Tumgik
#am i back to my bullshit? more than you think.
athynathens · 1 day
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getting you back
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“Baby, standing sex is my favorite because there’s nothing to break, except you.”
REQUESTED BY. levicoups. We consulted through messenger, and she requested various things such as character dynamics, genre, kinks, and others. She specifically asked the character to be named “Y/N” as it enhances her imagination, but she mentioned that I can refer to Y/N as “you.”
PAIRING. Ushijima Wakatoshi x Y/N
ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This oneshot will take place before Nationals even started.
SYNOPSIS. Y/N and Wakatoshi broke up after months of dating each other. The break-up almost felt like the end of the world for you. But he suddenly startedfollowing you like a hawk, and it made you uncomfortable. You tried ignoring it, but one action of his caused you to have a talking session with him. However, things take a turn when he confesses something to you. The talking session turned into a makeup fuck session. Well, ain’t that romantic?
WARNINGS. long oneshot, minors dni, porn with a plot, 18+ scenes, mature scenes ahead such as rough sex, size kink, choking, praising, breeding, manhandling, standing sex, squirting
AUTHOR’S NOTES. yes, i did say that i wont be taking in any requests, but ig im willing to give it a shot? but before you all ask for requests, you all need to expect that I am a slow writer literally, it took me a full month to do this one-shot. so don't expect me to do ur one-shots immediately but if im in a good mood, maybe less than 2 weeks will be sufficient. okay anyway, enjoy da storyyyy!!
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UNCOMFORTABLE is an understatement with what you’re feeling these days. Your blanket wrapped around your body, giving the illusion of safety. A notification popped in your phone, revealing it’s Tendou. You sighed in relief, overjoyed that it’s not your ex, Ushijima Wakatoshi. 
Your ex has been making you uncomfortable with his gaze. It may seem overreacting since it’s just a gaze, but that wasn’t the case.
His gaze that’s been following you is the gaze; an eye of a hungry and pent-up predator. 
Although it made you uncomfortable, you can’t help but feel annoyed with this. It took a damn break up for him to feel like this? That’s just complete bullshit. 
It’s been months since the break up, and it killed you mentally and physically. The toll of the break up hindered your position as Student Council President. You knew that you needed to snap out of it so you’ve been keeping yourself busy with tasks, but that distraction was just a temporary help. 
You had no one to talk to about this since it was Ushijima’s request for the relationship to be a secret, which bothered you a bit. Although you did want to be that understanding girlfriend, you also had your needs in the relationship. You wanted nothing more than for him to treat you lovingly, but it was not meant to be. 
He was too focused on training, hardly having any time for you. He failed to show any effort for you — the man often forgets your date nights, he was also not that attentive with the littlest things about you, he does not even hug, hold or kiss you that often. His entire life is about volleyball; it’s always volleyball this, volleyball that or Oikawa that or Oikawa this. 
You used to think that he was gay for Oikawa. He did have this undying obsession with him after all. That’s why you were so surprised when he agreed to go out with you.
But what surprised you more is the message Tendo sent you. 
HEYYY Y/N!! You know!! This big hunk of a beast sponsored the festival for our school!! Isn’t that sweet of him? Ne! Ne! Ne! Y/N-channn!! 
What the actual fuck. You gripped your phone as tight as possible. There’s no way in hell that he sponsored it. Sure, the Student Council needed sponsors for the festival to happen, but you never expected that the Ushjima, who only has eyes for volleyball, to do such a thing. 
You were grateful that someone sponsored, but what annoyed you was who was behind it and the reason why he decided to sponsor. 
Your jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. The flame in your eyes ignited even more, just by thinking about it. You began to type down aggressively to Tendo.
Where the fuck are you? 
In Wakatoshi’s penthouse!! The one in XXX-XXX!! Why you asking Y/N-channn?? 
That information was enough for you to grab your things and run to his penthouse. You knew where it was since that’s where you stayed while doing homework with him.
How foolish. A mocking chuckle left your mouth, remembering how happy you were as you considered the study and homework sessions as a study date. 
Meanwhile with Ushijima, there was a party among the volleyball players — both the male and female volleyball players were present. The stoic player is currently sitting down on his couch while the entire group is playing spin the bottle. 
He took a sip of his wine, uninterested with this so-called game with the bottle. The latter his head back, thinking about you. 
He cursed the amount of times he has been a bad boyfriend to you. Ushijima would always justify that this was his first relationship. But in the end, he knew that reason was not enough to heal the pain he inflicted on you. 
At first, the latter could not believe the fact that you liked him. I mean, why would anyone like him? He’s a guy full of rumors circulating around him. Ushijima has heard rumors that stated that he’s a stoic beast that only has eyes for volleyball, thus the nickname, Volleyball Beast, happened. He even heard rumors about his whole character — him being naive, innocent-minded and others. 
Let me tell you when I say that the beast in his nickname does not only apply to volleyball. 
The man knows tons of shits in sex and porn. He is a man with needs after all. Ushijima isn’t just someone who would talk about it in the open, thus, a lot assumed that he is what the rumors stated. 
When you guys dated, he admitted that he dated you out of curiosity. Since he also expected that they’ll break up soon, he asked for their relationship to be a secret.
But as the months have passed, he began to start liking you. All the efforts you show to him has made his heart feel things. Every small act you’ve done made him rethink his thoughts about you. Little did he know, he began smiling at you whenever you’re not looking. That’s when he knew that he reciprocated your feelings, but he doesn’t know how to express it properly.
To help him think, he practiced volleyball day and night, trying to think of ways how to articulate his emotions. He practiced so much, he didn’t even know he was neglecting you. And because of that, he paid the price — a breakup.
He wanted to fucking cry for the first time, knowing that he can’t be by your side like he would all the time. 
Fuck. Just by remembering that, his heart sank. So he chugged down his wine, and that’s when he heard a knock on his door. Seeing that his so-called visitors wouldn’t check who it was, he stood up and opened the door. 
The twinkle on his eyes glistened, moving counterclockwise as soon as he saw the person on the door. 
“Y/N…” He said your name in a loving tone. 
