#also once again sorry the pic is so blurry idk why | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreambook06 · 9 months

Text

Dream from: February 15, 2015

God dang dreams. The heck... why do you do this to me? okay so here is my dream. It's 8:16 am in the morning, Monday, no school. I just woke up. The whole time, this dream felt like a strange real life, Sorry about handwriting, tired. ok here we go because I'm already starting to forget what happened. So basically, I got out/appeared in some random field thing with mountains in the near distance, and there was a small-ish school. It looked like a thrift shop on outside. kind of and it was red. ok so then I went inside/it cutscened to me being inside. And I don't remember what happened then, as this was or must've taken place early on in my slumber... But.. oh yeah apparently I was a boy basically like Malcolm from malcolm in the middle and I was getting... no wait I got framed or something... I was reported by someone that I was in the back of a limo drinking beer or something and throughout this part of the dream it's just me trying to prove I'm innocent. Later on, now me in more real life form - so apparently there's going to be an indoor school carnival or fair thing tomorrow which is irrelevant as I ended up not going but I remember it for some reason... then this is kinda out of order and skipping around but ok: So we (random school people) were in a room (gymnasium?) and there's a huge window in front of where we're standing being lectured or something and then Santa flies past the window and I shout "Santa" loudly. I feel embarassed but I remember my "thing to live by #2 + #1" and soon Santa flies closer to the window and everyone shouts "santa!" so yeah wtf. There was also something about stars at night but I forgot (oh btw 2 nights ago I stargazed again, finally. pretty cloudy. I got a few tears but not much) so later... dang I remember a lot of things but they're too obscure to really remember and soon fade from my mind shoot! Remember - not quite in order!

ok so I guess I decided to go swimming wtf in a locker room pool & it was a small pool like 50 ft deep and oh yeah back up - first I was "spawned" in the next scene already deep underwater in a different pool as I struggled to get up. I think I was in the form of a jellyfish. weird & too blurry from my memory... I remember chucking a jellyfish back down once I reached the surface though. wat. Anyway, so I was at the edge of a pool oh yeah and naked for some reason (maybe it was supposed to be a bath, idk) and I just stood there throwing this pink blob (toy or creature? idk) thing which was squishy into the water, watching it sink and then resurface, springing out of the water, repeat. Few more times then on last time I didn't throw it down hard enough so it resurfaced slowly and didn't pop up so I couldn't reach it and left. Then walking out of the door (oh yea the pools were all in a row like rr stalls.) I didn't have clothes so I used my hands as best as possible. Idk where my clothes went wtf. So I was struggling. There was a person to my left and door leaving the room was open with people walking by in the hallway. A guy comes out too, same thing happened to him, so we're panicing, everywhere we look a person so we run, covering up, Trying to hide or something idk but we're just running down the way, then down to an arcade, I guess it is? Idk bg details. well we pass by Kerstin rae Kelly and she's like "cosette!" as I use the boy's body to cover myself up lol it was freaking weird and felt real... I really didn't want to go onto detail here let me just say I used him to cover up my backside well anyway then we hide underneath a blanket on the ground. There was a "game" under the blanket with animal pic on it and a number next to the animal... So the boy was like pick an animal to represent yourself" I picked a monkey and said because I'm ugly. He said lower numbers = cuter animals and the gibbon monkey thing had a 40. so I picked a lion which was a 300. wtf? So later I was just like "Whatever I can't take it anymore!" and left the hiding spot running super fast out a back door around the school house. I couldn't find my way back to the entry because of the growth everywhere and it looked the same everywhere you turn. ok.

Then cutscene. idk the rest oh yeah, and the boy then chased me (or I think so (I never saw him only heard him) so idk) up the stairs, now apparently a pag and shouted something at me, a pig pun using the word "hog" so wtf ok. Later on... more reality here, and this felt super real. The time of day jumps around a bit but this is the stuff I remember most... but forgetting as we speak so I have to hurry up!!! Now all these characters are from real life but entire school is way different. So... This involves Ms. Kral. I don't remember very beginning of this segment, but I was already in a sad mood because next year, Ms. Kral wasn't going to be my teacher. So hours later I was supposed to go to history class I guess, but apparently Ms. Kral was supposed to be teaching it and I opened the door, late, and take a nearby seat and there's a man in there yelling at Ms. Kral about not doing a good job with her students, some of which were Dominic, Peyton... etc. So he's saying stuff like "This place is worse than a prison cell" "You have our students in a prison!" "What Is wrong with you?" etc. Something about firing her n stuff. Mrs. Gordon is bending town taking to a student & glaring angrily at Mrs. Kral. Ms. Kral has little tears in her eyes. I could tell cause I was seated to the left of where she was standing. So the man (who looked like, or was, this sped teacher who works across the hall from her in real life) and he was just saying a ton of things, really well worded, and it was a yelling volume but the way he said them was under control.

then Ms. Kral just made a straight face and waited for him to finish then angrily tried to defend herself which came out all clumsy and she stumbled over her words and took a step towards him (nothing like real Mrs. Kral, who always has great and well-worded responces and comebacks) So guy got angry and quickened her "removal from students going into 10th grade" for 2 days. Weird punishment but: Dream logic. So later... I don't remember ok quickly back up: When the guy is insulting Kral he insults her brother, whose last name is "line", I think, and that's what caused the little tears. She quietly whispered his name, in a prayer-like manner because he's dead. she had his name written on the inside of her book bag she carries around. "line" wtf. Anyway so later on we're crying, back in her classroom. Or maybe that came later. first I think there was this guy who gave me a poster with Drago from Bakugan on it & I said "wow thanks!" Then wade from real life walks by And the guy gives this sphere thing to wade who was gone so the guy asks me to deliver it to him and I eventually give it to him. I make it to Ms. Kral's room and she's giving wade this space suit made of bones or something so he can float around easier wtf because he has trouble walking, which oddly enough is a recurring object from another dream.

