#amber-in-the-rough
Note
Hi!
First of all, thank you for everything you do for the fandom. I always love your screenshots + meaningful text combinations, they are so good! Thanks to you I have also added some new amazing songs to my playlists (Dark Horse and Anti-hero included).
I have a question and a song to share. First goes the question: do you happen to know any, just ANY tdp fanfiction which explores the what-if scenario where team Zym loses the Battle of the Storm Spire? If not, it would be great if you shared your own thoughts about it. Like, what if Viren & Aaravos succeeded in draining power from Zym? What would happen then? I tried to find something on Ao3 but all I got was a couple of works focused entirely on Viravos or something about reincarnation. Which is fine but not exactly what I am looking for.
I'd also like to share a song with you. It's Storm by Blackmore's Night. As the title suggests, it's about the storm and I've been fascinated with this song for a few years now. Maybe you'll like it too :)
Aww thank you so much, that is so sweet!! I can't think of any fics or headcanon posts I've seen like that along those regards, but I do have a tag for canon divergences in general and one for my specific explorations.
I think the biggest thing to consider would be if Zym was successfully killed or not.
1. Zym lives
This means the kids can potentially, if frantically, flee, with Janai and Amaya and any other surviving Sunfire elves being captured. Soren and co. could go looking for other archdragons (I'm sure Rayla would've heard of Rex Igneous) or Earthblood allies who would either worry about the encroaching invasion and/or recognize Zym as the future heir and advocate for his sovereignty. The biggest change here is that Lux Aurea is like, even more devastated, and I could see Janai being executed bc she's the next heir, but who knows
Kids come back six months later with an Earthblood army (also don't think the monster-humans would survive or thrive well long term, so that depletion could be over time) but it may not even matter, depending on what Aaravos' endgame (release?) was for harvesting Zym in the first place
2. Zym dies
This one is trickier, as it leaves us with a very heartbroken Ezran (the mind/soul link so recently formed and so brutally severed) and with no draconic heir. As long as Zym was alive, the kids would have hope, so with him gone I think they'd be very dejected (and of course, grieving their friend). I could see Ezran falling into a depression of sorts, just because he'd probably blame himself for his handling of the kingdom's troops, and he was the closest to Zym. Callum would delegate more time/thought to his brother as a result, leaving Soren and Rayla to maybe bond a bit more in terms of leading the group and figuring out what to do next, bound by the goal of keeping the remaining princes alive until they can figure out a plan. (Callum would also probably get his hands on a dark magic book, Just In Case, because I don't think he'd been willing to hold anything back now that he and particularly Ezran are Viren + Aaravos' #1 targets, in terms of eliminating any kind of uprising).
I could see Rayla bringing everyone back to the Silvergrove, as it is cloaked by illusions, and they can still interact with objects even if no one can see them, so it's kind of the perfect place to hide. Then maybe Callum and Rayla would go look for again, arch dragons or possible reinforcements, leaving Soren to look after Ezran when they'd do reconnaissance, since Rayla is their Xadian guide and Callum doesn't want her to go alone
This would probably be more of a slow build, and I could see them travelling to Duren as well (which, I suppose Aanya would be captured and executed for treason against the Pentarchy, just because Viren could - although I could see Claudia feeling bad/awkward about executing a girl who's not much younger than herself? Unexpected imprisoned Aanya and sympathetic conflicted Claudia bonding? Opeli gets executed, hopefully Corvus escapes). But yeah, two years before they can come back and take the throne, and I could see Callum and Rayla both becoming a bit more cut throat because they've had two years of like, protecting Ezran at the forefront, and surviving in the wild long term when you're hunted fugitives is just a different kind of experience. Ezran, because of their sheltering, remains just as kind, but he's much much Sadder in his day to day presentation, and that never entirely goes away
Depending on whether the Illusion stabbing happened - and let's just say that it didn't - I could see Claudia trying to reach out to and track down Soren, convinced she can get him to come home now that 'his side lost' and 'there's nothing left for him there anymore, can you get over your identity crisis and come home'. So I feel like Soren would actually probably be Angrier at Claudia in his scenario here than he is in canon, just because he sees more of the long lasting destruction and doesn't have victory to make him worried about his sister
Feel free to send in other asks and thoughts about this lil scenario (either one), it's definitely an interesting one to consider! Or any other canon divergences, really - I have a tiny list of ones I know I want to write drabbles for at the very least
#canon divergence#requests#AU#amber-in-the-rough#tdp#prompts#a thousand times which isn't half enough#s3#3x09#thanks for asking#the dragang#castle kids#plus rayla hi rayla#the dragon prince
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Tonight is a great night to think fondly on Haleth and Caranthir. I think they would make such a funny couple.
