#and godot made me fucking cry
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Late Night Break
tag: @chobitsbunny
pairings- Boss! Godot x Secretary! Fem Reader
summary- You and your boss have a special relationship, but he wants more.
a/n - sorry this is so short. might do a part 2 though
NSFW WARNING:
contains- public sex, oral sex(f! receiving), breeding kink/baby-trapping?
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The flirting between you and Godot was something that almost everyone in the prosecutor's office was aware of, he wasn't exactly subtle about it, not that you mind, you love that he's so interested in you.
The flirting takes on different forms, he would often call you personal nicknames, and whenever the two of you were alone, he would do things such as stroke your hair or caress your arm in a subtle or casual way. Godot knows how to catch your attention, sometimes he'll give you a playful nudge when you're not expecting it. Or give straightforward compliments, like how your hair looks or how your outfit looks.
The fact that you work together, and you being his assistant, didn't stop Godot at all, in fact it kinda made it better for him, as a subtle way to assert his dominance, after all, he makes the rules. Godot doesn't see that you're beneath him, but instead that you're someone who he can do whatever he wants with. It's not really the relationship that the HR department would like to see at work, but the two of you don't really care about that.
As a prosecutor, it's common to work late nights, which is usually when the two of you flirt the most, when all your coworkers are gone and you both realize that you're the only two people left in the office. At this point, no rules apply, he is often more intimate with his flirting. Godot will try to sneak a kiss from time to time, try to hold your hand as you go up the elevator, even try to get you to sit on his lap in his office. You both know that nothing is really off-limits to you when you're alone, and so long as your work is getting done, no one is going to say anything to you about it. Godot may be your superior, but you're still the one he wishes to please most.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
On more than one occasion the two of you have stayed late, just to sneak off together. Taking advantage of the inactive cameras in the break room. Your bare ass propped up on the cool of the oak wood table, pencil skirt pushed up over your hips. Godot's prickly goatee tickling your pussy lips as he devours you. "Moan louder for me, doll," he urges, "just us here. No one'll hear ya'."
"mmn...godot~ don't stop..." you grip the edge of the table, his strength forcing your legs spread so he can taste all of you. Cockily grinning as you mewl his name. Tongue nastily slurping and sucking at your clit, making wet smoochy sounds. Your uncontainable moans and cries going straight to his cock, which was unfathomably tight in his dress pants. Aching to be set free.
When you shakily cum, he doesn't waste a second. Whipping out his hardened need and plunging straight into your sopping wet cunt. The table creaks with each of his forceful thrusts. "Such a good little cocksleeve," he groans, hands gripping your hips, "can't believe I waited this long to try you out..." Pistoning his fat cock up into you with such fervor you can't help but let out choking gasps. Arms wrapping around his shoulders, clinging to him as you cry out begging for more. Only boosting his ego and making him fuck you harder.
Feeling yourself about to cum again already, you try to hold off. But he can feel you clamping down, walls pulsing as you're about to break. Bringing down a hand to palm your clit. "Don't be shy sweetheart, let it all out," he grins smugly, rapidly rubbing you so you can't hold it. Squirting and gushing all over him and the table. "That's a good girl, ready for me?"
"don't cum inside.." you babble, only making him laugh.
He continues, using your sweet hole through and through. "I'll cum where I want, don't order me around sweetheart."
Truthfully, he wasn't all that concerned about the repercussions. If anything, you getting knocked up would only prove you were his. Knowing you'd be carrying his seed made him crazy, he couldn't explain it. Almost like he wanted it to really happen. Not pulling out like you pleaded, he filled you to the brim. His cum spurting deep into your puffy cunt. Drilling every last bit up into you the best he could and holding it there.
He wanted more than just this.
mlist
#godot x reader#ace attorney x reader#phoenix wright ace attorney#diego armando#diego armando x reader#boss x employee#fem reader#smut#fanfiction#drabble#coffee addict#godot x fem reader smut#godot smut
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DGS DLC London Side Part 3
ryuunosuke presents his argument of "the chalice was actually valuable because it's made of silver as seen with my pocketwatch"
what will herlock's argument be i wonderrrrrrr
"The important thing isn't the price, but the memories it contains."
"And that goes double for memories of a failed attempt on one's life with poison."
wait what
VAN ZIEKS REACTED IS HE RIGHT
"That's right. That chalice almost saw Reapy here to an early grave!"
the similarities between godot and van zieks are hilarious
"It was probably arsenic."
"You mean, the stuff that bad guys always use in novels to try to assassinate the king?
"Indeed, I was [a victim of attempted assassination]." oh my god rip van zieks
"This is the man who sniffed that glass over and over and still didn't realize there was tea in there."
"There's no way he'd notice [the scent of arsenic] with a nose that dull!"
i thought sholmes ragging on natsume was harsh but jesus fucking christ van zieks is getting decimated
"It was you. Herlock Sholmes-san!"
I KNEW IT
"What?! Why me?!"
"But now that you mention it, I came to have some fun at the Prosecutor's Office and peeked in on Reapy's office."
"have some fun" what does that mean. i know what you are
"Now, now, I'm a busy man after all, you see. I completely forgot it until just now."
dgs the first game where the defense attorney is guilty instead of the prosecution or a witness or probably the judge at some point
"Very well. I was just starting to get into a chatty mood!" i love this man so much
his fucking explanation im crying
he tried to save barok (or. rather himself) and dumped the contents of the bottle out the window because he thought it contained arsenic because the silver was black
god
"It was 10-day old tea, after all. Of course it tasted awful!"
he thought he'd shine it up for barok help
"I will fight fair in all things. And my taste in chalices reflects that resolve." i was not expecting barok lore but that is. hm. barok if someone coats your chalice with arsenic i don't think that's a fair fight on your end
Herlock: "After bringing [your silver chalice] home with me, I did a thorough investigation of it on my own."
Barok: "What...?"
"It ended up being quite difficult, you see. I had to lift ten years worth of fingerprints from [your silver chalice] and analyze them."
oh my god was the criminal he caught prior to the trial the one who poisoned barok all those years ago???? that's so romantic actually
"Yes, it took longer than expected, but...this morning, I caught the criminal responsible. It was a Mister Devin Musgrave."
i'm a dumbass i didnt know devil-may-care meant cheerful and reckless so i thought it was either referring to barok being a "devil" that may care or herlock being the "devil" that may care
"But why on earth did you...?"
because he loves you barok (if this was a romance)
he's probably gonna say he was just curious or bored or wanted the reaper to be indebted to him or something and does not deserve my freaking out about vanlock canon but fuck it vanlock canon
i think i actually managed to wrangle a semi-accurate translation out of google translate for once, despite all those kanji definitely not being in the original text
"I said it before, did I not?" that i love you barok
that pause broooooooooooooo
"I couldn't help being bothered by the tarnish on the silver and figured I'd shine it up for you."
"Sholmes-san..."
me n ryuunosuke have the same look rn WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SHOLMES
even ryuu can tell something is up and the fandom always portrays kazuma as the one supremely down bad for ryuunosuke's dumbass so you KNOW sholmes isnt being subtle
even van ZIEKS is speechless. he's blushing on the inside i know he is because i'm his jabot thing. like "omg you jailed my almost-assassin for me??? you shouldn't have!"
this is supremely funny to me i wasnt actually expecting any substantial vanlock content i thought it'd just be them being annoying towards each other
Barok: "If I drop the charges, that will be the end of [this trial]." awwwwww
"I am terribly sorry for the injustice I have done you, [Iris]."
"Please, forgive me."
Iris: "On one condition!"
Barok: "Condition?"
Iris: "You have a second lord's bottle there. If you just take care of it, I'll forgive you!"
Barok: "What do you mean, 'take care of it?'"
Herlock: "You never learn, do you, Reapy?"
Barok: "What??"
(can you tell im tired of taking screenshots again)
"Times like these are the best for enjoying a sip!"
what are they plotting
wait the bottle's empty
am i stupid i dont get what iris or sholmes mean
Ryuunosuke: "With Prosecutor Van Zieks continually cocking his head..." oh good im not the only one who doesnt get it lmAOO
Ryuunosuke: "[Iris], You really did enter his office three days ago, didn't you?" oh does that have to do with what they're talking about
"What exactly was the story behind that Lord's Bottle?"
"Happy Birthday!"
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
that's so cute holy shit is that why they decided to do nice things for him
barok looks like he cant remember the last time someone's wished him a happy birthday help
Iris: "I calculated how many bottles Van Zieks would throw over the course of these past three days..."