Later... Memory dwindling shoot. Well during lunch I'm somewhere crying and somehow the time goes to 8:00 and I go to Ms Kral's room which looks like a living room and Brian is on the couch and I feel so sad that tomorrow she won't be my teacher (apparently she was my teacher 7 hours a schoolday, unlike real life) and I was so upset, I acted as if she was dying or something and I treated her like she was my own mother. It was just way different in the dream... memory fading... (it's 9:26 morning) well this goes on for a long time, this sorrow & pain feeling, and in real life I slightly come out of the dream and tears are on my eyes, I feel a tear form... back in the dream mode: There is way more to the Ms. Kral scenes than this btw, I just don't remember. So she's trying to comfort her student, telling them (including me) the'll be alright. I'm sobbing. She was the best, kindest, most interesting teacher in the school. We were only being relocated across the hall but it seemed like a big deal. So next morning, early, some ppl and I go into the new room and stuff and apparently there's 1 more day until it officially starts. so I sit down sad. my head just loses senses... idk.. Teacher at chalk board, I don't like him. Btw past night Brian and I just ended up sleeping the night on that couch w/ ms. kral and next morning when we woke, she was crying a lot and there were smashed ceramics and stuff on the floor... she was upset. So anyway, then later ms. kral was at the table with me/us and we were just talking about stuff. she was trying to reassure us it'd be okay. She stayed there for a long time.

Later this girl sitting behind me was looking at a calender or multiplication table and said "I have been counting numbers for hours" or "I can count for hours" and Ms. Kral and dominic were just like... They just accepted the challenge of counting nonstop. Next morning I came back (even tho it was the same day) & Ms. Kral was still siting there counting. I was like "have you been counting all night?" wtf. So later she's helping a student with HW and a book is open and she says "That's the tyrannosaurus constellation" and it's a picture of a carnotaurus. wtf.... then later she must leave back to her own class room & crying ensued (Dik where the heck the other teacher went. And when she leaves I'm just like on the floor crying on the corner, lifeless, just lying.... Teacher comes back a kid took my spot so I had to sit in front of this big mirror in the room. I was wearing my black jacket. I cross my arms put my head down and sob.... There was way more to the scene than this... but like I said forgetting by the seconds! ugh. Like we had these weird hall pass things or something or he put a lock on our electronics when we asked to go to the BR so we couldn't use them- oh wait that happened the next day. Lots of other things happened when Kral was in the classroom, but all I can really remember was the crying. so next day I'm late and I thought tone was gonna sound any min. so I like slid into the classroom, running in weightless leaps down the hall, I smash the door open, crashing into it, I jump into a chair which apparently is on wheels so I end up slowly spinning around on the chair and moving... It keeps going... I just freeze. I get a look around the classroom while spinning in same position. Everyone is just silent, the teacher has stopped lecturing.

You'd think it'd stop spinning by now. wtf so I end up getting off it and sulk awkwardly to the chair in the farthest back. all eyes on me. The room is packed for some reason, like 40+ students. Haley's there and sitting in the front. The teacher says "That's not your spot" I move over more to a seat with 2 shoes on it (wtf) He says it's taken so I move a spot to the left which only has 1 show on it and sit. My vision is blurry and I don't care about anything. I feel so sad I miss miss kral... And then I wake up. Real life. My cheeks are wet and my eyes are all teary. I remembered reality... dumb old classroom, I only see Kral 1.5 hours a day, but reality... at the end of this year, Kral will never be my teacher again realisation of that fact kicks in and more tears emerge. And here I am. Sorry that dragged on fro so long. It was way different in the actual dream and more dramatic/emotional. It must've been, because I got real life tears!!! I should just start a dream journal I've been having insane dreams lately and have my whole life. I should at least draw the locations & scenes out, sketch then as best as possible. Yes that is what I'll do. okay. the sketching part at least. ok it is 10:00 my wrist hurts!!!

#2015

0 notes

wikiangela · 3 years

Text

my thoughts as I was watching the episode (didn't feel like doing multiple posts, felt easier to do just one lol):

awww Dean has a dog 😍

Dean trying to make his bed cracked me up ngl

actually it's funny seeing them do such ordinary things lol

this dog is so cute I can't 😩😍😍

"Pie Fest" 😂 "this is my destiny" okay 🤣 so dramatic over pie, but that doesn't surprise me 😂

Sam THANK YOU for mentioning Cas (and Jack) 😭

Idk but I'm kinda loving that Dean's trying to live his life? "If we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" I mean that's true 🤔 (even though I'd love to see Cas back but not getting my hopes up)

pie in the face lol and Sam's laugh is so great haven't heard that in too long

(this post is gonna be long af 😂 it's been just 5 minutes hah)

"Singer and Kripke" aw cute

vamp-mimes cracks me up every time, even though I saw the sneak peak before 😂 and he's so serious when he says it hahaha

I cannot stress enough how I missed that about Dean

okaaay so vampires. cool.

is that the trenchcoat in the trunk? is it? it looks like it? IS IT? or am I just imagining things??!! I paused and I've been looking at it for like five minutes trying to figure out if it's the trenchcoat wtf (I mean would it even make sense? Cas was taken in that trenchcoat? unless he had a few? And, I mean, he had, right? it's all so blurry in my mind now, I need answers)

Sam, let Dean have fun for once, geez 🙄😂😂😂

I don't remember that girl (Jenny, was it?) (okay, I googled it, and I still don't remember her and what happened with her haha all I know is it was in season 1 so 💁‍♀️)

oh nevermind, she dead now (dead dead) so whatever

as soon as I saw the metal thingy (I'm an English major but somehow I can't remember what it's called in English or in my native language??) I knew what was gonna happen but...

