#also this is Cecil's depression arc and it shows
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What the heck happened to Kevin?
-straps you in against your will- (it's long and I'm not sorry lol)
tl;dr: Kevin isn't an purely evil antagonist (at least not the entire way through the show). He did found the religion surrounding a Smiling God but no longer controls the version of it in NV. He did not found Strex. Strex did use the religion to control people and Kevin had some importance because of his standing. Kevin lies to us and himself but his tone and other things betray the truth. Charles might be good for him actually because of this??? More Kevin please.
WTNV is a great podcast because it highlights a truth about stories that people forget: protagonist just means 'the person whose point of view the story is in' and not 'the good guy'. Nor does having a protagonist who is good necessitate a continuous and obvious antagonist.
When Kevin is our protagonist we get the same unreliability we get with Cecil, but Kevin's brainwashing is overt and obvious whilst Cecil's is a subtle result of his upbringing in a conservative place like NV.
So just who is Kevin of Desert Bluffs? What are his ties to Strex? Ep.73 gives us the context we were terribly lacking during the Strex Arc.
Ep.73 - Past Kevin: “Strexcorp? That faux-friendly big business corporate monster? Don’t talk to me about them. Strexcorp is the worst. […] I actually tried to stop them from buying it! I tried very hard. I put my own body, this fragile thing, in between the Strex representatives and the entrance to the building but they forced their way past me using ethically brutal methods that left me forever physically changed."
Future Kevin: "Oh, what StrexCorp and their Smiling God did to my wonderful little town. What they did to me. I’m not myself anymore. I’m a smile, and a twitch of the wrist. It has been years, Cecil. I’ve drifted away from myself. Sometimes I am one me, and then again I am the other. What they did to the sentient heat trapped temporarily in my body."
In this episode, a Kevin before Strex has any power in my opinion doesn't have any reason to lie to Cecil about his involvement in Strex, unreliable narrator or no. He also emotes differently in the further-past, having a genuine flare of annoyance at the mention of Strex. He simply does not talk like this at all later on when Strex is in power. Something changed. And if he were lying about hating Strex to stay on Cecil's good side, why mention this? -
Ep. 73 Past Kevin: [...]You know they’ve been trying to buy the radio station? Can you imagine how awful that would be? They’d probably try to take me off the air, and replace me with someone else. Or, worse, try to change my personality completely. Oh! I would never let that happen[...]"
That is...basically what seems to have happened to him. In his 'present' form (which is really more of a recent past version of himself) during this episode when Cecil talks about Night Vale and Strex, Kevin happily talks about Strex despite Cecil again clearly not being happy about it. He shows no need to side with Cecil's opinion here because he's under Strex himself now.
As an aside, Kevin also states he's never heard of NV in the further-past whilst his recent-past self during that episode and his first appearances in the Strex Arc do know what NV is but has never been there. This is either an oversight by writers or a different Kevin or he just genuinely hadn't heard of NV then.
In the future, he once more speaks of how awful Strex was when they hurt his town and once more, in my opinion, has no reason to deny his involvement especially when he's been isolated for years and is clearly depressed and miserable and has nothing to lose.
Also, with dubious-canon, there is this from a patreon listener questions session:
Kevin: “So I smile over and over until the version of me in the mirror stops smiling along and starts looking scared and exhausted and then sits on the edge of the tub, muttering about the life he used to have before Strex got a hold of him.”
Which could be like, a literal alternate Kevin he can see through a mirror or just Kevin pretending it's just a mirror version of himself whilst it's actually him feeling negative emotions/effects of trauma he doesn't want to admit having.
And during the podcast, there are hints that something terrible did happen in DB which could have been Strex's takeover and which Kevin (by his tone more than his words) has been negatively affected by. For the life in me I cannot remember the exact episodes to quote it, but I think they're early episodes. The gist is that he mentions an 'incident' that 'some of them never woke up from again' during which Intern Vanessa died.
All of this evidence cannot be ignored. We can say with some certainty that the Kevin we hear the most from started out as a man who was ordinary by whatever ordinary in DB ever was, and was taken in and changed by Strex.
It also can't be ignored that later episodes and It Devours! increase Kevin's involvement in both Strex and the worship of the Smiling God, at least in theory.
But some of it just never sits right with me. In particular, this quote:
Ep. 137: “The mayor and I have been close for a long time. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I think our more difficult times were back when we used to run a company together. We had some typical disagreements over who was in charge. She thought because she was the president of the company, she should have final say on all decisions. Whereas I knew that I was one of the Smiling God’s chosen prophets, and our all-loving devourer would not choose a prophet who made mistakes.”
There's...inconsistency here that I can't ignore. Lauren was promoted from executive to vice-president as of episode 49. She was never promoted to president in our timeline. Also, Kevin only states that he should have more power than her because of his Smiling God connections, not because he was actually important in the company.
