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#and i'm just emotionally drained

emaiiyaru · 10 months

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dusts off ask box

it was just genshin chars in wonderland roles, there isn't really any lore to it outside of the disney movie that i was following

i don't really follow kpop groups but i do like Twice and BTS songs

i can't believe we're getting three generations of women into genshin impact

it's pretty cool that you can share your interests with your family honestly

thanks i really don't draw them as much as i'd like to

i was more worried about my proportions back then but i'm glad to hear that my old art is still holding up

thank you, i've really been beating myself up lately

what the heck!! that's insane.. genuinely thank you for supporting me for so long

#i'm really sorry if my responses sound a bit dull #i'm emotionally drained right now #i can't imagine following me for like 4 years what the heck #i think we're all victims of the genshin pipeline because this game just hauled everyone from ALL over #godh tumblr is so nice..such a whiplash from twitter #it really felt like i couldn't draw throughout this past month but nice msgs from inbox and tags #really made me want to draw again #and now i'm actually drawing again #it also makes me happy that people are still writing into my inbox despite my absences #some of these are pretty recent actually like i rarely ever get simultaneous asks #again thanks everyone

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moongothic · 6 months

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i would love trans crocodile but im very cynical that oda would write him in a respectful manner. thats not even thinking of how horrible that one portion of the one piece fandom would treat him

Yeah the fandom sucks and I'm going to strangle everyone (including the cishets who claim to be trans allies and then use "Crocomom")

But with Oda it's weird because like. The more I think about it, the more I'm like... 50/50 about Oda being able to actually deliver good, respectful trans masc rep.

Like I've posted about this before but One Piece does have this on-going theme of having characters "stuck in wrong bodies" or "having one's body changed" (sometimes reversably, sometimes irreversably; sometimes against their will, sometimes consentually). Which, in theory, in my mind, does kind of signal that on some level Oda understands the idea of being "the wrong sex" (whether or not that's a good way to explain The Trans Experience™ is a whole different subject but it's an old fashioned explanation that Oda would probably be/is familiar with) But at the same time, while the concept pops up again and again in One Piece, Oda doesn't really dwell too deep into the idea of what that's like. Like, emotionally. How it feels like to like, get turned into a toy or be a child who gets aged 20 years or to get turned into a cyborg or a giant child or have parts of your body permanently turned into animal parts (sometimes with a will of their own) etc

And like. Part of me understands why, Oda does tend to want to focus on writing a story he thinks teenaged boys would be interested in reading, and he has often stated he wants to have fun with his story too (like that's partially why Luffy's a Rubber Man, because Oda thought giving Luffy a ridiculous ability would make him more fun to write and draw long-term, which is valid as hell) This is why for example Oda has avoided doing any romances in OP, and while there are dark themes in the story, often he has done his best to avoid making them too blatant, as some things would be too mature for his youngest readers (like, for example until Kuma's backstory, it was never explicitly stated what would happen to the slave wives of the Tenryuubito, even saying it was "implied" would be pushing how that subject had been treated until now)

So like. Because of that, I understand why Oda hasn't dwelled into The Feelings™ part much/at all despite the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative appearing time and time again

Either Oda thinks it'd be too boring either for himself or his readers, or he hasn't dwelled into it because he doesn't really understand gender dysphoria and can't relate to the experience (despite how often it shows its face in OP). Or it could be both, even

The thing is though, as OP has gone on, while I wouldn't say Oda has "broken his writing rules", Kuma's backstory alone has pushed them to a new limit with the love-that-never-was story and the all-but-explicitly-stated storytelling.

So a part of me wonders, if Crocodile is trans, could Oda actually like... take a slightly deeper look into his feelings and explore his queer experience? ('Cause god knows, if Crocodad Real, then there really would be a literal coming out-story built into his backstory that would be extremely unavoidable, and as I've mentioned before, the fact that we haven't gotten to learn almost anything about his backstory yet is Kinda Fucking Sus)

Also I do want to mention how... like Oda gets a lot of bad rap when it comes to queer rep in One Piece, but the more I think about it, I think it's more an issue with the terminology and how translators have gone about either localizing it, or more often than not, leaving it unlocalized 'Cause like. Yes the "okama" would be horrible trans rep but... really... they're not trans representation. They're representation for draq queens. Piss poor draq rep, but still, they're draq queens. And just like our very real life drag performers; some of them are cishets. Some of them are gender non-conforming gay men. Some of them are nonbinary*. Some of them are trans women. Obviously lumping all of these people into one group is kinda offensive (which is why "okama" is (as far as I understand it) such an unpopular term even amongst queer people in Japan), and the way Oda often chooses to draw these characters looks no different to how gender criticals choose to present trans women in their propaganda.

