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#and even that extra hour and a half a shift has nuked me this week
polyamorouspunk · 8 months
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Vent
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fuck-customers · 4 years
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Happy New Year hope you like Heatstroke
Yeah so. Event Services binch back with a long and harrowing tale. Those two shift days in a row on 30th and 31st were nooooot good for me. This is pretty much a 'Fuck how shitty my boss gets when she's stressed and also just fuck 14 hour shifts in general'.
The 9hrs on Monday turned into 9.5 hours. In 30c+ heat (and just a reminder, Sydney is currently constantly covered in smoke haze, we are always breathing smoke), but a breeze came through early afternoon to save us some. There was 4 of us putting up park signange in prep for the NYE event. I ended up schleping the ladder around a lot, I was the only one on that team that actually does weights so i carried a lot. Not a problem really except the signs and ladder are awkward to carry. Only real issue that day was my dinner was in the fridge all day which... turned out hadn't been working for 2 days (why they hadn't fucking put a sign on it about that I DON'T KNOW). Lots of people's shit got thrown out. My food was only just edible after nuking in the microwave cause i keep it in a thermo lunch bag.
The worst was NYE. 13 hour shift (it actually became a 14 hour shift). Started at 12pm, set to finish at 1am (I finished at 2). The sun was not forgiving, we had way more signage to put up because we had to wait for barriers to be set up before we could add signage to them (like line barriers for rides, entry barriers for VIP areas, that kinda thing). Our instruction sheets were BAD. They had OLD pictures that were tiny so seeing what signs were supposed to go where was hard. There was only three of us, the weather was in the high 30's and I'm sure it hit 40 at one point.
I ate a small brunch at 10 that morning. I did not get a break by 5pm like we were supposed to (park was to open at 6:30). I was yelled at by my boss for all the signage being in the wrong places and wasting cable ties (none of that signage I put up, or signage i put up with someone else's instruction they had gotten from my boss btw, so why i got yelled at idk). I was told to go straight up to my box office shift, I did not realise the box office was located outside with no shade during NYE (there was a marquee but the sun was low and behind us so *shrug* no sun cover).
I had to share a locker because NYE be like that, but the person I was sharing with was a ditz, and she thought I had the key, and she either lost it or didn't look for it properly in her pockets. Either way, I had to frantically run around in 38c trying to find her to get in the locker to change into the long black uniform pants I have to wear for box shift. 
By the time i found her, got my pants on, walked all the way out the front and up the stairs and up the hill and down the path to box i was nearly dead. The other girls there told me i could sit cause it wouldn't get busy for a while. So i sat on a bench and then became very aware of how hot i was and how much i was not cooling down and i felt nauseous. And I had had like 2 and a half litres of water at this point, I have a 1ltr bottle so it makes tracking that easy. It just wasn't doing enough.
One of the Guest relations people hanging out up there went 'yeah okay you need first aid' so she got me some hydrolyte and escorted me down once I'd shaken off enough dizziness to walk again. Was in First Aid for half an hour, they got me to drink more hydrolyte and put an ice pack on my neck and gave me a barley sugar lozenge to get my blood sugar up. Then i was finally given my half hour break on their insistence. Got to eat at last. Had to check in with FA before going back to my box shift, and thankfully by then, about 6:30, a wind change came through making the temp drop about 10 degrees. 
But I basically spent the time between then and 11:30 recovering ( I was on guest list duty and also did ticket collect, it was pretty quiet tho). At 9:40 my boss called one of the shift leads up at Box to see if they could send me home, and I had to say no. I was scared they'd FORCE me to leave after the heatstroke thing, but i NEED the money, this is my ONLY job, and I'm not even getting the pay for it til two weeks into the new year (it fell into the next pay period and i had no shifts inside the previous pay period).
They apparently were sending several peripheral staff home, I felt like I needed to find extra jobs to do just so they'd let me stay, but also, if i didn't stay past midnight i wouldn't get the public holiday bonus. I NEED THAT TOO. ESPECIALLY after all the work I'd done the day before, it felt like a fucking slap in the face even though i knew it was them trying to make sure I didn't end up getting sick and suing or some shit (As if i have the money to sue). Also I'd miss the Fireworks, which while not my main concern, still a bummer, because my dudes. Sydney Fireworks on NYE with a view from where I work. People pay more money than I currently have just to experience it. Honestly it's part of the payoff for the hell shift.
THANKFULLY my boss went 'ah right okay yeah just stay up there on guest list til the original end of shift'. I also made sure to stick my nose in on the sales end so i could use it as basic box office pre-training, since my boss has already said she wants to train me on box office. Somewhere around 10 I had my second break and wolfed down my food (they had a replacement staff fridge working that day thankfully) which i was glad i brought cause I never got given a staff wristband, brief sheet or token for a provided meal. Because I started before that sign in procedure was even set up for the rest of the staff. And then i went about taking down signage about 11:30, and then I did the running around taking signage down after 12, and like... the area we're in involves some steep hill walks to get to these outside sign placements (I'd put half of them up so it also made sense for me to go take them down). 
And that's where MORE fuckery came in, because the shitty instructions didn't tell me where ALL the signs were, so i had to go HUNTING for the ones i HADN'T put up, and i swear either another department took them down and didn't relay that, or they'd been removed by council or something thinking they belonged to council. Either way i was up and down those fucking hills with horribly chaffed thighs, sore legs, sore arms, cut up hands from removing signs with cable ties too tight, and I couldn't find half the fucking signs. but at least I took one of the newbies with me to help look so I had a witness to not being able to find things. 
So yeah. I had to go find my supervisor (no idea where boss was, prefer supervisor anyway, she's nicer under stress and poor thing was pulling a 19 hour shift) and let her know I was an hour over my finish time and which signs we hadn't been able to retrieve. She was fine with that, the rest of the people were scheduled for packdown to like 3:30 so she sent me to sign out. 
And then i had to just sit for about 45 minutes back of house with some of the others who'd clocked off at 1 and who were waiting for the free leftovers from the VIP areas that came out at 3. I had a tiny tasty cake thing but that was it, then I left at 3 and got home about 4:45. Didn't get to sleep til about 5:30.
And I've spent yesterday and today trying to recover but now Iv'e got weird low-buzz tinnitus in my left ear that started yesterday and hasn't fucked off, several bruises, many muscle aches, and I'm kinda dreading facing my boss again even though she probably doesn't really care much about the signage thing, she just gets really shitty and yelly under stress. But of course I've been gaslit and mistreated in so many of my other jobs that the voice in the back of my head is constantly going 'watch out bitch you might get randomly terminated at any moment!!!' even though i know i probably won't. 
I can just never be sure anymore. Can't trust anyone when it comes to work. Can never relax my guard, going to be stressing about it for a long time. I am never agreeing to a shift that long again though. And definitely not doing anymore outdoor setup shifts in Summer. 
Honestly hoping this ear buzz shit goes away at some point. In the end for my 23.5 hours of work in 2 days I'll probably maybe get $500 after tax. Maybe. Which will only just be floating my account by the time i get it. Everyone else was talking about having that sweet NYE bonus cash and I'm like ;u; yeah. Sure. haha. Bonus cash. TnT I need a proper fucking career job already i am so tired. 
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vizkopa · 7 years
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Celestial (FallenAngel!Doflamingo x Reader) CHAPTER 2
Chapter 2: Morning Star ~
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You opened your eyes to the warm spring sunshine of Saturday morning and, for just a moment, you forgot all about the events of the previous night. It was a morning like any other, birds singing in the forest, a light breeze jostling the boughs. But as you lay there, staring at the patterns the sunlight made on the ceiling, you felt the creeping sense that something was not quite right—a feeling that only comes from living alone for so many years. You felt a presence in the house that could not be ignored. With a groan of protest, you heaved yourself out of bed. A quick glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand told you you’d overslept—not surprising considering the night you’d had. It was starting to come back to you now. Your gaze shifted from the red LED numbers to the handgun perched on the stand, proof that it all hadn’t all been just a dream. In the guest room downstairs, beneath your very feet, was the man you had seen fall from the stars. You dressed quickly, tucking the pistol into the waistband of your jeans at the small of your back, and stumbled downstairs. Cautiously, you peered into the guest room. The stranger was still sleeping deeply. It seemed as though he hadn’t even moved an inch during the night. If you looked closely, you could see his chest rise and fall ever so slightly in a steady rhythm, but at first glance he could easily have been dead.
