her mind went blank as she thought of everything that had happened since Chameleon. Ten days of Lila as an Akuma, ten days of Lila ruining Marinette’s relationships with everyone, ten days that Marinette couldn’t get back, ten days that no one ignored. “Alya, you were my best friend.” Marinette numbly began, not knowing where to begin. “Nothing could separate us. At least, I thought so. Lila came along and you completely forget about being a journalist of truth and immediately began yellow journalism. You took the words of one person, and never checked to see if they were right. You took the words of someone so religiously, that you couldn’t see the obvious holes. You chalked me pointing out things wrong with Lila as me being jealous. I wasn’t jealous. I liked Adrien, but I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone actually falling within her claws like that. “And Alya, in dismissing me as jealous, you forgot that I myself had done incredible things as well, and didn’t like being put on the spot for them. You… you actually dismissed me in general. Lila came and suddenly there was this new person who told everyone that she had done and seen incredible things. I was shoved to the back burner, like a project that would be touched upon when needed, but it would not be given the attention it deserved. And then, Lila claimed she had tinnitus, despite it never being in her records, despite Jagged Stone never owning a cat, despite the fact that Jagged Stone had had Fang as his only pet as long as Lila was alive. Suddenly, the class was rearranged and I was shoved to the back, my input ignored. My feelings; assumed. That hurt, Alya. Once Chameleon was defeated, I stayed back there. The class went back to how it was, but Nino was in my seat, Lila in his. I was forgotten in the back. “I was only remembered when Lila had something bad to say about me. I was remembered when you decided that anything I had “said” in the period Chameleon was an Akuma, anything someone said I had supposedly said, you decided that it was all true. You remembered my phone number. You made everyone remember my phone number. You all quietly bullied me, avoiding trouble while my phone got spammed with words horrible enough to make me wonder if I should give up. Disappear. “You all got your wish. I disappeared. Never to be seen at Francis Dupont again. Alya, if you wonder why I would up and go without saying goodbye, if you wonder why I would abandon her friends, if you still somehow, miraculously think I was your friend… all you have to do is look back on your behavior. “You didn’t have time for me, and this was before Lila came back. You decided that I was a good babysitter, always asking me to look after your younger sisters while you and Nino went on dates. You even got Nino to make me look after his brother. You knew I couldn’t say no. You took advantage of me. And when Lila came back? Even less time. Class-time was devoted to listening to Lila. After school time was devoted to Lila or dates. You only texted me, before Chameleon, to tell me when to babysit the siblings or to check the Ladyblog. I was suddenly only a follower and a babysitter in your eyes. “After Chameleon, Lila was your babysitter, so I thought you’d have time for me. But no. I was starting to get hateful texts, I was being glared at, I was being shoved away, tucked in the back like a bad memory. “Alya, I can’t wait for the day you see Lila for what she really is. I don’t expect you to come crawling back, but if you do, I won’t forgive you. These were the choices you made on your own. You had your chance when I was telling you it was wrong. I was dismissed. I was told to take the high road. And look at me now!” Marinette gave a bitter laugh. “I’m happy. Without you. My new friends don’t take advantage of me. My new friends don’t tell me to babysit for them. My new friends don’t chalk my feelings up to jealousy. Alya, I wondered how I felt about you, wondered what would I do for my ex-best friend. And suddenly, speaking what came to mind has made me come to the same conclusion as doing this with Adrien did. I thought of you as a friend. But I can’t help but hate you now. And It’s a weight off my chest to say so.” Marinette ended in a whisper.

It felt wrong to the girl to say she hated somebody. It felt wrong to feel this kind of malice towards somebody. But it felt right to admit it. Marinette sighed, flopping against the back of her chair. Alya looked disappointed, like Marinette’s mind was going to make her argue back, but Alya disappeared before her mouth could open.

Marinette looked around the room before startling as she saw Wayzz, Tikki, Trixx, and Pollen watching her. Trixx was peeking out from Marinette’s discarded bag, with something in front of them that was being hidden by Tikki and Pollen floating in front of it. “Alya… really did that?” Trixx asked, voice shaking at the thought of their wielder acting so. “I’m sorry… but yes.” Marinette looked away with a defeated sigh. “... I’m sorry one of my kits have been so misguided,” Trixx murmured.