*Like Bon-chan, who explicitly states they are both male and female. And Iva-chan, who switches between boy-mode and girl-mode from time to time, could arguably be called genderfluid (though any specific terminology is up to debate). Both are nonbinary draq queens.

And yet, despite all that. It can not be understated how if you put aside the nameless background gag-characters, Oda does treat the actual, proper queer characters with respect. Everyone would agree that Bon-chan is an absolute hero, we would all die for them. Iva-chan (and Inazuma too) is explicitly presented in a heroic light, seen as someone who helps people and fights for justice (with the Revs)

And then there's the first binary trans characters we've actually gotten, Okiku and Yamato. And I'm pretty sure we would all agree Okiku is 10/10 perfect trans fem representation (I am not entirely serious, I'm not trans fem so I can't speak for trans women here, it's just that I can't see anything Horrendously Wrong with how Okiku is presented within the story- not actually perfect but all things considdered, damn good). She is stunning, people around her (INCLUDING SANJI!!) don't just view her as a woman but would go out of their way to date her (as in, she is seen as "desirable", and not as some kind of a disgusting freak to avoid), she is heroic and sweet and kind and just. IDK I love her And while I'm sure many trans mascs would agree Yamato may not be how they want to be seen by the world (though having Yamato ID as a man while having the biggest moobs is surely validating for a lot of people, including anybody who might not want or be able to get top surgery and/or HRT), again, he is only presented as heroic within the narrative and respected by the characters around him, Luffy especially, which is by far the most important part; the protagonist going out of his way to be respectful of trans characters does represent the values of the story.

And like.

Think about how Oda has treated Crocodile so far.

Like, although we're all having a bit of a laugh over the whole Cross Guild thing, Oda is still treating him as a cool character whom he presents seriously and treats with respect. Like Oda wants the readers to see Crocodile as at least a little bit cool. So I can't imagine him pulling a full 180 with how Croc would be treated in the story if he was revealed to be trans, especially when the potential foreshadowing for that was laid out in the story years ago already.

All this to say; Oda is not perfect at all, but considdering the things he has gotten right so far, I think there is hope he could pull it off. Because Oda is for Queer Liberation.

Really, my only concerns would be whether or not there's a risk Crocodile could get somehow detrans'd during the story (I'm praying the Haki theory isn't an option, really Doc Q might be the only true risk here), if he's stealth and that got presented as "a wrong thing to do" (which I'd hope not, like our previous queer characters have been okay with being openly queer but that may have been more for the readers than anything else. At least, I hope, god knows if Crocodile is and wants to be stealth trans then that's his right and he shouldn't have to out if he doesn't want to, and yeah, I don't want him to be demonized within the narrative for being stealth (if he's stealth, for all we know he could be out)) and like, most importantly, what'd end up being Crocodile's "motivation" for transitioning in the first place

Like. God. I just. I don't want there to be a twist where Crocodile transitioned because "being a woman was weak" or because he "wanted to be acknowledged by Whitebeard" ('cause WB doesn't take women into his crew) or "the scar in his face made him so ugly he decided he should be a man instead" (seen unironic Redditors suggest that. Almost lost my mind) or something

Like I hope someone's at least tried to explain gender dysphoria to Oda. Like the man does have actual queer friends in real life (some of whom inspired characters in OP), so I'm hoping at least someone's tried to explain the feelings that come with The Trans Experience™ to him so that, if Crocodile's trans, then Oda can actually try to base his reasoning to transition on those feelings instead of any stupid "reasons" that no actual queer person would relate to

But it all just boils down to... Is Oda willing to actually dwell into those feelings and explore them in the story.

It... it really could go either way with Oda

So yeah. Anon, I'm with you, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was at least A Little Worried. But also... I want to be hopeful. Because I do believe there is reason to be hopeful.

Only time will tell how it'll go

#Moon posting #Asks #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Long post #CW Discussions of transphobia #For the record- cishets using ''crocomom'' for like fandom tagging purposes is fine #But outside of that. P e r i s h #Literally no need to misgender him.#(And obligatory disclaimer: yes if you're trans masc you get a pass on misgendering Crocodile. I'm @'ing the cishets not you)#(Also I'm not dead serious. It's just a pet peeve and god dammit I need to complain about it somewhere djkfghdskfgh)#While I'm at it with the tagging complaints please for the love of god tag your genderbends so people can blacklist and avoid them #Your Cross Guild Yuri is fun and fine but for some people having a trans man get presented as a woman in fanart #For no other reason than “girl pretty” pretty much #Can be just really emotionally draining and painful when the world so explicitly **does not want you to be trans**#Just. It'd be The Nice Thing To Do. You can draw your fem Croc just. Please tag it. For the love of god.#These tags are an absolute mess yeehaw

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homicidal-slvt · 1 day

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[WARNING: VENT]

It's so awkward having to explain to people when I've been stressed or too overwhelmed for a while that I just went 'dead mode'. Where I essentially don't feel anything - not sad, not happy... Can only vaguely pretend like I feel stuff just to care for others emotions or what's going on but I feel nothing.

