#and i need resolution immediately
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I set a reading goal for myself this year because I finally got back into reading after years of just not really doing it and like, I've read 3 books in 3 days.
I need to be stopped.
#i decided to set a goal because i haven't done any regular reading since like... idk it's been a while though#my goal is 75 books#and i asked my partner to set it for me and his first suggestion was 100#and then he was like no wait you should do 75 so that it'll be a nice surprise when you hit 100#anyway my head hurts from all the crying i did over this third one but i am off to read the fourth because it's a duology#and i need resolution immediately#even if i was trash talking it a little in my earlier vagueblogging post lmao#personal
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one problem with a theatrical adaption of tlt is htn, where the reveal that Gideon lives on works because of the change of second person to first.
the only way i can think of it working is that the actor playing gideon works backstage, like the lights system (but is hidden from the audience aside from subtle hints)
the biggest hint is when when wake breaches pal's river bubble she 'breaks' the lighting system and the stage goes dark. harrow is ushered into the wings by pal so she doesn't see anything, but the lights flick back on just before the curtains drop for a scene change, and pal looks directly up at the light box in surprise and smiles. if the audience is quick to turn around they can see a flash of a black robe.
Oh boy my friend, have you come to the right place!!
So, fun fact about ninja. Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. The image of a ninja covered head to toe in black, with a hood and mask, comes from Kabuki theatre. It was originally a stagehand uniform. Like stagehands in modern theatre, stagehands in Kabuki would wear all black to signify that they were not really there, and whatever effect they were causing (carrying a prop, creating a breeze, ect.) was to be taken as happening on its own. Basic stagehand stuff, a lot of productions in many styles around the world do it, especially if they don't have fancy rigging systems.
Someone (I don't remember who now, or in what play) had the idea to dress the ninja in a production up as a stagehand. In the convention of the theatre, this made them invisible. The audience was already so used to ignoring stagehands, they didn't know any more than the characters that the ninja was present, despite the actor being clearly visible on stage. Which meant when the ninja struck, it was as if out of nowhere. I can only imagine the uproar in the theatre the first time it happened. It worked so well as to become commonplace, and the rest is history. The popular image of a ninja is still a kabuki stagehand.
So, back to the stage play of Harrow the Ninth. I think you've hit almost exactly on how to incorporate the Gideon twist into a theatrical production. But not as a lighting tech. Gideon is a stage hand. Maybe there would be more than one stagehand, maybe she would be the only one, but she would operate in full view of the audience, literally setting the scenes. I think it works best if she's the only one, but if the production needs more, she should subtly stand out in some way.
As the play went on, we would notice that this one stage hand... increasingly interacts with Harrow, though Harrow never acknowledges it. At first it might look like she's playing Harrow's necromancy, because that would be the main special effect she would need to help with. When Harrow is unconscious at the end of a scene, it's always the same stagehand carrying her out. But we all know she's not really there. Until Palamedes acknowledges her. Turns to look right at her, and speaks to her.
I can see the scene clearly. He would look at her, stunned, until Gideon finally took off her mask. The line "Kill us twice, shame on God," would be addressed to Gideon, and then he would turn back to Harrow, kiss her on the forehead, and tell her to go. Gideon, always out of Harrow's line of sight, would guide Harrow away while Harrow looked back at Palamedes.
