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celestite-caroline · 3 months

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hey guess who decided to remake her OC to kinda suit the source series better

additional info: I have no idea if it would work well, but I'm tempted to have her work on Edward's Branch Line :3 it depends on if a passenger railcar would be needed there tbh

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purpleleafsyt · 3 months

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Euphrasia.. I've been needing to update my design for a while now

#purplearts #ninjago #ninjago fanart #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #euphrasia #ninjago euphrasia #euphrasia ninjago #featuring headcanons!!#mainly the poliosis. that was in my firsy design and im too attached to it now #also she has feathers on her face n neck from the winged ears #i used this mostly as a 'get back into drawing' doodle because i have been SO sick #and havent drawn in two weeks #but. im trying to get back into the swing of things

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moeblob · 2 months

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Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute

(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)

#my characters #oops i fell in love #I just think its really funny how i view so many of the cast as either the only child or #somehow still the only child but with twin cousins that he grew up with somewhat like siblings but is older than them #and then THESE TWO LOSERS (beloveds) are definitely younger siblings #there is no way Karen developed her personality without the help of older brothers #there is also a very funny and agonizing thing where she is super single cause she can't view a guy as more than a brother #she meets an asshole and is like wow just getting huge brother vibes from him wtf #and meets the nicest man possible and is like HOW IS HE ALSO LIKE A BROTHER I WILL NEVER LOVE ROMANTICALLY #and she has all of the guy friends and its very clear if they were interested she has long since friendzoned them #but its fine because they all are also convinced that shes exactly what it would be like to have a brother #so its fine its all good no one really agonizes over not romancing her and she just as a found family in everyone #hi my name is salmon and you may recall my feheroes experience where i want to give a certain male all of the siblings #the sibling adopter extraordinaire ? yeah thats basically karen now that i think about it #you know one time at work at my first job there was a girl who had a crush on a guy and we all worked the same shift a lot #and one day she was whining because he was so friendly to me and he looks at the girl straight faced and says #ITS BROS BEFORE HOES aint that right and im like uh huh sure thats exactly right #and later i told him i really wanted to know where she went wrong because i had a crush on him in school until he opened his mouth #and hes like yeah sucks to wanna date me you made the right choice #and i just ..... will never forget that weird guy #he saw me in a hoodie once and goes NO WAY I HAVE THE SAME ONE and then makes sure he brings it in next time we work together to prove it #he was like an annoying younger brother to me and i thought it was very funny that apparently i too am a sibling to him #i might be adopted and i might be biased but i think everyone could use an adopted sibling that they dont live with #thats a special bond ok im just sayin #also sorry its so late tonight i had some uhhhhhh problems haha

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averlym · 9 months

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#i have little to no rationale for this but this is an art blog after all so here is a random little something i did on break #wanted to do smth more illustrate-y for once and render. i missed painting and. faces are always fun to paint so i just started shading and #tadaa? out of the dreamscape indeed and inspired quite heavily by anastasia #<blinks?> i'm!! not sure!!! what i'll be posting from now on!!! welcome back to the avvy-has-a-crisis-over-blog-content //#ending-with-the-resolution-to-post-whatever // and then feeling like since people are following for six ... should. post that instead. //#i saw somewhere in a ted talk of smth that be yourself and your people will find you. i feel like that applied here when i was fifteen and #now oops im a different person. what do i do with the remnants of my past self i've kept. she's in there somewhere but no longer here.#so i guess. revamp. post whatever current me wants and ignore any and all stats.#last time i went on (what i thought was permanent hiatus) i think i was trying to end on a high note. this is now a ??ship of theseus thing #perhaps. whatever!!! <stops thinking of myself as a content creator and more of a silly little blog> wow this is so chill #the true goal of this all is just to get better at art. and have it be shareable. that part is bonus.#on another note i have picked up crochet! started another side acc! began the ridiculous flood of exam season. read two whole books #and listened to a bunch of songs i either discovered or rediscovered. kept cooking experiments in the kitchen. hashtag lifeupdates i suppos #it's getting better. im usually dehydrated and stress is forever there but i've come to like my life enough to cope with it?? hooray #i think. me-who-started-this-blog would be terribly proud of how we've grown. it's a comforting thought #also i can paint actually! hehe

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hauntingblue · 11 days

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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what #oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened #it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs #200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs #like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo #also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1098 #also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here #sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido #episode 1099 #<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him #and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr #LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain #zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto #robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself #after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK #episode 1100 #<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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arklay · 6 months

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DANI HAINES x CARLOS OLIVEIRA / template.