But did that hold merit, or did it only hold merit to him? Lauren is not in agreement during these later All Smiles' Eve to Mudstone Abyss episodes. And why not? Just because Strex was using the Joyous Congregation to help control DB (theocracy and capitalism do go hand in hand!) doesn't mean that Kevin had any real power BUT it may have led him into thinking he did. If he really did i.e. was Strex's founder or something and they were really fighting about it, he could easily have demoted or fired her. It wouldn't have been difficult.
Strex does not mind 'disappearing people' when necessary and there's no reason we can see for Kevin to have special affection for Lauren. They have a tumultuous relationship at best. If she had no power over him, he would have always treated her with the same disposability and control he does when he runs Desert Bluffs Too.
It Devours! ch 8: “You see, our prophet Kevin found an old oak door[...]"
We never really get to see how Kevin reacted to being in the desert otherworld after Old Oak Doors. But I theorise the reason he was able to start building so fast was because he had, genuinely, already been there and brought back a religion revolving around a Smiling God with him. (The book is new though, he's been in the desert otherworld ten or more years compared to NV time which is plenty of time to write it and get it sent back).
And what about the religion surrounding a Smiling God?
The nature of the Smiling God and what it is is...difficult. Kevin mentions in All Smiles' Eve and the Mudstone Abyss that the religion has been around since he was a child. He says he's celebrated All Smiles' with his family, and that he's dreamed of creating the MSA since being little. If we're taking this as truth, then if Kevin founded the religion he founded it as a child. Or he's lying. Again.
But also there isn't just one Smiling God. It's always referred to as a Smiling God (in the podcast at least), not the. Dana sees a Smiling God which is just a vast light and it's this which is dangerously trying to get into NV through the Old Oak Doors. But also, Kevin writes about a giant centipede as if it were a Smiling God (the movements of such a creature is also observed by either Dana or Carlos, I forgot I'm sorry ;; ) but only Pastor Munn/Gordon know about Kevin's book on the centipede and believe in that version of a Smiling God.
It was genuinely not known by other congregation members, even those like Darryl who grew up with the religion and members who lived in NV previously. Kevin also once said that a Smiling God has teeth and a tongue, which neither a centipede nor a light have. Congregation members also question whether Huntokar is a Smiling God and softly admit they're not sure what a Smiling God is.
It Devours! shows us a differing interpretation of their religion from the side of Darryl and other 'ordinary' congregation members and those actually running/leading it and deciding what the regular members are and aren't allowed to know. It's clear that it's very much like a cult at that point. But was it always? The Joyous Congregation exists happily without Kevin there to guide it and even after learning the weirder and more negative aspects of it they choose which version they like the best and follow that instead. Could the religion had also started out differently? Different ideals? Different ideas of what a Smiling God was? What did Strex influence in it, if at all? Is the version followed by NV citizens before any DB interference different too?
Kevin definitely hides things to show everyone (even himself) only the best things. (That's why Charles' has the potential to be really good for him, I get that now lol). But I don't get the vibes of 'mastermind perfectly in control of himself' from the man who was too brutally honest about his hatred of pasta salad and said this:
ep. 73 'recent past' Kevin: "I remember being a real grumpster, just a grouch and a half about everything! [...] But Strex bought out my radio station, and everything changed for the better. [...] Once Strex entered my life and showed me the power of the Smiling God, why, nothing was the same for me ever again! I felt so much happier. I did terrible things. I felt so much happier! I tore and bit and growled…I felt so incredibly happy! My skin rent, blood drops on the ceiling, someone’s throat in my hand! So deliriously happy!"
And he sounds a bit delirious whilst recounting this. Kevin's tone only ever changes when experiencing something genuine and that is not often.
So what do I think? I think that WTNV is written as socio-political commentary and Kevin reflects that. He is made to represent the influences a theocratic-capitalist society has on a person. He is made to be complex, and not just 'simply evil'.
Maybe there are many Kevin's we are hearing from even when we aren't made aware of such (but this feels like a cop out) and thus many Strex's and many religions surrounding a Smiling God.
But most likely:
DB was a mirror or close enough of NV. Kevin and Cecil were very similar pre-Strex. Strex was directly established in DB. Kevin spent some time in the Desert Otherworld and either discovered people there who already worshipped/observed the vast light which is a Smiling God which exists there or founded such a group of people based on others already lost there (evidence is found by Dana of there once being a civilisation doing such worship in the desert otherworld).
He brought that knowledge back with him and despite it being incomplete/not very solid/based mostly on his own interpretations, the religion really took off in DB and either dripped a bit to NV or the NV version is what created the otherworld version when some of them got lost in the dog park and ended up there. Anyway, Kevin becomes pretty important because of this.
Strex adopted that religion, changing it to suit them as they saw fit and even adopting it's triangle symbolism into their company logo, and used it to gain more power over DB and it's citizens so they could take total control (they also canonically invented control collars...).