The goosebumps traveled all the way to your heart, not expecting him to say your name with such a tone. “Ushijima,” You arched your brow, crossing your arms to show your non-existent dominance. 
“W-What are you doing here?” He asked, jaw clenches when he saw what you were wearing — a simple shirt with shorts that show off your legs. 
You pushed him out of the way and entered the room. “Why the fuck did you do it?” A scream is all that’s left in your mouth. 
His eyes went wide, “Okay. Calm down and let me explain…” 
“Calm down? I’m not going to calm down! Why the fuck would you suddenly be so interested in some kind of—” You stopped shouting when you saw a whole crowd by the living room. 
Tendo had his cheek under the palm of his hands. He grinned by the sofa and waved, “Hey, Y/N-chan!!!” 
Your cheeks flared red, realizing that you and Ushijima were not alone. “S-Seems like you have company…I can come back another time…” You quickly said, attempting to hold the doorknob to leave, but a hand by your wrists stopped you. 
You looked back to see Ushijima, holding you desperately. His eyes spoke the emotions he is feeling at the moment so you can’t help but stay still. 
Ushijima turned around to his friends, his eyes darkened while his jaw clenched in frustration. 
“All of you. Get the fuck out now.” He roared, causing everyone to bolt out in fear. 
While everyone was rushing to leave, he removed his jacket to wrap it around your body. That’s when you realize that you were wearing your home clothes. You subconsciously wrapped his jacket around you even more, attempting to even cover your thighs. 
With everyone gone, he carefully pulled you inside further. He guided you to his kitchen chairs, and he left to grab you a glass of water. While doing so, his toned back displayed right in front of you. 
Holy guacamole ravioli cheesecake. Your face flushed, seeing how his tight shirt just hugged the muscles on his back. Now you’re wondering if he is doing this on purpose, for fuck’s sakes. That shit’s illegal and not damn fair for your heart. 
“Here,” He suddenly spoke and placed the water on the table. “Drink up.” 
You bowed down slightly, offering your gratitude. You grabbed the glass with two hands, using the sleeves of his giant jacket as a barrier to cover the cold and wet glass. 
‘Now, what are you doing here, Y/N?” He asked, combing his hair back. 
You settled the glass down and said, “Why did you sponsor the festival?” 
“Because yo—the Student Council needed it,” He responded, gulping and hoping that you wouldn’t get the hint. 
“Is that the only reason?” You had to ask, not looking at him yet. 
“No,” Is all he said.
Your hands clenched, “Then why?” 
“Because it’s you,” He answered with no hesitation. 
Your head exploded in frustration. You stood up from the chair and stared at him with fury, “Don’t give me this bullshit!! So what? You’re fucking saying that you liked or care for me because I broke up with you? Do you have any idea how much I wished for you to look at me just once in our relationship? It took a fucking break up for you to even notice me? I’ve spent months trying to show how much I care, like and love you yet you never seemed to care about it!! And now you’re fucking saying you sponsored the damn festival becaused I’m there? That’s just next level bullshit!!”
”Y/N..” He tried coming closer, but you ended up hitting him by the chest. 
“No! Don’t!!” You yelled, tears forming in your eyes. “Don’t act like you fucking care. Don’t be like this because you pitied me. J-Just don’t….” 
Ushijima looked at your state, shaking and attempting to hold back tears. His heart clenched in pain, not realizing that he caused you this much pain. 
“I’ll admit,” He began to speak, which made your heart sink. 
“I did date you out of curiosity,” He confessed, and you couldn’t handle your tears and let them out. 
“But as time passed, I began to reciprocate your feelings as well. I just don’t know how to express it properly since I never liked anyone as much as I like you,” He added, which made you scoff.
“Bullshit, there’s no way. Everytime I did something for you I would stay nonchalant and continue on with your day!! You never even notice me!! Do you even know the things I like?” You asked, regretting to ask that question because you already know the answer to it. 
— or do you? 
To your surprise, Ushijima listed down your favorites; from your favorite color to your favorite habits to do when stressed. He went into full detail about what you like and what you dislike. He even got your complicated drink from Starbucks correctly too. Your face plastered a dumbfounded expression, not knowing how to react to this. 
“H-How….?” You had to ask, waiting for confirmation. 
He smiled, “I like you, Y/N. I take full responsibility for every pain I’ve given you. I’m sorry for not giving you the attention you need and deserve. I’m sorry that I asked you to keep this relationship a secret. I’m sorry that I used you for my benefit. I’m sorry that I was not the boyfriend you expected me to be. You’ve been nothing but a kind and considerate girl, the efforts you’ve shown me opened my heart to you. That’s why I can proudly say how much I’ve fallen for you. It’s okay if you don't forgive me now, I am willing to show this time why exactly I’m your best choice as a lover.” 
He bent down, grabbed your cheeks, and guided you to look up at him. Even in this position, you don’t dare to look him straight in the eye. Ushijima caressed your cheeks, wiping away the tears, and confessed again, “I like you, Y/N. I will give up everything just for you to take me back.” 
More tears flowed out of your eyes, getting more annoyed by the fact how sincere he sounded. That wasn’t fair, for fuck’s sake. Don’t usually guys put their egos first when doing this? 
You began punching him softly in the chest. “This isn’t fair..!! I hate you! How can I get angry at you when you’re this sincere!” You cried out, sniffling out all the emotions right now. 
He only chuckled softly, “Really? But I love you, Y/N.” 
Your eyes watered even more, and the punches on his chest increased. “I hate you!! Why are you like this!! This is illegal!!” 
“Yes, yes, yes,” He tried to hold back a laugh. 
Without you knowing, Ushijima sat down on the kitchen table. The latter positioned himself by putting one knee up and the other knee flat on the kitchen table. He then guided your body to lean against his knee. He also placed your legs over his other legs. His hands hold you so that you wouldn’t fall down. 
After you are done crying, he extends his hand to get your water and gives it to you. As soon as you drank, you began choking when he stared deeply into you. Now that you’re feeling better, you just fucking realized what position you are at. You were leaning back to his knees while your legs were on top of his thighs. His arms were wrapped around your waist, holding you in place. 