#mine.#pair: dani x carlos #oc: dani #click for better quality as always ♡#so um i meant to post this the same time as the claire on last year but just completely forgot then found out i lost my psd so oops #i wanted to do like a stencil or army font for their names but also wanted that handwriting look so the letters overlapped...aughgh #gave up on looking for pics of carlos' face model as well i'm so sorry like there were none with his long hair and the ones from cosplay #they weren't hd or big enough so i was like whateva i'll use this pic that kinda looks real anyways 🤷#anyways yes dani has falling in love with her friends disease. she's so real for that actually #and there's something going on in my brain chemistry seeing dani be the one with two partners yet she's the jealous one...inchresting #again i'm fighting for my life with the new html text editor so hopefully this posts properly...i think the ewskers family tree #posted fine but also that one was a bit more complicated with the read more and line break pics...but omg trying to use gradient text #now...so yes anyways here are my other beloveds !! if i notice an error after posting this i'll blow up cause the new editor makes it harde #to do literally everything lmaoo i hate it sm

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significant-ace-nnoyance · 4 months

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interrupting your regular programming to bring you a special message: stop. whatever you're doing right now. stop and go watch everything everywhere all at once. i dont care if you "dont have multiple hours to spare" do it. i dont care if you've "already seen it" watch it again???? "ive seen it 5 times" watch it a 6th time ???????? even better watch it a 7th ?????? literally what could you be doing that's more important than seeing this masterpiece before you and sobbing your fucking soul out??????

i thought so.

#somebody sedate me because that movie makes me BAJDFLKBdfksKjagsdJHFsdLKfgjsaklJAFGALSKJGD #if you cant tell i just watched it again #holy shit #im too incoherent right now to offer any meaningful thoughts #just #no other movie has made me cry with SNOT and TEARs drIPPPING down my face because of a single LINE a single LOOK #a single SHOT OF TWO PLANETS COLLIDING AND A ROCK FALLING OFF A CLIFF KILL ME NOW #everything everywhere all at once #this has been your psa #youre welcome #or sorry #both #this movie will hurt you and heal you in the most innovative incredible way #hate the fucking oscars drive them into the ground but at least they gave this movie the recognition it fucking DESERVES #also stephanie hsu is CRIMINALLY underrated holy sHIT her performance #anyways ill stop yapping im just wasting your time in which you could be watching this movie #do it #michelle yeoh #EATS DOWN in this movie #as she always does but HOLY SHIT thats an actress right there thats what talent MEANS #also waymond <3 oh my godfkljadkljg that man makes me cry #ke huy quan #DEVOURS as waymond also #anyone who bitches about this movie is genuinely willingly stupid stop boring us with your whining and go WATCH IT #anyways #eeaao

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swordmaid · 6 months

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for me… FOR ME..!!! and for shri’iia specifically the lock in for astarion’s romance is his graveyard scene in act 3.

i think it is too quick for shri’iia to be moving on to another relationship considering her previous one was with her mistress who essentially groomed and isolated her for like … more than hundred years. learning to chase her own desires and not moulding herself to what anyone wants her to be is something so new to her…!!! and something that she’s still learning how to be comfortable with….

and what I like abt romancing astarion with her is that I usually go for the dialogue path in his act 2 confession scene where you can ask him:

- what do YOU want to do?

and he goes like honestly idk what we’re doing but /this/ is nice. it just feels like two people exploring the option to love for the first time and taking things in their own pace rather than jumping straight into the relationship. they’re going at a snails pace… they don’t know what they’re doing but they like this feeling and the vibe and they want to more of it but they’re not ready to commit to anything yet and it’s fine for them …!! and they’re only committing by the end in the graveyard scene where significant time has passed and they’ve learnt a little more about themselves and they’re both more confident about their own desires and also how they want to be loved.

like it is so fitting I think… and sweet… not to mention astarion being a high elf & a vampire and shri’iia being a drow, they have all the time of the world for themselves so I def think they would want to take their time. except if shri’iia turns into a mindflayer or drider by the end then that plan is out the window lol

