#and idk if they can go home yet
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I hope you have a lovely day with lots of snacks
Tl;dr the day was not lovely but there might be snacks
I actually didn't have many snacks today but I'm about to make up with it with a couple of churros and dark chocolate dipped strawberries.
Today I...woke up and showered and replied to comments on AO3 for a while, and then I spent about 4 hours formatting documents into PDFs of varying sizes for Patreon and Ream and uploading chapter commentaries into compilations. And then I did more formatting stuff behind the scenes while I stared at all the other behind the scenes stuff I need to do and thought 'writing is a hard job' quietly and intensely.
I ate lunch while I was working. I also made some memes about how overwhelmed I felt, and then made some for my readers too, lol.
And then I laid down for about 4 hours because I also have chronic illness (whee) and I am constantly in pain and varying degrees of fatigue and I literally must lie down every afternoon so I don't collapse in the evening (literally) - and I did a tiny bit of reading (webtoon: Shutline (which I immediately realised I'd read before and didn't fondly remember), webtoon: December (didn't mind this)) and then dozed restlessly because it was 40C/104F today. I also edited a Tiktok art video in Adobe Premier Rush, but I haven't put it up yet, and I should really do that.
Got up and made ham and cucumber sandwiches for dinner, and watched Girl with the Dogs on YouTube while I ate, and a Smosh video.
Then did some more work and helped a friend with her work stuff, and then I watered the garden for 1.5 hours because *points tiredly to the heatwave* and stared balefully at the dark sky (you can't water during the day - it's literally a heatwave but also it's illegal here to water during the day) with its few stars because they'd set up a severe weather warning due to extreme winds in our specific area and it was dead AF and oppressive out there and it was just hot instead.
I watched a few Tiktoks while I watered.
When I hung the hose up back on the holder thingo, I sang to my plants: 'I hope you make the best out of the water I just gave you, you little fucks' like a sweet lullaby, and a person who I didn't know was outside next door because it was like 9pm and pitch black laughed softly and sweetly, like they didn't expect it, and felt kind of fond. I didn't know I had any nice neighbours on that side of the house, so I mostly just thought 'WHOOPS SHIT' and then felt too embarrassed to say anything.
And then I came back inside and replied to some asks (hi!) and am hopefully going to eat churro's soon and it's 10pm and so I'm probably going to do some more work and then I'm going to go to bed while I feel stressed about the work I haven't done (currently Palmarosa is the heart beating beneath my floorboards). I will probably keep reading December. It's okayish.
I don't know if I'd call today lovely, because I'm burnt out and I want to put up the Christmas decorations but it's 10pm and idk if I should start that because it tends to make me severely ill to do it for a few days.
I'm a little sad, a lot lonely, a little melancholic, a little grumpy, and a little very excited about churros and chocolate dipped strawberries. I resent days that are 'work and sleep' sometimes, especially during November. That's my fault. That's on me. I'm a mean and shitty boss to myself.
Gotta do something about this burnout at some point, because December is the worst month for my PTSD, but I also need to keep getting paid, because medical bills and food and stuff. So like...finding the balance there is a constant work in progress.
There were some lovely moments today:
That little laugh from the neighbour in the dark
The first yellow peach of the season
Doing tricks with my cat (who is trained) for treats
Making silly little memes
Helping a friend with work stuff
Replying to some amazing comments
Watching cute dogs
Feeling pretty accomplished at putting up those compilations on Patreon/Ream even if I'm not done yet.
I hope you're having a lovely day too, anon, with many snacks.
