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warmau · 4 years

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ateez x coworker!au | sf9 ver *this post was commissioned (someone asked for some cute ateez) <3

hongjoong

diligent and always on time, he puts way too much effort into any project on his plate

if there’s any word to describe him its workaholic, but hongjoong insists that he’s just being a good employee - nothing more

but it’s like,,,,,,,,,,,you’re doing the regional managers job and you are literally not,,,,,,,the regional manager

he’s some how the assistant to the regional manager and like. no one understands how because like hongjoong most definitely does the brunt of the work

but during annual reviews he’s always downplaying it and that evil good for nothing regional manager takes the credit

wooyoung and san on a regular basis: what if the regional managers tires get slashed accidentally or what if we hide all of those ugly ties he wears or what if we hack into the company's assets and make it look like hes laundering money-

hongjoong: dont do that

wooyoung and san winking: yeah, sure, “don’t do that”

hongjoong: no like seriously dont do that

his little office space is really cutely decorated though and hes the best gift giver at office parties because he always gives something handmade and unique

you have a bracelet that you got last christmas from him when you guys got paired for the exchange, and it’s really so cute and colorful you always wear it

and the office guys tease hongjoong about it like, “hey - are you guys a couple? c’mon tell us the truth - you have a matching bracelet for yourself!” (hongjoong feverishly refuses this but the tips of his ears always get red)

one time mingi, with all the good naturedness of his heart commented that you must find the deep, dark exhaustion eyebags under hongjoong eyes cute - you know, like a racoons!

and you were like o-oh well- y-y-es?!?!?! and hongjoong had proceeded to drag the poor intern out of the break room by his ear

it’s like the shy office romance that everyone is cheering for that doesnt really happen

until one evening as hongjoong is getting ready to finally leave for the day he’s astonished to see you

frantically searching on your hands and knees for something in the dim office lights

“did you lose your keys?”

he asks and you’re so startled you hit your head on the desk you’re under as you come up - you put your hands up embarrassingly and mumble that no,,,,,you lost that bracelet he gave you,,,,

he lets out a little “oh!” and waves his hand in the air as if its nothing, he tells you not to worry - it was just a little gift-

“no, it’s important to me,,,,,,,”

your voice is a slight whisper and hongjoong barely catches

“w-why is it so important to you?”

“because you made it.”

you turn back to start looking again, when you hear hongjoong put his things down on the floor and join you

his hand is warm when it brushes over yours a little

he’s never had someone cherish something he’s made like this before and so even if you two have to spend the whole night searching - he’s down for that

and when you do find it,,,,and there’s still time to take you to dinner,,,,he thinks he’s very much down for that too

seonghwa

spends half his day running away from potential suitors who come down from all the different departments just to ask him out for lunch or after work drinks

he’s just a low ranking officer, he doesn’t get what the craze is about?!?!

hongjoong, taking one hard look at seonghwa: i know what its about

seonghwa: plEAse tell me so i can live a peaceful life

hongjoong, sighing: dude. its your face

and even on the days when he comes in with glasses perched on the end of his nose and a slightly crumpled shirt from having to rush to iron in the morning

like it does not matter - he looks like and literally is - an angel

has a weird irritation about little spots on documents, like if dirt gets in the printer and its on the page hes like,,,,,eye twitching,,,,,,,,,no

three bottles, at least, of hand sanitizer on his desk

his headphones match his laptop, which match his wireless keyboard, which match his mouse - the color scheme we are going for is a calming ivory

once got called in for causing a disturbance, but it was literally not his fault, he went to ask the billing department if they had any extra ink and came downstairs with like five people all chattering at max volume about if he had plans next saturday

wooyung: damn man being beautiful must suck

seonghwa: oh thank you for understanding, it really is-

wooyoung: SIKE it rocks how do i know? look at me!

yeosang to seonghwa: just ignore him, he does this at least twice a day

you know seonghwa, how could you not, and you agree with the majority opinion: he is insanely handsome

but you have your own problems to worry about, that being a very nasty manager who seems to have it out for you

so like seonghwa, you spend half your day hiding from someone, which means

solace in the supplies closet

one day, as you’re sitting inside there, trying to work on a memo draft on your phone

the door swings open - and you jump to pretend like you’re looking for staples

but instead, it closes with a harsh noise and the person slides down against the door - heaving and fanning themselves

“a-are you ok?”

