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edwardelricsrightarm · 3 years

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"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #elric brothers #character analysis #disability month #disability positivity #disabled #fma 20th anniversary

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aquietwritingcorner · 3 years

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Writers Month Day 22: House Word Count: 531 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: G/K Characters: Von Hohenheim Warning: NA Summary: Hohenheim comes home, only to find it isn’t there. He takes a few moments to ruminate on this discovery. Notes: There are plenty of stories about Ed and Al and how they felt about their house burning down or what have you. I thought one from Hohenheim’s perspective about coming back and finding his house burned down might be interesting! AO3 || ff.net

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House

Von Hohenheim stood just beyond the edge of where his house used to stand. It had, obviously, burned down. It wasn’t the first time Hohenheim had seen a burned down house. He had seen plenty of them, helped to put some out, caused some, and even been caught in one a time or two. The difference was this was his house. His, and Trisha’s, and the boys’. It was their home. And now it was just a pile of ash.

He wondered, briefly, if anything had been able to be saved from the house. He’d be satisfied with the safe removal of his family. Likely, they were at Pinako’s, which is where he would go next. Even if they weren’t there, Pinako was likely to know where his family had gone. He hoped that they were provided for and taken care of.

His eyes roamed over the remains of the house. It had burned some years ago. That was easy enough to see. Raising two boys without anything would have been hard. Hohenheim knew that Pinako and her family were likely to help, and the community as well. Hopefully, though, they had been able to save some things, like clothing, or quilts, or something. He had some very old and very rare texts in there too that he was sure would be useful to many alchemists—or to sell for money, if needed. And then there were the keepsakes. Trisha’s wedding dress. Edward’s baby blanket. Alphonse’s first shoes. The china passed down through Trisha’s family. Family albums. Memories.

Hohenheim began walking around the edge of the burned area. He could clearly remember what each place had been. He had built this house. He, and Trisha, and the community. He hadn’t used his alchemy on it, wanting to build it by hand. Fortunately, he had a host of neighbors and several souls inside him that knew what they were doing and helped to guide him in the process. It had taken some time, but the house had been constructed, and constructed well.

He had good memories here. They were some of the few that he had. Trisha had made him learn to live, to truly live. He experienced pure happiness with her. He could remember fights with flour that happened in the kitchen, dancing in the living room together, that time he slipped in the tub, she came rushing to see what had happened, and he was tangled in the curtain and his towel, water sloshing about. He remembered tender nights in their bedroom, being by her side during births, the first cries of his boys. He remembered watching her be such a tender, loving mother, of his sons’ upturned and smiling faces, of the toys left scattered about.

There were so many memories that he cherished that happened here.

And now his house was gone.

Perplexed and not having any answers, Hohenheim turned to head back down the road. Hopefully Pinako still lived in the same place, and she or her family could explain it all to him.

He just hoped that he hadn’t missed too much in the time he had been gone.

He supposed he would find out soon.

#writersmonth2021 #von hohenheim #fma #Fullmetal Alchemist #fma fanfic #fullmetal alchemist fan fiction

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

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Hi! I read your post about how E is obviously not going to die, and I keep going back and forth with it. Maybe I am missing something in the manga, but I feel like it makes sense for him to die? Like I think of FMA. Hohenheim was absent in his children's lives. Obviously I do not think E and Hohenheim are the same, and the writing is different for the two, but they both did neglect their duties as fathers. In the end, Hohenheim takes responsibility for his mistakes... (1/2?)

the mistakes that led to his sons performing human transmutation in his absence. I wonder if it would make sense for E to have the redemptive death against one of the final villains in a similar fashion to how Hohenheim dies after the fight with Father. Maybe he fights alongside Touya how Touya probably dreamt of doing as a child aspiring to be a hero like his dad. Maybe he dies protecting Touya then (all of this probably against AFO?). (2/3 actually oops!)

I always thought the panel of E not being at the table was a death flag, but maybe you have a different interpretation! (3/3)

So I can't say I agree that his dream of not being at the table is a death flag. If you look at other characters in the story, like All Might, who have numerous death flags you'll see there's a clear difference.

What makes it different from Ed and Al is that their father was already past his expiration date, and he longed for death because he had to watch his loved ones die before him. Hohenheim dying completed the family because Trish had already died, and Ed and Al had already learned to live without him and their mother. So him dying doesn't leave any loose ends for them. Plus, Ed and Al got closure with their father. Al got to know his dad and work alongside him, and Ed called him dad at the very end. It made sense for them. And Hohenheim's death wasn't sacrificial either. He wanted to sacrifice himself but Ed wouldn't let him. He ended up dying happily and peacefully in front of his wife's grave, and he knew his sons were safe. It was the perfect ending for him.

The thing about the Todofam is that they need to heal. If ANY member of their family dies, yes--even Endeavor, they will not be able to fully heal and get closure. That'll always be a loose end.

That panel where Endeavor is talking about his dream without him there--that was mostly to foreshadow Touya's salvation.

Really I think that whole sequence with his dream is foreshadowing him willing to give up his spot at the table so that Touya can have his spot and his family can heal and move on, but because of the way it's going I feel like they'll offer him a seat. Even if that's not the most satisfying way. As long as Touya is brought home I'll consider it a win regardless.

Another reason I don't think he'll die is because when a villain that has a redemption arc set up is so hyper-focused on ruining and killing one specific person (Shigaraki and All Might, Touya and Endeavor), when that person dies it actually isn't what they truly want, or it isn't satisfying for them even though they thought it would be. Like that's when their moment of change takes place. (It's possible that'll happen with Shigaraki and All Might but I'm not even sure Shigaraki will be the one to kill him at this point. It honestly doesn't look like it.) Touya's set up is different than that. It's less obvious. There is someone involved in the Todoroki plot who I think will die redemptively but it's not Endeavor.

LASTLY--Endeavor doesn't deserve to die because that's the easy way out. That'd be doing him a favor. He doesn't get to just dodge all responsibility, never make up for what he did, and have his family mourn him forever. No, he should have to face the world and step down as a hero and never ever EVER work as one again.

And let his family live extravagantly off his money lmao

#bnha #bnha asks #boku no hero academia #anonymous #todofam #todoroki enji #bnha endeavor #fmab #fma #full metal alchemis brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #van hohenheim

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alchemic-elric · 3 years

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Don't feel bad Edward. Admittedly while we are creepy, we're in this with you. You have alot of losses in your life, that is true, but you have so many gains ahead of you aswell. Watching your mortal life grow is like watching a tree grow, we may cut a few branches off that get in the way but at the end of the day it's you who will grow for yourself. There will still be a day when you'll grow to bloom, you'll look down at your journey, your roots, your choices, and think "it was worth it". ✖

My muse has to tell nothing but the truth for 10 asks. Include ✘ with the asks! 6/10

Something has been there watching his life and deciding what paths needs to get cut from it before he even has any say. Something is there that decided he needed to lose his mom so young. Something is there that decided a five year old didn’t need a mother. Something is there that decided a five year old boy didn’t need a family.

What power does he have? He is powerless.

He thought....he thought he was in control of it all but he’s been walking the path that something else has been grooming for him. He might be able to climb the tree but he’s been presented with options, not an unbound world to do whatever he wants in.

Will he look back at this and think that? Will he walk through all this pain and suffering and think that he did the right thing? He’s been shot. He’s been burned. He’s lost limbs. He’s hurt his mother. He’s hurt his brother. He’s failed his father. He’s perpetually Daddy’s little disappointment. Hohenheim may love him but Hohenheim still left.

He’s seeped himself so deep in love because he’s scared to be alone. Everything gets so dark when he’s alone. Are they really gains or is he just desperately trying to fill in the holes where it hurts so he doesn’t have to feel it? His “tree” has yet to bloom, huh? Will it ever?

He’s replaced anything that hurt him. He’s cast it out. He doesn’t tackle his pain, he discards it. He doesn’t confront his pain. He changes it into something else so it can’t continue to do so. He carries a false strength. He’s a man - no - a boy of many masks. He knows what face to wear and when to fool those around him.

He’s a walking disaster. He can’t even live his own life without someone else having to take the reigns from him. Has he ever done anything truly of his own volition?

When will this day come? When will he finally bloom?

“ i force him to see the consequences. i keep him from repeating your eternal fucking cycle, of highs and lows with no end in sight.”

Will they ever fucking end?

No. He was right.... eternal is the only word for it.

He shifts as he pulls in on himself, eyes to the ground.

“Uh...yeah.”

What do you say to a being that has command over your very existence?

#anon #ask #muse speaks #meme #10 questions meme #tw; depression #tw; bipolar #tw; mental illness #Anon

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antihero-writings · 4 years

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The Empty Throne (Ch1)

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood & Manga)

Fic Summary: It's been a long time since that word died on Ed's lips...but relationships may be the only thing that can come back from the dead. || Exploring Ed and Hohenheim's relationship using the songs "Stumbling in Your Footsteps", "The Alchemist", and "Youth" as prompts.

Character focus: Edward Elric

Notes: This chapter explores Ed's view of his father more early on in the series, using the song “Stumbling in Your Footsteps” by Get Scared as a prompt.

Also, this chapter expands upon Chapter 42/Episode 20 "Father Before the Grave," and includes some lines only from the manga. (I actually highly recommend reading it, because Ed and Hohenheim talk more in it than they do in the anime).

As always, I would absolutely love to write more about this fandom, so feel free to give me FMAB prompts!! You can drop them in my ask box!!

Chapter 1: Living Ghosts

The study door was ajar. Little Ed ran past it without a thought…but as he passed, something in the corner of his eye flickered, and he stopped.

Something. A fleeting shadow, like hope. And his heart staggered.

He backtracked to the door, something in his chest bubbling, a word fluttering to his lips:

“Dad?”

But it dissipated like smoke; there was nothing but an empty chair, and a few flies buzzing in the empty air. Disappointment tugged at his blushing face, before anger took hold, twisted in his chest, and he marched off.

That was stupid of him. How could he possibly think that man was back? It had been weeks now.

“Ed?” His mother popped her head around the corner. “Did you say something?”

“No, nothing. I just…thought I saw something,” he mumbled as he marched up to her.

This wasn’t the first time he’d seen this ghost.

Each time the front door creaked open; each time he saw a shadow across the lawn; each time something woke him in the night, or early in the morning, that word would rise in his chest and ripple onto his lips, and all too often he couldn’t help letting it escape.

And each time Winry came in the door, or a stray dog walked by the porch light, or he found it was just Al coming back from the bathroom… the word would flicker and die.

The hope that planted that word there slowly unwound, a ball of yarn at the center of his chest getting smaller and smaller; a plant withering and dying.

The house was full of ghosts such as these.

Over time that thing in his chest that jumped and hammed at each passing noise, and plummeted into his stomach when there was nothing there, became tamer, less excitable. But it didn’t just die… it changed.

In the fall it became something…instead of bright and warm, bubbling inside him, it was sharp, and burning; a painful heaviness sitting in the center of his chest.

After all, Icarus felt the warmth of the sun before he sank into the cold waters of despair.

And that word, so eager to flutter to his lips, he trapped in a jar.

******

Trisha felt a tug on her dress as she walked through the garden. She turned to see her son’s golden eyes shimmering up at her.