#asks and answers#personal#i have not had a lovely day in a while#a member of my family died suddenly this week#suddenly and unexpectedly#and within 12 hours#two other members of my family directly impacted by this death#had to evacuate due to the fires#and idk if they can go home yet#i don't think they can but the fire has at least been downgraded#i am burnt out and sad#yesterday between working on writing stuff#i photoshopped photos of my uncle for my mum#for the funeral home#to make them nicer alkfjsa so that she doesn't have to pay someone to do this#i might delete this later y'all this might be a little too real#but sometimes it doesn't hurt maybe for people to know i'm human#hell sometimes it doesn't hurt for *me* to remember i'm human dslkfjasd
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Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah
Thanks for reading! :) <3
#persona 5#p5#akira kurusu#OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND#if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year.#Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES#as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough#you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO#and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!!#i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments#and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru?#and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters.#and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :(#so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down#'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :))))#ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :)#hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess#probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!
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She wished the Rush would rise and wash the whole city away, Flea Bottom and the Red Keep and the Great Sept and everything, and everyone too, especially Prince Joffrey and his mother. But she knew it wouldn't, and anyhow Sansa was still in the city and would wash away too. When she remembered that, Arya decided to wish for Winterfell instead. (ACOK I, Arya)
Isn't it funny that in the very first book Arya thinks about something bad happening to the people she hates, realizes that someone she cares about could get hurt in the process, and instead decides to focus on wishing for home? I just think that's a neat character moment for her 😁
#arya stark#asoiaf#game of thrones#it's almost like...it's almost like Arya has never once prioritized getting revenge over returning to her family and home#and that's been a core aspect of her character since the very beginning!#she hasn't ever actively hunted down anyone on her list or thought that she needs to stay with the FM so she can get revenge and YET!#she gets no satisfaction from Joffrey's death because her family is still dead and YET!#idk I just think it's so funny that the reason people have for her being consumed with revenge are easily disproved by the book#sucks that people are too lazy to read the books themselves and come up with their own theories instead of repeating popular fanon#she can't even give up her morals and identity when she thinks her /pack/ is gone she's def not going to when she knows they're alive
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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I refuse to believe a damn thing I’m seeing thanks <3
#noragami#noragami spoilers#like this just spits in the face of all the themes and messages of the entire story#idk how hiyori being yatos shinki could possibly benefit the narrative#like do they just go home after this and begin the entire cycle of protecting a shinki from ggs again?#or does she conveniently get to remember everything too cuz of some asspull and then they live happily ever after?.?#the whole point was that hiyori should live a full long life#whats the point of yato rising up to father if he just gets ‘taught a lesson’ yet again#and nora too for that matter im just waiting for some payoff after that entire bond she formed with hiyori#like this is just the dumbest way to go out especially for how rushed it is#its so absurd which is why i dont entirely believe this is actually hiyori kicking the can#surely adachitoka gonna pull something here dhsifnksjf#im betting amaterasu will pull some magic cuz a) yato keeping his promise to kill father#and b) something something about a loophole with hiyoris unique half dead status#and the fact that theyre in father weird abstract water dimension#jumbled thoughts ghhhgghh#like im yatori garbage to my core but this aint it
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No, real question. How you a transmed and nonbinary?