As you watched him, you pondered what to do. The man had no clothes, no identification and no distinguishing features. You could call the police, lie about where he came from and hand him over to them. He’d be out of your hair, simple as that, and if he turned out to be dangerous, you’d know you made the right choice. But if he didn’t then you’d be condemning an innocent man to ending up just another John Doe in the hospital. And if he really did come from the stars, a John Doe was all he’d ever be to them. No. You’d wait for now. If he really was what you suspected him to be, he would probably thank you for not delivering him straight into the hands of doctors and scientists who would only use him to satisfy their own curiosities. And if he was dangerous? Well… You only hoped a bullet was enough to stop him. As quietly as you could, you approached the side of the bed. You checked his pulse—still strong and steady—before rolling him carefully onto his side to check his bandages. There were a few spots of blood here and there, but for the most part, they were clean. Frowning, you pulled back part of the dressing and gasped at what you found. He appeared to have miraculously healed overnight. The new skin was till red and raw, and the resulting scars would not be pretty, but the wounds looked as if they had been there for weeks rather than mere hours. Had you simply imagined all the blood, the bone, the broken feathers? You returned him to his previous position and took a long step backwards. He hadn’t stirred once, eyes still shut tight and oblivious to the world. Things were getting stranger by the minute and you were finding it increasingly difficult not to believe you were stuck in some crazy dream you couldn’t wake up from. You let out a shaky breath and rubbed your eyes. You needed coffee. ASAP. You found the pot still full from the night before. It had long gone cold, of course, but you weren’t about to waste an entire pot. You poured yourself a mug and nuked it in the microwave for a minute, adding a splash of milk to try and mask the bitterness, but it still brought a grimace to your face. Bitter coffee and an unconscious stranger in your guest room was not how you imagined kicking off your weekend. In an effort to bring some sense of normalcy to the morning, you retrieved your laptop from upstairs (the battery was drained from leaving it switched on by your telescope the whole night) and decided to get a head start on grading your latest batch of papers. You found yourself having difficulty focusing, your mind wandering to the man in the next room. Surely, he couldn’t be what you thought he was… could he? Curiosity burning, you opened a new tab in your browser and typed the word ‘angels’ into the search engine. You selected the first result and began to read. Words jumped out at you: ‘benevolent’, ‘guardian spirits’, ‘purity’, ‘selflessness’. It all sounded like idealistic nonsense to you, but maybe... After a moment’s thought, you changed your search slightly and you felt your blood chill as you skimmed the new information. ’A fallen angel is a wicked or rebellious angel that has been cast out of heaven. The term “fallen angel” …is used of angels who sinned …of angels cast down to the earth in the War in Heaven, of Satan, demons, or of certain Watchers.’ You glanced up frightfully at the door to the guest room, as if the stranger would suddenly wake and prove all the words you had just read to be true. But, of course, nothing of the sort happened. No. There had to be a logical explanation. You’d much sooner believe he was extra-terrestrial than some all-powerful celestial being from a book you never took much stock in. For all you knew, he could be just a man and this was just a misunderstanding. Hell, maybe this was all just one big prank. Anything was more likely than an angel crash landing in your garden. You shook your head, appalled at yourself, and closed the tab. This wasn’t like you. You dealt in fact, in your own senses, in science. It was illogical to come to a conclusion without first gathering all the evidence, and your key witness had yet to take the stand. But were you prepared for the possibility that everything you knew, everything you believed in was wrong? That night you slept fitfully, your dreams plagued by the sound of great wings, and the stench of burnt feathers and blood. The remainder of the weekend passed uneventfully. The man slept through Saturday night and Sunday morning with no signs of stirring. Loathe as you were to leave him alone in case he finally did wake, your fridge and pantry were getting dangerously close to empty. You decided you could risk a trip to the grocery store. Half an hour, tops. You took one last peek into the guest room to make sure Sleeping Beauty was where you’d left him, before snatching up your keys and rushing out the door. Thanks to the quiet Sunday afternoon roads, you made the round trip in twenty minutes. When you got home, you set down your shopping bags in the kitchen then, out of habit, went to check on the stranger. You had grown so used to seeing his sleeping form in the last two days that you almost turned around and left the room before your brain registered that this time he was not where he should be. The bed was empty. The covers had been thrown back hastily, and the sheets still held the impression of his body where it had lain only minutes before. You touched them. Still warm… He couldn’t have been awake for long. You had noticed nothing amiss when you’d returned from the store. The front door had been locked, and the back door bolted from the inside, just as you’d left them. The guest room window that opened onto the back yard was still shut tight, and a strong, crisp breeze had been blowing all day so you would have felt it if any other window in the house had been left open. It all led you to only one conclusion: he was still in the house. You whirled around, hand hovering by the grip of the handgun concealed at your back, but before you could free it, a body slammed into you, pushing you roughly against the wall. Your head cracked painfully against the drywall and you saw stars for a moment. The breath had been knocked from your lungs but before you could recover it, a large hand enclosed around your throat. Dazed, you looked up into the face of your assailant for the first time. You gasped as your eyes met his. They were a stunning, clear electric blue—impossible and inhuman. They were eyes that had seen millennia, that spoke of intelligence far beyond your own. They were the most exquisite eyes you had ever seen, but you only had a moment to admire them before the hand around your throat tightened harshly. The man glared down at you, teeth bared in a grimace. “Where am I?” You gasped for breath, fingers clawing uselessly at the iron grip crushing your windpipe. The edges of your vision were already beginning to turn black. The man snarled and loosened his hold slightly. “Speak!” “Starfall, Oregon,” you managed to croak out. “Why am I here? What have you done to me?” “You fell. I found you.” “Where?” “Forest.” He glanced over his shoulder and out the window to where the dark shadow of the tree line encroached on your back yard. He turned back to you. “How long ago?” “Two days.” He cursed, rage crossing his features for a split second before composing himself. “Show me.” You forced yourself to hold his gaze, heart beating wildly against your ribs. “Say please.” You felt a small swell of pride at your ability to keep your voice from shaking as you spoke the words. He seemed taken aback for a moment, then scowled. “Do you know who I am?” “I have my suspicions.” “Then you know you’re expendable to me. I can kill you in a heartbeat.” “So can I.” He froze at the resounding metallic click and looked down to find the barrel of your .45 pointed straight at his heart. The pressure on your throat lessened and you gulped down a lungful of precious air, but he still had you pinned to the wall. “So you at least know what this does.” He eyed the pistol warily. “I’ve seen what they can do,” he snarled. “Humans and their toys, do you really think you can kill me with that?” “If you’re so confident, why are you afraid of it?” He hesitated, the vein in his forehead pulsing with each second that ticked by. He growled in frustration and pulled back abruptly, finally releasing you from his grip. You slumped against the wall, blinking away tears of relief, and glowered up at him. You lifted a hand to your throat to massage the tender flesh, cringing as you felt the bruises already beginning to blossom there. “I thought angels were supposed to protect people.” He scowled. “We are warriors of the Lord, not babysitters.” “Guess that got lost in translation somewhere.” He watched you warily as you caught your breath, those impossible eyes fixed on the gun. You kept it levelled at him, willing your hands to stop trembling. Your father taught you long ago how to shoot at painted targets and old tin cans. It was a whole other story when you were aiming at flesh and bone. “Take me to where I fell.” You shot him a glare and he returned it. The two of your stared each other down for a moment before he gave in and rolled his eyes. “Please,” he finished and you almost laughed at the absurdity of it. “Why should I help you? You haven’t exactly done anything to deserve it.” The vein in his forehead throbbed. Maybe it was a bad idea to piss off someone who could probably snap your neck with two fingers. But hey, if he was going to kill you anyway, you might as well go down swinging. “Because the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave and I never have to lay eyes on you again.” “Now you’re speaking my language. Fine. But you need to put on some clothes first.” In all the excitement, it had only just occurred to you that stranger before you was still very much naked. As if the day couldn’t get any worse. “If I never have to lay eyes on this again,” you gestured vaguely to his nether regions, determinedly keeping your eyes above his waist. Still, you couldn’t fight the blush slowly spreading across your cheeks. “I’ll be glad for it.” For a moment, he looked as if he was about to retort but changed his mind, closing his mouth and choosing instead to fume in silence while you made your way to the dresser across the