you ask, worried that the shortness of breath is from them feeling sick - when in reality its just seonghwa, on the run from lovestruck coworkers

again

he shakes his head and mumbles that he’s sorry for barging in

but you shake your head, tell him its fine

you’re both under this impression that one of you is going to bounce soon - like this is a supply closet, not the break room - but after about five minutes of utter silence

seonghwa goes, “are you also running away from work people who are in love with you?”

you giggle, but shake your head “actually running away from a work person who hates me.”

he gives you an apologetic look, but you just wave it off - not like there’s much either of you can do about it anyway

its silent for a while, and you keep trying to do as much editing as you can on your phone, not really paying attention to the way seonghwa’s eyes flick toward you in the dark

not until he clears his throat and is like, “well i think the coast is clear so ill be going back out there-”

you nod, thinking you should probably return too before your manager goes bonkers and says you’ve abandoned your position or something

as you near the door though - suddenly seonghwa shyly extends his arm

you blink in confusion and he just goes, “maybe if we go out together itll be less scary?”

the sentiment is adorable and you take his palm in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze

though the moment you two step out - there are at least ten pairs of eyes on you and suddenly seonghwa makes sure to swing your hands behind your backs

he leans down, “dont want anyone to get the wrong idea and then you end up getting hurt too.”

but you think about it for a moment before tugging your hands out into the open - a wave of gasps passes through the people around you like a wave through the sea

you tiptoe up and explain, “maybe if they think you’re taken they’ll back off?”

the sentence shouldnt make seonghwa’s heart jump in his chest like it does - but hey, maybe your plan will work

(or maybe your manager will hate you even more because what - you bagged SEONGHWA? OF ALL PEOPLE?)

yeosang

really really REALLY good at bullshitting stellar work

and not in a last minute oh shit kind of wooyoung way, but in a i dont actually know anything about the material but damn am i going to make it sound like i do kind of way

and to be fair, if yeosang stared you down in a board room meeting for fifteen to twenty minutes selling you a pitch and blinking like a cat on the hunt then like

im pretty sure you’re just going to buy into the pitch

interns are scared of him because they think hes like the no nonsense, dont bother me type

which he plays into sometimes because its fun and the interns will do what he says without bothering him about it

but the reality is he can be quite silly,,,,,,,,,jongho has on occasion caught yeosang getting giddy over like kitten youtube videos on break and everytime yeosang is like you didnt see anything

and jongho is like sure, not until it becomes beneficial to me and i use it against you

yeosang: wh

jongho: so the weather, huh?

knows everyone’s business somehow, but only gets invested if its like super super super juicy - i.e. someone in corporate is stealing money or there’s a secret poker game on the weekend for promotions

like no, san, yeosang doesnt care that you lied on your taxes

you are one of the newer hires, not an intern, just new to the job

and although everyones been pretty inviting - you kind of maybe really think that yeosang,,,,,,,,hates you

he has this routine, an hour before everyone leaves on friday he goes around the department to see if anyone wants to go downstairs and across the street to get some coffee with him

you asume its a kind of “yay the weekends here” thing - which you are very down for, but its been like a month since youve been here

and yeosang has never asked you

hell, he even asks intern mingi - who half the time is doing these starbucks runs so he doesnt have the pleasure of ever really saying no

you had chalked it up to - oh im new, and hes maybe shy? but that makes no sense because this is kang yeosang

shyness isnt an adjective you’d use for him - so the only other logical explanation is,,,,,,,you must have had a really horrible first impression

you decide to ask san about it - he seems pretty close to yeosang and hes also been super open with you - but when you go, “did i do something to make yeosang angry?”

san nearly spits out the rice he’s chewing on - he gets fidgety in his seat, something you arent used to seeing, and says he has to go

curious, you decide to ask wooyoung the same question - but get the same panicked response

so you as yunho, who gives you a sad puppy kind of look and then jongho, who just???????? chuckles

it makes no sense and you’re even more confused than before - when suddenly its friday and yeosang - yesong is approchaing your desk

“do you want to go to starbucks with me?”

the way you jump up and beam must seem like a schoolkid getting their first a+ on a project, but you don’t care - and as you follow yeosang out the whole office gives a big sigh of relief

in the elevator down, yeosang keeps himself tucked in the corner and the bliss you had felt starts to wear down

wait,,,,maybe he invited me because hes sick of me asking other people if he hates me? is he about to tell me he hates me over some iced coffee?!?!

but as you step out and make your way toward the cafe, yeosang stops - putting a light hand on your elbow

immediately you start apologizing, you dont know where it comes from - but like an open faucet you just start saying sorry for the most random things and yeosang just gives you a confused look that shuts you up

“wait - why are you apologizing to me?”

he inquires and your shoulders shake a little, “well,,,,,i mean - didnt i piss you off?”

he looks to the side and sighs, “far from it - actually i pissed myself off more than anything else.”

