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terriblepersongreatseamonster · 3 days

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(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #thoughts from a plus-size girl #it's surreal #I am more than my weight #representation matters #type 2 diabetes

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evermoredeluxe · 2 days

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obvs billie is so, so talented and is a force of her own, but to willingly burn the bridge with taylor mf swift is almost hubris to me tbh. not saying she needs connection to taylor to do well or anything, but of all the people in the industry to piss off, why are you coming after someone who has always come out of any beef big or small thrown at her as a clear winner? why make an enemy out of her when she's known to be incredibly generous and gracious with the people on her side?

like if she dislikes taylor for one reason or another who am i to tell her otherwise but to publicly shade taylor like this is just...unwise to say the least. honestly just do what olivia does and keep that shit in your inner circle. you're just inviting unnecessary drama into your career atp.

all of this. i just also believe it’s also unprofessional.

#anonymous #replies

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mooonzyyyy · 1 day

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moonzy is back with a yap

you all i’m gonna be very sentimental, this is a very much letter from me to dan and phil

Dearest Dan and Phil,

this is so sappy but idc i can’t meet you coz you bitches don’t come to the middle east but i forgive you because i understand why you wouldn’t, anyways as i was saying i have been watching you ever since i was 11 years old, i am now 20 you guys particularly raised me and idk truly what i would do without you

you both have come so far, i know how insane this phandom made you feel and i am so thankful you never gave up on it, it takes a huge amount of power and courage to deal with it you are so much stronger than me, i’m so proud of you <3

phil, the way you are unapologetically yourself helped me become more like myself by just trying new things (need that merch back) and just having fun, your creativity inspires me everyday (please make a little comic book story i would buy it) and i wish i was half as talented as you are <3

honestly never change phil you will always be my go to person for anything whimsy and i adore you, i can not wait to see you grow even more and i hope you jump back into your phil’s whimsy little world i will be watching <3

dan, i already made a whole separate post about you but weirdly while you were growing up i too was growing up with you, when you do anything life changing for some reason i will be doing something life changing myself, i aspire to gain the content and happiness that you have been radiating, i look up to you so much more than most people and i just can’t wait to see you blossom even more, from WAD to YWGTTN and i know there is so much more coming in the dan journey to living your truth <3 (DINOK PLEASE DINOK)

i’m proud of both of you so much and 11 year old moons heals anytime you all do anything you are fixing parts of me that you don’t have to and i just am so thankful for you and the time i discovered you, anytime life doesn’t work i can always rely on you guys, i love you both so much 🫶🏻

thank you for helping me survive and i promise both of you that i will try new thing and have the courage to exist 🥺🤍

#amazingphil #phil lester #dan howell #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan and phil games #MOONS YAPPING

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spaceytrash · 1 year

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I love how I'm so on brand for myself that the first song I can kind of completely play (although play very badly) on bass is Vivosunamela by Bluvertigo

#bluvertigo #morgan #italian stuff #i've been practicing it for 3 weeks now as the first song I play through completely and honestly I'm just getting worse instead.of better #but oh well #probably should tru to save some money to take actual lessons with a proper teacher at the beginning bit oof I'm so broke #and I honestly am not talented at it at all #which pains me cause the bass is the coolest instrument there is #like homestly bassists just exude sex appeal simply cause of being able to play the bass guitar #mystuff

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aimasup · 27 days

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throws up my hands in mock resignation but also a hint of frustration Okay Valentino is a cool villain I guess

He's like. Genuinely unsettling. Wish the show struck a better balance with his character sometimes (like sometimes when he's onscreen I have to skip over because I feel queasy and sometimes he's so unsubtle he feels more like a prop than a guy who's going to be a Huge Deal in s2)