Ushijima grinned, seeing how red your face was. “Is it too hot in here? Should I lower the temperature of the air conditioner?” He teases, bringing his face closer to yours.
You immediately pushed his head away with both of your hands. You felt his throat vibrating a chuckle, his hands guiding one of your hands to his lips. He kissed the palm of your hand as you felt his lips smirked.
You blushed, “W-What are you—!!” You stopped speaking when his tongue went in between your fingers. He did this erotic action while staring at you like a predator. The butterflies in your stomach increased more as he continued licking and sucking your fingers.
“S-Stop…” You shivered, shrinking down as your eyes averted from his.
He brought his knee forward, bringing you closer to his face. “Do you want me to?” He angled his face where he could meet your eyes, but you kept on avoiding his gaze.
“Y/N, baby, look at me,” He pleaded, giving love to your fingertips.
Your head turned immediately after he called you by a petname. “W-What did you call me?” You asked, conveying a thunderstruck expression.
He smiled, “Baby. I know you like that petname since you kept blushing whenever the men in your kdramas calls their lady baby.”
You placed you chin down. “You noticed that?”
“I notice everything about you, Y/N,” He chuckled.
Your eyes twinkled a bit, feeling a sense of hope overlapping the sadness and frustration you felt. But, this was scary too since you have no idea if this was the right choice for your heart and your sanity. You were frightened that he was all talk and would do all the things he’s done that hurt you before.
“I’m scared,” You said honestly, finally having the courage to look at him. “I’m scared that if I say yes to you, you’ll end up hurting me. The hope I have right now might get crushed again.”
Ushijima used his free hand to removed the baby hair on your face. “I won’t hurt you ever again. I will prove that by showing you.”
You finally extended your hands, bringing them to his cheek. Using your thumb, you caressed them both as you stared into the orbs of his eyes. Your eyes twinkled a bit after verifying the solemnity and sincerity of his eyes.
You sighed, “Fine. You have one last chance. Don’t fuck this up.”
His mouth formed a huge smile on his face. He wrapped his buffy arms around you, holding you tightly yet tenderly. He kept whispering words of encouragement and sincerity, trying to denote his seriousness over you.
Ushijima tried locking lips, but you stopped him again. “I’II d-do that…I get shy when y-you do t-that s-suddenly,” You stammered.
His eyes went wide a bit then softened. He moved back a bit, waiting for you to make the first move with a small smirk. Your face redden with his cocky smirk, feeling both shy and bold from the expression he plastered.
Your fingers clutched the cloth of his chest and slowly leaned forward. You closed your eyes, lips quivering as you finally made contact with his lips.
You gave him one keen kiss, creating a pecking sound. You moved back to only shift your face to the side for a better angle. You then kissed him again. His jaw clenched, feeling his veins tensing up as you eagerly pushed yourself towards him. Ushijima pushed you down back to his knee with his kiss, he pinned you down with his strength and body.
You tried moving, but there was no avail. He was simply too strong and too big for you. You squirmed beneath him, shifting your legs side to side, up and down, forward and backward. Ushijima opened his eyes a bit to see your reaction, smirking as he licked your bottom lip. Your eyes went wide, you punched his shoulders as he continued asking for an entrance.
He nibbled, sucked, and licked onto my lips as he panted. The sounds of kissing echoed throughout the room, he groaned in the kiss once more before dividing into your mouth again. His body pressed against you so much, you had to open your mouth for him.
Ushijima did not hesitate to engulf your mouth. His tongue toured every corner of your mouth, twirling your tongue like popsicle and sucking your mouth like tits. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt, attempting to bring him closer.
Your neck began to hurt from looking up from the kissing. So with every strength, you pulled away from the kiss as saliva dropped from the side of your mouth. You panted heavily, chest moving up and down widly from that intense kiss.
The flare of your cheeks defined more when you saw his state — he was panting heavily while plastering a very intense look. His eyes darkened in lust, eyebrows frowning while cheeks are red from esctasy. A vein popped out from his forehead as sweat dropped from his hair.
You flinched violently, realizing that you are now under his dominance. There’s no escape from this, and you know it.
His jaw clenched once more, “If you don’t want this then please push me. Once I start, I will break you.”
Tears formed on your eyes as you cupped his cheeks. “You said you’ll prove how much you love me so prove it to me.”
Ushijima twitched, groping your thighs tightly as he lifted them up. His hand slid down, feeling the softness of your flesh against his calloused hands. You covered your mouth, not wanting to let out weird noises.
“Fucking shit. You come here looking so damn cute and irresistible. You had to wear such a thin shirt where your nipples are perking out? These damn sinful shorts are only defining these gorgeous legs. Now, you’re here wearing my fucking jacket too. You trying to rile me up from the beginning?” He asked, leaning down to lick the side of your neck.
“N-No..I-I..” You mewled, biting your lip when his huge hands gripped your under boob.
In a flash, he pinned you down on his kitchen table. This action caused your shirt to reveal your stomach, the blush on your face deepened in the hues of red. He licked his lips at the sight of you shaking beneath him.
He leaned back and spoke, “I haven’t even done anything yet, little one,” He grinned evilly, placing his hands behind his shirt.
“I’m just getting started,” He added, removing his shirt. Each movement he did made his abs so defined. The biceps and triceps kept buldging as he kept curing his arm, his veins also kept popping each time.
He leaned down, placing his tongue out. His hand wrapped around your waist as he licked your stomach. You covered your face, leaving gaps for you to see him staring at you as he moves up. The warmth of his tongue left a trail of goosebumps on your stomach. He then lifted the rest of your shirt up, revealing your tits to him.
“Such beautiful tits, all round and easy to grope for me,” He praised seductively.
The man did not hesitate to grope one of them, causing you to arch your back. He pleasured the other tit with his mouth. Ushijima used his free hand to pinch and twist your nipples. A loud moan escaped your lips in return. His mouth vibrated a growl, sending shivers to your breasts which increased the blissful feeling.