The atmosphere of the room was heavy, as a black paw pressed a button for the second time.

#felinette #felix vita #Marinette dupain-cheng #some healing for my soul #yellow carnations

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

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1/8 Hello. I'm the INFP from previous day and I would love to have your input for my Enneagram typing. I'm a woman in my late twenties. I personally relate to types 1, 4, 5, 6, 9 and since I grew up with a competitive father I also relate to type 3 on some level. However I don't relate at all to types 2, 7 and 8. I wish I was but I don’t.

2/8 My personality has very contradicting traits. I'm terrible at finishing things myself or being consistent but when I promise someone about doing something or when I have to be consistent for someone else, I’m very reliable. I pay great attention to rules most of the time. I always put carts back while grocery shopping, I meticulously follow rules while driving, I pay attention to typos, grammatical errors and spelling mistakes etc. I resent when people get away with not following the rules.

3/8 I have a very introverted personalty but I always make myself available when my friends need me. When I consider someone as a friend, it feels like a big commitment to me energy-wise, so I choose very carefully when I accept someone to my inner circle. I have 6-7 close friends who are like family to me, some from middle school, some from high school and some from the places I’ve worked so far.

4/8 I feel anxious and scared all the time. Bad experiences have huge effect on me. A bad flight resulted in a flight fear and anxiety, a bad thunder storm caused me to get worried every time ı see a rainy day prediction in weather forecast. However I still fly thinking that I wouldn’t let a fear take away all the pleasure of traveling and experiencing new cultures.

5/8 I read a lot and I’m also very interested in video games. I find the real world very unpredictable and harsh; so I think these are the ways which make me feel more in control. I prefer to watch finished TV series and I read spoilers when I get worried about my favorite characters to know what will happen to them.

6/8 My relationship with my family is very hard for me but I never let them feel it. They know me as the perfect daughter and they love me in their own way. I always obey them or when I don’t obey them I’m very good at hiding so they never know. For example, I didn’t tell them I drive everyday because they would worry, I hid my relationship for almost 5 years. They are very dramatic and they get angry easily, so I don’t like it.

7/8 I’m terrible at confronting someone. I always try to understand others and this stops me from getting in fights but also this stops me from getting what I want as well. For example if I get a different order than I requested in a coffee shop I generally don’t tell anything unless it’s something more expensive than the one I ordered.

8/8 I have a very turbulent personality but only my husband knows about it because I never let my feelings show to other people around me, not even my friends or my family. Simple things make very melancholic. For example Avicii’s song came up on the radio the other day and I felt like crying thinking that sensitive people always have hard time living in this world so they choose not to. I also relate a lot to songs written by Chester Bennington especially “Heavy”.

----------------------------

Hi anon,

Thanks for the description! With the caveat that as always, typing people you don’t know is an imperfect process, I feel fairly confident that you are neither a 1 nor an INFP.

Nearly every one of the traits here that you mention fit ISFJ at least as well, if not better than INFP:

- an Fi sense of identity is influenced by other people - it’s impossible not to be - but I just don’t see how having a competitive parent would in any way make an Fi user, as a person, relate to enneagram 3 unless they themselves also identified as competitive (which you might be, but you mention your father and not yourself here).

- meticulousness, reliability, being detail-oriented, and rule-following are some of the few stereotypes of high Si that are actually true.

-The reason why meticulousness and rule-following are high Si traits is because high Si users prefer to understand things through that with which they are already familiar, and rules are a structure that helps with that. High Si users also like closure and while I try to avoid placing too much import on how people interact with fiction, your strong preference for shows that are already finished and wanting spoilers sounds like that need for closure. If it were a one-off trait I wouldn’t discount INFP, but in the context of the rest, this is further reinforcement of high Si.

-ISFJs are also introverts and feelers, so all the traits regarding introversion and sensitivity apply here. In particular your descriptions of the things that you find emotional fit better with an Fe sensibility than an Fi one.

- ISFJs are also (somewhat correctly) stereotyped as painfully nonconfrontational, which brings me to the enneagram section.

Enneagram 1s repress their anger but are often self-righteously very confrontational. They’re considered one of the more confrontational enneatypes. That does not fit with what you’re saying at all. I have no doubt that you aspire to be a good person, but 1 is a lot more than that. For example, the average 1 would probably confront their family if they felt their family would disapprove over something totally reasonable.