Strex beat down and brainwashed Kevin but kept him in his job because people already looked to him as a prophet of a Smiling God. It works like this for years, with belief in a Smiling God becoming a mandatory part of the StrexCorp regime and Kevin himself still having some influence over it. He incorrectly believed this gave him power over StrexCorp and it's employees too. He would fight with Lauren about this and she was actually the one in the right hence why she never gets reprimanded, but also why she can't get rid of Kevin without destabilising the control they have.
The Strex Arc for NV happens. Kevin is returned to the desert otherworld and does research on a giant creature he sees there and mistakes(?) it for a different form of a Smiling God. He finds a way to send this book back, and since time works differently in NV (i.e. many years have passed in the desert otherworld but not in NV) the book looks 'old-ish'. Pastor Munn only shared the book with Gordon and they change the religion subtly based on what they gleam from it. This may or may not have been Kevin's intention as it seems more like general notes or even scientific research (gasp!) than any kind of dogma.
Kevin continues to believe and insist on his own version of events, maybe even to help him through his trauma, and eventually gets to live out his fantasy of control by running Desert Bluffs Too. He has a small religious crisis during this time (canon, mentioned during the All Smiles'-Mudstone Abyss arc), likely because neither the vast light nor the centipede he assigned a Smiling God nor any other version he imaged seems to be in the desert otherworld any more. Charles enters the picture and starts to challenge Kevin's perceptions of his own importance, what is correct emotional regulation and what his religion might actually mean. He has all but forgotten Strex at this time, but is unable or unwilling to look back on those times as completely negative especially because his religion (which he very well likely founded) became so linked with the company.
More Kevin please.
#wtnv#welcome to night vale#wtnv meta#long post#wtdb#welcome to desert bluffs#kevin of desert bluffs#a smiling god#strexcorp
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this may sound a little harsh but honestly I have disdain for anyone who seriously compares/conflates the magnus archives and welcome to night vale beyond a surface level. like ... sure ... they're both speculative audio drama, set in a world that slightly deviates from ours in ways that can be unsettling, have a work-related framing device, are about a queer guy with a strong personality.
but. tma is straight up horror. whether you personally think it's scary or not, its purpose is to be a collection of spooky stories that will creep you out and/or make you think about the nature of fear and why and how certain things scare people, and how both the emotion of fear itself and the ways people capitalizing on other people's fears affect both the characters and the listener. (yes, it has an overarching plot, but even at the end when the plot is at its most important -- during season 5 -- the core of the regular episodes is a self-contained scary story).
welcome to night vale is a very different story. the "horror" elements are always grounded in either comedy or social commentary. tma dips into social commentary occasionally (eg with the lonely symbolizing depression), but, I'd argue, not with a ton of intentionality. and it's absolutely not a comedy. wtnv, regardless of whether you personally think it's funny, is. the comedy comes either from pure absurdity or from the juxtaposition between tone and subject matter (the way cecil almost always delivers dire news in a chipper tone, versus the way he talks about seemingly ordinary things and events, like librarians or valentine's day, in a grim, foreboding way).
wtnv is also chock-full of incisive satire. follow the arc of desert bluffs, as an example -- while it starts out in absurdism ("kill your double"), it then turns to anti-corporate/anti-fascist commentary (the year 2 arc), then pivots to be about xenophobia, specifically the way minority religious and ethnic communities are demonized by the majority for atrocities perpetuated by an elite few at the top (years 3-4 iirc), and eventually ends up in a hopeful place of peaceful coexistence. there's also a ton of other stuff -- the ineffectual, monolithic city council, the sheriff's secret police, the vague yet menacing government agency, angels as people who "don't exist" legally and the implications of that, night vale's hostility toward "interlopers," etc, etc. and, hell, wtnv even has its own poignant exploration of depression ("being stuck in the mud," I wanna say year 4 or 5). sure, it's occasionally creepy or scary, but the main thrust of the series is not to scare you or to explore the nature of fear. it's to explore various social issues through a lens that is absurd -- either in a funny way, or in an unsettling way, or in a way that walks a fine line between.
finally, a slightly tangential point that might also piss people off, but fuck it, I'm including it anyway -- I get annoyed when people compare tma and wtnv in terms of representation/imply that tma is somehow more progressive than wtnv just because it's newer/that wtnv is somehow outdated in its representation. objectively, wtnv has a very strong track record when it comes to being thoughtful about diversity and inclusion, especially in matters of race. for instance, very early in the show's run, when fink and cranor decided to make carlos a much bigger character, they recast his va to be dylan marron, a latino man (it was previously a bit part taken by cranor iirc). they even made up an in-universe explanation for why his voice had changed. since then, they've cast multiple vas of color to play characters of color (tamika, dana, josie, kevin, basimah, michelle, etc) which is far from standard practice both in podcasts and in animation. few other widely loved/well funded podcasts take the care to do this (a few smaller ones, like caravan and desperado, actually do, proving it's not a matter of money/resources but rather one of care and intention). I'm not saying wtnv is perfect in its handling of race and other sensitive topics, nor am I saying that tma is horrible at it (though I have seen some criticism leveled at it that I agree with). I'm just saying that to compare wtnv unfavorably to tma in terms of its handling of sensitive topics is just laughable and smacks of the fallacy that just because a show started airing in 2012, it has to be less progressive than shows coming out later.