NO DEAN BABY WHYYYYY 😭😭😭 he can't die like that noooooo

he's like, accepting that he's gonna die? omg I'm crying 😭😭😢

I'm literally sobbing right now and how is he dying its only been 20 minutes of the episodes what the fucking fuck how am I supposed to get through 20 more minutes

"don't leave me" omg Sammy 😭😭💔💔💔

"I can't do this alone"

"yes you can't"

"well, I don't want to"

where have I heard that before? 🤔😭😭💔

"I love you so much my baby brother" is that the first time Dean said that to Sam in the show? I'm pretty sure I don't remember him saying that before - and I am crying so hard I can barely see what I'm writing thank God for autocorrect 😅

nooo Dean 💔💔😭 my favorite character since the moment I saw him and now he's dead and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that and how am I supposed to just go about my day later this is the worst why are they doing this I hate how attached I got to this show and the characters FUCK

And my mom called me just as Sam was about to burn Dean's body and I had to pretend like I'm okay. I WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MORNING BEFORE I DECIDED TO WATCH THE EPISODE FUCK

so Sam's alone now, with the dog

but my question is: What the hell happened to Eileen? weren't they, like, in love? didn't she come back? (I feel like we actually don't know so I'm seriously asking) why isn't she there? wtf if I don't see Cas or Destiel, at least let me see my girl Eileen at the end 😭 and Sam being happy with her

baby's grieving and I cannot stand to see him so sad SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG (or me, I could use a hug too 😔)

I physically cannot stand seeing Jared cry - I feel like I'm literally falling apart

WHY IS THIS SO SAD wasn't it enough that we have to say goodbye to the show? couldn't those be happy tears about a happy end? THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS

okay, "agent Bon Jovi" made me chuckle through tears, I LOVE DEAN SO MUCH

lights out in the bunker made me cry even more

DEAN'S IN HEAVEN

BOBBY

OG BOBBY

ARE YOU KIDDING

idjit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I missed him much more than I expected omg

"that kid of yours" I. am. not. okay.

Jack setting things right, I love it ❤️ thank you for Bobby 😭😭😭

"everyone happy, everyone together" is it everyone though?🙃

"the Heaven you deserve" DAMN RIGHT HE DOES

"CAS HELPED" I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

right now I would just like to take a second to appreciate how fucking hot and handsome and beautiful Jensen is because I needed to pause and calm down a little and focus on something else

and Jensen is fucking gorgeous and Iove his fucking smile and his fucking lips - you know, when I started watching it, for about the first season I had to rewind every time Dean was talking because I couldn't focus on anything but his lips hahaha good times, wish I could forget about this show and watch it all over again and get supper annoyed at everything all over again but I still love this show more than any other even though I've been watching it only for the past 2 years haha

I think I'm good, back to watching:

I don't think I can express how I missed the og Bobby ❤️

AND BABY'S THERE OH YEAH

that smile, Dean/Jensen ugh you're killing me

"Hey Baby" ❤️❤️

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE

AND I JUST STOPPED CRYING AND NOW IT STRTED AGAIN AAGGHCHFJHSH

"love this song" me too, Dean, me too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

(wow, too much emojis, bitch, chill)

baby Dean that's too much

and Sam seems so happy 😭😭

but who's the wife, please tell me it's Eileen, I miss her where is she that's not fair

Sam as a dad is just so precious and cute and so fucking great I can't 😭😭❤️❤️ love that for him ❤️

but why aren't there any pics of Cas and Jack? C'mon, Sam 🙄 (I mean, there surely were some pics of them, we know for a fact there was at least that one Cas picture in a cowboy hat so there should me more ugh)

"it's okay, you can go now" why are doing this to me again

I mean, I'm happy that Sam got to live his life to the end and died of natural causes or old age or whatever

brothers togheter again 😭😭

I'm a mess

also, let me just ask, WHERE'S THE ANGEL

WHERE THE FUCK IS CAS

just a cameo at the very end would be great

"and cut" this made me cry again fuck

so that's the end, huh? brothers together again, in Heaven?

well, I choose to believe that at some point they reunited with Cas, too and that's that

overall, it was not what I expected, and I didn't have much hope for destiel but I hoped for some acknowledgment of his confession by Dean or at least a cameo

I mean, he's been one of the main characters for so long and they didn't even have him in the finale? and he was mentioned literally twice?????!?? FUCK YOU WRITERS

so, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it that much, is was meh, It wasn't a good conclusion to the show and I'll be bitter about Cas till the day I die and I didn't like how Dean died, I mean, he was literally impaled, in my opinion it wasn't "going out in the blaze of glory" like he always wanted

this is a long post, I'm not even gonna reread before posting, but those were my genuine reactions haha

if you read it, wow, I'm so sorry haha

now I need to lie down and cry before I can function again and do my homework so that's fun

I'll see y'all in your notes as I reblog every fucking thing about 15x20 😊👌

just one more thing at the end:

THIS SHOW RUINED ME AND I STILL LOVE IT WHY AM I LIKE THIS

anyway, I'm gonna go cry now hahahaha I'm not okay

I'm gonna live in denial about Cas not being there haha

I hope the rest of the spn family is holding up somehow because I'm losing it and I need some fix it destiel fics asap

okay not gonna make this longer haha

bye, have a good day 🙂👍❤️ (don't mind me, I'm losing my mind)

7 notes · View notes

dolanswhore · 6 years

Text

The Destroyer. (2)

Part 1. || Part 2. ||

**Credit for the picture go to recognize dolan on insta :)**

Summary: After mob Grayson spends most of his night scared, and looking for you. What happens when he finally gets a call from you? OKAY BUT THIS PIC IS FUCKING HOT AND THE MOB GRAY FEELS OH MY

Grayson didn’t know what to feel at the moment, his mind was racing too fast for his body or thought process to even keep up. His body moved with no thought, jumping into his car, without a second thought. Ethan was there for his brother, walking up to his car, opening the door quickly.

