#and ashe will get depressed
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meet Ashe! here's 9 months old but has been at the shelter since he was 3 months old he's a very very shy lil baby but comes out of the kitten room for pictures sometimes :3
#hes got a lil kitty attitude too a very cunty cat#hes bffs with peep another lil kitten in the room and im always worried someone's gonna adopt only peep#and ashe will get depressed#i want us to list them as a pair but idk if they will
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lady amber my beloved
#mine#rote#fitz and the fool#amber i would die for u#this was going to be a fools quest beloved but unfortunately the short hair was rlly bad so shdhsdbd#au in which everything is the same but beloved kept their beautiful long locks#honestly fools quest is simultaneously the hardest and funniest rote book to read#like on the one hand everything is awful. on the other hand people hve told fitz hes cringe for being depressed like 5 times its so funny#also when fool said ash made a convincing girl and fitz said 'you would know' FITZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i screamed girl ur so funny#anyway . this drawing gave me so much grief i drew it last week and only this evening had time 2 colour it ooooaug#moving tomorrow good lord !!! im not convinced i can get everything in the car but my mum says we can so.....i believe her i guess#im so stresed. also i think my printer is just going to be like. raw dogging it in th car bc we dont hve a box big enough so KJBKSDJBK#anyway hve a nice evening!
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releasing this for my friends on tumblr
#drops one snippet of good writing before depression gets me again#but like. thinking about biana again. how she was so scared of the vacker legacy#and now she’s ending it#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#biana vacker#kotlc biana#ash writes
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all nine of the stretch goal designs for this campaign - I am not sure how many goals we will be able to reach but there will come a point where I won't be able to do any more goals unless I get fulfillment help, so we'll see if it gets to that point and if I can get help! below the cut are the names, info, and artist statements for each plushie! I may end up changing the names as I am still not sure about ash, sandy, kelly, and luca, but let me know if you like them!
Tristan The Depression Raccoon: Tristan’s plushie will come with a removable hoodie accessory! He loves cozy video games like animal crossing and stardew valley. There are not many widely used symbols for depression that I could find, so I chose Tristan's colors based on how my depression makes me feel, bruised and cold.
Ash the Anxiety Bunny Moth: Ash’s plushie will have fluffy moth antennae and removable magnetic wings similar to Bug’s plush! They love to visit the home depot lights section when their friends are with them! I chose gray and yellow for the main body colors because my anxiety personally deals with uncertainty and things out of my control. The green comes from one of the anxiety flags created by Beyond MOGAI. To add moth features was a suggestion I got that I thought fit very well!!
Sandy the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Kitty: Sandy is an artist and loves to draw and paint landscapes! Her wings will be attached via magnet, similar to Bug’s wings. The colors of her design are based on the OCD flag created by lucellion, with spirals in her paws to represent repetitive thought processes.
Melon the Sensory Processing Disorder Opossum: Melon is a silly opossum who has bat wings! Melon’s wings will be attached via magnet, similar to Bug’s wings. Melon’s colors are inspired by the SPD pride flag created by Beyond MOGAI.
Jazz the Borderline Personality Disorder Kitty: Jazz is a tortoiseshell kitty that loves to read!! Jazz’s plush will come with a pvc charm of the hand of Eris symbol for you to put on xer collar if you choose! The colors are loosely based on the BPD flag created with community input by ptsdsafe on tumblr.
Kelly the Schizospec Axolotl: kelly is an axolotl who is studying chemistry and loves science! kelly’s design is inspired by the Schizospec flag, created with community input and organized by schizosupport on tumblr. They will have a collar tag once again made of PVC featuring the associated double sided arrow symbol.
Em the Bipolar Disorder Chimera: Em is a chimera kitty who has dragon wings and a snake tail! One side of the snake tail is smiling, the other frowning. This takes inspiration from the :): symbol often associated with Bipolar disorder.