Suddenly, he pressed down your nipple with his index finger. You chocked a sob, watering your eyes even more from the sensation. He smirked against your skin so he pulled back from your tits to see his work of art. His eyes darkened in lust, seeing your state — your tits are smoldered with his hickeys, your nipples perked up, and your breasts was marked with his saliva.
“Fuck, baby,” He groaned. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”
With your teary eyes, you boldy looked at his lower region to see a damn mountain. There’s no way in hell that will fit inside you!! You slowly moved back while shaking in fear. He arched his brow, witnessing your cute attempt so he grabbed your ankle and pulled you back.
Ushijima placed your foot on top of his bulging cock and rasps, “Feel that? You’re the reason why my cock’s about to burst.”
Fucking shit. Why is he suddenly this unholy?!? He then traveled his hands up, tugging the end of your shorts. You blushed when he licked his lips again as he inserted his some of fingers inside the side of your shorts.
“I wanna fuck you so badly, baby. Can I?” He asked, caressing the side of your hips.
You shrunk upon his gaze and questioned, “Is this even right? We did just got back together…”
Ushijima used his other hand to cup your cheek with care. “It doesn’t matter what’s right and wrong because right now, what matters is how I’m gonna show you how much I fucking love you through my actions.”
Your heart clenched, hearing the sincerity of his words. The desperation of his hands and cock just adds more reasons why you should say yes. Moreover, you are feeling very horny. The months you’ve been together with him has pent you up. I mean, who wouldn’t get aroused by the sight of this man?
“I c-consent…” You answered, covering your blushing face.
He stayed quiet for a bit, causing you to feel nervous. However, the sounds of clothes tearing made your eyes wide. The feel of the cold air on your sweaty hot body made you shiver, but what made you shiver more is his predatory gaze.
You instantly covered your wet pussy, but he grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them above your head. He lets out a heavy pant with a deep blush on his face.
He chuckled, “Don’t even think about staying quiet because tonight…” His eyes turned a bit psychotic, displaying his desperation and sudden obession. “….I’ll make sure that every single room will be marked and stained by your delicious cum, baby.”
Ushijima abruptly grabbed your pussy, he rubbed the folds of your vagina. Seeing how you squirmed so much, he held your wrists tighter above your head. His fingers felt more juices leaking out as he pressed your clit.
He inserted a finger inside you, his cock releasing pre-cum from how smooth your walls were. He wiggled inside you, causing your teeth to grit with wide eyes. Tears from your eyes dropped, cursing on how bulky his finger is. What terrified you even more is that if his fingers are already making you stupid, what more of his cock?
You bit your lip as he inserted one more finger. You toes curled when he grabbed your walls in between his fingers and rubbed them. The pressure of your walls being squished together by his fingers made you pale up in pleasure.
“T-Toshi..!!” You mewled, feeling his fingers entering and exiting your pussy faster.
Hearing the nickname you gave him stimulated him to go in harder. His fingers dug deep inside you, knuckles by your pussy already. You chocked with your head thrown back. Ushijima began repeating this rough movement over and over again.
The stimulation began to be too overwhelming so you tried to close your legs, but he spread your legs even wider with his knees. This stretched made your thighs hurt, but his fingers were so much prominent in your mind — you can fucking visualize how his bulky fingers are ruining your insides.
A sudden churn in your stomach emerged as he contiuned to finger you roughly. Your body shivered while screaming, and he got an idea what was about to happen so he pulled his fingers back. The sudden loss inside you made you chocked a sob.
“Ain’t no way you’re about to cum without my cock inside you,” He rasped, positioning himself at your entrance.
Ushijima guided your wrists around his shoulders, kissing your forehead in the process. He also guided your legs, wrapping them around his waist. His hands removed all the hair covering your beautilful face. The latter stared at you with love, concern and desperation.
“Hold on tight to me, baby. My cock might hurt for you,” He gently warned, placing his hands on top of your head.
You felt your walls strectched, causing you to cry out tears from the pain. His bulbous tip finally entered you, causing you to tigthen both your legs and arms around him. The man kept whispering sweet words to you, trying to distract you from the discomfort of his cock entering you.
Soon, he was finally in. The man almost came from ecstasy from the feeling of his cock wrapped around nicely.
“Fuck yeah,” He groaned, face tingling with a deep blush on his face.
Your toes curled in discomfort while your back arched, defining the shape of his cock even more in your mind. He pulled back a bit, trying his best to have self-control. As he entered you slowly, you bit your lip in pain, this is now how you imagined sex to be; you geniuenely thought that sex will be pleasureable.
Ushijima shifted his cock, this shift caused you to jolt. This new position made you clenched hard around him, causing him to slam his hand on the side of the kitchen table. He gripped it so hard, his knuckles turned white.
You cried as his free hand traveled up. His hands groped your breasts first, fondling them. Giving your nipples a last pinch, he traveled his hand up to your neck. He wrapped the circumference of your neck, squeezing them a bit. The air on your lungs decreased, escalating an unknown feeling inside you.
He chuckled, “The night just started yet my poor baby looks fucked up already.”
The fake concern made you shiver, the feeling of being mocked was seriously something — its not a bad feeling, and that’s what scared you.
Feeling embarrassed with this feeling, you looked away from his intense gaze. The man clicked his tongue in annoyance so he squeezed your neck tighter, picking up the pace of his cock moving in and out of you. Because of this, you grabbed the hand on your neck with a gasp.
“Fucking bitch—” He growled, eyes glowing from the moonlight. “—who said you can look away? Fucking keep your eyes on me, baby. Don’t make me angry now.”
You gulped, feeling the angry aura surrounding him. With that, you slowly looked at him with watery eyes.
The last string of his sanity is now cut.
He groped your thighs, pushing your knees to your shoulders. The new position made your lower hips lifted in the air a bit. However, this primal position emphasized the exaggerated penetration of his cock. This exaggerated feeling made a new sexual tension between the two of you.
He was a lot closer than before, and you feel manhandled too. This deepened the redness in your cheeks while tears dropped from your eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted, seeing how you squirm beneath him.
“Does this satisfy your breeding kink, baby?” His question paled you completely.