anyway. thanks for indulging me if you read this far. stop lumping these two shows together </3
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@thevoiceofdesertbluffs new post cause the other one was too long
i personally believe everything in 73 was either a lie or a kevin from a non-primary timeline
you start with 70A. the way the episode is framed is meant to make it seem like carlos is going to leave cecil for kevin, and based on kevin's encouragement and later devastation, we can assume that's what kevin thought too. back when kevin just thought cecil was coming to live in the dow he was willing to try to get along (offering to share dbtcr), but then carlos leaves and.....
and then 3 episodes later kevin, for the first and only time, just accidentally taps into nvcr? and tells us a sob story?
which then gets followed up with an arc about how ex-desert bluffs citizens are discriminated against in night vale and cecil slowly turning around to trust smiling god worshipers and see them as full citizens
only for the joycon "from the future" to send kasper to try to take over the town again?
from the future like how dbt's time moves ten times faster?
i think the whole thing was a plot by kevin to get cecil and the town to lower their guard so he could attack them again.
in my opinion there is far more evidence that kevin has been running the show while trying to put up a mask of innocence.
yes there are loose ends in my theory, im ok admitting that. like in the patreon q&a kevin alludes to being depressed over how he was treated by strex. but even so, he also said that in strex you could get promoted by killing your manager. so it's entirely possible that kevin, who cannot die, just killed his way to the top, even if he had previously been a victim. he may have been forced to join but that doesn't mean he cant play to win.
i think theories that say kevin was 100% a victim the entire time and didnt gain freedom or autonomy until dbt don't take into consideration things like pastor munn saying kevin founded the joycon or kevin saying he and lauren ran "a company" together and dont explain why the joycon would attack night vale again if there wasnt beef. maybe those theories do exist! i just havent seen them.
and! i also fully believe strex was a joycon-owned proxy company like quality cryogenics was. it explains to me how the joycon can be 40+ years old while strex was still buying db, even tho it only took strex a year to buy all of nv. and it explains how strex uses the logo of the centipedes hunting trail (centipede worship > joycon formation > strex founding).
so yeah. i think kevin just lies to divert attention so he can be the puppet master, much like how in dbt he's just a radio host and lauren's mayor, but kevin's the one telling lauren what to do. i think that's his mo, i think that's how it's always been
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i’ve been getting back into welcome to night vale and i’m
feeling things
i pretty recently got through the arc where carlos is in the desert otherworld and godDAMN is it fantastic. it reveals so much about both cecil and carlos. cecil’s priorities are really revealed because despite the general passive-observer vibe we get from just hearing him do his job every day he’s revealed to be such a sensitive guy who values human connections and his community above all else. there are so many episodes where he can’t shut up about carlos and that whole string of episodes where he’s trying to take a vacation to go visit him of course. on top of that though we see that he goes into a sort of depressive state when he can’t be around the people he loves. it’s only ever broken when he spends time with his family (well, at least janice FUCK steve carlsburg) or his friends like diane crayton and earl harlan.
meanwhile carlos has his scientific interest piqued over in the desert otherworld which is something we always knew about his character but it comes out so exuberantly in all of his excited voicemails to cecil about his findings. he’s SO into all of the science that he seems to temporarily forget about all the things that connect him to his new home in night vale. the way he calls it “maybe the most scientifically interesting community i’ve ever seen” is fucking crushing because all the listener wants is for him to be back in night vale. it’s also kind of adorable though because he’s essentially just getting hyper fixated on all the new things to be discovered!! new details of his character are revealed too! when we see him without cecil it’s revealed that carlos has a burning desire to take care of people. we could’ve inferred that from all the times he saved the people of night vale but watching him worry over the soldiers from the wandering desert army and beg them to rest and stop going to war really sets that trait in stone. all of it adds up to show that carlos is an INTENSELY passionate character, his passion for science is only ALMOST rivaled by his compassion for other people and it’s adorable.
the only love carlos has that’s strong enough to tear him away from his new little community in the desert otherworld is his love for cecil which is what makes them such a perfect couple. he’s reminded of how much cecil means to him when cecil finally gets to visit on vacation, they spend some quality time together and just a few episodes later carlos is back in night vale!! and there’s a line he says that goes something like, “your home is in night vale, i understand that now. and my home is with you!” and like damn if that doesn’t just sum it all up 🥺 even a community MORE scientifically interesting than night vale wasn’t enough to keep carlos away from cecil anyway i’m cry.
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in no particular order whatsoever, I present you some good queer media: ((very minor spoilers for some things))
- black sails! it's a series, 4 seasons, 30 something episodes total, I haven't watched it yet but someone just recommend it to me and it sounds amazing. they're pirates, it's got a lot of queer characters, characters of color, and it deals (really fucking well, from what I heard) with topics of racism, misogyny, cissexism, poverty and how all of these relate and how systems oppress marginalized people and a bunch of other stuff. there's also at least two different poly relationships (a triad and a V). also it's got legit really fucking good writing, like legit legit good.