Imagine??? The Big Tall Broody Scowling Kinslayer Who Is Also The One Reason The Economy Is Functioning At All Between The Different Races/Elvish Factions Who Probably Is Dying To Tell King Thingol/His Cousins To Fuck Off At Any Given Moment and hes looming over this short human lady??
This short human lady that Can, Will, and Already Has told him to pull the stick out of his ass and bullies him into doing normal townsfolk chores??? Lord Carathir, Master Economist and a Weaver with the skill to rival his grandmother, sitting there and darning socks cause his tiny mortal wife told him too. His reward will be a kiss on the cheek but she'll scold him while he does it because he said a mean thing about his Cousin Finrod in his last letter to her while he KNEW Finrod was visiting her.
Only three things in the world keep Caranthir in check: His Eldest Brother, The Lord Himring, The Current Head of the Feanorian Faction of Noldor, and Former High King; the idea that if he didn't complete his brothers' tax paperwork and run the Trade Routes then the Nolofinweans and Arafinweans would become more economincally important And We Cant Have That; and his 4'11 wife he met bloodied and wrathful on a battlefield screaming at an orc over the corpse of her brother-- it was love at first sight
#caranthir#haleth#halenthir#silmarillion#amber rambles#I honestly just love them they would be such a power couple like i can see them at banquets looking untouchable#but theyre just bitching about the other guests over wine#In my mind they are the country/goth couple of the year#Cara is used to things like this cause he grew up with Feanor and Nerdanel and they don't believe in servants#and also spent a lot of time camping while he was growing up so Cara is used to roughing it he just Doesnt Like To#but here is his tiny mortal wife like Oh My Poor Spoiled Richling Of A Husband lets get u doing some Real Work#he doesn't correct her cause he thinks its funny when she does it in front of other Noldor#cause everyone knows the Feanorians are by all accounts the least spoiled and down to earth out of all the Finweans#Cause everyone knew what Crown Prince Feanor was like
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So long to this wretched form
#i dropped everything i was doing to crank this out as soon as possible#i might change my design for him later but i imagined james looking similar to pike mage (amber)#maybe ruby mages can only be redheads or something#but in all seriousness ruby mages seem to be centered around combat#and him having his limbs morphed in some way made me think he'd have big gauntlets#speaking of his limbs being morphed i don't really think they specify how exactly he was changed#but the first thing that came to mind was some kind of spaghettification#i originally wanted to do something more detailed and body horror-esque but that would've taken forever#also he's canonically a little freak but i'd like to imagine before his trial he just liked fighting and getting roughed up#and his final exam just made him 100% freakazoid#very silly#james cobb#inscryption#my art
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i hate you for what you did (and i miss you like a little kid)
It’s moments like these that Tara misses Sam the most. Everything would be better if Sam were around. She’d pay the bills, she’d make sure Tara was fed, she’d love him like their mother was never willing to. Sam wouldn’t have let Tara get hurt in the first place.
But Sam isn’t here.
(Nobody is going to help.)
or
5 times Tara misses Sam while in the hospital + 1 time she doesn't have to.
or
3,095 words of Tara having an awful awful awful life. And then getting a hug at the end.
Trigger warnings: suicide attempt, child abuse, abusive relationships, authority figures being awful at their jobs, brief mention of implied past sexual assault/harassment
—
Age 15
—
Just this once, Tara wishes Amber wasn't the way she is.
If Amber were any less overbearing protective, she wouldn't have climbed through Tara's bedroom window, angry about her texts going unanswered.
(Amber never did like being ignored.)
He knows she’s pissed at him, but what else could he do? How can he be expected to keep going on like this?
Sam is gone .
She left.
She packed up her belongings and left everything behind without so much as a goodbye.
It’s been three months now, and Tara feels disconnected from everything. None of this is real, she’s sure of it.
How could Sam just leave her behind?
She left.
And Tara is still here.
So, three days after her 15th birthday, she swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills, followed by one of her mom’s beers.
She didn’t anticipate Amber wanting to hang out.
They pumped her stomach. Her throat hurts from the tube and her stomach hurts from Amber making her throw up. It’s miserable.
He thinks he hates Amber right now. No, scratch that. He definitely hates Amber right now.
She wishes Amber hadn't found her.
She wishes Amber hadn't called 911.
She wishes Amber just left her to die on that bathroom floor.
She’s alone in the hospital room. She threw things and screamed at Amber until she left.
He wants to cry but he doesn’t have the energy. He wishes it worked.
Everything is awful. Amber probably hates her now. Her mom is never home. There’s barely any food left in the house.
Sam is gone.
There’s nothing to keep going for.
—
Age 16
—
Tara isn't quite sure what he did to make his mom's boyfriend so angry. She doesn't even know the guy's name, for god’s sake.
(It's not the first time something like this has happened. It won't be the last.)