Gray’s hands rest on his shoulders, “Did you find her?”

"I sent Jack and Niel out, they just left we dont even know where to start."

"So you send the two biggest idiots we have?!" Gray didn't mean to snap, but his emotions got the best of him, his brother sighed, hands running down his face, knowing his brother’s temper way to well.

“Grayson every one at the warehouse guarding all of our shit, because that’s what you told me to fucking do!” Ethan’s voice rose in annoyance, Ethan loved you of course, and didn’t want to jeopardize everything they owned at the moment because of a fight, and probably at your mother house.

Gray’s eyes grow darker at Ethan, pushing his chest slightly. “Fuck you, she won’t answer her phone, and plus last time i checked, i was fucking in charge.”

“You won’t be for long if Guilliane takes everything you own. You killed his son not even 24 hours ago, be fucking logical Grayson, he’s going to find away to bring you down.”

Grayson knew exactly what Ethan was saying, the scenarios of what could happen played in his head all morning. Grayson was what one would call paranoid, but very ocd. Could you blame him in his lifestyle choice? People from all over the world wanted him dead, or wanted to be him.

He constantly lives his life, not knowing if he’ll be shot walking down the street, or worse one of his loved ones getting hurt. That’s why he tried to seperate them as much as possible. You never knew of what Grayson planned, you knew of what he did, but never would he allow you to be around during planning or the actions of it. He begged Ethan not to get involved, that he could handle this by himself, knowing he deserved better. Now looking back on it though, five years later, all the nights he spent heart broken, the first night he killed someone with his bare hands, he wouldn’t know what to do without the comforting shoulder of Ethan.

“You don’t think I fucking know that e?” Grayson voice was hoarse, not quite recovering from his emotions yet. His eyes still felt itchy, as if they were waiting to spring tears. Usually Gray wouldn’t get this worked it, it was true he understood you needed space, but never had you completely left him without a word, and this paranoia wouldn’t allow it to be pushed in the back of his mind, “I killed his only living son! with my bare fucking hands, he doesn’t want my shit! He wants someone i love!”

The expression and eye for an eyes, it was an old one used by the gangsters in this area, but was still an effective one. Seeing his family was safe tucked inside a house he bought for them in New Jersey, and heavily protected with a car outside all hours of the day, the only people he could think of was Ethan and you.

“Did you check her mothers?” Grayson suddenly felt dumb, he couldn’t help that his brain skipped to the worst possible outcome there could be, working like this after all these years beat it into him.

“I’m going there now.” He mumbled, but before turning around before saying, “I want you and your girl to stay at the warehouse tonight. I called before I came, Rog is picking her up now. Please just stay inside, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Ethan nods, hand squeezing his brothers shoulder before watching him disappear into the tint of the car. The ride to your mothers house was heatic to say the least, between the rushing traffic of LA, and his heart literally burning inside his chest. He let out a sigh of relief, looking at the colored bricks of the house, that gave him the warmy, family feeling he missed to much.

“Hey ma.” He smiled brightly, his dimple making her coo, hugging Gray close. Gray had always been close to your family, to the point they were like his, and always had them protected as well. Your mother squealed pulling him into a hug.

“Whenever Y/N comes over i always hope you’re with her, but you’re not, you stopped visiting me gray.” he hugs her back, hand rubbing her arms. “I know i’m sorry. she always asking me too, I’m just so busy.”

“I know how you Ceo’s are, busy busy men.” It was a small lie, because technically Gray was a CEO of something? Maybe not a lawful business.

“Is she here mom? I’ve been trying to get a hold of her.” Suddenly her face drops and she looks at him.

“What do you mean gray? She said she was going to meet you at the club later and that she went home to change?” He felt his heart sink once again, but kept the smile not wanting to worry your mother.

“I got mixed up, I thought she said to meet her here.” He let out a nervous chuckling, before saying he had to leave then or he was going to be late, also giving your mother the biggest hug, and promising he’ll be over this weekend for sunday dinner.

“Fuck.” Gray’s head hitting the back of head rest, this phone ringing soon knocking him out his trance, a sigh of relief leaving his mouth at your name.

“Grayson?” It was a soft whine, that made his heart pump against his chest, a dimpled smile taking over his handsome features.

“Peach? where are you? I was freaking out a little, and I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I’m so sorry. I don’t fucking deserve you.”

“How cute.” The husky voice over the phone chuckled, the room suddenly began to spin, vision blurrying, as his air ways were once again blocked. The groan of pain by you, made his legs shake. “Too bad it’s not gonna matter anymore gray.”

“If you fucking touch her i swear!” Grayson yelled through the phone, tears pricking his eyes as he heard the angelic whimper.

“I think it’s a little too late Gray yay? You took my son away from me, I only think it’s fair if I take someone you love.” The evil voice boomed, “Don’t worry, she’s not to hurt, yet.”

Grayson’s hand began to shake as he felt bile rise up his throat. “Take me, please let her go, take me. No games.”

“I’ll think about it.” The other line went dead, as grayson fumbled with the phone that seemed so much smaller in then his hands, pressing the call button over and over again, but no answer.