1 is really strongly correlated with low Fi, and I think a big part of it is that 1s are specifically interested in being the perfect person for themselves, not for others.

Based on what’s most common, enneagram 6 is worth looking at (I don’t know if you have diagnosed anxiety or just experience a lot of fears, but 6 is associated with generally wanting stability and fearing many unstabilizing forces).

Additionally, while I mentioned your description of why you relate to 3 as a sign of Fe, I do think it’s possible if your goal is to be valuable and perfect to others and your greatest fear is that you won’t measure up (specifically to your family).

Finally, I’d look into 9; this may be somewhat coming who I am as a person and somewhat cultural but you’re striking me as exceptionally nonconfrontational.

#mbti #enneagram #isfj #enneagram 6 #enneagram 9 #enneagram 3 #Anonymous

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spiffysixxsense · 4 years

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Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess.

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up?

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol.

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US.

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever.

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble.

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol)

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar.

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in.

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol)

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them.

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family.

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical.

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time.

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really.

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

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ziggystardxst · 4 years

Text

so sometimes i go through these phases where I'm 110% done with life

then there are times like this.

I've been with this guy for almost two months now and I can't remember the last time i was this mentally exhausted. it's like, why am i putting myself though this? he's not abusive or anything and I'll get to him again later, but a relationship shouldn't CONSTANTLY feel like just another thing you have to deal with on top of everything else. I absolutely give up on talking to any of my friends about this because it always has one of three outcomes (or two or all):

they don't care

they tell me im being dramatic

they defend him/take his side

i just don't feel like dealing with that anymore, or at least at the moment. i don't want to have my feelings invalidated anymore. I'd rather just keep it bottled up at this point. and then i start thinking, are they really my friends? or do they just feel bad for me? or am i that annoying kid who can't take a hint/they don't know how to tell me to fuck off? because they're always belittling me. It's like I'm their fucking punching bag.

because I am. because I allow myself to be.

me and my passive, nonconfrontational ways. I'd rather take constant abuse than say or do anything to defend myself.

my "friends" as i will now refer to them honestly suck. i get that relationships are important to people, but i couldn't imagine completely abandoning my friends for my boyfriend. I'd NEVER. and they'd be pissed at me if i did. but I'm supposed to be okay with them doing it? it's fucking bullshit.

back to the boyfriend thing. god where do i even start. is he a bad boyfriend...no. maybe? i don't know. it's so fucking exhausting I can't stress this enough. I don't remember exactly how we met but i think it was some stupid instagram group chat. and we became best friends and i developed feelings because I'm a dumb bitch who catches feelings too fast. but the feelings i had for him weren't gone in a week like they normally were and i knew i was in trouble. i eventually told him how i felt in September and he miraculously liked me back. since that day, I've spent every single day wondering if he does actually like me or if he just didn't want to hurt my feelings, because sometimes it feels like the latter. I'd blame it on my paranoia, but I'm not the only one who sees it this way. in the past three days we've had maybe two full conversations??? (and i get being busy, but how hard is that to communicate? it takes seconds to say "hey I'm busy can't talk" but with him its more like, an 8 hour silence with a "hi" and the occasional "i miss you" i know im overly sensitive about everything, including this situation, but I can't be the only one who gets this).

i try so hard. and i don't necessarily mean in my relationship, but life in general i guess. i try so fucking hard and it's exhausting. i try so hard to fit in. i try so hard to be a good friend. a good girlfriend. a good person. i try so hard to do well in school. i try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. i try so hard to see the good in people.

someone once said that when you view the world through rose tinted glasses, red flags just look like flags. sure, i understood it upon first reading it, but now i understand it. I'd like to apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors from this point on (or at any point, really. I've never cared for proofreading) since im currently bawling my eyes out, but that's neither here nor there.

so my boyfriend does this specific thing a lot, I won't say what it is because it's a dumb thing to feel this upset about and i feel pathetic for crying over this, but at the same time i believe my feelings are valid, but he does this SO much and it hurts so much more than it should. i did mention my oversensitivity, earlier.