#thotty speaks#They said 'oh people don't take you tenderqueer nbs seriously cause yall won't get on hrt/get surgery to show us youre serious#Look I want to get on t. I wanna do a lot of things to make me feel more at home in my body that I'm not sure about yet#Safety wise etc and it just...as a Black person for you to not understand other Black trans people being hesitant abt jumping into surgery#or worrying about pricing and post surgery care and being under medicated etcetc#Not to mention that I shouldn't have to do these things at YOUR pace to prove that I'm trans like...#You got top surgery money? You tryin to nurse me back to health when I take days to try to heal?#I just hate this argument cause you can ask any nb who medically transitioned if people 'take them seriously' and usually the answer is#A resounding no! Most people see nbs who medically transition as 'just trans with extra prns' and 'still about clothing'#idk I just hate the idea that I have to 'earn' legitimacy by rushing into something I haven't even found a proper safety net for#I feel like if you doin all this yappin but you not going out of your way to look out for people just starting hrt or need help post op#just shut the fuck up#idk it just find it funny like you do not benefit from that transmed shit at all but do you ig
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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skybound collectively unshitting their pants after acquiring the full rights to clementine, the coolest character in their own franchise
#clementine and lee....unbeatable sorry (im not sorry actually)#ive been finally watching the show lately and lets just say its increased my opinions of the games hsdfksjd#dont get me wrong its not the worst thing ive ever seen but hoo boy does it go downhill. binged 6 seasons and hit a brick wall at 7#struggling to finish it now but ive made it to S10#havent heard much better things about the comics...i just want to know more Lore#it speaks#twdg#sorry skybound she will always be telltales baby shes living her best life at ericsons forever no matter how many comics you make#idk how much clearer S4 can be about ericsons being clems forever home but apparently skybound didnt get the message#im just surprised they havent shoved her into one of their 1000 shows yet#something i used to want and now deeply fear. i just wanted her to have a cameo but theyd never let it end#one of the last things telltale released being the end of clems story is Very fitting it closed the book on her And the studio#(averting my eyes from the walking corpse that is now telltale 2.0 💀 still fitting i guess now just sad)#the credit graffiti and the 'thanks for playing' make me cry every time 😭 S4 is such a love letter S4 my beloved
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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I wanna play with Legos right now :-[
#had a dream i built a crazy lego house for my people#we have a lot of legos at my parents house#maybe i should go home for spring break to play with them#also bc my mother is like dying#i mean. not terminal yet but shes now in hospital bc fever plus v low white blood cell count = no good#my parents were planning to visit this summer. will that happen now? who's to say#i dont think she can hike so like idk but a couple weeks ago it seemed like it would still happen#maybe that was before the secondary cancer diagnosis. i dont remember#ugh idk its expensive to fly out of here and i really need that time to do a lotta photosynthesis reading before my committee meeting#but i really wanna play with legos rn#unrelated
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🏫🍃🌥️
#oooof... sleep was rough bc my face was super itchy. all of a sudden i got rashes in my face yesterday ?!?!? i have NEVER gotten that wtffff#hopefully it's just temporary nd will go away. it's still a tiny bit itchy but not as bad as yesterday :o#istg my life is a JOKE!!!! a joke!!!! rashes?!? what? maybe stress nd anxiety?? idk it's wild tho i cant deal w this#so i couldnt really fall asleep but i rested for a few hours#then i got up. took my dog out. had oatmeal. called the surgeron clinic.#and like... i told them abt my weight and they said im underweight?! and that my bmi is 18.9 and u need to have 19....#i told her that i cant gain weight bc i cant eat anything. that i cant have more fat than i already do bc then it hurts too much#she said she'll talk to the anesthesia doctors and call me later. she hasnt called yet#i rlly hope they understand the situation?? and that i can still have my surgery bc what else am i supposed to do???#ughhhh why cant anything ever just be easy and smooth for me??#i am sooooo tired of all these hardships piling on top of eo#then i walked to school.. took me an hour and im spent now bc im so weak nd malnutrioned skskskks#and im in class... it's a long one. still more than an hour left :'( my head hurts#ugh i just wanna be fine for once in my life#but yeah im like 75% thru all the hard things i need to do today#just need to finish class nd then walk home nd then hopefully get a call back and then i can relax (as much as i can lol)#i hope the itching goes down (still wtf is my body doing? i have no patience for it anymore) nd i hope im not too underweight for surgery om
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im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the sky speaks#i havent used twitter in so long and lemme say i missed using tumblr like twitter. just putting my long rambly notes into a single post#anyways onto the rambling#i havent been writing or drawing like at alllll#too busy#also was so sick#but now that i have my new job and i know what my schedule is gonna sorta look like#3 days at joann 2 days cleaning w mom and 2 days nothin#PLUS i dont have to spend money on therapy til after the new year now#and mom is coming home and she seems rly optimistic abt sobriety#im feeling like i can finally create again !!!!#i have 2 creative presents i need to do before christmas#but aside that and 1 prompt still in my inbox (that i rly wanna do anyways) everything else i wanna do is all for Me :)#im kinda put out bc a lot of stuff i wanted to do this fall got shelved.. i wanted to make bday art of kirishima xinyan and kazuha.#i wanted to open comms. but im way too rusty w art rn to be confident doing that. maybe after new years?#god i wanted to come out to my parents properly. the day my mom went to rehab was national coming out day.#it was also one of my last therapy sessions. i came out to her instead#i still managed to do stuff tho. started my new job and got together with friends TWICE !! and i've kept up w doing my moms job alone#idk where im going w this anymore ive lost steam. but yeah. i wanna write today! idk what yet. i hav so many wips i could work on..