How did he know? You stared at him with shrunk pupils, and the smirk on his lips got more cocky from your reaction.
Ushijima flatten his hips to your pussy, his balls were deep and collided on your ass. “How I found out is simple…” He brought his mouth closer to your ear. “… it's by watching you.”
He rolled his hips a bit, “Since my pretty baby loves breeding kink, I searched about it and this position helps enhance your kink.”
Your pale face turned red in a second — you didn’t know if you should be embarrassed by him noticing your kink or him watching your every move.
He licked his lips before pulling half of his cock and slamming it back inside. You chocked a sob, not having enough time to react. He continued ramming his cock in and out rapidly. From the vigorously movement, you grabbed your tits, holding them in place.
The new scene made him growl so he pressed you down more. You screamed louder, echoing the entire penthouse with your screams. The tears in your eyes dropped vigorously. His movements increased more by the scene of your teary eyes. The sound of your sobs riled him up so much, he threw his head back in pleasure.
Your lower back began to hurt, but the pleasure overlapped the pain.
In a second, he fucking carried you. Your eyes went eye as your throat choked a sob. He positioned your ankles on his shoulders, folding you in half. His only support is your ass. In this new position, he carried you down from the table.
Your teeth grit, seeing how he is walking towards the living room with a huge glass window in front of them. The man fucking carried you with his damn cock inside you.
What’s worse is that while walking, he would lift your ass up and slam you down slowly. This slow torture was both pleasurable and painful. You wanted him to fuck you stupid, but you can’t bare yourself to say the words.
This beast stood in front of the window, a glimpse of your reflection is seen when you look at the side. You blushed, subconsciously holding onto him tighter.
“Since I know your kink, it’s only fair if you know my favorite sex position,” He spoke, pulling his hips and your ass away from each other. He pulled back till the tip.
Suddenly, he barbarously collided your ass and his hips together. “This is my favorite position, little one.” He chuckled, continuing this assault in your ass.
A chorus of your screams echoed through the living room. Usjihima continued groping your ass tightly, vigorously slamming his hips to your ass. You can feel his heavy balls slapping your ass too.
“S-Slow down..!” You pleaded, drool dripping from your mouth.
“Awww, but baby, this is my favorite position,” He showed fake remorse, trying to show pity.
You threw your head back then look at him again, “B-But..!” You tried to reason out, but to no avail, it didn’t work.
“Baby, standing sex is my favorite because….” He paused, removing his cock entirely from your pussy.
“….there’s nothing to break, except you,” He grinned, ramming his entire cock inside of you again.
Your throat is getting too sore from all the screaming. Ushijima continues colliding his hips with your ass rapidly. The constant flattening of his hips hurts too much, but you didn’t mind since the pleasure was there.
His thrust was so strong, your tits bounce vigorously. The mere sight of your delicious tits is something he couldn’t resist. Ushijima dove down to your breasts, sucking them as if you were lactating.
“Bet if you were all round with my kids, your tits will be spilling with milk,” He grinned, loving the idea of you pregnant.
This was definitely too much for you. He rammed you violently and enticed you with your breeding kink. While sucking, he rolled his hips, bringing it back and forth. This caused you to yell, bringing his head closer to your breast.
You felt your stomach churning around. You had to choke out a sob since you felt close. Ushijima felt you clenched around him so much, making him growl.
With the last of his strength, he pulled out as he set you down. You didn’t have time to react when he pushed you to his glass window. The sweat all over your body made you slip a bit from the window.
He locked lips with you, kissing you hard. The sounds of kissing echoed through your ears, causing more juices to drip down your pussy. He suddenly groped both of your breasts roughly, fondling and tugging them apart.
He punched your nipples, yanking your breast to the side. The pain provoked you a squirm, making you slip against the window.
He pulled away with a growl, “Open your fucking legs wider.” The man slapped your tits a bit too hard, making you wince in pain and pleasure.
With shaky legs, you open them wider with the help of Usjihima’s support. The beast immediately went to your pussy, rubbing your clit side to side roughly, causing you to scream. The stimulation of your clit made your eyes blur in bliss.
You can only squirm, shiver, and scream under his presence. As he continued this, a new feeling in your stomach began to work around your stomach. This feeling is completely different from earlier.
You hit his chest, “S-Stop!! S-Something’s happening..!” You pleaded, noticing your hits are not affecting him
He didn’t stop and continued rubbing your clit and pussy. “C’mon baby, give it to me,” He rasped.
With that, you fucking squirted.
While doing so, Ushijima did not stop rubbing your clit. The overstimulation caused you to shiver violently while releasing. The squirt was going everywhere on his floor, and it made you embarrassed that it was still going.
As it began to decrease, he stopped rubbing as his hold on you began to loosen his grip. The loss of his support made you drop to the floor. You were now surrounded by the pool of your squirt.
You panted heavily, shivering from the overstimulation.
Ushijima combed his hair back, showing off his sweaty forehead. He chuckled, “We aren’t done yet, baby.”
His blushing face shivered as he bit his lip when he saw your expression. Seeing you sitting down on the pool of your own squirt with that sweaty body, messy hair, and fucked up expression is just so fucking exhilarating.
He licked his lips, standing proud and tall in front of you. “I did say I’ll stain every room with your juices. But before that…”
He fisted his cock in front of you and grinned, “Suck my cock.”
You licked your lips, seeing his huge veiny cock towering over your face. His pre-cum dripped every time he would fist it vigorously.
You put your tongue out, slowly going closer. As you get closer, the bigger his cock gets.
Soon, your tongue is licked on the tip of his cock. The taste of his pre-cum made you more eager. You focused your tongue around his tip, swirling it around. He growled loudly, and his neck veins became more defined as you pleasure him.
Ushijima threw his head back, his face tingling with a blush. He held your head, trying to push your head towards his cock more.
“Good baby knows how to suck cock, huh? Fuckkkkk, that’s it.”
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩.