Cy the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Otter: Cy is a happy little otter griffin! They love to sculpt and craft and sew! Cy’s color pallet is based on the assortment of medications I take for my own IBS symptoms.
Luca the Dyslexia Fox: Luca is a dancer and loves to perform! Their design and colors are loosely based on the infinity heart+ moon and star symbol that is often found on dyslexia flags. they will have L and R embroidered on their paws, which was a suggestion I was given.
#tristan the depression racoon#audhd creatures#ash the anxiety moth bunny#sandy the ocd kitty#melon the spd opossum bat#Jazz the BPD kitty#kelly the schizospec axolotl#em the bipolar disorder chimera#cy the IBS otter griffin#luca the dyslexia fox#part of my concern with naming is that when it comes to a collection in order to make fulfillment easier on myself I like to choose names#that mostly have different letters to start. because. I will read the first letter of a name and then go off of that which has led to#many people getting sprinkles instead of scarlet or beau instead of beans ToT#so we have ash - bug - critter - cy (the one repeat) - dash - em - jazz - kelly - luca - melon - tristan#cy i think is different enough from critter because it is only two letters so if I confuse cy for critter. that's. well. i hope i won't
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Jotaro deserves the world, including being embarrassed on his birthday.
(This is a redraw, original below the cut)
#my art#ashton#jotaro kujo#jjba#oc x canon#selfship#jjba oc#original character#ash x jotaro#SORRY TO EVERYONE LEAVING ASKS I promise I will get to them#between depression my classes and commissions it's been hard to even THINK about ash#which is a weird feeling. I WANT to think about them#but its been hard :(
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aight, aside from the fact that 3 houses by Dave Malloy is now gonna Haunt My Waking Thoughts For The Week...
nah, that's it. The only pandemic play I can get behind. Proper amount of drunken revelry, fantastic amount of fairytale allegory, Yes She Does Smoke Weed, vindictive dragon spirits and knockoff tom nooks, cairns of amazon boxes, The Ending, The Set, The Parallels...
and the wolf. Gods help me, but I wanna kiss the wolf on his broken-toothed maw. dance with him. ask him for a metal straw. I'd be a furry for that wolf in his stupid knit sweater.
(And then, the harmonieeeeees my love, they're so perfect and ugly and pretty and the genre shifts and and and)
#I can go on#pleaasee ask me to go on#everybody with the ability to get tickets see this show#Signature does student tix for like 16 bucks seriously#regular tix I think are pretty cheap for theater too#During work breaks my roommates just gonna hear a faint “me and my weed and my currant wine...” humming out of my bed#cast album isn't even on spotify yet I cry#it's so good you guys#it's so so so good like you have to understand#I'm shaking you by the shoulders and staring deep into your eyes with the deranged glint of a starving madman#you want to see this show#you need to see this show#the world around me is breaking and crumbling and burning#and I'm gonna be stumbling through its ashes in a daze thinking about the Fucking Spider Above The Cairn#The pigs will be breaking my and mine's bodies over their knee on the fucking “free speech lawn”#and I'll be in the corner thinking about Mr. Malloy's Use Of Polyphony#100 out of 10 would recommend#it runs through June please support good art#when the world is depressing this is the stuff that makes us remember the light#go see it#Dave Malloy#3 Houses#Three Houses#pandemic fiction#theater#musicals#If I have to start this fandom by myself I Will#“three strangers with their pinkies entwined...”#<3
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country roads, take me home... to the place, where i belong...
#'oli thats not what the original caption says' yeah well the original caption was depressing#and the whole country roads walk-up song thing makes me feel shrimp colours#ash enjoy your REVENGE gav i'm sorry you're gonna get caught in the crossfire again lol#first time making one on an ipad!! it's an adventure!#sorry the alt text function on the ipad version of the app is HORRIFIC i will try to come back on a computer and add it later#seattle mariners#jarred kelenic#mariners#in my defence ash started it#my edits#a softer world#a softer baseball#i hope the resolution on this doesnt come out total crap but i also know how tumblr can be#mlb#(original caption said 'wait for time to run out.')