room. Watching him carefully from the corner of your eye, you rummaged in the drawers and pulled out a pair of pants and a button down shirt that had belonged to an old boyfriend of yours. You tossed them to him and he caught them deftly in one hand, looking down at them in distaste. “They might be a little small, but they’ll do. Hurry up and get dressed, I’ll wait in the kitchen.” As soon as you were out of the room, you felt your legs begin to shake. They carried you as far as the dining table before they collapsed from under you and you sat down heavily in the seat. You set the gun down on the table away from your trembling hands. You wanted to cry. But you wouldn’t. You refused to show that man any shred of weakness. You’d somehow managed to convince him that killing you was too much trouble and you needed to keep it that way. And when he was finally out of your life and this all seemed like just a passing dream, then you could cry. Please, God, let this be over quickly, you prayed silently. Then you laughed at the irony of it all. Maybe God was punishing you being a non-believer. This was certainly a rude awakening to his existence. “Why are you laughing?” Your head snapped up at the voice. The stranger was watching you from the doorway with contempt, his shoulders stiff as he stood awkwardly in his new clothes. As predicted, the ends of the pants stopped well above his ankles and evidently he didn’t even attempt to button the shirt given how tight it already was around his broad shoulders. But it was far better than staring at his junk all night. “No reason,” you said all too quickly, jumping to your feet and reaching once more for the pistol. It’s cool weight against your palm seemed to have a calming effect and your trembling subsided. Regaining your former composure, you glared up at the man. “Let’s go. You first.” You gestured with the barrel to the back door and followed him through it into the orange light of the setting sun. “Straight ahead,” you said as the two of you reached the edge of the trees. You kept your eyes trained on him, gun at the ready. You had yet to turn off the safety, but he didn’t need to know that. His feet made no noise on the forest floor as he walked. It only made you more aware of your own footfalls, cringing at every snapped twig and crushed leaf as the noise seemed to be magnified tenfold in the secluded space. It was then that you noticed everything else was silent as well. No birds sang and not even a breeze rustled the tips of the trees, as if they were all holding their breath in the presence of this being. Whether it was out of awe or fear, you couldn’t be sure. You knew you had reached the clearing when he stopped abruptly in front of you, almost causing you to walk right into him. “Wait here,” he said and you nodded silently, watching wide-eyed as he approached the crater. What exactly was he hoping to accomplish? Were they just going to beam him back up into the sky? A moment later, you heard his voice ring out through the clearing. “Father!” Silence. “Father, why have you forsaken me!” No reply came. Not that you had been expecting any. What was he waiting for, a disembodied voice from the sky? Like The Lion King? “You would cast out your own son?” He stumbled forward, face upturned to the sky. You could see the despair in his gait, in the way his clenched fists fell limp at his sides. “You would leave him to rot here, amongst the dirt and worms and filth?” Dead silence. Not even a whisper on the breeze. At the centre of the crater he fell to his hands and knees, fingers curling in the blackened soil. He raised one hand up to his face and in his grip he held a single, singed feather. He began to shake, the feather crumbling to dust in his fist, and he raised his head and let out an anguished cry to the heavens. You jumped in fright and lifted your gun as a flock of birds shot out of the trees and took to the sky at the sound. He sounded like a madman, a wounded animal in its last throes of life, and in that moment your heart ached for him. When his lungs were empty, he fell silent and hung his head. He was still for a long time, but your dared not take your eyes off him and you kept your gun trained on his back. “You can put that away; I’m not going to hurt you.” You hesitated at his words. His tone was one of a defeated man, shoulders slumped and head bowed. But your throat still burned with the imprint of his fingers from earlier. “Not until I get some answers.” He was silent for a long time. You couldn’t see his face, but you could see the muscles of his jaw work as he clenched his teeth. “Fine,” he said finally. “But not here.” He got to his feet and turned to you, a look of resentment on his face. You gestured toward the house with the barrel of the gun. “Then lead the way.” He scowled, eyeing you with a look that could only be disgust. But he complied. You were the one with the firearm after all. As you followed him back to the house, you couldn’t help but think how absurd it was, holding an angel at gunpoint. You were probably going to hell for this.
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
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Bark at the Moon
A Supernatural story for @writingthingsisdifficult‘s 1000 Follower Celebration! Woot!
Details: First-person Reader-insert, Reader x Dean
Monster: Garm, the four-eyed, blood-stained [wolf]hound of Hel whose howl drives people insane.
Word Count: 8163 (Yeah, you read that right. I just...couldn’t...stop.)
Warnings: Mentions of suicide (and violence pertaining to the methods)
*****
I finish my shift at nine at night, instead of three in the afternoon, bike home in the dark—which I hate doing—and nuke some of last night’s lasagna while I change out of my work-smock and into something more comfortable. Burning my mouth on the leftovers at the bar of my micro-apartment’s kitchenette, I glower at the calendar pinned to the fridge by a daisy magnet. 
I covered Ross’ shift on Sunday too, and here I was, trading with him again two days later because he had an inescapable engagement. There’s always the possibility that he’s a superhero, but it’s much more likely that he’s just a douche. And he is just the type of guy who would prefer to be anywhere else than working. I mean, so would I, but at least I keep it to myself. The rest of our coworkers know better than to get involved with him, but he knows that he can always depend on me—not because I like him or anything, but because I’m a pushover at work. The others take advantage of this too—if I’m already at the store, they take it as a given that I’m ready and willing to just keep on working—but theirs are real emergencies. Or at least I think they are.
The lasagna iss supposed to be my dinner tonight anyway—and the next night...and the next—but eating it this late just makes me angry. I put its Tupperware container back into the fridge—waste not, want not—and pull the plastic cake server across the counter. I serve myself a thick slice of carrot cake and lick every crumb and dab of frosting from my plate as I watch an old sitcom on Netflix. 
In the shower afterward, I think about my day off tomorrow. I have laundry to do, library books to return, and serving lunch at the soup kitchen downtown, which is the highlight of my week, to be honest. I’m always making too much food—thank goodness for Tupperware—but this isn’t a problem when feeding 150 hungry people. Some have a roof over their heads but can’t afford to feed themselves. Some come just to break bread with other human beings. Some are passing through, looking for work. And some have been living on the street since before I was born. A lot of them are veterans. A lot have mental health issues. All of them are victims of a broken system.
I make sure they get enough to eat and that they will be warm that night, and then I come home and eat my leftovers and fall asleep to Netflix or a good book. I always think I can be doing more. I’ve tried to get hired in to some administrative position, but with no formal schooling and being deathly afraid of telephone conversations, I’m only qualified for volunteer work in the cafeteria. But as much as I think a free meal is small-fries compared to what I could be doing for the homeless and impoverished community around town, I know that what the soup kitchen provides is important, a staple, a foundation.
And with my unsatisfied altruism at least sated for the time being, I curl up on my daybed with a hot cup of cinnamon spice tea and the last book in the stack I’m taking back tomorrow evening. My eyelids droop as I savor the last few pages again a short time later, and as I turn off the lamp and burrow into my nest of blankets, I think I hear howling in the distance. I take it for a coyote and slip smoothly into slumber. 
*****
I’m passing out extra-large rolls when one of my friends pauses in front of me at the end of the cafeteria counter. 
“Hi, Ben,” I sign, pulling a B down my cheekbone to represent his facial hair. “Roll?” I spell out.
“Yes,” he replies. “Thank you,” after I hand him his full tray. 
“Where’s Don?” I ask, tapping a D on my shoulder to represent the captain epaulettes on his service uniform. The two men are socks, gloves, turtle doves—they came in a pair. They even bunked next to each other in a secluded copse of trees by the old bridge out of town. 
“I don’t know. He went to bed last night, but he was gone this morning.”
This has me a little worried, as Don hasn’t wandered off since July 4th, when some assholes were tossing M-80s into the river and triggered a flashback. Fortunately, he had found his way to the war memorial in front of the library—hopefully he’s there again. 
“I’ll help you look for him after you eat,” I tell Ben, to reassure him and to move him along gently, since a line was building up behind him.
“Thank you,” he signs again, taking a seat at his usual table in the corner.
When I finish cleaning my station and say good-bye to the rest of the staff and a few other people, I walk my bicycle with a case of water in its basket while Ben tells me where he has already been to look earlier. He watches my face and reads my lips when I have questions, like if anything disrupted his own sleep or if he remembered anyone unusual hanging around that might have wanted to pick on a harmless veteran.