“huh?”

he crosses his hands before returning his gaze to yours, a fine pink dust settles over his skin

“its just, i was avoiding you because im not, im not like - you know im not like good at like asking - asking peopl- people i like -”

he starts to stutter, or better yet almost malfunction, as he tries to explain

you almost feel like apologizing again for making this so hard on him, when he just throws his hands up

“i like you - and not in the we’re just co-workers kind of way - and yes, i find it hard to approach people i find cute. there. im not mad at you and yes im aware i look like a fool, so lets just go get our coffee-”

your smile almost stretches off your face as you hear his words, instead of knowing what else to say you step forward and takes his hands into yours

“you dont look like a fool, and yes we should get coffee but only if you admit that this is kind of our first date-”

he holds back the urge to laugh but stares down into the sparkles of your eyes

“are you sure? starbucks on a first date is kind of,,,,,,,”

“im sure, ive been waiting for you to ask me to come to starbucks with you for a whole month so its very fitting”

you and yeosang have a good giggle about that - when you come back to the office, san asks where his hot chocolate is but you and yeosang are so busy rubbing shoulders and being even cuter together that you just walk past him

san: im so deeply hurt, but also so deeply moved by how sweet they look with one and other

wooyoung

the office has wildly differing opinions on him, but one things for sure: hes brilliant in the weirdest of ways

on a 9-5 basis he gets like one hour of work done on a good day but lets say like the company is going through a major crisis

the person with the lifesaving idea SOMEHOW will be wooyoung (aided by hongjoong who probably just needs to curb some of wooyoungs enthusiasm)

but yes, like people will write him off as giddy and loud - but hes not dumb

wooyoung: “you can have a bachelors degree and do dumb stuff, like thats not illegal.”

jongho: “vandalizing the ceos car when you were an intern here is illegal though.”

wooyoung, eyes wide: “how do you know about- i never did that,,,,,,,,”

makes memes and shares them in the work gc and the only people who get them are san and jongho, san because he shares a brain with wooyoung and jongho because hes literally young

hongjoong and mingi everytime: i dont get it....

you are a transfer from the companys overseas office and wooyoung takes to you right away

mostly because you’re different and know all this cool stuff that he doesnt

and you really like his fun energy, even though yeosang will be like “dont get tricked by it”

so when you and wooyoung get paired for a marketing project - you are both over the moon

until

its the night before its due and you and wooyoung have. nothing

you’re both spread out in the empty confrence room, wooyoung chugging a monster energy - while you nearly fall asleep and drop the tablet you’re working on straight on your face

wooyoung is like “lets just ask for an extension” but you insist you cant, this is your first big project here and you want to make an impression

but the slump you’re both in is BAD

suddenly wooyoung takes the tablet off your hands and you sit up, hoping he’s thought of something, but instead he blasts some pop song and you cringe as you fall back in your chair

“turn it off, i cant think with that noise.”

“c’mon, dancing will help us think of ideas.”

“wooyoung - seriously, we need to do some work or -”

he doesnt listen to you, he just pulls you up from your seat and twirls you around

you groan and try to tell him that its not going to work - but wooyoung just says it doesnt need to, you guys just need to have some fun before you die over this stupid project

you dont want to admit that hes right - that your body feels like its been reduced to a bag of sludge - so you let him twirl you again until you’re dancing too

the anxiety from the project loosens a little as you watch wooyoung dance unabashedly, tie swinging over his shoulder and dress shirt a mess

you join him, kicking off your shoes and just letting go for these ten blissful minutes

you don’t notice and as you turn toward wooyoung, your ankle catches on one of the chairs and you go tumbling toward him as he catches you and cushions your fall

you both laugh and wooyoung looks up into your smiling face - happy to see it bright after you’d looked so miserable the whole day

actually, he doesnt say it outloud, but this happiness on you is probably the most beautiful happiness hes seen on someone

it glitters and for a moment he doesnt want to let your inviting warm weight off of him

and then - just as his eyes wavier down a little from your eyes to your lips he goes

“AHAH! IVE GOT IT!”

you sit up and he follows suit, grasping your shoulders

“IVE GOT AN IDEA!”

you want to ask him how he got it, what prompted it, but hes already talking a mile a minute

and to be honest, hes pretty happy you didnt get to ask - the answers totally embarrassing - like whats he gonna say

your natural beauty inspired me? how,,,,,,,,how sweet - corny, he means corny!