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i get the feeling valerie and yuno would either be really good friends or hate each other's guts.
#by which i mean valerie would foam at the mouth over the idea of adventurer academies#but then she finds out they can revive people from literal ashes over there and calms down.#...then she probably gets depressed by it anyway since you need to find the ashes first. also has no idea what the radha'd do with that inf#meanwhile yuno's just there. drinking 2 liters of alcohol and going ''man that sucks. can we switch places.''#like yuno would be empathetic. or at least as empathetic as a rowdy person like yuno can be.#but also she'd be thinking ''at least we *train* our students in controlled spaces damn what is wrong with this town''#actually scratch that yuno and valerie would be besties on the grounds of yuno unapologetically insulting the radha.#...this turned into a much sadder post than intended.#valerie needs a hug.#eo1#coh1
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So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D
Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.
Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.
#sherlock holmes#my dearest blorbo#he’s my belovedest chewtoy basically#if i think abt how modern adaptations *looking at you bbc sherlock* have ruined his character i get so angry i have to take deep breaths#*mutters darkly* he is NOT an arrogant cold-hearted bitch like he’s portrayed; well he IS a bitch but not a cold-hearted one!!#see. the thing abt holmes is that he’s SUCH a sweet boy okay. and he’s compassionate#he cares sooo much. that’s the reason people come to him when they’re distressed. they trust him#he hates the police. he is a jester at heart. loves his watson#he’s here to help the truly desparate helpless people even if they have no money to pay him for the case. no questions asked. But-#he fucking despises obnoxious rich men. the first time he meets watson a total stranger he *very excitedly* tells him abt his experiment#it’s very adorable. he never stops trying to impress ever. infact blushes furiously when complimented by him#my guy has 0 knowledge of our solar system but he’s written several monographs abt different types of ASHES. go figure!#OH i almost forgot the most important fact he’s special to me bc holmes is an audhd gay disaster bastard. sometimes he’s even bisexual#but mostly he’s acespec and in a qpr w watson. he’s VERY adhd. behaves like an excited cat and oh so cute when he stims. everytime he does#i go SQUEEE. when he’s depressed it’s a goddamn hashtag big mood. as in many other ways he is me i am him#he’s PASSIONATE and KIND that’s all you need to know#acd stories are about just some guy who loves his job (which he invented himself btw after quitting college) that’s it#i am overcome with an almighty need to squeeze his cheeks#he’s everything to me <3#alright if i don’t stop now i doubt i ever will LMAO bye#acd holmes#if u read till the end u get a cookie and a kiss on the nose i love u#silv tag 💞
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WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET INTO THE SADDEST FUCKING SHIPS WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF
#frankie yells#like fucking. sure any ship can be made sad if you try harder enough but also. fucking. why must it always be tragic little gays#im not complaining but also i keep fucking doing this to myself man why do i keep making myself sad over fictional gays 😭😭#like do i just only interact with the shit that makes me sad??? do i only really get engaged with sad fics etc. for them????#is this a me problem????#like. um. griddlehark. destiel. hannigram (sort of). ash/eiji. satosugu. aziracrow. zukka (in certain directions). shory. aaronneil.#most of my ao3 bookmarks are me sobbing my eyes out...#OH WAIT ALSO FUCKING. REDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭 I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOME BUT OMG REDDIEEEE#me like what if none of the mfs had a happy ending together? what then?#like babygirl are you okay??? why do you always want to be so sad??#oh god also fucking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]... both of which i had to stop reading fics for bc i was making myself too sad#like genuinely there is a certain very long fic that i had to put down bc i was making myself depressed#OHMYGOD I FORGOT WANGXIAN AND BINGQIU.... honestly mdzs and svsss in general... kicking my feet 1 moment and sobbing the next#there are sooo many ships in both of those that make me so very sad... too many to remember or list atm tbh#i should go to bed 💀 lmao#it's too late for this nonsense ans i shouldn't have been watching destiel and hannigram compilations in the first place... of course im#just making myself sad...