#now I’m thinking who else I can romance with her .. maybe lae’zel ??#since the thing with her is that she doesn’t get vulnerable in act 1 so the scenes where the romances #are kind of heart to hearts like shadowheart’s or karlach’s (😭😭😭) is out of the question since it doesn’t fit her …#like she’d rather sleep with someone first than actually get to know them 😭 hence astarion and lae’zel …#gale and wyll… I am hmmm about it on one hand her approval with wyll in act 1 is not even high enough 😭😭#and I don’t think she can be sweet enough to chase after him in the party .. she was kind of like ok fine whatever when he said he’s not in #the mood … gale I think can be a contender .. I actually don’t know how his route goes so I’m not sure abt that …#but the thing is … she gets vulnerable LATER ..!! and why astarion’s romance work for her is i hc after their act 2 scene #they’re just in a situationship rather than actual relationship … like they’re dating (yes!) but also dating (hmmmm)#and it’s only in his last scene where they both lock in bc I think that’s enough time for her to process her OWN trauma and also for her #own character development … like she has to learn how to trust (ack!!!!) which is the thing that you don’t do when you’re raised in lolth’s #cult …. and her mistress manipulated her trust too so it’s even more nerve wracking for her bc she doesn’t want someone to have that power #over her again .. but now she has to learn how to give it away freely … without being scared … bites my hand …!!!!#and astarion graveyard scene where he wants to live again vs shri’iia learning how to trust again and trying to live without the fear of #someone betraying you and using you and the paranoia that comes with it … urck urgh goughhhhhh critical hit …#also I have a hc that she actually is quite good at making poisons since her mother sold alchemy herbs and components #and she gives him poison as a courting gift lol .. also like a way to protect him 🤭 but she won’t admit that … she’s like if you want it #take it if you don’t idc 🤷‍♀️ (she does..) i hc that she gets flustered at sincerity actually #their relationship for me is like they’re both two little shits and a general menace to society (both charlatans)#but if they had to hold hands she’d get too flustered too and he’s like honestly what are you a child? (smug face making fun of her)#I have this little comic idea for them when they held hands for the first time and she’s like ouggghhh 😳😮‍💨 flustered and sweating and he’s #like hihi 🤭😎 but then their hands starts to get sweaty and then he’s like ew that’s disgusting and she’s like ok if u hate it let go then #and he’s like no YOU let go 🙄 but they don’t let go now they have to suffer through the sweaty hand holding alas such is fate …

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ratgingi · 1 year

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another nonfandom oc falls victim to the dialed town beam. everyone say hi to felicity, shes like if government spy drone pigeons were a person doing their best

#dialtown oc #tango dialtown #<- technically bc hes here #her non-dt related story is shes a deity who got kicked out of the afterlife for being too cringe fail at god duties and air dropped into-#-the life of an office worker #she keeps that story here basically except now she has a yarn ball for a head (so i can have an excuse to keep her as a gorgon bc thts what #she is in the oc story shes frm) and also shes friends with tango bc i say so .#basically she keeps tabs within the city and if she sees smth sus she just calls in like omg bestie u wont believe this #i literally only dialed towned her bc shes one of my favs. shes my baby i love her sm #she tells people the head snakes are fake + in person they look like stray yarn pieces she doodled faces on or smth #but they are alive and all have names. the two closest to her face are babies :-]#hobos creations #jack dlc #dlc wiki

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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years

