i aint doing daily journals anymore since i have a horrible memory and physically cannot do habits but i need to write out some of my stressors so maybe i can figure out why i have a cold sore right now my brother moved back into the house and currently my normally orderly and accessible landing outside my room is filled with many, many things he also had some stuff inside my room for some reason people at work are leaving to go open another store so we're going to be what feels like understaffed my legs have been sore for the past 3 months and i have no idea how to get them to feel better ive been gaining weight and i want to either lose it again or move it from my stomach area and more into my upper body. but i dont want to go to a gym so that limits my options for stuff i can never get enough sleep me being on tumblr at 11 when i need to be at work at 6:20 doesnt help with that im still very lonely but thats not new my dad has been recovering from his surgeries very well but unfortunately that means he is much more willing to tell me what i can and cant do even though i am 22 and am not being disrespectful when i do the things he says not to (playing certain video games) (like seriously resident evil 4 isnt that bad) (at least there are no war crimes) (unlike ace combat which you are fine with) my charger is still out of comission but that is also not new the subaru is i think completely fixed until i get the manual transmission installed the z is giving me weird issues with cylinder 1, no matter what i do it misfires and im getting more concerned that i wont be able to find a career. like, i dont want to work 60 hours a week at a car wash. but im not good enough at drawing to get commissions (unless someone proves me wrong) but im also too not bad to just not try anyways i have problems with my life right now and my body is telling me something is wrong

god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

little doodle to celebrate going into 2024!!! 🎉 idk what's coming but may we make the best of it :D

Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*

creatures

okay so i've gotten some help and now i've got the power of gif and gay on my side so. Y'all are doomed 😈

LOOOOOONG time no see I am back from the grave hiatus xDD

Not the comic I've been working on yet, but something else I've had in mind for quiiiite a while. For @shadeofsilentfire as usual haha you're the coolest Shade!!!!!!!

Once again, something for their fanfic. Every time I read it and the characters and narration mentioned the Angel I just couldn't NOT have this pop into my mind it's so so funny to me uejdueieidi

Don't let threats against synagogues scare you out of going. The people making these threats want you to be scared. They want you to be so scared that you don't feel safe living your life as a proud and visible Jew, so scared that you take your menorah out of your window and remove your mezuzah from your doorpost. The more you concede, the more they feel like they're winning and the more emboldened they get.

Now, more than ever, we need Jews to be loud, proud and unapologetic. You should not be afraid to exist as a Jew. Wear your star of David. Wear your kippah. And take pride in who you are and where you come from.

The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

Just thought about sharing this frame right here

Do with it what you will

Something about giant super computers and the concept of being naked

walks into a dead fandom. hello. i have gifts,

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

We need more rep for people like me who have daddy issues but instead of that making me sexually attracted to older men it just makes me empathize with Mark Winters and cry whenever Tide shows up

tapa u havin a existential crisis or somethin?

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?