#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#I have a few ideas how to do gideon as harrow but it needs a lot of workshopping#I love this idea#htn spoilers#gideon nav#speaking as someone who has worked as a light tech that specifically doesn't work so well#because techs are rarely on stage messing with the lights during a production#maybe if there was a spot on the catwalk or if the array was small and the gels needed changing#but anyone who can turn off all the lights on stage is usually behind the audience in a little control room with a lot of switches and dial#that said the stage SHOULD go completely dark immediately after this scene#and the lights should come up suddenly on Gideon and Harrow alone on stage together#harrow having a crisis and staring resolutely forward while Gideon behind her reaches for her and can't touch her#just for a brief moment
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"evan, i find you adorable". adorable as in able to be adored. as in capable of being adored. as in i find you worthy of adoration. adorable, from the latin adorare (to worship) to adorabilis (in the sense 'worthy of divine worship') to the current day adorable. as in maybe if we had made it to the movies or if eddie didn't show up, i could've showed you just how much i want to worship you. as in i look at you and there is a font of adoration in my heart for you. adorable as in i flew into a hurricane with you and yet this date is a thousand times more thrilling than that. adorable as in there is a person in your building who saw me jump up and down like a little kid in the lobby after i had kissed you for the first time. adorable as in i kissed you and immediately thought fuck i could do this forever if he lets me. adorable as in i want to press kisses to your birthmark. adorable as in i spent the entirety of the days leading up to our date wondering about you, if you liked your coffee with two sugars or one. if you liked storms or if the lightning strike had put you off on them all together. if you liked cats or dogs or if you were the kind of weirdo who liked goats instead. if you thought about the kiss as often as i did. if your stomach tangled into twisted knots as saturday drew closer. if you would be agreeable to sitting in my lap. if you would blush as prettily as you did the day i kissed you. if your world also realigned when our lips met. if our orbits had matched up now that we flew into a hurricane together. if the gravitational pull between us had finally been too strong for either of us to resist that night in your loft. or maybe, more simply, adorable as in, "evan, i find you adorable."
#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME#what is this#i heard that line and was like how can i wax poetry about this#tommy kinard the man that you are#like it was just an interesting line to me. it literally keeps me up at night#and then tommy immediately following it up with 'i just dont think you're ready yet'#because it's true!!! idt buck was ready for the restaurant and maybe if buck had told tommy this was his first 'dude date'#they could've picked a more secluded spot and maybe then the movies could've still happened and they could've sat in the back#as some stupid movie plays onscreen but buck would ever so carefully tangle his hands with tommy's bigger ones and tommy would#squeeze them once and buck would be so nervous he wouldn't be able to look at tommy and would stare resolutely ahead at the movie he#doesn't care about but the whole time he'd be thinking about the way tommy holds him so gently but eddie did happen and buck is freaking ou#so tommy steps back and tells evan 'i dont think youre ready' w/ the implication being call me when you are and he puts the ball back in#evan's court. and maybe tommy thinks that's the end of it. it takes people years to be ready. hell it took him years to be ready except#beautiful brave evan calls him less than a week later and says 'maybe i'm not ready but if there's anyone i'd like to find out w/ it'd be y#i need to be sedated#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#buck x tommy#911 spoilers#911 season 7
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the Return of the Jedi (1983) experience . ty @lorillee you made my week
#text✨#star wars#posts from a galaxy far far away#i love u star wars. <- my cringey white nerd trait#excuse the nitro bg needed higher streaming resolution to experience Darth Vader’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Family Reuniom#canceled it immediately but i am getting my moneys worth of rainbow background!!!#still wild we speedran the whole OT in one night. stunning. i am having So many thoughts
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the dual destinies space race is one of the biggest points of missed potential in my opinion and it's all because it makes zero sense. you mean to tell me that the hat launches are important enough to prompt international spies to sabotage them, enough to kill in order to stop them, but not important enough for the government to provide gyaxa adequate funding? is this space race even connected to foreign affairs at all or is it completely independent? why are no other countries even referenced here? who are we even fighting? staging an entire cold war for an apollo missions pun may be excessive but leaving plot holes is inexcusable