“Oh, hello Ed!” She turned to him, holding the basket at her side. “What’s going on?”

“Are you picking tomatoes?” he asked like his mind was on other things.

“Yes, I was going to make soup for us! You always loved this soup! Right?”

He scratched his head, frowning, then muttered softly;

“When’s dad coming back?”

The abruptness of this question seemed to hit Trisha.

This wasn’t the first time he’d asked this, nor the second, nor the third. Still, each time it hurt her a little more. She understood his reasons…but she knew Ed didn’t. And she’d promised Hohenheim she wouldn’t tell them…not that they could really understand at this age anyways.

She’d wait for him. But she hoped he’d come back soon, for their sons’ sakes.

Her lips curved into a smile all the same—somehow—as she knelt down in front of him.

“Oh honey.” She set the basket down, and put her hands together. “He’ll be back before you know it!”

She smiled, yes…but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It’s been months now.” Ed muttered.

“I know.” She petted his head. “I know its hard. You just gotta be patient Ed. I promise if you just keep waiting a little longer—”

“Yeah but…how long?”

“I don’t know honey.” The sadness tugged at her words; the sadness she was desperately trying to keep at bay. “But I know he’ll come back.”

He paused, looking at the ground, his expression twisting, like he didn’t want to speak the words festering behind his lips.

“What is it?” She asked gently.

“Why did he leave?” His voice was soft. “Were…Were we… not good enough for him?”

“Oh honey.” She put her hand on his cheek. “Have you been carrying that around this whole time? Of course not.” She pulled him into a hug. “You’re perfect. And your dad knew that. You were the world to him. He just...had something he needed to do.”

“What went wrong?” he mumbled into her shirt. “Was it something I said?”

“No, of course not!” She held him tighter. “Nothing went wrong at all!”

He wanted to believe that. He wanted to hold these words like precious jewels.

Once, he could have. Once these words had given Ed hope, made him look forward to tomorrow, be willing to wait. But she’d said them enough by now they were nothing but that; empty, flowery words.

If they were truly the world to that man, why would he leave his world behind? He’d had it all.

They were meant to be a kingdom, a fortress against any obstacle. But the king had got up and left his throne.

Adults always throw around such words when they don’t want to tell kids a painful truth, thinking they’re ignorant. Ed thought that was crueler than simply speaking said truth. Because the more they repeated those things…the more the truth behind them bled through the cracks in their smiles.

The truth that Ed could see behind her smile, the truth that made him begin to cry into her shirt today was that he knew he was never coming back.

******

Ed’s footsteps were rough against the floorboards as he walked into Pinako’s house.

Usually he would give her a pleasant hello, but his irritation was rather boundless at the moment;

“Hey I’m here. Sorry it took so long. Also a stray mutt decided to follow me home.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

Hohenheim froze, peering at him over his glasses.

“Edward! You had your brother and I worried sick!” She smacked him with a dish towel. “Next time call us!”

“Sorry.” He scratched the back of his head. “I got dragged off on an…unexpected detour.”

She pursed her lips. “Some top secret military mission no doubt.”

Before he could respond, her eyes landed on Hohenheim and her expression fell. She glanced between them, and her voice was gentler as she spoke;

“I see you found your father.”

“The bastard decided to materialize is more like it.” Ed put his hands on his hips

“I wanted to warn you he was here…But you didn’t exactly give me a chance.”

“You need warning before seeing me?” Hohenheim looked strangely sad at this.

“Yeah,” Ed threw over his shoulder, “a big blinking sign would have been nice.”

“Well.” Ed didn’t wait for a response before he changed the subject. “I have sand in…places, so I’m going to go take a shower, if that’s alright with you freaks.”

They didn’t have a chance to reply before he rounded the corner.

The floorboards creaked as he marched down the hall, and into the bathroom, shutting the door a little louder than necessary.

He groaned, kicking the empty trash can—(it went flying across the room, since he used his automail leg)—before pausing and leaning his head back against the door.

Closing his eyes, he let out a long sigh. Had he been holding his breath ever since he saw that man?

He hadn’t been lying about the sand…but more than anything he just needed some space to breathe.

The news about Maria Ross, what the Ishvalans said in the Xerxes ruins, the Rockbells…and now Hohenheim showed up? After ten years he picked now? Not when they were in Liore, or Central, or even when Al was there too, nooooo. It just had to be in the three seconds he alone was here.

Three seconds…A day.

…Ten years.

Was the difference negligible to Hohenheim?

That was the only explanation he could think of for why he might react the way he did today. Were all adults like that? He hoped he wouldn’t be when he grew up. Did they not realize how the years felt to a kid? Maybe ten years wasn’t much to an adult like him.

But to someone still growing up? Ten years may as well be a century. Childhood is the only time the years feel long; just a few hours to play is weeks in some fantasy world. Those moments get shorter as each year goes by, like a speeding train, and suddenly you start to see how many seconds you’ve wasted. Kids don’t have that concept. Ed was just starting to understand it himself.

None of them could ever get those years back. They couldn’t patch the memories up with the other sewn back into the gaps. Those years when they might have played together, ate together, practiced alchemy together…just been together. All that might have been was snuffed out when the door shut.

And today, now he walked back in like he left yesterday.

Who did he think he was?

Ed opened his eyes.

What was he doing again? Towels. Yes. He should probably get those.

After cleaning up the spilled trash, and putting the can back, he walked over to the cupboard above the toilet to pull one down—(…the rest fell on top of him in the process—no it wasn’t because he was short).

When Ed saw Hohenheim at the grave, he’d been sure it was a ghost. It was the right place for one, after all. Even a living one.

Over the years he’d seen far too many ghosts of Hohenheim to believe the man standing there was anything corporeal. He was too angry to allow him to return at the moment he was least needed.

After reorganizing the towels and setting his by the shower, he pulled his hair out of the messy braid he’d made, catching his reflection in the mirror as his hair fell across his shoulders.

“We have the same look.”

Ed scowled at the mirror, balling his hand into a fist.

That’s all he had to say, after ten years?

“We do not have the same look.” He muttered to the mirror.

They may not have the same style…but he couldn’t deny they had the same hair and eyes.

He was almost granted the mercy of forgetting. Made sense, considering how long it’d been since he’d seen his ugly mug.

Proceeding to the shower, he turned on the water, the faint hissing filling the room as steam rose, warming the air.

This wasn’t the first time he wished he had inherited more of his mother’s features. More than once his mom mentioned how he and Al looked like their father. That had made her happy, and once upon a time that was enough. But now that they were alone, he lamented the fact that he had his father’s features instead of hers… he’d much rather people saw her when they looked at him.

He took off his clothes, throwing them onto the floor and stepping into the hot water. The warmth spread through him, like a cure to the bitter cold piercing his chest. Sighing, he closed his eyes and put his hands on the back of his neck, letting it trickle across his face.

So long since he’d seen his ugly mug.

Ten years. It may as well have been a century.

The last time he’d seen him it was through the wide eyes of a child, looking up at this towering figure with his back turned. Those cold, gold eyes, looking down at him. Saying nothing at all as he left them to grow up on their own.

He had grown up since then. He’d done and seen things adults couldn’t bear to look at. And he’d stopped seeing Hohenheim through those eyes; those eyes that gazed up hopefully, sure the adults have all the answers, wondering why he did this, assuring himself that man had some logical explanation that he’d come back one day to give them. And they’d forgive him. Some hope he would come back and fix their future. That he wasn’t a bad man.

Now he knew he wasn’t a saint, nor a good man who had simply gone astray. It was much simpler than that;

He was just a fool.

Ed reached over and grabbed the soap.

That was all. There was no deeper reasoning. No explanation to be had. He was just a fool. Some deadbeat dad who couldn’t even be bothered take care of his sons. He chose to save himself, instead of saving them. Left them to make sense of it all on their own.

So that’s what he was doing; making sense of it all. And the sense he saw was that he was a selfish bastard, nothing more.

Their mother had once said that they were the world to that man.

If that was true, he’d had the world right at his feet…and he’d walked away. He had it all, and he stepped off the planet. He hoped he fell into a black hole.

Was it so hard for him to stay, and take responsibility for his kids, and own up to that fact that they were his own, despite the fact that he was a fool? Even a fool could try his best.

Was the look in their eyes so hard to bear?

Today, he hoped it was. Ed hoped his eyes haunted him as much as Hohenheim’s gaze had himself. He hoped he could still taste them on his tongue those ten years. That he could never truly spit them out.

That wide-eyed, shimmering gaze of yesterday had become a fire of glass no one could put out, or shatter.

He knew that no one was going to take care of him. No one was going to comfort him when he cried anymore. The only one who would look after him was himself—(well, and Al too).

—Yet… the moment he saw him, he was hit with a shrink ray. Those wandering eyes, wondering thoughts—

—Dad? I-Is that you? After all this time?—

—Why did you leave? What are you doing back?—

—(Please stay)—

And that resounding desperate plea from long ago he’d done everything to deny, to block out…

Please come home again.

The house was empty. So, unbearably empty. A hollowness that bored into his chest and made a nest there.

When the thunder rumbled outside, the house shook with it; the wind whispering through the corridors.

That word had long since died on his lips; he’d long since stopped seeing Hohenheim out of the corner of his eye; his heart had long since stopped jumping at each passing noise.

Yet, now, when he walked by the kitchen, sometimes he thought he could still smell Mom’s soup. When he strode through the garden he was sure he saw a flutter of her dress. When he lie down to sleep, sometimes he swore he heard the wind whisper “Goodnight,” and felt a kiss on his forehead.

And though that thing in his heart had hardened, the warden of his lips never pardoned, when he saw a shadow across the lawn or heard a stray noise, the image of a man with golden hair and eyes flared up to his brain.

It wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. He was never coming back. He forgot about them, left them to rot away, and for that he didn’t deserve the courtesy of these far-fetched wonderings.

But the house was so empty. And the hollowness burrowed into his chest.

So that night, after hearing his parents’ voices echoing through his dreaming head. Something in Ed broke.

He threw off the covers and stood there in his room, breath heavy on his chest.

The buzzing in his body wouldn’t let him go back to sleep, or lay there doing nothing. Something was vibrating at the frequency of everything he was made of. The resonance animated his legs, carried him through the moaning hallway, down the stairs of that big empty house, and into the yard, where the rain was pouring down.

He ran, his bare feet getting cut on pebbles and sticks.

Was he crying or screaming? All he knew was that humming in his body just kept getting louder.

He tripped on a rock and fell to the ground, his hands smeared in the mud. But he didn’t get up.

That resonance manifested in his throat. And at last he knew he was screaming.

It started with wordless sounds rending the air, like he was some wounded animal caught in a trap, until finally it manifested into words;

“Where did you go, you bastard?!” He roared. “Why did you leave?! Why did you leave us?! Leave mom?! Were we not enough for you?! Huh?! What did you have to lose?!”

His breath cut through his chest in gasps as he sobbed onto the grass, his tears mixing with the rain, the dirt and grime coating his hands and knees.

The thunder rumbled in reply.

This house had once been an illustrious kingdom. They made castles out of couch cushions, cathedrals out of books. They were lead by a perfect king and queen whom they would follow to the ends of the earth.