“Fuck.” Gray cried, hands roughly coming in contact with the steering wheel of his bmw. Grayson wasn’t sure what he was feeling, anger boiled in his chest, but sadness squeezed his heart, hard, all he knew is he couldn’t help it as his forehead fell against the steering wheel, as tears of fear slid past his eyelashes.

guys this really sucked, like idk whats been happening to me lately lol, but the next part will be BETTER I PROMISE

#ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan #ethen dolan x reader #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan x reader #the dolan twins imagine

132 notes · View notes

cachekakusu · 6 years

Text

K, so ya girl made the trip to see Anastasia on Broadway because WHY THE FUCK NOT also I needed a much needed vacation lmaooo (RIP MY $$$ but I’m here for a good time, not a long time!!! And worth going to see the show alone!) I also saw it twice because I’m so Extra(TM). But anyway, here be a reallllyy looooooong ass flail-y recap and thoughts for prosperity!!! I’m also combining both nights because I can!!!

So the first night, I sat center orchestra so I can IMMERSE MYSELF IN THE SHOW and the second time, I sat mezzanine right and HONESTLY the theatre is so small that as long as you’re not super to the side, you’ll get an amazing view wherever you are.

ACT I

When the EMPRESS WALKS IN, THAT SHIT SPARKLED LIKE A FUCKING THOUSAND DIAMONDS!?!?!? WOW LINDA CHO WAS ROBBED. The audience also gasped audibly during her entrance

People laughed when they took pictures IDK WHY IT’S SO FUNNY KJDSFS

The Attack (as I’m dubbing it) is so intense and visually stunning, especially the end

Also the “In The Dark of the Night” melody playing!!!!

I also loved the Romanov Sisters “AAAAAHHHHHHH” before the run away

Ok MAX AS GLEB!!! I LOVED HIM he really was more awkward and less poised than Ramin was, at least in front of Anya but just as terrifying and intimidating. I thought he was also funnier sdjfhdsjkhf. The tone of voices were pretty similar too so it was kind of easier to focus on his portrayal, which was amazing overall.

Uhhh once Dmitry comes out, you can’t stop looking at him. JAWLINE. And also he gesticulates a lot sjkfskjj.

Christy really forreal literally has a sparkle in her eye whenever she sings and it’s amazing to witness SHE REALLY IS SUCH A SPECIAL PERFORMER

ISTG, one of these days Derek and John are forreal gonna end up flipping Christy over when they lift her THEY ALMOST DID THE SECOND NIGHT AND I WAS STRESSEDT you legit could see her feet up in the air lmfaaooao

After Anya chases off those hooligans, she points the stick at Dmitry and says, “Come at me, I won’t hurt you.” in this playful almost flirty voice and it gave me......thoughts......

DEREK GETS SO SWEATY AT THE END OF MY PETERSBURG AND IT’S SO FUNNY KFHSKJF also he kind of warbled the last note in both nights but I find it kind of endearing lmao bless him

There are a number of moments where Dmitry just kind of stares at Anya and then kind of catches himself and shakes himself out of it and it’s adorable like “hahahahaha idiot you’re falling in loooooooooooooove”

Uhhh OUAD is even more amazing because the ghost projections extend to the sides of the theatre so like SENSORY OVERLOAD I cried metaphorically

Watching the ensemble is so fun, when you can look away from Derek/Christy for a few seconds (WHICH IS HARD TO DO) lmfaoo, and in “We’ll go from There”, when it’s Dmitry’s turn to sing and he’s just hanging on the train rails, I was watching the two smoker girls (one played by Lyrica aka Odette/Ballerina), and at first, they have these disgusted looks that slowly turn into “Oh no, he’s hot” and LYRICA ESPECIALLY had that “gosh, he’s actually really cute” AND IT’S HILARIOUS (and I told Lyrica when I met her at stagedoor and she laughed a lot, saying she and Sarah have a lot of fun doing that scene)

OTP: DMITRY x BATHTUBS FOREVER

Stay, I Pray You gets me on a deep personal level because the immigrant connection is real (”You are all I know. You have raised me.” WHEN WILL I NOT CRY!?!?!?) , also I love numbers where everyone just sings classic choral style also the harmonies at the end PHEW

Also CONSTANTINE’S VOCALS

Journey to the Past. No words tbh other than MAGICAL.

ACT II

PARIS HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR HEART IS SO FUN AND THE ELEVATOR RIDE UP TO THE EIFFEL TOWER IS SO FUCKING FUN!!!

I appreciate Land of Yesterday so much more as a visual performance because Caroline O’Connor is amazing. Her wit and her PHYSICAL STAMINA

MBP is one regal HBIC and Close the Door made me EMO

TCATCM is always such a hoot and John and Caroline are amazing together, the audience really just eats it up

IN A CROWD!!!! OF FUCKING THOUSANDS!!!!

I love arm

Christy’s delivery of “I remember” has gotten much softer it seems, and then they both kind of stare at each other for awhile, as if really realizing who each other is before they CRASH INTO EACH OTHER RIP ME

both gasp lightly between “I’d find you....” “again”

*cue the disappointed sounds of the audience when Dmitry pulls back. SAME, MY DUDES*

also they both let out really audible gasps before Dmitry pulls back and it’s so !!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!?!?!?

When Dmitry kneels down, the background turns into this starry sky AND THE FULL EFFECT OF IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND I WAS AWESTRUCK

I always get so emo when character’s leitmotifs play but ANYWAYS when the Dowager came out, you can tell she just looked so done and tired AND IT BROKE MY HEART (she looked regal af though)

When Dmitry comes RUNNING OUT and just kind of looks around and you know he’s searching for Anya THE silly boy and then Vlad spots him and he’s fixing him up while he acts like a disgruntled son lmflaks

ANYA’S ENTRANCE IN THE ICONIC BLUE DRESS fuck, the sparkles on that dress is so mesmerizing and SHE WAS GLOWING but she only had eyes for Dmitry right when she found him and has this fond look on her face AND SDKJFHSKJ SHE LOVES HIM FLALSMA

(release “When She Walks In”, you cowards!)