- the penumbra podcast!! I have listened to this one and it's a fucking masterpiece. it's got two main storylines; the first one (Junoverse) is a noir detective type but it's in Mars in the future (with a non-binary he/him bisexual lady as a main character and it deals (really well) with a lot of mental health issues, mainly depression) and it turns into space pirates in the third season and I think there's only one canon cis/straight person in the whole thing everyone else is queer and the other main storyline (Second Citadel) is more classic fantasy knights and monsters with a lot of questions of morality and "what's really a monster" and a poly relationship (and scaley monsterfuckers) and honestly a lot of queer characters
- Welcome To Night Vale!! I feel like this would be right up your street, honestly. it's a podcast, it follows a radio show from this town, Night Vale, where a lot of really weird supernatural shit happens, and the radio host, Cecil telling us (the town) about what's up. it's really fun and weird, it's not scary at all if that's a concern, it's very explicitly queer (in the very first episode Cecil falls in love with a man and tells the whole town about it) and it depicts a very healthy gay couple and great character development and it's honestly really fun, you get to know a lot of the townfolk and their stories and it's great
- The Adventure Zone! it's an actual play podcast, the McElroy brothers (you may know them?) and their dad play d&d. they just finished their third campaign and are starting the 4th one this week I think. the first campaign is by far my favourite. it starts kinda rough, they're playing dnd for the first time and the story and characters are pretty weak, but by the third or fourth arc you can tell how much they've learnt in the process. the fourth arc is where the story starts picking up and by the end (there's 69 (ha) episodes divided into 8 or 9 arcs) you'll be sobbing your eyes out for the last ten episodes. it's classic dnd fantasy stuff with at least three explicitly queer relationships (one of the main characters is gay and in a relationship) and w at least one explicitly trans character. it was their first time, they tried and did fairly well tbh. the second campaign is shorter, settled in modern real life Kepler, West Virginia where basically cryptids are real and the main three kill monsters in a monster of the week type of thing. (one of the main three is bi and in a queer relationship, there's one nb they/them character). and the third campaign just finished, it's real fun too, three college students of a heroes and villains school, in a (fantasy) world where heroes and villains are like A Thing and The System sucks and the message is basically to overthrow capitalism lmao
I swear I consume more media than just podcast but rn I just can't think of any...
also not exactly queer media but:
- Phineas and Ferb, it's a classic, you probably watched it on TV as a kid (I did) but it merits a rewatch
- Gravity Falls, same thing, I'm still not over how fucking good this show is
- Steve Universe, I know things got heated up in the fandom at some point but I ignored the fuck out of everyone and enjoyed it anyways because it's good
- how to train your dragon, they're all good okay, they are, watch them again
- Big Mouth. you're like 15 right? you can watch big mouth, I highly recommend it, it's really good. it's for some queer characters but they're even the main focus of some episodes/storylines, but it doesn't even matter, the whole series is just really good.
- Megamind, it's probably better than you remember
- also, you're into star trek right? have you watched discovery? I haven't watched s3 yet but it's good
I went completely off the rails halfway through this but still, hope you check out some new thing!! (and if you do post about it, I wanna know) (also can you guess who I am? I feel like it's kinda obvious sjsksk)
- j
Thank you!!! I really like WTNV, and I've been meaning to watch/listen to those other ones! And I never actually watched Phineas and Ferb, but I've heard it's good. Gravity Falls and Steven Universe are both on my list! And I hella hyperfixated on HTTYD in sixth grade. Megamind is amazing!!!!! And I sadly can't watch Disco cuz I don't have Paramount+, but I wish I could!
And surprisingly I can't guess who you are but that's probably due to me being a dumbass who can't really tell typing styles apart
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4, 18, 29, 49
4) What is your favourite genre to write for?
I do really well in slice of life, but I also enjoy just tearing people’s hearts out.
18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?
I have a few abandoned, and a few on indefinite hiatus. The only abandoned-abandoned ones off the top of my head are Welcome to Night Vale--the show started getting ahead of me, and the fandom started going even more insane than usual. I just kinda noped out after someone called me racist for saying “Cecil’s middle and last names are Jewish names, what if he’s Jewish?” (A year later, I was fucking vindicated by canon. But by then it was too late.)
On indefinite hiatus are Just How to Be (due to getting anon hate and death threats for shipping KunZoi and not liking Sailor Moon Crystal), The Crystal Tokyo Chronicles (same reason), and two of my Yu-Gi-Oh spinoff fics, both for very painful reasons. Exit The Labyrinth suffered from being all in a single, un-backed-up document about 200 pages long. If you think this is headed into “Nina what did you do oh my g-d” territory, you are 100% right. The fic I’d spent eight years working on was accidentally deleted and unrecoverable. I’ll get back to it eventually--I still know the plotline--I just . . . . you know.