#why yes I have been reading some phenomenal fanfiction lately #a lesser me would be agonising over my inability to ever come close to matching the #masterfully characterised works of these talented WORD WEAVERS #but envy is a spoilt housepest and we must spend less time unleashing it upon new targets #instead let's talk about how these fics discovered its possible??#to write Val as not only a 3dimensional character but a deeply horrifying person to WITNESS #to depict how he thinks and what he wants and what he contributes to the people around him #while acknowledging that his actions are supremely messed up #also without dumbing whatever the fuck is wrong with him down to just 'can't do math and needs a sippycup'#those jokes are funny but he's also a dealmaker #he doesn't need to be studied under a microscope! he needs to be gawked at in abject horror! Oh the Potential!#he needs to tell us more about how depraved hell can be by linking us to a portion of the culture full of the dead who cannot die!#anyways. rant over. uh I think I like valentino now? in the same way I like the old man villain from hunchback of notre dame.#just. (gestures) what is this dude. ew. oh my god #my post #personal stuff #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #is this anything #again I am entrenching on dangerous territory of 'expectations for this media I consume'#he really doesn't need to be written all shakespearean-like #too attached mayhaps #delete later #honestly worried that if the show does reveal his backstory or whatever it'll try to paint him in a sympathetic light #and then the online arguments will be a headache for a month #villain with tragic backstory ≠ sympathetic villain

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iforgotwhaticalledthis · 24 days

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Jamie Jamphibian is such a good DM. like this last episode, and how the dream gives us like a bit of lore while also including a funky game dynamic?? so cool. Jamies ability to let us, the audience know more about the characters while also engaging the player is sos so good. Their worldbuilding, and just general storytelling capability is incredible. Cantripped is such a good dnd podcast and its in no short part thanks to how good a DM Jamie is.

#soop.txt #cantrippped #of course its so good because of how all of the cast are #and how they interact with each other #and they are all in their own right incredibly good at their own storytelling.#Honestly everyone in the cast #both the players and jamie are so talented and cantripped is so good #anyway sorry I am on a tangent #I <3 cantripped

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n-fblog · 6 months

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Reo, Nagi, and Differences from the Main Manga

Thoughts from Episode: Nagi, chapter 17

Reo:

This chapter was kind of needed for him to "abandon" his ego of becoming the best with Nagi (and we can see it sort of fading in the textbox) -- and simultaneously get rid of that growing attachment he has to Nagi. Really sad to see him say, "thank you" as if he doesn't even have the strength to break them apart himself (and he didn't)

The chameleon makes its first chronological appearance so we can clearly see him start to 'adapt' his thinking and playing even though it's not fully fleshed out yet, which is exciting! I wasn't sure if that was something he made up with Shidou before, but it's hilarious to know it all started with Nagi, AGAIN. Or maybe this is the manga trying to convey that he's changing himself to help Nagi walk away lol

His inferiority complex with Nagi makes itself kind of known here, with the monologue- "Those are the words *I* wanted to say,," but was unable to...

Somehow, Nagi being able to encourage Reo makes him the stronger one mentally -- which is tough for someone who subconsciously already thinks he can't go very far without Nagi skill-wise.

Poor guy... and he still has so far to go before he starts to think he can fight on his own.

Nagi:

Man, this chapter pretty much confirms that their mischaracterization and miscommunication goes both ways lol. Nagi spitefully admonishes that he isn't Reo's 'toy' when Reo flips from "wanting to be the best" to "wanting to stay together"-- These guys have such a hard time acknowledging their friendship outside of football, it's actually painful.

I can't tell if he made any sort of connection betweey 'toy' and being Reo's 'treasure'. But that's almost definitely a metaphor on Reo's part. What a lot of people misuse is that Reo calls Nagi his 'treasured possession' when I really, truly don't think he meant viewing Nagi as a literal object. But how else do you expect a rich boy who's only been shown love through material things to describe something he values? *(see tags for a rant on this lol)

I do wish we'd gotten more insight into how he felt when he heard what Reo said in the moment, but this chapter was already long as it is. I do think Nagi's expressions sort of speak for themselves.

I mean, he straight up looks like he's about to cry here.