They're in a different hospital than the one she normally goes to. It's a couple counties away, to avoid the staff asking questions. You can only have so many “accidents” before people start to get suspicious.
“Transverse radius and ulna fractures,” the way-too-cheery-for-this-time-of-night nurse had told him, “they’re commonly caused by falls like the one you had. You sure are lucky your mom found you when she got home!”
Right. Lucky.
The story they’re going with this time is that Tara slipped and fell down the stairs while home alone, only to be found by her mom when she got home from work. It’s not true, obviously. Tara’s not sure if her mom even has a job right now. She was there. She watched it happen.
(She sat and did nothing while Tara begged and pleaded for her mom to help, just this once please mom please–)
They’re keeping her for observation overnight, just in case. Her mom is long gone, having only stuck around long enough to drop her off.
It’s fine though. That’s just their routine. Tara gets hurt, Christina reluctantly drives her to the hospital, and they both pretend like nothing is wrong. Everyone is happy and everything is fine .
(Tara wishes the hospital staff would ask more questions. He’s so tired of all of this.)
Looking at the cast on his arm, he starts to panic. How is he supposed to pay for all of this? Tara has a shitty minimum wage job and a couple hundred bucks in her get-out-of-Woodsboro fund. That’s not nearly enough to pay for all of this. She did the math, a broken arm costs upwards of $2,500. Christina’s last job provided insurance, but she just had to go and get herself fired.
The buzz and chime of her phone snaps her out of her spiral. When she checks it, she sees a text from her shift manager:
James called out for tomorrow. We need you to cover his shift in addition to yours. You’d get paid overtime.
His heart sinks at the thought of a double shift, really of working at all , tomorrow, but what other choice does he have? Who else is going to pay for this?
(Some small part inside of her rages and weeps at the unfairness of it all. The Amber-Christina part tells her she deserves it.)
It’s moments like these that Tara misses Sam the most. Everything would be better if Sam were around. She’d pay the bills, she’d make sure Tara was fed, she’d love him like their mother was never willing to. Sam wouldn’t have let Tara get hurt in the first place.
But Sam isn’t here.
(Nobody is going to help.)
It’s hard to type with one hand, but Tara manages.
I’ll be there.
—
Age 17
—
There are rules.
In the Carpenter household, that is. There are rules to follow if you want to stay uninjured and safe. They go unspoken, but Tara has them all memorized.
Don’t talk about dad.
Definitely don’t talk about Sam.
Don’t complain.
Tara is exceptional at following them. She keeps her head down and her mouth shut at home, never so much as rolling her eyes or looking sad. It doesn’t really make a difference either way, Christina always finds some excuse to get upset, but still. It’s the principle of it all, he supposes.
(Some small part of her hopes that if she just keeps following the rules, it’ll all turn out okay. Maybe her mom will finally love her. Maybe Sam will finally come back.)
Of course, she had to go and fuck up the most important rule: stay away from mom when she’s drunk.
He was just trying to tell her that his teachers and principal had requested to meet with her. He didn’t see the bottle until it was too late.
So. Here Tara is. Waiting to get her left eyebrow stitched up at urgent care.
A wine glass to the face will do that to you.
They didn’t even ask any questions this time. Just handed her the intake paperwork, directed her to a room, and told her when the doctor would be in.
Not for the first time, Tara questions the professionalism of the officials in this town. Is nobody even a little bit suspicious? Surely it’s weird for one person to get in this many “accidents.”
(Do they all know? Do they just not care?)
The room is cold. They always are. It makes the warmth of the blood almost painful in comparison. The entire left side of her face is throbbing, even with the icepack and painkillers. She can already feel a black eye forming.
Tara wishes Sam were here.
Tara always wishes Sam were here.
Sam would’ve reminded her to keep away from mom. She was the one to come up with the rule in the first place.
But Sam isn’t here.
She’ll never be here again.
Sometimes he gets so angry at her he can’t breathe. For leaving. For being absent long before she was gone. For a lot of things.
It’s not fair, Tara thinks, in his darkest moments where he’s just so resentful that it scares him, that Sam is the one who made it out. Why did she get to be the one to leave?
Sam was a burnout drug addict who just barely graduated high school and would probably never amount to anything.
Tara is good. She makes decent grades and she plays piano and she babysits on the weekends. She never complains. She doesn’t talk back. She’s good and quiet and does what she’s supposed to.
And yet he’s the one who’s still trapped in this town.
He was born here and he’s going to die here. By his own hand or his mother’s or some creep in a costume.
That’s how it was always going to be.
—
Age 18
—
“It was an accident while we were cooking! She tripped while I was holding a kitchen knife. Tara, I'm so sorry! You know I'd never hurt you on purpose.” Amber directs the last part to Tara, instead of the doctor stitching up the gash on his left arm.
