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#and doesn't think of her any differently but in reality that person may not hold her hand and maybe they'll think poorly of her

seospicybin · 3 months

Text

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART II

Seungmin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Seungmin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (13,8k words)

Author's note: Enjoy this one too and let me know what you think about it :)

SEUNGMIN: I may be an athlete, but I don't compete to get girls. I attract what I want and oftentimes, I get what I want [smiles] I'm a pretty straightforward person. Am I wild? [Laughs] Guess we'll find out?

In his profession, Seungmin relies a lot on his instincts.

If Seungmin thinks the pitcher is going to throw a four-seam fastball, he would want to get the ball down in the zone. If it's a tow-seam fastball, he should raise his bat about thigh high and if he notices any different type of motion or slowing of arm speed, he'd better expect a change-up.

When Seungmin first sees you, his instinct tells him that he should choose you.

People always talk about physical attraction, well, yes, how can Seungmin is not attracted to you? You're pleasing to the eyes. Your eyes, your lips, your sparkling eyes, and your sonorous laugh, they're all attractive.

What interests him more is still there hiding inside you. He wants to talk more to you, know your thoughts and ideas, if he's lucky enough, he wants to know your hopes and dreams too.

For now, permission and a kiss would suffice.

The kiss, oh... it's like fireworks are going off from inside his chest and exploding in his head, filling it with sparks.

"That was good," You shyly mutter while trying to hold his gaze.

"Well, you can have more if you want," he coyly says.

The two of you are looking into each other eyes, still reeling from what he thought was the nicest first kiss you both shared.

Seungmin is aware that someone is appearing behind him as you look past his shoulder, looking like you just got caught doing something.

"Hey, guys," Issa says.

"Hey, babes," you reply with a smile.

Seungmin sees the curiosity filling her eyes as Issa looks at you and then looks at him. She seems to have figured it out as her lips curl into a sly smile.

"Lana called," Issa informs.

"Oh, okay, we're coming," you tell her.

After Issa left, you start fixing your hair and dress even though the two of you only kissed once, nothing else. You repeatedly tuck your hair behind your ear.

"Do I look alright?" You ask him, smacking your lips together to gain what's left on your lipsticks.

He helps you put a strand of hair away from your lips, "You look perfect," he answers.

You crack a smile and do it once more with your eyes closed, it's adorable to him.

Seungmin gets up first then he holds his hand out at you because he knows you can't freely move in such a tight dress.

SEUNGMIN: I didn't plan on breaking the rule this fast but she's just irresistible and the moment was right.

Never in his life, had Seungmin thought that he would sit and hear a cone talking. Well, there's a first to everything.

What he doesn't get is how nervous everyone is. He knows that Lana is going to announce the rule breaks and anyone who broke the rules should be aware of the consequences.

Seungmin knows what he did, therefore, he's ready to face what's coming to him.

He gets a little startled when the cone chimes as it sits in the middle of the long, wooden table.

"Good evening!" Lana greets.

Tom reclines on the single sofa and asks, "What's good, Lana?"

"I must regretfully inform you of a breach of the rules," she informs.

Seungmin knows better that it's better to immediately come forward. He doesn't wait for anyone to get suspicious of each other and clears his throat.

"I'm just going to tell you guys right away—"

Adriana's gasp cuts him off, "Wait, what?"

Everyone is either not expecting that it's him or that he'd rule break when he's only been here for a day.

"With who?" Vale asks but his eyes already looking at the answer.

Seungmin turns his head at you, finding you sheepishly smiling and then he holds your hand, showing everyone who he kissed with.

"You..." Lili teasingly says, pointing her small index finger at you while everyone is cooing at you both.

"I initiated the kiss, the moment was right so..." Seungmin explains, ignoring how awkward it is to tell everyone why he kissed a girl.

Tom blinks his eyes a few times then says, "I didn't see this one coming."

"I wanted to do it and I... want to see where things go with her," Seungmin furtherly explains, not caring if anyone trusts him or not.

"This kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces.

Okay, now Seungmin gets it why everyone is so nervous? It's not so much about the rule break, it's losing the money.

SEUNGMIN: Well, at the end of the day, what's done is done [shrugs]

It's endearing how Seungmin admitted everything and the way he openly tells everyone that he wants to take things further with you, oh! you get butterflies in your stomach.

That $6,000 deduction hurts less when you did it with the right person and it's worth it, you know you can trust Seungmin enough to see where things take you.

You lean into his side and lowly mutter into his ear, "That's so nice of you."

Seungmin looks at you to return your compliment with a soft smile that makes him look a thousand times cuter and these butterflies won't stop flying in your stomach any sooner.

"There's another breach of the rules," Lana announces.

You feel less nervous now the rule break thing has gone out of the way but hearing someone else did a rule break, you start to be concerned about the money.

"Oh, no!" Lili gasps.

A kiss or two is excusable because sometimes, a little physical affection is necessary in getting to know someone but other than that, you're not sure you can tolerate it.

"It's either you or you guys," Lili points at Issa and Jeff and Devon and Elliott.

"Or them," Jeff adds, pointing at Adriana and Tom.

Adriana subtly rolls her eyes, "I can promise you, we're innocent," she assures.

It's safe to assume that it's the couple who has spent the most money on the retreat so far. You lean forward and look at them with eyes full of suspicion, "Do you have something to say, Elliott?"

"No," Elliott immediately answers with a slow head shake.

While Devon is busy fixing her hair even though it's safely tucked into a neat bun on the back of her head. If Devon acting antsy is not enough answer, it's the awkward silence that gives it away.

"Uh-oh!" Adriana mutters, spotting the culprit with her siren eyes.

She has another strategy to make them confess, "Do you want to explain, Devon?"

Devon tries to stay calm and suddenly, she bursts into laughter then says, "I'm sorry."

Everyone reacts almost the same way, groaning in disbelief and also disappointed that they keep being selfish by rulebreaking.

Tom aggressively rakes his hair to the back and groans, "God, bro? Why did you keep lying to us?"

"We didn't lie. We choose to say nothing," he defends himself.

"Well, that's a lie," Vale corrects him.

It's kind of ballsy of Elliott to keep defending his wrongdoings instead of simply admitting it and apologizing. He makes it hard for himself and only makes everyone else lose their respect for him.

Devon tries to take control of the situation, "Okay, guys, let me explain, the first kiss we did in the bedroom—"

"What? You kissed more than once?" Issa asks with eyes widening.

"Oh, my..." Lili mutters in despair.

"Are you serious?" Tom is almost losing his shit knowing that he'll lose more money tonight.

Devon only realizes what she did a while later and quietly sighs, "Oh, shit..."

It seems like you're the only one with any patience left in you. You take a deep breath and try to assess the damage to prepare everyone.

"Did you guys do something else?"

Devon's subtle smile says so much and you believe you have just lost your patience as well. You lean back and just want to get it over with.

"Look, it-it..." Elliott is stuttering and ends up laughing.

Devon yanks the sleeve of his shirt, "Stop laughing," she scolds him.

"Take that grin off your face!" Adriana scolds him more.

Elliott pulls himself together and says, "I think there was a uh... heavy petting too."

No one is having it, if anything everyone has for them is a disappointment. The more everyone hears about it, the worse it gets so everyone sort of gives up talking altogether.

"These three rule breaks have cost the group an additional $16,000."

There's a dead silence hanging in the air after Lana announces the money deduction and what everyone is going to hear next will feel like a slap to the face.

"The prize fund now stands at $154,000."

Tom lets out a heavy, stressful sigh, "At the end of the day, we're just playing with money," he grumbles.

"Elliott and Devon, although you are displaying early signs of a deeper bond, you are spending too much energy concentrating on a physical connection rather than an emotional one," Lana says.

You're not the one who committed the act but you shake a little to hear Lana saying she's not pleased with what she witnessed.

"And as you have cost the group the most money, I am setting you an additional test."

Whatever coming to Devon and Elliott, It's not going to be a good one.

"You will spend the night in the suite," Lana announces.

YOU: Oh, hell no! We're going to be in debt, for real.

Okay, now, Seungmin gets why everyone was so nervous at the beginning, we just don't know what will happen and how it's going to turn out.

Another thing he learned is that he shouldn't be underestimating the cone, Lana is the one with power in here.

"This is your chance to show the group that your connection is more than just physical."

Lana warns Elliott and Devon, but mostly, Elliott since he's the one who's not only wrong but provoking everyone with his answers while at it.

Seungmin has been biting his tongue, he's only been here for a day so he's not sure if he can have a say on it but seeing that everyone seems to be at a loss for words, he feels the urge to say something.

"You did lie to everyone," Seungmin points out the main thing that angers everyone the most.

"This is your only chance to earn everyone's trust back," he tells him.

"Okay," Elliott accepts his words well.

"You may now leave to the private suite," Lana orders.

Everyone has no trust in them as they watch them leave to the private suite, letting them go with the thought that they'll fail the test.

Everyone is ready to leave the cabana and sleep this misery away when Lana starts talking again.

"That is not all."

"Oh, my days!" Vale gasps, sensing that it's not a good sign.

"Good judgment and in particular, knowing who can and can't be trusted is an essential skill for developing healthy long-lasting relationships."

Seungmin is in awe at how well Lana on keeping everyone on their toes, not letting everyone know what her next move is.

"That's why Elliott and Devon are not the only ones being tested tonight. If you do not trust them, you can choose to forfeit $10,000 which will cover all potential rule breaks in the suite."

Everyone is gasping to hear that Lana is asking everyone to involuntarily gamble with the prize money.

"However, if you choose to put your faith in them and they fail, you will be charged for every single rule break. With fines now doubled, that could be a very expensive lapse of judgment."

Seungmin turns his head to the side to see your mouth is hanging open. He reckons you're slightly shocked by everything you hear.

"So, will you have faith or will you forfeit?" Lana asks the big question.

Then Seungmin looks the other way, looking at Tom who's getting more stressed in each passing second.

"How much do we trust them?" Adriana opens the debatable question.

"I don't have trust in them. Nothing, none," Tom immediately answers like he's one hundred percent sure he's right.

You scoot to the edge of your seat to speak up, "Elliott is a rebel. He's most likely to break a rule and I think they're going to do something in there," you give your opinion.

Now that puts you in the same team with Tom which he gladly welcomes with a strong argument.

"They're going to be alone in the suite," he adds.

Adriana puts it simply for everyone, "Should we take a risk or should we play it safe?"

Everyone starts speaking up as well, giving their insights on this whole trust thing and Seungmin is intently listening to each opinion to take into consideration.

"If they're serious about the relationship, they won't do anything," Issa says.

Jeff agrees with her, "I back them."

"They have something to prove and it'll look bad for us not trusting them, actually," Vale gives his opinion.

You're nodding to his words and that seems to change your mind as well, Seungmin only recently learned that the person you’re closest with is him, Vale.

"He made a promise that he wasn't going to do anything," Blake says.

"He said the same thing last time," Adriana breaks his conviction.

"I got no faith," Tom remarks, period on point.

"Vale, I agree with you but if they disappoint us, I will not trust them again," you make a firm statement.

Against the doubts that slip through everyone's mind, everyone has voted to trust them, except that Tom is doing it unwillingly.

"I have noted your decision to put your faith in Elliott and Devon," Lana accepted the decision.

SEUNGMIN: Everyone puts their neck out for them so I hope Elliott keeps his promise.

Thankfully, Lili is very understanding when you tell her that you're sharing the bed with Seungmin and she has to sleep with someone else, you entrusted her to Vale.

A part of you wants to test yourself on how well can you handle temptations but another part of you tells you that you'd most likely fail because Seungmin is low-key too hot to handle.

Seungmin comes to the bed with his hair tousled and somehow, it only makes him more attractive. He gets on the bed, putting a pillow behind him before resting his back against it.

"Did you just dry your hair?" You ask.

He gives it a ruffle, "Yeah, is it messy?"

You softly laugh and help him, brushing his hair with your fingers to make it less messy.

"Your hair is so fluffy," you compliment.

He looks at you as you use both of your hands to brush the hair on each side of his head, "You like it?"

"Mm-hm," you answer with a smile.

"I missed a month of haircut," he informs, putting away the hair out of his eyes.

Your hand goes through the hair on the back of his head and let your hand rest on the nape of his neck for a moment.

"You look like a puppy," you playfully tell him.

Seungmin smiles in reaction and it only proves your words, he has that golden retriever energy, bright and playful. To put it simply, it's impossible to not like him.

There's a conversation going on in the room about whether Devon and Elliott will pass the test or everyone is going to lose more money tomorrow morning. You're listening but your eyes are focusing on the space on the bed between you and him, you hesitate to just scoot closer to him, he seems like the type of person who respects someone's personal space.

It's only when the lights are out that you lie on your side facing him and then ask, "Do you like to cuddle?"

Seungmin turns to lay on his side to face you, "Not really," he answers.

So your guess is right, he's not a cuddly person and you shouldn't be disappointed, it's just a preference, it's nothing personal.

"Are you?" Seungmin asks back.

You tuck a hand under your head and focus on looking at his gleaming eyes in the dark of the room, "Well, I would love a cuddle or two from you," you honestly answer.

He catches your hand lying on the space between the two of you, "I can do a cuddle or two," he says.

"How about more than two?" You jokingly ask.

Even in the dark, you can see his cute smile as he slips his fingers into the spaces between your fingers, "I can do that too," he murmurs.

You hold his hand back and smile, "Okay, great."

You and Seungmin are lying facing each other with hands intertwined, enjoying the quiet that slowly takes over the space as everyone else starts to drift into sleep.

However, you can no longer fight the drowsiness, "I'm sleepy," you sheepishly tell him.

He brings your hand close to his mouth and places a soft kiss on your knuckle, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," you murmur back with a smile.

You close your eyes feeling incredibly relaxed as Seungmin places gentle rubs on your back until you fall asleep.

YOU: Oh, my God! I think I like Seungmin. Seungmin, the baseball player.

The room is dark but he can see through the curtain that the sun has risen, Seungmin wakes up earlier than anyone else, including you.

Seeing that your hair covering your face, Seungmin gently put the stray hair away to the side and to the back. You look so beautiful peacefully sleeping on your pillow that he's afraid that he'll wake you up.

Seungmin then rests his hand on the dip of your waist, following the rise and fall of your body as you breathe. He gets closer so he can hold you, gently putting his arm around you without waking you up.

He feels snug, he feels like he can go back to sleep but as he's about to close his eyes, the room lights up.

Everyone is groaning as light floods the room and blinds their eyes which are still heavy with sleep.

"Morning everyone," Adriana croaks as she pulls herself out of the duvet.

Turning his head to the side and seeing you still sleeping, Seungmin can't find it in him to wake you up but he begins by softly rubbing your shoulder to not startle you awake. Then he moves his hand to your face, using his knuckle to caress your cheek and your eyes are fluttering open like butterflies batting their wings.

"Still sleepy?" He asks with his hand cupping your jaw.

You nod and instead of getting up, you snuggle to him and rest your head on his chest.

As everyone slowly gains their senses back and is ready to start another day in the retreat, Lana chimes in for her morning greeting.

"Good morning, everyone."

"Morning," you reply with a sleepy voice.

"After putting your prize fund on the line last night and deciding to trust repeat offenders, Devon and Elliott," Lana reminds everyone of the doom looming over everyone's heads since last night.

Everyone turns their heads to see Devon and Elliott's empty bed and is hit by the realization of their grim, uncertain fate.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

Lili sighs and says, "Nervous."

"Scared," Issa honestly answers.

"And on edge," Jeff adds.

Cara the new girl who has been quiet since last night, finally gives her opinion, "I don't think they'd be stupid enough to put themselves in a situation where they would spend money more than they have lost."

However, Adriana is the only one not accepting her opinion well, "I disagree. Their track record is so shit."

Tom who is adamant about protecting the money supports her argument, "$10,000 would have been a lot safer in my opinion."

What they said seems to sway everyone's faith in Devon and Elliott. Seungmin can see that everyone starts to doubt their decision to trust them and put so much money on the line.

Whether they lose money or not, this is not how Seungmin wants to start the day.

SEUNGMIN: We put our trust in them... well, some of us. Let's hope they prove themselves to be worthy of our trust.

As a baseball player, Seungmin has a rigorous workout routine and he usually starts the day with a morning run. Since it's impossible to do here, he decides to do some simple exercises in the makeshift gym by the beach.

Before he gets back to the villa, he goes for a swim in the sea and walks back with water dripping from his swimming trunks.

In the bathroom, he finds Blake standing by the sink, his big body almost covers the whole mirror. Hearing that someone else entered the room, he looks over his shoulder.

"Hey, man," he greets him with dollops of sunscreen on both of his cheeks.

Seungmin hangs his towel at the handle of the shower door, "Hey," he replies.

He goes to the sink to retrieve his toiletry bag from the drawer.

"I see that you picked a bird, huh?" Blake says.

Seungmin has to take a moment to process his words and what he meant by a bird is a girl, he got himself a girl, you.

"Yeah..." Seungmin awkwardly replies, he heads to the shower thinking that Blake is done talking.

"You got a wild one, bro," Blake is applying the sunscreen all over his face as he speaks.

"What are you trying to say?" Seungmin asks and wonders if he's taunting him or trying to make a joke here.

Blake lets out a chuckle as he washes his hands under the running water, "She broke a rule with Elliott once."

Is that supposed to make him mad? Well, if it happened recently then it would be a problem but he obviously came here after that happened so Seungmin has no idea what he has to do with that information.

He decides to ignore him and goes into the shower, not wanting to continue the talk that shouldn't be his business in the first place.

Also, it shouldn't be Blake's either.

SEUNGMIN: I don't know what Blake's intention is but this is something that I don't want to hear from someone else.

All you need is a few sprays of hairspray to keep the hairstyle intact for the next few hours, you carefully apply it to your hair with your eyes closed.

When you open your eyes, you catch Seungmin's reflection in the mirror. Half-naked with his hair wet, Seungmin is walking to his closet that is located right behind your chair. You turn around on your chair and use the opportunity to ogle him, admiring his lean body with muscles in the right places and they're just in perfect sizes.

Imagine looking that hot yet so unaware of it.

"Hey, baby," you sweetly say, holding your hand out at him.

Instead of taking your hand, he reaches for your chin and gives your cheek a quick caress.

You smile in reaction and ask, "How do I look?"

"Perfect," he shortly says.

You take his hand and hold it as he looks for something inside his closet, "Let me dry your hair for you," you offer.

"Okay. Give me a minute," he gladly accepts the offer by letting go of your hand so he can put his shirt on.

Unlike most women, you like treating your partner with simple things like this.