I would argue that part of Nagi's promise to 'stay together' during the entrance actually includes 'believing in each other' like he says here:

And if that's the case, then what did Reo's claim of abandonment mean to him? Was it that Reo didn't believe in Nagi's newfound drive to win? Or was he mad that Reo didn't believe in himself? I think it's a bit of both, but I really want to see more thoughts in the manga or from the fandom

Blue Lock vs. Episode: Nagi

So... Nagi definitely seems more angry in this chapter, right? When you revisit Ch. 76, you can see that Nagi is a lot more apologetic towards Reo

( Here you see him lament not growing alongside Reo, but fired up and excited to work with Isagi)

vs. what we saw this chapter

(Nagi saying sorry and acknowledging he's changed, but looking less toward the future and more resisting the past)

Maybe this is just a difference in translations, but "I can't [am not able to] go back" feels a little different from "I won't go back" -- the former just feels like an admission (to Reo), while the latter feels a lot more confrontational, a downright refusal to go along with what Reo wants.

And that's fine, but it does reshape how I thought about Nagi, and I think it really emphasizes just how pissed he was at Reo by the end of 2nd Selection.

This reframes their interaction during U-20 tryouts for me. I originally thought it was mostly setting up Reo's chameleon style defense and Reo's internal conflict (which it is) but EpiNagi really just shows that Nagi also has a ways to go before they reunite in Manshine

I think this could be the panel (from Ch. 107, 3rd Selection) where Nagi forgives Reo -- it's the point where Reo sort of shows he understands Nagi's drive to win, and that he doesn't value staying together over improving anymore. After that, they have no issues (in Nagi's eyes) so it was probably easy to imagine walking up to Reo during MC v BM and asking for his help ... but man, we still have a long way til then, and I can't wait for EpiNagi to probably prove me wrong :p

#idk i wrote this all at like 2 am whenever ch. 17 first came out #RANT: I know it's obvious to Reo fans but this mischaracterization of Reo is such a pain every time. Of course he was using his talents for #but his main draw to Nagi was literally the fact that Nagi treated him normally/even coldly #as well as Nagi's obliviousness to his own skill #now that Nagi can recognize how amazing he is: that uniqueness is no longer a 'treasure' of Reo's #honestly the treasure thing could mean so many things it would have to be its own post #Rant over lol)#blue lock #bllk #nagireo #reonagi #EDIT: i forgot like a whole paragraph in my 3rd section lol

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ninety-two-bees · 2 months

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i will forever be obsessed with how talented my friends are

#you all know i could rave forever about astra’s writing #and euge’s microfics #and heart’s art #and maggie’s bookbinding #and honestly this list could be a mile long #because i am constantly surrounded by such amazing and talented people #i’m not going to list everyone here because i’m terrified i’d miss someone accidentally #but if you are reading this #i am stunned by you and your work #(and yes this applies to you even if you’re sitting there thinking ‘oh surely kit couldn’t mean me’)

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mad-hunts · 22 days

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hey, everyone! i have an update for y'all, and i thought that this meme perfectly captured what my situation is rn:

now for the explanation LOL i only have two exams left, and then it's the end of the semester, so that means that i can spend more time on here soon!! plus, this weekend i will be able to get to some asks, so expect some replies to be going out that are probably long overdue ( and i am honestly SO sorry about that, y'all... thing's have just been so crazy for me irl if i'm being honest (,: ) as well as some recent ones! anyhow, i hope that y'all are having a great morning so far and make sure to stay hydrated + eat ❤️ i love each and every one of you guys, MUAHHH

#ooc post.#you guys are amazing NGL and i wanted to thank you for all of your support regarding my acc!!#i honestly was really kind of scared to join the rping community on here at first BUT #you all are so nice that i almost can't believe it 😭 LIKE i felt so welcomed here the moment i joined? and i am??#so thankful for that??? but yeah. like i said i love you guys and i am absolutely astounded by how talented you all are ❤️❤️#and i mean that in the BEST way ofc!!! i shall be working on drafts and stuff but feel free to pop into my inbox-#if you'd like to plot or chat whenever! my messages are always open and i also have disc which is available upon request