"...and made my choice so that he'd pick up that bottle on his birthday trial!"
"Reapy always looks so lonely by himself, you see." so he should date herlock that's what you're saying right
calling barok lonely on his birthday help
NO WHAT DID I REACH THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT ALREADY LMFAOOO
that's so funny holy shit okok i wont take any more pictures
NEVER MIND I HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE im deleting one of the previous ones
"You promised me that you'll take good care of Van Zieks-kun!" oh my GOD IT'S NYAN ZIEKS
THATS SO FUCKING CUTEAJGDSKJAHSGKDJKHGJSJH AAAAAHAHHHGHDFJKGJDKHGHJSJHK NYAN ZIEKS IS CANON NOW
Sholmes: Any objections, Reapy?
Barok: No, none in particular. ...pardon me. I need to return to the prosecutor's office.
listen to me barok is absolutely melting inside he is CRYING right now do you hear me (and so am i this was so unexpectedly cute what the fuck literally shaking n crying rn)
(source: x)
#dai gyakuten saiban#the great ace attorney#dgs#tgaa#iris wilson#barok van zieks#herlock sholmes#ryuunosuke naruhodou#vanlock#sobbing shaking crying right now
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(Sorry if this ask comes out as rude, you can ignore this if it feels too weird or personal or something)
Just saw your “please stop hating on my comfort character on my posts” post and i gotta say that i could relate (well, not really on my posts, but more like in the character’s tags itself)
Honestly i felt sad whenever i went to my comfort character’s tag bc there’s just SO MUCH hate for them, and it sucks (i’m not specifying which character it is, but they’re also from aa)
Anyway that’s all. I really hope the Manfred hate on your posts finally goes away, ty for listening and have a nice day btw
ITS SO ANNOYING honestly i have just stopped checking the notes on my posts about him but that isn't enough because if i go into his tag people tag their hate SO much like not even the search the TAG they will write their whole ass dissertation on why he's the worst and TAG IT like why are you putting this in the TAG WHERE PEOPLE WHO LIKE HIM GO????
i had no idea people could be so fucking rude and virulent over fictional characters i even saw someone in the tags shitting on ppl who like him and people who are kin with him and it made me so fucking violent like how poisoned by the internet do you have to be to think what fictional characters someone is attuned to is a moral judgement. hello. all my manfred kinnie friend does is make dad jokes at me and draw pretty art and cry over pictures of seals like full on sobbing in the voice call it's modern poetry i think.
i know godot likers and kristoph likers and blaise likers and they are honestly so fucking kind to me, there is something about being in the AA fandom and getting attached to absolute bastards that just. holds us together. i am glad we all have each other. am here for my motherfuckers with scummy blorbos. and i do have my discord server who i have infected with papa brainrot so i'm not completely alone
could be worse ig his tag could be full of people loudly thirsting after him. i feel like if i wish for a more positive tag the monkey's paw might curl in jksfdghsjldgdf
#wendy rambles#anonymous#never going to rid myself of the image of him with an 8 pack#that started the fucking. first ever UTIL objection.lol#was that real. that feels like a nightmare#this other manfred liker i follow apparently gets so many of the thirst comments in their tags#maybe things are better this way
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1 11 45 63 88?
TYSM !!
1. Favourite Attorney?
apollo justice!!! hes just a little guy. 2 molecules tall even. and i would do anything for him
11. Least favorite trial?
ok not to overthink this but idk if this means overall case or trials within the cases? if it means overall case: turnabout big top (shocker!), i had to skip the entirety of it due to its content. if it means actual trials: the trial for rise to the ashes. it took way too long and was so overwhelming i don't think i'll ever have the guts to replay it
45. Someone who would’ve made a fun prosecutor but isn’t?
OH THIS IS FUN!! personally i would have loved to see a diego armando prosecutor moment prior to the poisoning... i would have loved to see the difference between diego and the aftermath into godot as a prosecutor standpoint instead of defense
63. Favourite quote?
not to be a basic godot lover but. when he says this: "The only time a lawyer can cry is when it’s all over." like YEAH I KNOW its such a common quote but you won't believe how much that line of dialogue fucked me up and changed me for a while esp with what was happening during that case. absolutely amazing
88. You have to rob a bank. Which 2 characters do you choose as your partners in crime?
i only need klavier. he will charm the bankers to give us the money for free
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Ace Attorney is an amazing fandom filled with gorgeous genius content that I will never be able to fully appreciate because my brain chose to lazer focus on not one not two but THREE problamatic faves :’)
#ace attorney#larry butz#dahlia hawthorne#aa godot#diego armando#aa1#aa3#trials and tribulations#midnight draws#Honestly i WISH i was joking#but no i absolutly love these three#ill see cool art and fics and go wheres larry :(#dahlia is the girlboss of my dreams i love her so much#and godot made me fucking cry#the qurstion is is my taste terrible or is my brain huge actually#the world may never know#this is a weird way of complaining but i just love these three#bummed theres so much good content i cant enjoy cause of my tastes#also i know larry technically isnt a problematic fave but honestly 90% of the fandom hates or ignores him so i think its justified
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more of these bc fuck u. also i think klavier is actually german.
id under cut
IMAGE DESCRIPTION
a collection of images, screenshots of popular tumblr posts with images of ace attorney characters overlayed to suggest it’s the characters who made the posts
in the first image, ema skye is saying “you people can’t be crying about blonde blue eyed men” with a low-opacity image of klavier gavin suggesting that she’s talking about him as he is blonde and blue-eyed. trucy wright replies with “naruto means everything to us” to which ema responds “ok sorry carry on”
in the second image, klavier, clearly in distress says “oh gods my boyfriend isn't home and I forget the english word for this thing and it's bAD he usually helps but i CANT”. athena replies “I WILL ASSIST?”. klavier says “you know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it hasa home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big for it?? what is it???” athena suggests “Hermit crab??” and klavier triumphantly exclaims “THAT'S THE BITCH” in bold and italics
in the third image, it reads “someone: oh god. how are you coping with that. me: i’m not. i’m not coping.” with a distraught picture of klavier
in the fourth image, klavier says “die girlies reading this” with an emoji of a blushing face surrounded by love hearts. he replies to himself “oh my god I meant in a german accent I did not mean to wish death upon girlies”. franziska von karma replies “The girlies reading this post” with a picture of a skeleton exploding
in the fifth image, godot posts a picture of a coffee machine fastened to the dashboard of a car. the caption is “Hertella Auto Kaffeemachine. This Dash-Mounted Coffee Maker Is Likely the Rarest Volkswagen Accessory.” franziska replies “Getting into a KarAkciddent and splashing 3 cups of FükkenScälden all over myself”
in the sixth image, maya fey says “if she's your girl why is she infiltrating area 51 with me”. kay faraday responds “Because our relationship is good like that. Because l love her, but don't need to be by her side every minute. Because she's a healthy, well rounded, person with her own separate interests, that I fully support but don't need to take part in.” to which maya says “thanks for respecting women bro”
in the seventh image, klavier gavin says “vagueposting about people but in approval”. he replies to himself with “some of yall are so0o big brained and articulate and always correct and sexy. not saying who tho”. a picture of a blushing apollo justice indicates that klavier is talking about him.
in the eighth image, ema posts a picture of a white robotic lobster, captioned simply “robot lobster”. a confused trucy asks “why” and pearl fey responds “robster”
#ace attorney#ema skye#klavier gavin#trucy wright#athena cykes#franziska von karma#godot#diego armando#maya fey#kay faraday#apollo justice#pearl fey#klapollo#aa text posts
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godot for the ask game
thank u for the ask! he is one of my favorite characters i love him
favorite thing about them: the fact that hes SO. GODDAMN. WEIRD. edgeworth and franziska are over the top yet understandable characters then you meet godot and have literally no idea what his fucking deal is. he'll just casually say the wildest things and you have to just accept them. hes so funny.
least favorite thing about them: hmmmm probably. how he handled the final plan to protect maya. like it's really good plot and character writing but it makes me so mad at him that he didn't tell maya what was going to happen...didn't make an effort to get the police involved...real smooth brain moment.