san

he can most definitely turn on the charm when he needs to, making himself out to be put together and organized

but troublemaking is just too good to pass up, no wonder he and wooyoung are often referred to as partners-in-crime

100% the host for the monthly office karaoke contest

somehow the bartender always gets a little pale when san comes tumbling in because,,,,,,,he is clumsy and quite good at breaking things,,,,,,

he outwits seonghwa into helping him clean up his desk when it gets too crazy

and frequently gets bonked on the head by hongjoong who catches him falling asleep over the keyboard

or trying to play on the switch - but then getting his headphones disconnected and now everyone can hear tom nook’s voice

he adheres to the dress code, but likes to have sparkly pins in his hair or a colorful belt from time to time

just because the bleakness of corporate life SUCKS and is not san’s vibe at ALL

but hey, money.

you like san’s karaoke contests and really enjoy just how much he puts into the performances

even if everyone else is giving their half-baked effort on songs from the early 2000s

you yourself dont ever get up to sing, just because of a shyness thing and also you much rather just watch san cause havoc

until one day you show up and you and san are the only ones,,,,,,,,there

somehow - everyone else has things to do this evening - so you tell him you can just comeback next month

when he insists that no, you two can have fun together!

you end up on what someone might call an impromptu date with san,,,,,

where he does his favorite songs and you cheer while the bartender sends over two drinks “on the house” and whispers to you when you collect them that he hopes you can “be the person who will calm san down”

its awfully embarrassing,,,,,but at the same time kind of fun,,,,,,until san invites you up for a duet

you are saying no, but san is waving you over, and someone wolf whistles from somewhere

and before you know it you are up there - and san puts a hand on yours as he passes you the mic

you kind of mumble into the mic, and believe me its nothing like what san belts out when hes up there

and still - san is jumping up and down and looks like he’s legitimately having the time of his life

his energy kind of boosts your confidence and one might say you even sing a bit of the song

when the night is over, san offers to take the train with you to your stop and if you want - he’ll even take the time to walk you home

just as you two are about to emerge from the station, just sort of basking in each others presence you both get your email notifications from work

taking your phones out you read the message

subject: finally hooking those two up body: ‘so, bets on a kiss - do you think they kissed? i think they did, or at least got close to it - you know how san is during karaoke’

the next email appears, this one is from jongho

subject: re: finally hooking those two up body: ‘which idiot cc’d san and them on the email,,,,,,,,,,,,’

you and san sort of stare down at your screens and then back up at each other

the realization dawns on you: nobody was actually too busy for karaoke,,,,,,,the whole office just wanted to set you up on a date,,,,,,

you are truly at a lose for words when suddenly san is typing back and before you can question it you get a ping!

subject: re:re: finally hook those two up body: ‘haven’t kissed yet, but the nights still young.

yunho

everyone's handyman - and by everyone, i mean everyone. the janitor has asked him to screw in lightbulbs before.

fairly good worker all around, he can come in late on certain days because hes helping grandmas cross streets or saving kittens from trees

and there have been instances of tiny mistakes, mostly because his attention was on giving feedback to the interns

but yeah no complaints, hes never even been given like a warning

very tidy work appropriate outfits - like tie tucked into sweater vest baby

feels guilty when he does have enough lunch to share with every single person, you know hes bringing his jumbo salad bowl to work

the worst lie hes ever told on the job is pointing to his cup and being like, yep thats my morning coffee!!!

when in fact it was soothing decaffeinated earl gray tea because coffee makes him jittery

your assigned to yunho for basic intern training and youre so lucky and thankful because like

youve heard the horror stories, but he is seriously just an angel

and doesnt get annoyed at your questions and even helps out when you get confused

the only thing is that sometimes he gets so engrossed in showing you how to format this document

or where to get the copy paper

that personal space sorta siezes to exist and now hes hovering over you with his big hands over your keyboard

or his chest pressed to your back as he helps get the supplies from the top shelf

and you are not complaining its just,,,,,,,,,,,you know,,,,,,,,embarrassing

and sometimes you have to excuse yourself

or just wiggle away and you dont want to hurt his feelings or anything

its just you hate that with each day you see yunho’s smile in the morning and something in your chest gets a little tighter

and you are not about to date a co-woker, no way no how

even though yunho meets every checklist for the perfect boyfriend

because 1) its probably against the rules and 2) you dont want to just get your heartbroken by the man who is just that kind to everyone

until one day hongjoong makes an offhanded comment about how yunho has never taken this much of a liking to an intern like you

and you think about it all day, up until its the only thing on your mind and it takes yunho five tries of calling your name until you snap out of it and go

“huh?”