maybe I'm overreacting but when someone tells you that you're doing something that bothers them, you should actually try to fucking stop doing that thing if you care about them. within reason of course. the little things like telling cruel jokes at their expense, not asking to change something about you (physical appearance, personality, etc.). I've told this guy more times than i can count how much this thing hurts me and how much I've cried over it and it always goes the exact same "I'm sorry" and i forgive him, like a dumbass, and he does it again.

every. single. goddamn. time.

and i think, how much more of this can i tolerate? I'm so tired of talking about the same thing over and over and nothing changing. it's a waste of time.

he's also the type of guy who treats you different depending on who's there. when it's just us, it's amazing. but if even one of his friends is there, I'm almost invisible.

I'd talk to him about it but I don't see a point. it's a whole fucking cycle and im tired of being the only one left hurt and crying for days while he's having the fucking time of his life. if i didn't love him so much I'd let him go. I would've let him go a long time ago. the first time he did what i told him hurt me AGAIN. god why is everything in my life such a mess? i always tell myself to listen to my mother because when she doesn't like someone I'm involved with whether it be romantically or platonically, there's a reason. in all my years she's never been wrong ONCE. and i tell myself "maybe she's wrong about this one" and you know what? she probably will be wrong about a person one day, but it's never the person i want it to be.

she tells me a lot about this because she was in my position once. she doesn't want me to end up like her. brainwashed, naive, and pregnant before my life even started. luckily her life turns itself around, but that's rare. she doesn't want that for me and I'm so glad she's always there for me during the fallout after not listening to her.

it makes me feel bad for taking her advice for granted.

should i leave him? i have no fucking clue. do i want to? no, but if things don't change, i see no reason to stay. i can only remember very few times in my life where I've been this down and just tired. idk. rant over.

#personal #kat’s thoughts

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simmingkatie · 5 years

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hi ! i wanted to say something about your post about the minors thing. i am i minor and i didn’t feel offended in anyway. I’m not telling you to put the post back I just wanna give you some love and say I fully support you. I know some may be offended but forget about them. I know with all the recent drama going on it’s been hard but stay strong. I love you and ur blog katie💕💕❤️💕❤️

Awwww thank you so much, anon!

I honestly shouldn't have posted it, because there are plenty of minors on here who are great, some I'm even pretty close to. It was really just one person who ticked me off, and I did call them out. 😅 I'm usually really nonconfrontational and avoid drama like the plague, (I even have the tag drama blocked) but all this stuff this morning got to me.

Freedom of speech in creative writing is so important, you guys. We can't let that be taken from us. Just because we write about something doesn't mean we condone it! I certainly don't condone locking people in your basement lol.

I've lost followers today, and that's okay. They just quietly left. More people should be like them. Don't like it? Unfollow and move on. Don't send people on a witch hunt.

Anyways, thank you for your support, anon!! 💕💕

#nonsims #ask #katie replies #rant #drama #anon

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theonlyrealerin · 5 years

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I am LOSING my mind- I am someone who is very fckin confrontational because I was bullied in middle school to the point that I went MUTE because I didn’t want to say anything and I crawled myself out of that hole and I don’t take this BS from anyone anymore but I’ve been avoiding telling my friends what I really think because I don’t want to be left behind anymore. But now!? I’m gonna fckin LOSE IT. They treat me like I’m just there for their needs and I am so TIRED of it. She told me to my face that she only hangs out with people for her personal needs and that is some manipulative bull crap right there! I am NOT going to pick up her fckin mistakes all the time for her. I’m not there for her to constantly put all of her negative crap on so she can just go about her life and I’m left dealing with it. I’m tired of my advice being “seeked out” only to fall on deaf ears when it isn’t what she wanted to hear. I’m tired of this crap. I worked way too hard to get away from that place I was in in middle school and I am NOT going back because of one person. She says she’s family but I know my family would drop someone in a heart beat if they knew how she’s been treating me. If I was an actual friend she wouldn’t constantly belittle me. She never takes a stance on ANYTHING important because she’s “Nonconfrontational” but I know for a fact that if anyone disagrees with her then that’s where she decides to have an opinion. Not when someone is literally trying to tear you down, not when her friend is spreading lies about you around school, not when you’re trying so hard to be the leader you needed when you were a freshman. No. She isn’t a friend, she’s a fckin coward.