Tara says nothing in return. Just nods.
She doesn't want to make things worse for herself than they already are. Even now, hours later, he can still see the quiet rage behind Amber's eyes. If he just keeps quiet, then Amber won’t get more upset with him than she already is.
It’s Tara’s fault. Really, it is. Amber is still around. She puts up with Tara when no one else will. He should be more grateful. Instead, he just focuses on the past, on people who did nothing but hurt him.
Amber found the box of Sam’s belongings Tara kept under his bed.
(He knows that she would’ve had to have been going through his room to find it. He shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her anyways.)
She’s not supposed to think about Sam. Sam left her behind, so she’s supposed to forget about her. Sam didn’t love him like Amber does. Nobody loves him like Amber does. It’s why they all leave. She makes them leave. She’s just too hard to love.
That’s what Amber says anyways.
“All done! You should be more careful next time.” The doctor says as she packs up her supplies. “You’re good to go ahead and go home now.”
Tara stays silent as she and Amber make their way out of the hospital, only half paying attention to her friend’s nonstop slew of thank-you-so-much’s and I’m-so-sorry-I-didn’t-mean-to-hurt-you’s.
All pretenses are dropped when they get to the car. The apologetic look on Amber’s face disappears, with no sign that it had been there in the first place. All that remains in anger and indifference. Tara’s heart sinks at the sight of it.
He climbs into the passenger seat, flinching at the slam of the driver’s side door. When she risks a glance to the left, she blanches. Amber is staring straight ahead, jaw clenched and knuckles white on the steering wheel. In other words, she’s furious.
“I’m sorry.” Tara breaks the silence. “I know I shouldn’t have– I’m– I’m really sorry.”
Amber doesn’t respond, doesn’t even react. Just turns the key and pulls out of the parking lot. Five minutes into their drive, Tara tries again.
“Amber, I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve listened to you. I just–”
He cuts himself off, wincing. Amber’s eyes flash with something he can’t name.
“Just what? Are you seriously gonna try and make an excuse right now?” Amber seethes, grip tightening on the wheel.
Tara doesn’t reply, frozen in place like a rabbit spotted by a wolf. Her heart is thundering in her throat. He wonders if Amber can hear it.
“No, seriously. What were you going to say?” Amber continues her rant, steadily increasing in volume. “That you miss her? After everything I do for you? Am I not good enough for you Tara? You think I’m just sooo awful that you’d rather have some heartless bitch who abandoned you instead of me? Maybe I should just leave you too! God knows you make it hard enough to stay!”
She’s yelling at this point, voice filling up the car. Nothing she’s saying is new. None of this is. Tara tries to hold back her tears, afraid of giving Amber more ammunition. It doesn’t work.
“...I’m sorry.” Tara sobs. At the sight of his tears, Amber softens and pulls over. She parks and turns off the car as Tara quietly weeps.
“You know I just want what’s best for you, right? I know it hurts, but you need to hear this Tara. You deserve it.” Amber sighs, wiping away his tears.
(She’s holding his arm right where the stitches are. As she speaks, her grip tightens.)
“...I know.”
—
Age 19
—
Tara can’t feel anything below her neck.
Actually, that’s not quite true. He can still feel the burning agony in his- well, everywhere .
But that’s mostly mental, she knows. She’s so pumped full of opioids she’s surprised she can move.
(Had he been more lucid, Tara would be freaking the fuck out over being given painkillers, especially ones as addictive as opioids. She doesn’t want to turn into Sam her mom.)
Her friends (minus Wes, who’s off doing- something or other. Tara isn’t quite sure) are crowded around her. None of them seem to know what to do with themselves, all of them fretting over everything she does- and doesn't- do. Her drug-addled brain draws the comparison of a flock of neurotic chickens, making her giggle.
An action that is immediately regretted, of course. Laughing is excruciating when you’ve been stabbed in the torso.
Amber snaps to attention from her place at his side when he cries out, worry evident on her face. She grabs onto Tara’s bruised upper arm, making him wince.
“Are you okay? You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” Amber questions. It’s nice, her concern. She’s not normally this nice about Tara’s pain. He hums in response, leaning his head forward to rest it on Amber’s shoulder as her arms wrap around his shoulders.
(Briefly, Tara entertains the notion that Amber could’ve been the one to do this, but the thought is quickly dismissed. Amber- she wouldn’t- she only hurts Tara when he deserves it. And he doesn’t think he’s done anything to deserve this.)
There’s a quiet knock on the door before Wes lets himself in, phone in hand. Tara can’t think of anything that sounds less appealing than talking (well. Last night was pretty rough), but the look on Wes’s face worries her.
