quick note: if you're turning on build due to the most recent chat leaks, do me a favor and unfollow, then learn critical thinking skills and ask yourself why you're happily playing into the hands of a known liar and abuser.

Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.

I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.

He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.

I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.

When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

Tell us more about sugar daddy James pls 😏

sadie <3

so—this one comes wholesale from a random post i made a while back about sugar daddy james with a huge age gap b/w him and sirius. i’m talking, businessman james who comes into contact with sirius who’s just run away from home and is on the verge of homelessness. it’s about james being nice and kindhearted, offering sirius a meal which somehow turns into a place to stay which somehow turns into the spending a lot of time bonding with each other.

it’s about a little shit sirius who’s deliberately trying to seduce this saint of a man who refuses to look at him twice (spoiler: it’s not because james doesn’t want, it’s because he thinks it’s unethical. sirius is here to put all those worries to rest). just. a lot of back and forth, pushing and pulling, and getting together moments.

at least, that’s how i’d want it done lol

I’m just. So interested in the relationship between grief and trauma and arousal and anger.

I give someone a present

They enjoy it

I get flustered

Now I have to pretend to die

So real

Optimal solution actually

I've been watching Sophomore Year (as I said) and it's really reminding me why I was so glad when we started Junior Year to find out that Kristen and Tracker had broken up, because that entire relationship storyline is so fucking annoying. Like I don't know if I've mentioned or not that I find Kristen really annoying in general, but it turns out Tracker, in conjunction with Kristen, is also annoying.

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

people have assumed i’m queer my entire life, but nowadays i’m getting they/themmed on the regular and it’s fine, but it’s also interesting bc gender has always been the one fundamental aspect of my identity that isn’t constantly misperceived, so now it’s kinda. oh i am just not being Seen at all huh.

A poor man's guide to fucking up

Fucking up is inevitable 👍 yet not many people are aware of how to respond (ideally) in a scenario where they've genuinely made a mistake. Recently my girlfriends (ex girlfriends?) fucked up and hurt me but they get an A for how they're responding so I wanted to go over a list of what they've done right and what they haven't, for your reference and mine

1) they're giving me space to process my feelings- room to be angry and understanding but also physical space. They aren't spam texting me or constantly walking into my room or trying to force me to talk to/spend time with them

2) with that, there's also an acceptance of their responsibility and they're taking the blame with dignity- something that I know from experience hurts like a BITCH and is not something most people I've known are capable of or willing to do. I have mad respect for that

3) they're not trying to force me to do or feel anything I don't want to. They're not trying to manipulate me- not trying to turn me against anyone, force me to forgive them, or ignore what they did. They're not trying to force me to stay in a relationship with them or not be mad at them or hurt by their actions

4) and this is where they lose out on getting an A+ and only get an A -_- they told me the truth (just not at first). Despite being ashamed of it. And at first they did both try to minimize their own blame in the situation but pretty quickly opened up about the reality of it. Now ideally you wouldn't do that at all, you would just tell the whole truth right away but nonetheless, it's impossible to be perfect and I'm not judging them too harshly for this

when people (i am people. it’s me.) imagine Nico having powers over grief i think of Will’s never discussed fatal flaw, and i think that it’s that he can’t let go

i think his flaw is something with grief, and being stuck in the past almost. it’s being stagnant and static and unable to properly have especially negative emotions because he has to be people’s rock. he’s sunshine boy and he’s your doctor. He needs to be reliable, he sees his friends die every day, if he breaks down then nothing is stable anymore, nothing is keeping anything afloat.

but the idea of nico, a son of hades, who’s experienced grief like he has and was unable to move on and unable to do what Will can’t do, helping him come to terms with his loss and to “accept his darkness” like persephone said to him.

A first nudge from nico and some support from Kayla and Austin especially (and maybe Drew, the Stoll’s and Clarisse if you headcannon them as friends) he’s able to to it, he cries over the people he lost and he’s angry and selfish about the fact they’re gone and starts to grieve properly.

He starts to change and starts finding little moments of progress everywhere he looks. even though his demons aren’t little actual creatures following him around unlike his boyfriend, he does start comming to term similarly. He’s begun tearing the walls down and talking and letting himself cry on someone else’s shoulder. he lets go and starts to let himself be not okay.

wow I can't believe ur encouraging cannibalism just for the sake of The Narrative smh my head

For an entire second, i forgot that i asked for anon hate and thought “can’t believe you’re encouraging cannibalism” was unironic lmaooooooo

Honestly tho, this is me with Black Sails… I think they should have done cannibalism in 3x03 simply because it would have been Sexy thematically and made everyone worse. I don’t care about the characters’ psychological well-being whatsoever.

me vibrating about albert meta while having my second coffee of the day, to the tune of shots: thoughts, thoughts, thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts

youtube recommended me a very long analysis video on the dynamic between jimmy and kim and howard and it’s insane 2 me every time bc there were some really good points and then they start talking about how like kim is evil

Do you ever have a memory which sticks with you, and the longer it sits there the worse you feel about it? Yeah. I have one of those that’s been bugging me more and more recently, and I want it to stop souring. I just have no idea how to go about it.