#I am NOT here for someone to treat me like this #I am NOT your personal tool

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dietadviser · 6 years

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My therapist isn`t going to save me but I still show up

I most likely to treatment because I'm 37 and still have no concept whether I'm fat or thin. Due to the fact that every five months or so, I'll skip an exercise, imagine my skin has altered to dough as well as utilize my partner as a mirror. Due to the fact that if he postpones also a second in responding to a concern about my upper legs, I'll feel them swell to legendary proportions. Because I'm 37, my body still does not belong to me, and I'm not certain it ever will.

I go to therapy because, some early mornings, I sob while I make the beds. Since I think long and also hard, as I'm stuffing a cushion into a satin case, concerning the social implications of making that bed and exactly how I'm dragging women down a notch and also perhaps destroying my child's suggestions concerning femininity by smoothing sheets as opposed to participating in Monday morning meetings.

Despite every one of the reasons I understand I require treatment, a truth slapped me hard in the face after bring to life my second baby as well as while feeling completely incapable of keeping 2 little people to life: I made a decision that it was due time I quit treatment. I scheduled at my specialist's workplace in 35 mins (it takes 20 mins to own to her bucolic area), and yet there I was, stretched throughout my sofa with damp hair, brushing Amazon for a brand-new digital toothbrush.

I decided in that minute that all I have actually ever really required the whole time was an excellent evening's rest which treatment was complete bullshit.

Truth be told, I was livid at my absence of development. I unexpectedly felt I had actually wasted time, loan and psychological power on a person who was unwilling to share all of the services to my problems she had actually plainly found out in grad school. I obtained tired of hearing that my mommy was responsible. I understand she's at fault. She knows she's responsible. However the 'mom destroyed me' excuse obtains stale the older you get - especially when you have youngsters of your own and recognize that exact same monster that nurtured your insecurities also walked the halls with you for hours when you had a fever, wiped your vomit from her hair and would certainly have picked to do the same thing over and also over once more if it suggested safeguarding you from the slightest hint of discomfort. Does that reason her shitty conceited propensities? Yes, in fact, it does a little.

And, besides, my mom hasn't already spoiled me in at least 15 years. I gleefully passed that lantern to myself. It's time to obtain an action on.

So I psychologically ready myself to fire my therapist that evening - final Amazon purchasing was just part of the here-I-am-on-the-couch-casually-proving-to-myself-I'm- over-this process. In the real world, people drew it up - I, as well, would certainly suck it up.

Since I don't such as upsetting individuals, I got to her office exactly on time, wet hair as well as all. Those very first couple of secs when she waits for me to speak are usually ideal up there with one of the most unpleasant ones of my life. In the real life, I'm never the first to speak.

Finally, I started the ball rolling: 'I do not assume I'm doing treatment the best way.' This might be a great time to discuss I'm nonconfrontational to a fault.

' What do you imply?' she asks. 'I believe you're doing treatment simply fine.'

Then I throw down. In a 10-minute tirade, I passive strongly stated that she has single-handedly compressed all of my therapy hopes and also dreams. It went a something similar to this:

I don't intend to be mean, but this isn't really working. I still have no idea exactly what to do when I fear or exactly how to manage my emotions. I'm still the very same amorphous ink smudge enjoying vivid oil paintings smile with their lives as well as grocery store without painful over the state of the bananas they have actually included their carts.

Also, exactly what is my tag? Why have not you anointed me with a label yet? Do I have an eating problem, also though I understand precisely when to stop and also consume an almond? Is it an anxiety condition? Am I victim of psychological incest? Without a tag, how can I be sure I deserve to be here? Can you at the very least conserve me from the f *** ing humiliation of learning I'm in treatment for no factor? What am I expected to do when you lastly tell me I'm just like my mother? Feel pity as well as simply deal with it?

And, like that, I revealed to myself (due to the fact that my therapist had recognized this for months) both reasons I felt I had not been making progression in therapy. The initial: I repented of every, awful component that I really felt obliged to reveal. I really felt a lot more embarrassed of myself after a session where I concealed that unpleasant point I claimed to my spouse during a debate, while having no such reservations when it came to bitching concerning his behavior.