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Rosette AU
#Info of Welcome Home Au#Idk how to use this correctly yet but just bear with me.#In this au (which is inspired by a Ghilbli Studio film by the name of The Baron Cat Returns) I haven't thought too deeply or wrote#much of it yet (still thinking on how things should go) Both the neighbor & Wally go/have the same problems. Both feeling like their stuck#in a loop. Everyone's designs are nothing but roses but different colored ones at that. But as for the neighbors roses their black & white.#They can travel through a person sized flower pot but its cracked. Like said im still thinking on how things should go on this#but its a start.
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not to p*riod post but like. it came so late last month and it’s even later this month probably both due to stress (lol) and i mean i never “hope” i will get it ever but i was hoping id get it during the fall break so it wouldn’t mess up any of the things i need to do this week and i think there’s like a 90% chance im gonna get it tomorrow which is a jam packed day during which im supposed to give a campus tour to a prominent vice president an hour after getting to the office so. lol
#purrs#i don’t want to call it when i don’t even have cramps yet but if i wake up in agony im probably going to work from home. im trying this new#thing where i don’t push myself to do the usual thing if im in agony and i know there’s stuff that needs to get done but it won’t get done#well if im not well first so. yeah. i feel so bad like the tour is at 10 and im probably gonna… idk. i shouldn’t say im going to do when i#don’t know for certain yet but it’s not looking good. also i am kinda worried abt why suddenly it’s getting later and later like ive been#thru much worse stuff than what’s happening currently and it came maybe like 2 days late at most but im getting to the point where it’s#around a week late now and ummmmm. i don’t think that is normal 😃 but i am trying not to think about it that hard bc nothing else is ‘wrong#that i can tell it’s just it’s late. idk. im dreading it so much i always dread it it’s so so painful and i hate knowing im about to#experience such severe pain i cant function for like 24-36 hrs 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#delete later#probably gonna have to cancel the tour which will make me look like a flake but. 😐
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shirin likes to cuddle with us now on the couch but especially with my husband she will just walk up to him where he’s sitting and flop down on his chest. what is his secret!!!! i want what they have
apparently actually she did this waaaaay more when I was gone for all of august and it was just him and her alone LMAO 😭💔
I guess that’s what they have…….. the shared trauma bond of both of their favorite person’s prolonged absence. totally not spinning this to make myself feel better… I’d never…
#she’s also starting to do it on the bed too but she’s more skittish about that#i think this is like. her starting to really get comfortable with us and she will eventually be doing it as casually on the bed too#she’s always been super chill and comfy/confident from the day I brought her home even tho w cats the standard is 3 months to adjust#so it makes we wonder if she is possibly just going to be the cuddliest sweetest babygirl lap cat the longer she lives w us#*makes me#I HOPE SO MUCH! DREAM CAT<3#shirin#I can tell she wants to sit in my lap too but she’s not 100% sure so she doesn’t every time she considers it#she will walk up to me when I’m sitting and stand on or next to my legs and look at my lap like ‘I wanna’. and then be like ‘but not yet….’#and sit next to me or on the other side of the couch instead#she will only occasionally decide to lay fully on me#alternative theory is he generates more body heat than me but she LOVES the cold so???? idk
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