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I loved Worship but it got me thinking about like what if someone kept calling her mean stuff during the show and just boys reacting to their girl getting slandered tnx
Guess who got carried away? 😂 I love it guys, thank you for popping into my ask. I really love seeing your ideas!🤍��
Sleep token x reader
For the record
It’s the usual shenanigans that get the show going. Considering that everyone was in a good mood tonight was already labeled to be a solid night. It always felt the best like this. When everyone was fully relaxed and enjoying themselves. You had lingered back with IV before the show, too lost in bickering until it was him messily making sure that your headset was on before someone thrust his guitar into his hands. A little wink. A little nudge. And it was back to the place you had grown to love. Crave deep within your soul.
It’s behind II that you sing some of your most beautiful solos. Finding your way up on his seat while his hands go up and down your thighs. Mostly trying to make sure that you don’t fall back but enough to seem that he’s more than happy to sit between your thighs while you stand above him. It’s the fleeting kisses that you keep sharing with IV tonight. One after another, every time you pass by. Till it’s almost funny when he’s right in front of you. Pretending as if it’s an unexpected bump in. It’s Vessel that you fall to your knees to and he’s more than happy to brush his thumb over your bottom lip, leaning in only to push your face to the side. Making you fake fallback as you lay your limp there for a couple of beats. Enjoying the roar of the crowd. III manages to trap you in between his guitar and you as you both swing to the beat. Your fingers trailing up and down his thighs.
But it was the odd eyes that you kept on landing on. First row. Right in front of you. Ones that made you sick to your stomach. Ones that you tried to avoid. But you kept on coming and coming back. And it’s when you come towards the edge of the stage to sing yet another part of your siren song that you hear it. “Cheep Whore”, “Band filth”, “Shared bitch”. Rolling in and in. With more and more people turning their heads towards the people screaming at the tops of their lungs.
And it’s as if the words had scorched you. You find yourself backing away. Till you hit something solid and warm. A hand coming to steady you. But you pull back just as fast. Turnning to find a pissed-looking Vess. “Keep going”, your mouth, letting yourself trail your gaze over the rest of the band. Only to find another three pissed faces. You grab Vessel’s hand, pulling him closer, “Do the rest of the show the way it was supposed to be”, you begged, “Leave it and keep going. They will follow”.
A wave of relief washes over you as he steps away. Continuing the next song. III blazing eyes are the next thing you see but you just shake your head at him. Even if the poor pick gets thrown across the stage and not in a nice way. But they stick through. Faces tight. The atmosphere off. The magic faded. The feeling was lost. You stick to the furthest part of the sage, doing your parts as if glued to it. The moment the last sounds of the cords fade, you’re turning onto your heel, diving backstage.
You feel stupid almost, that something that was going on in comments and posts for some time now had finally made you slip up. Cause you didn’t care. Not really…. right? “Y/N”, a bang sounded at the door making you flinch, “You in here?”. A part of you wants to keep quiet. Let this fade into the back too. But you hear the commotion, not enough to understand what the bickering is about, before a much louder banging ring through the quiet space. “Open the door”, IV's voice is much more strict than II’s. The agitation oozed out. “I am taking my makeup off”, your voice cracks, and your silent scream into the void within because you know that they would have heard it. “You take it off in the bus while we drink, don’t start bullshiting me now”, IV rattles the hand and you suddenly start to wonder how long it would take for him to break the door.
“Look”, II cuts in, “I get it, you want to be by yourself but we kind of got a situation going on with III”, and it’s enough to make you step closer to the door. Because you care about them and if III is flying off the handle it would be your fault. “What happened?”, you mutter, pressing your face against the door. You’re met with silence but it’s enough for you to know that they are looking at one another now, silently debating their next words.
“Jumped off stage and took off towards the pit”, and that’s enough for you to yank the door open. You just don’t get to go as far as two pairs of hands pulling you back. “Come here”, you hear IV mutter before you were met with II's embraces. The warmth of him cutting deep through you. Making your eyes sting. Yet you pushed back, trying to escape them both. “Let me go, let me talk to him”, you wheezed. “It’s taken care of”, IV cut in, “He’s backstage somewhere, you don’t need to worry”.
You looked up at them, “You tricked me, idiots”. IV reached to catch your face, “You ran off, locked yourself in a fucking bathroom. What do you expect that we baked you cookies?”. “IV”, II hissed, “What he was trying to say is that we care for you and that shit on the stage shouldn’t have happened”. You fist II shirts, trying to keep your composure, “I don’t care and don’t understand why you’re making a big deal out of it”, you sighed in frustration. You needed out, or you would cry and you hadn’t yet done that in front of the boys.
“This is a mutual choice”, Vessel’s voice fills the space, “If we mess around, we mess around together. One of us having to take shit for it is bullshit”. And that’s when you see him. Rubbing his left hand’s chuckles. Your whole body drains from your body. “You punched him didn’t you?”, you mutter, already thinking of all the articles. And what for? After all the years of staying out of bad PR. Your legs move on their own accord and with a couple of steps you are wrapped up in III’s arms. “For the record, I missed”, he grunts. And that’s the thing that snaps the last bit. A strange strangled noise leaves your lips before you can clap a hand over your mouth. The look in III eyes shifts, “I would go back there, just saying”, he mutters before pulling you back into him by the back of your head.
“I need Chinese tonight”, II throws it out in the open. Making the salty stream of tears down your cheeks feel less pathetic in a way, as everyone snorts in their toes. “I call dibs for the bus bed tonight”, Vess points out and it’s as if nothing had happened. The same dynamic between you five talking is usually formed. “You’ve slept there for the last two stops”, III is quick to remind him, yet his eyes are still on you. Quietly assessing the real damage. “And before you say it, you aren’t special because you’re long and skinny”, Vess simply flips III off before the room is once again filled with laughter. You feel soft hands brushing against your chin before your head is gently nudged upwards. Meeting IV eyes within a blink. “Head up, little siren”, he muses, brushing the tears off your cheeks, “Can’t have you loosing your spark”. You nod tightly, trying to not let another wave of emotions cloud your eyes. “For the record, I would eat you out”, III shrugs, making the rest of them chorus his name with curses following right after.