The secondly: I wanted my specialist to conserve me. I longed for a start, center as well as an end to treatment and believed we would certainly have a session someplace between where I culminated. So, when each session stopped working to create that release I craved, I regarded it a fallen short experiment.

But treatment isn't really an after-school activity where you score a couple of objectives, win a trophy and go on to larger and also far better points. It's a slow-moving, slow-burning process that could be laborious and also frustrating at times. Someday, you'll wake up feeling cured just to begrudgingly attend your 'last' treatment session and discover on your own sobbing your eyes out because you understand you're ashamed of yourself for no goddamn excellent reason.

But that you could lastly, after staying in your very own darkness for many years, see on your own with clear eyes as well as concern terms with exactly how you're holding on your own back - also from therapy itself - is evidence that treatment is working.

I hate therapy greater than I enjoy it. I abhor understanding the person in front of me, though very qualified and a great deal much more informative than I can ever before dream of being, is not my personal master and also is only here to assist me establish myself totally free to make sure that I could control myself. At the same time, that's precisely why I'm sticking it out.

#diet #low glycemic diet

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missmentelle · 6 years

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My aunt shows signs of being a "covert narcissist" and I've been told by two counselors that she's not a good influence on my mental health and I should establish boundaries. However, I keep finding myself being suckered in because I'm very nonconfrontational and there's a part me that is very trusting and sympathetic even when she's being mean to me and my family. What exactly should I do and how should I deal with someone exhibiting toxic narcissist qualities? Thanks so much!

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re dealing with a toxic person in your life; it’s always hard to set boundaries with toxic people, but it’s even more difficult when that person is a family member. This isn’t going to be an easy process, but there are some definite steps you can take to protect your own mental health from her:1. First off, it’s important to decide what, exactly, your boundaries with your aunt are. Write them down, if you have to. How often are you going to communicate with her? Under what circumstances? When are you going to pull the plug if she starts getting mean? Make concrete rules, like “I will not text my aunt when I am doing something important/meaningful to me” or “If my aunt says something hurtful, I will not communicate with her for 48 hours”.2. Practice being more assertive, not with your aunt, but with every aspect of your life. This is a skill that has to be learned through constant practice. Start with little things. If a restaurant messes up your order, politely let the waiter know instead of shrugging it off. If someone asks you to take on extra work that you don’t really have time for, say no to them. If you don’t understand something in class, ask for clarification instead of struggling silently. Make it a goal to assert yourself in one small way every day - over time, this will start to become more natural for you in all your relationships. 3. Keep a diary of the mean things your aunt says and does to you and your family. Keep it close to you. Whenever your aunt decides to have a “nice” moment and you feel yourself getting suckered in, re-read the diary and remember what she’s really like. 4. Remember that there is a big difference between being sympathetic to someone and being a part of someone’s life. You can have lots of sympathy and empathy toward your aunt and feel bad that she’s gone through rough things, while still recognizing that your aunt is bad for your mental health and needs to be kept at arm’s length. Cutting her out of your life isn’t being mean to her, it’s being kind to yourself. Remember that, and repeat it to yourself as needed. 5. If you can, ask someone you trust to be your Designated Boundaries Buddy. Tell them what’s going on - in as much detail as you feel comfortable - and let them know that you’re trying to learn how to stick up for yourself more. Ask them to help you keep track of your progress, and to help remind you of your aunt’s toxic nature every time she tries to slither back into your life. You can do this! Best of luck to you!

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collegelifehacks · 7 years

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So I've been having a lot of issues with my roommates with keeping me up at night until like 4 am when I have to wake up at 6 am on some days and I've tried kinda talking to them about it but I'm not very confrontational and I don't want to start problems because we're only 4 weeks in but I'm starting to really struggle in class because of it so do you have any advice?

... tbh, Nonnie, I’m a very straightforward person but I’m also nonconfrontational. I’m not sure if this will help, but I can try. I’m gonna suggest you talk to them again.

Phase 1Just bring it up as casually as you can (again) when all of them are around, and do the sandwich method: 1. compliment them as roommates - they’re fun, etc. 2. Tell them your problem - you struggle in class and it’s partly also coz you have to wake up early and it’s hard for you to fall asleep. 3. Again, remind them they are great people, and it’s fun, but they need to tone it down. Phase 2 Find another housing option. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than having to deal with passive-aggressive roommates later on.