#ace attorney#aa5#gyaxa#i have a test on the cold war tomorrow. can you tell#and i am complaining about video games on the internet instead of studying#we need a phantom resolution investigations style IMMEDIATELY#import em
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as much as it emotionally destroyed me, i do have to say those last two pages of bsd 109 are like. the perfect cliffhanger. and i'm kind of super glad bsd releases monthly rather than weekly so it can actually hold the weight it was given
#bsd 109#sorry i read mark of athena the week after it came out and now i have a mild obsession with how the act of waiting for resolution#after a cliffhanger enhances the story#don't get me wrong. it's absolutely excruciating and i NEED to know what happens next Right Now Immediately#but if bsd released weekly i'd get to the end of the chapter and i'd be like. it's okay it's okay only seven days#and the ending of the chapter wouldn't have as much impact. you know?#but having to wait a month means i'm looking back at the end and i'm trying to tease out anything i may have missed the first twelve times#i examined the page#and the interjection of the panels of dazai / sskk / fukuzawa taking the bottom half of the penultimate page--#SO GOOD!!!!#we were talking in one of my classes last semester abt how the penultimate move is JUST as important as the ending and ohhhh it was pieced#together SO WELL in this chapter#and the slanting of the panels on the penultimate page as opposed to the straight horizontal ones on the last#increasing anxiety as aya is trying to push the table#then calming as it's finally falling#only to end right there#oooohh i have so many brain worms sorry#i'll stop writing an english major essay in these tags now#hello grace here
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willing the brain to eventually do something about this at some point
#some of those are so old it wouldn’t even make sense to answer them now#some are like the nice messages I never know how to answer#(should I just delete them all and get a new resolution to answer them immediately now or—)#then of course prompts I still need to deal with#haven’t filled a prompt in literally forever ugh#and questions about fics (mostly the fco au)#it’s almost as bad as my AO3 comments
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WIP game
RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
tagged by NOBODY, I just wanted to do this because I'm stoked about my wips lol.
My wips in no particular order:
Foster Care AU (which is technically finished but I'm still tinkering with it until the first post day on the 15th)
Darkest timeline envelope days
Caleb Ray Reggie A/B/O AU
Christmas Elf Reggie
Rayleb Willie matchmaker
outsider pov the ot3 is super married
Pro Dom Ray/Autistic Reggie AU
tagging: @floating-in-the-blue, @invisibleraven, @bananakarenina, @onlygenxhere and @1mnobodywhoareyou
#ask me#I am writing a thing#listen my 2024 resolution was to write all the self indulgent shit and I am living up to that#also YES THE FOSTER CARE AU IS DONE#did I finish it and immediately think 'I should have added x chapter' and then go 'fuck no it's fucking done' yes I did#gonna be posting it from next week until fucking october lol#it does not need another chapter#also trying to figure out where that would fit in the timeline made me want to cry so... shhhh
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going to explode forever
#i’m still cleaning my room right and i have my shitty old laptop that i bought ~4.5 years ago that got me through college and everything#and it was sooo good i loved her so much !! i still have to use it for editing my amvs too bc the screen resolution is just so much better#than the new computer i bought last may. anyway but i have to connect a keyboard to it and keep it plugged in 24/7 bc it immediately dies#otherwise and certain keys don’t work. like when i say it’s on its last legs i mean it#and it’s crashing more and more lately so i’m too scared to edit anything bc i don’t have anything backed up !!!!!!#but ANYWAY it’s ridiculous to have to have 2 laptops one for editing amvs and one for all my other stuff like browsing and school etc#like that’s taking up so much space it’s such a hassle etc but the laptop i would really need is . $1500 😮💨🤢#and even if i sold my new-used 1 year old laptop it would only go for like. $500-$600 max and i can’t afford $1100 💀 but also i DO have loan#money from school and it WOULD be a big investment but !!! i grew up poor!!!!!! i live in constant fear of big purchases !!!!#but i also know!!! that this big purchase would meet all my needs and last for years!!! anyway. okay i’m done ranting i tired myself out#if ur reading this hi kiss 😘
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btw ive learned something fascinating recently that people on tumblr dont know about. if someone gets something casually wrong (and theyre not being overly confident or a dick about it) instead of commenting or going into their askbox and saying "you are a dumbass and this is why i think you should die" you know that you can just say "this is wrong because of ______. ____ wrote a good article/post/study/video on this that i think you should read/watch."
one of these is significantly more productive than the other and makes it so that the person is educated and less people in the world think like that, and if they dont listen, then you can still tell them to die and that they suck because now its confirmed that they do. its a win win.