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Father and Child

#Tuvok #trans Tuvok #//blood #Had this image in my head and couldn't get it out v_v #do /not/ tag this as f*tish art =_=#trans Tuvok has one child with his husband then meets T'Pel and the two of them immediately fall in love and start seeing one another #in secret (gasp!) then one day Tuvok shows up at T'Pel's home and challenges her husband for her hand in marriage (gasp!)#and T'Pel obviously wants Tuvok to wiiiin~ she shaves his head in the bathroom and doesn't even /look/ at her husband when the fight begins #Tuvok wins (of course) and the two live happily ever after~#Sek is still the oldest - he's T'Pel's son and he becomes a big brother when Tuvok and T'Pel marry one another #Tuvok had one child and it went..................stressfully so he decided he didn't want to have any more biological children v_v #T'Pel was more than willing to get pregnant again bc Sek was such an easy pregnancy (and an easy baby...and an easy child...and-)#Tuvok is a house''wife'' and T'Pel is bad at housework so Tuvok offers (insists) on helping her since her husband complains #and at first T'Pel is very irritated by him bc he acts very high-and-mighty but she eventually gets to know him better and sees that he's #actually much less uptight than he seems...he's just frustrated by his life...and they fall in love <3 #they're both looked down on because T'Pel is a bit unorthodox and also from the country while Tuvok used to be very wild and is considered #strange even now...unsocial....but they understand one another <3 #Tuvok in this picture is holding Elieth in his hands and all the stress&pain is temporarily fading as he looks into his child's eyes #All of Tuvok's children were met with an unsmiling face and so much love they grew sleepy from it...like milk #bea art tag #Tuvok art #st voyager #st voyager art #trans star trek

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boltgunkiller-archive · 5 months

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saw brittana s2 era being related to are we still friends by tyler the creator

#juno speaks #oh my goddd…#“are we still friends? can we be friends?”#when you apply the locker scene where santana says britt staring at her is causing her to forget her locker combo… ohh #because britt literally says “did i do something wrong are you mad at me. i miss being close” (not a direct quote but that’s essentially #what she said) and like. my god. because during the s2 era they heavily drifted due to santana’s confession. it wasn’t the confession itself #that drove them apart #more so santana’s own decision to distance herself due to her fear of rejection and #since she got rejected #her subsequent bitter behavior to deflect from what happened and the embarrassment and shame she felt not Only bc she admitted to liking #girls. Liking BRITTANY. but also bc she didn’t even get what she wanted in the end and now people may know and now BRITT knows so she can’t #just go back to being normal and she’s stressed and hurt and upset and she just doesn’t wanna talk to anyone #she just wants to be straight and normal and she wants things to be normal but she can’t handle the idea of facing brittany at all so she #just drifts away from her so brittany desperately tries to fix things and become santana’s best friend again #they’re a two shot they’re best friends they need each other they went from inseparable to not even speaking outside of maybe glee club #it’s got an effect on the both of them and brittany wants to fix whatever happened and go back to being close but santana won’t even tell #her what’s wrong so she has to figure it out for herself (“can we be friends?”)#the song essentially repeats those two lines a lot but they can be applied to more than just that locker scene too #you could apply them to santana denying dancing w brittany/wearing the lebanese shirt because she’s denying brittany’s attempt to not only #fix their relationship but also help santana accept herself. she can’t accept that and all brittany wants is for them to be friends but #in that moment it seems as if santana won’t even accept that they ARE friends #and then in 2x19 she doesn’t accept that well now that artie isn’t in the picture they COULD be more than that (“don’t say goodbye” lowkey)#like santana’s just so closed off it seems like they’re not friends and they can’t even be that and they could never be more either #auuvuh… does this even make sense… losing my mind #gleeposting

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pancakehouse · 1 year

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hi um do you guys also have a couple random throwaway bits of books or other media you think about regularly just going about your everyday lives .. like there’s a small recurring bit in anne of green gables where she’s never properly cleaning the dirt from behind her ears when she bathes and she’s always getting scolded for it and every day when i shower im like rlly making sure to get in there aggressively scrubbing behind mine when id have never thought twice about it otherwise you know! and also when im driving and pass a cop car and i slam on the breaks even when im not speeding i think of the line in twilight where bella’s like ‘nothing slows down traffic like a cop’ and think . wow … she was so real for that…

#sorry about this post my bestest friends it’s been eating away at my brain just had to get it out #like i wash my face in the shower and every day i make sure to take a little extra soap and scrub those two centimeters of skin right behind #my ears and you know what?!! there’s fully dry skin there every single time !!! marilla was so right ://#alright well. idk this post is what it is <3 #also ive just called my sister to discuss this w her and she has no memory of the ear cleaning thing in anne of green gables did i dream #that up ??? now i am. confused.