Seungmin is sitting still as you work on his hair, drying it with a hairdryer. You don't have to put a lot of effort into it since he has short hair, finish it by applying a hair oil with your fingers slipping through his fine, dark hair.

He does the rest, brushing his hair with a comb and styling it how he wants it to be.

You rest your hands on his square shoulders and ask, "Did I do a good job?"

He fixes the hair falling over his head, "Not bad," he responds.

You bravely cup his chin while looking at his face through the elliptical-shaped mirror, "You're so gorgeous," you compliment.

He takes your hands and brings it close to his mouth. When you think he's going to kiss it like last night, he bites at your fingers instead.

"Ouch!" You yelp in pain.

He laughs in satisfaction and hurriedly makes up for it by placing a kiss on your inner wrist. He then drops his head to the back to look at you, seeing you eye-to-eye.

"Thank you," he sweetly murmurs.

You gently tap his cheek, "You're very welcome."

You like attractive men but you like it more when they act like true gentlemen and a true gentleman is rare. But it seems like you're lucky to have found one.

The only way Lana knows how to have fun is by interrupting a sweet moment like this. You both stop moving and talking altogether to hear what the cone has to say.

"Please assemble everyone in the cabana," Lana orders.

"Got it, boss," you reply, reluctantly letting your hands go from around Seungmin's neck.

It's not hard to gather everyone as most of them are chilling by the pool, you can tell them about Lana's order on the way to the cabana.

The stress from last night continues once everyone realizes that Elliott and Devon will be returning from the private suite soon.

Speak of the devil, here they come, looking so happy like they're coming back from a honeymoon instead of a test. They take the small sofa on the side of the room while ignoring the death stares directed at them.

Jeff is the first one breaking the silence, "Anything you want to share?"

Here comes Elliott's grin and it's not a good sign, "It was very enjoyable," he answers.

Devon is smiling next to him and letting him do all the talk.

"There are roses on the bed, champagne, bathtub," Elliott continues, giving everyone the wrong ideas.

Next to Seungmin, Vale lowly sighs and mutters through his gritted teeth, "They're fucking breaking rules."

YOU: We're fucked if they fucked!

Lana finally comes in and goes straight to business, "Devon and Elliott, last night I gave you the opportunity to show the group your genuine connection without surrendering to your physical desires. However, your connection wasn't the only thing I was testing."

Elliott's grin wavers for a second at the revelation that Lana did something behind their backs.

"While you were away I gave your fellow guests a test of trust in you. If they didn't trust you, they could forfeit $10,000 to cover all your potential rule breaks in the suite."

Now it's Devon's smile that gradually fades from her face and into a panic expression.

"Or they could choose to have faith in you, meaning that any rule breaks would receive the appropriate financial penalties."

Devon and Elliott exchange a look and turn rigid on their seats, it's enough to tell everyone that they did something.

"I can now reveal the group chose to trust you," Lana informs.

Tom hurriedly comments on it, "Not me. I don't have a lot of faith in you guys," he audaciously tells them.

Elliott sadly smiles, "I understand," he says.

You hear Lili sighing next to you and when you look at her, she leans in and whispers, "Seriously though, they're not looking hopeful."

One thing you know for sure is that Tom is ready to give a long I-told-you-so speech right at everyone's faces.

"Devon and Elliot I must now tell the group that you..."

For an AI, Lana knows how to build the suspense.

"...did not break any rules!"

You feel like you can finally breathe at ease while everyone else is cheering and applauding Devon and Elliott for proving that everyone was right to trust them.

"Even though you were very close to breaking the rules last night, I can confirm the prize fund still stands at $154,000."

Your head is turned to see Tom and Adriana who have the least faith in them and they're smiling, you can see a bit of regret on their faces for being too negative about the decision to trust them.

YOU: So they do know how to keep it in their pants, huh?

Despite the most spending couple in retreat has succeeded in passing Lana's test, that doesn't stop Tom from keeping everyone on his watch to make sure the money stays at $154,000.

You and Seungmin are having wine in the firepit, sitting close next to each other with your legs over his lap and enjoying the warmth of the fire swaying with the night breeze.

Seeing him up close is almost surreal because of how handsome he is, you trail down his jaw with your finger and gently tap his chin after.

"You have a very sharp jaw," you emphasize every word in awe.

Seungmin takes a sip of his drink before speaking, "Don't cut yourself then," he says with a sly smile.

You playfully slap his chest in reaction and burst into laughter almost at the same time.

You fix your hair and look at him, "It's your turn to compliment me," you demand.

He puts his drink away and licks his lips, "I didn't know that I have to compliment you back."

You dramatically roll your eyes, "Just say something nice about me, please?"

He laughs and puts his arm around you, drawing you closer to him as he thinks of something to say. He looks at you, trying to find something he can compliment on but you end up being drowned in his eyes.

"Your eyes, nose, lips..." he starts.

You stare back into his eyes, "Yeah?"

"They're parked perfectly," he finishes his words.

Once what he said registered in your head, you burst into laughter, "Parked?"

He nods while foolishly grinning, proud at his creative way of saying you're beautiful, "You got 100 points for parking them perfectly," he compliments again.

Flustered and amused, you put your arms around his neck and hug him, sharing laughter until the sex cop comes crashing.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

You both abruptly stop laughing and turn your head to look at Tom, standing at the top of the steps that lead down to the firepit.

"Are we being safe?" He asks you both, looking at you like a parent seeing his child having her boyfriend over.

And you act like you've been caught doing things with your boyfriend, reluctantly taking your hands away from Seungmin.

"Yes, Dad!" You jokingly respond.

Tom nods in approval and turns to leave, before he walks away, he turns around to say, "Keep your hands to yourself, 'kay?"

"Got it, Dad!" You shout at him.

You may have taken your hands off of Seungmin but you use it as a chance to change position, you make him sit on the end of the long sofa and you sit between his legs with your back resting against his chest so he can take his turns to put his hands around you.

The night is warm, the wind is softly blowing and the sky is full of stars.

Maybe it's because you haven't been with a man for a while or it's because of him, either way, you feel incredibly at ease.

You softly rub his forearm and delightfully sigh with your eyes closed, "This is nice."

Seungmin places his hand on yours and slips his fingers in, "I heard that you have broken the rules before," he says.

That comes out of the blue and you don't expect him to address this matter since it happened way before he came to the villa.

Yet you find yourself stammering in answer, "Y-yeah, I did."

"Oh," Seungmin simply responds.

That 'oh' sounds harmless but you start overanalyzing it, mostly because you don't want Seungmin to get the wrong idea, thinking that you're trying to hide it from him.

"Okay, now I feel bad for not telling you," you sadly mutter.

"It's okay. You don't need to tell me," he assures you.

Regardless of how he obtained this information, he deserves to know why you did it and whether you still have involvement whatsoever with the person you committed the rule break with.

"I didn't feel like I needed to tell you about it because the kiss that I did with Elliot... I was bored, I did it for fun," you explain.

You hold his hand back and tip your head to the side so you can look at him as you speak, "But the kiss that I did with you is not, it was personal."

You take a deep breath before ending it with a sincere apology, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Seungmin has been so quiet for a moment that you doubt he's accepting it well. You squeeze his hand to gain a reaction from him and ask, "How do you feel though?"

He inhales air and leans in to look at you, "I don't like to play games or in competition with someone else," he begins.

You don't want to overthink but you fear that he'll change his mind because of how you keep things to yourself.

"I know my worth I respect myself. I feel that if someone else can't see that, then that's on them but I don't hang around for that," he remarks.

You always know that Seungmin is very forthright, he says what's in his head, knows what he wants, and goes for it. Ultimately, he doesn't waste time on someone who doesn't acknowledge his worth and you fear that you're that someone.

You need to assure him that you do know his worth and you want to keep building connections with him. You mull things over in your head and try to fathom them into words.

"I do want to get to know you. I feel drawn to you and it's genuine and honestly, I feel more connected with you than I did with anyone else," you tell him how you feel as best as you can.

Seungmin repeatedly rubs his hand up and down your arm to keep you warm and comfort you. He then rests his hand on top of your clasped hands, "I just want to move forward and be open, there's so much more of you that I want to get to know," he says.

It's rare to find someone who's as wise and as gentle as he is. You really are lucky to have found and met him, and lucky that he chose you too. You want to get to know him more as well and risk falling deeper into him. As if you mind.

"Me too," you tell him with a grateful smile.

You bury your head in the crook of his neck and let out a breath of relief, trying to suppress the urge to kiss him.

"I want to kiss you but we can't," you mutter.

"Actually, we can," he corrects you.

You softly chuckle and raise your eyebrow at him, "We can but we can't."

YOU: I'm so grateful for Seungmin and I feel more confident about taking this further with him.

It takes time for Seungmin to get comfortable around someone.

He likes you, yes but he likes being in his personal space so much it's hard to let someone in. It's nothing personal, it's just who he is.

However, he looks forward to bedtimes the most because then you'd be lying close next to him.

A smile rises on your face as you get on the bed, crawl over to him and adorably ask, "Can we have a cuddle or two?"

He notices the anticipation on your face but what he likes seeing are the sparkles in your eyes as you wait for his answer.

Seungmin doesn't say anything but spreads his arms out, letting you dive into his warm embrace.

"Guys, guys," Tom claps his hands to get everyone's attention.

You keep your head rested on his chest while Seungmin pays attention to what Tom is about to say.

"I think we're all in agreement that we will not rule break and I just want to know if that stays true right?" He asks.

He can't speak for everyone but Seungmin can't remember when he did agree to this. However, everyone is half-heartedly replying to Tom.

"I love you guys but be good," he concludes.

Seungmin has a good restraint, but when he gets told to not do something, he wants to do it more. Plus, you're snuggling up to him and your body starts to mold to him, he would be lying if he didn't get the urge to kiss or touch you or do more than that.

When he looks down and sees your face this close, your eyes closed and your lower lip is jutting out, oh... he wants to kiss you bad.

Even after the lights are out, Tom looks at everyone in the room to say one last thing, "I'll be watching," he says.

After a few minutes though, he fails his task as he falls asleep next to Adriana. It would be hard to fall asleep with Tom's snores filling the room yet cuddling you makes him relaxed that his eyes are drooping.

As he slowly descends into slumber, you shift on the bed and plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight, baby," you murmur, then you turn over and lay on your side of the bed with your back facing him.

Now Seungmin finds it hard to sleep without your warm body lying close to him so he closes the gap between your bodies and puts his arm around you.

A while later, you let your body mold into him once more and hold the hand resting on your waist. Without looking, he can hear you smiling as he holds you close.

Seungmin lands a caress on your head and kisses your temple, now he can finally murmur back to you, "Goodnight."

SEUNGMIN: The talk that we had reassures me that I was right to choose her.

A few days have passed and you enjoy getting to know Seungmin more.

He told you a lot about him that besides baseball, he likes music, he likes playing piano, he likes to write in his journal and he doesn't like watching movies without knowing the ending first.

Everything about him is one of a kind but that's what makes him special. The two of you got closer the more you shared things about each other.

And today, you'll get a lot more closer to him.

All of the guests are being gathered in the garden for a workshop and someone has been waiting there, you assume she's going to be leading the workshop.

You take the mat in the back with Seungmin and sit cross-legged as the instructor introduces herself as Haley, a sex expert.

Her profession surely intrigues everyone and whether it's going to help them suppress their sexual urges.

"First, I want to ask you guys what is your version of a perfect partner?" Haley opens the workshop with a question.

"Nice body?" Jeff answers.

"Okay," Haley says with a nod, accepting Jeff's answer.

"Anyone else?" She invites everyone to share their answers.

"I like girls with skinny model bodies," Vale honestly shares.

"I don't want to be with someone who doesn't look as good," Cara gives a way too honest answer.

Everyone is laughing except Blake who is her partner for today's workshop. Hearing everyone's answers, you can see how people can be so shallow with what they want, they only see the surface, the superficial and that's including you.

Haley moves on to explain what the workshop will be about, "In today's workshop, we're going to release any perfectionism. We're just going to let ourselves get a bit... messy."

She pauses hearing everyone get excited for it, "Are you guys into that?"

You turn your head to the side at Seungmin, wanting to check whether he's as excited as anyone else.

The answer is no, he's not that excited.

"You guys can start!" Haley announces.

There are bowls of body paints prepared for the workshop and the two of you can paint each other's bodies with it. You get up and stand facing each other, then suddenly, have no idea how to start.

"I don't like getting messy," Seungmin says.

As expected, body painting is not something that Seungmin would do to have fun. You pick up a bowl of pink paint and dip your finger into the thick, pigmented texture of the paint.

"Well then I'll be the one having the most fun," you say as you rub the paint onto his nose.

And before he can complain, you smear the paint onto his cheek, laughing at how his face is covered in pink paint.

Eventually, Seungmin starts painting your body as well, he uses the green one while you use the yellow one, drawing a heart on his chest.

"See if you can just let go a bit. Let go of control, let go of inhibitions," Haley encourages everyone to stop being so careful and just be free.

You see everyone is only using their fingers to paint each other's bodies, not willing to get any other parts of their body to get dirty.

"Stop thinking! Stop worrying about what you look like. Let yourself just go free, get wild!" Haley encourages more.

It gives you an idea, instead of dipping your fingers into the bowl of paint, you pour it onto Seungmin's shoulder and lather it all over him.

"What are you doing?" Seungmin asks.

"I'm having fun," you simply answer.

You want Seungmin to not be afraid of getting wild or making a fool of himself, you want to have fun with him so first, you have to show him how.

"And you should too," you add, taking his hand and dipping his whole hand into the bowl.

Then you turn around, presenting your butt cheeks at him, and shamelessly request, "Make a handprint on my buttcheeks."

Seungmin stands rigidly with his hand tainted blue, "What?"

"Slap my butt!" You make it simpler for him.

It takes him a while to understand your request and once he did, he lands a good slap on your left buttcheek, creating a print of his big hand on it.

Haley notices what the two of you are doing and likes what she's seeing, "Love it! More of that!"

That seems to motivate Seungmin to make another handprint on your other buttcheek, he lands a harder slap which makes it even better.

Soon, everyone starts to loosen up, playing with both the paints and bodies, investing in the workshop, or merely using it as an excuse to feel each other's bodies.

"Catch them off guard!" Haley says as she supervises everyone.

After picking up a bowl of paint, you turn around to get greeted by a dollop of orange paint Seungmin throws at you. You scoop some green and get back at him, splashing it all over his back.

The next thing you know, you both are having fun, and as a matter of fact, the two of you are the only ones having the most fun out of everyone.

"You're not drawing penises on my back, right?" Seungmin jokingly asks as you draw more stars on his back.

"Nope," you reply, "Just some boobies."

You're running out of paints and to make it all worth it, you scoop the last of the red paint, then rub it all over your chest.

"Baby, look over here!" You tell him.

Seungmin obeys you, looking at you with his face covered in pink, green, and yellow.

Catching him off guard, you bring his head close and bury it between your breasts, lathering the red paint all over his face.

Instead of complaining, Seungmin pulls away laughing with fresh red paint on his face and you laugh along, seeing how much he enjoys it.

"Notice if you feel embarrassed to just see each other, now that you've stopped worrying what you look like," Haley remarks.

Seungmin wipes the remaining paint onto his stomach and pulls you into a hug, you can feel the paint getting all over your front too.

You both just stand there and have a laugh looking at each other looking silly in colorful paints, you see your mess on him and he sees his mess on you yet you both still look perfect to each other.

"You guys did amazing in today's workshop. I hope that you let go, you got a bit more free, you find some joy, laughter in being imperfect," Haley concludes at the end of the workshop.

Now that the workshop has ended, all you can think about is how Seungmin's hands were all over you.

YOU: We had so much fun. I don't think I'd be having that much fun if I did it with someone else [smiles]

Unfortunately, the fun doesn't last long.

You were straightening your hair when the cone in the dressing room chimes, you abruptly stop moving and so is everyone else, it's like the world pauses for a second to hear what Lana has to say.

"Everyone," Lana says.

No greeting whatsoever, she's addressing everyone in the room and you sense that she's not pleased with something.

"Hi, Lana!" Lili weakly replies as she's busy braiding her hair.

"You must all gather in the cabana immediately!"

Uh-oh! Lana is pissed but why? Everyone's been good.

Or that's just how they seemed to you, you never know with these people, especially Devon and Elliott. Lana never urges everyone like this before so it's safe to assume that someone messed up.

"What the fuck is going to happen?" Tom mutters, looking so stressed already.

All the eyes in the room are suspiciously glancing at each other as you get too anxious to even bother straightening the rest of your hair.

Even though you and Seungmin struggling to keep your hands off of each other, you managed to not break any rules. But still... in here you'll get penalized for something you didn't even do.

"Good evening," Lana greets.

"What's good, Lana?" Tom asks with a thin smile.

You can only hope that Lana is playing with our minds and actually gathered everyone to deliver good news, for instance, she feels generous tonight and drops $10,000 into the prize fund. Oh well, that's just your wishful thinking.

"I must regretfully inform you that there has been a breach of the rules."

And here we go again, everyone is once again playing the game of "whodunit" that sadly costs money.

Adriana looks around, "Who is it?"

"Who did it?" Issa says with a threatening voice.

You can only hope that this is not the time you find out that one is stupid enough to commit serious rule breaks.

"Elliott?" Tom asks him since he's grinning like a guilty man.

Elliott shrugs his accusation away and coyly says, "Nah.

He may be putting on a good poker face but Devon? Not so much. She keeps hiding her face behind Elliott's shoulder and avoiding suspicious eyes.

"You're awfully quiet right now, Devon," Vale says with suspicion.

"Did you break another rule?" Lili asks with a soft tone like an understanding mother.

Ever slowly, Elliott's grin is getting wider and wider, exposing the truth he's hiding behind it.

"Ugh! No!" Tom groans, raking his hair with his fingers.

"I can't believe you guys kissed again!" Adriana says, her voice tinted with jealousy as they extravagantly spend money when she can't even get her man to do a single rule break.

Judging from their silence, you sense that it's not just a kiss, "or it wasn't just a kiss...?"

Your question only heightens the tension and everyone's heads are turning in at Devon and Elliott as they occupying the single sofa on the other end of the room.

"Spit it out!" Tom impatiently demands.

Devon only keeps on sighing while Elliott is looking like he has his life flashes before his eyes.

"Just tell us what you did!" Adriana urges them.

Elliott is foolishly grinning his stress away and finally answers, "Coitus."

"What the hell is coitus?" Lili innocently asks.

"Sex," Issa shortly replies.

"Oh, fuck!" The profanity automatically falls out of Lili's mouth.

It's unfair that you were having a good day until two people decided to make your worst fear come true. A kiss is already $6,000 and you don't want to guess how much for sex.