Until the king packed his things, and left his throne, his riches, his people too. Shut the portcullis, and was never seen again.

Until the queen lie bleeding on the checkerboard floor.

“Mom…please…” His voice was barely a drip of rain now. “Please come back, Mom.”

The kingdom lie in ruins, a crumbling echo of what it once was.

Their kingdom had lost its king, and now its queen too. Two lonely knights wandered the board alone. Who was left to lead?

The word was less than a breath:

“Dad…Dad please…”

Tears streaming down his face he sat up and yelled to the grey, grumbling air, the reverberation in his lungs louder than that thunder, “PLEASE COME HOME AGAIN!”

He fell back down, breathing heavily, shivering, finally realizing just how cold he was.

“I promise to be good.” He murmured. “Let us show you we’re good enough for you.”

The sentences ran out, and finally into the dirt there was only word breathed over and over:

“Dad…Dad…Dad…”

Until, at last, that word was gone from his lips.

He put the soap back and moved on to the shampoo.

The moment he saw Hohenheim before that grave…

He felt so small.

And he hated feeling small.

Hohenheim’s eyes hadn’t changed one bit. He may as well have walked straight back through the door that day.

That look from when he left was a scar across his mind, one that still burned when the nights were long enough, and the days were hard enough. He almost searched his body for the mark.

Even though the anger was sizzling on his tongue, bolstering him up, making him feel superior, he couldn’t help but feel so tiny.

“You were hiding the memory.”

Said so casually, reading him like a book when he’d looked at less than a page. He wanted more than anything for him to be wrong.

—(But when your house is full of ghosts, the only way to keep them from following you…is to burn it down)—

No How have you been, Edward? No I’m sorry I left, Edward. Not even a simple explanation or apology. Were those two little words so hard to say?

Ed felt so sick to his stomach.

He leaned forward, closing his eyes, resting his automail arm on the wall, the water draining through his hair.

He wanted to wash it all away, this day, the scent off his skin…erase the connections. But no matter how hard he scrubbed, the traces wouldn’t come off.

After turning off the water, he reached out from the curtain to grab the towel, ruffling his hair with it, drying off and putting his clothes back on, carrying his jacket over his shoulder.

As he passed by, the mirror taunted him;

You’ll never be free from him.

When he reached the door he hesitated, his fingers flickering before the doorknob. He bit his lip, wondering if he should go out there at all.

He didn’t want to see that man, to talk to him.

It’d been so long.

The look on his face as he left was burned into his mind. When he saw him again, before that grave, for a moment that memory was all he could see. How could that tape, so long stuck in one place, suddenly be moving again? Talking and walking like it wasn’t defective for ten years?

What could he possibly say to him? What should he say to him? What did he want to say to him?

Nothing. Said the wrath that hadn’t been put out by the water.

Everything. Said the little boy in the rain.

He took a deep breath before venturing into the hall, and a long exhale before entering the kitchen.

Pinako was standing at the sink in an apron, stirring something, while Hohenheim sat at the table cleaning his glasses—(ya know, not helping her, like the bastard he was).

Ed threw his jacket on the back of a chair, determinedly not looking at Hohenheim, and walking up to Pinako.

“Can I help you with anything, Granny?”

“Sure. Keep stirring this for me.” She pointed to the pan of the stove, then added, “You should feel right at home.”

Ed looked into the pan to see it was full of bean sprouts.

“WHADDYA TRYING TO SAY, BEAN SPROUT LADY?!”

“I MEANT WHAT I SAID, YA MIDGET!”

The house soon bounced with their indiscernible shouting match.

After they’d exhausted the topic, Ed stirred bitterly, and leaned over, whispering out of the corner of his mouth,

“So do you have any idea what the hell he’s doing back?”

“Beats me.” She muttered. “I’ve got the same information as you, kid; he just decided to show up one day.”

A few sprouts fell on the counter and sizzled as he gave him the stink eye over his shoulder.

“Who does he think he is?” he grumbled, “Showing up without so much as a warning...”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Wja—That’s different!”

“Well…Like it or not he is your father, Ed. Maybe you oughtta trying talking to him.”

“What, you mean like before he decides to jump ship again?”

“I can hear you, you know.” Hohenheim’s level voice broke through.

“Yeah well—good.” Ed grunted and stirred more vigorously, but didn’t continue the topic.

After a moment’s silence, Den clicked over to them and lay at Ed’s feet, whining slightly.

“Hey, buddy.” He switched stirring hands to pet him. “Is something wrong?”

“…Animals have never much liked me.” Hohenheim answered softly.

Ed smirked, scratching Dug behind the ears. “Good boy.”

“Alright, that should be enough, thank you.” Pinako took over. “Sit down, Ed. Supper’s just about ready.”

“Oh.” He backed up, remembering that staying for dinner entailed actually conversing with that man. “Well, on second though I…I’m actually not that hungry.”—(which wasn’t a lie).

Pinako looked at him over her glasses like she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Sit. Down.” She enunciated.

Ed surveyed the room and sat in the spare chair against the wall, facing away, putting his hand on his chin.

After a moment Pinako grabbed the back of the chair and dragged him into the spot opposite Hohenheim.

“You’re strong for an old lady!”

“You’re weak for a young man.”

“Wh—I’m plenty strong!”

“Maybe if you drank more milk.” She put a glass of it in front of his plate. “You’d be stronger.”

“So we meet again ya bastard.” Ed scowled.

Hohenheim looked like he was about to speak when Pinako clarified, sitting beside him,

“He’s talking to the milk.”

“Ah!” His tone shifted. “It appears you and I have something else in common!”

Ed looked between the two like he was about to start a self destruct sequence.

He grabbed the milk and tried to chug it, but quickly failed and ended up spitting it out.

“Nope.” He coughed, milk dribbling down his chin. “Still can’t do it.”

Ed thought he saw Hohenheim’s mouth quirk up slightly, but it was quickly overshadowed by the realization that he was staring at him. Not in a you’re-talking-so-I-should-look-at-you way, but a ah-yes-a-test-subject kind of way.

“Your eyes stuck, old man?”

Rather than apologizing, or stopping—(like a normal person)—he adjusted his glasses to get a better lock on. “This is the first time I’ve gotten a good look at your automail.”

Ed looked at his own arm, realizing there was an unfortunate side effect to taking his jacket off. He looked back and forth from him to Pinako, as if she’d rescue him.

He’d never felt embarrassed about his automail before—actually, it was pretty badass, if he said so himself. But Hohenheim’s scrutinizing continued to be that shrink ray—why? He didn’t care what he thought…

“Pretty nice, handiwork, huh?” Pinako jabbed him with her elbow.

“Yes, expert craftsmanship.” Hohenheim responded absentmindedly.

“Wouldja quit examining me!”

Hohenheim finally broke his lock, resuming eating. “Pinako said it was your leg too.”

“What, you want a fashion show?” He spoke through his food.

“No, no that’s fine.” He said like it was a genuine offer. He took a bite of food before continuing. “So your leg was taken when you tried to transmute your mother, and your arm when you transmuted your brother’s soul into one of my suits of armor, yes?”

Ed swallowed roughly, turning to Pinako. “Did you tell him everything?!”

“Well…He does have a right to know.”

“Since when?! He doesn’t have a right to anything when walked out on us!”

“How old were you?” Hohenheim plowed on like he couldn’t hear them.

“Eleven.” He answered through gritted teeth.

“That’s rather impressive. You were able to bind a soul at just eleven? There’s not many who could do that at thirty.”

It was the first time someone said that that he didn’t think sounded impressed at all.

“How is your brother doing? I would have liked to have seen him.”

“As well as he can be without a body.” He muttered through his food again. He couldn’t really taste anything.

Hohenheim paused before asking softly;

“…Why did you do it Edward?”

Ed nearly choked, jerking his head up, his eyed widening. Was he really asking him this, now?

“Why do you think?!” He stabbed his food without intention of bringing it to his mouth.

“Didn’t you know the risks?”

“We didn’t care!” His voice rose, and he stood up, his chair groaning against the floor. “It’s not like we had anyone here to—oh I don’t know—give us a reason not to!” He paused, then said in a normal volume. “No offense, Granny.”

Hohenheim said nothing. Even though Ed was standing over him, as his glasses shimmered in the light, he still felt as though he was being looked down upon.

That look, that look from when he left, never leaving his face, that look that made him want to punch him—(he would have, if Pinako wasn’t there)—

“I’m going to bed.” He grunted quietly, turning around.

“But you’ve barely touched your food...” Pinako pointed out gently.

“I’ve lost my appetite!”

Ed just caught the words “He’s rather hotheaded, isn’t he?” before he slammed the bedroom door.

It was then he noticed how almost every part of his body was tense.

He leaned back against the door, this time sinking all the way to the floor, putting his hands on his face, digging his fingers in his hair, the tenseness translating to trembling.

One conversation.

One moment.

Ten years.

Once upon a time he waited weeks for him to come back. Once upon a time, he wanted more than anything to just talk to him—he’d take a mere moment. To talk about something, anything.

Now that he was back, he could barely stand to be in the same room with him.

The buzzing in his body made him want to run out into the fields and scream again, to punch him over and over until he was beaten bloody. But this time he remained in place, a creature frozen in ice, trying to break out, shaking in his crystal prison.

Now their kingdom had become more than just a ruin, or an echo of itself…it was a bone yard.

Ed said he wanted to go to bed, and he did, but apparently that translated to ‘lay awake in bed for hours.’

He didn’t know how many had transpired when Hohenheim came in. Ed didn’t directly see him, but he knew it was him. For one thing, Pinako would never be so creepy. He didn’t even do or say anything, he just came, and left. Pervert.

…And the worst part of this day wasn’t seeing him again, it wasn’t the anger broiling in his gut…

It was that as he sat up in bed, staring at the door…for the first time in close to ten years he could taste the putrefied remains of that word on his lips.

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hollywoodhangar · 3 years

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👫 (Ed and Trisha or Ciel and Lizzie??)

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship // @thcsevoices // accepting // you think I am not gluttonous? you think I would only choose one of the two? wrong-o!

People who’ve met Ed ponder at the sort of terror his father must be, so imagine their surprise upon viewing interactions between him and his mother and realize, “oh god, there’s two of them”. Ed gets so much of his personality from his mother, from his tender bleeding heart for the people to his absolute stubborn mule “I will die on this hill” disposition. Neither are passive, and neither give an inch, which leads to some passionate disagreements that leads Al to a state of absolute exhaustion as he watches them split off from each other to cool off. In the Envy Elric au, Envy is the one waving their hand and saying everything will be okay.. yet they split off to drag Ed home to talk it out with Trisha, while Al handles bringing Trisha around. You wouldn’t expect it, but Envy and Al can be some pretty tough glue that brings the family back together much more quickly. They’re an entire four person unit. But Trisha and Ed can’t stay mad at each other for long, not at all. That actually fades away quite fast, and it’s more of the guilt that keeps the distance, and pondering how to fix it. If it isn’t for Envy and Al’s quick interventions, Trisha’s always the first to close the gap, and Ed takes note of that, and puts it into practice later on. Growth.