“Nothing,” he signs. “Nobody.”
We drop the water off at his camp, and I peek inside Don’s tent. The blankets are mussed, but things are still in their own kind of order. And Don would have put up a fight if someone came into his home.
“We’ll find him,” I tell Ben, pushing my bike beside him as we walked to the library—we don’t know how likely it is that Don went there, but we have to start somewhere.
He’s not outside, staring at the memorial like he had been doing six months ago, nor is he inside wandering among the stacks. The librarians haven’t seen him either—they know him, let him get a library card even without a permanent address.
I drop off my books because we’re there, and then we keep searching.
But by the time the sun starts to go down, we haven’t seen a sign of him, and those who know him haven’t seen him either.
“Sorry,” I tell Ben as I walk him back to their camp.
“We tried.”
“I’ll come back tomorrow and help you look more. And if he’s still missing tomorrow afternoon, we’ll go to the police.”
“Thanks.”
“Stay safe, Ben.”
“And you, Y/N,” he says, using the first letter of my name in his non-dominant hand as he signs the word aide.
*****
The library is on my route home, and I look at the structure as I ride past. I think about what could have happened to Don, whether something triggered another flashback or if malicious circumstances are at play. But who would want to hurt Don?
Something moves in the corner of my eye, and I turn just as a figure in what looks like a green jacket disappears around a corner of the building.
“Don?” I say out loud quietly to myself. “Don!” I call out without thinking.
A patron coming out of the library pauses and stares at me for a short moment and then continues on his way.
I turn my bike and pedal across the lawn after the figure I saw. But when I reach the other side of the building, whoever it was is gone. A small rear parking lot separates the library and a densely wooded area of the park. I wouldn’t go in there alone even in broad daylight, let alone dusk.
I pedal to my apartment quickly in the dark chill, questioning if I saw anything at all. I’ll have to ask the librarians again if Don showed up after Ben and I left. It’s not until I get inside and take off my coat that I realize how hungry I am, and no wonder—I only had cinnamon toast for breakfast.
I heat up some lasagna and watch Netflix on my laptop at the counter. I didn’t check out any new books today, so I have nothing to read, but the search for Don has left me exhausted—I can only imagine how Ben must feel.
After a quick, hot shower, I’m ready for bed. As I snuggle into my blankets, I hear a coyote howl again. But I’m more awake tonight than I was before, and it doesn’t actually sound like a coyote. A coyote’s call undulates much more than what I’ve heard. Rather than a coyote’s yips, this long, steady howling sounds like a wolf. A chill runs down my spine when I hear it again, and I pull a pillow over my ears, wondering what a wolf was doing so close to civilization.
*****
A buzzing wakes me the next morning, and I realize from the way the light falls through the windows that I overslept. But Ross is covering my shift because I covered for him on Sunday, so I forgive myself for forgetting to set my alarm.
The buzzing stops, and I recognize it as my phone. I stretch and reach for it on the coffee table and am confused when my caller ID shows my manager Toby’s name and number.
The phone starts buzzing again with a call from Toby, and a niggling pressure settles between my eyes.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Y/N, are you okay? Where are you? Why didn’t you come in? Or call in? You’re a half-hour late! If you don’t have a good reason for this, I’m gonna have to write you up!”
“I didn’t come in because I traded with Ross,” I explain, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of my daybed. “I worked his shift Sunday. And I worked it Tuesday, so I’m off Friday too.”
“No one told me!” Toby huffs. “And Ross isn’t here! It’s his day off. And you’re on the schedule! Y/N, you have to come in.”
“Call Ross,” I tell him. “I have an emergency to deal with today.”
“Come in and cover your shift until I can get in touch with Ross and figure out what’s going on,” he says.
“I just told you what’s going on. Toby, my friend is missing!” I practically shout. “I have to look for him.”
“I’m sorry about that, Y/N,” he soothes, “but I need you to come in. An hour tops.”
I hold a pillow against my face and groan into it. “Fine,” I snap. “An hour. Call Ross as soon as I hang up.”
“See you soon. Hurry.”
*****
The niggling pressure becomes a full-blown headache by the time I get to work across town. Toby meets me in the breakroom as I wheel in my bike, and I know from the look on his face that I’m screwed.
“Ross isn’t answering,” he says, and I seriously contemplate murder for the first time in my life. “I’ll let it go that you’re late because of the misunderstanding, but I need you to work your regular shift today. And maybe tomorrow.”
“It’s not a misunderstanding,” I try to say as calmly as I can. “I worked doubles Sunday and Tuesday. My time card proves it. If I work today and tomorrow—even if I just work today—I’ll go over 40 hours.”
“And I’ll look over your time card and consider approving the overtime.”
“What do you mean consider?” I ask. “If I’m working overtime, I’m getting paid for that overtime.”
“Then just work four hours today to bring your hours up to 40,” he tells me. “I’ll keep calling Ross. If he doesn’t pick up, I’ll ask someone else to cover your shift this afternoon and tomorrow.”
“Fine,” I say. I would rather eat glass than thank him for his shitty compromise.
“Okay. See you out there.”
When he’s back in his office, I call the assistant director of the soup kitchen and let her know that I won’t be in to help with lunch today after all. She’s much more sympathetic about the fiasco at work than Toby was about Don’s disappearance.
“If you see Ben, can you tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can?”
“No problem. I take it Don still hasn’t shown up?”
“No, not a sign of him.” I don’t mention the figure that may or may not have been him at the library, if there was even a figure there at all.
“Do you need more bodies? I can spare a few of the cleaning staff.”
“That’d be great. Thank you, Deena.”
“All right, I’ll see you later.”
“Yep. Bye.”
*****
Toby finds me as I’m clocking out. Ross finally picked up his phone. He completely forgot about today. Toby wrote him up, and he’s coming in to finish my shift and covering for me tomorrow.
“Fine,” I say again. The two men have just wasted four hours of my day, time I could have used to keep looking for Don. I’m not thanking Toby for giving me less than what I had coming to me.
I pop a couple of aspirin and bike back across town to the soup kitchen. Ben has already eaten and is ready to go. I have a short meeting with Deena and a handful volunteers for a search party. I tell them where Ben and I have already looked, but the places are worth trying again if he’s still on the move—if he isn’t hurt, or trapped somewhere, or somehow immobilized.
Ben and I look out for him on our way to the police station. Nothing.
I don’t know the exact model of the black classic car parked in one of the spots reserved for official business, but I allow myself the distraction of admitting what a beauty she is.
Over the desk sergeant’s counter, I have a clear view of the officers’ bullpen and two tall men in dark suits among the beige uniforms. They’re deep in conversation with what might be the sheriff himself.
“Can I help you, ma’am?” the desk sergeant asks.
“Yes, we’d like to report a missing person,” I reply, glancing over at Ben.
“I’ll get someone to help you with the paperwork,” she says, waving for an officer’s attention.
We’re taken through to a desk some feet away from the two strangers and the sheriff, and the officer starts asking for Don’s information. When he asks how long he’s been missing and I tell him since yesterday morning, he stops writing and sighs.
“Ma’am, we have to wait at least 48 hours before starting a missing-person investigation,” he explains.
I interpret for Ben, then wipe my hand down my face in near exasperation.
“You don’t understand,” I tell him. “Don is a very predictable man. He and Ben are practically joined at the hip. Something’s happened to him.”
“My hands are tied until it’s been 48 hours,” the officer—Preston—repeats.
“Listen, he’s a homeless veteran,” I say slowly. “He has mental-health issues. He has a routine, and he would not break it. He went to bed last night, just feet away from his friend, and he was gone yesterday morning. Something…is…wrong.”
“Excuse me.”
I look up and to my left and into the brightest hazel eyes I’ve ever seen.
“I’m Agent Osbourne from the CDC,” one of the suits says gruffly, but it’s because of the deep pitch of his voice and not the tone of it. He offers his hand, and I shake it as he nods to the even taller suit with dark shaggy hair. “This is my partner Agent Leonard.”
“Y/N,” I introduce. “This is my friend Ben Mayhew.”
“Nice to meet you both,” Osbourne says. “Excuse me for eavesdropping, but I understand a friend of yours has disappeared?”
“He’s more Ben’s friend,” I reply, continuing to interpret. “This officer is saying there’s nothing the police can do until it’s been 48 hours.”