Because then someone is just like "How can I make it better? How can I cheer you up?" And it's like - that's not how it works. Just give me a bit and I'll be fine.

Some act like I'm hurt and they get upset and it's like - calm down. I'm literally fine. I'm just empty inside, it'll get better.

Then other people misunderstand and get pissy and are like "Oh so you don't care?" Or some other bullshit and it's like... Look, man. I do care in a way just not the way I usually do because I'm a little fucked right now. Relax.

#I'm overly empathetic until I get so drained and it's all system shutdown emotionally #and ik people mean well but they often make it worse when i tell them so I began just hiding it. i just pretend I'm still feeling.#I tend to isolate myself when this happens because I'm just... tired.#vee's thinking too much

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unstationarywagon · 2 months

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I thought I knew Torchwood from watching it with my mom when I was younger. Now it's very obvious to me that she was particular with what she let me watch. There's the raunchy stuff of course that she kept away, but turns out I only saw select episodes of the first two seasons.

I just finished watching Children of Earth.

This season has completely rocked my world in a way that no media has done to me in a long time. I was in deep suspense, I was shocked, outraged. I SOBBED multiple times. Ianto Jones you will always be alive in my heart I will never be the same thank you

#children of earth #torchwood #ianto jones #I don't even know where it's gonna go from here #just Gwen and Lois in torchwood? a timeskio maybe?#gosh I'm emotionally drained

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clearbun · 4 months

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having half my mutuals post about it constantly may have convinced me to read dungeon meshi soon

#i was maybe gonna start it tonight but I'm way too emotionally drained from stress #(I'll be fine just overwhelmed by a lot of life things rn <3)#so. soon though #dol-talks

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stars-long-lost · 19 days

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Yo, so.

Are you gonna continue to play fucking coward, or are you gonna actually own up to the shit you're doing and STILL saying?

Are you gonna actually fucking read the points that were made, and process them, or are you gonna only try to find ways to pull strawman arguments from them?

Are you gonna continue to excuse your still-going-on shitty behavior, or are you gonna actually take responsibility, regardless of if you're taking your meds or not?

Are you gonna continue to make excuses that don't line up with what you are STILL saying, for the fucking record, or are you gonna finally shut the ever loving FUCK up and go back to the cesspool of pure fucking sewage that is Twitter?

Excuse my toxicity and anger, I don't give a flying fuck if I'm being an asshole anymore, because the son of a bitch ain't listening, nor do they have a fucking will to learn. I don't get why I should be nice to some more-than-likely white son of a bitch who's a self-proclaimed supremacist. You know, the same people who actually rot communities with their fucking nazi-like behaviors and ideas.

I'm not taking "Oh, i was spiraling!" or "Oh, I'm traumatized and this icks me!" or even fucking "I'm trying to make my community appeal to the possible bigots!" as ANY fucking excuse. You're so god damn vile that I'm baffled and amazed at how your stupidity isn't leaving you to rot in the PURE liquid SHIT that you came from.

At least when it comes to the shit I do, if I really hurt people (which. I tend to focus on emotional harm if I'm really in the mood to hurt people - I won't pretend I'm the nicest alter - I'm the alter that gives a fuck until I don't, and I have so little energy thay I couldn't care less about you being a whiny son of a bitch because you don't like that a fifteen year old middle, who resides in an eighteen year old body l, told you to shut the fuck up and put up), I won't apologize because I'll stick by what I said without trying to fucking excuse myself n my behavior.

You are just. something fucking else. And it's not welcome in these tags. Or in others' inboxes, because you're still playing pussy.

[ If you're very confused - Hi! We're talking about the "troll" that's going to people's askboxes now because they didn't. like when we directed confronted them and countered their arguments hella hard. Yes, I can normally be a massive asshole if need be - evidently ]

🤷🏾

#supernovas create nebulas ★ discourse/arguing #counting the night sky ★ original posts #anti transid #anti radqueer #anti radpara #pro para #anti 🍓🌈#I'm 'sorry' for being a bitch (not really lmao - but I'll be honest at least)#i think my toxicity is slipping out from being emotionally drained. I just don't give a fuck and don't have much of a filter besides #not saying slurs unless it's self directed (calling ourselves a black retarded mentally ill degenerate proudly e.g)#So this is what's said for now. and I mean every word. Lmao

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starless-aria · 1 month

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