They share the same drinking habit. :’) They both hold cups and mugs in a very peculiar way that no one thinks is even feasible to drink from, and it’s so distinct you can’t not notice the similarity (they refuse to use the handle, they just straight up pick up the cup from its bottom and hold it that way the entire time. it earns them weird looks and has gotten them chastised from many loved ones, especially at formal events). Lowkey, it makes Hohenheim very, very emotional later when Ed & He meet up down the line, and of course that earns him quite the squint from Edward.

Ed learned how to braid from, of course, his mama, and he learned how to be quite the speedster with it, too! She’d have him braid her hair in the morning, and he’d take it so seriously he’d march right into her room at the crack of dawn if he just so happened to be up before her and tell her it’s time for her hair styling appointment. Trisha just thought it was the sweetest thing. She slipped her own trick into him during the learning process though, passing on a ritual of her own. Slipping a sprig of chickweed between your locks during the braiding process for protection is an old Elric tradition, their own little superstition. A farmer’s superstition, at that. The protection will last for that whole day for as long as you keep that sprig bundled up nice and tight with no possible way for it to fall out. Ed always thought it was poppycock, especially as he grew older and took to science more than silly superstition. However, every now and then early in the morning, Alphonse does spot Ed fixing his hair and notices a little flick of green being tucked into the blond locks before hidden away within the signature Fullmetal braid. Ed thinks he’s being sneaky, but Al is off to the side like :3c

You wouldn’t believe it at first glance, but Trisha and Ed do get into arm wrestling matches for fun whenever the family is brought back together. It looks harmless and innocent, and it is, but Trisha is also actually teaching him how to play dirty if he should ever find himself in a match versus someone who is obviously stronger.. but reminding him to only use these “powers” for good reason, no involving it for normal play matches! Unless it’s against a military official, then go all out. That isn’t the first time he’s learned dirty tricks from his mother, either. She’s taught him in regards for cards too, which we’ve seen him pull on Al during long train rides, and I’m sure he’s also pulled on Envy and nearly got whooped over. The only one this will never completely snow is Hohenheim, because he knows his wife’s dirty tricks and he will quickly recognize them in Ed, too.

They both discover their love for a good mystery novel when the subject is brought up during a conversation regarding the same author they like, mentioned by no other than Sebastian who knew of their mutual interest but figured it’d be ages before the other found out about it, so he decided to get that ball rolling all the sooner. These two completely spun out from there and talked for ages about their favorite books, and what sort of mysteries are their favorites (missing family heirlooms to murders). It felt impeccably good to find a ground on which they’re both passionate about a subject. They share interests such as their love for games, but they hardly have time to discover much else about the other. This is a very well welcomed addition, and leads to them having their own little book club for two. Gives them a lot to theorize about, and they do love having someone to bounce theories off of before the true answer is revealed. The servants and Claudia gush about this.

It will be years before they marry, but that doesn’t stop Elizabeth from fantasizing and sharing her ideas. It makes Ciel’s cheeks burn to no end, but he’s a good fiancé, so he listens and he quietly takes note of just about everything she suggests. Matching outfits are a must, and there’s a debate going back and forth if they should be allowed to see what the other has Nina design for them to make sure it’s perfect, or if they should stick to tradition and not see one another’s attire before the wedding. Ciel thinks they can rely on Nina to make the perfect matching set, but Lizzie is ever fretful. Sebastian will notice when they’re out and about on the town scoping out competition that Ciel has his eyes lingering, window-shopping, looking at fabrics and décor in the windows that are purely for wedding ceremonies, and he has to hide the smirk when Ciel actually goes inside to have a better look. The demon can swear he hears the boy murmur to himself about how this is what Lizzie was talking about, but it doesn’t look quite right.. and then the Earl’ll take notice to the damn demon surveying him and storm from the store in a flustered huff. The boy has no reason to look so onward into the future when he likely will not even make it so far.. but unfortunately, Elizabeth keeps the smallest flame of a dream alive inside of him, keeping alive the flare of excitement, however incredibly, incredibly small it is.. and Nana’s enthusiasm certainly doesn’t help, especially when she offers her own pointers from her own wedding, and says she’ll gift them the cloth she used during her own sacred ceremony. Something olde, something new, Something borrowed, something blue.

Frances was incredibly intimidating as an instructor, but Elizabeth is more gentle and much more approachable. When she inquires Ciel about wanting to be taught how to handle a firearm (met with protest, but eventually weaned into submission through much persuasion on her part), she offers him, in exchange, the chance to learn how to master a sword. Ciel is, in truth, made curious by the prospect. There was trepidation at first, but only because of the lessons he’d gone through with his most merciless aunt. This is Lizzie teaching him now. Their lessons are something that are going to be treated quite seriously, to the depth that Ciel actually fits them into his schedule where he feels it’s most appropriate. From lesson one, they both see just how interesting this arrangement is going to be, and how much more easier it is to learn from one another than very, very intense adults (sebastian, frances). It’s a gradual process that will take place for over a long period of time, but both will come out of it better trained in their desired aspects, and have one another to thank for it. Not only do these lessons deepen their bond, but it works with their chemistry. They learn the other’s pattern in battle, especially during fencing. Indirectly, they’re going to learn how to fight fluidly side-by-side. They become a tiny team that works together efficiently, and are better taught in communication.

Their first kiss will, or would, be their wedding kiss. It’s both of their idea, and there is a terrible guilt that storms in Ciel’s gut when he suddenly thinks on the fact that it is more than likely that the day will never come. It’s a small thing, a first kiss, but it’s so special, and it’s so human. Sebastian doesn’t understand the etiquette or romance behind it, and will never understand the depth as to why there is genuine dark cloud looming over Ciel when he reflects on this. It’s not even just a kiss, there’s more to it. Perhaps it’s this decision that has Ciel truly reflect on the power his death is going to have on Elizabeth. Their love is genuine, and it’s growing stronger, and he knows just how hard she loves him, because he loves her the same. He could think to himself that Elizabeth will find a different suitor and move on, but his mind tells him he’s a fool: Would you move on for the sake of continuing the Phantomhive lineage? Would you move on from Elizabeth? No, of course you wouldn’t. So, why would she move on from you? The Midford who puts aside title and rank for a loved one? The hurdle is the most intense Ciel’s had to overcome in a while because of how tender the love is, and how true it is, how it’s for him and him alone, and how rough it is to tear such affection from the root and push it beneath the floorboards. Causing such a beautiful, true thing to bleed profusely because he’s chosen the path of no return, and he can’t be barred down by it. He’ll love Elizabeth intensely, he’ll never stop until his dying breath, but he can’t be held back by his emotions. He’s pursuing his goal. But damn, if this isn’t the one that made him hesitate, if but for a strong, strong moment.

#(( au where ciel&lizzie grow up and have a happy life and family together. ciel's still pursuing his goal but it's taking a really long time #hahaa.... woo.... ))#(( I hope you like them ok!! ))#long post #thcsevoices #trisha&edward.#♎ [ ELIZABETH; lizzie&ciel. ] ━ 『 you’re my king & I’m your lionheart. ღ 』#♈ [ BLOG; ASK. ] ━ 『 letters to hollywood. 』

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faul-lacks-motivation · 4 years

Text

A Simple Analysis of the Differences Between FMA (2003) and FMA:B

I just spent the past week rewatching both Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and I have THOUGHTS that I need to put out into the void to get over the emptiness I feel from finishing such a wonderful series. Thoughts surrounding the distinct story and theme differences in the endings of both series. Please, come along for the ride if you wish. Spoilers a-plenty ahead.

To preface, I first watched the original Fullmetal Alchemist series about ten years ago, in either 2009 or 2010. I loved it. Everything was amazing, except, I was disappointed in the ending - which is really spawning this whole analysis. After I finished the series, and the movie to cap it off, I found Brotherhood on the streaming service I was using, and was rightly confused. FMA was one of my first introductions to anime, so I didn’t know much about the world of anime or manga. Because of this, I asked my older brother and he told me not to bother with Brotherhood. (Idk if his thoughts have changed regarding this). So, it wasn’t until, maybe four years later that I decided to give Brotherhood a chance. First, I saw a few random episodes on Adult Swim, and was confused that 1) Al could do alchemy without a circle, and 2) why the hell was Ed so tall? For the first confusion, I blame that on forgetting the lore of how the hand clapping alchemy plus the truth gate worked, and thought it was something special only Ed could do. Around this time, I realized that my school library had the FMA mangas, so I decided to start reading them, and was of course, enamored. Then, I think the library didn’t have all of the mangas, and somehow I had realized that the Brotherhood anime was basically identical to the manga, so I decided to pick up in the anime where I left off in the manga.

I honestly don’t have much memory of watching FMA:B all those years ago. Maybe that’s because the last, what, 20 episodes is the finale, lol. But I do remember enjoying the ending, and wishing that I could pair the entirety of FMA with the ending of FMA:B. What I enjoyed so much about FMA was the serious, dark tone of it. At the time, I felt like FMA:B had a lighter, sillier tone to it, and I was pining for those depressing moments in FMA where Ed was losing his mind. What can I say? I like intense characters and shows.

When I began my rewatch a week ago, I was reminded of just how dark FMA was. Of course, I still enjoyed it. I had a wonderful time reliving the show and rediscovering plot lines, and watching the boys do everything they can, but then I got to the last few episodes. To be clear, and for those who maybe haven’t watched FMA, the whole show is dark and depressing. There is very little hope. It is far more brutal and bloody, with the reality and trauma of war, even resulting in the r*pe of a beloved side character. Really, the writers just went off, which I think is evident by the story line of Tucker. The flipside of that, is that the darkness and trauma is toned down in FMA:B. It’s not as gory, and there’s more hope. Even the whole reconnecting the nerves thing that Ed goes through with his automail is far less painful. There is more comedy in FMA:B, but I realized in my rewatch that it is deserved and does not disrupt the tone and still allows for the show to be serious.

Don’t get me wrong, I love FMA for what it is. Like I said, I like intense characters, and I was waiting for those intense battle moments where Ed is scrappy and resourceful, and maybe on the verge of a mental breakdown. We get that in FMA:B too, but just not as much. During my rewatch, though, I realized how slow the pace of the show was, especially when you get to the second half. I’m sure we can discuss that this was because the anime started when there was just a few volumes out and the creator wanted the anime to take on a different story, which they certainly did, but it is slow. Especially when you compare it to the pace of Brotherhood.

Now, my biggest qualm is the ending of FMA. It always has been, and here’s why: there is no internal change within Ed and Al. They end where they began. Writing and pace aside, the end of the FMA series has the boys alone. Loneliness is the one of the biggest differences between the two stories. Throughout FMA, the brothers are always keeping their mouths shut and just trying to stay on track with their mission. The adults, and Roy’s gang, try to step in, try to help and offer support, but the boys are still pretty hell bent on keeping it a family matter. And this gets into the “no hope” aspect to the tone of the show. After shit goes down in Liore and Al becomes the philosopher stone, he and Ed take off on their own. Sure, Roy’s gang stops them, and tries to help, but even then, Ed and Al still stubbornly keep their secrets. Perhaps this is because they truly feel there is very little hope. They know that the philosopher stone is made from human lives. They thought that they had saved Liore, when in reality, they contributed to how fucked up it got (which is a huge difference in FMA:B). Now, thousands of soldiers are dead, they’re fugitives, and Al himself is a philosopher stone. I can even argue that Ed is far more emotionally stoic in this series, which contributes to the tone.