the other is just sending a note into a paper shredder because youre upset about some shit somebody didnt have any intention of meaning or even know the implications of. this inevitably alienates them from your perspective entirely because nobody wants to listen to the ideas of someone whos first thought when somebody is unknowingly ignorant is to tell them to die and that theyre fundamentally irredeemable as a human being.
hope this helps everybody. 👍
(THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING ACTIVELY BIGOTED OR MALICIOUS DESPITE KNOWING THE FACTS OR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALREADY DUG DEEP INTO THE ISSUE AND ARE RUINED BY CONFIRMATION BIAS AND THEIR DESIRE TO HATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE. KEEP SENDING THOSE PEOPLE DEATH THREATS PLEASE 👍👍)
#op#this is snarky but also a real step by step thing because i know for a fact theres people who dont know how to do this#people who grew up on the internet especially just have 0 knowledge on conflict resolution#i dont necessarily blame them bc its just the world we live in now. but it does get exhausting#like i get it bc a lot of situations where this happens its minorities that are fed up with the bullshit#and ofc if somebody is just saying outright 'i will never support ___ people' or '[x group] is just not as civilized as white people'#you can absolutely immediately skip to death threats#but like even im guilty of this. where somebody is just repeating what their family/friend group says and doesnt actually know shit#and theyd be really easy to win over but because the alarm bells start going off ill go straight to snapping at them#and while its understandable and justified i need to learn to be able to tell the difference before i do unless im in an actually-#-potentially unsafe situation#i understand the gut instinct to ignorance and the immediate spike in fear or anger or disgust#but legitimately since i have started taking a minute to talk to people who are just saying shit online#like 2/5 have gotten closer to understanding what i was saying or agreeing entirely. and thats 40%. thats A LOT.#people CAN change their minds especially if they are Unwillingly Stupid#a lot of people Are just plugging their ears and going lalalalala but some of them are just listening to those people without thinking-#-about it#and you can fr be the one that gets the gears turning if you get there at the right time#i dont recommend doing any of that irl of course bc theres actual danger. but online the worst they could do is stay the same as they were
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Please every time I have a crush I legit stop functioning and refuse to speak to them or even go near them it’s awful
m-me.
#saw him today and he walked past my table and i didn’t even look give him a once over i looked away immediately.#he’s so fine i get nervous like what am i supposed to do. smile? tf#bffr#it’s my biggest weakness#i think i need to make a 2023 resolution
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.
#sorry i need to vent ignore this#my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit#bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer#and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted#but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but#now i hate it again i hate it so much#ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN#and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but#i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad'#and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards?#but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers#but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but#it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression#like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be#in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly#to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and#i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy.#made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that.#so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?!#but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn#im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now#i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it#clara tais toi#like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO#preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and#the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like#it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted#dl later
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Help im mourning trigun's ending again
#personal#i think abt vash bc i love him and he never got his full development :(#wolfwood did but got fucking shot immediately after skdhfjdk#like triguns end doesnt exactly take a stance which kind of feels like an accidental stance of itself#concerning cashs development i mean#before i was just like 'well that happened' but now im like. we never got that question answered :(#not much changed and not in a good way...#wolfwoods death i can disagree with and imagine a fix-it au but not for the overall end theme/resolution lol#i feel like I'd call the manga better but the anime did at least kind of pick a stance lol#even if at the same time it felt unfinished lol#anyways vash :(((#he needs the comfort part of the story! not just thinks skipped past!!
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Flatmates annoyed and a bit passive aggressive because they didn't tell me about the rule. Apparently we're meant to message the group chat when doing a load of washing because it takes so long - the reason why I didn't know this is a rule is because no one ever does this. Ever. I know I would have asked about it.
And like yeah I under that blanket smelling bad is sensory hell and another person's sheets being crusty is yucky but I hate not being able to shower, I have to have a shower to be able to shave. If I need to be accommodating your sensory needs then you should be accommodating mine.