As for Forget-Me-Nots, well, if you were reading it, you’re going to want to scroll really, really fast until you see all caps. See, the plotline of Forget-Me-Nots included a not-yet-revealed world backstory in which it turns out Reagan wasn’t able to de-escalate the Cold War, and the US and Russia bombed each other in 1986. There were two bombs Russia-bound and three that headed for the US, but only one arrived; the other two never made it out of Russian airspace. The one that hit the US was off by about a thousand miles, and rather than hitting DC, it landed smack in the middle of Kentucky. Both nations decided to immediately cover this up--Russia out of embarrassment, the US because “oh shit we were actually hit” would be fucking terrible for morale. Given the state of communications in Soviet Russia, it was actually pretty easy to make the nuclear survivors “disappear,” and ensure nobody who knew the truth was leaving the country. Duel Monsters wasn’t just an I2 production--it was strategically released to provide a distraction. Hawk's birth mother was one of the US survivors, and Johann’s entire modus for stuff like having a special deck is because he’s being groomed as part of reclamation efforts that nobody can actually know are happening.
You can see why, following the election of the malevolent tangerine, my desire to work on this story plummeted into the negatives.
WELL THAT WAS NICE AND DEPRESSING LET’S DO ANOTHER QUESTION SHALL WE
29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?
G-d, yes. I really wish more people appreciated what pieces of the Crystal Tokyo Chronicles actually exist. Even though I haven’t written on it in a couple of years, it’s one of my favorites.
49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?
No. That was over twenty(!) years ago. But I do remember a fic I read around the same time as that fic, and it left me fucking astounded at what someone could do with words, and is probably one of the reasons I write today.
It was a Sailor Moon fic, set during the Dark Kingdom arc, in between Episodes 35 and 36. Beryl is growing tired of Mamoru resisting Metalia’s power, and makes him a deal: if he can prove that he truly is Endymion, and that Usagi actually really misses him, he can go home. He has 24 hours to seal this deal, and the proof required is that she has to shed one single tear for him. If he can’t do it, and he won’t submit to Metalia, well . . . there’s always the Zoisite Solution.
So he reappears on Earth. It turns out he can follow Usagi everywhere, but she can’t see him or interact with him, and he can’t actually touch anything. He follows her to school, where she’s in the process of bombing an algebra test. He makes some comment like “come on, that’s easy, you do X, didn’t you just learn this?” and she writes down the answer he just gave. Never cries. He follows her to the arcade. Nothing. Follows her home. Nada. She heads for what he assumes is her room, and he follows. Turns out it’s the bathroom, and she’s getting ready for her evening shower--so he leaves. Still nothing. He sits there all night, willing her to cry in her sleep. No such luck. Morning comes, he’s desperate by now, and she still seems as bright and cheerful as ever. Does she just not care? Did she actually hate him? Was three weeks enough for her to forget?
. . . . and he gets drawn back to the Dark Kingdom, where he hears Beryl’s laughter.
And then the fic cuts to Usagi getting her test back. She got full marks. She looks at the question she struggled with and bursts into tears: “He was here. He was really here. I knew it.”
And it’s the first time she’s cried for him outside the shower, where nobody could see her.
End. Fic. Mic drop.
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92 truths
rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!
I was tagged by the lovely @andyoumattertome (Bigada!) <3
I’m gonna tag: @inloveamateursatbest. @tazza1993, @likesbeingmoved and @villagehusbands <3
LAST…
[1] drink: lemonade
[2] phone call: hum, i think it was my mum
[3] text message: uni colleague
[4] song you listened to: broken by lifehouse
[5] time you cried: a few days ago, because i was sleepy and when i’m sleepy i start to cry xp
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: no
[7] been cheated on: not that i know
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yeeees (it’s an embarrassing, but fun story)
[9] lost someone special: no
[10] been depressed: not really, i don’t think so. i’ve been sad, but not depressed.
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, way too many times, because my body doesn’t tolerate anything besides black vodka
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] black
[13] white
[14] red
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: yup!
[16] fallen out of love: nope
[17] laughed until you cried: no, this doesn’t happen to me xp
[18] found out someone was talking about you: nope
[19] met someone who changed you: nah,i don’t think so
[20] found out who your true friends are: yes, but i’ve always known, i just had the confirmation
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nope
GENERAL…
[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: none xp
[23] do you have any pets: no, thank god for that
[24] do you want to change your name: not my first, but if i could i’d get rid of my second name
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i think i went to the cinema with friends. i’m also not a big fan of birthdays
[26] what time did you wake up: 7h30 :’(
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: today
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i wasn’t as lazy as i am
[31] what are you listening to right now: nothing
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: no, it’s not a common name here in portugal
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: notps, haters, when people don’t listen to me, characters/people that i hate, characters being shoe-horn into my favourite characters arcs
[35] elementary: if i’ve finished it? yup, long time ago
[36] high school: i’ve finished it 5 years ago
[37] college: studying civil engeneering right now
[38] hair colour: my natural hair clour is dark brown,but yesterday i dyed it blond, so now it’s a light brown.
