#also you shouldnt really have read this
Text
Mannnn I just love Heizou sm its kinda driving me insane😕🤒
#hes sooo#rrrrrrrrr#very barkable to look at#have you seen him#hes so stareable but at the same time id faint the moment I catch sight of hi.#no because i lowkey wish i was the stick hes bringing around/holding during his idle animation#if i was a criminal and i was caught by him id be willingly do the stupid decision of trying to use violemce against him#just so he can kick me in the stomach and all that#ykwim??#itd be so worth it i wouldnt care if it hurts so much i cough up blood#i just want him to use violence on me as well as a form of selfe defense is all#nyways thats pretty much all#i think#idjajs thanks for coming to ted talk guys bye#also you shouldnt really have read this#lmaoaoaoao
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
every time i post i am reminded that some of my irls follow me on twt/instagram (not here afaik. thank goodness) sorry guys for being way too invested in a manga based on dead authors. i may be cringe but i am free
#i feel like in high school or younger like ok. thats cool and i was the weird art kid in middle school so like ok youre just like that +#and its a phase you go into of making stuff for something you enjoy#but im in college now adulting and doing real life things and im like. is this childish to draw and whatever#i love drawing and stuff so whatever i draw is really just for me to explore a hobby#idk. maybe im reading too far into this i know i shouldnt care about what other people think but these are ppl i look up to and am close wi#also every time my irls have found my art account its been an ACCIDENT when they see me on my phone or something 😭😭😭 that is NOT +#information i give out randomly im way too embarrased for that they do not need to know i go by a whole different persona online very far +#removed from my irl stem student duties
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive had to step away from all the analysis of the finale because thinking about it for too long it fills me with such a [rage? bitterness? frustration? all of the above?] the likes of which ive genuinely never felt for a show before
ive cared about media before. ive been disappointed by media before, but i think the difference is i haven't put my faith in media like i did ofmd- and the more time passes the more i feel fucking stupid for putting that faith in the show in the first place, when so many of the things coming to light now were already there
i cant think about it too long else it makes me so fucking sad, and im tired of analysing it to bits because its not going to change anything, theres no way to fix any of this, no way to find a spark of light in it, no way to come back, to resurrect the show i fucking loved.
im sure everything everyone is saying is well thought out and nuanced things but for the sake of my own enjoyment of this fucking show i have to just not engage with it anymore.
#the last post was the exception to this and its only bc that segment of the interview was directly on my feed#like im sorry if you followed me for my serious takes and now youre getting silly goofy dude#but not taking this media too seriously is the only way im coping rn#ikyk ive talked your ears off about my relationship with fucking show and the fandom in the past month but. but#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd critical#like. the serangela break up Sucks and i could yell about it forever#but in the end i dont think i really went in having faith that marvel wouldnt fuck it up#and thats the difference here for me#the faith i did put in. and the way i see how that i shouldnt have#ill still complain. but i dont have the energy to read them or try and write them in a way thats in any way fact checked or nuanced i just#i need to complain but i need to keep my love for this fucking show i. need to#again. ikyk. so. silly hours. ignoring s2 hours. making up that fictional man hours. i gotta#also please enjoy nyx tries to label an emotion and fails
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi shkika …. i just wanna say your designs and interpretations of the iterators are super cool and when i first saw them, especially sliver and innocence, it really opened my eyes to the fact that these characters can Really Be Anything. and i think that’s super awesome!!! keep doing ur thing bro … cuz it’s really inspiring to people…. but most of all because it’s clear u have fun doing it <3
thank you cream.. wow.. i don't know if your timing was on purpose or not, but it's great anyway. it means a lot really
#ask#simcardiac-arrested#i love seeing you aroung a lot#especially because your content is one of the first i got to enjoy in the fandom.#love your ocs#and i loved ur stuff with moon and nsh esp#the divorce comic was very real#and so is ur animatic#anyway this was very nice to read#im really happy you enjoy sliver and innocence! i have a lot of fun with them#and i shouldnt feel bad about any jabs or negative comments.#it is how it is!#most people are really sweet anyway!#hnorgh im going to bed#nighty everyone kiki will be working on comms (which are still open ahem..) and moonie blog stuff fn#hopefully ill be able to answer more asks there are SOO many interesting questions hgragh#and also i wanna do some oc ref sheets for fun