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cosmocove · 7 months

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birthday doodle dump

#bonk.png #undescribed #<- its like almost 1 am as i type this tag im not adding ids to them atm #first image was drawn literally as i was turning 19 to pass time n to lament that i cant go to lesbian bars yet #second image is from september i drew the red doodles when i first downloaded the app im now using on my phone #n the first one i drew there was two match melodys (the one with a square head n line on her face) the second og match doodle is covered by #cordelia cause she is what the text says (cause i just drew her shape n then didnt draw on clothes cause my battery was low)#then theres a raz doodle my psn oc aster (still havent fully worked out her design) another match melody n then kucumber (green haired girl)#who is also the first doodle in the third image so nice i drew her twice anyway most of the doodles on the third image are cause #i was feeling nostalgic n looking through my deviantart gallary (i dont remember my password n its been years since i used it)#so theres kucumber willow (the two red doodles one of which is mostly covered up) n then redraws OF redraws #first is doggirl i redrew her more based off of her og design than her first redesign cause i liked the colors there more #the green horse is sour tart whos a redesign of one of my very first ocs (og name lightening heart. she was a nothing burger. sad ✌️)#n then ''cordelia'' again the second horse is positioned there cause i didnt like the rest of the doodle n then i remembered that i could #just delete the lower half so i did that 👍👍#second horse is speckled sweets they n sour tart are besties and are also both next gen fcs 😭 sour tart's parents are undecided atm #but shes an apple n speckled sweets is the kiddo of pinkie n sunburst (pinkie n cheese have an ever expanding polycule for design fun)#fourth image has mallow (cat girl also from my deviant) drew her entirely from memory so her design n colors are slightly off #nervous girl who is just a half redraw of a character i made in the pastel friends(?) app #and neptune whos from like a half story i made back in like 2020? n its like one of my older stories that i look back at n makes me go #''hey. whats ur problem??'' while still mostly remembering what i was thinking making it cause it wasnt that long ago #so! neptune's story thing is like a weird supernatural phenomenon happens while shes driving n causes her to crash #n once she wakes up shes like invisible to everyone n is confused as hell cause when she walks to get help (cause her phone was broken in th #crash n she has no noticeable injuries) no one responds to her cause yknow invisible until one person does who is. her psychic ex she had a #falling out with. not great but saturn is the only person who can see her n unintentionally causes neptune to freak out cause oh shit only #SATURN who is a PSYCHIC can see me rn am i dead?? but no shes fine neptune is just like halfway between the human plane n ghost(?) plane #they have like a weird thing going on cause neptune is stuck at their house n theres no solution to neptune's situation #cause saturn is like the weakest of the psychics in their family n the rest of their family is off all over the place dealing with the #varying fallout of the phenomenon that caused neptune's situation (she was the only one who got like halfwayies)#so saturn n neptune are stuck together alone waiting for one of saturn's family members to come home

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wetbananapeel · 7 months

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First gourd (and radish) I carved in my life 31 October 2019

#the drawing I class i was in in undergrad had a pumpkin carving day that year #i decided to be rebellious and buy a pumpkin to carve for the first time but when i went to the store there were no more pumpkins :')#so i got a gourd and a little skeleton for inside caude i wanted a scene #it was the first time i had carved anything for Halloween ever and i remember feeling so sinful at the time #there was this one person Maddie who was also giving tarot card readings and they were one of my major events(?) to realize i was gay #i didnt get a reading from them cause i was scared that was going too far and I would be too far gone messing with the 'occult'#and they made me nervous but i wanted more and couldnt figure out why (i chalked it up to them being 'cool' and wanting to be their friend)#anyways maddie gave me the radish cause they also didnt bring a pumpkin and had two radishes (cause they were buy 1 get 1) from Winn Dixie #i still think about maddie now and we talk sporadically i told them if they're ever in Chicago to come and visit me but they live in Canada #their art inspires me and i believe they could design a fantasy game or novel because of their work (i own a weird little dog of theirs)#i never mentioned anything to them at the time about being infatuated with them in class and i doubt i would now bc our life goals dont mesh #but i consider them to play a important role in my life and i appreciated the radish and wish i got the readings done #its wild how much growth can happen in just a few years -- i bought a mini pumpkin in September because i wanted to celebrate early #back then when i got home the gourd and radish was forcibly thrown away (and i didn't dare tell of my encounters in class with the lesbian!)#(i hold that memory in my heart & think of it fondly cause i hadnt realized yet i have much compassion for younger me who was never sinful)#now in grad school there is a new Maddie 🍈 who told me she didnt know why she keeps looking at my face in class and i think i know why #but she has yet to get there <3