“hongjoong suggested this good place to eat, do you want to come have lunch with me since i didnt bring anything in today?”

your mouth works faster than your mind and you go,

“like a date?”

before immediately clamping your palm over and muttering an apology

but yunho’s ears go bright and he sort of loses his composure for a moment till a small, squeaky answer comes out

“yeah,,,,like a date?”

mingi

eager to please intern,,,,,,,but add in a dash of absolute obliviousness

like he wants to help everyone but sometimes the instructions from like five different people just turn to mush in his brain

and hes like delivering coffee to the wrong person or printing out three hundred copies of that poorly photoshopped meme wooyoung made instead of the needed documents

but no one can get mad at him because have you seen him? like it would be straight up illegal to even raise your voice at him

hes so sweet that numerous people offer their homemade lunches to him and hes always like eating a sandwich from hongjoong or freshly baked cookies from yunho

the older ladies of the office just a d o r e him (a little too much, but like hes so sweet natured he doesnt even read into it)

his pants are always short and someone is always like poor mingi’s ankles are so cold

but at the same time he can lift like ,,,,, one hundred pounds of printer cartridge's so its like,,,,,,,,, ok so maybe those skinny ankles actually put in a lot of work,,,,,,,,

you’re the ceos only child and when they’re off on business, you’re in charge of the department where mingi interns

and like anyone else you have a huge soft spot for him, even though you dont try to show it because favoritism is a no-no

actually in general you try to be as fair and as understanding as possible, because your parent isnt really the type

a lot of the office really likes you, but now and then someone will say something snippy or rude about you

simply because they think you got your job through just being the ceo’s kid or that you’re only lenient to try and get in with one of the office heartthrobs

you try not to take it personally and you bite your tongue when it comes to putting those rumors and the people who spread them in place

but one afternoon, you can clearly hear a group of people talking about how you lack the leadership skills to ever take over the company

it hurts, you can feel the pain in your chest, but you try to wrestle through it until you hear mingi’s voice

“i dont think you should say that about them.”

you turn and peek your head passed the cubical - mingi’s tall frame is standing in front of the pack

“what do you know, you’re just a lowly intern.”

“thats true, but ive seen them work and theyre really good at leading. theyre also doing two jobs at once - both theirs and the ceos, i dont think anyone here has to deal with so much work.”

youd think his tone was being mocking, just like theirs, but his voice is clean and clear

like hes just stating a truth he believes in

when one of them starts badmouthing mingi, you step in and tug him away from the conversation as the office workers disperses back to their seats

you tug him toward the stairs and out of earshot and mumble a small thank you

“huh? why are you thanking me?”

“well you stood up for me so-”

he shrugs his shoulders, “i was just saying the truth.”

you nod, embarrassment on your cheeks as you realize that its mingi youre talking to - of course he wouldnt have any other motive but to -

“and theyre wrong you know, one of them was saying youre not pretty and thats a lie too. youre good at your job and -”

“wait, what”

you back up and mingi blinks - “i said youre good at your j-”

“no before that, you think im-”

“pretty?”

you both stare at each other as the realization sinks into mingi’s expression and he sort of opens his mouth like a gaping fish -

“i-i - i just - i -”

you stiffle a giggle and shake your head, “no no, its nice that you think that. it makes me really happy.”

“well, im just a lowly intern so i mean i dont know if its such a great compliment-”

you lean up and peck his cheek, making him freeze midstence

“youre not a lowly intern, i believe youre way more than that and sooner or later youll probably be promoted too!”

“pr-promoted? like to a worker or like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,to,,,,,,,,,,your,,,,,,,,,,,,boyfriend,,,,,,,,,,,”

jongho

kid genius, has a higher position than most people double his age

knows everyone's secrets so no one even tries to start shit with him about it

loves watching the office go into chaos when the printer isnt working and apparently hes the only one who knows how to fix a goddamn paper jam

but hes on a coffee break, let him watch everyone tear each other apart before he actually just presses a button to fix this all

like mingi, he can actually lift way more than him, but why would he - the intern is there for a reason lol

probably has an early college degree from some prestigious school and he doesnt talk about it but he knows people whisper about it

and hes like so what i still work at this dump but like what - is someone gonna rat on him to the ceo? - no, because he’ll just tell the ceo about that one time that person tried to charge the company card for their vacation plane tickets :)

gets work done fast and early, spends the rest of the day just playing minecraft

you used to be jongho’s number one rival for youngest, smartest position

but he sorta beat you out over time and even though you were pissed about it for a long while

youve kinda gotten over the rivalry

instead youre comfortable in your other department and dont really see jongho around anymore

which you think is normal - and actually youre under the impression that jongho is happy to be rid of you

but the reality is he makes up way too many excuses to go up to your floor, i.e. “the bathroom is better there” “their breakroom has this k-cup i like” “the view from the windows are nicer”, etc.