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cant wait for filming to finally begin so this tag goes back to talking about actual season 5 content/theories/analysis instead of the gay/bi mike thing for the 28282662 time
#byler#This is also one of the reasons why I'm taking a break#Sure it's important to analyze a character and everyone is in their right to post whatever they want#And obviously homophobic and biphobic arguments must be called out#But does this really have to happen every single day#It's getting boring#Can't wait for everyone to be distracted with new content again#And also#If you want to post you opinion on his sexuality do it#And if you're reading someone else's opinion you disagree with just debate nicely without being rude#It shouldnt be that hard#But please let's not turn this into twitter 2.0
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
sniffs. man. i really want this job :(
#misc#TLDR:#a recruiter calls me coupla weeks ago; says she wants me on their production - and in that same exact call ends up saying#“oh actually i'm not sure you fit. this might not happen” cuz she actually read my resume this time.... while on call with me?#how about you take a proper gander at my resume before calling me to offer me a job and then change your mind....#ended the call saying “contact me again on January 8th if you're still interested and i'll see if i can squeeze you in as a junior”#(which. okay. first off why would you have to “squeeze me in” when you actively called me for the job.#Also i'm not a junior. but sure we'll see what the pay is like)#so i contacted her on the 8th and she was like haha actually i doubt we'll have any spots left for you! smiling emoji#and just earlier rn she sent me a new DM asking if i have an updated portfolio since the one they have is from 3yrs ago#so she revived a little bit of hope i know i shouldnt have cuz i HIGHLY doubt they'll hire me for this prod given how things have been goin#its late now i doubt ill get any news one way or another before sometime next week (hopefully)#ugh...... i really want this job man.#i've had too many feature film opportunities slide from my grasp. please let me have this#having this one experience will make it easier to get hired for more. i'm fucking begging on my knees
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i read 'the gender of mona lisa' and i feel. both extremely seen and yet incredibly infuriated
#the gender of mona lisa#SPOILERS in the tags but uh#the whole premise is that in this world people dont have a defined sex until they turn 12#and the main character is 18 and hasn't gotten a sex yet#and also their two best friends (one guy one girl) confessed to them at the same time#and it's a really nice story and dialogue where they're conflicted on what they want to be and why can't they just stay the same#and if choosing either one of their friends means they need to adhere to one gender or the other#there's also a caveat where if you don't choose to a sex (by hormone treatments if your body doesn't present as one sex) by age 20#then 'something bad' will happen i.e: you die#it's thought provoking and sad at times but also very frustrating. i get the author is japanese and this is very much a sort of reflection#on japanese ideals of sex and gender...and a more open reflection at that#considering how there's a lot of questioning on what DEFINES femininity and masculinity#but i dont like how the author makes it out that not choosing it this horrible tragic thing. and that you can be one or the other#but still have interchangeable feminine or masculine traits which is fine!! be a girl with boy interests and vice versa#and also enraging as hell. like ive seen this rhetoric from terfs where theyre like. 'dont be trans!! just be a lil girly or boyish!!'#the one character that was written who DIDNT choose to be one or the other killed themself which was? really really saddening#and also pissed me the hell off!!! this shouldnt be a punishment!!!!!#man..........oh well. i digress. it was an interesting read despite it all
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni
#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed#hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty#and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait#and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY#ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD#I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same#so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP#like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself#did u see me insulting u to ur face#nope i have not done even once#and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes#like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that#i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same#if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me#and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid#some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes#and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one#pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off#and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay#this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that#if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul#have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about going to World Most Boring Bible Study Ever. Idk yall. Idk. Idek.