Sure, the boys do achieve some change when they encounter their mother-homunculus. They find acceptance with her death, but they are still alone. And mind you, at this point in the show, we’re winding down, yet these battles don’t feel intense and climatic. They’re somber. Sad. A big theme of FMA is “what does it mean to be human?” This is a big part of Lust’s character, and she does what she can to help the boys, and then fizzles into death, thinking about her human life and love. Sloth acknowledges that she could love Ed and Al, but she wants to kill them, and at the very end she accepts her death. Wrath, a lost child who wanted a mom because he felt abandoned, now loses his mother figure in Sloth, and loses his mind. He’s crying out about wanting his mother and wanting to bring her back (a foil for Ed? What? No way). The boys are separated, having felt loss once again.

Then, we get the final battle. I’ll gloss over the parallel world thing, but what we get, is the boys going into battle alone. Sure, Al didn’t have a choice, but Ed did. He is so caught up in his turmoil and his desperate need to save his brother from his mistakes. He can’t fathom bringing in anyone else, and the crazy part is that all the adults in his life let him go into battle alone. There is nuance to that, of course, it’s not so cut and dry, they all had shit to do, but still. Even with Hohenheim around, he offers very little to his sons, and also goes off into battle alone (which yes, is similar to FMA:B, but his decision kept the boys out of the loop, and fucked up everyone).

And then, in the most anti-climatic moment, Ed dies. Envy shocks him with the reveal of his appearance (which I would call bullshit on), and he straight up dies. Not in a heroic way, just in a sad, he ran out of luck way (which is reflective of the serious tone of the series). And really, even with all of that, the boys basically luck their ways into saving the world. Once the villain is taken care of, Al does something out of desperation. He uses the philosopher stone, and sacrifices himself, to save his brother. What ensues is a cycle of toxic desperation and sacrifice. He uses the stone, which really, they both said they shouldn’t use because of the lives lost. What he does, is not accept the reality and finality of death, which if they were going to have an internal change by the end, it would be accepting that. But he doesn’t, so he brings Ed back. And then Ed, not respecting that his brother wanted to give himself up, decides to then sacrifice himself to bring Al back. What we see, is the same problem that they got into in the beginning. Their incapability to accept death and move one. They can’t even find a new way to bring their bodies or souls back, Ed does what he did when he was a child to sacrifice himself to bring Al back. And the sad thing is that Ed is completely calm during this. He knows what he is doing. And, it is sad. Even after that, when we learn of the new, younger Al, who doesn’t even have his memories of the past 3-4 years of him and his brother, states that he still wants to continue their mission. What we see, is that nothing was learned. Al is going on the same mission he started the series with. And sure, at the end of the movie that finished the series, they are back together, but they are alone in a different world without alchemy. And we, as the viewers, know that there is very little chance of them coming back to their home world. FMA ends, with the boys alone, still.

Now, on the flipside of that we have FMA:B. Instead of the boys stubbornly refusing help until the very end, they let others in. They know that they need help. It’s why the finale is basically the last 20 episodes, because there are so many moving parts to save the day. And I’ll be real, when watching those final episodes, I did find myself wanting more of solo brother moments. I wanted to see more of Ed’s resourceful fighting, but because he had so many people on his side, he didn’t need to resort to that. And that truly is the point of FMA:B: having people on your side. Getting down to the last moments, what we have is 1) a far more epic battle, and 2) Al still sacrifices himself. BUT, this sacrifice feels justified. In the moment he decides to do so, he knows that Ed is about to die (emphasis: about), and that his soul seal is about to break. His sacrifice calls back to the other soldiers who sacrificed themselves to get in a mortal blow on the enemy. And Al uses logic with this. He realizes that if Ed gave up his arm for Al’s soul, then the reverse is true, and in that moment, Ed needs his arm in order to fight back. Al knows, that either he does nothing and they both die, or he sacrifices himself because he was going to die anyway and save his brother and everyone else.

And Ed accepts this. He is angry and upset, of course, but he is able to stop the bad guy. And then we see his internal change. He is offered a philosopher stone to bring back Al. He says, no, of course not. His own father insists and offers himself because he is a philosopher stone. Again, no, of course not, this is our problem, we can’t sacrifice anyone else. So he thinks. He realizes everything he now has in his life, everything he gained, and decides to sacrifice something he really doesn’t need: his alchemy. If you think about it, the only reason he got so invested in using alchemy was out of lonely desperation to bring back his mother, and then to restore Al’s body. Why would he need alchemy when he has the support of so many loved ones and his brother?

With FMA:B we get a satisfactory ending. Because the brothers are able to change and allow support from others, they are able to get back what they wanted. (I would assume that Ed probably didn’t care too much about getting his limbs back if it meant he got Al back, but hey, one out of two aint bad). Ed and Al are able to move on, and look brightly into their futures. Personally, I found that Ed being unable to use alchemy a bit of a bummer, but again, he recognizes that he doesn’t need it, and in the ending he reflects that the sacrifice was worth it, because it was. He got back his whole world and then some.

What we have are two very different stories. I would argue FMA is a cautionary tale of loneliness and refusing help. FMA:B is the opposite. While both are enjoyable and intense and cinematic, that difference sticks with me.

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #Edward elric #alphonse elric #meta #fma #fma:B #I seriously love this series so much #I could honestly go on and on about how amazing it is #there is so much more I could say #I hope you enjoyed

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scribblescrabblebabble · 4 years

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FMA Gift Exchange 2019!

Title: Snow Day

Rating: T+

Relationships: Roy Mustang/ Edward Elric; Trisha Elric/ Van Hohenheim

Cross- Posted on AO3 (link)

This is my (kinda late :/ ) gift to @melissamelody for the @fmagiftexchange on Tumblr. They said that anything would do, and I was inspired to do a cute fluffy snow thing because I have never gotten a lot of snow over the holidays due to where I live, and I'm finally about to get some up at my college, so it has been on my mind a lot! I hope you enjoy!

------------------------------------

It took Ed several loud thunks to realize he had been awoken by snowballs. On his window. Flicking his gaze to the alarm clock a foot from his face, Ed rolled his eyes and nestled deeper into his pillow.

‘8:00 am! What kind of cruel fuckery is this?’

The thuds continued for far too long, hitting square in his window just when he thought the tirade over. After about the millionth thud, a new sound disgraced Ed’s sleepy daze: the loud buzz of his phone on the mattress by his ear. With an indignant grunt, he rolled his face to the edge of the pillow (out of the nice, warm divot his head had made through the night) to glance at the screen.

‘Message from Roy <3 : Get up! Hands r numb from snowballs :( ‘

“Of fucking course,” Ed grumbled, pulling himself blankets and all from bed and over to the window that stood mockingly across the room from him. He pushed the window open as far as it would go, leaning out into the frigid winter air cocooned into his comforter indignantly.

Below him stood his stupid neighbor-boyfriend, covered to the hat in flakes of snow and a truly ridiculous number of floral coats and scarves. Around him spots of frozen grass were visible where the teen had scooped up snow to form his projectile annoyances. He smiled radiantly up at Ed’s scowl, “Morning! Look, it’s snowing!”

Ed rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I can tell, dumbass Southerner. You look like you’ve been rolling around in that shit for hours.”

In response, Roy just shrugged, still grinning like an idiot, “And you look like a quilted burrito.”

“…Paisley marshmallow.”

“Grumpy caterpillar.”

“Bastard.”

“Killjoy—Oh, good morning Mrs. Elric!” Sure enough, Ed turned to where Roy looked, spotting his mom’s head poking out from the front corner of his house.

“I thought I heard something! What’re you doing out here Roy?” Trisha asked.

“Serenading your son, ma’am.”

Ed snorted, “Yeah, with projectile snow. Mom, tell him to stop being shitty and let me sleep.” Trisha looked up, noticing Ed’s disgruntled form. She laughed, “Oh my, I see I’ve interrupted! Roy, dear, why don’t you come inside and have some coffee? You look near frozen.”

Ed let out a betrayed shout following Roy’s polite ‘yes ma’am’, “You’re supposed to be on my side Mom!”

Trisha scoffed, “And pass up the chance pick on you? Oh, please, I’m your mother! Get dressed, it’s a beautiful day to be up early.”

“Ugh, fine.” The blonde stuck his tongue out at Roy’s smirk before pulling his head from outside, relishing in the warmth of his room tingling against his cold cheeks.

He hefted the window closed, letting his comforter fall to the wayside in the process. After struggling into a less-rumpled sweater and jeans, Ed gave his invitingly unmade on last, wistful look before leaving his room to face whatever bad joke he could hear Roy politely laughing at downstairs. In the kitchen, Ed found his boyfriend (shed of his comical layers of warmth) receiving a mug of coffee from a scrub-clad Trisha at the table, his similarly-clothed dad tapping away on his phone by the counter where it was plugged in.

“Work day?” Ed asked, making Hohenheim look up. “We were called in a minute ago. Apparently, the snow caught a lot of people by surprise and the ER’s packed.”

“And because a ton of people are injured, you decided to wear matching cat scrubs?” The blonde teen took the coffee proffered to him by his mom and sat by Roy, who kicked his foot lightly in greeting. He kicked back.

“It couldn’t have been a nice coincidence?” Trisha asked innocently.

“Absolutely not.” Ed deadpanned, sipping the coffee and finding it pleasantly over-sweetened. He turned to Roy, whom he found gazing out the window at the flake-coated tree in the (other) neighbor’s lawn. The former elbowed the arm not holding a mug of coffee and asked, “What haven’t you done yet in the snow? Since I just so happen to be up this early, we might as well do something.”

The dark-haired teen was silent for a moment, sipping thoughtfully at his drink, “I’ve really only been in my yard today. Maybe we should walk around.”

Trisha interjected before Ed could comment, “That’s a lovely idea! The park always looks beautiful in this weather. Just be careful; as much as I love spending time with you, Ed, I don’t want you making any unexpected visits to us at work today. You wither, Roy, your aunt would have a fit.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Kissass.”

“It’s my Southern hospitality, Ed.”

The aforementioned scoffed, “You’ve been out of there for like a year and a half, the hospitality shoulda worn off by now.”

Roy faked an affronted look, “A gentleman never loses his hospitality!”

“A gentleman who throws snow at his boyfriend to wake him up at 8 am?”

“Yep!”

Ed let out a small laugh, “You’re hopeless. C’mon, it’ll take half an hour just to put all of your coats back on- best go ahead and get started.”

“I like being warm. ‘S not my fault Riza stole my good coat to walk Hayate.”

“You aren’t going to have breakfast?” Hohenheim asked Ed as he grabbed his keys and herded his giggly wife out the door.

“I’ll eat later.” Ed waved his parents off as they closed the door, leaving the young couple sitting with their coffees at the small kitchen table. The blonde turned to the other, “My family’s way too used to you, you know that?”

“I prefer to think they’re just the right amount used to me,” he stood, walking to his coat-pile, “Besides, I could say the same for you and Aunt Chris.