no one notices, or if they do - no one dares to make a peep

but you ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, are starting to think its a little suspicious

so you confront him, as he stands awkwardly by the window at the end of the hall

“are you like spying on me?”

jongho turns around, dark eyes widening just a bit

“what? no. i just like the view.”

“jongho, your office is like three floors above mine - you arguably have the better view.”

he shrugs as if its nothing but you press on

“why are you coming down here - wait, oh my gosh - do you like someone in my department?!??”

you suddenly get bright and clap your hands together, “c’mon you have to tell me!”

he looks you over once and makes a hmph sound, “why would i tell you?”

you pout

“i know we were rivals for a while, but c’mon - i promise ill put in a good word for you so who is it?”

you step closer and jongho feels his tie get a little tighter

“the new intern? they’re cute - or is it someone older like in the-”

“you”

you stop and buffer - looking at him and for the first time jongho drops his eyes to the floor first

“m-me? you’re coming down here for me? is it because of our riv-”

“no.”

he sets the cup he was holding on the windowsill and suddenly you’re the nervous one

“you’re right. i come here because the person i like on this floor is you.”

he reaches out to touch your wrist but you step back, the confession is too shocking to handle and you scurry off before you can say anything in return

you slide down against the stall of the bathroom and let out the breath you’re holding

its not that you dont like jongho back, actually your whole rivalry was sort of just a cover up for your one-sided feelings

you just never thought that they’d be reciprocated,,,,,,,

you try to pull yourself together - marching out to the sink and looking into your reflection

we cant let jongho win again, he might have confessed first, but your still rivals no matter how much you like each other so just go out there and - and -

you cant think of exactly the word, but before you know it your rushing out and to the stairs

jongho doesnt look too surprised to see you bust into his office - but the rest of the office turns to look at you two

“you-”

“yes?”

“yo-you cant say you like me first, why? well - well because ive liked you longer, so im saying it now. i like you. so i win. no arguing. take me to dinner. bye.”

and with that you turn on your heel, jongho nods - secretly smiling to himself as he puts on his headphones

yunho to mingi: isnt it crazy, jongho just got asked out in front of the whole office!

mingi, blinking: wait what? i thought that person was just mad at him

#ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #members: ateez #sfw #office!au

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legojacques · 6 years

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Kent starts taking a photography class at a community college and ends up meeting a really cute guy there. The cute guy doesn’t know that Kent is a famous hockey player, and over time, starts to think that Kent is part of the mob...

(This was an idea on the Parse Discord that got really long. I want to come back to clean it up and redo it as an actual fic (or ficlet) at some point, but for now, enjoy the ideas that came out of the chat.) (@overheardattheaces)

Under a cut because it’s hella long

Lego: "I started taking a photography class at the community college so I could take really nice pictures of Kit." "Okay...." "But then I met this guy there and he doesn't know who I am and now I'm in too deep." "Why?" "He knows I like hockey. He wants to take me on a date... to a hockey game." "Oh shit." "He know nothing about hockey." "That's really cute." "I know." "You're really screwed, Parse." "I know that too."

Linnea: kent's saved by the fact it's the unlv team and he doesn't have a game that night. they sit towards the back and kent keeps his hat pulled down low

abigail: but what if this guy tries to take kent to an aces game

Tony: i have no idea whats happening but i want the shenanigans that come from "i cant go" "oh, why?" "uh. i have. a thing that night"

Lego: Kent: i work a lot Cute Guy: that's a lot of really weird hours and travelling. (OH SHIT HE'S A HIT MAN)

Tony: knlkdfsnkgjsI WANT THOSE MISUNDERSTANDINGS MORE Cute guy: Oh don't worry I understand. (FUCK I DIDNT THINK HITMEN WERE THIS CUTE)

Lego: Cute guy: I'M LITERALLY DATING AN ASSASSIN BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THE DICK IS TOO GOOD

Linnea: kent's in vegas. he has lots of money. this kid seriously thinks he's stumbled into dating someone in a mafia ring.