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buttercuparry · 2 days
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Now that I have slept on it, I feel like I can talk about Ming. I don't really have anything new to say that others haven't said before, but this is just me assembling my thoughts. So it is kind of long
Ming has issues. He has issues that he has never worked on and it manifests in the worst possible way, especially when he feels jealousy. He is used to throwing money at people and them complying to his wishes- he had someone prepare a separate van for him during the ad shoot, people on crew seem to comply to his wishes regardless of what it would mean for the project, he is sure that he can make the new guy act as an escort for him- so you know the usual entitled rich guy stuff but now notched up higher.
Like I said, Ming as a person hasn't changed. And the show isn't trying to have an argument against that either. Rather everything that's happened in the "after" scenes reiterates that while his affections have found a new home, there has been no personal growth. There won't be any redemption- it is what it is.
There also won't be an escalation to Ming being a full on sadist. He isn't a character from Strangers From Hell, he isn't Hannibal. There is nothing of that sort. If anything, he is just like every other abusive and overbearing partner in a relationship. Only in shows like Marry my husband, we get to see the female lead overcoming them, but here we have our protagonist get back with Ming, because something works by the end I guess. It is a standard BL and it will stick to its format and people who are enjoying this show, know all of this and watching it for what it is.
So I don't have a problem with all the "romantic" scenes. I don't think the show is deliberately trying to make you feel sorry for Ming- it is going only as far as it needs to get Joe back into accepting him. So it is more for Joe, the character than about the audience.
Now in the storyline this means that we have Ming who is very reserved around other people, talking only as far as to give an order and that's it. I don't think most characters see the worst of him and it is because he just isn't bothered about anyone outside of those he considers important. So he will be considerate and kind to May. He will give Tong the respect of a brother in law as per the culture that's common to so many Asian countries and he will be his most hateful self with Joe.
I think Ming does suspect that both these people are the same person. We have seen the preview and even this episode starts with an interrogation about the date of the accident and if Joe dreams about anyone. So in Ming's head there is something going on that's no less than a plot of an action movie. Maybe memory loss and plastic surgery...really who knows, anything except for the soul transmigration.
So we see the Ming who locked Joe up in jealousy and the Ming who would have forced himself on Joe out of jealousy. This remains the same. The only difference here is Joe, and he is done with Ming's bullshit. He is done with Ming questioning him about Tharn. He is done with Ming questioning him about working with Sol and what not. The contract Joe entered was about having sex with Ming, which is why he said " I am your dog, aren't I. Come on ask me for the paw then" So basically you bought me for sex, force yourself on me then, I can't do anything about it. But not this...he didn't sign up for this jealousy when he thinks he is once again a Tong stand in.
I will be honest. I do not empathize or sympathize with Ming. I cannot get behind the rhetoric of him being a hurt, broken boy. He drove his lover to death because of his jealousy ( he accepts this), mourns this but then does something horrible to the guy he suspects having some connection to his dead boyfriend because of jealousy.
My question is when the truth is revealed- what happens then? Because Ming wouldn't suddenly turn into a new leaf. So would they be having a conversation? Or would this be something hanging uncertainty over the relationship for eternity.
Or
Would Joe be into it, if he realizes that all of this has been for him and not Tong...
( I know, I know, no need to boo at me for the last line- I am just thinking out loud here).
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pollyna · 11 months
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5 times through the years, Bradley sees Iceman, the navy pilot, and then the rising Admiral and learns almost nothing about him + 1 Bradley not only sees him but also gets to know him and Tom.
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wasyago · 9 months
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we're at it again🕺
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sluckythewizard · 4 months
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THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)
#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST#SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG#their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart#ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT#THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK#IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER#BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED#HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG#THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE#viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH#I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS#okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl#IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee#check out my main artblog. GO!!!
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goldkirk · 4 months
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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blupengu · 14 days
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Y’all is Hollow Knight hard or do I just suck because oh my god??
#not gonna inflict my ramblings onto someone else’s post so just making a text post for myself#but oh my god#what the fuck?#maybe I’m not a hardcore metroidvania fan but I like them well enough#do I suck that badly at games now?? am I old to the point that my hands can’t do this shit????#did I just somehow fuck myself at some point???#because wow this feels kind of sadistic????#and not even in the fun kind of way?????#like I think I’d rather submit myself to fear and hunger again rather than continue where I am now in hk#idk maybe I’m missing something#but I just got wall jump and was so happy until I fell down to where you can challenge those mantis dudes#got myself out of there but then as I was exploring northwest I keep dying and reviving from the fucking bouncy balls over water#and the normal mantis mobs are also kicking my ass?#and dont even get me started on the weird tentacley nuclear bomb mushroom things those are just bullshit#AND THEN AS I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME EXPLORING HEADING TOWARDS A SAVE BENCH I GET DROPPED INTO DEEPNEST??????#WHAT KIND OF JUMPSCARE BULLSHIT??????????#AND THE FUCKING COCKROACHES THAT NEVER SEEM TO STOP SPAWNING KILL ME#and then I see how fucking far back I’ve been dropped in the corner of fungal wastes#and I try jumping through the fucking bouncy balls again#and I die and lose my money#I can’t fucking do this shit anymore y’all holy fucking shit#the number of times I’ve died and restarted from that fucking fungal wastes bench I am so sick of it 💀#legit I think this is the first time I’ve rage quit a game#it’s been a while since a game’s actually made me this angry I want to fucking throw something 😂#the willpower and self control I needed to not chuck my pro controller across the room…#if I didn’t have neighbors and a unit below me I’d be throwing shit for sure though#but instead I must smack pillows against my mattress in a rage 😂#I think I hate the ‘go back to where you died to get back your money’ punishment system… like legit I actually really really hate it.#I do think the game is fun and I know I’ll probably quickly gain the money… but it feels like the game’s telling me I fucking suck lmao#suffice to say I will not be playing any more hollow knight for the foreseeable future 💀