favorite line: HOW DO I CHOOSE. GODOT HAS LIKE THE BEST DIALOGUE IN THE SERIES. this man has some RAW ASS LINES. but when he said "Trite... No... Wright" i like. combusted. same when phoenix drank the coffee. in terms of prosecutor reconciliations godot's honestly hits harder than fucking edgeworth's for me. also when he calls ron delite a poor little meow meow. also "The weak get washed away by the tides of fate; the strong simply drink it up" like why does he have such raw ass lines
brOTP: godot and phoenix NEED to be besties omg. they need to OTP: miego makes me cry and sob and throw things every time i think about it....they deserved to be happy together
nOTP: ehhh i mean the only ships i see for godot are godot/mia and godot/phoenix, both of which are quality pairings. i guess godot/franziska, ive seen content for it and do not vibe
random headcanon: new laws are made around murders involving channeled spirits, resulting in early release for iris and godot. their parole officer is the former keyboard player of the gavinners
unpopular opinion: in terms of raw negative effect on the lives of others and disregard of courtroom ethics, edgeworth and franziska are doing way worse than godot. he's the least problematic trilogy prosecutor.
song i associate with them: gonna give a few here. inevitably im gonna think of a better answer once i post this but. the romeo and juliet cover by the indigo girls...everybody lost somebody by bleachers...coffee by jack stauber's micropop ofc...dying in la by p!atd...(i need to make a playlist for this man fr)
favorite picture of them: this sprite....sexxy
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Now that 2022 is nearly here and I don’t think anything new that is going to drastically affect me in the next few days will occur, I guess it’s time to call out who helped me survive this year.
SURPRISE THERE ARE ACTUALLY PEOPLE ON THE LIST THIS YEAR
@majimasleftasscheek - The Fic about Majima fucking a cheeseburger should be on the New York Times best seller list. Also your art is adorable
@zoetheduckling I have never spoken to you but your art is awesome.
@bolontiku thanks for checking in on me
@maryellencarter & @mothnem for always liking my stuff no matter how trash it is.
I don’t remember their username but that one Yakuza blog who has an undying love for Okudera from Yakuza is gorgeous, please do not stop doing what you’re doing.
The majority of the Lupin the Third community for being accepting to my shenanigans and to the Ace Ace Attorney community liking my trashy screenshot content of gay lawyers.
As well as everyone else I forgot/didn’t list who I thought you were cool
With this in mind, these people as well as people in my real life, made me realize that I have unknown friends in places, I was just caught up in my own fantasy worlds and after a fallout with a group of unnamed people, it made me realize that I had to stop writing roleplays officially.
Stephen oh Stephen, you were my world for many years and kept me going, but the writing was on the wall when I began to diverge into other things that my passion for almost 7 years became an obsession. You were the heaviest chain I had to break when moving forward in life after the way 2021 had begun for me because I was so blinded by grief, depression, and rage that you still kept putting me down.
After playing FFVII remake and seeing the nature of Sephiroth, I threw you in the dumpster and began a new journey.
If you look deep enough into this blog I did delete a LOT of my old stuff, but the things I actually enjoyed reading they are there, buried for anyone’s reading pleasure. I am still planning to watch Multiverse of Madness because I want to see this through to the end of the line. It’s been a good run, my friend, but this is where we depart.
ALL THE LAWYERS
Listen- I called the Judgement sequel. Even though I played the first Ace Attorney at the end of 2020, I played (and have still yet to finish a few games) in 2021 and a lot of them were emotional and made me cry. Godot hit the hardest. Like have you HEARD his THEME???? https://youtu.be/34Zh0a08Gq8
youtube
IT’S SEX IN A COFFEE MUG
And I enjoyed my time with the Judgement sequel, despite its controversy. Even though at times I wanted to bang my head against the wall, Yagami carried himself well as being the voice of reason while still being able to have emotional depth. His rivalry with Kuwana was really a Holmes vs. Moriarty vibe
SPEAKING OF WHICH
If I had a nickel for the amount of times Sherlock Holmes was relevant in 2021, I would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but weird it happened twice
Kind of funny that these two stories kind of had the same plot where Watson died and left behind a daughter.
I could not have played Ace Attorney Chronicles if it was not for Holmes (Sholmes). It was boring as all heck.
This is Part 1 of my 2021 wrap up cause I am out of picture uploads
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The Unfinished Dialogues of Smith and Doe
Act One, Scene One
[Setting: A desk and typewriter take center stage alongside two chairs: a desk chair and a dining room chair. There are several reams of paper in a stack beside the desk, novels next to said papers in a stack. They are the novels of the two authors sitting in the chairs, although the names of the authors on the books are different. The trash basket is overflowing with crumpled and ripped sheets of paper stained with ink. The two authors sit in silence staring at the typewriter.]
Smith: We have to write something
Doe: But what?
Smith: Something.
[Doe starts to type]
Smith: No.
Doe: Why not?
Smith: Not enough depth.
Doe: Perhaps.
Smith: What about us?
Doe: What?
Smith: What if we wrote about us?
Doe: I suppose.
[Doe rips the paper from the typewriter and insert a clean sheet and types for a moment]
Doe: How does this work?
Smith: Not terribly hard.
Doe: How should we continue?
Smith: We can just talk until we think of something. Let’s just give it a rest for a moment.
[Beat]
[Doe starts to type again]
Doe: Why haven't we tried technical writing?
Smith: It's inherently boring, besides we’re paperback writers, not academics.
Doe: Right but-
Smith: But what?
Doe: Couldn't we do some technical writing about writing? Like how to write a book or something?
Smith: Like a guide?
Doe: Something like that, yes.
Smith: Pass.
Doe: Why?
Smith: I hated them in school.
Doe: Like you even read them.
Smith: I did read them, I just, never got it.
Doe: Got what?
Smith: I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s hypocritical to tell someone how to write?
[Doe sighs and looks at Smith with annoyance]
Doe: We’ll talk about this later.
[the scene goes dark and the sound of the typewriter keys fills the air]
Act One, Scene Two
[The lights turn back on, Doe and Smith are sweaty and disheveled. Ink smears both of their palms from mishandled ink ribbons]
Doe: Perhaps we could take a break?
Smith: No.
Doe: Please?
Smith: We said we would work on something until we made something.
Doe: Could we not write half of something down and call it a day?
Smith: You would write ‘something’ and leave.
Doe: Not true! We just need to put anything on this paper and we can leave, right?
[Smith sighs.]
Smith: Yes.
[Doe puts a clean sheet into the typewriter and types “anything”; they then look at each other and laugh after a comedic pause]
[Some time passes; this is marked by the clock in the room speeding up and the sound of a grandfather clock chiming]
Doe: Why did we become authors in the first place?
Smith: We had a good idea for a book.
Doe: Ideas, you mean.
Smith: Well, idea. Singular.
Doe: We have a few good books, don’t lie to the audience.
[Doe gestures to the right wall]
Smith: Our first was the only good one.
Doe: They all sold well! We even got that big newspaper to promote us several times!
Smith: You know our publicist bought that endorsement, right? Besides, how can you trust the invisible hand to pick a decent apple?
Doe: Why are you so cynical?
Smith: That’s just how I was raised!
Doe: That's a lazy reason, you know. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but it doesn’t have to try and grow the same branches.
Smith: Oh, fuck off.
Doe: Just think about it!
Smith: It’s because my life was shitty growing up.
Doe: You can tell me about it.
Smith: Choke on your tongue.
[They take turns typing some more, the lights turn off and on shortly afterwards to indicate the passage of time.]
Doe: Is there any future in fictional writing?
Smith: Probably not.
Doe: Why do you say that?
Smith: You tell me a good plot for a fictional story that’s worth reading. I mean realistic fiction, not some high fantasy shit like we watched in college while we were stoned out of our minds.
Doe: Alright.
[Doe pauses]
Doe: The internet is rather new, what if we wrote a book that takes place entirely over AOL instant messaging?
Smith: AIM? Jesus Christ, you’re out of touch.
[They both look at the typewriter, and give a comedic pauses as if to make a joke that would not land]
Doe: You’re no help, give me a plot then.
Smith: I don’t have one! That’s why I’m asking you.
Doe: Fine, fine… What about: two people. And they do nothing but talk for the entire time.
Smith: Isn’t that “Waiting for Godot”?
Doe: Perhaps.
Smith: We aren’t playwrights.
Doe: I know that! You asked for a plot and I gave you one.
Smith: And it’s a shitty one at that.
Doe: Hey! It’s not that bad!
Smith: You call this good writing then?
[Smith gestures to their dialogue.]
[They give each other a look, as if they understand they are actors.]