#the number of times i have faked a call yo leave early. the number of times ive played solitaire on my phone. i got to the potty to kill tim#like! just answer questions its not that hard!!!!!!#you dont even need to be right just throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks!#also group leaders stop reading questions from a script from your phone#ALSO PLEASE CAN WE STOP GOING THROUGH THE SAME VERSES WE GO THROUVH ON SUNDAYS#this is why we have a split in our life group/church crowdm just sayin#i just. i just miss doing bible studys with people who were way smarter than me#being a church kid in a college church is just 👁👄👁#i shpuldnt be dreading going to bible study!!!!!!#so its probably a me problem right?!#and also the group leaders have had to tell me to stfu more than once (politely. which was really annoying. dont pussyfoot around!!)#also our only bible study is also our ~only space for new comers~ so i get in trouble if i get too meaty in my excitements and theology#EHICH SHOJLDNT BE MY FAULT!!!!!!!#and YEAH it IS my fault that its my only spot where im spiritually feeding. but also there is a secret eomens group people mention that..#i guess im just excluded from? but also i know most of the women dont like me bc I have interminable Doesnt Shut Up Disease l#like i understand fhat yes it is a little my fault rhat me talking about deep theology makes them feel inadequate but also THAT SHOULDNT BE#guh. i also forgot my meds today so im a little bit more mulish and hard hearted#and i KNOW its a teachable moment amd God is usimg this to temper me or something else but im feelimg grumblr#and ill probably delete this later.#and i have to got to work ok bye
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
where im taking the doctor for a date tbh
#yea we're doing all three in a day no thats not insane thats being honest about the speed at which they live their life#you know that thing about how the speed of your heart determines how fast you experience time?#like mice experience time faster than us and also live shorter?#bc their hearts beat faster than ours?#dont know if thats true but i read it once i think#you know how the doctors hearts sound like. super hyper fast?#anyway i want to spend a day hearing the most bonkers corrections of museum cards and watching them get in fights with museum people#'listen ''mr expert'' i killed the last dodo (turns to me. 'accidentally!' turns back) i Think i'd know what they look like dont you'#'really wasnt my fault. was a little bit my fault. 53 birds one timey wimey detector sort of a situation. shouldnt have brought it honestly#'but you dont step out of your tardis going:#'hm maybe i shouldnt bring my machine that boils eggs at 30 paces in case i run into the last 53 dodos''#'i mean the 17th century wasnt even on the agenda! i was in the 32nd century! two galaxies over! and then suddenly: mauritius'#'dont know what happened'#'well'#'53 exploded dodos. happened.'#'my sincerest apologies'#and i'll go 'lunch?'#or kissing with tongue behind a dinosaur skeleton whichever
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
UGRHJQHJI stress and this feeling of guilt and sorrow is eating me alive tonight i am NOT in a good mood right now omw to start EATING GRASS
#i dont know#i may delete this later#probably#school starting for me is NOT helping too#hopefully when/if I go to sleep I feel better#probably not bc then i’ll realize tmrw is when school starts#IDK WHY BUT IM JUST REALLY STRESSED FOR NOT MUCH OF A REASON#its fucking with me so bad why the fuck did my school have to mess up MY schedule so i dont know where to go on the first fucking day#also#i feel like i need to vent#not about stuff school related but#in general#but i know im not going to#because nobody is going to listen to my vents without shutting me off or saying they have it worse#that second part was directed at my mom but#the only person who will listen to me vent is my qpp#but i dont want to worry him about what im feeling#it shouldnt worry about my problems i just need to keep my problems to myself#damn im reading these tags right now and ig thats what happens when you come from a family who suppresses their emotions#and tell you youre hysterical when you open up 😇#omg ignore this#closet rambles again on tumblr
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are 2 roommates
"is that incest? yuck. well actually theyre only half brothers so its less yuck and more hot. btw did you watch that dog-fucking anime? its so weird who let this exist. i watched the entire thing. its not bad if you ignore the dog. you should watch it"
"you watch anime too? beware of pixiv. i heard theres anime csem on it. "
#and then theres me who is the third roommate#im not allowed to judge anything ive seen everything#the three of us are in like 3 different stages of otaku#im at the top. seen it all and im not even gonna pretend to be disgusted. yeah its there. yeah im a freak. chilling#then is roommate 1. she reads the same stuff in danmei but pretends to find it weird in anime#and then is roommate 2. shes not even talking about l*lis. shes straight up misidentifying all anime women#im definitely more vanilla that roommate 1. shes still in her denial phase tho#speaking of l*lis have you ever seen twitter people get into fights about what is a l*li? its really funny. i mean the l*licons#actually wait im also confused. is l*li a relative aesthetic or a concrete aesthetic?#like if i draw in a more cute style and i draw one girl even cuter are they all l*lis or is only that one a l*li?#wait. i shouldnt make fun of that discourse. im also ???????????#every time i try to judge i always get put back in my place#thats how i gained 90% of my interests so just gotta stop so i can stop taking Ls#“who would ever be into this kink” me. me 2 days after saying that. SHUT UP. STOP SAYING THINGS#some words#i only censored l*li because last time i remember it was a banned tag here?#i forgor#i dont live here
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sally acachalla is a complex character and shes also veryvery fun to draw. shes so "fake" in a coping mechanism age regression way but also genuinely enjoys the things and people she seems to shes just a lot deeper than she lets on... i dont think she's secretly like smart or anything just capable of emotional maturity sometimes. i think she genuinely isnt very good at literacy but she does fully know what death is. yknow. also she has moar swagger than all ur favs combined!!!!