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sysig · 7 months
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I think that if GLaDOS had a human body for whatever reason (insert your own justification here) that she wouldn’t actually look like Caroline
I think she’d look like Cave
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delighted that i'm so much more fond of chuuya at this point than i was just a couple years ago. it took the stormbringer play, the cannibalism play, and the fifteen manga (still haven't gotten to those two novels in their entirety, I Will Soon I Promise), it took 6ish+ years, but i can confidently say I Get It Now. Now i just need asagiri to break him (affectionate) in the manga and actually give him a character arc already <333
#i went through my own character arc okay i have Learned#still don't really get it from the pre-light novels era but i definitely get it now#he's actually written so well in those lns it's astounding. now fr if only that could be transferred to the actual manga *sigh*#if you can't tell i'm still so pissed and betrayed by the meursault arc. on all fronts lol but chuuya was one of the worst victims ughhhh#i may be hyped about this fyodor shit rn but do not mistake that as me forgetting how angry i still am over all that anticlimactic bullshit#happy birthday chuuya you really deserve so much better </3#been thinking so much lately about what asagiri is planning for him. or if he's planning anything at all. the signs are so contradictory!!!#i know the fandom made him a huge thing from the early anime days when he probably wasn't meant to be more than an extreme side character#why? again i still don't understand (shipping. it's shipping okay; that's why i was always unfairly biased against him lmao)#but even if that's the case then he wrote the light novels that are SO GOOD so like!!!!#now there's buildup!!!! now there's expectations for him!!!!!!#you can't just never have verlaine and adam not come back in the story again at some point#in the same way that ango did from a light novel#and how oda HAS to be addressed by the end of the story#and all the lore bs in 55 minutes#just WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH CHUUYA ASAGIRI. I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW#THE SIGNS ARE VERY WORRYING BUT IN A COMPELLING WAY AND I NEED THEM TO PAY OFF SO BADLY#me going literally insane lately over a character i still claim to not be one of my favorites. lmao
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bravevolunteer · 4 months
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one day i will finally add one of those “michael helping with the murders/remnant experiments” aus
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arrowpunk · 11 months
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What is up everyone I am back on my animation bullshit so be warned lol
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. ​don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
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southislandwren · 1 year
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I deeply love the freshman but she just called twice to ask if could jump her car at a location 30 minute drive away, I am pajama’d and blind in bed . No I cannot dedicate over an hour of time when it’s already my bedtime because surprise, I wake up at fuckin 4:25 am 🙃
NO FUCKING WAY was I awake typing this godforsaken post and my other friend called me for 30 MINUTES!!!!! You fuckheads I work on a farm do not contact me after 7:30!!!! Arggghhhhhh okay goodnight and anyone else who calls me is NOT getting an answer I am asleep GOODNIGHT !!!!
#and last night I got like 5 hours of sleep and I didn’t take a nap today. I shouldn’t be fucking driving anyway because I’m SLEEPY sleepy#I was like give me 30-40 minutes and she was like uhhh I will call some other people… yeah do that .#like if I do go for a drive this weekend I’ll still invite her but I’m getting a little sick of her antics#diary post#ugh. anyway if you find this E I do deeply love you fr but I told you I wasn’t going to be a good friend this summer#and I didn’t mean like teehee I can only hang out on Saturdays#I meant the likelihood I text back or see you in person more than twice a month is VERY low#and yeah this is on me for picking a stupid fucking job but like. I need to be sick of farming before I head to a city for 5+ years#I am exhausted down to my core. I relapsed in my bad habit on Saturday. I am barely functioning.#I don’t think I’ve eaten anything that’s not fruit or dairy products in the past 3 days. I am desperately waiting for an incident at work.#begging to the universe to let me get kicked in the head or something so I can have a few fucking days off PLEASE#anyway goodnight. now im all wound up and I’ll get another 5 hours of sleep#also ironic the second friend who called me was gossiping abt this guy at work that should just shut up sometimes#and im sitting there on the other side of the phone YAWNING after picking up and answering I am already in bed#and my friend is still rambling on about stupid inane work bullshit that I do not care about.#okay goodnight for real. I hate everything
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violetclarity · 2 years
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Had to order a new copy of Prisoner of Azkaban this week for work (normally I wouldn’t put any more money in her pocket, obviously, but we are a library serving middle schoolers and the copy I was replacing had literally detached from its binding) and I forgot that the summary is all “Sirius Black, most notorious prisoner in all of Azkaban, Voldemort’s heir apparent, murdered twelve people” and I was so shook because I forgot that’s how he is introduced and you don’t get the full picture of the Marauders until like? book six?
Anyway I was so overcome for a minute that I almost tried to engage one of my coworkers in conversation about how many emotions the marauders plot line gives me. That’s how distracted I was. I almost WENT TO ANOTHER ROOM to FIND MY COWORKER and try to discuss the fact that REMUS AND SIRIUS WERE IN LOVE.
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mothbug · 1 year
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you show me a tarot card at this point and i WILL go ‘oh like [revue starlight character]!’ they should never have done this to me
#revstar#arcana arcadia ruined my life some may say it ruins my life to this day#i am thinking about it always always. revstar in general i am always thinking about.#if i posted as much abt revstar as i think. well you would all know everything about stella and shiro#(threat)#let me tell you more about how they (in a franchise where it’s directly stated that the characters are trading their youths for theater) are#the ones who have lost their youths the most tragically because they never had a choice.#and have never really been friends as equals but are probably still the closer to each other than anyone else.#not even about aa . this is just .#like let me tell you about this shot where everyone else is interacting with stella as friends#and shiro just has#her hands behind her back. let me tell you about -#and i’m STILL a seisho girl at heart they’ve just been on the mind#like DUUUDE we haven’t even seen who shiro really is without all the BULLSHIT on her shoulders just little glimpses… SHES ONLY 14..#and stella. well she is haunted by trauma apparitions very literally. and this is only AFTER the expectations of her family cause her to hav#an onstage breakdown and consider herself a failure#and her family have literally basically called her a disappointment iirc??????? get her OUT OF THERE!!!!!!#could talk about the symbolism with all of the second wave siegfeld characters for HOURS#they’re based on extinct animals that’s literally the thing i’m autistic about#ranting in tags so no one has to wade through all the posts i want to make#so funny this post is abt as and i didn’t even talk abt it… i promise i have just as many thoughts about it
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