Doe: Anyway.
Smith: Have we discussed philosophy yet?
Doe: Probably not. We save that for last when we’re bored.
Smith: Then what should we talk about
Doe: The philosophy of language?
Smith: Why?
Doe: We’re authors.
[Both of them glance at the back wall, where both of their diplomas hang in frames.]
Smith: Oh. right.
[Scene fades to black]
Act One, Scene Three
[Scene lights turn on]
Doe: Should we quit at this point?
Smith: No.
Doe: Why?
Smith: We’re writing something.
Doe: But shouldn't we quit being authors?
Smith: Are we really authors?
Doe: Explain.
Smith: How can someone really write for a living?
Doe: Isn't that what we’re doing? I mean, look at this office we have!
[Doe gestures to the stage setting. A ceiling tile comedically falls onto the stage from the rafters. Neither of them acknowledge it.]
Smith: We have it for a month. Besides a well-selling novel doesn’t mean they’re any good, and it doesn’t make us good authors either.
Doe: Stop being a pedant, let’s just write this book.
[Some time passes]
Doe: Why did we become authors?
Smith: We went over this already.
Doe: I meant why did we, as two people become authors.
Smith: Why do you ask?
Doe: I thought we hated each other!
Smith: So do other people.
Doe: Does everyone hate everyone, too?
Smith: Maybe, I’m not a psychologist.
Doe: So we do hate each other, then?
[The scene fades to black; when the lights turn on they are wearing different clothes and the trash is mostly cleaned up.]
Doe: It's been three weeks.
Smith: So?
Doe: All of our other books took days.
Smith: We can take our time.
Doe: Aren't we on the clock?
Smith: That would be a terrible foundation.
[Neither of them laugh]
[Beat]
Doe: I need a smoke.
Smith: You never smoke.
Doe: Like you even know me.
Smith: I do. I know how you smell, too.
Doe: We don't even like each other.
Smith: I never said that!
Doe: You never not said it!
[Doe looks at the shortened stack of reams]
Doe: We've gone through too much paper.
Smith: Not true.
Doe: It's a lot of reams to go through in a few days.
Smith: I think that’s a bit subjective.
Doe: There's nothing on these sheets anyway.
Smith: You just don't see it, that’s all. We just have to write it.
Doe: Is this your philosophy minor bullshit?
[A moment of silence]
Doe: I hate you. You are killing me.
[Doe puts in a clean sheet of paper.]
Doe: Could we write about language?
Smith: We did this bit already.
Doe: Why?
Smith: We’re not linguists.
Doe: We’re authors though.
Smith: Like that gives us authority over language.
Doe: It could.
Smith: Like hell it ‘could’.
[Smith quiets down as Doe tries to write. Smith wipes their eyes with their sleeve.]
Doe: Your eyes are bloodshot.
Smith: I'm tired.
Doe: You're crying, what's wrong?
Smith: Fuck off.
Doe: Please.
Smith: Fuck off please.
Doe: You know what I meant.
Smith: I'm a failed author.
Doe: You're not.
Smith: I've never written anything good.
Doe: Yes we have.
Smith: Just keep writing.
[Beat]
Doe: Propose...
Smith: Yes?
Doe: Propose we actually make it with this story. Like ‘own a beach house on a Caribbean island’ make it.
Smith: Okay.
Doe: What would we do afterwards?
Smith: Besides being modern-day colonists, we would continue writing.
Doe: But why?
Smith: We're authors.
Doe: But isn't there more to than just being authors?
Smith: Is there?
Doe: I'm not sure.
[Beat]
Doe: So letter and letter.
Smith: Yes?
Doe: There is a letter as in one you send to a friend and a letter that makes up words.
Smith: Okay.
Doe: Isn't it funny how one letter is necessary for the other.
Smith: Explain.
Doe: The letter for the mail is a collection of words which in itself is a collection of letters.
Smith: Huh.
Doe: Language is a strange thing.
Smith: What if I sent a letter consisting only of punctuation.
Doe: I suppose it is still a letter.
Smith: But you said letters necessitate the use of letters.
Doe: How can something necessitate itself?
[Smith sighs out of frustration]
Doe: You’re no fun.
Act One, Scene Four
[It is a different day. Today is the day they will finish their book. Smith and Doe are in different clothes. Two coats hang on the coat rack by the door. There is a brown bottle, a whisky tumbler, and a tall glass beside the typewriter. Throughout the scene, Smith and Doe drink from these containers and alternate between them.]
Smith: Hmm…
Doe: Yes?
Smith: Is it moral of me to have published work that I was not proud of?
Doe: Why wouldn't it be?
Smith: Is it not immoral to be disingenuous to yourself and your readers?
Doe: Yourself, yes.
Smith: But the readers?
Doe: It is neither moral nor immoral.
Smith: How so?
Doe: Just because you cannot be proud of something, does not mean others cannot enjoy it.
Smith: Yes but-
Doe: There is a distinction between the artist and his viewers, the author and her readers.
Smith: I suppose.
Doe: Therefore it cannot be a dilemma of morals of others just because you face one yourself.
[Doe shows Smith the other a small pile of typed papers; they take a minute to read it]
Doe: Well?
Smith: Your character...
Doe: What about my character?
Smith: They're too rational.
Doe: Are we not rational beings?
Smith: We are irrational beings.
Doe: But it is ideal to be rational.
Smith: Yes.
Doe: Then why is being too rational a bad character trait?
Smith: Because art imitates life.
Doe: So shouldn't ideal art imitate ideal life?
Smith: Yes.
Doe: Then why not write ideal people?
Smith: Doesn’t sell well.
Doe: But I mean, is it not our duty as authors to display morality in its best, to write story arcs and characters that show the best that humanity has to offer?
Smith: You sound like that German philosopher.
Doe: There’s a few, which?
Smith: I don’t know, the one with nationalist and racist ideals.
Doe: That could be any of them!
[Pause for comedic effect, but don’t laugh]
Smith: Anyway…
Doe: Yes?
Smith: Maybe we should scrap this? Start over?
Doe: What are you talking about! We’re almost done with this!
Smith: I know, I know.
[Beat]
Smith: I like it here, you know.
Doe: You could move here.
Smith: Yeah but… It wouldn’t be the same.
Doe: The same? The same as what? You hate the city, you always complain about it.
Smith: Well, you wouldn’t be here.
[Doe smiles at them]
Doe: Let’s just finish then, we’ll talk about it on the train back.
Smith: Let’s talk about it now.
Doe: Smith…
Smith: It would be nice here, both of us. We could be neighbors!
Doe: I don’t know. I have roots back home.
Smith: You mean your family? You talk so much about how much they hate you.
Doe: I know, but I just… can’t leave them.
Smith: Yes, you can.
Doe: I can’t.
[Beat]
Doe: You wouldn’t understand.
Smith: Perhaps. But you would be happier outside of the house, wouldn’t you?
Doe: I guess, yeah.
Smith: You can move them here. You can spend all your time at my place.
Doe: I’ll think about it, alright?
Smith: Fine with me.
Doe: Let’s just finish this.
[The authors take turns on the typewriter for a moment. The church bells ring out twice. The clock on the wall shows an improbable time.]
Doe: I think that’s it.
Smith: Yeah?
Doe: Yeah.
Smith: We need a title, though.
Doe: Oh yes, hm…
Smith: ‘The Dialogues’
Doe: What, like Plato?
Smith: I guess, yeah.
Doe: Fine with me.
[Doe puts a blank sheet of paper in the typewriter and types the title onto it.]
Doe: What will our names be this time?
Smith: What about-
[Behind stage, there will be a brief moment of static, so the audience cannot hear what
Smith chooses to be their names.]
Doe: Alright.
[Doe types their names onto the cover page.]
Doe: That’s it. We’re done.
[Both authors get up and begin to pack. Doe collects a stack of papers, the manuscript, and places it into a briefcase. Smith puts the typewriter inside its case. Both walk to the door and put their coats on and look around the office.]
Smith: I don’t really know what to say.
Doe: Don’t say anything then.
Smith: Alright.
[Both exit stage right and the lights turn off. End scene.]