I didn’t really cry cuz during both performances (I was TOO HAPPY TO SEE THIS ALL COME TO LIFE BEFORE MY EYES) BUT I did get super emotional when Vlad sang “Meant to Be” becaue HE JUST LOOKED SO HEARTBROKEN FOR BOTH HIS CHILDREN!?!?!?

QUARTET AT THE BALLET is one of my favorites AND I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME!!!! Also LYRICA!!!!! What an amazing dancer and I found it really nice that it was a show within a show and they had their own curtain call for this

Seriously, which of the writers hates Cleveland sdkjfhsdjkfh that joke will never not be funny

DEREK’S CRESCENDO AND DESCRESCENDO IN ETW!! BITCH!!!!

Also, DMITRY BOUGHT ANYA A FUCKING DOLL!?!!? WHY IS HE LIKE THIS!?!?!? Let me stare off into space while I continue to process that information

Uh, when Dmitry checks in on the Dowager and Anya during their reunion, he has a little smile on his face before he angstily walks away (and out of Anya’s life forever!!! Or so he thought, haha that fool)

The Anya/Gleb confrontation is always such a cool and emotional scene, especially when the Romanov ghosts also step back behind

After Gleb decides to let Anya go, and the Romanovs/Officers leave and you see them carry a body, as if physically and metaphorically burying the past IT’S SO. WOW. HAUNTING AND EVOCATIVE AND I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT

When Anya finds Dmitry and he kind of takes her in for a bit before going all emo on her and Anya kind of has this fond smile before getting all sad once he says, “I can’t be in love with someone I can’t have for the rest of my life” like GOD, YOU’RE A FOOL BUT I LOVE YOU!?!?!?

“*softly* I’m not your prince, Anya.”

*cue my tears*

THE KISS!!! SO MUCH CHEERING And lmao whenever Christy grabs his suitcase to step on it, IT’S SO HILARIOUS because even in her heels she’s almost eye level with Derek (a real testament to how big of a height difference they have)

After Dmitry pulls away, they both have dazed smiles on and kind of look at each other for a beat longer RIP ME

EVEN AFTER ANYA TAKES HIS ARM AND THEY KEEP SMILING AT EACH OTHER AND IT’S SOOO!!! CUTE!!! I LOVE ROMANCE!!!

The finale gets me so emo, the Dowager’s “Still...” and her opening the music box AND THE ROMANOV SPIRITS ALL COME OUT AND THEN THEY ALL ROTATE LIKE AN ACTUAL MUSIC BOX!!!! IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Also the bridge in the background changes from being real, to a PAINTING as if to really add to the fairytale effect of DIMYA WALKING TO THEIR FUTURE and then when it goes, “Far away...” IT CHANGES TO A SNOWY SCENE AND I!!! LOSE MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stage door. K so honestly, I appreciate all of them so much they are all so nice and gracious AND DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND PRAISE!!!!

Max was so nice (SUPER HANDSOME) and I told him that he was really funny as Max and he laughed skdjskjf

Nicole came out next and she’s adorable, protect her forever!!!!

Lyrica is WOW BEAAUTIFUL TBH and I told her she’s an amazing dancer and she said how she has so much fun doing the ballet (also she has the most legible signature and I respect that lmaoo)

Caroline O’Connor is a delight and is so nice and I told her that I love her jokes and her high kicks skjfhskdjfh and she laughed and she thanked me for buying the program lmfaoo that was cute

Mary Beth also came out and is so elegant and precious and Zach was following after her because he was carrying some box (??? hers??? WHO KNOWS)

I’m lame and exclaimed, “You’re the music box!!!” when it was Zach’s turn to sign and he was all, “How did you know!?!?!? We have an avid fan over here, guys!” sdkjfhskjfh and I honestly would love to see his Dima cuz he’s really witty and a good egg.

I told John that he was the real winner in my heart and he laughed and said how they really enjoy making the vlogs and I jokingly asked when the next season was and he was very ;)))) about it SO THAT’S EXCITING BECAUSE I WANT MORE ROYAL MISFITS FOREVER!!! I also told him he deserved a full pack of gum sjkfhsjk and he said that he doesnt even like gum sjkdfsh

Derek is unreal beautiful and lmao the thirst for him by everyone is real but he’s so nice with everyone. I just told him that his vocals in Quartet are particularly amazing sdfjhsjkfh and he laughed adorably (ok, everything he does is adorable lbr). I was kind of a mess trying to take a pic with him but he was really patient while I got my shit together and flkaoska he’s so tall he had to crouch down quite a bit (sorry for my shortness, my dude). Anyway, both pics turned out slightly blurry because???? He just has that effect, I guess!

Christy went last and lmao, I wonder if they purposely plan it that way now because of how long she takes interacting with each fan. Even the security guard was impressed with how much she loves doing the stage door lmao. She really is as precious as you expect and I pretty much babbled my love for Anastasia and for her AT her because SHE’S EVERYTHING AND IS A LITERAL PRINCESS and emanates so much love and kindness. I asked for a pic and I’m such an awkward ass turtle, trying to decide which way would provide better lighting lmao she offered to do hold the phone instead and I didn’t even realize she was taking so many pics lmao. Then I told her I loved her and thanked her for being THE BEST ANASTASIA A FAN CAN HOPE FOR and we hugged and she thanked me for coming and told me my hair smelled good sdkjfskf. The second night is when I gave her my gift (lmao, it’s supposed to be a giant easter egg that I painted with some candy in it but the top half came off when she was taking it out, hence why she’s only holding half of it in the picture akhad) and she’s honestly like a little kid with how excited she was about it and even held it out so the other peeps could see lolol. She saw the treats inside and I told her how I know she loves snacking and she kind of went on about the pocki sticks she was eating backstage (which she pronounces, “poke-y” lmaoo so I didn’t know what she was talking about til like, a day later) and how they’re so addicing lmao I love one (1) backstage snacker. And she keeps saying how they have the best fans and I’m like, “UH!!! YOU GUYS DESERVE IT, HONESTLY!!!!” and she does the “Awwww!!!” face (y’all know the one). OH she also tried guessing where I was from but I kind of blurted it out before she could and she was so “SEE, I WAS GONNA SAY ‘CALIFORNIA’! I shouldn’t have even asked!” lmao. I gushed at her again, thanked her and probably told her I loved her again before I finally said goodbye lmao.��

I’m probably missing a lot of stuff, honestly it’s a blur and I’m trying to finish this up before I pass out from a food coma but ANYWAYS! 20/10 would fucking recommend, I love this musical so goddamn much and the cast and literally every one involved they’re all so talented and it will always hold a special place in my goddamn heart!!! *a million crying emojis*

#personal #anastasia the musical #christy altomare #derek klena #john bolton #zach adkins #lyrica woodruff #max von essen #mary beth peil #nicole scimeca #caroline o'connor #anastasia cast

92 notes · View notes

katsbag-stuff · 6 years

Text

[SU THEORY] Our Pearl isnt the first Pearl.

I've got into this show like few weeks ago and I don't exactly have a good track record with theories and predictors outside of star wars, but this came to my mind today and I want to get it out. This is a very simple (possibly inconsequential?, or maybe not idk) theory but I think it's solid.

Also I'm sorry if it's messy I'm not really good at organizing my thoughts like this...

[spoilers for the new episodes as well as a fragment of the official art book!!!]

Pearls are custom made and as far as we've see they're most likely created to match the personalities and the appearance of their respective owners.

Blue Pearl is as quiet, mysterious and reserved as her diamond. She speaks in a soft almost whispering voice. Her hair and clothing flows down like BD's. She has a light blue color scheme. Identical gem placement.

Yellow Pearl is not militaristic as her diamond but shes still bold, confident, dismissive and sure of herself which are other main characteristics of YD. Her hair resembles her diamonds and her color scheme is just light yellow. Again identical gem placement as her diamond.

Our Pearl does not match Pink Diamond in appearance or personality in any way.

[i cannot find a good pic of pearls olders outfit without taking awkward screenshots and I'm on my phone I'm sorry :c]

Our Pearl has light pink hair and some pink clothing but her main color scheme also includes lots of white, blue, yellow and a few times light purple. She's by far one of the most colorful gems in the entire show.

Her hair is rather straight and points up forward the back of her head, as oppose to Pink's puffy curly hair style. Her gem is on her forehead not her belly. Pearl's personality is practically the opposite of Pink as shes very tidy, responsible and careful.

In the steven universe art book there is a picture of Rebecca Sugar's chart/timeline of the show. The picture is small and blurry but some people have figured out parts of it. One part specifically says "a new *sensible custom [obscured] is delivered to Pink"

Its been a popular assumption that the word missing here is "pearl" (in part because it's in the light blue line of the timeline and next to the pink one. Colors that represents Pink/Rose and Pearl in the show and we know the rest of the chart is color coded for other characters like Lapis, Garnet, Ruby and Sapphire) ,so a new pearl was given to Pink at one point?...

*(its not 100% certain that that word is really "sensible" but it's the most fitting possibility, if you want to check the picture out yourself just look up "steven universe artbook chart/timeline")

Meaning Pink once had a different pearl than our Pearl; possibly one that was made more in her imagine, from her looks to her personality.

But a reckless childish leader and a reckless and/or childish servant is not a good mix,

Expecially in BDs and YDs eyes, given their parent like treatment of Pink and attempts to push her forwards being more mature.

The First Pink Pearl gets taken away from Pink (who knows how and what happens to her afterwards but it probably happened before the Earth colony?), meanwhile the other diamonds create a new pearl; one less like Pink and more to the liking of the rest of the diamonds, one thats supposed to act more reasonable to contrast Pink's antics.

A responsible, organized, careful; Sensible Pearl for the reckless Pink Diamond.

This is why Pearl's color scheme (expecially her first outfit) has the colors of all the diamonds and this is why she doesn't share Pink's/Rose's personality traits or gem placement despite being her pearl.

She was made by the others to "keep Pink in line" (well as much as a servant can...) or at least not go along with her childish behavior.

#kasy talks #welp here i go #su spoilers #su theory #steven universe #i dont like putting my posts on main tags but eh #im probably wrong lmao #this is stupid

0 notes

tamiddyinyourcity · 4 years

Text

i definitely think i am officially on the "really terrible person, just goddamned awful" roure

and i can either:

apologize for my actions but still cut that fucker off since he was so goddamned disrespectful i swear to god im both cut out for relationships but absolutely terrible at them ending positively man

embrace being a terrible person by just watching a fuckton of mob movies, or tv shows and videos with narcissists, to feel a sense of comfort *instead* of doing something mean and impulsive then feeling chest pains, sweats, and blurry vision

I might apologize.

I still hope he's alright, to an extent. He pissed me the actual fuck off to such an extent that if I had the leg strength for it, I would kick at least six holes in a wall.

But, whatever.

Should I care? I cursed him out to feel good about not letting him shit talk, but now I feel not so good for yknow, being shitty right back. (I could've used better words for my original message ending my friendship for him, but he was salty at me saying the pic thing was 'awkward', [it was and it did kinda hurt ngl but his bitch ass only got 1 singular like, so, good luck to that bitch] and i was getting fed up at the low replies and whatnot.)

Idk. I feel not so great. But also good? Hard to explain.