YOU: I mean… Seungmin and I have been resisting temptations.

"I must inform you that sex was not the only thing that took place in the bathroom," Lana continues.

You nervously bite at your thumb, thinking how stupid can they be to break so many rules all at once. Have they always been thinking about themselves?

"That's so stupid!" Adriana doesn't hold back.

Elliott lets out a dry chuckle, "It's not that bad," he calmly says.

From his answer, you can see how stupid he is. What makes him think that answer would make everyone feel better?

"No, Elliott, you're being stupid and selfish," Vale points out, stealing the words out of your mouth.

"Are you aware that what you did got the whole team penalized?" Adriana scolds them more, putting some sense into their heads.

Tom holds Adriana down by putting his hands on her hands. It's the first time he is being the reasonable one out of him and Adriana.

"Let's just hear how much money we've lost," he says.

Lana continues with the announcement, delivering bad news one after the other.

"Elliott and Devon, the fact that the fines were recently doubled does not seem to have deterred you from breaking the rules of the retreat. Today's multiple indiscretions have cost the group..."

You know you wouldn't like what you're going to hear but to soften the blow, you prepare yourself by taking a few deep breaths.

"... $50,000."

Your jaws drop open but nothing comes out of your mouth, you're just at a loss for words. $50,000? You could have paid months' worth of bills and rent with that much money.

"What the hell?"

"That's so expensive!"

Tom is in utter shock that it takes him a few minutes to respond to it, "That's crazy!"

Elliott comes with another ignorant-sounding response, "Our bad. Alright, okay."

Tom claps his hands together and leans forward on his seat, "Do you guys even have respect for us?"

Elliott starts to blabbering around as Devon only sits next to him, saying nothing.

"It's just th-that we have feelings for each other and—"

Adriana cuts right through his words, "So you guys are going to keep doing it?"

"No, no," Elliott hurriedly denies, "That's it."

Everyone is turning on them no matter how hard Elliott is defending himself, he should know by now that he's in the wrong.

"You guys are right. I'm very sorry," he concludes with a regretful tone.

"The prize fund now stands at $104,000," Lana updates the current amount of money in the pot.

Everyone is too tired to even react to five sacks of money lost in one day. At this rate, everyone is going to be in debt.

"May I remind you that you are here to form deeper emotional connections," Lana ends, letting everyone go with a warning.

YOU: I'm upset about Devon and Elliott's rule break but now I'm just thinking maybe... it's my turn now [smirks]

It's exceptionally quiet in the room tonight.

Everyone is upset about losing half of the prize money when the retreat is nowhere close to finished. At this point, everyone will come home with nothing.

And everyone is simply too tired to even deal with things.

"Goodnight, beautiful people!" Issa sweetly says into the dark room.

A few are replying to her and not long after that, the room turns quiet again.

Seungmin is getting used to cuddling you, your head is nestled in the crook of his neck and his arm is around you. This is what he needs after an eventful day, a relaxing time with you and just enjoying each other's warmth.

He knows you're still awake from the way your thumb softly rubs his jaw, he turns his head to the side to plant a kiss on the top of your head.

"You're not tired?" He asks, keeping his voice low to not disturb everyone else in the room.

You take a low breath and answer, "I don't want to sleep."

Seungmin senses that you're up to no good but he's going to have some fun trying to resist you.

"What do you want to do then?"

"Mmh..." you hum and tip your head upward to look at him.

You hold his jaw to make him look back at you, "We can do more than a cuddle or two tonight," you answer with a smile.

His guess is right and he grins at you, suddenly feeling conflicted that a part of him wants to kiss you but another part of him doesn't want to anger everyone.

"No?" You ask.

"No," he answers.

"So... is that a yes?" You ask again with your thumb now swiping his lips.

Seungmin lets out a low chuckle and just can't find it in him to resist you, you're so alluring, so relentless, and just undeniably beautiful.

"We can do more than a cuddle or two, yeah," he caves in to the temptation.

Seungmin takes his arm away just so he can hover above you but before he can lean in, you stop him. You look around to make sure the coast is clear, checking Tom's bed to see if he's sleeping soundly before pulling the duvet to cover both of you.

Even in the dark, Seungmin knows where your lips are because he's drawn to them and when they touched, he feels like something has sets his body alight. He feels warm all over, he feels the flutter in his stomach and the softness of your lips that are in contrast to how hard you return his kiss.

It's only fair that Seungmin reciprocate that energy, he uses his tongue to pry open your mouth and kisses you deeper, harder, and at the same time, trying to keep the smooching sound at the minimum.

Your hands are around him and keep pulling him closer until he collapses on top of you, he has to plant his elbow against the mattress to not put his whole weight on you.

Seungmin doesn't know how much time has passed because, to him, it feels like time stops when he kisses you.

As much as he would love to continue, he decides to end it with a long peck on your lips and pulls open the duvet covering both of you.

With your hands still around his neck, you easily bring his head close to plant a soft kiss on his cheek and smile when you pull away.

"Goodnight," you quietly mutter.

He gives your cheek a gentle caress before placing a kiss on it, then murmurs back, "Goodnight."

The two of you return to your sides of the beds with your backs against each other like nothing just happened.

SEUNGMIN: She is making it hard for me right now but I know that people will be mad about it so I didn't go all the way.

The morning starts with a heartfelt apology from Elliott.

If only the apology brings back the $50,000 they have lost, they would have easily accepted it but well, the damage has been done, there's just no undoing it.

"I'm not the type to dwell on the past but I don't forget and forgive either," Tom says, showing where his stance is on this matter.

Devon brushes her brown hair to the back and draws a breath before talking, "We do not plan to spend any more money. You can believe that or not, but I'll show you," she says with a determination.

"You are repeat offenders!" Tom states a fact that everyone can vouch for it.

"Fair enough," Elliott meekly responds.

Everyone turns quiet as they watch the talk between Tom and Elliott on the sideline, including him and you. You link your arm around his and rest your head on his shoulder.

Tom looks around as he asks the same question every other morning, "Did anyone break the rules last night?"

Not going to lie, Seungmin's heart drops a little but he knows how to put on a poker face. He remains calm, holding your hand if not rubbing the sleep of his eyes.

Another moment passes and no one answers Tom except for the silence that hangs in the room. Admitting it won't do him good, he knows Tom is going to be fuming.

"Let's start the day, shall we?" Issa says, breaking the silence in the room.

Seungmin must admit that you put on a good poker face too, no one is suspecting anything and he hopes it stays like that.

But on the other hand, the rule break last night only makes him want to break more rules and you seem to have the same thing in mind.

"What are we doing today?" You ask, your hand making its way across the sink to grab at his hips.

Seungmin is too busy brushing his teeth to answer you, he wants to do a lot of things with you but most of them are against the rules. He takes your hand and pulls you close to his side which you gladly do, clinging to his side.

You both agreed on swimming in the pool instead of working out, and going to the dressing room to change into swimwear.

Seungmin is already waiting in his swimming trunk and drinking out of his water tumbler when you come out of the changing room without your bikini top.

You're slyly grinning and stand by the full-length mirror to put the bikini top on while he watches in the back.

"Do you like what you see?" You playfully ask as you tie the straps on your back.

Seungmin manages to swallow his water alright even though you suddenly decided to flash him.

"The question is can I touch them?"

You laugh at that and come up to him, putting your hands around his neck, "You can touch them whenever you want."

He gives you a piggyback ride to the swimming pool and standing on the edge of the pool, "Are you ready?"

Before you can answer, he jumps into the pool with you still on his back, catching you off guard. You're gasping for air once you break through the water's surface.

Seungmin has a good laugh watching you fumbling to plant your feet on the bottom of the pool and he hurriedly helps putting your hair away from covering your face.

"You prick!" You say as you hit his chest.

He can't stop laughing, but he tries to console you by hugging you.

"Having a good laugh, huh?" You sneer, all pout and adorable.

"I did ask you if you were ready," he says just to annoy you more.

"Ha-ha," you dryly laugh in response, wiping the water from around your eyes.

"Okay, I'm sorry," He quickly apologizes, putting your hands around his neck and holding you close.

But he is having fun teasing you so while you're holding onto him, he lets himself fall into the water and brings you along with him, fooling you once again.

"Stop following me!" You jokingly say as he trails behind you as you both make your way back to the villa.

He puts his hands on your shoulders and you quickly shrug them off, "Don't touch me!"

That only makes him want to tease you more, he slips his arms under and around you, hugging you from the back.

"You're annoying. Go away!" You grumble, trying to get away but he won't let you.

Seungmin keeps laughing and tightening his hold around you, ignoring that the two of you are dripping wet and forming puddles of water on the floor of the dressing room.

He buries his head in your neck and kisses you there and you whine in complaint but you tip your head to the side, giving him the access to your neck.

"Stop it!" You tell him, half laughing but mostly enjoying his neck kisses.

He knows you can't resist him and that's why you keep letting him kiss your neck with his hands roaming around your wet body.

Then you drop your head on his shoulder, tantalizing him with your lips only inches away from him and you know what, he can worry about the money later.

Seungmin crashes his lips on yours, placing an intense kiss on your soft lips, and gives you a moment to return his kiss before taking it further.

You know what he wants and you give it to him, opening your mouth for him so he can kiss you deeper and harder.

While his lips are busy kissing yours, his hands freely wandering your body, he traces the sides of your body, then bravely cups your breasts in his hands.

A moan slips out of your mouth as he fondles your soft mounds, feeling the nipples hardening under your bikini top. The more he touches you, the more he loses himself in the kiss.

If it wasn't for the footsteps you both hearing coming to the dressing room, Seungmin wouldn't have stopped. He steps away to avoid suspicion, grabbing a towel to start drying himself.

You crane your neck to see who's coming from the hallway but it seems like whoever that is, they're heading for the bedroom, not here.

The moment your eyes meet, you both let out a laugh knowing that no one caught you rulebreaking.

SEUNGMIN: I need to do something because if we keep going down this path... I think we're going to keep breaking more rules.

The dress you're wearing has cute frills on the hem and you're swaying your body side to side in front of the mirror to see how it's going to look.

"It looks like one of those Barbie dresses," Adriana comments.

"I'm not wearing underwear under my dress," you shamelessly share.

"She's not wearing underwear under her skirt," Adriana points at Issa which she confirms with a nod.

"I hardly wear underwear," Devon innocently adds, holding a glass of juice in her hand.

You check one more time in the mirror and Vale happens to walk past you, you grab his elbow to stop him.

"How do I look?"

He ties his long hair into a small bun as he looks at you, "Stunning!"

"Thank you, babes," you mutter with a big smile, holding your hand up for a high five.

"And how do I look?" Vale asks, giving you a spin to show the whole look.

He's wearing blue jeans and a gray knitted sweater which doesn't fit the Caribbean sea weather but he looks good nonetheless.

"Divine!" You answer with a bright smile.

He puts his arm around your shoulder and looks at both of your reflections in the mirror as he says, "Perfect!"

After putting on a fresh coat of lip gloss, you're ready to step out of the villa and find Seungmin, he's the only one you want to show yourself off to.

You can easily spot him from his baseball jacket and his broad shoulders, he's talking to Jeff by the pool. Once you're close enough, you surprise him with a back hug.

Seungmin looks over his shoulder at you and smiles, sharing a moment with him until you realize that Jeff is still there.

"Nice shirt, Jeff," you compliment.

Jeff looks down at his striped shirt, "Thanks!"

Since Seungmin is still engaged in a conversation with him, you decide to let them continue and excuse yourself.

"I'm going to get a drink," you tell Seungmin.

It's when you're done with your first glass of drink and deep in the talk about skincare products with Lili and Adriana that Seungmin looks for you.

"Can I borrow her for a minute?" He asks the girls.

"Uh... No," Adriana jokes.

Nevertheless, he's offering his hand at you to help you get up from the sofa and take you to the firepit which has become you and Seungmin's favorite spot.

You carefully sit on the sofa with your hand keeping the hem of your dress down to not let it ride up your thighs and accidentally expose your private part to the camera.

"I love the jacket," you compliment, grabbing at the collar of it.

"I love the dress," he compliments back, touching the frilly hem, then rests his hand on your thigh.

His hair is brushed to the back, showcasing his beautiful face shape and strong jaws. Something about him that makes it seem like he's getting sexier and sexier each time you look at him.

And your mind is about to wander far off but thankfully, Seungmin grabs your hand and reels you back.

"I think we need to talk," he says.

Those words have such negative connotations and you get a little nervous, "Yeah?"

He puts his arm around you and his fingers are playing with the end of your hair, "We broke the rules twice already. I think it's just too much physical," he says.

Facing Lana's wrath is scary but there are far scarier things than that, for example, Seungmin has a change of heart. Thank God that's not the case so you let out a low sigh of relief.

"And I'm not just talking about people going to be mad at us. I think we should work on our emotional connection too," he seems to pick his words carefully, probably not wanting you to get the wrong idea.

You know exactly what he's talking about, there just too much physical stuff lately and you can't think of anything other than that.

But if you would rather do that than have to talk about emotions, feelings... it's just too scary for you.

"I'm just bad at talking about my feelings, that scares me so much," you honestly tell him.

Seungmin repeatedly nods as he takes your answer and pats your head, "Okay then, for now, let's put a brake on the physical stuff," he suggests.

Not sure if that's also what you want, you hate the idea but Seungmin is right, you should start to think of the group and stop acting selfishly.

The only thing that gets in the way is that it's not an easy thing to do.

"You know on the first few days in this retreat, I kind of forgot about sex," you share.

You pull the lapel of his jacket and slyly smile as you glance at him, "But now that I'm sharing a bed with a hot guy... all I'm thinking is just sex, sex, and sex," you openly admit, purposely dropping your voice lower and lower.

Seungmin is holding himself from smiling and you see that he profusely blushing from your words which makes him even cuter.

He clears his throat before speaking, "Surely, we can control our impulses, we can try—"

You cut him off as you stare into his eyes, "And when you're looking me in the eyes like that I just get so... fired up," you tell him.

He draws a sharp breath and throws his head back, failing to try to make you stop thinking about sexual stuff to only hear you talk more about sexual stuff.

You laugh as he looks so defeated and you hug him, feeling bad for him.

"We should stop spending the money, mmh!" He tries again.

"I'll try," you say while continuously laughing.

Hopeless, he buries his head and threatens you with tickling kisses, sending you into a laughing fit. Once you calmed down, you carefully dab the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes from laughing.

"If we can't kiss then I want cuddles," you demand.

Seungmin knows what to do, sitting on the end of the sofa so you can rest on his chest. You keep the hem of your dress down as you get in between his legs.

"I'm not wearing underwear," you tell him.

He hurriedly takes his jacket off, offering it to you to cover your legs, then puts his arms around you.

"Why are you not wearing an underwear?" He curiously asks.

"To seduce you, of course!" You mischievously reply with a smirk.

He groans at the night sky and hisses, "Fuck..."

YOU: What can I say? I love teasing him [laughs]

Should you be suspicious or relieved to know that Lana is letting the two of you off tonight?

She didn't announce any rule breaks tonight and everyone stays oblivious about your rulebreaks. Well, you should be thankful that you can go to sleep at ease tonight.

"Goodnight, fam!" Jeff mutters to everyone in the room once the lights are off.

In the dark, Seungmin gets bold with his touches, you wonder if he's going to keep his word to not spend any more money.

You still remember how he said he didn't like cuddles that much but he's the only one spooning you right now with his big, warm hand resting on your stomach.

To put it simply, he's not that much of a man who sticks to his words.

It's obvious that he wants it as much as you do as he keeps placing kisses all over your shoulder and neck, his hand goes under your night dress, squishing on the flesh of your stomach.

"We can kiss, you know," you whisper.

He presses a kiss on the skin behind your ear and whispers back, "But we can't."

You let him do as he pleases and try to not make any noises as his hand climbs up your chest, his fingers teasing your underboob.

You turn your head to the back and lowly mutter, "You know what they say?"

He detaches his mouth off your neck, "What?"

"Third time is a charm," you answer.

Seungmin gets it right away and he decides that he's going against his plan to not act selfishly. He kisses you and lets his hand roam all over you, fondling at your breast and pinching at your nipple, making you yelp against his lips.

You see that he's smiling as he kisses you and he slides his hand down your stomach, easing down to where you want him the most.

He lets go of the kiss to ask, "Are you wearing underwear?"

"Sadly, yes," you answer.

That doesn't stop him from continuing, cupping your clothed sex as he plants his mouth on you again and without warning, lands a gentle slap at it.

You take his hand away in reflex and put it back on your waist, holding it down to not let it wander again.

"You can't do that, baby," you whine.

It's a surprise that you find yourself becoming the one with more senses and reminding him about the plan. Probably because it only hits you now that you've spent quite a lot of money already with three kisses and that's only what you know.

You don't want to know how Lana is going to calculate these rule breaks, thinking about it is enough to make you shudder.

Seungmin takes a deep breath to calm himself down, he needs it as you can feel his member poking your backside. You turn around to sleep facing him and putting a little space between your bodies, resting your hand on his chest as you look at his face in the dark.

"We should save some for tomorrow," you jokingly say.

Seungmin softly chuckles and takes your hand to kiss it, "Goodnight," he mutters.

You lean in to kiss his cheek and give his fluffy hair a ruffle, "Goodnight, baby."

YOU: I hope Lana dozed off during her night shift or was updating her software or something [laughs]

This morning, people started getting suspicious of you.

As soon as the lights are on and morning greetings are being thrown around the room, Tom asks the usual question, "Were there any rule breaks last night?"

You put on an act and you don't have to worry about Seungmin, he mastered the innocent until proven guilty face.

Issa shakes her head while twisting her hair and secures it with a hair claw, "Nothing here."

"That's good," Tom says, impressed.

Then Devon with her bare face and naturally rosy cheeks, gestures her hand in your direction, "I definitely heard something from there," she says.

Your heart drops but you keep reminding yourself to not act on it, putting on an angelic smile to ward the suspicion away.

"Why are you smiling?" Jeff asks.

"Because I'm feeling good," You simply answer, ignoring how your heart starts beating out of control inside your chest.

Thankfully, Vale chimes in and puts all of the attention away from you, "Yo Jeff, I dreamed that you stole one of the cones in the villa," he says.

Jeff cracks a laugh at this random information, "You mean, I stole Lana?"

Now that the suspicious eyes are nowhere on you, you look at Seungmin and exchange a knowing glance.

"What are we doing today?"

"Stop following me," he says, getting back at you with what you said to him yesterday.

You rest your head on his shoulder, "Want to work out together?"

He pushes you away by the shoulder, "You're annoying. Go away!"

You put your hand across his chest and hug him, annoying him more by nuzzling your head into his neck.