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Hi hi hello hey for the ask game what do you think about uhhhhh *checks pockets* miego n franmaya? Have epic day :-)
miego: very cute and also a shakespeare-level tragedy (you go into a coma for FIVE WHOLE YEARS and when you wake up every vestige of the life you knew is gone and your girlfriend was murdered. fuck.) i rewatched my favorite letsplay of t&t not too long ago and as a godot liker who wants to sit down with the localization team of t&t and ask them what the fuck they were doing, the end of turnabout beginnings made me tear up a bit. i do cry really easily tho im like college phoenix in that regard. ANYWAY im wildly off topic but i like them
franmaya: LISTEN okay its been kinda dead on the ground for a while over here BUT i think about them a lot. in a number of ways theyre foils!!! the similar themes of overwhelming responsibility for a legacy theyre not sure they even want (kurain masterhood, von karma legacy), the way their personalities kind of balance each other out, i'm not making much sense but i think theyre great together
thank you for the ask and have an epic day as well!!
#ask game#turnabout originals#on an unrelated note i was on reddit the other day (i know but hear me out) and came across an askreddit thread abt long term comas#the consensus from a bunch of redditors is that even a short coma fucks you up. like very often you still have to relearn how to walk#so like. youre in a coma for FIVE YEARS. god i wonder how much of coma recovery godot went through thinking mia was still alive#like motivating himself thinking about her. thinking about talking to her again trying to rebuild his life#and then its like......fuck. okay what now#on another completely unrelated note i was trying to figure out roughly how the mask works. see red is the lowest wavelength of light#(thats why its the only color of light you can have in a darkroom if youre developing photos. im smart im artsy i know things)#so if the poison fucked up godots nerves (more probable than the rods and cones themselves?) red might be the light color easiest on the ey#*eyes. everything would be in redscale (greyscale but red? is that a thing?) as it seems to be in canon#the mask itself seems to be pretty retrofuturistic. like a lil bit 60s scifi but also a lil bit modern scifi#i pulled up the sprite sheets on the wiki and from what i can tell it seems to be connected to his face directly?#idk where im going with this but there's probably some kind of chip or implant or something that allows him to use the visor#^ forget what i said up there abt the rods and cones. im a lit nerd raised by two english majors im no scientist#who knows. anyway the mask itself seems to shift the intensity of its light depending on light levels?#COMPLETELY ignoring the bits where his mask fuckin explodes because idk how that works and it worries me#like i said im a lit student!!! i dont know what im talking abt i just like to overanalyze!#augh i am So sorry i didnt mean to write a novel in the tags#toadstoolillustrations
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2021 is coming and i just, wanted to sort out my year and be emotional AIGHT
for this year ive gotten and gotten out of a shit ton of fandoms but they all fucking doused all their serotonin right into my heart
im so so so glad that i met so many amazing people on discord and tumblr and i cannot express how much i love you guys as well
- Osu!
Might be the least significant fandom but i am still such a big fan on it. i love the memes i love the top players and i love the people that do documentaries, a simple rhythm game that made me realized that yeah maybe i am a bit competative, and also one of the reasons why i got the tablet and i cant stop USING IT. i might not be grinding pp as hard as i should but i feel like it still deserves a spot
- MCYT
it was probably the fandom that me and cryp and thread bonded over on and i cannot thank it enough, i might not be too big on the whole smp nor do i follow most of them (only hermit craft but shh) but i cannot like express how much i love it still, techno inspired me to try and challenge myself in minecraft and dream made me want to start speedrunning (if my crappy ass computer allows it) and grian was the one that made me interested in survival again. and i am still a big ass fan of minecraft and im so glad i got into it again
- Danganronpa
OH GOD DANGANRONPA cant believe i actually got into it. it helped me get so many friends and i cannot thank that enough, im really grateful that it introduced me to so many wonderful people and such a colourful cast, even if the themes are dark. and i cant express how much i love fucking egg boi and panta cause they're just such big dumbasses and i love them to bits. other characters as well, they're all so unique and inspired me so much and i am still a fan of it, and i hope it stays that way. ALSO THANKS FOR THE PERMANENT HOPE DESPAIR PTSD
- Henry stickmin
GOd i remember LOVING the series as a kid and growing up watching people play the whole thing and complete the missions is just so AMAZING. thinking about it still makes me tear up a little. I LOVE ALL THE CHARACTERS, theyre so wonderful and amazing and charles has been such a big ass comfort character to me, and probably the one that prompted my artstyle change honestly cause i was just brainrotting and drawing him for ages LMFAO but i am still so so grateful that i got into it and yes valiant hero still makes me cry alright shush
- Ace attorney
starting out the year with gay lawyers only to come back with gayer lawyer energies. I CANNOT THANK ACE ATTORNEY ENOUGH HONESTLY, it has such a big ass place in my heart and im so glad i found the series, even if i dont like the direction DD and SoJ took, i am still a big fan of the series. i love phoenix i love edgeworth i love maya i love franziska i love godot i love pearls i love mia and i can go on for HOURS how ace attorney made them such fantastic colourful characters and i wouldnt mind an hour long rant on ALL of them you bet that. it helped me come to terms with that HM, maybe self-insert characters arent that cringey and inspired me for so many times, and they're basically a comfort game SLMDGSLGD
they all mean SO SO SO MUCH to me and im so glad i get to share my brainrot with friends this year instead of closeting it all to my heart, its so nice to talk to people that have the same interest and i met so many friends in the same time
and for the piss household (yes thats what im calling it now) (FUCKIGN JOIN @despairinglyhopeful‘s server RIGHT NOW)(shhhh also this idea was inspired by Koma i adore yoou so much youre such a big inspiration to me hngnshnngh) : I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. i love that we can talk about whatevers on our mind, i love that we can spout out brain rots together, i love that we can experience something new together. and you all inspire me so so much and i appreciate all of you too <3
“centipedes in my vagina? “FREE PC CHECK”“ check your dms :flushed:
#getting emotional up in here?#brainrot territory#im not sure if i want this to be on my main or my alt but i'll decide that later
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So I watched Wonder Woman 1984...
So not gonna lie, I have a weakness for female-led superhero movies and I really liked the first one, so I was geared up to like this movie at least as a story. I really thought I’d at least find it fun. Dunno if this is a hot take but it was.... it was so bad. It was narratively so bad.
I’m not going to talk about the racism bc like it was 1. Super clear, nice job jumping to the weird emir dude using the word Heathen then um saving little brown kids with a missile, we get it. 2. Other people have done it better than me.
So... as a narrative. What the fuck was going on in this movie? I have a number of points that confused me. They’re not in any order. Spoilers under the cut.
1. If you’re going to use magic as a plot, you need to like explain the magic??? Tell me the rules? Let me see it. What are the parameters. Stop making me try to figure it out during your bad chaotic scenes?
2. There’s magic??? Why can’t Steve just come back? Why is he possessing a random dude? So we aren’t going to touch Wonder Woman sleeping with Steve while he’s possessing a random guy? No? That’s fine? Oh she gets a meet-cute with the random possession victim at the end? Ok.
3. Why does Wonder Woman lose every fight she’s in? That sucks.
4. You can’t just..... tell me the villain was abused as a kid at the very end and like expect I’ll care. I also don’t care about him being a good dad? You never showed me anything to make me care about him? He started as an oil tycoon then became a con-man then became crazy IMMEDIATELY. Oh so...we aren’t going to like build up his megalomania? Nah, don’t worry about it, just make him crazy then show me a random kid and then like his dirtbag dad then give him zero consequences for his actions ok.
5. Oh Barbara. Oh my dear Barbara, you have the coolest look at the beginning and then like clearly go on a date with Gal Godot, the hottest woman alive, then you get saved by her from a like super creep who attacks you. Ok so I liked it through there. Then she wishes for super powers and beats the shit out of her attacker. stg this is the best part of the movie, get him. Kick his fucking ass. Oh then she’s narratively punished for that bc shes... going evil? Then she gets half-goth for some reason and decides to fight Diana ok. So we watched the finale of GoT and decided we could... write Dany worse???? She’s honestly the only good character until she goes batshit for no reason except lady jealousy.
6. Iol catgirl. That fight scene w/ the cat girl would have been better if they’d stopped fighting and sang a duet of Memories.
7. Um... the heels thing in the first act... I don’t...get it. Is it #girlpower? Do we need Heels High Enough to Crush Men or whatever in the year 2020? Anyway it went nowhere, they did nothing with it and it was stupid.
8. In order to make it interesting for a villain to go bonkers crazy we have to see a moment where he is winning and his power are like... actually helping him. He was immediately crazy. It wasn’t good. It was confusing and lazy and nothing.