“...w-what’s wrong?” Her voice is quiet and hoarse, vocal cords strained from screaming. Wes looks conflicted, thinking over his words. After a second, he moves to sit next to the bed.
“I don’t know how to– I just–” He sighs, running a hand down his face. “I called Sam. I didn’t think she would answer but she did. She’s on her way. She’ll be here in an hour.”
Tara doesn’t register Amber tensing beside her, doesn’t feel her get up, doesn’t hear the ensuing argument.
Sam is– Sam is coming here?
That– that can’t be right.
Sam wouldn’t just– she wouldn’t– she–
Tara doesn’t know what Sam would do.
Not anymore.
He’s stuck in place, paralyzed by the thoughts spiraling in his brain.
What if Sam never shows up?
What if she does?
What if Sam is the same Sam from five years ago? The Sam who yelled and slammed doors and couldn’t bear to look Tara in the eye?
(Tara doesn’t think he’d be able to handle that. He’d take that damned knife and finish the job himself.)
What if– what if Sam is better? What if she’s happy? What if she’s finally clean? What if the only thing preventing from reaching that point was Tara ?
What if Sam coming back to Woodsboro (coming back to Tara) undoes all of that?
Tara doubles over and throws up.
—
Age 20
—
Tara stares at the ceiling.
It’s a nice ceiling, he thinks, for a hospital at least. Sam laughs when he tells her as much. Rude.
“Fffine.” (God she loves opioids. Why was she so against using them again?) “See ‘f I ever– ever tell you how I feel ‘bout hospital ceilings again.”
Sam laughs. Again. Tara glowers. She could at least try to hold it in.
“How often are you seeing hospital ceilings?” Sam asks, still chuckling.
“Super often. I was in th’ hospital all the time when you were gone.”
Sam’s laughter cuts off. Tara looks over to see her sister sitting up in her chair.
“What do you mean?” There’s a weird look on Sam’s face, one Tara can’t figure out in the state he’s in.
“Got hurt. A lot.” Sam tenses up as Tara speaks.
The fog in his head clears a bit.
Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that.
“How did you– what were some of the injuries?” Sam asks, keeping her tone light.
They’re getting into uncharted territory now. They don’t talk about the years Sam was gone, preferring to dance around the topic.
Tara looks away. “I don’t– it was just minor things. Just– falls and whatnot. Nothing– nothing bad.” Her voice wavers on the last word. Fuck.
Sam is silent for a minute, before– “Tara.”
She can feel the burning pressure building behind her eyes. She desperately tries to keep the tears at bay, but it’s all for naught. Turning away from Sam, he tries again. “It– nothing happened, Sam. I’m fine. Every– everything is fine.” She scrubs at the tears on her face, willing her eyes to dry. It doesn’t work. “Fuck.”
Sam reaches out and lays a hand on Tara’s arm, urging her to turn around.
(Tara has to fight the instinct to pull away. She doesn't like people touching her, not anymore. It reminds her of Frankie's hands and Ethan's words and Amber taking and taking 'til there was nothing left.)
“Tara. Please look at me.” Sam’s voice is soft and gentle. It just makes Tara cry harder. His throat hurts from holding in his sobs.
Tara wishes none of this was happening. She wishes Ghostface was just a villain in a movie and her best friend was still alive and her mom didn’t hate her and her dad was still around and Sam never left and she bled out on the kitchen floor and and and.
Tara turns around.
Sam’s face falls.
“Oh, baby boy.” She breathes, voice full of regret and sorrow and love and a million other things Tara doesn’t deserve.
“...It’s not fair.” Tara cries. “Why– why did– I don’t– why did they hurt me? I loved them and– and they hurt me.”
He doesn’t resist when Sam pulls him into her arms, hand cradling the back of his head. His stitches are pulling and his left arm is in agony but he doesn’t care. Sam’s embrace is warm. He hasn’t been warm since she left.
Tara wails. She’s been holding it in for a long time. Her whole life, she thinks. Sam just hugs him closer to her body.
“Please don’t leave me Sammy pleasepleaseplease don’t leave again please.” He’s barely intelligible at this point, reduced to begging through his sobs.
“I’m not going to leave, I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying.” Sam whispers into his hair. He’s just barely able to hear her over his weeping. She says it again and again, repeating it the entire time he cries.
Her face is covered in tears and snot and her arm is excruciating and she thinks she popped a stitch but none of it matters.
Sam is here.