“Under normal circumstances, no,” Agent Osbourne says, looking back and forth equally between me and Ben. Then he turns back to the sheriff. “Sheriff Bernard, may we move this interview into your office?”
“Uh, yeah. Of course.”
We congregate in the private room, Ben and I in the guests’ chairs, Bernard behind his desk, and Osbourne and Leonard in front of the window beside him.
“You said your friend went missing two nights ago?” Osbourne clarifies.
“We said good-night,” Ben signs as I interpret. “He likes to read before sleep. He has a lantern. I saw the light. I fell asleep. When I woke up, his tent was open and he was gone. I waited, cleaned up. He never came back.”
“And he has mental-health issues, you said?” Leonard recalls. “Schizophrenia?”
Ben shakes his head. “PTSD, anxiety. He’s a Vietnam veteran.”
“Has he ever done anything like this before?” Bernard asks me.
“Not often,” Ben answers. “He had a flashback July 4th. Some guys had loud fireworks near our camp. We found him in a few hours of knowing he was gone.”
Bernard regards me. “So, did you check the place where you found him last time?”
“Of course,” Ben signs. “That’s the first place we looked yesterday.”
“And is he known for being a danger to himself or others?” Bernard asks me.
“Sheriff Bernard, I’m just the interpreter,” I inform him. “Please direct your questioning toward Mr. Mayhew.”
“Oh.” He glances at Ben. “Sorry.” Then he leans forward and says loudly and slowly, “Is he dangerous?”
“Why is he talking like that?” Ben signs to me.
“Because he’s an asshole,” I only sign, forming an F with my hand, turning the circle of my thumb and finger up on top, and pushing it out from my chest toward Bernard with more than a little force.
Osbourne huffs out a soft laugh, Leonard elbows him in the ribs, and he covers with a pronounced cough. I blush when I realize that at least Osbourne understands some ASL.
“What did he say?” a clueless Bernard questions.
“He said he’s not dangerous,” I tell him tightly. “Don’s defensive and probably confused if he’s been triggered again. And if he’s not hurt already, he needs to see a familiar face before he does get hurt.”
“The way he was acting the past several days,” Leonard brings up to Ben. “Was it strange or unusual at all?”
“No, I don’t think so. Whatever happened to him, it happened quickly, while I was sleeping.”
“Miss Y/N, I don’t mean to pry,” Osbourne says to me, “but do you live anywhere near the two gentlemen’s camp?”
“About a mile away,” I answer.
“And did you happen to notice anything, hear anything, out of the ordinary two nights ago, or last night perhaps?”
“No, not really. I mean, I heard a wolf howling,” I recall. “I thought it was a coyote the first time. I remember thinking it sounded awfully close.”
The two agents exchange a look, and it dawns on me that they’re from the CDC, with diseases, and plagues, and outbreaks.
“Do you think there’s a wolf out there preying on people?” I ask them, looking briefly at Ben as I interpret for him.
“Wolf?” he repeats, and I nod.
“Like, is it rabid or something?” I go on. “Is that why you’re here? Is someone else missing?”
Their eyes meet again for just a second.
“They’re not missing anymore,” Leonard carefully phrases, and I catch enough from his grim tone to understand what he means by that.
“They died? Did the wolf maul them? Did it just bite them and pass on some kind of infection? There was no blood in Don’s tent, no struggle.”
“He could’ve gone off in the middle of the night to relieve himself,” Osbourne conjectures.
“Did it maul the other person, or people, or not? How many are there?” I demand.
“Three,” Leonard says.
“Your friend makes four,” Osbourne says. “Another homeless man in a city to the north, a hiker, and a bartender walking to her car after work. It didn’t maul them, but it infected them with something, some sickness, and they completely lost touch with reality.”
“What happened to them?” I want to know.
“There were a couple of days of odd behavior and mostly-incoherent rants,” Leonard tells us. “Then they committed suicide.”
“How?” Ben asks.
They exchange another look.
“How?” I repeat for myself.
“The bartender walked in front of a bus,” Leonard relates. “The hiker jumped from a window in his fifth-story walk-up. The homeless man was picked up for vagrancy and disturbing the peace and committed for a 72-hour hold in a county hospital.”
“He ran into a wall head first until he broke his neck,” Osbourne shares.
“Clearly not premeditated in any of the cases,” I remark.
“No,” Osbourne agrees. “That’s why we need to find your friend as soon as possible. He’s already susceptible to intrusive and irrational thoughts. We need to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
“And you need to find that wolf,” I tell them. “Why isn’t the DNR helping you track the animal?”
The agents’ eyes meet again in that furtive way for the fourth time, and in that moment, if I didn’t know any better, I would swear that they’re related.
“Oh, they’re helping,” Leonard insists. “They’re…checking out where the wolf might’ve come from…and Agent Osbourne and I are checking out whether whatever the wolf is passing on isn’t contagious between humans.”
“Well, if there is a wolf, Don almost certainly came into contact with it himself,” I figure. “His and Ben’s camp is pretty secluded, and Don doesn’t take too well to strangers on a good day. And we’re wasting time when we could be looking for him.”
I stand, Ben gets to his feet, and the two agents straighten to attention while the sheriff pushes himself up stiffly behind his desk.
“We’ll walk you out,” Osbourne offers, a small smile on his lips.
“Thanks.”
“Thank you for your cooperation, Sheriff,” Leonard says. “We’ll be in touch.”
Bernard tips his head. “Gentlemen. Ma’am.” He stares at Ben. “Sir.”
Ben and I both give him a cursory wave—I’m certainly not going to thank him—and follow the agents out into the chill of the late afternoon. Osbourne hands me a card with a handwritten number on it.
“This is where you can reach us, if you think of anything else,” he tells me. “Maybe we should get your information too, if we have any more questions.”
“Pen?” I request. “Paper?”
He produces a blank card with a flick of his wrist, a pen with another, and I write down my cell number for him. He flashes a smile when I give everything back to him, and I almost forget why he and his partner are here in the first place. Almost.
“Well, we have to get back out there,” I tell him.
“I don’t think that’s wise,” he shares. “But somehow I think nothing short of tying you to the bed will stop you.”
“I…” I feel my cheeks warm. “Well, you’re not wrong. Bye, Agent Osbourne. Agent Leonard.”
Ben waves to them both with more amiability than he had for the sheriff.
Across the parking lot, I stop Ben and ask him, “Can you read their lips from here?”
He turns to check. They’re standing beside the black car I noticed on the way in. “Just one of them. Osbourne.”
“What’s he saying?”
Ben raises an eyebrow but watches them beside their car. “She’s smart. She put a lot of things together, and quick. I told you one of us should have been from the DNR.” He looks at me, confused. “Y/N, what’s going on?”
“Keep going,” I instruct him gently.
He turns his eyes back to Osbourne. “If he was still in town, his friends would’ve found him by now. There’s 30 acres of woods on the edge of the park that opens up to the county nature preserve. We’ll start there. If we get to him before he’s completely disconnected from reality, we may be able to get him help and reverse the effects.” He drops his hands and spins on his heels away from them.
I peek at the two men and see them watching us. “Shit. Let’s go.”
“Y/N, what’s happening?” Ben repeats as we wander back to his camp.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I don’t think you should sleep by yourself for a while. I’m going to call Deena and try to get you a bed at the shelter—just for a few days.”
“I can’t leave. I have to be home if Don comes back.”
“It’s not safe!”
“I don’t care!”
I sigh at him, exasperated, and know that he’s just as stubborn as I am. “We have to keep looking for him. The agents—or whoever they are—mentioned the woods. I saw—or thought I saw—Don go into the woods behind the library on my way home last night.” I notice the gloom of the dying day and stop Ben. “It’ll be dark soon. I would never force you into a dangerous situation.”
He doesn’t even have to think about it. “I have flashlights and a can of bear spray in my tent. Bear spray will work on a wolf, won’t it?”
I nod with a small smile. “Let’s go.”
*****
As we reach the hidden path down the embankment to their shelter of trees, I see a flash of movement halfway across the bridge. I look closer and pick out a form between the steel webs and the railing.
“I think it’s Don,” I share with Ben. “Walk with me. Steady. Don’t startle him.”
“He’s going to jump,” Ben says. “He’s going to kill himself, like the others.”
“Not if we can help it,” I tell him. “Come on.”