9. Sleeping with someone while they’re being possessed by your dead WWI boyfriend is.... rape. So... Wonder Woman is a rapist now but it’s cute??? And... Barbara beating up a dude who attacked her twice was bad??? I guest. That’s a cool message.
10. Why didn’t Diana also get electrocuted??? If catgirl wished for Diana’s powers and then for extra powers and Diana wasn’t electrocuted why was she?
11. Girl, you begrudgingly deciding to let your dead boyfriend stop possessing a dude is not the same as Asteria like sacrificing herself so her people can escape to utopia. Your armor moment is narratively unsatisfying.
12. What the fuck is going on with this Truth thing? We had a whole beginning scene where we SAW that you don’t get rewarded for shortcuts then two (basically identical) amazon women EXPLAINED the lesson to us and then it... never resurfaced until Diana like made her absolutely nonsensical speech at the end. Is it really about truth? Or did you just google Wonder Woman and saw that’s like her thing? Seems like its about not taking shortcuts. You know... like Barbara did... and Max did....but ok... no narrative payoff there.
13. Stop making Steve better in fights than Wonder Woman?? Let him shrink in the back like a girl love interest would. Why’s he get to carry her out? Why does he have the emotional powerhouse moment where she’s crying in the street? She doesn’t make a decision she cries while her WWI ghost boyfriend makes decisions.
14. The cgi.... woof. Ok. Catgirl was bad but so was the like...lightning flying... the lasso leaping??? Girl looked like an action figure getting hucked through the air. There was no like sense of weight and swinging.
15. I’m done. It was so bad. It was confusing, badly written, inconsistent, and actively taught bad lessons. Only good part was they made Reagan really ugly and stupid.
#wonder woman 1984#wonder woman spoilers#wonder woman#review#sorry yall#it was so bad#for all the sjw reasons#and also as a story
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When It’s All Over
Godot’s story is very tragic.
@whumptober2020
Prompt: Blood Loss
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Character(s): Diego Armando, Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright
Words: 777
tw: blood, murder, depression, suicidal thoughts
Spoilers for Ace Attorney 3 Case 5! Set during the climax.
There was blood pooled at the bottom of his visor.
And that wouldn’t have been a problem if he wasn’t in court being accused of being a murderer. And though he was a murderer and was unafraid of facing the consequences of his actions, the blood was still proving to be an annoying distraction.
Maya, the sweet girl, was trying to protect him. She had no reason to, and the only explanation Diego could think of was that Mia somehow had a hand in it. He never really did fully understand the whole spirit channelling thing. Still, he thought it was a thoughtful gesture.
But Phoenix Wright was relentless and, as much as he hated to admit it, good at his job. All credit to Mia, of course.
Oh Mia… the worst part was that she’d probably already seen the walking mess that had become of him.
The pile of blood had reached the wound below his eyes and began to sting. It took everything for Diego to bite back a cry of pain. For so long his world had been robbed of red, so it was weird to have that damned color clouding his vision.
Wright didn’t stop his attack. It almost felt like he was the prosecutor while Diego himself was the defense. And with every nail he hammered into his coffin, the more of Mia came forward. She was living on through him.
And somehow that was scarier than the promise of prison.
It came to a point where Diego knew he was done for. He’d known that from the beginning, really. Still… it was nice to defend himself. Made him feel like he was human again.
But he could only keep up the charade for so long.
So he confessed.
He told them about the poison, about hearing of Mia’s death, about wanting to protect Maya Fey and condemn Dahlia Hawthorne.
He told them his name.
“M-Mr. Armando!” Maya cried from the witness stand. “I believe in you! I know you were trying to save me!”
And there was something about that statement that resonated deep within his soul. Despite murdering her mother, Mia’s sister still forgave him. Despite letting Mia die, Maya still defended him.
All of his efforts to save her, all the consequences of saving her… and she appreciated it. She appreciated him. Someone she barely knew.
His eyes stung. Ha… he hadn’t realised he could still cry with the giant slash over his eyes.
“Hmm…” he said, his already gravelly voice even more gruff. “Thanks.”
“Y-Your wound..! It’s bleeding!” Wright exclaimed from the other side of the courtroom.
And sure enough, the blood that had collected in his visor had finally begun to leak out of the bottom. And, as fucked up as it was to say, the more blood that fell the more relief he felt.
“...Ha!” He laughed, both his visor and his heart feeling substantially lighter. He grinned, but there was no humor in it. Only pain. “Did you forget already? In my world, the color red doesn’t exist.”
He bit his lip as he let his grin fade, unable to hide behind it anymore. The blood continued to trickle down his cheeks and onto his clothes and even onto the ground.
“These must be… my tears.”
“Tears?” The judge asked, looking surprisingly unphased by the amount of blood the prosecutor was losing. Later, Diego would wonder just what sort of weird situations the judge had seen in that courtroom that would make that case a trivial one.
Diego took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Not that anyone could tell.
“Ever since I woke up from my coma… I think I’ve been waiting for this very moment.”
Truly, ever since he’d woken up he’d felt like nothing more than a ghost of his former self walking around in an unfamiliar world. A world without red. A world without Mia.
He’d been waiting for it to all end, for his time to come. For prison? For death? Either would be fine. As long as some of his many dark secrets could be lifted off his chest, as long as he could get some form of justice for Mia, he didn’t care what happened next.
“M-Mr. Armando…”
Maya was openly crying too. Poor girl, Diego thought, she’d been through so much already and this whole situation was adding to it. He wouldn’t delay it any further for her.
“You’d do well to remember this, Maya. The only time a lawyer can cry is when it’s all over.”
#whumptober2020#no.10#blood loss#ace attorney#phoenix wright: ace attorney#fic#godot#diego armando#maya fey#phoenix wright#mia fey#day 10
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Searching for God
In the beginning
One late winter day when a melting sun spread like butter across the snowy field behind our house, my Mum, my little brother and I had a picnic lunch on the back veranda. Our cat, Queenie, came too, twitching her plume of a tail, her eyes ablaze with stirrings of spring.
We sat on a tartan blanket spread on the wooden deck. Dad had shovelled the veranda all winter and the green canvas awning would not be put up till May, so on that early March day, it was a sunny haven.
Mum lay back on her elbows and tilted her movie star sunglasses to the sky and sighed and said “I feel like a new woman!” Although I was only six I knew what she meant. It had been a long winter of dark days, of Dad away in Montreal or Chicago or Vancouver, of flu, colds and chicken pox and frequent visits from Dr. Church — Mum hovering in the background — with his stethoscope and big belly.
I still remember a bath infused with something to soothe my painful pox, and how tenderly Mum wrapped me in a towel afterwards. Years later when I saw an image of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, I felt again the sensation of rising naked, streaming and itch-free from the water as my mother’s towelled arms reached for me. I don’t know why Botticelli took me back to that bath, or which one of us was Venus. It wasn’t till I had decades more of life under my belt that I understood we both were.
But on that sunny winter day we nibbled ham sandwiches on white Wonder Bread and drank hot cocoa from a thermos. Icicles dripped and splatted from the eaves. We unbuttoned our wooly coats and listened to the happiness of chickadees and crows.
Suddenly and with great conviction, I took my little brother’s face in my hands and said “Why Doodle-bug, you look just like God!” From my mother’s reaction I knew I had said something noteworthy, but I didn’t know what and could not explain myself further. My small freckled brother only squinted into the sun with half a sandwich drooping from his mitt.
In the middle
For most of my 40s I volunteered for three, four-hour shifts a month at the Ottawa City Distress Centre. People called for all sorts of reasons beyond depression or suicide. I loved waiting for the phone to ring while I sipped tea and peered from the centre’s fifth story window at the beings striding or shuffling along below. Perhaps I had talked on this very phone with one of them. Or so I liked to think.
I was good on the phones. For the first time ever, I found I could truly connect with people. For one thing, I had to sincerely listen instead of, in my usual manner, wait for a chance to cut in and flap my gums. There were no visual cues to cloud my judgement. No clothes, accessories, hairdos or mannerisms to make me jump to unhelpful conclusions. All I had to go on was a voice and a mysterious conduit that ran between us through wires, various switches, terminals and space.
A woman named Alice called several times a week. Her warm voice gurgled like brook water into my ear. In our many talks I never discovered much about her situation. I imagined she was in care somewhere, either with relatives or in a home.