"Stop it!" He plainly says.

It's for the best that you maintain a safe space with Seungmin for now. You join Vale sunbathing, taking the lounger next to him, and put sunglasses on to shield you from the sun.

"It's weird not seeing you all over your boy," Vale pokes fun at you.

"Gee! Thanks," you sneer with a thin smile.

Vale chuckles and puts his bottle of suntan away, "So, you like this boy so much, huh?"

"Yes," you confidently reply.

"That much, huh?"

"Yes."

He chuckles again and reclines on his lounger, "How far are you in the relationship?"

You get a little anxious at the mention of the word "relationship" but it is a relationship, what you have with Seungmin is not just a fling.

With Vale, you can openly tell him about things because you know he will try to help you find an answer. He's a good friend who you can seek advice from.

"I'm just afraid that I might get scared and just fall back, I'm like... caught between two things at this moment," you honestly tell him.

Vale understands your problem, he's brushing his facial hair as he thinks about what to say to you.

"I think you should follow your heart," he says.

"If he feels right to you, then you should go for it," he continues, looking at you through the lenses of your sunglasses.

Seungmin feels right but that doesn't mean that one day, he won't walk away from your life. That's what you fear: being abandoned.

"I know but... it's just..." You don't know how to fathom it into words but you can feel the fear creeping up inside you.

Vale grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze, "It's okay. You'll figure it out," he comforts you with a smile.

This is what makes Vale a good friend, he's not judgmental and knows how to provide comfort. You place your hand on top of his and smile back at him.

After a moment, he lets go and then sits back on his lounger, "What else is on your mind though?"

"Sex?" You shamelessly answer.

He bursts out laughing and puts his hands behind his head, "You did break the rules with him last night, didn't you?"

He knows you better than anyone so there's no use in denying it, you nod to confirm.

"How bad?"

You skip on answering and he gets the meaning of it, cracking another laugh at you.

"How mad everyone will be when they find out?" You foolishly ask even though you don't want to know the answer.

"Depends..." Vale answers, sparing his detailed opinion on it.

He knows you know how bad it would be since you're the one who committed the crimes. If you have to guess how bad, well, it's bad enough that it sends a chill down your spine.

You shake the thought away and turn the conversation elsewhere, "Enough about me. How about you?"

"What about me?" Vale asks in confusion.

"Are you still on the hunt or...?" You wonder if Vale is having his eyes on someone or if he wants to continue this journey on his own.

"I don't know," he answers.

"I don't think I... I think I learned enough here," he cryptically adds, hinting that he wants to stop progressing in this retreat.

But it could also mean something else entirely.

"If it's about the girls, I think Lana will bring more guests into the villa," you try to console him.

Vale awkwardly chuckles and lets your words vanish into thin air, unanswered.

YOU: I want to open up, I do and I know it's something that I need to do but that's just too scary for me.

It's time to face the music.

When Devon lets everyone know that Lana wants everyone in the cabana, Seungmin knows that she's going to announce the rule breaks.

Lana has been quiet lately but that doesn't mean she's not keeping tabs on what's happening in the villa. He sees that you look a little nervous as you walk next to him.

Everyone is cheering once they enter the cabana and Seungmin wonders what triggers it, it's the first time everyone is happy coming into the cabana.

Then he notices the small gift boxes, twelve of them on the table which means everyone gets one.

"I hope it's one of those mini vibrators," Cara cheekily remarks.

Next to him, you're sighing and awkwardly muttering, "That's interesting."

Not long after, Lana chimes to answer everyone's curiosity, "Hello, everyone. As you can see, I have a treat for you all."

More cheering erupts in the cabana and Tom is excitedly whooping, probably because Lana finally delivers good news.

"The purpose of this gift will further enhance your relationships going forward. You may now open your gifts."

Everyone takes each box onto their laps and impatiently opens them to find out what's inside. Seungmin takes one for him too and gets yours for you.

"When I observe two people forming a genuine connection, they will be given a green light, like this."

While everyone else is enjoying their watches and Lana explains about the green light, Seungmin is left confounded as he finds nothing inside his box.

And so are you.

"You don't get one?" Elliott asks.

Devon dramatically gasps, "What does that mean?"

Seungmin looks at you and you look back at him, nervously laughing at the same time. He knows you both fucked up and it's time to let everyone knows.

"Do you guys know why you don't get one?" Adriana asks.

It's better to come clean and not make it worse for both of you. Seungmin learns the hard way not to underestimate Lana and if he did again, she'd punish him more.

"Uhm... so..." You're fiddling with the cuff of Seungmin's shirt, anxious.

Seungmin decides to speak for both of you, "Last night, we kissed and did a little heavy petting," he confesses.

He thought that it would be like taking a bandaid off all at once but as everyone is exclaiming, groaning, and complaining, he realizes that the sting lingers.

"I knew it," Devon says, knowing that she was right about the noises she heard last night.

"You have not only broken the rules once, but three times in 36 hours," Lana reveals.

And hearing that, he must agree that it's that bad.

"What are you doing?" Elliott asks in disbelief as if he didn't spend 50 grand on himself a few days ago.

"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $30,000."

Everyone is at a loss for words, including Tom and that's a bad sign. Seungmin would rather Tom to scold him than get nothing from him.

"The prize fund now stands at $74,000," Lana updates.

SEUNGMIN: [Groans] I clearly underestimated Lana.

When you think the nightmare is over, Lana calls you and Seungmin. You sit up straighter and hold Seungmin's hand tighter on his lap.

"Everyone here has struggled to combat their physical urges, but you two have shown a blatant disregard for my rules of late."

Lana is mad, you get it and you believe you're not going to like what she says next. But what can you do? You have to pay for what you did.

"Therefore, to prove you are committed to the process, I'm setting you an additional test."

Oh? A test? But you're never good at tests and everyone seems to have guessed what kind of test Lana will put you into.

"You will both spend the night in the suite," Lana continues.

You and Seungmin immediately turn to look at each other, muttering two different curses at the same time.

"Fuck!"

"Damn it!"

"You are encouraged to use your time to further your connection and prove that you do, in fact, respect the rules of my retreat," Lana warns.

Everyone is already pessimistic about it, they probably think that the two of you will fail which only makes you want to prove them wrong.

"If successful you will earn your watches," Lana announces.

Seungmin looks at everyone and says, "To me, this is not a problem."

This is not a problem to him but everyone knows that the problem is you, you're the one who keeps leading him into temptations.

"You may now leave," Lana orders.

YOU: Oh, my God! How are we going to survive this?

Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!

taglist: @svintsandghosts @abiaswreck @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @idkluvutellme @biribarabiribbaem @skz-streamer @biancaness @hanjisunginc @elizalabs3 @laylasbunbunny @kpopformylife @caitlyn98s @hann1bee @darkypooo @mamieishere @is2cb97 @marvelous-llama @bluenights1899 @sherryblossom @toplinehyunjin @hanjisbeloved @yourmomscuntis2tighy @sunnyseungup @skzhoe4life @stellasays45 @severeanxietyissues @avyskai @imseungminsgf @silentreadersthings @army-stay-noel @rylea08 @simeonswhore @jebetwo @yubinism @devilsmatches @septicrebel @rairacha @cutiespaghetti @ven-fic-recs

#stray kids smut #skz smut #seungmin smut #kim seungmin smut #skz x reader #seungmin x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz fics #skz fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fics #kpop fanfics #seospicy smut #too hot to handle series

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oddeyes588 · 11 months

Text

So... Lostbelt 6 part 2 is out and it's great! I haven't finished it yet but uh... I gotta address something. And it's this scene.

Good scene, right? Beautiful CG, some insight into the way Castoria thinks... but there's something wrong with this scene.

It's translated wrong.

Now if you're like me and you've been keeping up with fan translations for FGO, you may have realized this already, but this translation fundamentally misses the entire point of the scene.

This is what Castoria is supposed to be saying:

I don't want to see her. I don't want to be shown her. She's too much. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to acknowledge it.

After all.

She has no equal. Takes no refuge. No one who understands her. None who can comfort her.

She receives no reward. No goals. No rest. She cannot afford failure, not even a single mistake.

Ah—from the bottom of my heart, I think: "no."

Just how cruel must it be for everyone to smile and acknowledge a king like that?

Do you see the difference? This is a defining scene concerning Castoria's character. Something that sets her apart from every other iteration of Artoria that we've known so far (barring the Servantverse ones). Castoria sees the way of life that her PHH self chose and is repulsed. She can't stand to think about it. At first it seems like she's just buckling under the weight of those expectations, but in reality, Castoria just can't stand to see her.

She can't stand to see this other version of herself willingly throw away her humanity for the sake of an ideal. To give up her own happiness, to give up any chance of ever being understood, all to become a perfect king who the people will love and praise, but never truly understand.

It is a lonely existence, and like a certain redhead in Fate/Stay Night, she can't accept it. Who could bear to live like that? Who would want to live like that? Castoria wants nothing more than to be happy. She wants to make friends her age, eat sweets with them, go shopping with them and walk down the street while holding their hands. She wants to LIVE, and the thought of giving all of that up for the sake of everybody but yourself...

Noble? Sure. But it's mostly just tragic.

That's what this scene is about. Establishing exactly how Castoria feels about her Proper Human History self. She doesn't admire her, if anything it HURTS to see her, to know what she went through, to know what she did.

So WHY was it translated like this?

I'm the only one of my kind. I have nowhere to run. No one understands me. Romance is out of the question.

There's no reward. No finish line. no rest. I can't make so much as a single mistake.

Ahh... So many things I'll never have.

How cruel would I have to be for everyone to accept a king like me with a smile?

Listen, Castoria thinking of her own struggles in parallel to Saber's is interesting, and it isn't NOT there... but that isn't the point of the scene, and foregrounding it like this is uh...

It sure is a decision, that's for sure.

It's not necessarily bad, but it just doesn't fit due to the obvious reason that this isn't what the scene is supposed to be. This scene isn't Castoria seeing a vision of Saber and going "wow, how am I going to live up to this?" as if Saber's story is aspirational.

No. It's a tragedy, and what Castoria is actually thinking is "that's cruel and fucked up"

Anyways I just felt like putting this out there... and before anybody jumps down my throat about how the fan-translation could've been wrong... I did bring this up with a friend who can read Japanese and went to read the node in Japanese. While you could argue that because Caster and Artoria are acknowledged to be different versions of the same person, that Caster is using "I" to refer to the other, but the last line is just outright wrong. The scene is fundamentally about the cruelty of everyone around Saber placing an impossible burden on her, and how Castoria feels seeing that.

#fate grand order #fgo #fgo na #lostbelt 6 #artoria caster #castoria #artoria pendragon #saber #lostbelt 6 spoilers #oh would you look at that its a SURPRISE ODDEYES RANT WOOHOO #this time its about FATE #ABOUT TIME RIGHT #anyways i have a normal amount of thoughts about artoria caster and artoria pendragon

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everydayyoulovemeless · 5 months

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The reaction of the companions of fo3 to the fact that they are in love with Lone Wanderer? Please 🙏

Fo3 Companions Realizing They're In Love With Lone

➼ Word Count » 0.7k ➼ Warnings » Age Gap ➼ Genre » Romantic, Pinning

Charon opts to ignore it. He's got a job to do and is bound by contract. His feelings don't matter for this transaction to work and now is no different. Despite it all, he can't help but notice how much more inclined he is to be of service to you — always offering to take the night shift, or more aware of his surroundings than he normally would be. He's never been so fond of the person holding his contract and it makes him feel so conflicted. What would you say? Would you sell him off if you found out? He's a ghoul, for Godsake, what 19-year-old teen would want him?

Clover isn't sure how to act, so she'll act in the only way she's known how — sexually. She'll run her hands across your shoulders and whisper lowly into your ears just so she can get the message across to you, but in all honesty, she truly isn't sure what it is she feels for you. It'll take he a minute to sit down and think everything over before she comes to the realization that she's in love with you. Once she figures it out, she'll tone her erotic actions toward you down, opting to instead bring you flowers, or clean up around your home. She tries to mimic you in how you treat her, hoping that it'll eventually make you feel the same for her as she does you.

Star Paladin Cross feels a bit conflicted about her feelings for you as you're the kid she helped escort to the vault. She's well aware of her body modifications and the sheer age gap between you two and would, therefore, try to extinguish these feelings at all costs. You two weren't meant to be together, and she needs to get a grip before this turns into anything more than you and her being comrades.

Jericho doesn't care if you catch on to how he feels or not, he'll just pin you up against a wall and try to get you flustered. This has always been his way of showing someone that he's interested in them and he'll stick with this method until you say something about it. He's constantly in your face — whether he be throwing his arms around you or squishing your cheeks between his fingers. He loves the way you swat at him and the cute way you roll your eyes at his antics, however, he doesn't realize that he's in love until you get injured badly. Then reality will hit him and he'll (slightly) drop his douchy act and make an actual attempt at wooing you.

Butch tries to play it off and act the same as he always has, but every time he's around you he can't help but fall into a blushing, flustered mess. He's a teenager who's never actually been in love before, and he hates every second of it. Who do you think you are anyway? Walking around as if you're blissfully unaware of his feelings toward you. He gets meaner towards you — teasing you more often and tripping you whenever the chance arises — but it's only to help try and mask his intentions. He'll only put the pieces together when someone else tries to flirt with you, then he'll pull his pocket knife out, scare the guy off, and go right back to how he was before — a bumbling mess.

Fawkes knew he loved you the second you broke him out of that vault, however, he's well aware of how he looks and would never dream of putting you into a situation like that, so he keeps it to himself. He'll be polite to you — always opening doors and offering to hold onto the heavier items and weapons you may possess, but that's the extent of it. He's older than you and would hate to hold you down in any way, so he'll love you from afar and risk his life for you any chance he gets. It's the only way he can think of to pay you back for being so kind toward him.

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houpss · 2 months

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Hey, can I ask you to write about those little moments between Chan and Lily? maybe their daily life?

I love your work so much, it literally makes me shine and realize that Lily makes people happy 😭☺️

🧊–Peiring:Bang Chan x Hwang Lily ¡!✥

This will be more like a headcanon, simply because I love headcanons and some of my own ideas.I'm also preparing their message, which you will see soon.

🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥

There are references to sex! Not recommended for reading by persons under a certain age

Chan, who takes care of Lily even if he is far away from her. Evening calls, where they talk for so long and talk about their day, small reminder messages, Lily’s mentions in the bubble about the chan and vice versa.

I think she'll sit on his lap while he works on music. Lily's back is pressed against Chan's strong chest, his big hot hand is on her waist, and the other is typing on the laptop. Chan is much calmer and more pleasant to work when his loved one is next to him.

Lily puts him to bed when he has insomnia. She literally asks the manager at night to take her to the second dorm, because when Chan has insomnia, he becomes so soft and talkative :(((

Chan always checks Lily's bag for documents, water, snacks and pads. If she didn’t take any of this, then he will definitely replenish the supplies, and take the documents and carry them himself. Lily's period is not a common topic, but you always need to prepare.

Chan definitely writes songs about Lily! for example Silent Cry or Connected...

Weekend together and with the boys! the guys are having fun somewhere in front, and Chan and Lily walk behind them, holding hands and watching the guys. Sometimes Lily also fools around and Chan likes it so much

There is a song about Chan in Lily's solo album 😉

Lily really helped Chan fall in love with himself, because she loves him so much! she made him believe that he was loved, wonderful, handsome and that everyone needed him so much.

They fly together to Australia to visit Chan's family! ohhh how they love Lily 🥹 Hannah and Lily text a lot, Lily is so interested in this girl. Chan's parents are so kind to Lily and so respectful of Son's choice. Lily keeps in touch with Chan's mom through messengers! Berry is so cute around them.

Lily once invited Chan to have a wedding in Sydney and BOY WAS SO CONFUSED...after all, they had never thought or talked about the possibility of getting married, it was too early for that)

I think that Lily may well be running and jumping in the corridors of the company, and Chan runs after her and tries to calm her down, but he also laughs out loud because of Lily's antics

Stay ship them so much and do so many edits, works and other things with them, but they don’t even imagine that this is all reality :)))

Neither Chan nor Lily like that the company uses them as a method of promotion, and Lily quarrels a lot with the directors.

About Lily...she threatened the director of the company to allow them to continue "Chan's room". Lily took this with a huge risk, but she knew how Chan and Stay liked “Chan’s room” and Lily achieved her goal! The director is wary of Lily on some occasions.

Chan scolded her then, but was so grateful to her.

And the members tease them so much about relationships! and often parody them, most of all Hyunjin and Minho do this.

Chan knows what to do when Lily has severe anxiety attacks. He wraps her in a soft hug, strokes her hands and tells her different stories, it helps her so much to distract herself. He calls her very gently and helps her not to think or feel.

About Lily's Family...oh, first of all, her father hates her because she's an idol and doesn't talk to him anymore. Secondly, he doesn't know that Lily is in a Relationship with Chan. Lily's mother secretly supports her daughter and even attended the Stray kids concert in Seoul in 2023. Lily cried so much then :(((Chan knows Lily’s mother! and she blessed their relationship, which is very important.

HE LOVES HER BOOBS, JUST ACCEPT IT.

About sex

Chan is quite soft, but he is clearly a dom! but there were literally several times when Lily took that leading position

I think he likes soft sex in the morning, filled with praise and vanilla talk.

Soft sex after a hard day and hard, teasing sex when Chan wants Lily to beg and whine

As for oral fixation, they have it equally. They both love it and give it to each other whenever they want.

Lily can also dominate when she just wants to.

He teases Lily even outside the house.

Their favorite position: Lily lying on her back on the mattress (their favorite place is the bed), Lily's legs wrapped around the vat's hips as he thrusts into her.

Sometimes! possible games with vibrators or hyperstimulation.

perhaps (!) he will forbid her to cum, he is so pleased when she begs and whines.

I think Chan is very loud in bed and Lily has soft moans but whines a lot when she gets too horny.

#stray kids headcanons #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #lily skz #skz 9th member #stray kids 9th member #kpop female member #stray kids smut #stray kids female addition #stray kids female member #stray kids female oc #bang chan smut #bang chan #dom!bang chan #skz female member #skz female addition #skz headcanons #skz x reader

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manuellarts · 5 months

Text

Making a post because I CAN'T be normal about them and those HCs have been begging to be let out 🤸

Little disclaimer before I start, I will be referring to Kakashi hair twin as Sah, and he, and flat hair as Mekh, and she or they, because that is how I see them personally. The names aren't canon, but I like to use them as they seem to fit. These HCs are also my own and you may disagree, but they are based on my own analysis of subtle things found in the game, and expanded upon.