I feel GOOD that I made him feel bad? But he doesnt feel bad or sorrow for his actions, he just feels bad since I threw a lot of shit about him that I knew would specifically kill him inside in his face. (He did it to me, but idk? Thats like comparing someone flinging a cake in my face, and me throwing back a Meteor Hammer at their fucking eyes, then as theyre already on the ground, stomping on the teeth that flung out of their mouth to a fine dust to make sure the dentist cant just pop those suckers back in.)

So in a way... yes, I was not a super good person today. I can either do that thing where I get totally reckless and uncaring, and block out all forms of guilt, and maybe even the memory entirely... (Stress is already making me really hazy right now, so i may or may not remember this, i suppose.)

Or I can apologize.....

I can't apologize so soon. He's still an asshole, and i need more time to really figure out my feelings.

Still cant really rebuild that shit back, either way. Once a man plays the "not my fault you got attached when i went out of my way to make you really like me" card, (the same thing that gave Patrick that bloody nose, since he was ridiculously stupid to say that wanting to kiss me when i left him was a romantic act.... I'm still sorry about his nose, it's why I cried and pulled out napkins like that once I actually came to fully and saw it.)

Anyway, he played what was a very very very very very not so good card to play on me.

My original retort back was polite; let him know in an intelligent yet still snarky way, "YES dipshit, the whole POINT of my FUCKING PARAGRAPH was to let you know that i am becoming TOXIC and DELUDED and CLINGY, so if I STAY, its gonna have REALLY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES DUE TO THE NOTICEABLE TENSIONS COMING BETWEEN YOU AND ME DUE TO MY UNRECIPROCATED AFFECTIONS AND FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN."

I worded it a lot better without caps, but I wrote it well. He saw it and didnt reply.

But the way he wrote what he wrote before what I sent.... had my skin crawling and burning, gave me the shakes. If I were a cartoon character, I'd probably glow red or have steam coming out of my ears.

So.

I took the low blow and went lower, then lower again, maybe like five solid times.

....

I'm sorry, Rowan. You didn't deserve that. I shouldn't have brought up your romantic past and shed such a harsh, and negative, light onto you. I could've been nicer about how I handled everything, and I chose a much worse route than what was deserved. You're gonna be okay, with or without me. You have friends that you love, and I still will care about you from a distance, but I can't afford to be involved right now. At the expense of my mental health, and yours.

And I didn't mean to insinuate that we were each other's crutch in a bad way, you know? I mean, its like..... I knew that you were mine, and you've told me on multiple occasions that you felt like I cared about you more than other people have, and whatnot.

That's probably not true, and you have friends of more than 4+ years who would take offense to thinking that the girl you've passively known since February or so, and only clicked with in late March, would like you more than them.

But, I was using you as a crutch too. Not as a, "I'm only using him for validation"... Or, well, not when things got to seeming like you did care for me as well.... I took it at face value, so, whether what you said was a lie or not, know that my platonic and romantic feelings for you grew to be more than just you flashing your dick in a picture, or just aimless flirting. I saw more than that.

And hell, I knew that if you just up and left me someday, I'd crumble. Geez, I'm even crying as I write this shit, and for all I know, he's never even gonna see it....

So yknow, if I was already pretty quickly attached to you, and you knew that... You've known for awhile, since when I first suspected a crush, I told you about it immediately, to avoid the embarrassment of some hidden crush or whatever interfering with an otherwise interesting bond.

I don't get why you thought it would be easy for me, what came next.

None of it was. Hell, I gave you my tumblr for a reason.... to read everything on here. No secrets or hidden fears, just straight up, "This is how she's like, this is how she writes when stressed, or sad, or devastated, or happy, or overjoyed". Seeing whatever about my past or present and my goals for the future... all seriousness.

Just.... too many words to say right now without being super messy in real time with the amount of tears trailing down my face atm.

.....

12:46am.

I was trying to say, we were each other's crutch. You told me that, and I knew it. I could tell. When you'd go off your meds, and think the whole world hated you or that your life was fucked, doing the classic "everyone is fucking muted right now dont even think about messaging me, tag me if you want me to talk".... And I was seemingly the only one unmuted, or your phone was open on my messages the entire time, since your replies were still instant. And I was..... Scared shitless. I still had things to do, but if I made that cup of tea too long, or didnt wash my hands fast enough, or folded clothes more than 5 minutes, then, who knows what would have happened to you?

You eventually told me never to take your posts seriously, but.... That's impossible to do. Just... eugh.

But I also knew that if you did sincerely kill yourself, or simply even stop talking to me, I'd lose my shit.

That, my dear, is called "co-dependency". I needed to remind myself that I have a life outside of you, and vice vera.

You did well, since you have friends to play online board games with, buy and stream video games for, and more. You've got friends to face time, and well, plenty of options everywhere.

And I have..... eh.... I'm finding things tonight that I used to love researching, like hypergamy and art n shit, but still. I was getting a bit too into you, and you were still a bit too into me too..... I get liking a girl, but saying I'm the only person who's ever cared about you is pretty fucked. Don't do that shit, ever, seriously. But if your other friends dont care about you whatsoever to see how you are doing or bother checking in? You maybe did need new friends.....

Anyway. I needed a firm rejection that night. It wouldve gave me time to cool down, accept things for what they are, and cry before waking up and just having another chill day.

I guess me mentioning needing a direct "i have mo feelings fir you i rhat

My jand is falling asleeo

Agj

Whatever

You shohlsve just told me that you never would. Going "well the only reason i havent dated tou is necaude of my pasy, otherwise i totally wouls" tnen postif fuckboh pocs online....

Ha di mstill asleep.

Fuck.

12:59am. Writi g more later. Love you Rowan. Please stay safe and drink some waer please. I mag not be ue friend as od now, but i still want you to do whats right for yoursslf. You lnow how to reach me. Peace yalls.

#rowan #yep

0 notes