Ed huffed, moving beside Roy and taking his thick red coat from its hook, “That’s different- Miss Chris’s been out neighbor forever. My folks’ve only known you for like a year. You’re just way too charming for a seventeen-year-old.”

“Seventeen and a half, thanks. And you’re too grumpy for a sixteen-and-three-quarters-year-old. Ready?” He had just finished putting his final scarf (purple with blue roses) on as Ed yanked some gloves on and opened the front door.

The blonde was still cringing from the blast of cold air as Roy sped out into the blanketed lawn. He gained his bearings and joined, standing with his boyfriend in the whiteness.

“It’s so peaceful.” The older teen commented, looking into the cloudy sky serenely.

Ed hummed his agreement, crunching over to the shoveled-off sidewalk, “Let’s go,” he said with a small smile.

Side by side, the two strolled in peaceful silence, Roy taking in the new scenery and Ed silently enjoying his boyfriend’s company. The park sat two blocks from their houses, and since the neighborhood did not boast of a huge population of children, the mid-morning snow sat untouched on the park’s grass and benches.

“Your mom was right, Ed, it really is beautiful here. Look at the trees!” Roy exclaimed, grabbing Ed’s gloved hand in his own and dragging him further into the space. They ended up under one of said trees, the branches little black outlines against the piles of snow atop them. Both were content to be close to one another, looking around at the scenery for a time.

The moment, of course, was not destined to last, as just then two particularly large snowballs collided with their faces quite spectacularly. Both teens startled back, stuttering and wiping the freezing material off of their faces. Ed whipped his face to the tree’s large trunk, behind which he could hear uproarious laughter and two excited dogs’ barking.

Just as Roy shouted an indignant, “Riza!”, Ed yelled, “Fuck off Winry! You too Al!” Three giggling blonde heads popped out from around the tree, Den and Hayate yipping at their heels.

Quicker to react than Ed, Roy responded to the attack with a chunk of snow to Riza’s face. She was still in shock, then grinned and made to form a new ball. They scattered, laughing, and the wintry war was on.

~End~

#royed #safe RoyEd #fmagiftexchange #gift type: fic #gift fic #fma #fanfiction #snow

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shanastoryteller · 5 years

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in another life

(written as a thank you for @another-annon)

Two brothers seperated from the rest, a country limping along, a plaything with a missing eye and a broken heart.

This isn’t fun at all. Truth wants to have fun.

It looks down at the world its created, at he destruction and chaos and pain. It’s not as satisfying as he hoped it’d be.

“Again,” it says, giving a lipless grin as its voice send out echoes, waiting.

Ripples shift and bend, pushing time back to the start.

Roy wakes up crying. That’s not too unusual, so he runs his hands over his face to wipe the tears out of his eyes.

Wait.

His eyes.

He stumbles to his feet, nearly tripping over his feet as he runs to the bathroom. It takes him a moment, staring at confusion at a bare living room, before he realizes his bathroom has moved. What the fuck. He trips in, flicking on the light.

He has two eyes. And he’s young, so painfully young. Is he even drinking age? He sure hopes so, because he really feels like he needs a drink. He runs his hand over his smooth chin, and well, okay, maybe not.

“Roooooooy!” sing songs a familiar voice, and oh no, he really is in the past somewhere. “Wake up, it’s time for breakfast!”

Vanessa as an adult is terrifying. As a teenager, she’s what nightmares are made of.

He scrambles for a pen and paper, throws some clothes in a backpack, and leaves a note for his mother.

Madame, have to go off and save the world. Will be back. Love you.

The first thing he has to do is find Maes, obviously. It’s a bit of a problem that they don’t know each other yet, but he has a solution for that.

He waits until he’s walking home from school, grabs him by the back of his shirt, pulls him into an alley, and shoves him against the brick wall. “I don’t have any money!” Maes says, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Check my pockets, I don’t have anything, really.”

“I’m not dumb, I know you. The second I loosen my grip you’ll have a knife at my throat.” Maes wasn’t so much borne of war as born ready for it. He loses his scared facade and raises an eyebrow. “I know you think about cutting out your father’s throat every time he raises his hand to your mother, that you cheat on all your math tests, that you have a crush on John in your chemistry class, and that you tear pictures of places you’d like to visit out of magazines and keep them tucked in the back of your closet.”

Maes’s curious look has morphed into a fascinated kind of horror. “Who are you? How do you know that?”

“I’m your best friend,” Roy tells him, “and I need your help to stop a war before it starts.”

Maes can’t resist that, so he goes with him. Roy knows how to make money on the road, even as a not quite eighteen year old, and he’s incredibly pleased to teach Maes how to hustle pool instead of the other way around. He’s still better than Roy at poker, even with a decade’s less experience, and that only stings a little.

Eventually, they make their way to General Grumman.

Roy’s not stupid enough to think they can do this on their own. So he gets a little help.

Things move fast after that, because they have to. Stopping a war is no easy task. There’s hunting down the homonculi, finding and killing Dante, finding that damn Ishvalan and Izumi Curtis and telling them exactly what will happen if they attempt human transmutation.

It’s too early to go after the Elrics. But this time, he won’t be too late.

He’s twenty years old and high off his success, off the war that isn’t happening and all the lives they’ve managed to save. Maes is laughing as he tugs him close and slots their mouths together.

For a moment, Roy freezes. He thinks of Gracis and Elysia, thinks of Edward. Thinks of the love that beats beneath his breastbone for his younger lover, for the fire in Ed’s eyes that he wouldn’t be able to tame even if he wanted to.

Then that moment breaks and he’s surging forward, licking into Maes’s mouth and biting at his lip.

That life is gone. That world is gone. This is the one he has, and he’s not going to waste it.

It doesn’t work the same for the others.

Ed and Winry are four and Al is three when they all start getting nightmares about horrors that none of their parents can explain.

Then one day they all wake up, and all the nightmares make sense, and they remember everything.

The first thing Ed and Al do is go to their father’s office. “Hello boys,” he says, and with older eyes Ed can see the way his lips tip up at the corners, the way he softens when he sees them, all these things he hadn’t noticed when he was actually a child.

They both silently crawl into his lap and they each grab a pen. He laughs, leaning back in the chair and letting them scrawl over his notebook.

They know the exact moment he realizes what they’re drawing. He tenses and sucks in a deep breath. “How-”

“If you leave, Momma gets sick and dies. This is the circle we used to try and bring her back,” Ed says, tapping the left page.

“We know more than we did before,” Al says, and points at the circle on the right page. “This is the one we’ll use to bring her back if you leave us again.”

They wouldn’t, even if it might work, they learned their lesson the first time. But their dad doesn’t need to know that.

Hohenheim doesn’t leave, and they don’t tell Trisha what they are, how they’re her sons but not the innocent little boys she thought they were. When she gets a cough and starts feeling dizzy, Hohenheim is there. He uses the philosopher’s stone to heal her, and Ed and Al can finally breathe easy.

Winry’s problems aren’t so easy to fix. Her nightmares don’t stop.

She loves her parents, and she knows their dedication to their duty, to their work. She knows it because she’s just the same, she’s a doctor that’s walked into more than one warzone with her head held high. Even if she tells them everything, tells them that they’ll die in that war - she doesn’t think it will change anything at all.

They went to war knowing that they could die, but believing their work was more important than their lives.

The part of her that’s their daughter wants to hold them close and never let them go.

The part of her that’s a doctor knows where they’re going is where they need to be, even if it kills them.

So she waits, and wonders, as time marches on.

There’s no war.

One day Ed and Al crawl into her window and Al says, “Grumman is the Fuhrer here!”

“Huh,” she says, something dangerously like hope in her chest.

Time passes, and there’s no war to take her parents away from her.

Ling doesn’t get any warnings, like dreams, and he doesn’t even get a nice smooth transition between sleeping and awake.

He’s walking down the hall of the palace, ignoring his mother’s lecture on why he needs to focus on his studies, when he trips, flips before he can fall, then says, “Motherfucker.”

“Ling!” his mother exclaims, “When did you learn how to curse in Amestrian? What are those tutors teaching you, honestly!”

“Sorry,” he says, mind racing.

He’s not the emperor here. He’s not immortal here.

Does he still want to be?

The immortal bit he can take or leave, but the emperor part? Oh, yeah, that he wants.

Roy considers joining the military again. He knows it. He’s good at it.

But in this world, he doesn’t have any sins to suffer for.

“I think I want to be a professor,” he says, head on Maes’s chest. “I can be your army wife.”

Maes laughs and leans down to kiss his forehead. “Whatever you want, darling.”

Ed and Al don’t join the military. Instead they do what they forbade their father to do.

They go traveling.

“Xing?” Ed asks, grinning, “Or Drachma?”

“Xing,” Al says firmly. “At least there I know the language.”

“Well, I don’t know either language,” Winry says, tossing an arm around each of their shoulders. “But I never did get my hands on the Xingese alloys.”

They’re in a middle of nowhere town in Xing when a familiar grinning face swings through their window. “Hello,” Ling says. “I’m making a bid for the throne. Want to help?”

And they don��t understand how Ling knows or remembers, but it doesn’t matter, he’s their friend, and well, their lives have been a little boring.

Of course they help.

“Don’t go,” Ling says when it’s all over, his hand tangled in Ed’s, dark eyes imploring. “Stay here. With me.”

“I,” Ed starts, heart in his throat.

Ling was his first in both worlds, and here, where they’re a little less broken, they fit in way they hadn’t before. But –

“Your general is probably out there, somewhere,” he acknowledges, because he knows Ed, knows what he’s thinking without him having to say it. “You could probably seduce him, if that’s what you want.”

He could, is the thing. But is it? He loved Roy almost more than anything in his old life, more than anyone besides Al maybe, but – the person Ed was, and the person Roy was –

Those people don’t exist anymore.

“Yeah,” he says, “but you’re here.”

It’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but Ling knows him, so he beams, pulling him close for the kind of kiss that’ll leave the servants whispering around them for weeks.

Years later, Ed is in Amestris at a stuffy military function, forced to attend as the Prince Consort of Xing, which is the most annoying title he’s ever held.

“Fuhrer Hughes,” Ling says diplomatically, his hand on the small of Ed’s back.

“Emperor Ling,” Maes returns, and Ed never got to see him this age before, and it warms him to see the wrinkles in the edges of his eyes. “I of course know of your companion. My husband is a huge fan of your work, Prince Edward.”

“Is he?” Ed asks, finally bringing himself to meet Roy’s dark eyes. He looks good. He always looks good, but now he looks better, two eyes and looking younger now than when Ed met him the first time, without all that regret weighing him down. “I’ve read a few of his as well. Mr. Mustang, your strides in flame alchemy are well documented.”

“Thank you, but truly, you and your brother’s grasp of biological alchemy is unparalleled,” he says, perfectly polite.

Roy and Edward sneak glances at each other all night, and they both can’t help but think –

- in another life, perhaps.

#fandom ficcery #fma

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zetalial · 5 years

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FMA 03: Fathers

Okay, I thought I’d do a post about Father’s in FMA 03 like I did with Mother’s in this post and...

Ha, Ha, Ha. Fathers are terrible in FMA, aren’t they? There’s like one bright spot. I will be speaking mainly about fathers in regards to the Elric brothers.

Regardless...