So let's start with this:

The appearance and ' mask '

When it comes to the mask part, it is moreso relating to Mekh. But let's start with Sah:

Sah's Personality: Sah's personality is on the confident, playful side. He's very much of a jokester, and tends to make jokes almost out of anything, which might make him seem silly or simple minded. This is not entirely true, as Sah is very talented, incredibly skilled, athletic, and a major visionary. He tends however to focus on the big picture of things rather than on the details. He would be described as someone whose heart is quite pure and honest, as it doesn't hold any sort of presumptions or hidden intentions. He says things as they are, and sometimes may come off as blunt. He values honesty to the point that almost everything about him might be laid out on a silver platter. He might get competitive at times, but not to the point where it might tarnish his relationship with his competitors ( namely his twin ). Speaking of which, the fact that they are so complementary is seen as an advantage to him, and he strives on the fact that they build off of each other. He is quite aware of his own limitations and weaknesses, but he never lets this come in his way. Although a prideful person ( and rightfully so ), it does not lean into boastfulness and condescension. Any kind of boastfulness would mostly be playful exaggeration. He might be a little over-dramatic, at times.

Mekh's Personality: When it comes to Mekh, her personality is mostly reliant on the mask. Much like Sah's, her persona is very theatrical, flamboyant and seemingly confident, as well as prideful ( and rightfully so ). While Sah seems to surpass Mekh in rapidity and agility, which doesn't undermine her own outstanding capabilities, she seems to surpass him when it comes to estimation, observation, and strategy. She seems to be more serious than her brother, and pays great attention to the way that she is perceived, especially when she is in the company of others. Her behavior might differ greatly when she is alone with her brother, or in the presence of other orders or sky kids. It seems that a lot of effort is put into appearing as approachable and likeable. Mekh might often act as the voice of reason and focuses on the utmost details rather than the big picture. She also gets competitive, but often to a fault. However, she might often cover up her feelings of defeat with a forced joke, or another challenge. And this is where the mask part ends.

Now, this is purely based on my own headcanons. I thought such a dynamic would be incredibly interesting considering they are siblings; well, two parts of the same star, amirite? So, enjoy!

Unmasked :

When it comes to Sah, there is not much that can be said about a mask, because his mask isn't false, per se. What can be said however, is that he may be repressing a massive amount of things and covering it up with a go-with-the-flow attitude, with humor as a way to deal with things he would rather not think about. All of this doesn't mean that he is not a hopeful person; on the contrary. He very much clings to hope so much that it may be to a fault, stopping him from facing the reality of certain things. He would rather not face them, as he knows that they may weigh him down considerably.

The mask part concerns Mekh much more, since the mask is a sort of imitation of Sah.

Let me explain.

In reality, Mekh seems to have a deep complex of inferiority issue. Although they are meant to be ' one ' , Mekh doesn't see this the same way as Sah. While Sah sees as complementarity, she sees as inferiority, and often feels second to him. Despite her genuine care and love for her brother, she is often consumed by feelings of jealousy and envy. Both twins admire the other, but while Sah might openly admit it, Mekh would think twice and thrice before even admitting to it. Mekh's admiration for Sah bleeds into envy, and the desire to BE the person that one admires. Her competitiveness might often gnaw at her, and she takes any defeat to heart, while Sah may brush it off and use the opportunity to build off of a loss. Mekh is an over-thinker, and to a fault. While this makes for great observation skills, it also narrows her field of vision to her own perception of things, rendering her more selfish than her brother in that regard. But once again, all of this is hidden behind a mask; this turmoil of emotion is unknown to Sah, although he might subconsciously be aware of it to a certain extent.

Unlike most people with a self-centered view, Mekh is deeply self-aware, and often resents her own feelings and incapacity to take things as freely as her brother.

Her strengthened ability to see also renders her incapable of ignoring detail, and thus being struck by the harsh reality of things. Unlike Sah, who represses the things that weigh upon him and clings to the tiniest bits of hope, Mekh is incapable of doing so and struggles to see hope in what seems to be an eternal cycle of life and death. Her resentment might even lead her to attempt to drag her brother into her own, darker view of the world, since she cannot seem to elevate herself to his level. This competition between them seems to be one-sided, and wholly internal, as once again, this is internal turmoil that she does not share. In fact, she may tend to be extremely cryptic about things, which frustrates Sah, who values honesty and just blurts things out regardless of their nature. Mekh always thinks of repercussions, and fears to expose any sort of weakness that might be used against her. While Sah wouldn't hesitate to show vulnerability, Mekh would never allow herself to do so, as she fears that her mask may drop, and her deep insecurity may show.

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mayflowers515 · 2 months

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Smiling Critters: Non Lore-Heavy Headcanons!

This is just what I personally think they'd be like in my AU, if you guys have different interpretations, that's fine!

(I could also do scenarios based on the headcanons too if you guys wish! )

Reference post for characters if needed: https://www.tumblr.com/mayflowers515/743811211445010432/smiling-critters-in-gacha-life-2?source=share

Kickin would 100% call his friends a specific nickname. It's his way of approving that they're cool to him. He barely calls them by their actual name unless the situation is serious. Here is what he'd call everyone:

Bubba = Nerd (in the most affectionate way possible here); Can also imagine Kickin calling him sir or mister sometimes

Bobby = Beary or BB (may or may not be based off of content I've seen with these nicknames for her-)

Hoppy = Hopscotch (calls her by last name because he thinks it's cool already; Hoppy would use that logic against him and call him Chicken occasionally); He also likes to call her Hops for short

CatNap = Sleepyhead, Sleeping Beauty

DogDay = Mr. Brightside, DD

Crafty = Princess (that would probably freak Crafty out since she thinks he knows of her status; in reality, he calls her this because of her vibes, especially after a certain scenario I have planned for her)

Picky = Piggy (doesn't really have any other idea for a nickname, but he wants to come up with one that sounds "more cool"; tried this by calling her PP, but didn't realize how bad it was until the first and only time he used it for her)

Kickin would call himself KC, since y'know, he wants everyone to know he's cool, too! (credits to mr. story for the idea)

2. Crafty has a very good singing voice. She doesn't show it off for a couple reasons though:

Because she's a little shy about showing it off in the first place

Doesn't want to overpower her friends if they sing together

She's worried her friends will find a way to link her voice to her background (will discuss more in a future post)

(Based off a voice canon video I saw for her where her singing voice was based off of Fluttershy's from "Filli Vanilli")

3. When Picky isn't cooking or eating, she likes to dance and tend to her personal garden. It's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, but she also has some flowers and shrubs, too! She likes to use products from her garden for her cooking sometimes.

4. CatNap's house smells like all kinds of specific essential oils. He is the one who uses them the most of the Critters, which helps set the atmosphere for his calming home.

5. I already mentioned before that Crafty can never keep her clothes clean for the whole day. But she really likes her overall dresses, so she keeps a lot of the same ones just in case one of them gets too messy.

6. Kickin is great with comebacks and wordplay. Even in the toughest of situations, he usually pieces together slick phrases. The only exceptions are if he were to start like-liking someone or if he had an idol he admired. He'd get more nervous and fumble his words by that point.

7. Here is what I like to think the Critters want to be when they become adults (they're still children in this AU):

CatNap (counselor; something to do with aromatherapy too most likely)

DogDay (doesn't know; he hasn't thought about it)

Bobby (nurse or maybe a therapist)

Crafty (artist of course; may be more inclined to be a painter)

Kickin (journalist or reporter?; I can see him commentating on things like sports and current events lol)

Hoppy (soccer player or coach)

Bubba (professor, but not sure of which subject rn)

Picky (chef, no surprise there. She wishes to run her own restaurant someday)

8. Inspired by some comics, but CatNap's tail can extend to really long lengths. His friends use this as an advantage to drag him along or hold onto him when he's not aware of his surroundings or he's asleep. His tail can only extend to so long though (maybe four-five feet?) so eventually it can get pulled. He doesn't like that. His friends realize this the hard way, and from that point forward, they tend to drag him along their adventures in a wagon. Typically DogDay is the one to watch over the wagon.

9. In contrast to CatNap, DogDay is much more nervous during the nighttime. He tries to hide this to not worry his friends, but they can usually see through him. He doesn't exactly get the best sleep all the time, yet he still manages to operate smoothly for his friends (maybe through coffee? I can see him drinking that-)

10. Possible fears of all the Critters

Bobby (being alone and abandoned, canon; can also see her fearing bugs too, but she can't bring herself to kill them since she loves and values all life regardless)

Picky (sickness, a part of this plays into her need to stick to a healthy lifestyle, and she stresses out whenever she feels she made too many unhealthy choices; she also hates being sick because then she can't provide for her friends)

Kickin (sudden noise and heights; he would try to hide this to keep his cool image, so he brushes off his fears so others can't see it from the outside. However, on the inside and sometimes more obviously the outside, he is TERRIFIED)

Bubba (failing his friends and leading them down the wrong direction; tries to prevent this from happening by being as well-informed on as many topics as he can think)

DogDay (the dark; he always needs a nightlight in his room so he can go to sleep better)

CatNap (his second scent; more elaboration on that sometime soon but if you know what I'm referring to, you know...; can also seem him fearing water a little since y'know, cat behavior-)

Hoppy (needles; I just don't see her holding up well at the doctor's personally-)

Crafty (public audience; she can only handle so many people watching her at once until she feels she needs to get out)

11. People would expect Bubba and Crafty to constantly be at odds due to their different thinking approaches (left brain + right brain), but they actually get along quite well! They may have a couple disagreements, but otherwise they are usually open to what the other is saying. Basically, an "I want what you have" kind of situation but downplayed. Mainly since Bubba isn't as good with thinking outside of the box meanwhile Crafty isn't the most book smart. They would bounce off each other well. They would work well together when it comes to devising plans with their friends. Bubba would explain the plan while Crafty sketches the plan's details.

12. Crafty can draw at fast speeds, but she can't draw anything super detailed. Still, she is surprised herself that it doesn't look too bad when she rushed it.

13. Speaking of speed, Hoppy can, in addition to moving fast, speak fast and somehow still remember what she says. When others don't process what she says, she would be a bit more annoyed and say it slower. She doesn't speak fast often, only in situations where she is really enthusiastic or she's in a panic.

14. In terms of their more animal-like qualities, DogDay is the most expressive of the Critters. He wags his tail and raises his ears a lot depending on the circumstance.

15. Bobby can have very bad anxiety in stressful situations. Worse case scenario, she may even just ball up and become unresponsive to stimuli.

16. PB&Js are still Picky's favorite food, but she eats them in moderation when she's felt good on what she ate for the rest of the day. She will refuse to eat them when she's stressed or if she gets sick. She gets like this with any unhealthy food in general actually, just more inclined to do it with PB&Js.

17. (Based on that road trip image of them) They're all kids, but in their world, they're able to drive. Still, there are some Critters you should trust behind the wheel more than others:

Bubba (not only would he be safe on the road, but his great memory basically makes him a walking GPS, assuring an instant trip to their destination without getting lost; despite this, it's usually #2 who drives more because he's usually tasked as the voice of reason to make sure no one riots while someone is behind the wheel; he also slightly manages his memory better when he isn't multitasking)

DogDay (is usually the one that drives everyone when they're out on road trips. He is generally very calm behind the wheel and will encourage others on the way to wherever they're going, so he's also considered fun to have as the driver by his friends)

Picky and Bobby (tied; both would do just fine behind the wheel and would both be careful of the cars around them and the passengers in the car; would give Picky the edge here though since she doesn't have to raise her seat as much just to drive compared to Bobby)

Kickin (would care more about looking cool on the road than actually driving well. When he isn't focused on his ego, he doesn't drive too badly. He may have a slight bit of road rage, though)

CatNap (he would be better during night time trips as he is more active then, but even then it wouldn't happen often since driving can get stressful. Also, at any other time besides night, he runs the risk of sleeping on the spot even while driving, so no, please don't let him drive…) (ngl, him and #7 could be interchangeable here; both have drawbacks whenever they're behind the wheel-)

Crafty (she's pretty mediocre when it comes to driving. Her mind usually spirals in a panic whenever she's behind the wheel, and she'd focus more on the panic of driving at all than actually driving, so for her sanity, don't let her drive...)

Hoppy (never, EVER have her behind the wheel. The car will crash and burn in seconds... She can get really impulsive when it comes to driving and I can imagine her having some bad road rage; the Critters let her drive once after she pleaded with them so many times; probably in a situation where for some reason DogDay and/or Bubba couldn't do it. She led them in a ditch, crashing into someone's party down below, unintentionally of course. Everyone was okay, but they never let her drive again after that)

18. In addition to wanting to be the cool friend, I can also imagine Kickin wanting to joke around and make his friends laugh from time to time. He also pulls harmless pranks sometimes (sometimes he is unaware how his pranks potentially hurt others until it's too late though-)

19. Bobby has a really big sweet tooth. Especially when it comes to chocolate. Also, if anyone were to give her a chocolate heart, she would melt in their arms on the spot (doesn't matter if the intention is platonic or romantic, she just loves receiving chocolates, especially the hearts)

20. Hoppy would have the most game equipment of her friends. She has equipment that ranges across all kinds of sports as well as other physical activities.

21. If Crafty was given sidewalk chalk and there was pavement outside of her friends' houses (though I don't think this is the case in canon sadly), she would use it to draw something outside her friends' houses as a way to show appreciation.

22. Bubba would have his own mini library inside his house will all different genres of books. The books of this library are books he collected that were from his family's or from what he found when they were out and about. He occasionally lets his friends borrow books from him if they need to.

23. The Critters are vegan. Things like burgers and milk come from other sources for them. So no worries, in this version, the burger Picky was about to eat in the intro was sourced from plants (she wouldn't actually eat animals... right? *cough cough* canon version... *cough)

24. CatNap would be the best at telling spooky stories. He already has a naturally quiet voice. All he'd need to do to make it sound more spoopy for his friends is give it a creepy tone, and already that makes him a good scary storyteller...

25. DogDay doesn't really make his own food often, but he actually does like baking more than people give him credit for. His favorite thing to bake is cookies (especially ones that look like dog treats!)

26. This meme explained for Critters:

"We have food at home" - Bubba, Picky

"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" - Hoppy, DogDay, Kickin, Bobby

In between these two sections: Crafty (depends on her mood)

*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *Orders a single black coffee and leaves* - CatNap (not meaning to be rude, but just doesn't want to put up with ordering for everyone so he orders for him; he's too tired for that ok?*

27. CatNap has the worst reaction time and is the most clumsy of the Critters. It's literally canon that the guy trips on his own tail. That HAS to be a thing here. It just has to.

28. This may come as a surprise, but CatNap actually does like drinking coffee, except he mainly has it at nighttime so he can stay up and help people in need of assistance at nighttime; he puts a lot of creamer and milk in his coffee, though- He doesn't like black cofffee (I imagine in the McDonalds meme he takes the coffee home with him and prepares it with his usual creamer and milk)

Welp, this is pretty long and scrambled. Sorry if some characters have more headcanons than others. If I think of other hcs I can update this! I do actually have more I'd like to share sometime, but the ones I'm thinking about are more lore-heavy for the characters so I'll put that in a separate post :)

#smiling critters #dogday #catnap #bobby bearhug #craftycorn #bubba bubbaphant #picky piggy #kickin chicken #hoppy hopscotch #justsomepersonalhcs

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fun-k-board · 7 months

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What type of Cards Against Humanity players would the Mortal Kombat X Kast be?

Note(s) : I have not played this game fully and I also haven't written for these characters before, this is almost definitely inaccurate and cringe, but I'm free.

Kung Jin -

Goes the dark humor route, but plays it with a complete straight face, he does laugh, but purposefully never at his own cards because he thinks it'll be 'suspicious'. It becomes a tell to see what his card is. He never picks what the person choosing would find funny, which means he usually never gets any black cards.

He will absolutely rage quit, or just try and get others to rage quit by being snarky and incredibly salty about his losing odds.

Takeda Takahashi -

He's not extremely dark humored (?) in his cards, but one of his cards made Liu Kang faint once. He typically goes to dad humor, the ones where you laugh at them but don't actually pick them.

He's never actually angry when he loses, sure, he's a bit salty especially if he finds his cards funny, but, at the end of the day, it's just a game.

Cassie Cage -

It depends on a, the black card, and b, the person choosing. She can win easily if it's her parents or Jacqui, she knows their humor, but if it's someone like Kitana she's screwed. Very 50/50 with her win chances.

She'll only get angry if Kung Jin wins, they're wlw and mlm hostility.

Jacqui Briggs -

Her cards are always hit or miss, she either puts her best card down on a prompt but someone else has a better card, or she saves her good cards until it's too late. She tends to get little to no black cards.

Never gets angry at a loss, she's pretty competitive during it, but afterwards even if she loses, she's just happy to spend time with everybody.

Kitana -

Gets confused on the point of the game, she's trying to keep her dignity and plays the less Inappropriate cards, whenever a particularly dark humor one comes along, she sneaks it back into the pile and picks a different card. She never gets black cards.

Doesn't get angry, she finds the game a bit pointless anyway.

Mileena -

The amount of horror this lady thinks of on the daily can't compare to any cards in any deck, she somehow always brings the worst one out, hardly ever wins because people are too horrified to pick her cards.

Will attempt murder if she doesn't win every round.

Johnny Cage -

Always goes the outwardly dad humor route, he rarely ever picks dark humor cards to put down unless that's all he has. Usually people can tell it's him, so he only wins if the person choosing likes him.

He says that he's only pretending to be salty as a joke, but in reality? It definitely makes him lose pride for at least one evening. Everyone can tell. And they all make fun of him.

Sonya Blade -

She plays with dry yet witty humor, ones you'd expect to see in a teen drama series or something, she's always relying on what she thinks her friends will find funny, and gets black cards regularly.

Will only rage if someone gets a black card and she finds the card genuinely unfunny, she can get over losing if she has a laugh over the card they chose, but if not, she's holding that over that person's head for years.

Kenshi Takahashi -

He's more of a judge, makes sure nobody commits murder, and makes sure nobody cheats. He can't play for obvious reasons, but he does secretly root for certain players, and may or may not excuse cheating if it means someone he doesn't like will lose.

Hanzo Hasashi -

He's silent the entire time, doesn't pick dark humor cards, and doesn't pick any funny ones, either, it's always a deadpan and scorchingly dry card, he's never won a single black card, everyone can tell it's his card, and nobody will pick his.

He's treating it more like a game of chess, and so when he loses he sort of just goes 'welp, could've been smarter.' And moves on.

Liu Kang -

He doesn't find any cards funny to be honest, and he mostly relies on how other people react to see what they find funny, as such, he has no black cards until the end, where he makes a comeback so insane everybody fully believes he cheats.