Lego: Cute guy: wow how'd you afford this house? kent: oh you know, investments and stuff cute guy: DEFINITELY MOB MONEY

Linnea: cute guy: bites fist investments???????????????????

taggianto: Look it's Vegas. Either he's with the mob or he's a hooker.

Linnea: his friends are like: you're the one who got yourself into this. if you end up buried in the mojave that's your fault.

abigail: im living for this

taggianto: Maybe he's a hooker FOR the mafia

Lego: oh shit. he's the femme fatale. seduce em and then kill em

Linnea: femme fatale kent omg this kid has a new story for his friends every week

Tony: i mean depending on what Kent's into if the cute guy finds something in Kent's closet--

Linnea: and they've seen, like, his fancy car and his shiny watch and the way he always wears sunglasses and hats low so he won't be recognized and he's clearly built..... friend1: you can NEVER break up with him. friend2: and pray he never wants to break up with you. friend3: it was nice knowing ya....

Tony: hfdlfgg why do none of them READ A PAPER

Linnea: they're college kids?

allison (believesinponds): Vegas isn’t a hockey town. Lol

Lego: friend: if they find a body in the dump we'll know it was you

Tony: im crying

Linnea: cute guy: we went to this really vip club over the weekend and they just....waved him right in????

Lego: kent's got access to all sorts of exclusive and hot clubs in town

Linnea: friend: oh shit, he must be connected to the family that runs it

Lego: friend: i heard that some mobsters do all their torturing in the back because the loud music covers up their screams friend: he took you there as a warning

Linnea: kent: so i was watching the news and they said these meteors are supposed to hit next week and be super visible if you can get away from city lights. wanna hit the desert? cute guy: that's it. he's done with me and i'm going to become scorpion food and my mom won't even get to bury me

Lego: lol. imagine the car ride out there. kent: (i'm being so romantic)

Tony: its so t e n s e on one side

Tony: but only ONE SIDE

Lego: cute guy: IM GOING TO DIE

Linnea: kent just wants a romantic date with the perseids

Tony: Kent keeps looking over and smiling

Linnea: they get to the spot and kent reaches behind the seats. cute guy flinches cuz this is it. he's gonna die. but it's a blanket kent: let's get out. get a better view. cute guy: he doesn't want blood in the car. of course.

Lego: cute guy: the blanket is for bundling up my body because it's easier to clean up

Linnea: cute guy: i've seen this csi before

Lego: cute guy: there's no signal on my cell phone

Tony: when you're already at stage 5 of grief, acceptance

Linnea: cute guy: if i at least get one more good lay, it'll be worth it, right?

Lego: cute guy: best dick ive ever had. at least i'll die happy cute guy: maybe cute guy: i hope he chooses something quick and painless

Tony: i mean sometimes, the only way to go, is during Relations™

Lego: so cute guy survives a tense night in the desert. he feels like he passed some kind of test but he's not sure

Linnea: but how does he learn the truth?

Lego: hmmmm....he doesn't.lol, just kidding

Linnea: and how hard does kent laugh when he finds out what cute guy thought? also looool when cg sees scraps

Lego: looooool. one day cute guy bumps into kent and scraps at a restaurant cute guy: okay we at least have it narrowed down to russian mafia

Linnea: scraps is canadian lol

taggianto: Mafia scraaaaaaps

Linnea: lol it's post-game so they're in suits

Lego: Another time cute guy sees Kent with a bunch his teammates. They look like his bodyguards

Tony: I mean is Kent the smallest guy on the Aces You see all these guys in suits that are 6’0-6’5 surrounding this 5’10” dude and literally all you can do is be like what the fuck Anyone with any context is like “oh there’s the Aces” but if you know zero about hockey you’re just like “the mob is here”

Lego: Cute guy: on one hand, that's terrifying because they can break every bone in my body but on the other hand.... Kent looks so good

Linnea: friend: like, at least they won't break every bone in your body without his permission?

Lego: Cute guy: part of me is ready to be mob wife Cute guy: the other part of me is screaming run

Linnea: friend: ignore it. you can't run faster than the mob.

Lego: Cute guy: mob wives always look good though. Like I'm going to need to step up my fashion game. I always wear sweatpants.