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crehador · 2 months

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brother crab's spring 2024 first impressions: wind breaker

LET'S GOOOOOOOOO MY MOST ANTICIPATED SERIES OF THE SEASON IS HERE AND IT IS BANGING

first off i have not read the manga, i love delinquent nonsense but decided to wait for the anime because i just knew the cast would be stacked (and it is)

secondly i was ngl largely looking forward to this one because HELLO ICHISAMA LOVECHILD LOOKING MFER

so my reasons for picking this series up (voice actors and ichisama) are probably not the conventional lmao but even setting that aside and taking an objective look at the first episode...

it was really good! the action sequences especially, both in the op and the episode itself, were so good that i had to pause the ep to look up the staff. not at ALL surprised to see series composition is by the guy who's done that work on other big name series like zom100, jjk, csm, mp100, and more

we haven't really met any of the characters besides sakura yet, so time will tell on group dynamics and such, but sakura is already a really compelling mc to me. we love a punk with trauma in this household

anyway this is only the third series on my absurdly long planning list to air this season, but it's already looking like a strong anime of the season contender for me. we'll see how boukyaku battery goes bc i'm a sucker for sports anime but for now wind breaker is strongly in the lead

#crab watches #spring 2024 #first impressions #wind breaker #SO worth the wait #and also good timing for this to come out after slf lol #because honestly i was like #more or less neutral about yuuma before slf #like i enjoyed him! he's talented (and he's everywhere) but i wasn't going out of my way to watch stuff he's in #but slf made me a fan for sure so yuuma 🥰#a delight to hear him again #also sorry in advance but i am going to be theeeeeee most annoying motherfucker in the wind breaker tag #because sakura is NOT beating the ichisama lovechild allegations with that personality #that's all i'm going to be thinking about. forever

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stuffyflowers · 18 days

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“a mothers love is the best uty track” “retribution is the best uty track” “gift is the best uty track” WRONG!!!!! organ demo

#I am joking of course but dalvs organ demo he keeps in his room is very important to me #bc dalvs arc is all abt self improvement both in regards to his mental health and his hobbies/talents #taking the harsh truth from #penilla and working on improving his art #keeping hold of his amateur organ recording because it could be great some day. and in the pacifist ending we see that firsthand #w/ him finally being confident enough to perform it to the world #like as someone who is kind of fucking going thru it rn both mentally and in trying to express myself fully in my art. seeing him thrive in #the true pacifist ending makes me so happy #yeah that’s right we’re talking about DALV. I love dalv he was honestly my favourite character until the last chunk of pacifist jumped in #with ceroba

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finexbright · 1 year

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#WHY is everyone being so bitter about that speech is beyond me #this is exactly what happens when you take things out of context and focus on one thing #i am not ''defending'' him or whatever i'm just saying that like always things are being taken out of context #people are acting like he SPECIFICALLY said that part for the grammys speech like he's an evil mastermind #practicing that sentence just so he can come and say it at an award show #bestie that's literally the speech that man's been giving at all his concerts that's literally what he says all the time #he was overwhelmed and he wasn't expecting the one and he just. said the words he's always said because he couldn't comprehend #let him be honestly like you're all being so bitter about it as if you saying awful things about it is gonna change the fact that #his album won album of the year. like no matter what you do it's not going to change #plus like. you're all complaining about him being rich please tell me WHO in that nomination list ISN'T rich #i know rich people should die but also like. these people aren't rich just because. they have the wealth because they put in the talent #and effort and fucking worked hard for it man #just because your favourite didn't win doesn't mean that he didn't put out a damn good album. he would not be nominated #if his album wasn't good enough #honestly. let go literally let go you'll find peace and calm

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yippieitsarven · 10 months

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every time I look at how much I need left I cry a little bit IT'S NOT THAT MUCH!!!! PLEASE!! JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE... For my baby....

