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nav-ix · 2 years

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not to draw conclusions that will probably immediately be disproven when I read nona, but I'm thinking a lot about the dynamic of the old lyctors compared to the people at canaan house

imo, this series seems to discuss the way that official and oppressive systems get turned human over time- how a harmful, twisted hierarchy (that of the necromancer and cavalier, for example) inevitably strays from the horrible trap it was designed to be (epitomized by mercy and augustine, who are still trapped within it). over time, people explore that framework, interpret it in their own ways, subvert it, turn it inside out. you get twisted versions of it, like silas and colum, but you also get new and wonderful versions of it, like abigail and magnus or cam and pal.

they didn't know what lyctorhood was designed to be! they didn't know how sinister "one flesh, one end" actually is. all they know is that they love each other, and that love kind of redefines what a necro-cav relationship COULD be, and what it is in so many instances. and the proof of that is that of ALL the houses that showed up at canaan house, none of them but ianthe would have gone through with lyctorhood.

did that mean the cavaliers were objectively worse at being cavaliers? maybe! but I think the series is arguing that love is what redefines those horrible traditions, and in light of those new definitions, the old traditions become flimsy by comparison. mercy and augustine are trapped. that's what being a lyctor means to them and it always will. but the story isn't written in stone yet for harrow and gideon, or for cam and pal! it's a tradition that has done violence to them, and they'll carry that forever. but beside that old and twisted tradition, someone like cam kind of stands out as an even more perfect cavalier than one who would see their entire purpose as sacrifice.

#also yes this is an allegory for gender #sorry if this doesn't make sense #i definitely explained it better in my freakin ESSAY #but so much about the old lyctors feels like a foil to the new ones/new characters #like their story is so sad and so final #and its mirrored SO much in people like harrow and gideon #but their story isnt set in stone yet! they still have time #anyways watch me read nona and revoke all of this #although if this series doesn't have at least a little hope in its ending. im gonna snap #tlt #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth spoilers #tlt analysis

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gizkasparadise · 4 months

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2023 wrapped: webtoon edition!

my final 2023 wrapped post for the year! unlike previous ones, this list is every series i read this year vs. ones that started this year. previous lists for this year:

cdrama edition

kdrama edition

ranked from least favorite to most favorite, which doesn't mean objectively best, just ones that hit me more. ones that are completed series will have a * after the title

15 my deepest secret*. omfg i hated this webtoon. the twist was asinine and frankly ignorant. none of the characters were likeable by the end. hate quit this one with like 5 chapters left to go i just couldnt

14 my second husband. seemed promising at first! i was hooked for the first 40 chapters or so but then it just started getting weirdly paced, had big plot holes, and nothing ever felt like it was getting resolved. the ML had like 0 charisma as well. dropped.

13 to love your enemy. this one was REALLY fun until the cult arc hit and then it was the biggest wtf is happening. dropped it shortly after

12 i dont hate us*. i liked this one until the timeskip ending, where then everyone and everything just felt really off. the second female lead gets a special mention because i HATED her at first but by the end she was my favorite character <3

11 romance 101.* this was okay. the art style was really cute and i loved the FL. but there never seemed to be any chemistry with the main ship to me, and the plot became really focused on the app/programming club which bored the hell out of me. dropped this one around chap 100

10 shadow bride. nothing bad but nothing particularly noteworthy for me. fluff read.

9 high spirits neoma. im not very far into this webtoon yet, or it'd be higher up the list im sure. im around ch 5 and finding it really charming and i love the color palette for it

8 dreaming freedom/freedom in dreams. although the art style isnt my cup of tea, i really enjoyed this fucked up high school revenge/romance webtoon but where im currently at (ch. 111ish) it's starting to feel a little circular. hoping it goes back to what it does best which is Unsettling Shit

7 my reason to die*. man this would've been in my top 3 but the ending arc is just. really boring??? like i dont want to watch them search for a pot farm for 10 chapters. i havent finished this one yet, but ive been putsing getting back into it ever since post reveal. the drama is very pretty though and the reveal chapters hit me like a truck in a good way

6 operation true love. i borderline hated this webtoon when i first started, but the reviews had me wanting to stick it out and im so glad i did!! around ep 10ish it really finds its footing and just keeps going for it! very kdrama in flavor and endearing FL.

5 unholy blood*. a fun, dark, and nostalgic webtoon about vampires and vampire hunting that brought me back to my tween years in the best way. the character designs are really awesome. it's a little lower on the list because the ending felt a bit rushed, but it's a really solid horror/action comic with a lil romance

4 surviving romance*. this one's complete but i got about 10 chapters left. it's a really fun horror comic (NOT romance, dont be fooled by the title) that reminds me of extraordinary you but if the plot was focused on the metaphysical horror of it a little more. fun characters and relationships. a little lower just because the second "return" arc feels tedious/unneeded so far. we'll see. TEAM RINA.

3 maybe meant to be/fate found by chance. ive found that i tend to gravitate toward darker webtoons, so this is my c-c-combo breaker! cute, funny, quirky, and really endearing. standard contract marriage plot but between two delightful weirdos

2 purple hyacinth. this series is everything. the art is gorgeous, it has its own OST built into the reading. the characters are nuanced and complicated and omg it's a ride and a half so far.

1 olgami/trapped*. INCREDIBLE characters and such an intense look at enemies-to-lovers. the drama starts as a psycho-thriller about gravedigging for a vampire and ends up about two leads who have never learned how to love willing to try it with one another in their fucked-up way. dysfunctional. hot. SO GOOD. the art evolution for this series was great as well

#webtoon #manhwa #olgami #purple hyacinth #maybe meant to be #gizka 2023 wrapped

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joyaphoria · 3 years

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the five chances you give him (5)

pairing: suna x f!reader

note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)

summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didn’t figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.

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part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna

"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.

"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."

it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to it—no, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.

you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.

so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.

but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.

"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.

his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?

"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"

hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.

"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.

"rintarou."

now that caught both of you off guard.

it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.

as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meant—he was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.

he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.

"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. God—mei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.

"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.

"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.

you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way out—and it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)

his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.

"yea, well not for long"

five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.

there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.

you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.

turns out there was a third reason.

"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.

"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.

"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.

"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.

"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.

"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."

you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.

his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile back—the one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.

"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.

a soft grin takes over your face—and while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.

now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.

you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.

when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.

"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.

you nodded, and he chuckled.

"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."

now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.

when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.

your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.

he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.

as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.

he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.

when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.

he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing again—it flutters.

with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.

the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.

the tears fell but he didn't sob—not once. you didn't look his way either—not once.

instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.

when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.

when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.

he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.

suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.

when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.

he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.

"thank you for today, suna."

he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.

"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.

"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.

"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.

"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.

you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."

he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."

you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.

"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."

you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?

instead, he falls to his knees and cries.

that was it. he lost you—he lost everything.

the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.

when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.

you had it all planned out, didn't you?

when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.

"suna. wake up."

his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.

"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.

she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.

she couldn't be surprised—the lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.

heartbreak isn’t easy, but suna’s heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.

you’re everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. he’s reminded of you, and recovering addicts don’t test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.

and so suna moves out, running from the place that you’ve drenched in your presence.

he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.

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