[39] long or short hair: something in between
[40] do you have a crush on someone: right now? nope
[41] what do you like about yourself?: my morals, the fact that i’m a good friend and person, i’m funny and I'm the most distracted person you'll ever meet xp
[42] piercings: yup, in my ears.
[44] nickname: sissi, si, cecil,...
[45] relationship status: single
[46] zodiac sign: aries
[47] pronouns: she/her
[48] fav tv show: grey’s anatomy (season 1-3), game of thrones, friends, hart of dixie, how to get away with murder,...
[49] tattoos: nope, but one day i might have one
[50] right or left handed: right
FIRST…
[51] surgery: i’ve never had any surgery
[52] piercing: my ears
[53] best friend: the same one i’ve got since i was a baby, basically
[54] sport: football? but i’m terrible at any sport
[55] vacation: out of the country? london in 2009
[56] pair of trainers: i dunno
RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: i don’t know how its called in english, but napoleão
[58] drinking: tea
[59] i’m about to: watch hart of dixie
[60] listening to: nothing
[61] waiting for: this week to be over, tbh :p
[62] want: nothing in particularly... wait, for aaron and robert to be happy xp
[63] get married: it’s not in my list of priorities, but one day
[64] career: civil engeneering
WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: kisses ( i don’t like to be hugged xp)
[66] lips or eyes: eyes, always
[67] shorter or taller: taller.
[68] older or younger: older
[69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: both? :p
[71] sensitive or loud: neither, lol
[72] hook up or relationship: relationship, i’m a relationship kind of girl
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker. i’ve done hesitant, not fun
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? yes, unfortunately (it’s the fun, but embarrassing story xp)
[75] drank hard liquor? i don’t think so?
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? nope
[77] turned someone down: yup
[78] sex on first date? nope, but i’m not against it
[79] broken someone’s heart? yes, i was young :/
[80] had your own heart broken? nope
[81] been arrested? nope.
[82] cried when someone died? yes.
[83] fallen for a friend: nope
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? i think so
[85] miracles? nope.
[86] love at first sight? nope
[87] santa claus? nope.
[88] kiss on the first date? yes, why not? :p
[89] angels? nope
OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: MMRRCL (i have 6 best friends xp)
[91] eye colour: brown
[92] favourite movie: the dark knight rises, winter soldier, empire of the sun, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, shawshank redemption
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I never played the games and I saw yesterday that Otoya's father is actually Shining (yeah I'm very late in the news), I'm shocked lmao do you know if the games have other important info the anime didn't show?
Oh my, where do I even start… Tbh, the anime is the tip of the iceberg of what Utapri has to offer, plot-wise. Really, the games have lots of content and potential even if Broccol doesn’t explore it but lol what can we do. I highly suggest you to look up some reviews of the game routes so that you can get the most of it, details etc, it’s really interesting. Overall, I’ll just throw the basics under the Read More ^^
Otoya - One of the charas with the most complicated story arc that Broccoli forgets to bring up even though everyone is interested in. His mom (Kotomi) is a composer, just like Haruka, and she used to be Shining’s partner (music and love-wise), but when he had to choose over career or love, he chose career and left her. He didn’t know that she was pregnant though, so she had a son (Otoya) on her own. She suffered a plane crash though, and everyone assumed she was dead. He was raised by his aunt until she died and he went on an orphanage. In the games, he lowkey knows that Shining is his dad, but he doesn’t talk to him about it (I wouldn’t either lol tbh Shining is an ass for knowing that Otoya is his son later and still leaving him on an orphanage when he could be raising the boy but ok).
Cecil - Yeah, so you know the thing about the plane crash and everyone assuming Kotomi was dead? Well, turns out she wasn’t! She actually ended up in Agnapolis, but suffered amnesia and forgot everything. The king and her eventually fell in love with each other and then they had Cecil (yes, he’s Otoya’s half bro). However, ppl in the island were xenophobic af and hated japanese people, so Kotomi went back to Japan to avoid those weirdos who wanted her away (or dead), but Cesshi stayed bc he’s the heir after all. But his uncles or smth didn’t consider him a true heir bc he’s half-japanese, so they turned him into a cat with a magic spell and sent him back to Japan :/ There he met Haruka and her songs brought him back to human form again :) which means he’s still the heir lol @ his relatives try harder.
Masa - basically his mom was weak on health when he was younger, and he had to take care of everything, including his little sister Mai (she’s cute and he makes stuffed animals to her from time to time as gifts even after becoming an idol). His dad is a bitch on the games OK. That servant that appeared, Jii - everyone who played the games hates him. To represent my feelings on him while playing Repeat, I made this little art piece hope u appreciate:
In the anime Mai pretty much disappeared, but in the games she’s still there, so she’s the reason why Masa is still avoiding his dad and the duty of becoming the heir, because he knows he can’t get disowned, since his sister will be the next in the line and forced to do things bc of that. He loves her a lot, so this is why he doesn’t do it.