Keep me posted!

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hexaes · 7 years

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tag thing (tagged by bihive

its 85 questions so its under the cut. not tagging anyone because i can’t fucken type lol

the last:

1. drink: brown sugar milk tea from gong cha

2. phone call: probably with my mum lol

3. text message: the upside-down smiley face emoji to my dad

4. song you listened to: hanafubuki reflect

5. time you cried: oh when i watched the ending to ffxv for the first time which was like. 5 months ago?

have you ever: 6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: mmm no?

8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: no 10. been depressed: I Wonder. 11. gotten drunk & thrown up: no, but i inadvertently caused my little brother to when we were in Russia (i chugged a glass of white wine and he copied me by doing the same. he was 12, this was only like 9 months ago. that’s the second time he’s thrown up after alcohol like that. honestly what are my parents even doing)

favorite colors:

12. mmmmmh dark pink-red

13. teal

14. indigo

in the last year have you: 15. made new friends: yes!!! more than normal actually 16. fallen out of love: ...nno 17. laughed until you cried: mmmm yeah probably

18. found out someone was talking about you: lol yeah! but not in a bad way 19. met someone who changed you: oh definitely 20. found out who your friends are: i don’t have like, friendship drama. like, if you’re my friend then you’re my friend 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no.

general: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: oh all of them except three (16 out of 19)

23. do you have any pets: nope! 24. do you want to change your name: too lazy and nonconfrontational 25. what did you do for your last birthday: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY and i did nothing. i did nothing last year as well. 26. what time did you wake up: a bit before 6 AM 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.... 28. name something you can’t wait for: my art to improve? 31. what are you listening to right now: nothign really 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes! 33. something that is getting on your nerves: oh um...hypocrites maybe? 34. most visited website: tumblr and then twitter 35. hair colour: black 36. long or short hair: short but not really. like shoulder length 39. piercings: none 40. blood type: i think i’m like AB+ or something idk 41. nicknames: ummmm Chan, hexy, hex, “homestuck person” 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: kanaya 44. pronouns: they/them 45. favourite tv show: if this includes anime and stuff i guess right now it’s bnha!! but my fave of all time is NICHIJOU!! 46. tattoos: nah

47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: never 49. piercing: wow. 50. sport: fencing! 51. vacation: oh i dunno i’ve been a lot of places. idk where i’m going next. japan is nice. singapore was the last place ive been, that was good too 52. pair of trainers: i just wear my ecco shoes for everything

more general 53. eating: i like eating pasta

54. fav drink: MILK TEA IS MY FAVE!! i also like chocolate milk and hong kong style soyabean drink. i’m lactose intolerant so the first two give me tummyaches if i have too much 55. what you’re up to: i’m supposed to be revising for maths but i’ve been doing that all dayyyyyyy 56. waiting for: hm...... waiting for this year to be over so i can have holidays! waiting for the end of term but i have exams after so.. 57. want: not many things. validation and online attention and good marks but that’s about it. oh and for gay marriage to be legalised or just like, equal rights in general 58. get married: KIND OF BUT I HATE WEDDINGS 59. career: something that won’t make me wanna die

which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: hugs!!!

61. lips or eyes: neither!! 62. shorter or taller: short bc most of my friends are short. i’m tall though 63. older or younger: i dunno!! 64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach i guess :? 65. hook up or relationship: relationship...???????????? 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant..always have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT POSSIBLY 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no. i have perfect vision i think 70. turned someone down: yes!

71. sex on the first date: no.. 72. broken someone’s heart: POSSIBLY BUT NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY (probably) 73. had your heart broken: depends. 74. been arrested: no.! 75. cried when someone died: no, but i don’t know many people who have died

76. fallen for a friend: oh worm i guess maybe

do you believe in 77. yourself: a bit 78. miracles: nah dude 79. love at first sight: no.

80. santa claus: lol no 81. kiss on the first date: idk do what you like guys 82. angels: mmmno

other

83. current best friend’s name: good question idk best friends are for chumps i have lots of good friends

84. eye colour: dark brown

85. favourite movie: i don’t actually have one cause i’m lame and don’t watch films often at all

#hexa.txt #about me

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creatorofuniverses · 7 years

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3, 8, and 11!