When Alice called, I could relax. Sometimes I put my feet up on the desk and tilted back the chair, settling in for something sweet. Depending on the day and who knows what else in Alice’s rich life, she claimed she was either pregnant with, or had recently given birth to, the baby Jesus. Although this was 100 per cent unlikely, I rejoiced with her at this thrilling news. She certainly never sounded distressed which made me happy for her. Perhaps she called because her family or caregivers were tired of hearing about Baby Jesus.
My most unforgettable call was not from Alice, however, but from a manic depressive man who planned to kill himself. He was not suicidal at the time, so there was no point in tracking his call and keeping him talking until police banged at his door. Nonetheless, he had a plan and was committed to it. His voice was reasoned, intelligent and also conveyed what I can only describe as certainty.
His family had stood by him through years of hell. When he wasn’t weeping, he was on spending sprees: once a race horse named Galveston Gal, although he knew nothing about the racing world; another time a stone mansion on 20 acres with tennis courts, a pool and three car garage.
“I know they love me,” he said. “I know they will cry a lot. But time will take care of all that. My wife will remarry and my kids will grow up in a sane home.” By then I was listening so hard that my forehead was on the desk and my eyes shut so nothing could get in the way.
I said very little. I think he was grateful for that. I hope I said I love you, but I can’t be sure I did. It was a long time ago.
Belonging
On a Buddhist retreat a few years ago, our teacher told us to spend as much time outdoors as possible. Each of us carried a magnifying glass and, besides being silent for the two week duration, we were instructed to examine everything.
“Feel your deep belongingness with all life,” he said. “We are family. We are woven on the looms of each other’s lives.” So out we all went, dispersing into the 300 acres of leafy woods, eager to be at one with the universe. Mostly I was relieved I didn’t have to endure endless sits in the meditation hall, waiting for the gong to sound and feeling like a failed Buddhist. Roaming forests, fields and waters, especially on my own, was my favourite thing to do.
I peered at moss, sand, fungi, petals, pine cones, webs, galls and gelatinous bird poops. The underside of leaves often held specks of mystery — possibly eggs or some minute creature perhaps waiting for an insect’s version of Godot.
Our teacher had set up an old Nikon microscope at the back of the hall. It was impressively heavy, and sat under a plastic cape, within a wooden box. This we could use for “deeper looks” as he put it, waggling his eyebrows encouragingly.
I had never used a microscope and my first zoom in on the carcass of a house fly caused me to holler “Holy Fuck!” which alarmed several steadfast meditators. The fly was on its back and had a hole in its desiccated stomach. I felt I was gazing into an echoing cavern beyond space and time. Where the hell was I exactly? Then I realized that a weensie spider — certainly invisible to the naked eye — was living in that cavern. There it lurked with minuscule glittering eyes in its dead fly home, doing whatever it had to do to keep itself alive and the world turning. I sat back with one hand clamped over my mouth. This was too much.
For the rest of the retreat, I was glued to that Nikon. I continued to see worlds within worlds within universes. In my one-on-one sessions with our teacher I babbled on about my discoveries. The way he listened, looked at me, made me want to weep and sometimes I did. I knew he was used to it. One day I was raving about looking at the yellow centre of some daisy-like wildflower and discovering it was made up of tubes. Then I saw that tiny white creatures lived inside the tubes. They bustled in and out from tube to tube obviously with much on their tiny minds. My teacher’s smiled and said “…and if we could look even deeper, no doubt we’d find smaller creatures living in or on those creatures — and so on and so on.”
For years as a journalist, I had been writing about the importance of biodiversity and how everything is interconnected. But really, what the hell did I know? It took a microscope and a dead fly for me to begin to understand what our teacher kept patiently pointing us towards. In his words: “Looking deeply into our current situation, we can see that this place and this time are actually vast mysteries of creative collaboration that ultimately involve all places and times.”
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@wardencommanderrodimiss, @pachelbelsheadcanon
This chapter came out wildly different than how I originally planned it. For one Godot originally actually appeared in this chapter. Now it more sets up two things. One is the in story fanfiction chapter Larry writes. More importantly it sets up Ace Attorney Investigations.
---
Wolfman?
You awake?
- I was about to head to bed
Oh. Sorry.
- Hey if you need something just say so
Yeah I just… I had a morning.
- You okay Stripes?
I will be?
Mostly I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t want you to wake up to a wall of text from me and freak out.
- I appreciate that
- But I’m awake and ready to meme about Warrior Cats so what’s up
Hit me with those hot memes cat meme man.
- Ah one order for the dankest of memes
- Demon voice “Due to personal reasons I will be assisting SpiritClan through this crisis”
Okay that should not have made me laugh.
- Happy to provide services
- So what’s bothering you
I went to see the guy who killed Elise today.
- Why?
- Ah this is the wall of text part
Look there’s a lot to explain!
I went with a friend. She’s Elise’s daughter and wanted to talk things out with him because it turns out he’s her dead sister’s boyfriend who just got out of a coma and helped Elise do all this protect her from an inheritance fraud? Scheme? Her aunt, Elise’s sister, wanted to kill her.
- That was a lot to explain
Yeah.
- How did it go
I don’t know?
I feel better? I kind of yelled at him, because he put shit on me and my friend Nick about it was our job to protect Elise’s daughter like that’s some bullshit!
- Mmm Misogyny and Misplaced blame
Thank you! But yeah, he mostly hates himself and I think a lot of it was guilt about himself. My next fanfic chapter is going to be a mess.
- Oh?
Some people??? Write warrior cats fanfic??? To cope???
- And you’re valid Stripes
Thanks. Just, there’s a lot to work though.
- It’s not your fault
- I don’t know if you need to hear that but if you do none of it is your fault
I
I think I did. That means a lot to me.
- What I’m here for
Is it wrong to be angry?
- No
But at Elise?
- No
- Okay I’ll prompt you, why are you angry at Elise
Because she could’ve avoided all of this!
I get it, I do! She was ashamed to face her daughter or whatever! But she could’ve asked me, she could’ve called her, she could’ve done anything other than contact her not quite son-in-law to make this overly complicated scheme to protect her daughter without ever speaking to her!
- The pack that runs together, stays together
What?
- Just some wisdom, namely that she shouldn’t have tried to do this on her own
And he went along with it! Like hell he put the idea forward in some regards and Jesus dude! Go to therapy and call the cops! Work out your own damn issues about your murdered girlfriend don’t become a prosecutor just to be a massive dick!
- You can’t trust prosecuting attorneys
Hey! One of my friends is one!
- Stripes I’m not gonna fight you on this
I mean you might have a point though, he’s like the only not corrupt one in this city.
He’s trying!
- Okay okay maybe I should meet him
Maybe you should! He’d show you!
- Fired up aren’t you
I’m just upset and I don’t, fuck.
I might need a therapist.
- Not a bad plan
- Probably a better one than yelling at convicted murders
Hey he was in jail. There were guards. I was fine.
- You better be or he’d have felt my fangs
From whatever part of Europe you’re in?
- I’m allowed to bring my fangs on a plane
“And if you touch me my European werewolf friend will absolute kick your ass!”
- You are free to use me as a threat against people
You… you should probably be heading to bed.
- I’m in bed just on my phone
- So what did he say
Who?
Oh.
He spouted some bullshit like ‘life isn’t fair’ and I called him out on that because no, life isn’t fair but he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences.
- …
Look I know going to jail is a consequence for murder but like-
We have to put our lives back together! They get to walk away, get put away, they don’t have to clean up the mess you know? I have to rebuild everything and Maya, she lost almost all her family and can’t even grieve ‘cause she’s basically had to adopt her ten year old cousin and I’m flailing wildly in in anger and bargaining and it fucking sucks! He gets to go to jail and like, feel very guilty which he was doing anyway! I have to figure out what it means to lose a mentor I hardly knew and have a life I was starting to build utterly destroyed as collateral to a plan that wasn’t necessary in the first place!
… Fuck I do need that therapist.
You still awake?
- Of course
Sorry to dump all this on you.
- You’re not dumping anything on me Stripes
- I’d have told you no if I couldn’t handle it
- Plus it looks like you just need to vent
Kind of? I also would love advice if you have any.
- Grieve. Let yourself hurt. Wounds hurt, they heal and scar over and then fade but that takes years and months and treatment
- Right now it hurts and that’s fine
- You can both miss and be angry at Elise
That’s pretty wise.
- I try
- Now take what she taught you and use it
- Publish that book, use those contacts, make something of yourself, she’s gone but you’re not
- And get a damn therapist
Larry startles away from his computer by a knock at the door, he whirls to see Edgeworth standing in the doorway, Pess at his heels.