—
#EEEEUUAAAAGHHG#somebody take the all lowercase song lyrics in parentheses titles away from me#this one is. rough.#in all senses of the word#Tara tag#horror tag#writing tag#tara carpenter#amber freeman#sam carpenter#scream 5#scream 6
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Rough black amber at sylverra
Link above | $5 flat shipping all US orders | Free US shipping over $50
#black amber#amber#zebra amber#rough amber#amber crystal#crystals#black crystals#resins#incense#witchcraft#crystal shop#crystals for sale#rough crystals
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there is. nothing better in the world than being cozy in bed while a storm rages outside
#rain on the window!!!! the wind in the trees!! amber streetlights#in the house i grew up in my dad put a radio antenna on the roof above my bedroom#it would vibrate in high winds and make a rough buzzy sound#sounds like it should be creepy but it was the most comforting thing#storms just make me so happy
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I always forget how people back in the olde days used to just die so easily from the flu, until I get the flu myself dhhdhdhf because on one hand I know our medicine is just soo much better now a days but on the other hand I have the immune system of a dead man and once I get sick I'm like the ye olde victorian child on a death bed dhdhdhhd it's been 4 days and I just NOW can get on my phone to watch videos and text, and eat and drink water, and coherently string words together and do more than just lay in bed and moan in pain, and sweat and cough in sick delirium 😭
#im being so deadass#i only slept once between just staring at whatever i was hallucinating on the ceiling and that was last night#and i dreamt that i was eating glass#i know its because ive hurt my stomach and ribs from so much coughing because i can barely talk#at least in my dream i was picky about the glass i was eating LMAOOO i was like NO I WANT THE BUBBLE AMBER DRINKING GLASS NOM NOM#and raided a flea market just to find it and eat it#i dont fucking know#i finally ate some chicken noodle soup and apple sauce too and ive finally had some wonderful and amazing water#i swear i never enjoyed it more in my LIFE#i hate being sick because i get so sick so easily and soo soo so bad#fucking rough man#i had no idea it was Saturday until i just checked#fucking was Tuesday last I remembered god damnit#also its really scary looking in the mirror because I dont look well or look like myself right now#body image warning#but my face looks so hallow and dark and scratched up because apparently I either was scratching in my sleep or something happened#and I'm soo much thinner than the last time I looked in a mirror and got out of bed like 4 days ago#my beard is big and shaggy and i need to shave but i really really don't look good and its hard to do any self care#when you go from looking healthy and glowy to pale and dark and thin in just a couple days#like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that#im caught in a state of#this isn't reality#which i know isnt safe or good but ill be okay because i know im just in shock and that i cant push myself through it#especially in this weakened state#i just need to take it slow and steady#drink my water stay in my blanket and eat what i can and take my meds and thank FUCK I came through the fog and rest
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i think i need a girlfriend or i’ll probably die or something (if u got a crush on me now is the time to shoot ur shot)
#being on a dating app in this area (conservative) is ROUGH#and i’m getting more and more sure that i am not attractive to sapphics#i don’t even have a tumblr crush 😭#anyway. alexa play the prophecy#amber talks
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Even tho I'm already approaching the middle of s5 I can't stop thinking about how much s4 makes me want to lay face down in a puddle and drown every time I watch like.
Earlier in the season, House tells Wilson that he'll never sacrifice himself for others, no matter what. And then. AND THEN. He risks his own life to potentially save Amber just bc Wilson asked. Mere episodes after saying he would never sacrifice himself for anyone.
And it doesn't even matter bc there's no saving her
4x16 probably one of the most memorable finales of a show I watched live. like I still remember watching it in dawning horror as it played out. And I think was one of the better finales written in the lead up to the writers strike? bc some shows felt/feel like they slapped something together bc they ran out of time or it was just a total mad libs nonsense ending.