We cross the bridge slowly, staying in the middle so he can’t see our approach. When we get even to him, with only the webs between us, I squint my eyes against the sun lying just above the horizon and realize that Don is standing on the outside of the railing. His service jacket is splotched with dark mud, and one of the shoulder seams is ripped.
“Careful,” I tell Ben.
He nods.
I step closer. “Don?”
The familiar figure has been looking at the water 150 feet down, but his head shoots up at my voice.
“Don. Don Fletcher,” I say softly. “Do you know who I am? It’s Y/N.”
He keeps his hold on the railing tight as he cranes his head enough to the side to see me. His face is dirty, and his eyes are wide and unfocused.
“Don’t…don’t,” he rasps. “Don’t…”
“It’s okay, Don,” I tell him gently. “I’m your friend, remember? Y/N.”
“It’s coming,” he whispers. “It’s…it’s coming. It’s gonna….end… End it all.”
“It can’t hurt you, Don. You’re safe now.”
“It’s coming,” he repeats.
“What’s coming, Don? Talk to me. Come back over here and tell me about it.”
He looks down at the water again. I feel a hand on my arm and turn to Ben.
“Don,” I try again. “Ben’s here.”
His head comes up, but he keeps it forward toward the sunset.
“You remember Ben. He’s your best friend.”
“Ben,” Don says, so soft I barely hear it.
I think we’re getting through to him. I actually feel Ben’s and my hope.
“It’ll come for you too,” Don says clearly. Then he lets go of the railing.
I lunge forward as he falls and get my hands around his arm, but the weight of him and the drop nearly pull me over with him. Then Ben grabs my waist and the rail to hold me back. Don grips my wrist with one hand and scrabbles at my arms with the sharp fingers of his other. I see a fear in his big eyes—not that I won’t let him go, but that I will.
“No,” he gasps. “No!”
“I’ve got you,” I say, but I don’t know for how long. I don’t think I can pull him up even with Ben’s help, and I can’t hold onto him forever. “I’ve got you.”
“Don’t…don’t…”
I’m thinking of how I can get an arm free to grab his other wrist, or how I can make him understand that he has to swing his legs up somehow. Then another weight is behind me, wrapping its arms around me, and I turn to find Agent Osbourne, out of the suit and in a leather jacket and jeans. He meets my eye and the desperation he must see on my face is mirrored by the determination I see on his.
He works his way around me and Ben, hooks a leg in the middle railing, and leans over the top bar to grasp Don’s left arm.
“When I grab the waist of his pants,” he tells me, “pull.”
“Okay.”
He reaches down with his right arm and gets a fistful of fabric. “Now.”
With my adrenaline, his brute strength, and Ben as two more arms and legs, we manage to pull Don over onto the pedestrian walkway efficiently enough. Osbourne holds him down, though Don doesn’t appear to put up much of a struggle.
“It’s coming,” he sobs quietly. “It’s coming.”
“Call Sheriff Bernard,” Osbourne instructs me, catching his breath. “Tell him to send a cruiser, no sirens or lights.”
“Right.”
*****
We get Don to the psychiatric wing of the county hospital calmly enough, and a sedative upon admission is administered to keep him that way. Ben said he wouldn’t leave his side without a fight, and then they’d have to admit him anyway, so Osbourne and I have been watching them through the door of their room for the past fifteen minutes.
Don had clawed at my arms with such force that he ripped through my sleeve, shirt, and even my skin in some places, and a nurse cleaned and bandaged it while they were admitting him. But it was worth it—it had not been the actions of a man who wanted to die. With therapy and medication, Don has a chance. I updated Deena, told her about the rogue wolf, and asked her to find room for more beds for people at the shelter until it was captured.
“Who are you?” I finally ask the man I know isn’t any kind of federal agent, without looking away from Ben and Don. “Really.”
“Your friend did read our lips, didn’t he?” he evaded. “I knew it.”
“Who are you, and what the hell is going on around here?” I demand again.
He regards me from the corner of his eye and then sighs. “How much do you know about Norse mythology?”
“What?”
“Norse mythology. How much do you know?”
“I’m guessing you mean beyond the Marvel movies and comic books,” I reply mildly.
He huffs out a dry laugh. “There’s a legend about a wolf named Garm. Huge thing. Four eyes, blood-matted chest. A howl that drives people insane.”
“Are you serious?” I question.
He doesn’t say anything, but his expression is serious enough.
“It’s real?”
He tilts his head.
“Oh, my God.”
“He prefers Chuck.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Another time. Anyway, the research my brother and I have been able to compile—”
“Your brother? Who’s your—?” I cut myself off. “Agent Leonard. I knew it.”
“Sam, actually,” he shares.
“And you would be?”
“Dean.”
“Dean,” I repeat. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he grins.
“About this Garm,” I reintroduce.
“Right. Some of the tales confuse it with Fenrir, the wolf who will devour Odin during Ragnarök.”
“The death of the gods and the end of the universe,” I recall. Something clicks in my brain. “It’s coming, Don said. It’s going to end it all. Garm’s howling—even if he’s a separate entity from Fenrir, if it showed Don and the others Ragnarök and they saw the destruction of the entire universe, that could be enough to drive someone insane.”
“Some sources do suggest that Garm is a herald of Ragnarök. And some say it guards the entrance to Hel itself.”
“If I saw Hel, I’d probably lose my mind too,” I admit. “In any case, we have to stop it.”
“You’re taking to this really well.” He almost sounds impressed.
“Well, one of my closest friends almost died,” I remind him. “It’s shock. It’ll wear off, and I’m probably going to scream and swear a lot.”
“No, I don’t think so. You were very perceptive, inquisitive, earlier. Do you do it professionally?”
“Professionally, I stock shelves in a dollar store,” I relate, turning back to the older men. “How do we get rid of it?”
“As I was saying, English translations of this stuff are pretty scarce, and my Old Norse is a little rusty.”
“You’re hilarious,” I deadpan.
“I try,” he smirks. “From what my brother and I have learned, we have to feed it something.”
“Any kind of something, or a specific something?”
“Specific something, but we’re still trying to figure out what.”
“Well, before we can feed it, we have to find it.”
“We, huh?”
“It almost killed my friend,” I tell him. “If that thing is a Hel-guardian, I’m going to help you send it back where it came from.”
He stares at me, considering, contemplating something. I stare right back.
“Let’s go to my motel room,” he says at last.
“What?” I choke out.
“Our books are there, our equipment.” He raises an eyebrow. “What did you think I meant?”
I bite my tongue to stop from embarrassing myself.
Dean grins at me—he can guess. “Believe me, sweetheart, you need to save your energy for hunting.”
“I didn’t—I wasn’t…” I release a long breath with my hands on my hips. “You don’t know—”
“Yes, I do,” he says simply, turning away toward the elevators. “Because I was thinking it too.”
*****
We walk in the night to the motel. Dean and Sam had set out on foot to track Garm and at least figure out if and where it’s bedding down to sleep, so that it will be easier to find it again when they know what they need to feed it. They had separated, but with a gun full of special bullets and mp3 players full of classic rock, they each felt safe from the thing’s howl and teeth.
“Are you hungry?” Dean asks as he lets us into his room.
My stomach growls in reply.
“Burgers okay?” he all but chuckles.
“Burgers are fine.”
“Coffeepot’s somewhere on the desk under all that paper,” he gestures. “There’s more books in Sam’s room—connecting door’s right there. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Okay.”
When I’m left alone, I look around at the clutter—old notebooks on half of the bed, leather-bound tomes piled five or six high on the round table in front of the window. Dean’s suit is hanging in a garment bag in the closet, but the rest of his clothes are spilling out of a duffel bag on a chair in the corner. Faded tee shirts, flannel shirts, jeans. I see the waistband of a pair of underwear and concentrate on making a pot of coffee.
I’m in the middle of a cup of sweetened black and an encyclopedia of Norse mythology when Dean returns with cheeseburgers and fries from a diner I’ve eaten at a few times.
“Anything?” he wonders, laying out the food.
“I’m cross-referencing Garm with Odin, Tyr, Thor, Loki. So far, nothing.” I bite into a cluster of fries. “Check in with your brother?”
“Yeah, his GPS says he’s somewhere on the edge of the park,” he says, tucking into a burger and another book. “He thinks he found some tracks, but it’s hard to tell if it’s Garm’s or just a plain old wolf’s.”
“Are they fresh?”
“He thinks so. He’ll text us when he knows for sure.”