#honkai star rail #luka hsr #luka strongarm #farming is a pain.#honestly that's probably a totally real tag of it's own #farmers on tumblr where u @ /j #also don't mind how high I'm making all his talents I literally am just being prepared #if I get kafka too #I'm going to cry #because I do not wanna farm more of those purple shits #they will be the death of me

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corvase · 2 years

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do you have any tips on getting started with writing ? i have so many amazing ideas, but i feel like i have to organize and plan every single thing out before i write anything. plus i’m so new to this and worrying if i’m doing it right :( i feel like a fraud because i’m confident / experienced in my ideas but insecure / inexperienced with writing. any help is appreciated — love ur account tinu, and tysm ! ♡

thank u so much:( <3

FRAUD???? for feeling confident??? woah… give yourself some credit. it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been writing and there’s no such thing as writing right or wrong. as long as you’re writing you’re doing good :)

i’m gonna be honest— i don’t think there’s ever a time you’ll not be insecure about your writing, no matter how long you write ; that’s because the better we get, the more we hold ourselves to standards above where we’ve been. so because you’re improving, you start going “well… my writing isn’t that good right now” meanwhile it’s better than where you started whether you see it or not.

planning is good!!!! if planning is what works for you, then why shouldn’t you do it?

i found for my first and second act of my wip, planning helped. the planned version and the current version is nowhere NEAR the same thing LMAO but it helped me know what i wanted to get done and how.

point is planning is good. you should know where the story goes and if you feel the need to write it out, that’s great too :)

if you want help w planning, the writer abbie emmons on youtube has so many videos on it that are so helpful!

i hope this was helpful at all 😅 but i do want you to know that imposter syndrome is real and writers face it a LOT… it isn’t indicative of your talent or effort and it doesn’t mean your writing is any less good.

as for getting started with writing… as every other writer ever has said,…,,. just write! whether it’s writing nonsense or not. you can always go back and edit it and what matters is you have something there.

good luck with whatever project you’re working on— it’s a rocky road but i know you’ll get there. happy writing my love :) <3

#corvase’s blubbering writing tips #am i getting better at this #honestly it breaks my heart that anyone would think they’re any less of a writer bc they just started out… LIKE #YOURE ALL SO TALENTED AND GREAT AND WRITING IS SO HARD JM SO PROUD OF U #AND IM PROUD TO CALL MYSELF A WRITER W THE REST OF U GUYS :))

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lovecatsys · 5 months

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i am soooo good at pretending everything is okay and moving through life while i am internally going through hell i feel like i am going to snap at any moment while i am just smiling and doing everything as if its all okay when its not im hurting so much and so badly and people keep trying to help me but end up making things worse i want to kill myself this isnt fair

#what is the point in life at all #the only thing honestly thats keeping me alive right now is the fact that id feel guilty for dying #because i keep being told how intelligent and special and talented i am i feel like i owe myself to the world #cw suicide

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zackcrazyvalentine · 5 months

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Never in LIFE would I have thought I'd be SIMPING for irl boys/men in my mid-20s, experiencing those long forgotten hormonal reactions of teen years

..............yet here we are 🫠

#HELP ME #THESE SENSATIONS FEEL SO FUCKING STRANGE IN MY BODY 😭😭😭😭#I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT #MY AROACE ASS IS NOOOOOT EQUIPPED FOR THIS 😭😭😭😭#i blame stray kids & woozi from svt #and like.... it's not only feral activity #they're all so cute and talented i am always looking in awe at them #CANNOT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND WOOZI BANG CHAN & CHANGBIM PRODUCING A GOOD FUCKING CHUNK OF HLTHEIR GROUPS' MUSIC #(I'm sure I'm missing other members in prev statement but you get the idea)#honestly....i feel so motivated to do ANYTHING creative i want #bc bro....many of the SKZ & SVT members are MY AGE #LIKE....IF THEY CAN BE SO CREATIVE AND DANCE SO WELL SO CAN I!!!#it will take time and practice BUT I'M GONNA FUCKING DO IT!!!#AAAAAAAAAA 💖💖💖💖#i hope all the SKZ & SVT members get to life a good life #random ramblings #changbin*** my dumbass commiting typo

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