#sorry if anything i said about age regression is inaccurate or offensive please let me know if thatz the case!!#i dont really consider myself an age regressor and i dont think i know anyone who does#but i do know enough about it that u definitely thing thats whats going on with sally. lore says its becauze of a zombie disease#but i say its a coping mechanism for her trauma with the zombie apocalypse and also seeing her family die and get killed by casket and etc#anyways i've read her page so many times i dont like fandom wiki as a website but ppl usually do a good job writing the pages themselves#and the VT wiki is such a fun way to submerge yourself in the lore and the feeling without actually going back and watching the vids..#not that you shouldnt do that. once i download an ad blocker i will try to do so#anyways i just love overanalysing characters and her specifically shes so so cool and fucked up#enough rambling though im gonna have to tag this proper including all the ponies i put pictures of#venturiantale#venturiantale fanart#taleblr#images that are horrid to see and look at#sally acachalla#freddie acachalla#mlp#g3 mlp#g1 mlp#ik i made them a little bigger than they would actually be in her hands but i didnt feel like shrinking the pictures too much#jazz matazz#sew-and-so#baby tiddley-winks#strawberry scoops#hopefully all those names r odd enough that i dont have to clarify like mlp strawberry scoops#im running out of tag space#anyways. sally post#mspaint
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
ohmygodddddd i am a fucking genius...👁️ the fic idea i just came up with. the Specific Line i thought up. its such a random idea but its so so cute and sweet and ugh its gonna plague me forever. kinda proud of myself to be honest so lets just hope i can Actually write it soon🧎
#mmm brain isnt always bad sometimes i guess.#its some unapologetic jake fluff btw#bc he deserves it#also i forgot i cant really spend time on tumblr today bc ill be busy again lol so tomorrow it is (hopefully)#but its gonna be a good day bc me and my bestie are going to see love lies bleeding And immaculate together😋😋#and probably get some lunch and maybe ice cream too#excited#have been looking forward to today#and then after today im looking forward to finally crawling back into my little tumblr cave#hopefully i can Actually Read.#and yk. writing would be nice too.#also im goin back on sertraline today and apparently it can be used for ocd too so i will try to see if any of That feels different as well#raaaaaa#still havent fully researched ocd tho🧎ive been procrastinating🧎as i do🧎#anyways goodnight its 5am.#shouldnt have had that 8pm iced capp#i downed that shit fr#ok bye bye love yall#talkin shit#FUCK YES THIS POSTED LIKE ON THE VERY SECOND 5:15 WAS ENDING YESSS#sorry i actually like am distressed when the minute(s) of my posts arent posted on a 0 or 5 or like the same as the previous number#and when it is i feel like actual relief and joy#and when it isnt i contemplate deleting and waiting until the desired minute to post again.#anddd sometimes i actually do.#i also will just wait several minutes to post something when its not the exact minute i want yet#or ill queue it for like. literally a couple minutes in the future.#yeah i have many issues#okay gn thank you for reading if you read🧍🫶#i always either suck my own dick or beat my own ass.#rarely ever is there an in between
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
kevinvytr-blog
thirty-two ribs and darkness
designbuildmagazine
Design Build Magazine
vulgar-mary-p-ppins
Deep Fried Art Vibes
warstarted
start a war
thunderbitz
Thunder Bitz