“Us? You told him I’m helping you?”
“Yes…” he draws out. “Credit where credit’s due, right?”
“Right, yeah.” I turn back to my book.
“What is it, Y/N?” he asks.
“Nothing. I just want to send this thing back to Hel as soon as possible.” A light bulb goes on in my mind, and I gasp, nearly choking on a piece of greasy beef.
“Woah, hey, careful.” Dean leans around to smack my back. “Y’all right?”
I swallow the bite and wash it down with some coffee. “Yeah, yeah. Hel!”
“What’s wrong?”
“No, Hel—Loki’s daughter,” I explain. “Garm is a hound of Hel.” I flip through the pages of the encyclopedia until I get to Hel’s section. “She’s the half-dead ruler of the realm of the same name. And the entrance is guarded by a monstrous hound—Garm.” I skim the passages. “Here. For a living soul to enter Gnipa cave and Hel beyond, Garm may only be appeased by one who has served life to the Folk. Offer a Hel-cake to the hound and pass into the realm of the dead.” I look up at Dean. “What’s a Hel-cake?”
“And how specifically does a person have to serve life to the folk to fit that description?” he adds.
I shrug. “You do yours, and I’ll do mine.”
He shrugs too and goes back to reading.
Sometime later, our cartons of food and cups of coffee are empty, Dean has his laptop out, and I’m on Sam’s digging through recipe blogs.
“If I never see another Pinterest board after this,” I mutter, “it’ll be too soon.”
A small laugh leaves Dean in a soft huff. “Find anything?”
“Wait, I think…” I minimize several browser windows so that the thoughts in my head can follow a reasonable chain. “Okay, hear me out.”
“I’m all ears.”
“The only recipe I found for Hel-cake is from an Irish chef. Her Irish-ness has nothing to do with this, but apparently, hell is how you pronounce the Hebrew word for cardamom. I mean, the Norse word for cardamom is kardemomme, but if we transliterate the Hebrew word into the Roman alphabet, we get H-E-L. Transliteration is subjective up the wazoo, and I’m making some assumptions here that could be dangerous if I’m wrong—”
“It’s all we’ve got, Y/N. It’s worth a try,” Dean says kindly. “What’s the recipe?”
“It’s a cardamom sour-cream cake. We can bake it at my apartment.”
He closes his laptop lid. “All right, write down the ingredients and let’s go shopping.”
*****
As the cake bakes, Dean tells me that he didn’t get far with what Folk could mean beyond the genre of music or people in general.
“That probably means you,” I suggest from beside the oven, leaving him to sit alone on the other side of the counter. I had embarrassed myself earlier with an angry outburst when he had exclaimed Oh, Baby as he started the engine of his car—a ’67 Chevy Impala, I learned—but he hadn’t been talking to me when he said it. “You told me you and your brother are…hunters? That this isn’t the first monster to wreak havoc in small-town America. You serve the people by protecting them from all sorts of supernatural beasts and agendas. You preemptively save their lives.”
“Maybe. It’s worth a shot.”
With the cake out of the oven, I serve Dean the last slice of my carrot cake so that I can put the Hel-cake on the plastic server and into the freezer to cool faster.
“This is so good,” he praises with his mouth full. “Do you have any milk?”
I chuckle at him and pour a glass for each of us before making the icing.
As I drizzle the sour-cream icing over the top and sides of the single-layer cake, Dean rinses the dishes and sets them in the strainer and then comes up behind me and puts his hands on my waist. It startles me, but it’s a comfortable sensation.
“I can’t let you come with me, Y/N,” he breathes into my hair.
“No way,” I refuse, turning around in his arms. “I’ve helped you this far. I baked the freaking cake.”
“It’s too dangerous,” he insists. “If I can’t protect you—”
“I’ll protect myself, thank you very much,” I tell him.
“Have you ever shot a gun?” he asks.
“I went hunting with my dad when I still lived at home,” I share.
“Deer and turkeys are not hounds of Hel, or wendigos, or vampires,” he resists.
“That’s not what you asked,” I retort, pushing him away so I can get another one of my coats. “Like you said, short of tying me to the bed, nothing’s going to stop me.”
He secures the lid of the cake server with a sigh and pulls on his own jacket. “Do you have an mp3 player, earbuds?”
“In my coat pocket.”
He sighs again. “I’ll give you a gun when we get to the park.”
“Well, you can hand over the cake now,” I tell him. “Since you’re driving.”
*****
We meet Sam at the edge of the wooded area. He tracked Garm’s paw prints to a small cave just beyond the park and into the nature preserve and pinned the location on his phone’s GPS.
I trade Dean the cake for a pistol loaded with silver bullets. He gives me two extra clips just in case.
“Be careful,” he says over the blaring of music in our ears.
“Likewise,” I all but have to shout.
Sam leads us into the trees, I follow in the middle with the pistol’s safety off but my finger away from the trigger, and Dean brings up the rear.
The flashlights attached to our guns bob along the ground in front of us for what feels like forever in the cold darkness, but then Sam pauses and I stop short. I peer around him, and there is the cave.
A large wolf stands in front of its entrance, head down, hackles up, teeth bared. Its shoulders stand as tall as my waist—his head would probably be as tall as my chest, if not higher. Its black eyes glow menacingly at us—how black eyes can even glow is beyond me. Another set of eyes, smaller and glowing a milky gray, lie on its head between the first pair and its ears. Blood drips from its muzzle, and the fur on its chest is matted with the stuff.
Dean steps forward past me and Sam, already having removed the lid of the cake server. Garm’s attention moves to him as he slowly approaches the beast. As he crouches forward to set the platter on the ground as an offering, Garm snaps at him. Its powerful jaws are at least two feet short of its target, but the warning works. Dean backs up to us, and we keep an eye on it, guns at the ready, while we try to come up with a new plan.
“Obviously, I’ve never served the Folk,” Dean says loudly. “Sammy, something tells me you don’t fit either. Y/N.” He leans close. “Get behind us and start backing up nice and slow. Maybe the silver can immobilize it for now, while we find someone who can stop it, or maybe it can kill it outright. Reach into my right pocket,” he tells me.
I do, and pull out a set of keys.
“When the shooting starts,” he says, “run to the car.”
I shake my head. “No!”
“Now, Y/N,” he directs sternly.
“Stop telling me what to do!” I yell back. “I know I’m just some small-town stock-clerk, who volunteers at a soup kitchen so I don’t die from loneliness, but—” The angry words dissolve in my throat as the last puzzle piece locks into place. “Give me the cake.”
“Are you out of your mind!?”
“Thanks to Queen blasting in my ears, no. But it’s me. I’m the servant,” I realize. “The Folk aren’t just people—they’re ordinary people. Common people. And in the feudal system a thousand years ago, ordinary common people were the poor. And bread is a staple. The Bible even calls it the staff of life. I’m in charge of rolls at the kitchen. Don’t you see? I have to make the offering.”
From the look on Dean’s face, I think he would have preferred a gunfight to me figuring that out.
“Give me the cake, Dean.”
“Give it to her, Dean,” Sam tells his brother. “We got her covered.”
He hesitates but reluctantly passes me the platter. “The same goes—if the shooting starts, run.”
“Okay.”
Taking a step toward Garm, I see teeth, shiny in the lights from the firearms Dean and Sam have pointed at it, but it hasn’t moved closer. As I slowly approach, the cake server low so that the it can see the gift, it stops snarling and licks its chops. From the rippling of its jowls, though, it’s still growling, and the short fur on its back is still raised in warning.
I take one more small step and put the server on the forest floor, backing up until Dean grabs the back of my coat and pulls me to his side. Watching us, Garm creeps up to the cake, sniffs it, and devours it in a few massive mouthfuls.
“What if that wasn’t enough?” Sam asks.
“It said a Hel-cake,” I tell him.
“And technically, that was a Hel-cake,” Dean adds.
Garm licks its chops again and lies down, its great forepaws covering the cake server. It drops further, onto its side, panting. I almost can’t believe when its fur starts smoking—but until a few hours ago, I didn’t believe that all the monsters from my childhood bedtime stories actually exist.
The thick, gray cloud covers its body and seeps low over the ground toward us. I smell something like the most rotten of eggs and start to cough.
“Sulphur,” Dean says. “Cover your mouth. Watch out.”
We stand ready with our weapons, in case it has the strength to get up and attack us. But when the smoke dissipates a moment later, Garm is nothing but a pile of ashes.