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...
#jesus christ. i love a tragedy. fucking love a tragedy. love media#where characters stare into the face of god and are consumed with wonder as they die#the world is so fucking beautiful it burns through them and leaves nothing but ash#alex garland i am in your walls. i mean. he didnt direct sunshine but i think he cowrote the screenplay#i too wish to b cast off into the sun#my homones r perhaps returning to normal so mayhaps i am returning to my typical state of hysteria rather than depression lol#well see what tomorrow brings. im just saying that all my favorite media involves the most exquisite tragedy#i want to see destruction and i want to kno there is beauty there. i spend Nearly all my time at thr bottom of a well#but sometimes the sky clears and i can see the stars#but this is not helpful when i need to get things done lol#unrelated
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in a New Camelot mood (as always) after discussing it today and one of my favorite things about Sierra Simone's writing is her tendency to build up this ULTRA DOM whose submissives see him as like a god and then you get into his mind and he's like A Big Loser, Actually
(and if there's one thing I love as a reader, it's an intimidating man who's revealed to have the emotional stability of a seventh grade girl)
like for two books you get Greer and Embry being like "Ash was the center of my universe, loving and cruel, and he was the leader of the free world, and he held our hearts and bodies in his hands"
and then you finally get Ash's POV in the final book and he's like "when I was a little boy I was SO into Labyrinth, because I wanted to fuck David Bowie and Jennifer Connolly, and I was SUCH a Jareth fanboy, and then I went to army! And then I ran for president!"
#romance novel blogging#when embry is all 'ASH WAS SO IN CONTROL WHEN WE WERE IN ARMY TOGETHER'#and then ash's POV is him getting drunk and telling embry's stepsister he's a big fat virgin until she feels bad enough to fuck him#which......#mistakes were made#but sierra does this a lot#going back to ivy leavold where for two books ivy is all MR. MARKHAM WAS A COMPLEX AND DOMINATING MAN#and then julian's own POV is like 'there i was drunk and kind of crying about ivy leaving me to my BFF and sex friend'#in thornchapel auden is seen as a WILD GOD!!!! and then you get to auden's full POV#and he's like 'i'll be completely real everyone... no thoughts head empty just kinda depressed'
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got this lyney childhood friends to lovers cooking, except the childhood friends to lovers is more of an afterthought in the plot of the fic
#and neuvillette is there too :3#writing lyney’s thoughts is so damn fun. right up there with childe’s. especially jealous lyney#dunno when i’ll be able to finish it but we’ll see#hopefully i don’t get massively depressed again because of college 😁#ash talks
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nothing like looking for other jobs while at your current job
#ash rambles#i won’t lie looking at other jobs again is making me depressed#there are no openings in my industry except in tv and i’m trying to get away from tv bc it fucking sucks#so then i’m faced with changing careers and the only thing i would be qualified to do then is be like. a secretary#and idk i’m sitting here trying to not cry at work
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¡Feliz Día del Padre! -- reminder, if you are close to Laura in any capacity -- in some way or form in the multiverse -- your'e probably going to die... but hey ! the multiverse exists so look on the bright...side??
#* the way if you go by Logan-lore how she had to watch both Xavier & Logan die right in front of her...#* and don't get me started on the tragedy in the comics...#* we got some heroes and anti-heroes on here that are probably really depressed today huh?#* i saw ash's post and i was like ---- O.o yeaaahhh....#*....damnnn.#( 🌮 lil messican girl is oouuuuut. ) ooc.
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i hate depression without having the low mood to accompany it. yes i am fine emotionally and should be doing things. no i do not have the strength or will to do anything.
#listen depressed mood also sucks but wtf is this shit#diet ass depression i swear to god. sometimes depression just makes you unable to do anything? biting you biting you biting you biting youbi#ashe speaks#i’ve been trying to get a shower for an hour. send help
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