Tony: I love that his concern now is his fashion game

Lego: He's seen Kent in his expensive suits. And even Kent's sweatpants are expensive.

gizelle from hell: Kent wears vetements nah jk he probably just has a lot of adidas and rebook gear

nerdflighter: somebody needs to continue this is absolute gold no wait I'll tell you how this guy finds out. this guy's name is,,,,,David. it's David. David eventually realises that Kent loves him for real and is not going to kill him in desert or something like that. and he loves Kent back so when David proposes, his proposal goes something like: "Kent Parson, I've loved you for almost 4 years now. you have an amazing dick, and you're the most handsome, generous, gentle, person I've ever met. even if you're in the mafia, I'd still like to marry you. would you make me the happ–” "you think I'm in the MOB?" [record scratch sound]

abigail: IT GOES ON UNTIL HE PROPOSES I'M DYING

nerdflighter: ME TOO. they have a long sit down conversation about how DAVID THOUGHT KENT WAS IN THE MAFIA. FOR 4 YEARS. WHILE DATING HIM

abigail: oh also, when this guy and his friend's see kent after a rough game, with a swollen eye and cut lip, they are downright terrified, more so than they were before

nerdflighter: David's friend Eliza, drinking Starbucks: could've been worse. for a while there he thought you were a femme fatale

restfulinsomniac: They run into Tater at a bar and David is like “oh my god there’s a scary Russian guy glaring at us this is how it ends I’m just gonna get killed in the crossfire”

nerdflighter: Kent, staring at Eliza: have I seen you before? Eliza is an intern in the PR department and the biggest troll ever

Lego: kent: hey so some the guys wanted to meet you . [nervous laughter] cute guy: oh my god they go to a low key restaurant where everyone is shifty and watching what they say because they've been warned by kent to not reveal his identity cute guy: definitely mafia

abigail: omg what if a fan approaches them when they're out like that

Lego: kent: [panics] [whispers to a teammate] can you take care of it? teammate: distracts the fan but what cute guy sees is the teammate leading the fan out of view somewhere to be "taken care of" at some point, cute guy overhears a conversation between kent and one of his friends kent: i need to tell him the truth. i feel bad lying to him. cute guy: [reveals himself] cute guy: it's okay, kent, i already know kent: omg you do????? how did you figure it out? cute guy: it was so obvious. the money. the hours. the bruising on your knuckles cute guy: i love you anyways kent: aw that's a relief kent now thinks cute guy knows he's a hockey player. cute guy continues on thinking kent is a mobster

nerdflighter: LMAOO. this is exactly why David was still under the impression that Kent is mobster by the time he proposes (does Kent think David has trust issues/an abusive ex bf because of the way he behaves around Kent's teammates?)

Lego: i mean.... if i had to meet a team of huge, hulking, famous hockey players, i'd act shifty af too. also, that's a lot of people to meet in one sitting

Lego: cute guy: so that scraps guy is hit man, right? kent: (aw he's so cute when tries to talk hockey. i think he means defenseman) kent: yes dear

Linnea: kent: he's an enforcer, yeah, but a total sweetheart behind the mask.

Lego: kent: yeah he's a bit of a goon and he hits hard but he's always there when you need him

nerdflighter: scraps, a gentle boi, trying to make nice with David: so, I heard you're in college? David, screaming internally, heard from whom? your "friends"?: yeah, I study microbiology

Linnea: scraps: is that, like? the csi stuff? with blood? david: screaming internally, i promise i will not end up on the opposite side of the law from you no, it's bacteria, viruses, prions, cells. biology on a microscopic level. scraps: are you gonna be a doctor, then? if you do, i'm sure we can find you an opening. david: aaaaaaaaand now i'm going to be a mob wife and a mob doctor x.x

Lego: kent comes home one night with blood all over his clothes (from a bloody nose) cute guy: it's okay. i've been preparing myself for something like this. i know how to remove blood from clothes kent: oh wow that's handy

Linnea: cute guy: or is it better to burn them?

Tony: kent: Do not burn this its Versace i know exactly nothing about fashion ignore me

Lego: cute guy: i also know how clean car interiors too kent: i would never get blood in my car

Lego: cute guy to his friends: it's like he's a really hot james bond villian. he's even got the cat and everything

Lego: cute guy: did you ever have a different vision for yourself? like did you ever imagine you'd ever wind up as a, you know, for a living? kent: i mean, not really. it's what i've dreamed about my whole life cute guy: (WHO DREAMS ABOUT BEING IN THE MAFIA AS A KID???)

abigail: OMG. ON A SADDER NOTE. but what if kent tries to talk about jack to cute guy and he brings up the OD and cute guy is just like "yep his mafia friends couldn't handle this life" or "what if it was planned,,, is someone coming after kenny in that same way"

Lego: kent mentions "bad bob" a couple of times and cute guy thinks that he must be the godfather, mob boss guy. it's a very intimidating name

#kent parson #headcanon #lego writing #mine #and several other wonderful people #parsepositive

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