#i fucking miss amber so much i loved her 😭😭😭#even if you don't ship hilson that shit is ROUGH okay?#hate crimes md#house md
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This week is gonna be academic overhaul for me
But that does not mean I have to be happy about it
Especially right now
Because this stupid project
Isn't fucking done yet
I wanna sleep
#but i CANT cause my grade :(#i also have to write a 500+ word self-assessment and like. We give ourselves grades#and im looking at my bs. and like. honestly? Id give myself a C based on my own expectations for myself#a B for effort if i was being generous#but like. also based on the rough criteria given just... Idk. I dont see it as anything really beyond decent#and i hate that#and just#Ughdhdfgd#amber's shit you can ignore
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We were promised a Deep Magic spell and a lecture from Aaravos this season. And while we probably got the former (Infantis Sanguine, I can't think of anything else. Or was it Kim'dael's magic?...) it seems like the latter has to wait until s6. I don't think those three sentences about life and death magic count🤔
I mean, Aaravos (who is already ancient) references it as deep magic, it's a blood spell like we've seen him and Viren use before (bug pal spell, the unicorn horn spell) so yeah, I think that's what they meant. We saw what a deep magic spell would look like, ingredients wise, and we had Aaravos talk about it. It wasn't in depth, but given that it's the Introduction of the Concept to the casual audience (remember, until S4, casual viewers wouldn't even know Aaravos is a Startouch elf) I think it makes sense. TDP almost always tends to do a surface introduction/glossover before they do a deep dive for the broader audience
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Modern Slim AU where Maglor, for the clout, creates a dedicated side tiktok account where its just cameos/thirst trap videos of his Stupidly Hot Older Brother Maedhros just doing like... normal things but maybe he has his sleeves rolled up (to show off his arms) so they dont get dirty while cooking Ambarussa dinner, or helping Nerdanel lift some marble/stones/busts in her workshop, and the one with the most views and comments is the one where his long red hair is up in a messy bun and hes got an apron on overtop of a soft looking sweater and little baby Tyelpë on his hip and he's talking into his cell phone about some political thing for their grandfather. The audio is (obvi) covered over with the song "Guy.exe" meme
It's stupidly popular, everyone loves this stupidly soft beautiful man. Fingon has followed the account since Maglor first started (as did most of the siblings and cousins) and shows up sometimes in vids. One of the most liked ones is where Fingon looks to Maglor and the camera, goes "No matter what, if I throw myself at Maedhros he will catch me in his arms" and then takes a running leap at Mae (who is talking to their grandfather in some important looking political office, he's wearing a suit) who panics, turns to basically body block their grandfather and catch Fingon. The caption is "and then Maedhros yelled at us for 2 hours straight"
For their 2 mill followers Maglor gleefully takes requests in the comments. Maedhros, who was aware of the account but thought it was so stupid that he never really interacted with it, was bribed and blackmailed into actually interacting with their viewers one (1) time.
The video, which has the most views and went viral, to Maedhros' mortification, is a video of Maedhros himself in a maid costume with little ginger cat ears holding notecards. Behind him, armed with pillows and ready to strike if given any hesitation, are Celegorm (a full grown man) and the two gleeful (teenage) Ambarussa twins. He reads from the notecards a set of phrases paid for by the highest donations. Its a few shout outs, some memes, and the video ends after he pauses, frowns, looks at Maglor behind the camera and goes "What is an OnlyFans and why would someone pay just to ask me to make an accou--" and he is cut off by Celegorm and Ambarussa beating the hell out of him with their pillows. Maedhros annoyed yell is cut off my Maglor scream-laughing behind the camera and the video being cut just as Maedhros twirls around, ripping Celegorm's pillow out of his hands and goes to retaliate, skirts twirling a little too high but nothing is seen.
#amber rambles#maedhros#maitimo#maglor#kanafinwe#fingon#silmarillion#silm#lotr#I picture Mae to be around 29 Maglor is about 27 Celegorm is 26#Caranthir is 25 and Curufin is 24 and Ambarussa are 15#little baby celebrimbor is a fresh baby like maybe 3 months old at the most#Ambarussa are the Surprise Babies and Mae basically helped raise them since the pregnacy took a lot out of their mom and she was bedridden#I imagine the doctors told her that after she had the 3C so fast that her body couldnt heal properly and Curus birth was really rough#so it was reccomended that she didnt have anymore kids but well things happened and Mae was there to help as Feanor took care of his wife#Finwe is like an important political figure like a premier of a province or something and Mae is like helps him out with some stuff#more like an advisor/laywer but hes more on the bottom rung as he just finished law school a couple years ago#and is working his way up as hard as he can. he ends up leaving government to work for an NGO in his 30s#Finwe is very popular with the general public. I imagine hes like a Bernie Sanders type of deal everyone loves their grandpa#Feanor is a professor and Nerdanel is an artist and Maglor is a gifted composer who has songs in some popular movies#Celegorm went to school for forestry conservation but mostly spends his time going off the grid to go hunt and live up north#Hes big on Indigenous rights traditional methods of conservation and while he means good a lot of Indig ppl are off put by him#Curufin just finished his engineering degree and was going to trade school but is taking time off to raise bby celebrimbor#who was a one night stand during uni and while the mother wasnt ready Curufin is willing to be a single dad#All his brothers and cousins are more than willing to help him raise bby celebrimbor as well
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| Draft for something I want to write on Wattpad, lemme know what you think! |
The following will include angst.
The two women had a firm clasp on each other, spinning each other around effortlessly as if there was no one else in the world, just the two of them, eyes interlocked.
' You've gotten better Amber. ' the Lawrence girl said with a smirk, her companion's eyes lit up, a wide grin forming on her face.
These moments were so worth the trouble the two girls had to go through in order to be able to see each other, a love like their's was deemed unacceptable by society. Amber wanted so badly to tell people to mind their business, but she couldn't, it would cause problems for Eula.
So, the two enjoyed the moment, eyes interlocked, looking at each other in a way only lover's would. Too deep into the moment the two shared a quick, yet loving, kiss.