“Hey,” Larry’s voice is rough ‘cause he’s been crying as he types to WolfDragon but it’s helping to talk this out.
Edgeworth takes in everything and nods, “I wanted to be sure you were alright. Wright said the jail visit was hard on you and Maya.”
“Yeah.” Least of which because Larry remembered being in jail after Cindy’s death. He rubs at his face, “just kinda, writing things out.”
Edgeworth steps into the room and Larry tenses, that’s too much, he’s crossed a threshold and that means he wants to talk. Edgeworth sits on the edge of the guest bed and Larry glances over at his screen.
- I’m sorry Stripes I have to go to sleep
He holds up one finger to Edgeworth and sends back a quick reply.
Good night! And thanks for everything!
Then he wipes his face again, takes a deep breath and turns around to face Edgeworth.
“So, what’s up, Edgy?”
Edgeworth makes a strange noise at that, “are you…”
“I’ll be fine,” he knows he looks like shit, he’s an ugly crier.
Edgeworth stares at him, Larry clicks his tongue and calls Pess over to rub the good girl’s ears.
“I mean it okay? Like yeah, it was rough and I might’ve yelled at Godot, Diego, whoever the hell he calls himself, and maybe Mia a little too for leaving me and Maya to clean all this up but I’m gonna be okay.” He swallows hard, “I promise.”
“Alright.” Edgeworth accepts that, “I came in to tell you that I have a trip coming up, I’m going to Europe for two weeks, I won’t be back until the twelfth of March.”
Larry can see where this is going and nods, “alright. I think I’ve got a lease set up-“
“If you don’t you can stay here,” Edgeworth cuts in, “in fact I’d rather appreciate if you did.”
Oh. Well Larry was wrong then, “you would?”
“Yes, you can apartment and dog sit for me while continuing to get back on your feet.” Edgeworth looks pointedly to where Pess is shoving her face into Larry’s leg. “The only rules would be that you take care of Pess and no having women over.”
“Oh, trust me I’m not planning on dating!” Larry holds his hands up and then goes back to petting Pess, and he’s got the social skills to not bring someone over to Edgeworth’s apartment even if he was, “uh, one thing though. Do you have a card for your therapist? Once I get a job and insurance, I’d kind of like to see them myself. Or if they know someone.”
Edgeworth pauses and nods, “I can get you a card for their office, if you need someone to help pay for sessions-“
“Dude you’ve done enough,” Larry cuts in and rubs Pess’s ears, “like seriously.”
Edgeworth considers it and nods slowly, “alright. Just don’t hesitate to text or call me if you need anything.”
“Oh, will you charter a private jet for me too?” Larry teases and Edgeworth shoots him such a dirty look that Larry can’t help but laugh. Pess gives a soft huff and trots back over to Edgeworth, who rubs her between the ears.
“I think I might get a cat or something,” Larry admits, Edgeworth looks to him and he shrugs, “Pess has made me want some kind of emotional support animal.”
“I do recommend it,” Edgeworth smiles down at the dog who wags her tail happily at him, “it’s harder to stay in bed when there’s someone depending on you.”
“And less responsibility than a kid.”
“Quite true.” Edgeworth gets to his feet, “good luck on your… writing then.”
“I think I need a glass of water, so I’ll just follow you out,” Larry admits, getting to his feet, “but then I’m gonna write some more.” He has a fanfic to update after all.
#Larry Writes Warrior Cats#God I tried but Godot fought me so bitterly that I couldn't write it#Which sucks#But I really wanna get to AAI#SO OFF WE GO
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DGS for the fandom ask. KH as well if you feel like it.
DGS my beloved series ;__;
blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)
Barok, but he's also the plmm, so I would have to give this to Herlock otherwise.
Herlock is just the best Sherlock adaptation ever. He's so gender goals, his outfit fucks, his theme fucks, he himself does not fuck tho he's so low-key lame, he's a single dad, he's an idiot, he's an genius, he's an ADHD icon. I love him.
I have so many thoughts about how his life with Iris must've been pre-canon and even more gripes with how their early relationship in canon was portrayed. How much did this sensitive man cry over the years when Iris didn't take his last name? What I wouldn't have given to see Herlock cry on screen when Iris finally called him 'daddy'. Also what I wouldn't have given to defend this dingus in court.
scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)
Gina my baby, I was immediately drawn to her the second she popped up on screen. Not too into the "petty criminal reforms by becoming a cop" trope but it really warmed my heart seeing Gina in better fitting, nicer clothes with a dog and able to finally smile easily, but still steals Ryuu's money lol. She deserved a softer situation than what she had before. Also her theme fucks. (Yes I'm aware Inspector Lestrade is a Holmes reference I just still don't like that trope)
scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)
Gregson! I love him, even despite his crimes, he was such a fun detective char and really funny. It was also an interesting change where he wasn't like clearly on your side vs the prosecutor (like Ema) or felt equally loyal to both sides (like Gumshoe), but he does noticeably start to warm up to Ryuu and Susato as the story progressed. Also be became a begrudging dad, we love character growth. I still miss him.
glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won't shut up about it for a week)
Maria my girl. Her design is Peak Goth Victorian Goals, literally a plague doctor. I'd argue Maria's one of the most morally sound chars in the entire duology too. Never once does she compromise her integrity in favor of someone she loves (Kazuma, Barok, Susato) or out of fear (Gina) or for an authority figure (Mikotoba, Dr. Sithe), which combined with her seemingly genuine apathy towards the law is so fascinating. Like she was perfectly made to copy Barok or Kazuma's mistakes but she didn't, and not because she didn't love her mother as much as they loved Klint & Genshin, but because she cared too much about her work, and then even further she held no bitterness towards Ryuu, Susato, or Barok for indicting her mother and still adores her mother as much as before even after learning what she did.
I would love another DGS game or anime or something, and Maria getting more screentime is one of the top 3 reasons for it.
poor little meow meow ("problematic"/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)
Is there even a greater Poor Little Meow Meow than Barok van Zieks? Like, he was molded in the plmm form, his mascot is literally a cat, he's a depressed pathetic (affectionate) adult man, his one hobby is wine, he's a snarky bitch but secretly very compassionate like a total tsundere, his office Looks Like That, he's dripping sex appeal but is so repressed and ace. He starts out very problematic but shows genuine attempts to change by the end, and as I mentioned above I live for character growth. Barok is my fav prosecutor in the entire franchise; he legitimately helps the defense in every case even when he's still more of an antagonist, he's a tough opponent without using scummy tactics, his design fucks, his theme FUCKS, his speech bubble is personalized, he doesn't attack the defense... (which honestly was only funny with Franziska and Godot, and even with Godot it wasn't as funny), his big objection gif is showing off his flexibility by slamming his leg on the fucking table while holding a chalice of wine, he's the only char that they finally said "yeah this mofo's drinking alcohol not juice" --- I could go on.
One of the things I hate most about the fandom (aside from how often people tag their hate posts with the actual char/ship tags) is how many fans just straight up pretend he didn't spend the last 2 cases changing. Like yeah anyone can hate him for whatever reason and no one is obligated to forgive him for his many grievances up until then, but pretending he didn't change at all? Come on.
horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)
Skulkin Brothers, they'd be great in a plinko machine. I wonder which one would fall faster?
In a more sympathetic/happy torment? sense then Kazuma hands down. And it wouldn't even be difficult, it'd just be like Susato enlisting Gina & Iris' help to kidnap him from the prosecutor's office, drag him to the celebration party at 221B Baker Street, and forcing him to hug it out with his husband Ryuu. (Which should've happened they should've hugged after 2-3 and again before leaving and also Kazuma should've been at the party. ;___; ) also the mental image of 3 cute little girls kidnapping an adult man much stronger than them is beyond hilarious, esp if Barok saw and did nothing to stop it.
eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)
Klint van Zieks my beloved. He's already in superhell for eating the rich crimes. I love you, you ruined everything, my bi poly slut (affectionate)
As for KH I actually barely know shit about it outside of memes, I only ever watched my bff play 1&2 and that was back in middle school haha. All of the Org. XIII are interchangeable for plmm & the horse plinko tho
#asks#answered#spoilers#susato & ryuu my beloveds im so sorry none of these categories fit you well enough. i love you two so much youre my fav lawyer & assistant#long post
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