#Not actually actually annoyed#Okay am annoyed#But like#It is what it is#And this is just a miscommunication and double standards#Communication is the key to resolution#And we do communicate#Just#I got villianised because I reacted annoyed to being told that I broke a rule that no one followed and wasn't made clear to me#I love my boyfriend but just whenever I'm annoyed he immediately goes into appeasing trauma mode which makes it difficult to communicate#So I'll be hurt and emotional but have to put the feelings on hold to comfort him#Starting to get annoyed by my bf slightly belittling my trauma and encouraging me to use my dad's money for uber eats#Like bitch I have told you several times I want to be free of his influence#I don't want to need him#But holy shit does 300 every two weeks help or emergency ubers#But that means he gets a say in what I do how I do when I do where I do#I offer to pay him back for something and he'll refuse to give me his bank info#I'm gonna ask my sister next time that happens#And yes#I know I'm complaining about a pretty good issue to have#But I'm so sick of being coddled#I think that's the right word?#I've had several health complications throughout my life and my parents are overly parental about it#Ugh#Venting is good#Some stuff in here is hyperbolic
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Alastor and reader's wedding? What did her dress look like? How did Al react to her wallking down the isle?? PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW
I always cry at weddings 😭 😭 😭
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
TW: Possessive Alastor, FEELINGS
Description: ☝️⬆️
If you two got married when you were alive, then I imagine it was a very small and intimate ceremony
You and Alastor did a lot of the decorating yourselves, even making your own wedding cake because Alastor can BAKE
You two had a blast doing it too, turning everything into a little game and making deals over who could set things up the fastest/nicest
Winner gets a kiss from the loser
You two would likely only invite your closest friends and relatives(if you were close with your family that is)
If Alastor's mother was still alive by the time you guys got engaged then she 110% would be there(I genuinely don't remember when she died soooooo)
She would absolutely be his best man because who else would be worthy of such a position??
Happy tears from her the entire time
This woman will walk you down the aisle if she has to, she won't let you walk alone on your big day
Not Alastor holding back tears at the sight of his mother and soon to be wife walking towards him
Mimzy would also have been there, and she would've fought for her right as maid of honor, like physically fought off her competitors
You're haunted by the memory of it, actually
Absolutely sticks her nose in everything but only because she wants it to be perfect for you two
She will tear up anyone who throws a wrench in the ceremony and will run it better than she did her own club
"These floors better be SPOTLESS! If I see a single speck of dust on that dress-"
She probably insisted on paying for the wedding too
Alastor would probably have a last minute freak out at the thought that this is actually happening, he's getting married
But he wouldn't be nervous about you leaving him at the altar or anything like that, just normal wedding jitters
But he's resolute in the fact that he wants this, he wants to be your husband and share his life with you
And he definitely doesn't want anyone else thinking there's a chance they can take you from him
Alastor is positively radiating warmth and pride by the time you're walking down the aisle, blown away by how stunning you look
Whether the dress is unique, traditional or not even a wedding dress-he's amazed by just how good you look in it
It makes his mouth water
He's lowkey preening for you the entire time
It just makes everything seem more real to him, immediately reaching out to take your hands in order to keep himself grounded in reality
He actually is at a loss for words for once...
"You look really handsome..."