' Eula what are you doing!' The two women froze, Eula's arms slid off of Amber's shoulders as she was met by the cruel, hateful, gaze of her father.
' We're simply dancing father.' Her voice had an obvious tone of fear in it, but she kept her demeanor as calm as possible. The cruel man stepped forward and slapped the young woman across her face, which was sure to leave a mark.
It stung, but not as badly as her heart not realizing the most likely outcome for this. She would never be able to see Amber again.
#eula lawrence#eulamber#eula genshin impact#amber genshin impact#wlw#light angst#genshin impact#rough draft#theyre in love your honor#aristocracy#eula x amber#amber x eula#fanfic#theyre gay your honor
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🔛 ~ Amber, Josie, Nattie (hehehehehe)
make love to - Amber
have a quickie with - Josie
be rough / kinky with - Nattie
#answered. / noah kaspbrak#noah would like to die#but at least amber is on top#he literally cannot comprehend being rough with josie at the moment
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continued from
🎵 + 6 amber and feng xin @tragcdysewn
after like -IVE
"It's nice to finally meet you." amber continued, "-so you're tara's brother, I trust she's told you a lot about me.. -I mean now that her memory is back. -or maybe I should be thanking you, someone had to be looking out for her. "
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“Sorry….” Deuce trailed thoughtfully after Cleo finished the explanation of her pristine plans. The one that will hopefully help Claw burst ahead of Stripes.
But he was half-paying attention and caught only bits and pieces. He wanted to help, but it was hard to not pay attention to the fact that Cleo has changed a lot lately. For the better.
He doesn’t think Princess De Nile would’ve lifted a pretty finger for others last year. Now it feels like she is carrying the world on her shoulders for the good of others.
“I got caught up with the fact that You’ve been working so hard lately. Have you even had a break today?”
SORRY? confusion knitted her brows, snapping attention upward from where she had her eyes glazed over her phone screen. recipes, invites, banners... all the stuff that draculaura's swift work of magic hadn't covered. granted, now that particular tactic was temporarily banned, so if they were going to do this the much-less-forbidden way, the vampire sorceress couldn't assist with her spells. this was a fact more than fine with cleo, for the dark haired princess had the PERFECT ideas crafted… she knew a lot about getting people to follow her, after all. free things were definitely the way... especially if one of such things included food.
regardless of such knowledge within her mind, that didn’t mean she immediately understood why deuce was apologizing. was he about to say he wasn't going to help? why in the world would he refuse taking the opportunity to promote claw and defeat toralei? there was no way, and she fluttered her eyes a bit, wondering just how tired her brain was from focusing so hard that entire morning. she l i v e d ( unlived? ) for this sort of stuff... that didn’t mean the weight of it hadn’t started to wear her thin.
she couldn’t reveal as much; being tired was the sort of thing her father would scold her over and nefera would laugh. de niles didn't stop... not with victory on the line.
( though they would also glare upon the fact that the victory would technically belong to clawdeen. )
royal’s tongue clicked, lowering her device as snake haired lad started to explain the reasoning for sudden apology. it was simultaneously surprising to hear while also not at all. despite the ways of trouble he had once indulged upon, cleo fondly could recall the tender compassion deuce had always carried for others. it had always added such delight to his bad-boy facade... though golden flecked grace had to shove such l i n g e r i n g aches from her thoughts. smile curved elegant expression, but left it laced with deviousness. as well as a mild, false tease of offense.
"deuce, i always work hard. clawdeen may be in the running for prefect, but i still run this school. that doesn't happen without handling things myself." it wasn't an entire joke, but she found that her usual strain of demanding popularity didn't feel quite so wound together. her family ALREADY knew she wasn't in the running, that argument had long passed. no sense in whining over the school's picks.
besides, were she honest, even she knew their werewolf companion was the better pick to run against tor. an excellent balance of sweet to the werecat's spicy. the sort of thing cleo wasn't known for... a fact her heart noted and hung a bit heavy with.
long breath was taken, feeling the warm air of late summer settling into her lungs. it was nice... the cold left lingering feelings on lonesome and anxiety dwelling in her being. tainting a soul she wasn't sure she had. could a body without a heart have such a thing? did monsters enjoy such pleasures? or would osiris have little concern for hers considering who her father was?
...questions she had no readiness for answers.
"i don't NEED a break, what i need is a way to make dozens upon dozens of cookies! with clawdeen's face!" pause, depths growing soft yet sparking with sudden glow. "does heath have that cake printer still...?"
@storybounded
#storybounded#&&. cleo verse ( mh2 )#....me ignoring all the things i owed on here for ages#and my others blogs to do this ask?#......yes.#also reminded i need to put some rough verses together whoops#but anyways amber apparently you unleashed a need to write#at least for one ask asjlkf;jdafsa
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