WWGRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH <- it wants to buy a secondhand book that is on sale, but it already has several books to-read right there in its bookshelf

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

hey you! Look at him!

that's all :)

Everytime my brain tells me to isolate myself i just think, “what would yomiel’s friends do to drag his ass out…”

i know this is primarily a jerma platform but northernlion really IS wild. its like hes a medieval cleric with a mind palace. hes the world's most lucid man. each moment hes alive he is retrieving information. indescribable

The girls have arrived!!

I received an email from the goldfish-delivering company that had “how to take care of your mogwai” vibes, with recommendations I was expecting like “don’t feed the fish for the first three days” but also some I wasn’t expecting at all, such as “don’t make eye contact with aggressive fish”:

If you zoom in on the picture above, you can see it’s already too late.

I decided to follow the timeless human tradition of ignoring things I don’t understand, and moved on to phase 2: poking tiny holes in the bags of fish and letting them float around on the water of their new tank until water temperatures and pH became even. In the meantime I had a mystery on my hands: in addition to the two bags of fish I had ordered, the parcel contained another, smaller bag full of some unknown liquid.

The paper inside is just a page torn off a catalogue, there were no indications as to what this little bag was for and I was puzzled. My first thought was that it contained some kind of big name fish that needed to travel alone—or maybe the aggressive fish that you shouldn’t make eye contact with? An aquatic Pyrgus. But then I opened the bag and it only contained a clear water-like liquid; no fish.

My second thought was that the liquid was a goldfish tonic that I should pour into the tank to help the fish adjust to their new environment. I called the goldfish-delivering company just to make sure, and the man I had on the phone was like “Oh I’ve never been asked this question before! The little bag just contains a block of ice to keep the fish cool during delivery. If there’s still some ice in there you can put it in your apéritif this evening.” I felt pretty silly, but he sounded happy to answer a silly question about ice instead of having someone call to say “some of my fish died during delivery.”

(I shared my initial hypothesis with him—that the little bag contained the fish in chief who travelled alone in its own VIP vehicle—and he said “Vous avez été chercher loin !” (you’ve thought about this a lot!) and I said “no that was my first theory” and he was like “how was it your first theory”)

Anyway—the fish had now floated long enough and were ready to be scooped out! Their travel water was pretty dirty and the bags pretty cramped, I bet they’re enjoying their 1000L tank with water lovingly filtered by my hardworking vegetables.

Here they are exploring the place! You can see the plants’ roots dipping into the water from each tower (explanation in this post in case you’ve missed it) so they have quite a lot of underwater greenery to play with or munch on. I hope they acclimatise well and enjoy their mutually-enriching relationship with my greenhouse plants :)

never being anyone’s best friend or the most important person in anyone’s life, ever, can really fuck you up emotionally

Creator: Mm, art block. What to do...?

Creator: What do you think, wackus bonkus?

"Wackus Bonkus" (Hand): make angst

Creator: ohh, you naughty wackus bonkus

Was gonna gather my thoughts and write a post tmr on the general mood in the ofts space after the finale bc I feel like a whole bunch of people overthink the amount of editing that was supposedly the result of "promo couple fans complaining too much" but I literally cannot sleep before I get this off my chest so here goes nothing:

Do you guys not understand how tv show productions work....

The script was written, reworked, and then finalized before they even began filming. Yes they might have changed some stuff between the initial scrips draft they had before the mock trailer and the true beginning of production this year but considering that they booked two at the time new but well received promo couples (remember that this show was already in planning at a time when Enchené and The Eclipse were still very very fresh), TopMew and SandRay were always gonna be endgame. It's especially obvious now that the full series is out bc if you go back and watch the mock trailer, all the same storybeats are there. This is how the story was supposed to go from the beginning. They most likely cast two promo couples on purpose because of the added bonus of pre-established compatibility and chemistry needed for endgame couples in such a messy series.

Then they filmed stuff. They finished filming I believe the day that episode 3 aired, so they could not have changed any of the ending based on audience reactions (as I have seen multiple people suggest), since we were barely a few epiaodes into the story. The book based on the series was also already finished and in the last stages of preparing to be released. The only thing they actually did was edit out parts of scenes or full scenes that they found did not add anything at this point in the story (like the sandray garage scene) or would actively harm what we, the audience, are supposed to be understanding and feeling right now (like the Mew smashing shit scene and Top attempting to sleep with someone else, which both were explained to have been cut because audiences were reacting strongly negative to Top even a few episodes into his redemption arc, when we were clearly supposed to start being on his side). They might also have moved some scenes around to aid the story flow but I am unsure of that one (I suspect the scene where Ray and Mew finally solve their shit out was supposed to be directly before the SandRay donut scene bc of obvious clothing reasons, bc they either fucked up hardcore with clothing continuity or moved the first SandRay rehab discussion to after the RayMew talk because it made more sense that way when seeing it played out on screen. If that was the case I am glad for it bc it would have felt a bit weird the other way around idk...).

All of this is however not new. It happens all the time in film and broadcasting production (also in book publishing....this is why editors and alpha/beta readers exist. I mean Brandon Sanderson's books famously go through four (?) stages of feedback before they get published...). Some scenes just get dropped in editing because when you see it on screen it feels redundant or not quite right, so it gets taken out before it changes what they want the audience to take away from other scenes. Movies and tv shows that have months between filming and airing dates usually solve this issue with test screening audiences and several runs of editing. There have been instances of Movies having test screenings at cinemas and then having their release date scrapped because they have to be re-edited completely as a result of unexpected audience feedback. GmmTV series being on smaller budgets and timeframes results in this time window falling away and relying on observing audience reactions to already aired episodes closely and then editing the next episode close to its release is one strategy to still ensure that you bring across what you wanted to (Kdramas also do this very frequently). It might not be ideal but it's not unusual and it certainly does not mean that anything substantial from the story was changed. All the storybeats as well as the character and relationship development remained the same because they already had everything filmed. They did not do reshoots or we'd know it. The story was planned this way. It was in the script. If you did not like it, then you did not like it. But don't accuse the directors of "bending to the will of fans" bc that's just plain wrong.

I too have my issues with some of the writing and some of the characterizations. But let's keep the criticism where it is actually deserved ok?

Edit: I have also seen quite a few people over here and also on Twitter say how disappointed they are in the "editing based on audience reaction" and that they should release a "directors cut" with all the scenes but like....this IS the directors cut. THEY decided how to edit this because the original intent is not always what arrives in the brains of the audience. Storytelling is a two-way street and if a massive chunk of your audience interprets a part of your story so differently to how you intended it to be understood, edits are necessary. Because that means that your intent is not communicated well enough.

done painting my Garfield goth girl

Though I did not know it at the time, Annie would be the changing of me.

Mary and Annie in BBC Ghosts 4.02, Speak As Ye Choose

love shipping, i think shipping is great 👍 super duper love when people imprint on relationships and use them as a source for creativity and content creation!!!!

Definitely dont take it so religiously that you veer into weird, mean spirited Larry territory though 🤠🫶

i enjoy these guys a normal amount

It’s all fun and games to homebrew a DnD campaign in the Diaries universe until you gotta get schedules and peoples sheets and backstories done

Borderline tho I’m so proud of myself. I cooked with some of the divine warrior subclasses and the races of Shadow Knight and Werewolf

oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!

Happy new year, everyone!