I turn to Dean to ask him whether it’s over, and he’s already removing his earbuds, Black Sabbath resounding out until he cuts the music. Sam and I turn off our music and pocket our players too, and Sam steps forward with a vial in his hand.
“Stay back,” Dean tells me, keeping his arm around me. “He’s cleansing the remains.”
“Oh.”
“You didn’t want to keep the cake server, did you?” he manages to joke.
“Definitely not.”
*****
Dean walks me to the front stoop after they drive me home.
“Interesting line of work you guys are in,” I remark as the eastern horizon begins to lighten.
“Who knows how much longer this case would’ve gone on without your help,” he tells me. “You were incredible.”
“It all feels like a dream,” I admit. “That could be the sleep deprivation talking.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to wake up.”
He holds my head in his hands and sets his forehead to mine. “Neither do I.”
“You don’t suppose…”
“What?”
“I’m one hell of a researcher,” I don’t mind mentioning. “I’m good with people. I bet I would’ve been good with that gun too, if I had to use it. And if I’m not, I can learn.”
His eyes light up with wary hope, but his smile is sad. “Y/N, you don’t know how much I would love…” He stops himself. “It may feel like a dream now, but sometimes…sometimes it’s a nightmare. And you can’t wake up. And there’s sleep deprivation, and exhaustion, and things that will make you question your entire existence…”
“You’re 0 for 3 trying to scare me off, Dean,” I point out.
“It’s not an easy life, Y/N.”
“This one hasn’t exactly been a peach,” I mutter. “And I’m not looking for easy. But I think I’ve been looking for you.”
He sighs and finally lets himself admit, “I think I’ve been looking for you too.”
He tilts his head to the side and presses his lips to mine, and I wrap my fingers around his wrists. When he draws away, his smile isn’t sad anymore.
“How long will it take you to pack?” he asks.
My breath leaves me in a giggly rush. “A day. It’s just my bed and a few tables, some dinnerware and linens. Almost everything but my clothes can go into storage.”
“Sam and I will come back and help after we crash for a few hours at the motel.”
“I have to make sure Ben and Don are going to be all right. And the most important thing of all.”
“What’s that?” Dean wonders.
“I have to call my manager and tell him I quit.”
*****
A/N: Like Dean mentions, information on Garm in English is hard to find. I did the best I could, and I made a lot of educated guesses. If I got something wrong, feel free to kindly let me know. This was so interesting to research and write. Congratulations, buddy! 😘
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componentplanet · 5 years
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Why the PlayStation 4 Triumphed Over the Xbox One
Sony has unquestionably won the latest round in the console wars. As of this week, the PS4 has officially sold 102.8 million units. That’s significantly more than the PS3 (87.4M units), and there’s still a full year to go in the PS4’s life cycle. The PS4 has now sold more units than the original PlayStation and is the second-highest selling console of all time — far behind the PS2, at ~155M units.
What’s striking about this situation is how unexpected it was back in 2012. Coming off the Xbox 360, Microsoft was flying high. Where the original Xbox had been a rounding error compared with the PS2’s sales figures, the Xbox 360 had nearly tied things up with Sony. Both consoles had weathered their own respective disasters. Sony took enormous losses early in the PS3’s life cycle when the hardware was selling for much less than it cost to produce. Microsoft had the early unreliability and problems of the Red Ring of Death. Both platforms had expanded to copy the Wii’s push into motion controls. Microsoft had Kinect, while Sony had the PlayStation Move — or, as I liked to call it, the PS Wii.
Today, the Xbox One has a fraction of the PS4’s sales — an estimated 43.6M systems, according to VGChartz. We don’t know the actual number, because Microsoft won’t disclose it, but all reports and estimates suggest that the Xbox console ecosystem is less than half the size of Sony’s. So what happened?
There are several reasons why Sony took and kept an early lead. The most obvious reason is price — at debut, the Xbox One was a $500 system, compared with $400 for the PS4. That extra $100 paid for Kinect 2, an updated version of Microsoft’s Project Natal (aka Kinect, the first-generation peripheral for Xbox One). Price is the first place to look for an explanation for the PS4’s early and sustained sales momentum because Microsoft was asking gamers to pay 1.25x more for its comparable console.
Performance was another factor. The Sony PS4 wasn’t just less expensive — it was faster. There were several high-profile early launches that ran better on PS4, while games running better on Xbox One was a fairly rare event. The gaps weren’t always that large, but if you know that games are going to run 5-8 percent better on a less expensive platform, why wouldn’t you choose that system?
But in my own opinion, what hurt the Xbox One the most wasn’t its price or its performance. Higher prices aren’t intrinsically bad if a platform can justify the cost. The performance gap was noticeable in some cases, but it could have been ameliorated by a unique, interesting experience. Microsoft, to its credit, absolutely wanted to shoot for the moon. Microsoft catastrophically misunderstood its own market.
A Difference in Vision
On May 21, 2013, Microsoft unveiled the Xbox One, a console with advanced multimedia integration, and the ability to juggle multiple video streams at once. Microsoft wanted to talk about its plans for multimedia content, including a Halo TV series with Steven Spielberg, cloud integration features, and Skype integration. Microsoft wanted to talk about how you’d use Kinect for video conferencing or to check which actor was in a movie without pausing playback.
Gamers, however, wanted to talk about how the console’s always-online connectivity would work. Gamers wanted to discuss how Kinect was always listening for your voice, and about patents Microsoft had taken out allowing Kinect to monitor how many people were watching a movie, so you could be charged more if someone walked into the room halfway through. As 2013 turned, the situation worsened. Microsoft’s vision for family game sharing — a genuinely requested feature — came with enormous strings attached. Consoles had to be always-online or able to connect every 24 hours at the very least in order to retain library access.
Microsoft wanted to talk about its plans for a multimedia empire and its vision of the Xbox One as the central multimedia device of the future. Gamers wanted to talk about games. Microsoft wanted to talk about how we’d use Kinect as the central interface for all our digital products. Gamers didn’t want to pay $100 over the price of the PS4 for a product Microsoft could use to spy on them. Why so many people have decided they’re fine paying Amazon and Google to sell them the equivalent is beyond me, but in 2013, people were pissed about Kinect 2. E3 2013 did little to help.
I was virtually certain Microsoft would have to change its stance once I saw company representatives claim serving US troops without access to online services would have to be content with an Xbox 360 if they wanted to game while on deployment. Either that or buy a PS4. Indeed, this proved to be the final straw.
This went over exactly as well as you think it did.
Microsoft reversed course on the always-online idea, even if they nuked family sharing in the process. Eventually, they reversed course on the Kinect mandatory integration as well. When they built the Xbox One X, they even flipped the performance differential. Today, the Xbox One X is the most powerful console you can buy. It’s faster than the PS4 Pro. That hasn’t appeared to help Microsoft’s console sales one iota.
Sony’s stance during the same period that Microsoft was tearing itself apart was simple: “It plays games and costs $400.”
While we do not know how many Xbox One X or PS4 Pro units specifically sold versus the regular flavors of the console, we do know that Microsoft pulled out all the stops on the Xbox One X design and didn’t appear to see a commensurate sales bump. Fixing the price and positioning issues and overtopping Sony on performance didn’t fix the problem. The Xbox One has performed respectfully, but Sony has outsold it decisively — and it looks like launch positioning, rather than price or performance as such, were the primary reasons why. Keep the messaging simple and don’t enrage fans by talking about an always-on spybox when what they want is a game console.
Last thought: If you add up sales of the Xbox One and PS4, the total comes to 146.4M units, compared with a total of 173.2M units between the Xbox 360 and PS3 last generation. While that gap will continue to shrink until the new consoles launch in 2020, Microsoft and Sony would need to move 26.8M consoles between them in the last year of a cycle. The number of console gamers seems to have gone down in absolute terms between generations. Counting the Switch doesn’t help things — if we count the Switch, we have to count the Wii, and the Wii has shifted far more units.
Now Read:
Microsoft Begins Testing Game Streaming From Xbox One Consoles
Microsoft Launches New Xbox All Access Plan, Offers Next-Gen Upgrade
Windows Is No Longer ‘The Most Important Layer’ at Microsoft
from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/gaming/301380-why-the-playstation-4-triumphed-over-the-xbox-one from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2019/11/why-playstation-4-triumphed-over-xbox.html
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