Won't rage if the comeback fails and he loses, however, he will get annoyed if Kung Jin wins. ( No but why was this man so outraged in every intro like calm tf down )

Kung Lao -

He won't be too sour if he loses, he's past the point of being insecure at every loss, but he definitely does try too hard to be funny. It makes everybody cringe. He gets at least one or two black cards on a bad day, but he plays too much into his humor rather than the person choosing.

Jackson Briggs -

Plays a lot of dry and witty type humor cards down, or ones where it's an actual answer to the card that would make sense, he's a sort of mix of Hanzo and Johnny, so he typically gets a few black cards, and wins maybe.

Doesn't get angry at all, he's just happy to be here.

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virtualstarrr · 4 months

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Revolutionary Girl Utena and Neon Genesis Evangelion: Parallels Between Characters and Their Relationships

PREFACE: I wrote this a few years ago and never published it; I was around 15 and I don't think everything I said was entirely accurate, however I do feel like I made connections between these two shows that I haven't seen many talk about, so I'm gonna post it. If anything I say is off, feel free to correct me!

Anyway:

Something I've realized while rewatching Neon Genesis Evangelion is how similar Rei and Gendo's dynamic is to Akio and Anthy's in Revolutionary Girl Utena. Here are some characters and dynamics that I thought were similar, most of them revolving around the characters' connections to Anthy or Rei:

Asuka and Nanami as Antagonists

Anthy and Rei both have very quiet personalities. Both are stoic and appear off-putting to others around them. The characters Asuka and Nanami similarly hold disdain for Rei/Anthy and berate them for being weird.

Nanami harbors jealousy towards Anthy after seeing her in a relationship with her brother. Even though she resents her, the two are both in similar incestuous relationships. Anthy's situation could be a reflection of what could happen to Nanami if she took her relationship with Toga too far. But luckily Nanami realizes that she never really had feelings for her brother, and that she just wanted his validation. But before Nanami realizes all that, she acts as an antagonist to Anthy. She's constantly bullying her, and calling her out for her "weird" behavior. Asuka is similar with Rei. She's not necessarily jealous of Rei but she does project her insecurities on Rei, just look at the elevator scene. She calls Rei a doll for being subservient to Gendo, but she herself is afraid of becoming one. Nanami and Asuka, on the surface, couldn't be any more different than Anthy and Rei, but in reality Anthy and Rei represent a lot of the Nanami and Asuka's insecurities, or reflect the situations they're in.

Gendo and Akio, Both Abusers

Anthy and Rei are both extremely loyal to Akio and Gendo. Throughout each series, they are used to attain Akio/Gendo's goals, with Gendo's being to reunite with Yui and Akio's to maintain power over everyone in Ohtori. Because of how reliant Gendo and Akio's plans are on Rei/Anthy, they both get to know a lot about what's going on behind the scenes in the story, where other characters may not.

Akio and Gendo are very similar to each other, too.

Akio is able to manipulate people using sex. He even sexually assaults Anthy. Anthy endures Akio's abuse for so long that she's scared of leaving him; what if she escapes and finds that the world outside Ohtori is even more cruel?

Like Akio, Gendo also uses sex to control the women around him. He takes advantage of both Akagi and Ritsuko, disposing of them when he no longer needs them, just like Rei fears he will do to her when her use runs out.

Rei exists to obey Gendo. She's a clone, made to serve his desires. Rei wants to leave Gendo, she wants to die but he needs her to achieve Human Instrumentality. All she knows is to be obedient to Gendo, so she continues to follow his orders without considering her own feelings.

Anthy and Rei are cursed to serve Akio and Gendo, and though both dislike their situations, they see no hope of escaping. Not until Utena and Shinji step into their lives.

Utena and Shinji, the Protagonists

Utena spends the whole series selfishly playing the role of the prince, but once she begins to understand Anthy's situation, she is able to give up princehood and inspire Anthy to leave Akio. Utena doesn't save Anthy, but she gives her the courage to leave her situation, to decide for herself that she wants to leave.

Shinji shows interest in Rei's feelings. He encourages her to express herself, and tells her to smile. While Gendo sees Rei as a disposable clone, Shinji cares about her in a way Gendo never did. He wants her to be happy. While Shinji's motives are still selfish (with Shinji failing to understand Rei, just as Utena still treats Anthy as an object in her attempt to "save her" through the duels), he still shows more concern for her than she's ever experienced from anyone else.

[The scene where Shinji tells Rei to smile visually reminds me of RGU's finale. Shinji looks down on Rei, just as Utena does Anthy. Shinji tries to pull Rei out of the entry plug (the duty she's bound to— being a pilot, being Gendo's servant), as Utena tries to pull Anthy out of her coffin (trapped with Akio, the revolving system of capitalism and patriarchy, as well as literally being stuck in the cycle of abuse).]

Rei chooses to sacrifice herself, and after her death is replaced by her clone Rei 3. Rei 3 carries Rei 2's emotions but doesn't understand them at first. In the End of Evangelion, when Gendo tries to use Rei to start the Third Impact, she rejects him and chooses to start the Third Impact on her own will. (Possibly because of Shinji's influence).

Gendo and Akio Again

I think the similarities in these scenes are interesting.

Gendo stands over Rei as Akio stands over Anthy— each man exerting power over these girls. Gendo reaches down to grope Rei, trying to control her, and Anthy reaches up towards Akio to comfort him; Akio is using his emotions to manipulate and maintain his control over Anthy.

The lighting in these shots is similar. I don't know how either Anno or Ikuhara meant for the colors used in these scenes to be interpreted. I can only give my interpretation. Red is predominant, especially in the shot from Evangelion. A color that can represent passion. Perhaps this is Gendo's passion for power, for Yui, for eternity? Love and romance are often represented by red, and that includes lust. The red background could show Gendo's lust for Yui— literally in the sense that he's attracted to her as her partner— but most importantly, in the sense that he lusts after her, he desires to return to her. This lust extends to Rei, Gendo's recreation of Yui as well as a vehicle to which he can use to reunite with Yui. [Note: it's implied that Gendo sexually abused Rei, which isn't surprising considering she's a clone of Yui and the way he uses sex to control and manipulate. In the scene pictured above, he gropes Rei's breast— this is right before Rei rejects Gendo and takes the form of Lilith.]

Not only does red represent lust, but also power. It's a bold color, dominating both of these shots. It contributes to the sense of control Gendo and Akio have over Rei and Anthy. Red is used in this context often in Utena. The character Touga manipulates the girls around him in a similar fashion as Akio and Gendo (while also being manipulated by Akio). He manipulates Utena and his sister Nanami, taking advantage of their affection for him (both girls later realizing they never felt for Touga romantically). And Touga's red hair color, like other characters in Utena, signifies this power he holds.

In the RGU shot, red mainly covers Akio. Yellow is also prominent, centering around Anthy. Yellow is most often associated with Nanami in Utena, who represents jealousy— as I mentioned earlier, in her relationship with Anthy—, as well as Nanami's innocence, and perhaps ignorance.

Akio holds control over his Anthy, his victim. Her innocence is highlighted in this scene— she's not ignorant to what's going on, nor is she innocent in that sense. She's informed of and contributes to Akio's system. However, she finds herself trapped in this system, making her Akio's victim. In this sense the innocence in her attempt to comfort him contrasts his desire for power. He knows what he's doing. He cries fake tears. In the climax of RGU, Akio weaponizes his emotions in an attempt to get Anthy to stay. The colors emphasize Akio's power and Anthy's lack of agency in comparison.

Akio is trying to maintain his power over Anthy through these false tears.

Conclusion

Ultimately Gendo and Akio fail to maintain their control. Anthy breaks out of Akio's system, and Rei becomes Lilith on her own accord. It doesn't completely end their goals. Akio's system is still maintained for the rest who chose not to leave, and Gendo is able to reunite with Yui during the Third Impact— even if it is a false perception of her. But their initial plans fall apart, and the characters they've been attempting to manipulate are eventually able to escape. This doesn't just apply to Rei and Anthy, but also the other protagonists— the pilots whom Nerv abuses for their goals, and Utena and any of the other characters who find the courage to leave Ohtori. Evangelion focuses on Shinji's monologue primarily, but the show's message inspires the audience, and by extension the other characters, to live a fulfilling life despite everything. Utena and Anthy both escape Ohtori, but the possibility is there for any of the other characters that question Ohtori (a larger representation of abuse, capitalism, patriarchy, and systems that bind us) to escape as well. Ultimately these characters, these people, these systems don't have as much control as they project onto others. They influence so many aspects of life, but it's not impossible to defy them.

Ok, I've just been incoherently rambling so maybe this post has no point, but hopefully it makes SOME sense. Maybe, maybe you can see what I mean by all of (or at least any of) this. Sorry if this makes zero sense and means nothing. That is, if anyone does see this. But hopefully some enjoy my ramblings

#revolutionary girl utena #neon genesis evangelion #analysis #evangelion analysis #revolutionary girl utena analysis #utena #rgu #evangelion #anthy himemiya #akio ohtori #gendo ikari #rei ayanami #tw: csa #tw: inc*st #tw: abuse

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nobodypunk · 9 months

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Do you think Yuki truly loved both Kaname and zero , cause she was satisfied with zero's blood but with Kaname's blood her thirst wasn't entirely quenched ?

A Vampire Knight ask in MY inbox?? *Debby Ryan hair tuck* (Thank you I've literally been dying to talk about VK at any given moment)

So I think that Yuuki loved them both, yes. But if we're talking "True Love" I think it's a lot more nuanced than that. (I'm also going to ignore the FAMILIAL dynamics in this rant bc we already know)

Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Kaname:

Kaname saving Yuuki from a "bad vampire" is her first human memory. He visits on occasion and is nothing but kind, caring, if not distant towards Yuuki. Yuuki finds herself seeking out his attention and looking forward to seeing him as it's a rare treat. She has only ever known since she was small that he will a) protect her , b) be kind to her, and c) he's "not like other vampires" because he is her savior. The only identifier of his vampirism she has as a child is his fangs, other than that seemingly nothing else about him is like a vampire.

In middle school, she accidentally sees Kaname feeding on Ruka and this challenges her opinion of him "not being like other vampires". She's introduced to the reality that a) Kaname is a vampire, and b) that she does not truly know him. Much like realizing that though our parents may have raised us, though we have known people all our juvenile lives, it doesn't mean we know everything about them and the intricacies of their character; That they are people, and not the objects of affection that we have placed on a pedestal.

After this realization, Yuuki puts distance between herself and Kaname, using "-sama" and treating him differently due to her anxieties around vampirism and her glorification of his saving her (in her mind, the only thing that separates him from not being the vampire that wishes to feed on her and cause her harm, the "bad vampire").

I feel as though much of Yuuki's feelings towards Kaname at the start of her time at Cross Academy are romanticized anxiety (she has feelings of anxiety and is uncomfortable around him, but those feelings are easily mistaken for feelings of "butterflies", excitement, or attraction). She has conflict within herself: being afraid of Kaname as a vampire, not knowing his true intentions and character, as opposed to her experience of being saved and his kindness towards her. And throughout the series of events at Cross Academy, because Kaname withholds the truth from her, lies to her, and consistently gaslights her, all she has keeping her afloat is faith that he has good intentions. That's not a true or healthy relationship because there is no trust or communication between them.

It isn't until after Yuuki is turned that truth is finally being obtained and Kaname comes clean about his actions for the past 10 years. They are able to build some intimacy between them. He finally shares his vulnerable past with her, as he views this as a chance for her to unconditionally accept him. However, Yuuki remains in conflict, because he has withheld the truth for so long, and she feels personally responsible for his suffering. When she suggests they start over as equals in the relationship, Kaname takes this as her ultimate rejection of him (though they have both consistently tried to bear one another's burdens).

Kaname then sets the stage for his self sabotage and plot to indiscriminately kill all purebloods and to do so he feels he must estrange Yuuki (and Adiou) from him in order to do so uninhibited.

Kaname betrays them (or appears to, even though I feel that's almost worst) and later Yuuki confronts him that she will never abandon him. Which I find to be one of the good examples of Yuuki's love. She will love him despite that which he has done, but she still believes in stopping his destruction and holding him accountable for what he's done.

Ultimately, Kaname tells her that when they were together she couldn't smile from her heart (the motif for true love), but she was the light of his life. He then sacrifices himself for the greater good (which conveniently absolves him of everything he did prior) and he remains a monolith looming over Yuuki's life.

I think Yuuki had great love for him but do I think it qualifies as "true love"? If things had been different, I think they could have had a successful relationship, but ultimately I find them deeply incompatible. Kaname is too depressed and has 10,000 years of firmly rooted self hatred to be capable of having a relationship, and Yuuki will never truly understand him and what he went through, and has immense guilt over it. Did they have love for each other? Absolutely. Did they have trust, open communication, and all that entails with a healthy relationship? Absolutely not. I don't think that either of them could provide the other with what they needed.

Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Zero:

Their relationship starts as Yuuki seeing Zero suffering and she decides to be his caretaker, soothing him and stopping his self harm. She recognizes his fear and pain and can sympathize with it. They build a friendship in which they are around each other constantly, and feel comfortable to tease one another, tutor and take notes for the other, and talk about serious topics. They have a friendship. (Which I feel like Kaname and Yuuki never had)

Zero is then revealed to be a vampire to Yuuki in the most literal way, a vampire who drinks her blood. Yuuki again has her reality shattered, but takes the blame for not noticing. She catches Zero trying to unalive himself and she takes responsibility for his life upon herself. And it isn't until later, she learns that Zero will inevitably become a Level E and be ended, that she thinks of the only possible solution: to sacrifice herself to prolong his life. For me this is the ultimate example of her love, that she would put her life on the line for his (especially with her fear and anxiety about vampires).

Yuuki then tries to make their "unforgiveable, forbidden acts" as pedestrian as possible, to put Zero at ease. Zero acknowledges her suffering and takes full responsibility for it. He opens up about his past to her, and she inserts herself into the Shizuka drama to try and save him again. Zero asks her "What am I to you?" because he has always known of her feelings for Kaname, and is confused why Yuuki would sacrifice herself time and time again if she didn't have love for him. When Yuuki tries to answer this for herself, she thinks about how she doesn't want him to disappear, she wants him to smile, and how she should be afraid of Zero but she can't look away.

Zero always encourages her not to pretend or hide her feelings, which is when she asks him if she would be stronger if she was a vampire because she's been feeling insecure about her lack of identity. She's afraid that expressing this fear to Zero has hurt him, and so she WILLS HERSELF TO REMEMBER HER PAST WHICH STARTS UNRAVELLING JURI'S SPELL ON HER.

In this period, Zero does nothing but support her and offer her solutions to find the truth about her past. He tells her that his life is hers, and that she is his priority and she can burden him with her thoughts and feelings, and she has every right to do so. He helps her confront Kaname on multiple occasions.

When Zero comes to check on Yuuki in one of her hallucinations, she admits that being Zero's caretaker was her own selfish way of giving herself identity, to help her compensate for having no memories and no family.

When Yuuki is turned, Zero is blinded by his hatred. They kill Rido together but Zero is in conflict with her. He confesses his feelings, and doesn't expect her to reciprocate, and asks if her worries are gone now that the has her memories. He then promises to kill her then next time he sees her. (Spoiler alert, he doesn't) Yuuki sobs as she doesn't want to be his enemy, realizes his feelings for her, and decides to lock away her feelings about him.

Every interaction they have after that, is stumbling, and awkward. She's admitted to Kaname that her thirst cannot be quenched by him alone, that she desires Zero as well.

When she reinstates the nightclass, she still worries about him but their relationship is different, and expresses a desire that things go back to the way they were between them. They say things like "treasure yourself more" to each other, Zero still shows he cares and his intentions are not to kill her, but he's struggling with his hatred. Then Zero finds out that Kaname has puppeteered him all along, and they team up against Kaname's murder spree.

Then we have the masquerade where they pretend not to know each other, and they share a kiss. Yuuki speculates that if they were both human, that would have been the normal course of action for them. Then she takes his memory because she plans to give up her life for Kaname to be human, and she can't bear the thought of Zero thirsting for her/grieving her. Kaname admits to her that Zero's love for her wasn't orchestrated by him (which both Zero and Yuuki were uncertain about). Zero remembers like two days later, and decides to accept her for who she is, to fight WITH Kaname against the vampire hoards because he loves Yuuki more than he hates Kaname.

After Kaname dies, Zero tells Yuuki that he'll always be there for her and to take her time. He is a surrogate father to Ai, and bloodshares with Yuuki, he is EXTREMELY patient with her and her anxieties around loving after Kaname, and their relationship overall is communicative, loving, and healthy. And Zero makes her smile from the bottom of her heart.

I think that they make mistakes with each other, they've had their pit falls but overcome them, they have an understanding of one another and they ultimately love and accept one another. I think that she was able to experience true, unconditional, romantic love with Zero. Her thirst may not have been quenched fully, but Zero gave a lot more than he took in the end (honesty, communication, reciprocation, etc) .

And she still had love for Kaname after he was gone. It was a love that colored her life. Even Zero acknowledges that the way Yuuki cares for him, was learned from Kaname. It's simultaneously sad and unfair, and beautiful and romantic. We are made up of our experiences, and love in toxic relationships isn't a fault, but toxic behaviour is.

Well anyway, that's my big long rant on that.

#LONG POST #vampire knight #yuuki kuran #yuuki #yuuki cross #yuki kuran #yuki cross #zero kiryu #zero kiryuu #kaname #kaname kuran #zero #i like seeing all sides #and i'm not here for a shipping war #zeki #everyone is valid in liking the character they like and shipping the ship they ship

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qvrcll · 2 years

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A familiar beat — Rhaenyra Targaryen

warnings: smut, reader’s gender nor race is specified, rhaenyra is older, past her marriage with ser laenor, mentions of gore/blood.

authors note: i did not like how this turned out but i loved writing for her. i think i have ideas for aemond in the works, but requests are appreciated. enjoy :)

blurb: With Ser Laenor thumbing his side of the bargain the Princess had made years ago, Rhaenyra seeks pleasure from another desperately. You, her personal guard, have always felt compelled to fill that station.

“Soon or late, you may get one that looks like you”.

The night was getting harder to pass by, with the winds drenching any sound, yet Rhaenyra’s heart thrummed with the bedsheets, giving life where she could. Her body was exerted with grief, with the promise of scowls that would follow her the next day: vultures, ready to feed on my carcass.

But she gave her share to the room — the faint beat of blood flooding her veins, the gentle course of her breaths that upset and pushed away her from what was to follow. Stories that may or may not be true, surely. Alicent, most definitely.