Natsuki - If I remember well, he was raised in France until he was 5?? My memory on this is kinda bad. His parents have a farm and this explains why he loves animals so much. His arc was Satsuki, and once he disappeared, everything became a filler (which is very sad, he’s such a good chara;;). Also he and Syo didn’t know each other when they were kids.
Tokiya - Ok so I know many Tokiya stans are super hardcore and know every little thing about him, so if I mess up I’m really sorry ;_; my memory isnt that good ok, but I’ll try my best. Tokiya’s dad never liked the idea of him becoming an idol, and when he decided to continue to go after his dream, his dad left him and his mom. He and Shining knew each other before bc they worked together on something that I forgot rn, while he was HAYATO. Shining noticed that he felt very unhappy and offered him help (and a chocolate cake, which was cute). Tokiya denied until he broke down and admitted that his life was shit, so Shining helped him.
Ren - Tbh his story isn’t much different from the anime and what it said. He’s the 3rd son, feels useless, he and Masa knew each other since they were kids, etc. Oh, and he doesn’t like chocolates. Since he was born on Valentine’s Day, everyone offered him chocolate to the point that he couldn’t stand it anymore, because he felt that he had to eat every chocolate that ppl offered in gratitude lol. He does like bitter chocolate though.
Syo - @ anime when will you quit playing games with us and BRING KAORU TO THE ANIME BYE. Ok so he has a twin brother (mentioned in the anime). What the anime doesn’t mention is that he has a heart condition, and if he gets too excited and stuff, his heart starts to freak out. Doctors didn’t even expect him to survive past 10yo or something. He hated himself for being so weak and short, but seeing Ryuuya on TV motivated him. He started learning how to fight and decided to become an idol to get closer to him. He survived past doctors’ expectations, despite of the odds. Kaoru studies medicine bc he wants to be a doctor and help Syo, and people in the same condition. Kaoru also feels kinda guilty for being healthier and taller despite being the youngest twin. Their father is a stylist in Shining’s Agency, and their mother is an orchestra conductor if I’m not mistaken. His heart condition was healed in Utapri Repeat through a surgery.
Reiji - has sister and mom, and they own a restaurant. Studied at Shining Academy like the members above ^^^. While he was there, he met Aine and 2 other guys, and they became friends. Reiji debuted with one of the friends as his composer, and Aine debuted with the other. They both became idols, but Aine fell in depression over the idol life, feeling lonely and empty, to the point where he tried to commit suicide. His last call was directed to Reiji, but he was busy working and didn’t answer. Aine was never seen again and assumed dead, so Reiji blames himself to this day. Their other 2 friends also blame him. He may look happy and all, but it’s pretty much a facade and he feels bad about it to this day.
Ranmaru - He used to be part of the Rich Kids Club™ with Ren and Masa, but his dad was betrayed and his family became bankrupt. His dad died because of stress, but Ranmaru assumed the debts in his place and worked his ass off to pay it. Since most of the bands he was in disbanded bc of girls, he’s kinda bitchy with females at first. Really likes cats. His hair is dyed and he uses a contact lenses to make one of his eyes to seem purple.
Ai - Hey, do you remember that Aine story? Turns out Aine didn’t die either! (never trust deaths in Utapri) He was saved from drowning by his uncle, but he got in coma. His uncle, a doctor/scientist, discovered that he refused to wake up because he was scared of the world and scared of feelings/love. His uncle then creates an android (Ai or A.I.) and connected their emotions. This way, Ai could discover more about the world and feelings, and show Aine that the world wasn’t that bad. Their voices and appearance are the same (poor Reiji), but they’re completely different people. Through music, Ai managed to wake up Aine, but freaked out later that he wouldn’t be useful anymore. The uncle/doctor reassured him that he was important and never meant as a replacement. So basically Aine is alive in Ai’s route, but not in Reiji’s route, and we may never even see him bc Broccoli is the best and wasting potential.
Camus - a count just like he loves to say. Serves the Silk Queen and really cares for her. Didn’t really have a childhood bc of training day and night to serve the queen, and his own family is full of his enemies, one trying to take down the other. His horse can be turned into a dog as well (named Alexander). He was sent to spy on Shining and to see if he could find some way to get magic and boost his queen’s magic bc it was almost gone. Cesshi almost married the queen bc.. Well, the queen needed magic and he had the muses, plus those bitches on Agnapolis wanted Cesshi away, so they arranged a marriage, but since Camus managed to get some magic (Haruka’s songs wow), it didn’t happen. He knows about Ranmaru’s past btw, and knows about the whole Shining-Kotomi thing (Silk Quen knows about it too).
THIS ACTUALLY BECAME LONGER THAN EXPECTED OMG IM SORRY but really this is still not everything and there’s a lot more to explore from Utapri and the games/Drama CDs. Hope this helps you anyway!
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