The sight of your happy blush brings him back, and he's pressing his forehead to yours
"And you look nearly as good as I do, my dear~"
Ass
The slight quiver in his smile, glassy eyes and tight grip on your hands gives him away though, you know what he really means
You look heavenly to him
Neither you or Alastor listen to a word the officiant says, too busy gazing lovingly at one another to pay them any mind
And you're definitely not getting distracted at the feeling of his thumbs gently caressing over your hands
When it comes to the vows, Alastor definitely puts his heart and soul into trying to make you cry at words
He's putting on a show for you but you love it ❤️
He looks smug as hell when he finishes
His gaze becomes softer as you say your own vows, smile becoming a little more gooey as you make his heart race
"And if anyone is opposed to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Not Alastor and Mimzy giving death glares to anyone who would even dare saying anything
As if you two even invited anybody who would fucking try
"You may now kiss-"
Alastor doesn't even wait for him to finish, tugging you close and kissing you deeply
And once your arms wrap around his neck then maybe the kiss gets a little too intimate
Mimzy is whistling and cheering while Alastor's mother is politely looking away from you two
You two barely pull away to breathe before he kisses you again, seemingly unable to stop
He just can't believe he's kissing his wife
That he's your husband and everyone is going to know that you're not on the market anymore
Not that you ever were before
It's an embarrassingly long time before you two stop, and you're left panting, rosy-cheeked, and weak in the knees
Alastor doesn't move his arm from your waist for the rest of the night, wanting to keep you close
The only time he does let you go is when he goes to dance with his mother or when it's your turn to dance with his mother
Not her giving you both embarrassing advice about the honeymoon and early married couple life
She wants grandkids dammit
When you two are cutting the cake, he does NOT slam a slice into your face but he does put a bit of frosting on your nose
Only to lick it off a moment later
🥵 BOI
If you do it back to him then he will be properly flustered because he was banking on the fact that you would be too shocked to react
He doesn't care about wedding gifts or anything like that but his mother's blessing means everything to him
So her approval of your marriage and you as her daughter in law just solidified how important you'll always be to him
But don't worry because Mimzy definitely made sure to hook you two up with gifts
Alastor literally can't stop kissing you afterwards, your hands, your cheeks, your forehead, your neck, ect
If you return even a smidgen of that affection back to him then it'll only make him more excited for your future together
He's not even thinking of the honeymoon, he's just overwhelmed with the urge to give you affection
He just thinks about how he'll never be tired of being your husband and having you as his wife
Waking up to you, going to bed with you, cooking with you, messing with you, hell even fighting with you sounds appealing because then he can make up with you
Alastor never really thought of himself as the type to get married but you came and completely changed that with your love
Even though he was difficult and fought falling in love with you with everything he had
You fought back harder to love him
Now that he's here with you, looking at the wedding band on your finger, the loving look on your face
Your hand on his cheek gently guiding him to look into your eyes as you lean in towards him
Feeling your lips on his own as you whisper loving things against them before kissing him
He's happy you won that fight
This one was a lot of fun!! I was originally going to do two versions of this! One wedding before you two died and one for after you both were dead but then I included his mom and-
I got very carried away
#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin x reader
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the biggest problem with tos’ episodic format is that the episode usually ends pretty quickly after the conflict resolves and then they never really talk about it again - no matter how intense or harrowing it was
which means that we don’t get to actually *see* the interpersonal fallout of bones being diagnosed with and cured from a previously-incurable terminal illness (that he didn’t even want to tell jim and spock he had), and then just four episodes later drugging them so that he can go be tortured (and likely die) instead of spock, and so jim doesn’t have to make the choice between them.
did they talk about it? beyond just a standard debrief and a “never fucking do that again bones i swear to god i mean it this time”? did they make it the captains’ quarters for the debrief, only for mccoy to be pulled into a crushing, trembling hug as soon as the door shut while jim tried to assure himself that bones was still here, was still breathing? spock hovering nearby - a hand gently coming to rest on his shoulder?
why didn’t mccoy want to tell them about the xenopolycythemia, anyways? to try and hold onto a few more normal-ish months before every time they looked at him their eyes would be filled with grief - mourning a man they hadn’t yet lost? the same reason he ran away; to spare them what he went through with his father?
only for him to immediately turn around and throw himself back to the wolves to (almost) die right in front of them anyways
i don’t really know how they handled it. whether they talked about it and attempted to soothe the hurt, or just resolutely tried to bottle it up.
but i do know this: spock eventually came back from gol because jim simply (though accidentally) called out for him in a moment of need. bones only came back because jim personally drafted him back into starfleet
#comet posting#they love eachother i promise but my god these boys need to learn to talk about their feelings#star trek#star trek tos#dr mccoy#spock#jim kirk#leonard mccoy#mcspirk#i’m sorry i don’t know why ive been so angsty the past few days#i think it’s the pms#the empath#for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky#star trek tmp#angst#star trek the original series
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