She goes to lift her head, to check the time, to clearly identify something that is not out of her knowledge. But the effort turns empty-handed, with the sky beating any light outside - there is no one to greet her, here, in the soft, wide area of her bed. Laenor is surely... somewhere. The hour is late but a desire for something so born-in cannot be quieted by the hour; she doesn't hold him to any blame.

Her hands trail the course of her neck, where hairs rise. She is quick in exerting minimal effort, to wake her body of its carnal desires. To mitigate the hurt and replace it with newer feelings — a heat develops in between her thighs and she falls prey to a similar cycle. Her hands smooth the delicate creases of her slip, which abandon her body in seconds, occupying some space on the swarthy bed. But she doesn't care. She feels, gently, the love her fingers offer her. It's lonely. It's not enough, but they provide. They slip, between the valley of her breasts, which lay unattended and ignored. She cannot please every inch and she's made peace with the fact — her fingers crowd the meat of her thighs, that boil with expecting heat.

Her breath quivers in her throat, with every inch of skin tingling. It's a routine but she's figured it out: it is herself who she must trust. Her fingers cross against the wet folds, that produce wetter sounds. She is sure to sigh but holds the feeling. She wants to save that for the bites her pillow must endure — it's ordinary, this sorrowful pleasure, just as it is internal.

Her fingers work in smooth circles at first and drink the filthiest parts of her desires. They slip in bothersome motions, picking the wetness apart from reality. She sighs deeply, burrowing her head back into the mattress. Her legs part as an instinct to invite more of the same, but she pretends she doesn't notice. She wants to drown in this feeling and remain perpetual in it. Perhaps death will do it — maybe it will rid her of the aspects that dirty her. Maybe it will keep the cycle. Maybe she will forever be happy—

A knock.

She can decipher it. Even in the throes of pleasure, it's audible. It's a clear thud in the night and it sends her jolting. She throws on her slip, wiping her fingers away, to rid this feeling. It's close to dissipating in the farthest corners of her being, but it's not enough — she still feels antsy.

“Who is it?”

There is a beat of silence. She almost thinks she had imagined the sound and she is almost defeated when a voice passes the heavy wood,

“It's me, Princess”.

Her heart leaps into her throat — it is not appropriate for visits this late into the night, with the rain battering against every piece of cobble in her window. But she doesn't care. She never has. Why must it be any different now? That she must feel ashamed? She chases after that feeling that has blown into the wind in her belly — she's still relieved it's there, glowing a quiet amber, nearly put out like the last of some flames.

She inches towards the door, breath ragged and convinced: it could be a trick of the wind. Maybe an assassin, so all the vultures can be fed. So her carcass rots this very castle. Maybe a servant girl, mistaking night for day. Maybe a lone cub in its final minutes of life. It would bring her no surprise.

But her hands slip against the chamber doors, and curl around the edge when she opens it — the darkness is an entity punched outside her door. It's unfathomable, for light to not reach any parts of it.

“Yes?” she speaks into the spell, unsure of her next course of action. It's diluted, this confidence when put into motion. She'd much rather ride Syrax into the sun. But her hands burn, her thighs burn, and they propel the same desire. Her blood is hot, still...

...she thinks. And breathes. And wishes.

And, finally, a hand reaches from the darkness, heavy because she's knocked back into her room. First, it's backwards two steps, and then some more to the right, give or take. She's not fashionable in this state and she nearly screams, nearly bites the hand. But she noticed the familiar bumps and ridges on it, the look of veins threading the face of the palm — a familiar beat of blood entices her, flesh thrumming against hers, like wood hiding delicate sap. She wants to taste it, whatever it must offer. But she straightens herself first and happily watches her chamber doors close by itself.

“Princess, you should know better than to alert those who are uninvited”, she confirms her wishes. It's you — you — her guard. Knight in white. All brawn and little fear. She gasps against your palm as the air is returned in little sips. You sigh in her ear.

“I haven't seen you since forever. Must you be so silent?”

Rhaenyra nearly throws herself under the cushions when you let go of her mouth, but the question chooses to linger. To confuse her. To allude to her. She's feeling, definitely, but it's not despair. It's nostalgia. It's desire.

“Well, if you must know”, you beam at her voice, gravitating towards her with no words to offer, “I have also... missed you”, she enunciates the words with her steps, cutting one foot in front of the other before she stands chest-to-chest in front of you. You feel the warmth radiate off her, a certain aroma about her — it's pleasure.

You're acquainted with the wake of it, the dire need to quell it in the night. Oh, how it eats your guts like a parasite, lighting every nerve on fire. Setting things off like a plan. Creeping on you, leaving you flushed and red, with nothing but your fingers to contain the heat. When you imagine Rhaenyra as a victim of such a beast, it sets you aflame — her lips are bruised, in your dreams, and carrying the flavour of cherries. Her thighs are parted and wet, sex already dripping like incense, up for you to pray to her. To lick her like it's a lesson, offer a prayer by splitting her folds, just as the Summer Sea mimics the gap between the Narrow sea to give a name to the step-stones.

It's a dream. But she's a reality: your Queen.

She laces her fingers in your hair and offers you her strongest smile — it's wavering, you fear. Her eyes are globes and in them, there lies a wave of sadness. It hurdles you into reality. You stroke her hair in return, loving the way she curls into the space of your neck, her hands finding themselves around your torso. You might be addicted.

“Tell me, Princess. What's wrong?” you nibble her ear. Kiss her neck softly. Offer her solace as best as you can. She opens her mouth — it's a funny ‘O’ — but she closes it. She was always the weakest in your arms. Her eyes are closed and her lashes flutter. You're offering her something carnal and she's digging into the deepest parts of herself to not consume you entirely. She quite enjoys your company.

“Just... I... I've been so alone”, she bites back a whimper, choosing to sigh into the bone of your collarbone — she's quivering, again. But she's vulnerable. She's split right in the middle and you can take anything you see fit: you can leave her, let her organs dry and shrivel as she remained divided.

But you... love, love, love her. You would spend a lifetime stitching the skin up, just to rid of the pain with a kiss on every inch.

Your hand quickly finds home on her cheek, barely noticing how you've cornered her to the edge of her bed. When she looks up, her hair glows white in the remaining light that the lightning provides — the realm’s delight. But she's Rhaenyra. Just Rhaenyra.

She picks up her limbs and sits on the bed. You follow. You're both so close. There's a beat of silence, longer. You swear you hear the crass throbbing of your heart and you shame the disgusting best. But she smiles and... Oh. She smiles. She smiles. It's watery around the edges but it's genuine. It's real — you would know. It's reserved for you.

There's silence. She lowers her eyes, counting the seconds, as you do. She intertwines your fingers. You enjoy the warmth.

A flash of lightning.

It's chemical when it happens — you fall into her. Her lips sink into yours, a heavy rhythm, that doesn't slow. Not once. Her chest bumps against yours and she claws at your face — you figure she would grab a chunk of your it off and maim you for good. Maybe leave you bloody and lifeless: but you hope it is so. You want to fall victim to this rhythm, even if it ends in perpetual agony. Even if it lights you on fire. Because she's the end you choose.

Her hands shiver as they take yours. Her eyes quiver and her lashes flutter when she places herself in your palms — you want to feel every inch, but you take your time in savouring her. Slowly, you slip the garment off of her, watching her embarrassment. You don't force anything, but offer her a kiss. It's wet and heavy, and you hope it delivers half your love to her already. Because you might die if she were to never know.

You run a hand over her breasts, feeling the skin tingle. You almost feel proud as she groans deeply, whimpers spilling past her lips — you grab her nipples under your fingers and rub them. You would've loved them sore and red, but pleasure looks good on her when it's delicate.

“Oh—Ohhh...”, she pulses, her body already jerking up and down the mattress. You offer a better feeling, by trailing them down her body, where the skin grows hotter and more restless. When your fingers meet her wet sex, you know she's tried to cure this pleasure on her own — she's soaked.

“To think you tried to relieve this pain without me”, you nibble her ear again, watching her squirm. It digs something primal in you, “don't worry, sweet thing, I'm here”.

She soothes back into the mattress, pleading eyes on you. They're beady and you would have mistaken them for black, in this darkness. But they're a faint purple, on sunnier days. Sometimes, they're a murky violet in the darkness of the night. But tonight, she's something else. Profound. Pleading. Black-eyed. You slither your fingers against her soaking folds, stressing a stroke when she seemed the least bit relaxed. She caves into you.

“Please — please, you — you must...”

“Your words, sweet thing”, your fingers thumb at a slicker, hotter spot. She's desperate.

“Please... seven hells, can you please just put it in?” she barks, nearly. You love it. You kiss her again, eating her whole, consuming her flesh for what she is — she’s quivering angrily behind those words but you lick behind her teeth anyway, “good job”.

Your fingers slide in easily. It's a guttural sound that erupts from her — one hand on her chest and the other playing her like an instrument. It's deeply chemical. Your heart is synthesised with her cries of pleasure when you curve against a particularly good spot, deep inside the cave of her wetness. The smell of rain mixed with her cries: it was the birth of something. A womb of the earth, surely, bore this moment from the beginning. Cultivated it to be in this moment. The moment breaks, her chest heaving one, two, three times. It's an indefinite blur. You hardly remember the state of the bed or the darkening sky outside. Blue. Black. Her eyes. Your fingers are relentless. When you dig into her, deeper, she's weeping against you, using your back as support for her body — when one is consumed by pleasure, it is an unimaginable weight to carry. Utterly. Truly. She is the same, cut from the same cloth. It is easy to recognise. Her body nearly cuts itself open from sheer pleasure.

Her breaths stagger. Her chest constricts tightly. Her feet curl in the sheets, mangled softly in the fabric. Her eyes roll when you garner more strength to punch weight in your strokes. You notice that your name is the single string of syllables that leave her tongue — it's sacred. Quiet. Loud. It's hasty, beautifully so. She quivers against your soul like she's being stretched beyond her ability.

“Good gods — I think I might die — oh oh ohhh...”, she begins to cry louder. It hits the largest part of you — it nearly makes you groan in her ear. There is something present... something that stops you from reaching forward and tearing yourself apart. The looming shadow — it stretches, higher and higher, beyond you and Rhaenyra. It rests larger than the Iron Throne. It will surely get you killed, if not forsaken as punishment. But the concerning thoughts break when Rhaenyra stretches against you, legs beating against the bed sheets.

She looks like an animal in the final stage of life, clinging to whatever it is given. Mewling. Screeching. Releasing. Sure enough, the Princess is close to her climax. It is unavoidable. A sight to marvel at. A spectacle. She blinks, once, twice, thrice, still heaving, attempting to swallow the look of her room, whilst her eyes will fight the thick fog.

“Rhaenyra”, you cry, afraid that if you do not, the feeling will surely be lost, “Rhaenyra”, you repeat the words, even if she won't return them. Even if she was to discover you as crass, boring and a cruel waste of space. Even if she was to abandon your hand. But she does. She returns you in between the kisses of heat and desire and her mouth is a gift from the gods.

#rhaenyra targaryen x reader #princess rhaenys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd #house of the dragon fanfic #alicent hightower #laenor velaryon

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giantchasm · 9 months

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Hello. May you like to share any recent Susie-isms on your brain 👁👁

(Or any Kirby blorbo honestly. I just like your character vibes)

OUUUGHHHH. SUSIE MY FRIEND SUSIE. SHE'S EVERYTHING TO ME.

(Sorry this answer is a few days late, but I really do have a lot of thoughts about her)

Recently I've been thinking abt her relationship w mechanization a lot recently. I know it's left ambiguous in canon whether or not she's actually part machine, but she's suuuuch a robotgirl to me.

This bitch has a microchip in her brain and mechanical hands and big scary LED eyes. But also they're kinda cute and when she's choosing how to get dressed up every day she can decide on different colors and even symbols like hearts in her eyes to match whatever cute and/or unhinged vibe she's going for.

She's only part robot, but sometimes she wishes she were all robot. Life would be easier if she was perfect and unfeeling and cold and didn't make mistakes. But sadly she can't fully mechanize herself because then "She'd effectively die," and while she sometimes wonders if that would be for the best (Replacing herself with a better version of herself and all), she knows it would unfortunately make her friends sad.

Even though she's not a real robot she uses it/its pronouns sometimes and has an acronym picked out for what S.U.S.I.E allegedly stands for because she likes feeling like a machine anyways.

She has a complicated relationship with her robotics sometimes because for a long time she was convinced they made her superior to everyone else, but now that she's learning that's not true and that mechanization was apparently "a horrific thing to do to people," she occasionally wonders if people see her as some kind of freak.

But she tries not to think about it! She's better than everyone else, OK? She has to believe that. Or else she'll spiral.

Although most of her is mechanical and because of that she can't feel super well, one of her hands is still flesh and secretly she likes it when people hold it.

She thinks about her dad a lot. Her relationship with him is soooo complicated. Sometimes she hates him, but she misses him just as much. There's so much anger mixed in with crushing sadness. She wonders if he'd despise her for everything she did. She can't really blame him. She despises him too. Doesn't make it any easier, though. And so she just. Tries not to think about it. And fails.

Taranza (He's her best friend, ok?) tells her it's okay to let herself grieve and process those complicated feelings, but that's not always easy for her. She doesn't even know where to begin.

She's a loser. An unhinged, emotionally damaged wreck of a woman. Someone in the fandom as of late has taken to referring to her as 'Losie' and they're so right. I need less content of Susie actually being a girlboss and more content of Susie desperately trying to pretend to be a girlboss while actually just barely pretending to cling to her sanity with her fingernails.

Susie's interesting to me in that she like. Wears a mask on top of a mask. She pretends to be this honestly pretty nice silly cutesy unbothered chick to people she doesn't know well, but in 'reality,' she sees herself as this realistic, unbothered, cynical and strong person. But she's not that either. She's fooling even herself. Deep down, what Susie is is a scared, angry, sad little girl. Like she's not a little girl anymore-- she's a grown woman, but she'll always be the same scared little girl who got lost in Another Dimension. And she hates that fact. So she won't acknowledge it.

Funfact: in my headcanons when she first started going by 'Susie' it was when she initially got back from Another Dimension. After being forced to confront the fact that her dad didn't recognize her and being mechanized to join the company, she decided that the old Susanna was dead and she was someone new. Someone who would never cry again. She's not, but it's nice to pretend.

I also like to think she literally can't cry anymore-- LED eyes and all. Doesn't mean she doesn't want to sometimes, though.

She hates it when anyone calls her Susanna. Except Taranza. He can get away with it occasionally.

He, Magolor, Kirby and the Mage Sisters are her closest friends. She doesn't really like to admit it, but they're her buddies... even if there was some strife between her and the Mage Sisters at one point (I wrote a whole fic about this. I'm working on making it presentable to upload)

She pretends she doesn't like Magolor, but she does. See: this idea I came up with the other night and still can't get off my mind.

But then after that they pretend they didn't have a moment. NO, Kirby. You DIDN'T find them quivering and holding hands. Shut up.

Susie is weirdly liked amongst her employees. She's not even that good of a boss. Like she's a cold, calculating bitch. But after Star Dream shut down a lot of the technology that kept mechanized people functioning and alive started shutting down and she fixed all of the Haltworkers one by one. She didn't think anything of it-- she was just trying not to lose valuable workers, which would be a stupid waste of money, but now they love her. I think more than anything she just seems like an okay boss in comparison because Haltmann was so hilariously mean to his employees when in reality she's still pretty draconian.

She's trying to do better now, though! She's learning to care about 'ethics.'

When she was 7 years old and before she experienced the horrors she read Space Warrior Cats. Space Warrior Cats is exactly like real Warrior Cats except every character has 'Space' in front of their name (I.E. "Space Firestar.)

I love this hot pink bitch named breakfast.

#sorry not sorry for the long post but anon waited for it so i said everything on my mind #kirby #susie haltmann #susie kirby #susanna patrya haltmann #long post #sack’s kirbyverse

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cars-and-planes-dork · 5 months

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So I randomly felt like quickly sharing my thoughts on all three Cars movies and both Planes movies. Quick disclaimer, no matter how I feel about certain things it's totally cool if you feel different and I respect that.

Cars:

I love Cars. This was my childhood movie that I watched over and over and over again since I was a young child. I love the characters, the plot, and I think the animation holds up really well. I also am glad to see it with adult eyes cause there's a lot of nuance and stuff that I of course didn't get as a child. Recently on a whim I needed to unwind from stress and I put on Cars (just like my parents used to do for me as a kid, lol), and it genuinely did make me feel better and woke up a part of me that had laid dormant for years. Cars is a film that almost makes me wanna take a long drive on Route 66...until I remember I'm not any good at road tripping, lol.

Cars 2:

I have a distinct memory in my mind of being a child in the theater watching Cars 2, turning to my dad and saying 'can we go now?'. I didn't watch it all the way through until recently and I can thoroughly say that I don't despise it, but I'm also not its biggest fan. It's actually something of a guilty pleasure for me now. Sometimes I'll just put it on in the background while I do things. It also makes me contemplate the inner workings of this world more than the writers themselves probably thought about, like how the heck do different makes and models come about, what is the impact of climate change on a world of vehicles, but that's probably its own post. But yeah, I accept it for what it is and even enjoy some parts of it.

Cars 3:

So confession, it took me over 6 years to work up the courage to watch this one. I don't know why I was so worried, but I finally did it. And I loved it. I really think they ended on a good note. I'll admit the first part was probably the weakest in my eyes, but I really enjoyed the tribute to Doc Hudson and I actually teared up and I was happy to learn more about his past. I liked the torch passing narrative as well. I think my biggest complaint is that I wish we could've seen more of Lightning and his friends. (I may be biased because somehow Cal Weathers worked his way into my heart).

Planes:

Planes took longer to stick in my brain than Cars did. I remember going to see it actually, the local air and space museum did a showing of it and I went to watch it with my family. My parents didn't like it much but I remember being happy with it. Upon rewatching, there's things I like, but there's a part of me wishing it was something more. I can't fully explain it. Also I find Dusty's attitude off-putting to me personally (particularly his feeling of being entitled to being trained by Skipper and essentially demanding that Skipper tell him about his clearly traumatic past strikes me as kinda callous). But I still enjoy putting it on in the background and enjoy thinking about the world itself, much like Cars 2. Also fun fact, Skipper is one of my favorite kinds of planes.