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lisbonsteresa · 1 year

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climbing the walls this is so excellent

#tm #like oh i could really spiral out about this #this man has spent 10 years consumed by grief and loss and pain and revenge...he didn't really have a life outside it #he's such a good and caring man but he was also ready to use pretty much anyone and anything to get him to red john; to finish his quest #and then he did; he got red john and he's on the other side of that quest but....now what #that grief and loss and pain don't go away; it's all still there with him and now what does he do with it #without being able to channel it into this quest how does he deal with it #and i don't think he has; even in his two years away i don't think he has (because i do think that's something that they would address #or at least i hope the show hasn't let me down yet)#how does he move forward when so much of him is still stuck in the past #and that's not even touching the lisbon of it all #because for all of those 10 years she's been there with him; she's his friend; his partner; his (maybe only??) confidant #she's maybe the only one he really trusts; who he'll actually listen to; who he'll be honest with #(even if he doesn't do it perfectly or even well a lot of the time....re: the above)#and he knows he has feelings for her; he knows she has feelings for him (because he's not an idiot lfjkda)#he knows she wants more with him and he knows he wants it too but how does he do that?#what does that look like how does he he get what they both want when he still doesn't know how to say what that is?#how does he take that risk with her and lose the one constant he's had through everything else?#and at the same time he knows this isn't fair to her; he doesn't want her putting her life on hold for him romantic or otherwise #(he already learned his lesson there; he already got slapped in the face with that realization in that tiny airplane seat)#so yeah he wants her to go out and have fun with this nice man who has none of his baggage #who is able to tell her he likes her and he wants to get to know her better #meanwhile he (the person who maybe knows her better than anyone) is left sitting alone because he doesn't know how to use his WORDS #his memory palace and all his mind tricks and powers of observation are failing him and he has no idea how to let her know what he wants #he doesn't even really know how to let HIMSELF know and so here he is alone on a couch that's an imitation of the one he had at cbi #with the memory of what the imitation of a relationship with lisbon might be like wrapped around his neck #while the possibility of something real walks out the door #(this is the scary possibility that was on the other end of his 'does not compute' reaction and i hate it but i LOVE it #this show is doing so much so so well)

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heartofstanding · 6 months

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just checked the word doc which has my draft of the shrewsbury wound-john bradmore sequence, thinking it was around 10k long. it's actually 19,242 words long. double what i thought it was. holy crap.

#text posts #the henry v novels #literally just goes from hal waking up immediately post-shrewsbury to hal waking up immediately post-operation #and the start of a timeskip to his 17th birthday #(i kinda want to revise it to put in stuff from what i learnt about facial injuries in wwi caused by shrapnel and add in two more joans)#(joan of navarre and joan waryn hal's nurse - joan fitzalan is already there)#reread it recently and thought about how the alternate povs of it would be SO UPSETTING #hal's pov is somewhat kind to the reader because he's pretty out of it #he's either out of it with rudimentary medieval painkillers and anaesthesia or off his face with pain.#there's still emotional shit there but it's filtered through the physical pain and the 'drugs'#everyone else is dealing with the emotional shitshow of seeing someone you love in absolute fucking agony begging to die #while fearing he's going to die and having their own traumas #(i.e. joan fitzalan watching the grandchild that most resembles her dead daughter almost die)#(i.e. edward/aumerle has a brief appearance and you know he's Fucked Up because of losing richard ii and now he's losing hal)#(i.e. richard courtenay is basically 'i will stay here and love him as he dies if he dies' and witnesses every. fucking. thing.)#(i.e. joanne waryn is there and remembering him as a little baby she helped raise.)#(i.e. humphrey is Just A Kid trying to be strong for his big brother and making everything worse for bradmore)#(i.e. scrope can't cope and has to live with the guilt of that and oldcastle is overwrought and causing problems)#(i.e. bradmore is like 'i can see you're in desperate need of a dad. hello desperate need i'm dad.#also. i think your grandma might kill me if you die. so. don't ok?)#(i.e. joan of navarre is meeting her new husband's son for the first time and hoping he doesn't die.)#and hal's just. largely oblivious to all this.

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