I’ll start with episode 1. We’re introduced to someone called Father Cornello. Of course, it’s a title to indicate that he’s a holy man rather than seriously meaning a paternal figure. If it is in any way an intentional theme (given he does want to present himself as a caring man who can take care of Liore) well soon enough his true nature as a fraud who’s really interested in power is revealed.

His falseness can be contrasted with Rose who is later given the title Holy Mother - she didn’t seek the title herself and her care for Liore and its people is genuine. Where Cornello makes great speeches full of lies, Rose is mute and yet honest in her intentions. But I digress.

Moving on, Ed and Al do not have a father. Their father abandoned them at a young age and all they remember of him is his absence. Likewise, both of Winry’s parent’s are dead and they grow up without any sort of father figure. I like the phrasing of the dub here. “I wouldn’t say I hate him, I don’t remember him enough.”

With the death of their mother this morphs into a firmer dislike from Edward (Alphonse still wants to know their absent father). Despite their father’s absence they take after him, learning alchemy from his books including the forbidden stuff. Their attitude can be contrasted with the Tringham brothers in episode 11-12 where their father is dead and they’re learning alchemy in honour of his memory and to be like him. It’s why they’re so motivated to save Xenotime such that they’re convinced to use insidious methods. Ed meanwhile hates to be compared to his absent father.

The one exception to the absent or terrible fathers is, of course, Maes Hughes who seems to genuinely care for the brothers. He helps them for no other reason than that he cares for them. He is great. He throws Edward a little birthday party, sits and talks with him at meals, gives him help and advice, sends Armstrong to tail them as protection. They have a great relationship.

In the above scene, Hughes decides to tell Ed that Scar was responsible for Nina’s death rather than deciding to keep the information from him. Even when Maria Ross suggests its too dangerous for the Elrics to continue searching for the stone, Hughes continues to enable them while giving them protection as he knows that otherwise the boys would just strike out on their own. Edward in turn opens up to Hughes, deciding to tell him about the homunculi behind Lab 5. Obviously, he is not just fatherly towards the Elrics but dotes on his own daughter and loves his wife. So of course the homunculi kill him.

Hughes great family can be contrasted with Shou Tucker and his daughter. Tucker welcomes the Elrics into his home and soon becomes sort of like a father to them, providing them support and a home while they prepare to join the military. He’s kind and offers them advice where he can, even recommending they stay away from the military. He seems to love his daughter Nina too. But just like with Father Cornello, it’s all a facade. Just as Cornello made chimeras that sounded like real people to maintain his illusion of power and respect, Tucker turns people into chimeras in order to keep hold of his life as a respected State Alchemist.

Tucker turns Nina into a monstrous chimera in some misguided attempt to retain his old lifestyle showing that at his core he is awful and selfish. Just like that, Ed and Al’s replacement home has been destroyed as thoroughly as their initial home. And it was a home for them. That’s partly why the reveal shakes them so much. Their worst fears confirmed in the worst possible way.

I guess they do still have Sig Curtis. I mean, they’ve been avoiding him and Izumi for years but when they are with him its okay. He’s nice and cares for the boys though he’s ultimately a pretty quiet person who tends to follow his wife, Izumi’s lead. Maybe he could be a good father but we never see any moments of the Elrics bonding and looking to him for advice unlike Hughes or Tucker. We never see him show any care towards Wrath in the series either. Mostly he’s just there for Izumi.

I haven’t mentioned Mustang, have I? That’s because he an absolutely terrible father figure as well. He does care for the Elrics but that’s really not enough. Upon seeing an unconscious crippled 11 year old Edward, he... recommends they join the military. Yeah. Become a child soldier and leave what’s left of your childhood behind.

His amazing ability to show he cares continues when he tells a crying Edward to just get over Nina’s horrific death and move on with his life. Upon learning about Liore he decides not to tell Edward in order to protect their innocence - this just ends up backfiring, He also keeps Ed in the dark about Hughes’ death. Edward ends up furious that these were kept secret from him. Seeing Ed is in a bad mood after his fight with Scar and he’s missing his arm while Al’s armour is wrecked, Roy decides to make fun of him in an effort to get a rise out of him. Truly it should come as no surprise that Edward does not trust Mustang. Ed is surprised to learn Roy cares at all when Mustang finally opens up in episode 43. Yeah, Mustang could be an alright friend to the Elrics - they do have a fun, teasing dynamic - but he makes a terrible father to the Elrics.

And finally, Hohenheim. He is absent for most of the story. When he finally does show up, he doesn’t offer any excuses for his behaviour, doesn’t really offer them anything at all. When Al is interested in getting to know him, he does spend a bit of time with him, only to leave once more in the middle of night.

Hohenheim is pretty aware of his failings and does attempt to do the right thing in confronting Dante. It goes badly. We do learn that he’s been equally terrible towards Envy, creating the homunculi and then abandoning him to Dante presumably because he saw Envy as a pale imitation of his long dead son.

At the end of the series, Ed is with Hohenheim and he’s forgiven him, it seems. He’s been pacified with the revelation that Hohenheim did love Trisha and is saddened by her death as well so Ed’s let go of some of his hate that was the result of blaming him for Trisha’s death. They’re an odd pair but Hohenheim is trying to at least give Ed the needed support in the new world. I doubt they’re truly close, it’s more that circumstances have pushed them together. Still we do see him giving Ed some advice and encouragement while letting him go seek out his own answers.

And that’s basically all the Fatherly figures in the series barring, like, the innkeeper from Yousewell who was an alright guy, I suppose. And there’s Pride who I guess is a bit of a fatherly figure to his soldiers. Very friendly and personable with that sort of Grandfatherly persona. Yet again, it’s all fake though. He has cultivated this image with a perfect-looking family but he won’t hesitate to strangle his son and start wars.

Er, maybe Armstrong could be read as fatherly? He is kind to the Elrics, taking care of them and worrying over them. I always struggle with Armstrong, I’ll be honest.

Yeah and that concludes this post. We’ve got absent fathers and people who pretend to be fatherly and people who fail at it. And we’ve got Hughes who is wonderful. And dead.

Maybe I should’ve done this post for Brotherhood instead? Mustang and Hohenheim are more fatherly and there’s a villain called Father. Eh, but then they do less with Hughes and Tucker. I don’t think anyone would want to hear me talk about Brotherhood anyway.

#fma #fma 2003 #edward elric #my posts are always about ed in some way #this is mainly about figures who are fatherly towards him #or not rather #thats why every picture has ed in it #i did not expect to talk about cornello of all people #never really thought to compare him directly with rose #or tucker #i was going to say fathers were presented worse in fma than mothers #and like show the image of Pride strangling his son #then i remembered that Izumi strangles her son at one point #and so its more like yeah the shows made up of terrible and damaged people #and ed and al grow up in the cold military instead of a loving family #good job roy #hes so manipulative #i dint even mention the fact that hes basically blackmailing ed and al #threatening to reveal that als a hollow suit of armour if they dont listen and obey his commands #he probably would not actually do it #but the brothers believed him #that al would be sent to be experimented on as a lab rat #top notch father figure #mustang is truly a friend not a mentor #despite the age difference #meta #myposts

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lady-charinette · 5 years

Text

The Flashbacks that follow - FMA

Originally posted on FFnet on my “One Shots” story (under the name of ScarletRedfox)

The Flashbacks that Follow

Alphonse Elric sighed contently, slowly crawling into his bed, panting lightly from the activity.

He was still frail, far too thin for his age and height, but he was alive. And he had his body back. That was all that mattered. His brother got his arm back, Winry and him finally confessed their feelings to each-other, even if it did need a lot of persuading, not to mention Ed lamely confessed with using alchemy as metaphors.

Al shook his head, his big brother was like that, all about alchemy. It was like Winry with her automail, the “automail freak” as Ed loved to call her.

Al pulled the covers over his bony body and laid flat on his back, feeling air fill his lungs with each breath he took. It felt almost…weird.

He was alive. He was breathing. He could move, while it may be limited, he could move nonetheless.

When he, or more precisely his body, had been trapped inside of the Gate of Truth, he didn’t feel anything. No hunger, pain, sympathy, joy, anger, nothing. He had felt like he was in his armor again, while he was able to feel emotions, he wasn’t able to feel the warmth of another human’s hand. Or he wasn’t able to sleep as his armor body couldn’t exhaust itself, he hadn’t felt hunger, nothing…

The first long months after Father’s defeat, after the Promised Day, he had spent the whole day in the hospital, fed by tubes, he hadn’t been allowed to eat any solid food until after he had gained a few pounds.

He remembered how difficult it was for him to fall asleep, since he had been so accustomed to the suit of armor he had inhabited for the entirety of his and Ed’s journey, he sometimes didn’t sleep at all at night, only to sleep during the day because his weak body was too exhausted to stay awake.

But now it was different, he still couldn’t do hard physical labor but his condition had improved. While his bones were still far too visible, he had visibly gained some pounds, his hair looked far healthier, his skin looked healthier too and his eyes shone again with joy.

At times like these, where he couldn’t sleep, Al thought back on his journey with his brother, what they had to go through, what they have lost, the friends they have lost on their way of making the world a better place and regaining their bodies back…everything…

He sighed, staring at the ceiling.

Images popped into his mind, images of places, events, people.

All who they have lost, who died because of them.

An image of his mother appeared first and he smiled a bittersweet smile, he had visited her grave today along with Ed and Winry and Granny, her and their father’s grave. Al had noted how, whenever Hohenheim was mentioned by anyone, Ed would call him “father” or “dad”.

Not “him”, “that guy,”, “old bastard”, “old man”…etc. but “dad”.

They had all been sad when they saw Hohenheim had passed away, kneeling in front of Trisha’s grave, a smile on his face. Al remembered how hard his brother had cried that night, after they buried him and gave him a proper funeral, with just them paying their respects. Of course, Ed had stayed out long, aimlessly walking around the house, farther away through the vast landscape of Resembool, but when he had returned, his cries of agony and pain could still be heard even when he tried muffling them with a pillow.

Al also remembered how Winry had walked into his room and comforted him that night, telling him he wasn’t alone. Alphonse had wanted to be there for his brother too, but he also knew that Ed would berate himself if his little brother saw him as vulnerable as he had been then.

The image of his late mother was replaced by Hohenheim, while he didn’t know him for long, and his memories of him were foggy and not clear, he had still felt connected to him, as father and son. Al knew Hohenheim had truly wanted to sacrifice himself in order to save him and Ed, he may have not been the best father out there, but he tried, he had tried making everything good again and that was all it counted.

A image of Mei Chang popped into his mind and he blushed, rubbing his face. The Elrics had often travelled to Xing, visiting the new Emperor, Ling Yao, and Mei, as well as Lan Fan and getting to know the culture in general.

Ling had been pretty depressed over Greed’s death, he had often said that a big part of him, a part of his soul, was missing and that no matter what he did, he could, he knew he would never be able to replace it.

Al had felt similar too, at least while he had been trapped to the suit of armor, he had felt empty too, though he had his brother, Winry, Colonel Mustang, Hawkeye and many more friends who made sure he was treated warmly, even while being nothing but a walking mass of metal.

More images of passed comrades he had encountered on his journey flashed through his mind, then an image of Greed appeared, while he had been in control of Ling’s body, his second reincarnation.