Planes Fire & Rescue:

I'm sorry but I have much less patience for this film, but like I said above, I respect those who do. I will say, I appreciate them highlighting some of the realities of firefighting (like how the general public doesn't hear about a lot of fires that are dealt with). But other than that, I don't have much positive to say about it. The characters for the most part feel underdeveloped and I can't say I'm particularly endeared to a majority of them (Blade is the exception for me, tbh). And Dipper in particular needs to chill the hell out, her behavior is pretty inappropriate and creepy while being played off as jokes. Beyond that, my aforementioned issues with Dusty remain in this movie. Honestly, he doesn't strike me as capable of doing this job and he actively creates a situation that nearly gets Blade killed. I could spend awhile talking about it, but I'd honestly rather not. To end on a positive note, I think the married RV couple are adorable and I like them.

So that's all my thoughts. I enjoy both franchises and tend to overthink the hell out of them (if I overthink something it's usually cause I enjoy it). Hopefully I didn't piss too many people in the fandom off, lol.

#pixar cars #disney planes #cars 2006 #cars 2 #cars 3 #planes fire and rescue

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prsk-krow · 1 year

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elllo! could i get ena and mizuki with a reader that’s usually cold and stoic towards others but when around them they’re more cheerful and smile a lot more? /R

{Ena/Mizuki with a cold reader that's cheerful towards them!} [R]

This one was actually pretty interesting, since I requested something kinda similar from someone else just a few days ago! This is different though, and I made sure that my response was, as well! Hope you like it!

Ena Shinonome

The artist does share some similarities with you, as her personality changes depending on who's listening. With the shut-in she's really soft and forgiving, and with the others of the group... Not so much.

It's thanks to these similarities that when you reveal your true nature, Ena sort of understands and doesn't question it too much! However, the severe change does create some whiplash...

She had already gotten used to your cold front, after all! If she can manage to be friends with the honor student, a relationship with you didn't seem too out of the picture! Although she did have to consider it when you proposed the idea...

But once you two were away from the public's view, and your tone and expressions and basics everything about you suddenly change, she was surprised to say the least!

"Woah... Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to appear rude! Don't worry, I understand that some of us have things to hide, but... I didn't expect the change to be this big... Nonono, it's fine! It's alright, really!"

It takes a while for her to get used to it. No matter how hard she may try to, she isn't used to dealing with cheerful, kindhearted people too well, much less someone who she thought was the complete opposite!

She does enjoy this side of you more though, and she's happy that you seem to be enjoying it so much! She will make sure to have more time in private between you two so that you may let loose more often!

She will also ask why you hide this side from others, and will do her best to show that she's a trustworthy partner! That means doing her best to understand you, and helping you hide your secret from others!

Although something she will never admit is that she could never go back to the old you. She says that it's all for you, but in reality this is also indulging her a little! It feels so nice to have someone so kind close to her at all times, and she can't let go of that now!

So, the reveal benefits both of you equally, and you shall both work together to keep it that way! It goes pretty smoothly, and Ena will remain glad that she chose to accept your confession!

Mizuki Akiyama

I've said this before and I'll say this again, Mizuki notices whenever other have hidden sides, but they will never dwell deep into them if you don't reveal it first!

They have their own secrets they wish to hide, and even in a romantic relationship they, sadly, won't reveal anything at first. It will definitely take a long time, and a lot of patience!

That's why they're so surprised at seeing you drop the act as soon as you two enter a private room after the confession and acceptance! Not that they weren't aware of it, they just thought it would take longer!

However, their attitude towards you will hardly change much. They are glad that you're no longer holding back, but they will act smug about knowing that you were planning on dropping the act eventually!

They will definitely tease you about your cold front, and will sometimes purposely poke at it in public to see how hard you contain the urge to call them out! Nothing too extreme, just the usual teasing from a different angle!

"What?? Oh, come on! Did you really think that becoming my partner would save you from my teasing? Hehe, quite the opposite! You've fallen into my trap, and now you shall live with these teasing words next to you forever! There is no longer any escape!"

As soon as they notice you having a hard time putting up the front though, or simply being too tired to, they will plan ahead to let you rest in your home! It's surprisingly smooth, and you'll be able to relax more thanks to their quick actions!

They will also make sure to reinforce just how thankful they are for you to trust them with your most intimate secrets. Words of encouragement, gifts, quality time, acts of service! It's quite special the attention they can give you!

Sadly, this does come with some drawbacks. They're so glad that you trust them this much, to reveal a side that you've never shown anyone... Then, why can't they still reveal their own secrets? Why can't they muster up the courage you can...?

Thankfully, your cheerful nature ensures that Mizuki's down days aren't as bad as they used to be! And with you by their side, there is a new hope in their heart, that maybe, with time, there will come a chance...

#project sekai #project sekai imagines #project sekai headcanons #project sekai x reader #prsk #prsk x reader #pjsekai #pjsekai x reader #pjsk #pjsk x reader #ena shinonome #ena shinonome x reader #shinonome ena #shinonome ena x reader #mizuki akiyama #mizuki akiyama x reader #akiyama mizuki #akiyama mizuki x reader #/cawcanons

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itsmaferart · 2 years

Text

Spy x Family · · ·Ep 14 · · · A tragedy averted

Warning: This contains spoilers for the anime and manga.

Warning: this is a sad post, talking about tragedy. So you may need tissues Everything is written under my point of view, talking about the anime adaptation. So you are free to have a different opinion.

As I mentioned in a past post, something very interesting about the bomb dogs arc, is how it gives us a touch of reality, reaffirming the true sense of how the universe works within SpyxFamily.

SxF is a drama, disguised as a comedy, where we can see the adventures of a spy, an assassin and a telepath, forming a family for convenience to keep their secrets, obtaining a benefit. Everything is colorful, laughs, with charismatic and endearing characters.

But when we get into the story, we see that not everything is as "joyful" and as "cool" as it seems. SxF is a drama, trying to tell the tragedy that war brings, the political ambition the large-scale consequences, along with the collateral effects left in its wake: blood, tears and pain.

While, the bomb dogs arc, starts off as a casual arc, with a turn-based antagonist that the Forger family indirectly faces. With Twilight leading the way, being a spy, Anya getting in trouble for helping her parents thanks to her powers and Yor using her assassin skills to keep her daughter safe, and indirectly defeating her husband's enemy. This arc further deepens the tragedy, and how from one second to the next, a child's happy life can be destroyed, seeing before his eyes "his own world destroyed."

Visions of a tragic future

Just look at this sequence, and how the anime achieved such tension, showing how a small act could turn the tide. A happy story of a family looking for a new addition to the family, as a pet term unleashed in war.

The bells would be the last sound Agent Twilight would hear after a bomb exploded within seconds, ending his life. This was the spark for the newscasts to spread the news, and the drums of war began to beat.

In the midst of the rubble you hear a scream, a little girl looking through the rubble at her father, the man who took her from an orphanage, who saved her from kidnappers risking his life and his mission. Her unbeatable hero, the great Westalis spy, Twilight, was crushed lifeless in the rubble.

The way this scene is so dark, and shocking to focus on Anya's face, hearing her scream, conveyed an enormous sadness to me.

Knowing that Anya describes her father as "the agent dad, the all-powerful one" being the first father who doesn't get rid of her, who has strived to be a better father to her (even if he denies her affection) we can get an idea of the psychological impact it may have had on her.

This scene easily parallels what Twilight once experienced. Seeing her mother, dead in the rubble starting a war he never asked for.

However, Anya had something that (Redacted) did not have as a child, and that is the opportunity to change the future that lay ahead. Thanks to Bond, Anya decided to do "something about it".

I admire Anya's strength and resilience, perhaps her life inside the lab has made her strong enough to hold the image of her dead father in her head and not collapse from grief. Anya kept going, to change that future despite being "just a child".

As I said, I applaud Endo's ability to show the characters' desperation in serious and humorous ways, without it clashing with the pace of events.

Anya is clearly desperate, plus she was a second away from dying with Bond, if not for him reminding her that opening the door would blow them apart; or seeing that she doesn't know how to defuse a real bomb.

I think this explains a lot about Anya's psychology. She is a child hyper-aware of her surroundings, Anya really understands violence and the consequences, but far from being paralyzed like any other child, she continues with her innocent, optimistic personality, and this explains her fascination to action, adventure programs that show violence as Bond-man. Danger became so natural to her, but she digests it in a more innocent way. Even on the verge of collapse, she does not lose hope.

Now, pausing briefly with Anya. We have another important focus, which is Sylvia, vividly describing the calamity of a war: the smell of blood, seeing your family, lovers and friends dead, eating human flesh and tree bark.

These words can only be spoken and understood by those who have been through hell, and made it out of it. Some would say that they are "those who have seen the abyss straight in the eye, entered the darkness and have come out of it with a vengeance".

Understanding perfectly, Twilight's body language during the interrogation, someone jaded that humans need to live through war as to understand the magnitude, and how ignorantly, many continue to yearn for war, believing it will bring a glorious world, when in reality they are dooming themselves.

A little hope...

I love it, as Anya, feeling her point of collapse not knowing how to keep the bomb from going off, a small glimmer of hope opens up with the most insignificant object, "a bottle of ketchup."

This small act changed the course of their life.

However, if the WISE agent had opened the door, they all would have died. But fortunately, her father's suspicion was the last key piece in changing fate.

I'm impressed that even though I already knew this was going to have a happy ending, I jumped for joy to see that Twilight (Loid) was with his family back in Bond's vision. This scene is beautiful!

Demonstrating that small acts as a team can change the future we believe is written. It is our actions that can save someone's life.

Reflections

In this case SxF is not a shonen telling "the hero's way", and his way to be the "best". It is a tragic story of people who have suffered directly and indirectly from war. Tired of suffering, they want to change their own reality, but evil still prevails and this path in search of peace becomes endless. However, only love can really heal those old wounds, and the support of a family can be the salvation.

I see many people come to underestimate this story just for "being a comedy" when in fact it is a drama "told as a comedy."

While, I love that the story is always funny, fun, full of memorable and hilarious moments. Endo always reminds us that things can change, the fragility of peace, trust and love can easily be destroyed and turn to dust. Hence the importance of protecting peace, because once destroyed, there may be no return for many things.

I'm not saying, SxF will become a drama, with constant suffering for the viewer. But what makes this plot so special are these moments of change, and evolution, moments of tension that give us a more concrete look at what the characters are dealing with. Like Yor in the cruise arc, who was thinking about dying, or Twilight reliving her entire past in a dream.

Forgers are the key to peace

What I love most about this arc, and this story is how the Forgers are indirectly a team, fighting for peace. While, there are moments where they mutually hinder each other's goals. We've seen that indirectly, all three are indirectly saving or stopping each other's enemy. Yor confronting the terrorists, Anya saving Twilight, and Twilight coming face to face with the antagonists…or …. Similar to the arc on the cruiser, when Twilight stopped the bombs that could have gone off, sinking the ship; Anya warning the authorities of the bomb and returning the stiletto to her mom, and Yor confronting the assassins.

The Forgers are an uninhabitable force, and only together can they achieve world and mutual peace.

It really is a great chapter, and a great arc, which leaves me very excited for the next premiere this Saturday.

What did you think?

#sxf twilight #spy x family #twiyor #yor forger #loid forger #yor briar #loid x yor #sxf #anya forger #twilight #spyxfamily twilight #sxf anime #spyxfamily anime #thron princess #agent twilight #bond forger #sylvia sherwood

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destinyc1020 · 6 months

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I have an unpopular opinion about Timothee: I dont really feel the same outrage as most fans to his recent comments or that poor snl hamas joke anymore due to his last gq interview. I am a fan of him as an actor but dont really care about him as person.

Back in 2017 - 2019 I was the biggest Timmy fan. I deeply connected to him as an introvert and anxiety and really believed that the person he was in interviews and public events was a really him and not a curated persona to generate a fandom. Post 2020 I rarely put any celeb on any pedestal or really except maybe Tomdaya because I really believe they are authentic individuals. (Maybe I'm delulu for thinking that but they haven't disappointed me yet so).

In his last gq interview from my perspective really opens up the struggle of having instant fame and also growing up as an adult with all these hats of personas he puts out to the public whilst still holding on the notion that he's not gonna change for hollywood. But the reality is the more famous you are the more you change. Timothee changed and that's not my business anymore.

I just don't believe ppl trying to cancel him or outrage because in a few weeks when wonka comes out and ppl will forget. It's kinda like Doja cat. Her antics are annoying but her music is great. There's always gonna be a grey area when it comes to ppls fav. I don't agree personally but I see ppl flip flop over things their favs do like a krabby patty.

Hopefully this doesn't come out like I'm a disciple of clubchalamet but I feel like sometimes in stan culture nuance is lost.

Thanks Anon for your input and comments. 😃 You've brought up a very interesting discussion, so I'm going to try to address the things you said one by one.

I didn't read the entirety of Timmy's GQ interview (I'll have to get to that later), so I might be lost on the context of your sentiments, but all I'll say is this: You can feel however you want to feel. You can be outraged, or you can not be outraged. Nobody can really tell you how to feel. It's your own personal opinion. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Many people (including myself) on the other hand, felt as though that particular joke on SNL last night was in poor taste, and quite insensitive. 🥴

This is tricky, because on one hand, I kind of feel like whenever you're in the public eye, you kind of DO have to wear various different personas in a way, because you're working in the public eye, you have to maintain certain boundaries, and you also want your private life to be sacred as well.

It doesn't mean you're being "Fake", it just means that the more famous you become, the more and more you may have to juggle various different demands, and put on different "faces" to the public. Sometimes, let's face it, you just don't want to be on that red carpet. But you suck it up, smile, pose, and get on with your job because that's your JOB. You're getting paid. Same with us regulars who have a 9-5 job. I'm still myself at work, but in a professional setting, I carry myself a certain way. You think I always want to wake up early and go to work? PLEASE. 😅 It doesn't mean I'm "fake", or that I'm not being myself, it just means that I'm putting my "professional" self out there in the forefront, and dimming down my "home self" while at work in the office.

I think most people are multifaceted actually. I don't think people are as black and white as some fans make celebrities out to be.

Post 2020 I rarely put any celeb on any pedestal or really except maybe Tomdaya because I really believe they are authentic individuals. (Maybe I'm delulu for thinking that but they haven't disappointed me yet so).

This might sound crazy but......Tbh, I don't put ANY celebrity (or ANYBODY for that matter) on a pedestal. No, NOT even Tom and Zendaya lol. 😅 (*gasp! Shocker... I know lol) It's not because I think they'll disappoint me one day, it's more so because I just wasn't raised to put anyone on a pedestal or to idolize people. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I actually don't think idolizing people or worshiping them is healthy? 🥴 And I don't think humans were meant to be worshipped or heavily idolized, and I feel like that's one of the reasons why some celebrities (especially music artists) end up having mental breakdowns, go off the rails, or struggle with fame. I think it's unnatural. 😔

Don't get me wrong! There are celebrities who I love very much, and I love their work, I love watching them, I enjoy them, I think they're pretty/handsome/funny/talented/charismatic, etc. and I LOVE them! 😊😃 I'm a HUGE HUGE fan!

BUT! I never idolize them, or think they can do no wrong, because to me, they're just human and can make mistakes just like me, and just like 100% of the other humans out here. That way, if one of my faves DOES seriously disappoint me one day in the future, I may be sad about it, but I'm not devastated, because I never put them high up on a pedestal to begin with. I just viewed them as a regular human being. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I kind of feel like some fans actually put their faves up on too HIGH of a pedestal tbh, and then they become super angry or annoyed when their faves don't do/act/behave/say exactly what they want them to...and my thought is, "Well, you're the one who thought they were ABOVE reproach and were 'perfect', so that's probably part of the problem right there..." 🥴 (I'm talking about fans complaining about minor things regarding their faves, not major offenses or crimes)

I kind of like to view my faves (and other celebrities) as actually very human, and probably under a LOT more stress than I realize. That industry can be very unforgiving, stressful, and kind of crazy....

So, I actually think it's a GOOD thing that you don't put your faves on a pedestal tbh. 🤷🏾‍♀️

(I still need to read the entirety of that GQ article)

Like I said before, I do think that humans in general DO wear different hats. We're complex individuals. It doesn't mean someone is fake, it just means they have to be different in different scenarios. A man may go to work and have to put on his "CEO" hat. But when he comes home, he's putting on his "husband" and "father" hat. He's the same man, but he just has different duties, ways of being, and things he needs to attend to in different scenarios.

I think that large amounts of fame (especially if it's overnight) DOES change everyone actually... But maybe not in the way you might think. Whether it might make an actor more of a recluse because their privacy is constantly being invaded, or maybe makes an artist more aware of different worlds/people/walks of life due to traveling and touring several different places around the world, or whether it's just viewing things differently from a different perspective because you've been BURNED in this industry... I def think it's inevitable that fame will change you on SOME level. It doesn't mean you change into being a mean/entitled person or anything... But more so that your life has undoubtedly changed, so how could it not affect you on SOME level.... Ykwim? Some celebrities never used to suffer from anxiety until they got super famous, and now they suffer from anxiety, depression, paranoia, etc. Like, YES...fame can change you. And sometimes the changes are sad. 😔 I've seen some of my faves change over the years due to the wear and tear that fame put on them. 😔 They used to be so happy-go-lucky, trusting, open, and innocent at first, but then after years of massive fame, they became depressed, anxiety-ridden, distrustful, shut down, super private, and burned out due to all of the pressure of fame. 😭 So yes, in a way it changed them because of the demands. Maybe even because people around them changed.

It also changes how people interact with you. Some celebrities have said that they would just like to be treated like a normal human being. I believe some when they say that. But it's hard because people DON'T treat them that way most of the time. Do you see the never-ending cycle?

Fans/the general public definitely have selective amnesia lol 😅🤣 I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing disappointment if one of your faves does/says something you didn't like. But this whole "cancel culture" thing when someone in the public eye does something you didn't like is a bit much for me. I think it depends on what it is. Not every mistake or action is on the same level imo. Whether a fan chooses to get over the SNL jokes or not is up to that fan. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some may choose to never like or support Timothee ever again, while another fan may post angry tweets about it, but will move on and be SAT for the Wonky Movie next month. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Each fan can decide what they feel is the "last straw" for not supporting their fave or some celebrity in the media. I think that should be a personal decision for each person? Maybe it's not so much that people "forget", but more so that they have allowed this disgrace some mercy, but will still support his work unless he does something worse in the future.

Hopefully this doesn't come out like I'm a disciple of clubchalamet but I feel like sometimes in stan culture nuance is lost.

LOL! No, not in the least 😅 I totally understood what you were trying to say. I just think that fandom/stan culture is pretty complex and isn't always black and white.

Plus, I feel like you can like someone as a person, but not like their CHOICES...yet still feel like deep down they're overall still a decent person.

The flipside is also true... You can like someone's WORK, but not necessarily care for them as a person. It happens all the time. 🤷🏾‍♀️

#warning: long post coming through #sorry for the long dissertation

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