Ah, thanks! From this post, feel free to send in asks!

3.) Would you rather meet a brave tiny that instantly tries to fight you while shouting profanities or one that’s terrified of you and does nothing but cower/cry?

Oh gosh, both would be hard to face! I’m a very nonconfrontational person, and I don’t like being scary either. I guess I would rather meet the tiny that wants to fight me, because at least then I can let them and maybe they’ll feel better. XD I would just be so heartbroken over somebody that’s terrified of me. If they’re fighting, at least, they have the bravery to maybe talk it out later.

8.) Would you rather have a G/t relationship that’s platonic or romantic?

Definitely platonic. I am so ace, and honestly Gt romances don’t do much for me. I much prefer Gt friendships. ^^

11) Would you rather have to create makeshift clothes out of a handkerchief or a sail?

Goodness, definitely a handkerchief! I would be terrified that a sail wouldn’t be enough fabric. ^^; At least a handkerchief is more than enough for a tiny. I can make sweaters!

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

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Trying to figure out Enneagram. It's confusing and throwing my MBTI type into doubt too. Female, in my 30s. I need tasks and situations to make sense or it annoys me, I don't like thinking about feelings because they're annoying and get in the way. Almost no interest in "causes" and not bothered by bad news stories though of course I'd rather they not happen. I'm not happy in sit-down jobs and can't play office politics worth a damn, never been good at extended chit-chats. (1/7)

Instead I'm probably thinking about what's around me, what I need to do right now or in the near future, spotting and solving problems. I'm good at that, how to maximize what we can stock on shelves or the quickest way to get the receiving dock organized. Best at work when I'm moving, something physical and thinking too. Boring sit-down work or slacking off to talk about vacations doesn't do it for me. At home... yeah, there my organization skills and follow-through go out the window. (2/7)

I'm bad at following through on routines and personal plans when I'm not seeing progress - "maybe it'll pay off in a year!" uh-uh if there's no evidence of progress I'm out. When I DO see improvement and know what I'm doing is working I can be persistent but I need to know I'm not spinning my wheels. I'd typed as ISTP, and my behavior is really 9w8-ish I think. I'm not confrontational, most things slide, but I will snap at someone or put my foot down if they push me WAY too far (3/7)

and I'm certain they're wrong. It takes a lot. Problem is that I don't really want harmony and serenity or whatever - boring. My real fear is that I won't accomplish anything important in life, that I'm not worth anything because I haven't earned it. I don't care about love as long as I'm respected and people think I've done well. And, well, I failed at that. Dropped out of college at 19 because I didn't want to be there, and that definitely put me on the wrong track. (4/7)

Most of the classes were pointless requirements, I wasn't working and earning any money, and I didn't know what to major in anyway."Whatever you want [but you'd better guess right!]" I hate that game so much, I don't have any really strong interests anyway, I just wanted a good life path. Leaving was my own dumb decision. And I hate how little I've done and am still trying to find a way up. (5/7)

At least I do have a job and it's not the worst, but isn't something that brings much pride. Nobody cares, even if my physical ability is good for my size. "I can stack 70-pound boxes and I'm 5'3"!" Yeah, maybe if I was in the UFC it would count, being mildly powerful like this doesn't. It's like I have the fear of a 3 but not much confidence or real achievements to back it up so I respond like 9, withdraw and avoid conflicts so I don't make things worse. (6/7)

Summed up: I know ISTP and 3 don't mix, ISTP 9 could work but it should be 9 fear and not 3 fear driving it, and I either have my type wrong or am missing something important on Enneagram (or both?). It's bugging me because it doesn't add up and it's not like I have any hard data to figure it out with. Any help would be much appreciated. (7/7)

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I’m not sure from this, but my guess is you might be an ESTP in which case 3 is very much on the table. You describe some very impulsive choices, and someone your age who’s an ISTP would likely have some decent Ni at this point and be better able to work with long-term results. The fact that you’re fairly nonconfrontational might have led you to mistype as an introvert, though again there’s not enough for me to be confident. It’s also worth noting that 3 disintegrates to 9 which fits the behavior in the 6th paragraph very well.

#mbti #enneagram #Anonymous

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