Al hadn’t interacted that much with him, but he had developed something of a sixth sense when it came to recognizing bad people, and Al had known from the start Greed hadn’t been bad.

A Homunculus? Yes. The embodiment of Greed, one of the seven deadly sins themselves? Yes. But not bad.

It was like the deceased Homunculus had said, greed may not be good, but it wasn’t so bad either. And that’s what Greed had shown them all, Al included. At the beginning, with his first reincarnation, Greed was just that, greedy. Nothing else mattered to him than fame, power, fortune and ruling over the world.

But ever since taking over Ling’s body, he had developed greatly. They had discovered, from Ling no less, that all he had ever wanted, truly wanted, were friends, friends who stuck to each-other through thick and thin and who supported each-other, who he could trust and rely on.

Then images of Martel, Greed’s first friends he had unknowingly made, appeared in his mind.

His eyes widened, his whole body started to shake and he felt bile rise in his constricting throat.

He opened his mouth, gasping for air desperately, gripping the bed sheets beneath him in order to hold onto something.

Pain wracked his skull strongly and he clutched his head in order to find some solace, he didn’t.

The scene kept replaying over and over in his head.

What had happened that time…

When he had been kidnapped by Greed, when King Bradley, Wrath, had attacked them in the sewers, when Greed’s henchmen had come to rescue them…

Martel had been inside his armor, screaming and frantically trying to get out when she had been forced to watch her friends being brutally murdered, no, slaughtered before her very eyes.

Al could remember her screams of anguish and pain, her desperate attempts to claw her way out of his armor, he remembered how her fingers were bleeding from scratching at his rough, metallic armor, remembered her tears as they dripped onto the bottom of his armor…

He had felt the tremors overtaking her body, it had been anger at Wrath for killing her friends, soon anger turned to fear when the powerful Homunculus had approached them.

In a vain attempt to avenge her friends, Martel had taken control of Alphonse’s body and attempted to strangle Bradley to death, unfortunately it had little to no effect at all on him.

The next thing that happened…Al would never, could never forget.

Bradley had suddenly produced a long sword out of thin air, he brutally stuck in inside a gap of Al’s armor, right beneath the helmet…

In the next minute, large amounts of blood had seeped through every possible hole in his armor.

Martel was dead…

Wrath had killed her…brutally so…

This had never happened before, Al had never been so close to seeing someone die, or even come close to dying himself, his big brother had always tried to shield his innocent, too pure eyes from world’s cruelty, even his big brother had been overwhelmed by how cruel the world could really be at some points…

Alphonse would never forget that day, for as long as he lived.

This wasn’t the first night he remembered it, rather one of many.

It had been the first time somebody died, inside of his armor no less. The armor, he thought, was supposed to protect her while he escaped as far as he could from Wrath, but instead it had secured her demise. With nowhere to escape, Wrath had had the perfect opportunity to kill her by precisely stabbing his sword in a gap in his armor and pierce her whole body with it.

Al had felt guilty ever since.

After he had been cleaned out, alchemically by Edward, he, like every day since his soul was confined in a suit of armor, couldn’t sleep at all. His thoughts were coming back to that horrible event.

At times, especially now that he had his body back, he could still hear Martel’s screams of pain until she choked on her own blood.

The flashbacks that followed were the worst. Sometimes, he would clutch his head as if in pain, trying to block out all those screams of agony and fear, but he knew he couldn’t, he never could.

His sleep was always plagued by nightmares, most of the time, he would wake up drenched in a cold sweat, his brother and Winry at his side with wide, concerned eyes.

Ed knew what was happening with Alphonse, even if he never did directly admit it, he had them too.

The flashbacks.

It would be too cruel to say that Al was lucky for not experiencing the same things he did, seen the same things he did, did the same things Edward was forced to do…

He was suffering too, Ed, Winry and Pinako would hear his screams every night, but they all knew they could do nothing about it.

They could offer a shoulder to cry on and a ear willing to listen, but that was all. They couldn’t take away the memories, erase them from his mind, take away the pain that was inside his heart…

Nobody could.

The flashbacks would continue to come.

#alphonse elric #fma #fma fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fullmetal alchemist #alphonse with ptsd #alphonse has nightmares #al is in his human body #i sobbed while writing this

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winryofresembool · 6 years

Text

Edwin one-shot: “Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That’s still up for debate”

Summary: Winry wakes up in the middle of the night to find a very upset and slightly drunk Edward in his room. But how will this encounter change their relationship?

A/N: @odadesu do you still remember sending me this prompt? Because I finally wrote about it :’D This is a truly sappy (and a tiny bit angsty but mostly just sappy) modern!Edwin fic in which they are each other’s flatmates. That’s all you need to know, really.

Words: 1300+ (making up for the long wait)

Genre: fluff, bits of hurt/comfort

Winry Rockbell woke up at around 1 am to loud sounds coming from her flatmate’s room. For one moment she wondered if thunder had struck their home or something else as frightening, but once her brain had woken up enough to count 1+1=2, she concluded Ed must have caused the noise. She grabbed her wrench from the floor and decided she would make her dear flatmate pay for waking her up. She was particularly grumpy because she had been working on a school project with little to no sleep that week, meaning she really needed a good rest now.

“Edward Elric! What the hell are you doing?!” She waved her wrench threateningly at the door even though he couldn’t see it from his room.

No response.

“Ed?”

Still nothing.

“I’m coming in!”

She swung the door open rather fiercely, causing it to bang against the wall so loudly it would probably wake the rest of the building, and was greeted with a worrying sight: Ed was lying on the floor under a pile of books, not able to move.

Instantly, Winry started throwing the books off him and saw him opening his eyes, a pained expression on his face.

“What happened? Are you OK?” She asked with a worried tone, crouching next to him and let her fingers travel on his face, checking it for injuries.

“Yeah... I was trying to take a book from the top shelf… But that damn thing is still too high!”

Winry could guess the rest. He had lost his balance and somehow managed to take a good number of books with him.

“Why were you trying to read at this hour? Don’t you have classes tomorrow morning?” She asked, knowing better than to make any height related comments.

“Uh… couldn’t sleep,” Ed answered simply.

When Winry reached to help Ed up from the floor, she recognized the smell around him as the same as around Granny Pinako after particularly intense poker nights. “Wait a second… Have you been drinking?”

“What? No! Just a couple of small glasses!” he admitted when Winry narrowed her eyes, not believing him for one second. She could see a bottle on his desk, emptied enough to make Ed’s movements sloppier than usual.

“You were drinking alone in your room? On a school night? You don’t do that unless something wrong, I have known you long enough to know that.”

“It’s been a rough day.” Ed shrugged and wished Winry would change the subject, but she didn’t.

“But… Oh.” Winry stopped herself when she realized what day it exactly was. Third of October.

The day when Ed and his brother Al had become homeless.

They had lost their mother when Ed had been only 5 and Al 4, and their father had been taking care of them alone after that. But on October 3rd, 6 years later, a fire destroyed their house and their father was severely injured while trying to save his sons. He was taken to the hospital, but it was already too late; Van Hohenheim died of his injuries and the boys had no place to go. Winry’s grandmother, who lived near the Elrics, had taken the boys in, and Ed and Al grew up with Winry.

A couple of years later Ed had decided the regular school wasn’t for him, and he had become Izumi Curtis’ student, main focus in chemistry and martial arts. In order to do that, he had moved out of Resembool for a while, but after applying to a college, he returned to his hometown for the summer. It had been decided that he and Winry would get an apartment together if they both got into the college they wanted, which was why they were now living together in Central.

“Ed…” Winry tried to find something comforting to say. “I know nothing can give you back what’s lost but… I have a feeling that he’s watching us from some other dimension even now… probably laughing at our idiocy… and he’s very proud of how far you have come.”

“You think?” Ed asked, allowing himself to have a rare moment of fragility. Winry took the moment to intertwine their fingers (Ed looked up at her in surprise) and sighed.

“Yeah.” She nodded and took one step closer. From there, she could see a tiny bit of hope in his sad and unfocused eyes and decided to push it a little bit further:

“You’re the smartest guy I’ve ever met. Sure, so annoying, loud and hotheaded sometimes, and messy too…” She gestured towards the pile of clothes on Ed’s floor.

“Hey!”

“… BUT you genuinely care about the people around you, even though you rarely show it. And you try to act so strong even though I can see what happened still hurts you. Let it go, Ed. Please. If not for you, for me. I don’t want to find you trying to drown your feelings into alcohol anymore.”

To Winry’s surprise, Ed wrapped his arms around her and buried his head against her neck. They stayed like that for a good while, and even though Ed’s eyes were red from crying, some of the old fire had returned into them.

“Thanks, Winry.”

“You’re welcome.” She wanted to take his mind off of the past, so she suggested: “Hey, since we are both awake… How about another round of Mario Kart? I’m Yoshi this time!”

“Hey, Yoshi is mine!” Ed yelled and chased Winry to their livingroom where they often had their video game tournaments.

Winry beat Ed in the first round, but after that Ed found his momentum and beat her in the next two rounds.

“Now who’s the best?!” he exclaimed after Winry nearly threw her joystick through the TV screen.

“I would have won if you hadn’t left that banana there, ugh!” She put the joystick on the sofa and sat down, hiding her face behind a pillow in embarrassment and frustration.

“You could have dodged it!” Ed argued back.

“Oh ho ho. You are so annoying.”

“You love me either way,” Ed stated happily – possibly still slightly under the influence of alcohol, not thinking through the whole meaning of his statement.

“Hmmm,” Winry looked as if she was considering it, “Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That’s still up for debate.”

Suddenly her eyes widened at her own confession – she had never said that to him before even though she had known about her feelings for him for a good while – and she tried to take it back, but it was too late. Ed was laughing at her expression shamelessly.

“You should have seen your face!”

“Is that how you react when someone confesses their feelings for you?” she growled, hurt clear in in voice. Ed quickly realized the mistake he had made and calmed down, putting his hand on her shoulder as a sign of peace.

“Oh no no, Winry! I didn’t mean to… I was just surprised! So… you really mean it? In a non-platonic way?”

“Yeah,” she admitted after considering it for a moment.

Ed blushed and gave Winry a smile that made her stomach do flip flops and pulled her into another hug.

“We really are a bunch of idiots,” he said into her hair quietly.

“Hmm?” Winry asked, confused.

“All this time we have been in love with each other and neither of us has realized it.”

“Wait… are you saying…?”

“Yeah. Love you too.”

“This isn’t alcohol talking, right?”

“No.”

Winry had secretly wished she’d get to hear those words from Ed one day, but Ed had always been so oblivious that she had lost her hopes a long while ago. That’s why, now that it really happened, she had no idea what to do with it. Surprisingly, Ed was one step ahead of her. He pulled away from the hug and instead cupped her cheeks with his hands, looking for a permission to close the gap between them. Winry gave him a small nod and slowly, he inched closed until lips finally met. It was a bit awkward at first, as the couple tried to figure out how to tilt their heads so their noses wouldn’t bump, but eventually they made it work. Winry couldn’t help but smile a bit when she felt his lips moving against hers.

Did she love him? Yes.

Did she like him? Yes.

#edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #fullmetal alchemist #my fics

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